How To Be Happy - WayToGod

www.waytogodproject.
com The Ultimate Source for Self Purification & Development Copyright 2013
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www.waytogodproject.com The Ultimate Source for Self Purification & Development Copyright 2013
Contents
Acknowledgement .............................................................. 4 WayToGod Team & The Author ................................... 4 Introduction .......................................................................... 6
Materials and Happiness .................................................................................... 8
Create The Ultimate You .............................................. 11

Purify Your Thoughts .........................................................................................12 Diminish Limiting Beliefs..................................................................................14 Get Over Depression ............................................................................................20 How to Deal With Tragedies ...........................................................................22 Boost Your Self Esteem ......................................................................................26 Boost Your Self Confidence ..............................................................................30
Contribute To The Happiness of Others ................ 39

Create a Mission ....................................................................................................42 Plan your life: .........................................................................................................44 The Life Plan Template ......................................................................................47
Find Happiness Now, with Allah ............................... 55

Real Happiness Will Never Happen Without Allah ..............................56 Repentance is Happiness ..................................................................................56 50 Tips For The Repenters ...............................................................................57
Conclusion ........................................................................... 63 References & Bibliography .......................................... 64
Acknowledgement
The WayToGod Team would like to dedicate this book to the ignored suffering faces all over the world, Muslims and non-Muslims, especially those who are in pain because of mans greed and evil doing; those who unlike us cannot get the opportunity to better their lives and live happily.
WayToGod Team & The Author

With the help of Allah and the contribution of other team members this book was created to relief emotional suffering. The Author of this book is a member of the WayToGod Team. Just like many people his bliss in life wasnt doing well, until he worked his way up to happiness and success. Now he is living life with intense happiness like never before. For years he has been studying personal development, Leadership, strategic planning, human behaviour, and the Islamic concept of Self Purification (Tazkiat Al- Nafs). He is driven by a strong passion for knowledge and growth. From a very young age he held different managerial positions in Britain. Just like all WayToGod members, he likes to keep his Good Deeds and identity anonymous. Even though his reading about the topics of this book is extensive (hundreds of books, 15 courses, and over 200 lectures)) he still believes that his knowledge is so little. Therefore he made sure that he doesnt write anything that comes close to exceed his current understanding and comprehension.
Whoever does righteousness, whether male or female, while he is a believer - We will surely cause him to live a good life, and We will surely give them their reward [in the Hereafter] according to the best of what they used to do. Quran
Our team consists of a group of people who united under a cause that we are certain of its victory, which is to fill the earth with justice and peace.
We are motivated by the Quranic Verse: Indeed God will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves." Quran The way we change the world is by inspiring and providing people worldwide with knowledge that leads to soul purification and personal development. Soul purification leads to the high levels of humanity. It diminishes evil and promotes goodness in the soul. Soul Purification also leads to a powerful relationship with our God and Creator (Allah); through it we can achieve heaven in the hereafter. Self Development leads us to develop every aspect of our lives in order to achieve success in this world and sustain a high level of satisfaction and productivity, furthermore it makes us take charge of our lives, help ourselves, and help the world. Please visit: www.waytogodproject.com to watch a Free series that will help you achieve self mastery and purify your soul from evil.
"Oh Allah! Make useful for me what you have taught me and teach me knowledge that will be useful to me. Oh Allah! I ask you for the understanding of the prophets and the memory of the messengers, and those nearest to you. Oh Allah! Make my tongue full of your remembrance and my heart with consciousness of you. Oh Allah! You do whatever you wish, and you are my availer and protector and best of aid."
Introduction
Throughout history until today the vast majority of people have been in search of happiness, as if it is a treasure that only the lucky discover. While some believe that happiness is a choice, others believe its a matter of personal experiences and life incidents. With this book, the WayToGod Team aims to give you short, straight to the point and effective techniques as well as knowledge that will help you understand the concept of Happiness in a way that anyone can relate to. The techniques we are talking about are based on personal development and are backed up by Islamic teachings. Although this book contains Islamic teachings, all the information given will benefit you regardless of whatever your faith may be. What you will notice throughout your reading is that Happiness is not an end, but it is a process. There is no point in your life when you will be happy ever after, but what will happen is that your happy days will greatly outnumber your sad ones. Even sadness will become weak in front of your determination and emotional power; hence you will be able to overcome sadness more easily. The process of happiness can be summarized by growth and contribution. This eBook will give you ways to satisfy two main needs of all human beings of which when satisfied, researches have shown a significant amount of happiness occurs. Chapter 1 of this eBook will give you ways to grow your individuality, personality, and inner power. Chapter 2 will guide towards living a life of gratitude and contribution that is based on achieving your goals in life and at the same time using those goals to contribute to the world. Chapter 3 will teach you that as Muslims we have another need that when ignored, it leads us to a lot of emptiness and sadness. This need is obeying Allah. So you will learn that your process of Growing and Contributing can be much more rewarding if it is done for the sake of Allah. Growth and Contribution are not the only human needs, but according to personal development and Islam, those two needs are the most fulfilling and lead to a longer period happiness.
Other human needs such as significance (attention), Certainty (comfort), or being loved, can also lead to happiness but they are less rewarding and last for short periods of time. This eBook aims to shift your focus towards satisfying the needs of Growth and Contribution. Will this book work on you? We are different; this means that people have different goals in life that make them happy, so this eBook does not treat everyone the same, but lays down powerful methods of how you can achieve your goals in ways that do not lead to emotional pain. If you want to truly benefit from this book and truly embrace every moment of your life, I encourage you to align your beliefs and philosophies with the information given to you here. Though we dont believe it is the only way to Happiness, I believe it is the best way. I am not trying to change your dreams, character, or needs. The book includes proven techniques, methods, and beliefs that can work on everyone including you. So no matter what your faith is, you will be offered help in a way that you dont feel like you need to be someone else, but rather in a way that will help you be your true self and enjoy every moment of your life. I would also like to apologize if there are any mistakes or wrong information given to you. As we are fallible human beings, we are liable to write fallible books, for all books are fallible apart from one, as according to our faith the only true infallible book is the Quran.
Materials and Happiness

