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MARRIAGE

&

SPOUSAL RELATIONS

Oct. 2nd, 2009


Jumu’ah Khutbah

Ali Abidi
Bismillah-ir-Rahmaan-ir-Raheem – In the name of God-the Most & especially Merciful

1.

- Strong Marriages are based on certain successful elements


- These elements are building blocks for All Human Relations
- Implementing these elements leads to successful Marriages
- Implementing these elements leads to successful Communities

2.

Marriage is Both Natural and Divinely Ordained:

(Holy Qur’an) Wa Khalaqnakum Azwaaja (An-Nabaa: 78:8)


Translation: We created you in pairs / bonded

3.

Marriage is an expression of exemplary Humanity:

(Holy Qur’an)… Wa Ja'ala baynakum Mawaddatan War-Rahmah


Inna fi Dhalika LaAayaatin li-Qaumin yatafakkaroon … (Ar-Room
30:21)

Translation of whole verse: And among His Signs is this; that He


created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in
tranquility with them, and He has put LOVE (MAWADDAH) and
MERCY (RAHMAH) between your (hearts): verily in that are
Signs for those who reflect.
Mawaddah – refers to a supportive (practical) love; an affection
that essentially involves sincerity, action, sacrifice and effort.

Rahmah – refers to Mercy and its derivatives in compassion,


kindness, care, benefaction, forgiveness, etc.

4.

There are a minimum of fourteen aspects of a successful marriage,


as described below, categorized into five main categories. These
categories were expounded in detail in the Khutbah. Here, their
main points are summarized as below:

A - PATIENCE (Sabr)

I – Act with Lightheadedness (Not Anger) for Problem-Solving

II – Kindness (Not dictatorial Brute Force/ Scolding/ Demanding)

III – Giving Opportunities (rather than condemning/abandoning)


(It is human to make mistakes – Give a second chance!)

B - COURAGE (to get better) and HUMILITY (to


not boast)

IV – Courage to stand against yourself, and improve


(Rather than to justify wrong actions)

V – Do not show off to spouse like you are separate


(God has created you in pairs as a single entity)
C - COOPERATION, FAITH and HOPE

VI – Support each other - physically and especially mentally.


(Be an encouragement – supportive words bring great relief)

VII – Trust in Allah (swt) together, & jointly seek His favor
(Two seekers are better than one, & spouses are a single unit)

VIII – Be optimistic, outline joint goals, and work towards them


(Have hope, work in conjunction, and keep Faith in God)

D - LOYALTY and SACRIFICE

IX – Appreciate Spouse's dedication of life to you


(Return the favor of dedication as your stamp of Loyalty)

X – Love is meaningless without Sacrifice


(Sacrifice replaces imperfection to make a perfect marriage)

E - COMPASSION and CHARITY

XI – Hadith: Treat brethren (inc. spouse) as you'd like to be treated


(Spouses are additionally our Muslim & Human brethren)

XII – Imam Ali: Practice Forgiveness despite the Power to Hurt


(Forgiveness is most genuine when one has power to punish)

XIII – Akhlaq: Good Manners and Etiquette


(Even a smile is a charity)

XIV – To be pleasant & have good demeanor - goes a Long Way!


(Mutually fulfill the desires of your spouses)
5.

REMINDERS

A Spouse is:

I – A BLESSING – Treat him or her as an asset and a favor

II – A TEST – Ensure that you patiently persevere to succeed in


maintaining cordial, cooperative, and beneficial relations

III – A TRUST from God – You must treat a Spouse well, and it
might very well be your Ticket to Heaven! Several Ahadith, on the
authority of the Prophet’s Family (Ahlul-Bayt), mention that the
certification of a spouse, vis-à-vis the conduct of their partner, will
be a great witnesses for benefaction on the Day of Judgment.

6.

PRAYER

Oh Allah! Bless us with strong Marriages

Oh Allah! Bless us with the elements that lead to Strong Marriages

Oh Allah! Bless us with those elements for Strong Communities!

Oh Allah! Bless us with those elements for Best Human Relations!

Oh Allah, Most Merciful, the Forgiving! Forgive us our sins,-

And bless us in both Dunya (World) and Aakhirah (Afterlife)!