Amy Hirabayashi SOC 2024 December 14, 2012 Reflection of My Reflection #1 I am half Japanese.

My father is full Japanese from Hawaii and my mother is Caucasian from Arkansas. I grew up knowing I was Japanese, but for some reason I did not consider myself to be Asian. When I was younger, children in my community did not see other children for their race, but instead we saw each other for our personalities. Looking back, I seemed to identify with white children, but I dont remember judging others because of their race. My elementary school was extremely diverse, full of children from all sorts of backgrounds. Instead of just labeling one another, we celebrated where we came from. My elementary school loved to have parents come in and teach a lesson on their familys culture. We all loved it when we learned about different cultures because often times we got to try different foods and listen to exciting music. As a child, I was not focused on the race of others. I had more important matters to think about. I think as a child, I had a colorblind view of race. I just did not care. As a multiracial, white/Asian child, I was probably subjected to different treatment based on my ethnicity, but I never took the time to consider it. It has been seen that multiracials can identify themselves in a multitude of ways: Most of these multiracials identify with their minority peers, adopt a blended multiracial identity, or discard racial labels all together (Renn 2000; Gaskins 1999), (Doyle & Kao, 2007, p. 406). I think this completely describes my multiracial identity development over the course of my lifetime. I began by completely disregarding racial labels all together. As I grew older, I seemed to identify with my white half. Then I developed a mixed view of myself based upon my blended identities.

It was not until high school when others began to classify me as an Asian. For the first time, I began feeling different from my peers. Because of the districting in my area, the majority of my friends from my middle school went to a different high school than me. This forced me to make all new friends, which meant I had to face judgments from a completely different group of peers who grew up in a place where there were not a lot of Asians. I often questioned my label, pointing out the fact that I was only half-Asian. But that did not seem to matter; I was still an Asian. Fortunately, I was upgraded to the status of a cool Asian after others got to know me. I guess people at my high school had only interacted with first generation Asian immigrants, because for some reason they were fascinated by the fact that I was so normal, or Americanized. Im not going to lie; this was a bit offensive at first. But soon enough, I accepted my label and ran with it. I realized how lucky I was because I could identify with two different crowds: the white kids and the Asians. I celebrated my Asianess by popularizing stereotypically Asian things, such as going on sushi dates and throwing up peace signs when taking pictures. People began accepting the quirky little Asian things I loved, which was great for me because it allowed me to mesh my two backgrounds in a way that was socially acceptable to my peers. It is characteristic for white/Asian multiracial youths to identify with both their white and nonwhite background. This is unique to all other white/minority youths studied by Harris and Sim (2002). They believed, The relatively small social distance between whites and Asians provides white/Asian youth with the freedom to choose between monoracial identities in contexts where a multiracial identity is unacceptable, (Harris & Sim, 2002, p. 622). This idea is consistent with my experience growing up as a half white, half Asian youth. I flip flopped between racially identifying with my white heritage and my

Asian heritage. The idea that there is a small social distance between whites and Asians is consistent with the idea that Asians are the model minority, or that they are the most like Caucasians. This could be why I was accepted so easily as a minority in high school. Compared to other minorities, I had it easy. Being able to identify with either my white or my Asian heritage is addressed in the term situational ethnicity. According to Doyle and Kao (2007) this is when the context determines ethnic loyalty. I think I experienced this a lot in high school when I felt I could jump from one crowd to another. At this point, I had not developed a blended view of my multiracial identity, but had instead developed the ability to identify with which ever racial crowd I was hanging out with, whether that was the white kids or the Asian kids. When I got to college, I was subjected to yet another level of Asian stereotypes, but this time it was a little more extreme. I cannot express how many times I have heard an Asian joke in the last two years of my college career. Even now, some of my closest friends will make comments that stereotype Asian people, thinking it is funny and that I dont mind it. One of my best friends calls me her Asian friend, as if it matters that I am Asian. She says it as if she is proud of the fact that she has a friend who comes from an Asian background. I find it bizarre that she needs to point it out every single time she talks about me or introduces me to someone. But I have got to say, I cannot look down at others for doing this because I have done the same thing to myself. I have learned how to celebrate my Asianess to others in a way that is generally accepted by my peers. Since I realized I actually subjugate myself to Asian stereotypes, I have tried to alter the way I present myself to others. Instead of focusing on my ethnicity, I try to focus on letting people get to know the person I am, my character and my values. I also try to