Do materials bring happiness? Yes and No. It all depends on your intention. Lets say for example X is a poor man living in a rich environment. For many years he felt inferior to his peers. They used to treat him differently and arrogantly, so he became determined to be richer than his peers in order to appear superior to them. He then spends many years building his wealth, maybe starts compromising his integrity in the process, getting greedier and greedier; every time he becomes richer than one person he discovers that there is always one person richer than him. Do you think his money made him happy? After spending years of hard work just to appear superior definitely didnt make him happy, what would have made him happier is treating his feelings of inferiority and leaving the environment he was living in. Lets imagine Y, a poor man who regardless of his poverty he still felt content and happy with what he has because there are people who are poorer than him. Y feels that he has the ability to learn new skills and work hard to create a better life for himself and his family. Rather than living in small house, he can get a bigger one, he can own a car to facilitate an easier life for his family...etc. So his goal was to make a capital and start his own business later on, after a few years he eventually succeeded and was able to use his money to help those who were poor. Do you think that his money made him happy? Off course, unlike X who seeked materials to be better than other people and become significant, Y seeked materials to be better than who he was before due to the self growth and contribution he achieved. What you need to understand is that (happiness + materials) depend on your intent. No matter how rich you are, if you dont feel content with what you have you will never be happy, and satisfying your ego by seeking materials will also make you happy, but for a very brief moment. At the same time when your intention is to improve yourself or your life, the materials you achieve will not make you happy as the process of developing yourself and helping others will.
What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau Furthermore there are studies that were made to analyze how happiness is affected by materials. These studies were conducted on people who won the lottery. For one year those people's happiness increased, but after the year was over their happiness went down to the same level it was on before winning the lottery. The same study was conducted on people who lost their limbs due to accidents. Their level of happiness decreased for one year and then went back to the same level it was on before the accident 1.
Islam and Happiness

Sadly there are many misconceptions by Muslims regarding happiness; as long as we dont overcome them, we wont be happy. For example: This life is a test so believers should be sad. Happiness is not created for us, disbelievers will enjoy this life and we will enjoy the one after. We should not seek to get materials from this world (Misunderstanding of Zuhd) God has put me into calamities, nothing I can do about it. The more we struggle here, the more reward we get from the hereafter. So its good to put ourselves in struggles. The list continues... Arabia before Islam was a truly chaotic place; it was filled with theft, oppression, murder, illegitimate relationships...etc. Only the small minority who possessed the power at the time were happy. The majority of people were living in sorrow, pain, loss, helplessness, and suffering. Until the Great Man Mohammad (P.B.U.H) delivered the message of God and relieved sadness from Arabia, in just 15 years it became a rich and prosperous place where all people were treated justly. Whats astonishing about Islam, is that its concept of self purification is in harmony with the scientific point of view with regards of happiness (Psychology of Happiness). God gave you Islam to make you live happily and fulfilled in this life. He knows that this world has many dangers, so He commanded you to abstain from some actions because they will make you suffer.
What God doesnt want, is you having an uncontrolled feeling of happiness that makes you lose control over your behaviour and develop illogical reactions that lead to sin. If we ponder over the emotions that are associated with happiness, we conclude that most of them if not all are required by Islam, which are: Love and warmth Appreciation and gratitude Curiosity, thirst for knowledge Excitement and passion Determination Flexibility Confidence Cheerfulness Vitality Contribution2 Most feelings of Sadness are not required in Islam, the Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) and many verses convey this reality. For example:
O Allaah, I take refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow Prophet Mohammad PBUH So do not weaken and do not grieve, and you will be superior if you are [true] believers. Holy Quran, Ali-Imran 139
The required painful emotions in Islam are those which are related to some matters in the hereafter. For example the feeling of regret that is caused by sins and that leads to repentance; or the feeling of fear that deters us from disobedience. But as long as the person is close and obeying God, automatically feelings of peace will glorify his/her life. The truth is repentance is one of the greatest happiness, because it ultimately channels itself into the happiness we feel when we are close to our Creator.
Create The Ultimate You

True Happiness is the process of satisfying two basic needs in human beings, which are growth and contribution. Growth is the process of growing your personal abilities, character, morals, and everything that has to do with you, it also applies to materials. Islam satisfies this need in you with the concept of Self Purification (TazkiatAlnafs). You should use this concept as a means to grow your personal abilities and powers. The idea of creating a new, powerful, able, strong, resilient You automatically brings satisfaction and joy to you. To be Happy, you must master yourself, and master your being. You must lift yourself up to much higher levels of You. The first step towards happiness you should take is to be happy in your own skin. You will never be happy if you want to be someone else, because this goal is unattainable and everyone else is taken, the only one you can be and is free to be is You. But do you know who you are? Would you believe me if I tell you that you are created equal to all other happy people? God created you and has put inside you the potential to be and do wonders in this world. A man who believes that he is unable, inadequate, or mentally weak most of the time cant please Allah by seeking knowledge, succeeding at work, teach others...etc. So in order to be happy, first you must discover who you truly are and live as who you truly are. You must embrace your individuality and uniqueness.
And is one who was dead and We gave him life and made for him light by which to walk among the people like one who is in darkness Quran Al-'An`m 122
Purify Your Thoughts

Most people buy this book and similar ones because they think that they are not happy or they think they are happy, but they think that they need to be happier. What this means is that your thoughts play a huge role on how happy you can be in life. If I ask you right now to think of a bad memory, your mind will dwell on that memory and recall the bad and negative feelings you had during that incident. On the other hand if I tell you to think of a time back in your life when you felt really happy your mind will recall happy feelings. While a minor amount of negative thinking is healthy, indulging in negative thinking shatters your happiness. To make it simple and brief, your state of happiness is highly determined by what you think most of the time. You might ask How do I know if this thought is positive or negative? Whenever you feel sad, angry, depressed, jealous, hateful, selfish or any negative emotion, be certain that youre having unhealthy thoughts. What this means is that our normal state is to be at peace, what prevent us from being so are negative thoughts that swing our moods (mood swings). If I ask you to think about your future, what can you see? Do you see it a dark, unknown, scary place? Or do you see success, happiness, and hope? At the end of his shift, one man was told that the CEO of the company wants to have a meeting with him the next day. The man started to wonder why the CEO wants to meet him, what did he do wrong? Did he forget to complete any work? He went home thinking that he will be fired the next day, and that he must find another job. A fearful night passed sleepless, the man goes the next morning sad and depressed to the meeting.
And they will say, "Praise to Allah , who has removed from us [all] sorrow. Indeed, our Lord is Forgiving and Appreciative- Quran, Fatir 34
The CEO looks at him joyfully as he welcomes him and says: Congratulations, you have been promoted. If this man was a positive thinker, he wouldnt have spent a whole night sad and worried. Regardless of what is happening in the external world, what made the man restless on that night were the negative thoughts he was having. The incident was positive but he thought about it negatively, so he deprived himself from enjoying a whole night of sleep. Similar incidents happen to us every day, so imagine how sad our lives could end up. In order to be happy you must cultivate feelings of hope and optimism most of the time. You must develop a habit of thinking positively about every aspect of your life. The best way to do that is by believing that God holds all good things for you, but at the same time you must do something about it. In order to feel hopeful what should you think of? Positive thoughts of course. Remember: the way you feel is determined by what you are thinking of. Rather than thinking thoughts that arouse your sadness and negative emotions, develop the habit of thinking thoughts that boost your motivation, tranquillity and peace. Practical Exercise to eliminate negative thinking So the challenge for you now is to not think or dwell in any negative thought for more than 1 minute. For 10 days whenever you get a negative thought replace it with a positive one that bring you good feelings. To help you do this, perform the following steps for 10 consecutive days: 1. The First thing you should do when you wake up daily is to read/watch or do something that brings you happy thoughts and feelings.
Successful indeed are the believers Quran, Al-Muminoon 1
2. When you get a negative thought or emotion remove yourself quickly out of that state, for example: Rather than feeling sad because This person hates me for no reason, you say I cant be liked by everyone, Even God is not loved by all people. As Long as Im doing the right thing, peoples opinions dont matter much...etc. Keep finding ways to get over your negative thoughts within 1 minute maximum. 3. Whenever you fail and dwell on a negative thought for more than 1 minute start the challenge again.
Diminish Limiting Beliefs