look at others in the same way. While ones ethnicity is important in understanding why someone is the way they are, what really matters is who they are. When reflecting about this paragraph, I began to think about the idea of white privilege. I think my friend that I discussed in the paragraph above suffers from having white privilege. Tim Wise (2008) discusses this idea in his article White Like Me. He talks about how white people are already born to belonging, they reap the benefits from the past, and they have profound denial about the advantages. As well, he talks about how white people tend to be ignorant of the truth. I think this is completely true of my misguided friend. She truly epitomizes someone who benefits from having white privilege, and is ignorant about the effect it is having on the world around her. I also think back to the idea that many white people try to say they are close friends with a minority. They want to prove what they would consider to be an un-racist befriending. But the way my friend does it turns out to be somewhat discriminatory because she is so ignorant about what she is constantly pointing out. Since taking this course, I have begun to call her and her mother out on the offensive comments they make about both me and other minorities in the community. I refuse to sit back anymore. It is hard to try to change human nature. I think the best way to combat racial judgments is by learning more about the people being judged. I try to put myself in as many scenarios that facilitate racial judgments and stereotyping as possible. I think if you continually put yourself in situations like that, you learn to put those judgments aside. For example, I am involved in a student group called Coalition for Refugee Resettlement. Twice a week I tutor a Kenyan refugee family in Lansdowne, a neighborhood in Roanoke that is considered to be the hood. It is known for shootings and gang violence. Pizza restaurants dont even deliver to Lansdowne

because it is so dangerous. When I first started going to Lansdowne, I was scared out of my mind. It was so easy for me to associate Lansdowne with what I thought the hood was. I falsely associated Lansdowne with poverty and gang violence. Well, it was a false association to an extent. It would be ignorant of me to completely disregard the socioeconomic status of the families in Lansdowne and the risk I take when I go there, but the point is that people from Lansdowne are much more than that. They are full of hope and love. While the stereotypes are founded on things that are real, the stereotypes are not what are important. This is something I have come to learn over the past year. It has helped me have a more open view on society. After reading the articles about assimilation in class, I realized that while I am going to Lansdowne to serve my African babies with the best of intentions, I am also catering to the system of having minorities assimilate to American ideals. Robert E Park and his predecessors (2004) discuss the entire assimilation process in their article, What is the Canonical Theory of Assimilation? This is the first time I realized I could be feeding into the system. In Lansdowne, I do give respect to the native culture of the children I tutor, but I also try to teach them about American customs. For example, while I could be trying to instill a heart for maintaining their traditional culture, I am instead teaching my children about Nikki Minaj and Disney stories. It kind of infuriates me. How could I not have realized it? At the same time, how can I truly prevent it? I am just grateful for realizing the impact I am actually making on these childrens lives. I spend most of my free time volunteering throughout the New River Valley and Roanoke area. Because I am constantly working with people who are the subjects of racism and prejudice, I have become more aware of where I stand on the matter. I volunteer with my community service-based sorority, Chi Delta Alpha, so I spend a lot of time talking about these issues with

my fellow sisters. We do our best to work around and shed our judgments so we can focus on those in need. As well, I come from a family that is very open to this subject matter, so I feel comfortable going to my parents and my sister to talk about race, ethnicity, racism, and all that comes with these issues. I realize my experience on this topic is minimal compared to the long historical standing of these issues, but I am eager to learn more about them because I will be able to apply both my personal experiences and newly learned knowledge to my every day life and to my future. Now, I find that I am not so eager to apply my learned knowledge to my every day life. Instead, I do it without thinking. This course has truly altered the way I approach a lot of things in life, especially the way I interact with and perceive others. Looking back, I think my family was not judgmental about racial matters. Instead, we just never talked about them. In class when we were talking about interracial marriages and relationships, I realized my parents fit into that definition. As silly as it sounds, I never labeled them as such. However, they do not fit the stereotypical white/Asian relationship as discussed in Interracial Relationships, by Kumiko Nemoto (2009). Instead of the bride from Asian norm of the man being white and the woman being Asian, my mom is white and my dad is Asian. Because my parents relationship is so different, I feel like they should have a much more liberal view in their positions on racial matters, but I feel as if they just disregard race altogether.

REFERENCES Nemoto, K. 2009. Interracial Relationships: Discources and Images. Pp. 296-300 in Race and Ethnicity in Society, edited by E. Higginbotham and M. L. Andersen. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth, Cengage Learning. Wise, T. 2008. White Like Me. Pp. 144-148 in Race and Ethnicity in Society, edited by E. Higginbotham and M. L. Andersen. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth, Cengage Learning. Harris, D. R., & Sim, J. J. (2002). Who Is Multiracial? Assessing the Complexity of Lived Race. American Sociological Review, Vol. 67, No. 4, 614-627. Park, R. E. (2004). What is the Canonical Theory of Assimilation? Journal of the History of the Behavioral Science, Vol. 40(2), 149-163. Doyle, J. M., & Kao, G. (2007). Are Racial Identities of Multiracials Stable? Changing SelfIdentification Among Single and Multiple Race Individuals. Social Psychology Quarterly, Vol. 70, No. 4, 405-423.

5. All essays must be in the instructor's hands no later than 9:45am on December 14 (Friday). You must turn in your essay to the instructor in McBryde 523. If you wish, students may turn in their essays earlier. However, once your essays are in the instructor's hands, early or not, students may not work on their essays further.