After dwelling in many negative thoughts, you start to form limiting beliefs that stop you from being happy, for example: Sometimes in life we face some experiences that we interpret negatively so they highly destabilize us and give us severe pain. In order to prevent this experience from happening again, your mind utilizes a defence mechanism. The defence mechanism forms a belief in your mind that limits you from acting the same way that led you to face the same pain. Many times the defence mechanism guards us from harm, but sadly in many occasions it works against our happiness. Success is luck Life is hard No pain no gain Only $1 Million will make me happy
To be simple, a negative limiting belief is a belief that limits you from what you can do and achieve as a being, it holds you back from taking steps that in most occasions can make you happy. Limiting beliefs are like the mother who is overly worried about her child, dont play in the mud you will get sick, dont run you will fall, dont swim you will drown, dont dont dont. What this mother is not aware of is that she is limiting her child from trying and expanding. Nothing is more inhibiting and provoking to a life of fear than a limiting belief. A repetitive negative thought becoming a limiting belief causes you to live by its rules and in turn dictates your mental, spiritual, emotional and psychological processes within its limits and boundaries. This situation is a huge wall that blocks you from happiness.
God created us as able beings, regardless of our imperfections. Those imperfections are what give us the urge to keep striving towards whats better, to keep developing and evolving. We are ABLE, we can do anything we want. There are NO limits (apart from Gods decree), only limiting beliefs, whether they come from within, Satan, or from outside. Use no way as way. Have no limitation as limitation Bruce Lee The ultimate point to consider is that you have one of two choices, either to remain in denial about your limiting beliefs which will inevitably lead you to a spiritual and psychological collapse (emotional pain). Or to rid yourself of these mental parasites that feed on your fear and uncertainty, and become and be what you were born to be, YOURSELF (Happy) The belief that: I shouldnt do something, Ive failed before caused you to skip on opportunities and miss chances thus missing out on wealth and success, I cant trust ANYONE caused you to go astray from people or to stay formal which left you no chance for mutual understanding and no harmony to be achieved. I should be as good as my peers made you compare yourself to others with different situations, upbringings etc and caused you less selfconfidence and shattered your self-esteem, also bringing life to your fear of being inferior I dont deserve success unless I follow the exact steps that some successful people did made you succumb to conformity and also believe that you cant do things your own way I cant afford to put in effort in caring how others feel just cancelled all your chances of probably achieving any of your ambitions. It is way too risky to be different as Ill be looked at as weird or be abandoned for being non-confirmative is understandable, yet it is limiting and also damaging to your whole sphere of well-being Another example of limiting beliefs is: Me: Salam Alaykom bro, why are you upset today?
Brother in Islam: I really hate my job. Me: Why do you hate it? Brother: They give me long night shifts, and I get no time to rest at all. Brother: But thank God for everything, what can I do. No one is happy with his job. ------Limiting Belief. Brother: All jobs are boring anyway. ------- Limiting Belief Me: !! As you can see, my friend here has formed limiting beliefs that prevent him from taking action. If he believes that He can find a job that makes him happy, if he believes that There are jobs that are fun to do he would have found them. You might wonder how do I know if my beliefs are true or false? This is a common question that many people ask because limiting beliefs appear so real, so in order to believe that you can be happy even though your past was ugly, present is not perfect, future seems unknown. You should find evidences and proofs to convince your subconscious mind that your limiting beliefs wrong, for example you can read about people who had terrible childhoods and past experiences and still went far beyond those limitations. Let us assume there are two men named X and Y and they come across a seemingly heavy box blocking the road. X: Do you think we can push this box? Y: Definitely No, (Judging from the appearance) X: Im going to try. The difference between X and Y is great. X regardless of the heavy look of the box has decided to go out and try pushing it. This type of a person does not allow his mind to limit his achievements but goes beyond. Y however decides to not even try pushing the box because of its size and look. What if the box was empty from inside? Y would have been stuck on the road forever. This is exactly the same with limiting beliefs; they limit our potential, and in many cases can put us in hopeless situations when we have many ways
out. We will talk about the relationship between beliefs and achievements in the self-confidence section.
Satan threatens you with poverty and orders you to immorality, while Allah promises you forgiveness from Him and bounty. And Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing. Quran Al-Baqara 268,
What you need to learn from this is that one of the reasons that makes us sad is the limiting beliefs we adopt from our previous experiences. Technique to Diminish Limiting Beliefs about happiness: Do you believe that you can be fully happy now?
If not, why not? (Write down all the limiting beliefs you have, at least 5)
How did you develop those beliefs? (Think of experiences that made you believe that you cant be happy now)
Write down 3 reasons for why of your limiting beliefs are false and can be overcome.
Now write down of at least 5 new empowering beliefs that if you develop you can be happy now.
What can I do now, in order to convince myself that I am becoming a happier person?
Note: You can use this model to diminish limiting beliefs in anything you want. Not only happiness. Just modify it so that it suits you and make sure that your new beliefs do not contradict your Islamic teachings.
Get Over Bad Emotions

One of the greatest blessings God has given is bad emotions. Yes, I'm serious. Let me tell you why. Why Do We Get Bad Emotions? Do you know why we feel physical pain? If for example you touch fire your body automatically sends you a warning message to remove your hand from the fire so that you dont burn your hand. This message is pain. If you don't get pain your hand would be in fire and burn and maybe then might need to be totally removed, then you will live your life - God forbid - with one hand. When you get a stomach pain, your body is notifying you that you might have eaten something harmful and you should treat it as soon as possible. This means that pain: 1. Prevents us from harming our selves more. 2. Notifies us when we have made a mistake, which we can learn from and not repeat. 3. Drives us to take immediate action to solve our problems. Same happens with emotional pain. Do you remember the last time you felt regret because you disobeyed God? This bad feeling is motivating you to take action and protect you from greater harm. Hell. The action required in this case is repentance. Another example is when you feel sad because your job does not suit you and you need a better one, this pain is telling you that you have great abilities to find a better one. As a final example, the pain of the girl who used to love a guy and the guy she loved married another girl. She feels helpless and unable to get over him, she adopts the beliefs of "I cant live without him", "I can never love anyone again"...etc This emotional pain is telling her to take action, either by finding a way to marry him or get over him. If he's married already or he's gone, then the logical solution for her is to patiently expect a new man in her life and she then makes sure that she doesn't give her heart to anyone but the one who is fully ready to marry her. There are other things that give you bad emotions; things that happen externally, and things that you do.
External sources of emotional pain Your life might involve some people who give you bad emotions, through criticism, insults, deception or lying. Some of those people might be unavoidable like family members, or avoidable like friends. There are other external things that make you upset such as your job, poor car, small house, traffic jams, low salary...etc.
"...Fear not, nor grieve. Indeed, We will save you and your family... Al-Ankabut 33
The best method to avoid bad emotions from external circumstances is by not allowing any external incident to destabilize your inner peace, in other words to give no value to those who continuously insult you, to block the avoidable negative people out of your life if they are bringing you down. Just like social websites, anyone who bothers you and wishes harm to come to you, can easily and peacefully be blocked. As for things that bother you like shortage of materials, you have to feel grateful for having them in the first place. Secondly you should write out a detailed plan on how to solve those problems. If you dont like your job, write a detailed plan on how you will find a better, new job in 3 months. If you need more money, write down a plan on how you will make $10000 in 3 months. As soon as you start writing a powerful plan that convinces your subconscious mind that you are solving the problem, automatically the bad emotion will fade away. Internal Sources of Bad Emotions Same story happens with the things you do internally. If you are sad because youre not giving time to your family, write a plan and follow it by action. If you are not happy with your behaviour or attributes, write down a detailed plan on how you will boost your desired attributes. In conclusion
whenever you get any of the following emotions, be certain that immediate action is required: 1. Discomfort 2. Fear 3. Hurt 4. Anger
5. Frustration 6. Disappointment 7. Guilt 8. Inadequacy 9. Overload, overwhelm 10. Loneliness3

...But sufficient is your Lord as a guide and a helper. Al-Furqan 31 What happens if we ignore our problem?
Get Over Depression

Sadly, if we ignore our problems and form limiting beliefs that make us lose hope, depression will attack us with no mercy. For example: The man I love got married + I can never love anyone again. Problem= I love this man, and unable to marry him False belief= I can never love anyone again. Despair = Problem + False Belief. What is the difference between bad emotions and Depression? Bad emotions are temporal because you can see some form of a solution to your problem, but if you accompany your problem with no solution, Depression occurs. Depression= Unsolved Problem + No/Low Hope What this means is that the way to get over depression is to boost your hope and to solve your problem. As Muslims we are so blessed to have the concept of hope. Allah strictly commanded us to not fall in despair and to continuously hope for His Mercy, because despair makes us not take any action. Imagine a man who disobeyed God greatly, and then he starts believing that "God will not forgive him, and certainly he will go to hell". Do you think this man will ever repent? Surely Not. What you need to understand is that depression is harmful, and that you can get over it easily by optimising your hope and Taking Action Now!
If you are depressed because you failed in your business and need to pay your debts, try again. You failed again. Try again. Your belief must be I keep trying until I succeed or die. I believe that God is with me and will surely help me.
Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. Ash-Shar 6
If you are depressed because people don't like you, look deep inside and identify why. You might be doing something wrong. Or maybe the environment your in is not for you. Either change yourself or your environment. If you are depressed because you think youre not modest enough, courageous enough, generous enough. Take action and boost those attributes with full hope that God eventually will bless you with those attributes.
What if there is no solution? If for example you were not successful to get a goal, object, spouse...etc, and there is only one of its kind, or you lost a loved one, then the way to get over it is by acceptance. But remember there is no problem without solution. The solution may be different than what you initially desired, but it still exists. If you did a mistake in the past that depresses you in the present, your solution is to find ways to change your negative perception of the mistake and take it as a lesson to learn from. At the same time you should convince your mind that this mistake will never happen again. The way you can do so is by behaving in a way that opposes that mistake. The parents who have a disabled child, and theres no way to recover him. Then acceptance will be their first solution.
Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful."Az-Zumar 53
Acceptance is another attribute of a believer. Acceptance means that you are truly happy and joyful with what God has given you. If there is no way you can achieve that goal you should accept and thank God for it, because surely it is for your own benefit. This doesn't mean that you stop taking action. It only means that you need to find alternatives.
How to Deal With Tragedies

And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return." Holy Quran, Al -Baqara 155-156
As Muslims we believe that one reason we were put in this world is trial. Allah wants to try us with good and bad, so He divides us into heaven or hell. So He made this life to be liable to ups and downs, joy and sorrow, faith and disbelief. It is up to us to choose which side we want to be on, we either live thankfully (those are the happy and joyful), or we live ungrateful (those are the sad and upset). If we truly understand this concept, we will be able to maintain a high level of happiness in life regardless of the external incidents that strike us. No one is safe from trials and tragedies. At any time we might lose someone we love. At any time we might lose our health, wealth, and other blessings. I am sure that you have met someone before who was tasting the severe pains of life, but at the same time you see him/her in utmost joy and peace. I remember a friend of mine who was suffering from cancer, he lost most of his weight, his skin was pale, and most of his liver was removed. Yet his attitude, smile, joy, faith in Allah was unbelievable. Only few know about his illness. He never moans, complains, or speaks about his suffering. Pleasing his Lord is the centre that his whole life orbits around. Do you not wonder how? Before answering this question, let me tell you how most people deal with tragedies. People who yet have no emotional endurance face what is called a grief cycle when they are struck with calamities. The grief cycle consists of 5 stages: 1. Shock- The initial paralysis when hearing the bad news.
2. Denial- Common when people try to avoid the problem. They think that denying its existence will make them feel better. 3. Anger- anger is caused because of the frustration and repressed emotions. 4. Bargaining- Starts when people try to find a solution or alternative. 5. Acceptance- When people are ready to move forward.4 As you can see the grief cycle takes a long time to pass, as a lot of time of is taken by shock, denial and anger, until we start getting over our tragedies. The trick to dealing effectively with our tragedies is to: 1. Accept them as soon as they occur. 2. Secondly, find a solution to the problem. To be brief and straight to the point, this is step by step guide to dealing effectively with tragedies and to immune ourselves from being highly affected by them:
1. Expect the best to happen, but be ready for the worst.

The reason most people feel shocked when calamities happen is that their mindsets are not trained to face calamities. Many people believe that they will not face any hurtful incidents, or they can get everything they desire in life. Children who have been brought up in excessive comfort where all their demands are satisfied immediately face this problem more than others. The key here is to always be optimistic that Allah will nourish your life with happy things, but if the worst was to happen, one must be ready to accept it. You need to train your mind that this life is not full of joy, but will also accompany mean incidents that intend to weaken you. By just preparing for them, you will strengthen your character and resilience abilities.
2. Take Responsibility to how you feel

Emotions do not happen without control. It is us who make ourselves happy or sad. No matter what happens in our lives, we are the ones who choose how to respond to them.
Say, "Never will we be struck except by what Allah has decreed for us; He is our protector." And upon Allah let the believers rely. Quran, At - Tawba 51
Satan would want you to fall in negative emotions, but whenever you will, you can free yourself from sadness, jealousy, hate and other negative emotions. Many people say "I am sad and I can't do anything about it". You can do so much. Just choose to take the lead.
3. When it happens, accept it.

It happened. The thing that you most fear or don't ever wish to happen to you has just happened. What do you do? Never catasrophize the incident. Catasrophizing is a distorted thinking which exaggerates the consequences of an action by thinking of it as a catastrophe.5 If you fall into this habit, automatically you will fall in the grief cycle mentioned earlier, hence it will take a much longer time to get over the tragedy. Your only initial response to any calamity is to stay as calm as a smooth river. When the swimmer gets stuck in a rip tide, he must never swim against it. Even the best swimmer in the world cannot swim against a rip tide. What he must do is to stay where he is, and find a way to swim horizontally to free himself from the tide. This is the same with the rip tides of life, never rebel against your personal problems, never rebel against what Allah has put you through. At the same time don't let the water drop you. What you should do is patiently wait and accept what Allah has put you through until you find a way to get over your problem. Acceptance doesn't mean that you will never be emotionally sad or tired, but it means that sadness doesn't affect you drastically. The best motive to acceptance is to acknowledge that whatever happened is for your own benefit, because God never brings evil to you. You must also believe that the benefits of this incident will appear at some point in your life and may also be the reason behind a great amount of your success. With acceptance your mind will be functioning in an efficient manner and gives you the ability to solve your problems creatively and wisely. Unlike shock, it destabilizes your thoughts and takes you far from reality. The best example of acceptance when dealing with tragedies can be learnt from a great man who existed in history. This man is called Husain, he is
the grandson of the most inspiring man ever born, Prophet Mohammad Peace be upon him.
Husain found himself responsible to rise against the oppression and injustice that was spreading across the land only a few decades after the Prophet (P.B.U.H) had passed away, as this noble religion was being hijacked to serve those who wished to take power. He marched with a handful of soldiers no more than a hundred - to a battle against a vast army of tens of thousands. Husain lost his closest loved ones including 17 members of his family, sons, brothers, and cousins. Once they all died, he found himself alone in the battlefield; he then sincerely said "Oh Allah are you pleased now? If not take from me until you are pleased." Eventually the great leader was slaughtered after a long heroic fight, but this battle was a remarkable incident that led to the destruction of an evil empire. None of us will face a worst tragedy than Husains in life. Therefore we must model his behaviour when dealing with our problems. Like the Arabic proverb says "One who hears about the tragedies of others, his tragedy becomes easier for him." 4. Bargain- Find a Solution Once you calmly accept the tragedy, take few days off work and rest alone in a place you find peaceful. Many people say keep yourself busy so that you forget your problems. This is not good, never keep yourself busy because this will leave your problem buried in your subconscious mind and will keep bothering you very often. So stay alone for a few days and do things you love, drawing, reading, painting...etc. The best thing to do is to pray. Pray as much as you can so that Allah helps you. While doing so, you should be writing a detailed plan on how you will get over your problem. Once fully written you are ready to move on happily. Final Tip While going through hardships, keep the reward of heaven in mind. No matter how tough things get, at the end of the day we are still winning. We are winning more of a magnificent heaven and less of hell.
Never Despair. Tomorrow will always be better, so I must Act Now!
Boost Your Self Esteem

One reason that makes us sad is that we are not satisfied with who we are, and thinking that we are worthless. There are various reasons for this... The media tends to show engineered beautiful women that make girls feel the need to raise their standards of physical beauty in order to match what they see in the media. Parents criticizing the child too much, giving the child names and labels such as: "you are useless". You are ugly". "You are weak". School teachers embarrassing children in front of their peers. Most self esteem problems are caused due to incidents that happened in the childhood. So many people, especially girls, are not happy with who they are. She doesn't like her nose, he doesnt like his height. She wishes to be skinny, he wishes to be muscular. Self esteem is the ability to live happily with who you are. It is very healthy to improve your looks, but you must focus on your character most of all. Your character is what will form your true identity. To be straight to the point, here are 3 simple techniques you can use to raise your self-esteem and be happy with who you are:
1. Cultivate Gratitude
The most effective way to boost your self esteem is by cultivating gratitude. We must be grateful to God for creating us as who we are. If there is anything you don't like about yourself, accept and thank God for it. Whatever God gives us is beautiful. If you think about it, you can't really change everything in about the way you look, so it's not logical to be sad over things you can't change. What you can do however, is truly be content for what you have because there are a lot of people who have less, or who have to do with unpleasant circumstances that you dont have to. According to an experiment done by the psychologist Dr. A. Emmons, People who are grateful for what they go through weekly, experience 20% more happiness than those who are not grateful.
...And if you should count the favor of Allah , you could not enumerate them. Indeed, mankind is [generally] most unjust and ungrateful. Holy Quran, Ibrahim 34
Furthermore gratitude boosts the overall well-being and happiness of a person. Even in Islam, Allah commanded us to always worship him from the state of thankfulness and gratitude and He exalted named this form of worship as the worship of the free. Whether its your looks, possessions, or an embarrassing past experience, embrace all your flaws and mistakes because they are lessons for you to take from life. No one is perfect, so dont expect yourself to be so. In order to boost your gratitude, perform the following exercise: Gratitude Exercise: Every night before you go to bed, write down everything you like about yourself as well as everything you liked that happened during your day, and then Thank Allah for blessing you with them. Also try to add the things you dont really like about you and thank Allah with full gratitude for having them. Practice this exercise every night and you will start to feel your self-esteem begin to increase from the very first few days. The first few times may seem fake, but you have to fake it till you make it.
2. Stop Comparing yourself to others

Another reason behind low self esteem is when we compare ourselves to others. Youre not sad because your ugly, youre sad because your uglier than her. Youre not sad because youre poor, but sad because youre poorer than him. Once you compare yourself to those who have "better" looks, possessions, attributes than you, automatically your self esteem decreases and jealousy enters. What you need to focus on is your own self. Forget about those who are "better" than you and focus on those who are "worse" than you. I'm using the terms "better" and "worse' to deliver the message. I believe that materials dont make people better than others. Look at those who dont have enough daily food, or those who lost their beautiful faces from burns and accidents. Never feel inferior or superior to anyone. We are all equal.
Or do they envy people for what Allah has given them of His bounty?... Al-Nisaa 5, Quran
Stop comparing yourself to others, and focus on competing with the You of yesterday. Improve yourself daily to be a better person than you were the day before until you create the Ultimate You. Self Talk Have you ever been late for work, rushed down to your car and realized that you forgot the keys in the house? If you didn't experience this situation surely you have with a similar situation, the first thing you say to yourself is "oh, I'm so stupid". This is self talk. Whatever you say within yourself about yourself is taken by your mind to be true. Once you repeat it many times your mind will take it as a fact and identify you by it. This is why the great boxer Mohammed Ali used to repeat while training "I am the greatest". He is reprogramming his subconscious mind to believe that he is the greatest boxer. Once programmed the mind will automatically support you with everything you need to live up to this identity. So in order to boost your self esteem you must never say a negative destructive description, such as: "I am bad", "I am weak", "I am ugly" "I hate my job" "Im not good enough" I cant, I will fail, I feel sad The only time you should talk about your weaknesses is when you are seeking Allahs help and forgiveness. Other than that, what you need to say is "I like myself" "I am happy to be me", "I continuously grow and learn new things", "I like people and people like me", "God is with me and supporting me" No matter what happens in my life, I always maintain stable content feelings of happiness.
[Moses] said, "No! Indeed, with me is my Lord; He will guide me." Ash-Shuraa 62, Quran
This positive self talk is a powerful way to maintain a positive attitude and self esteem. But they will not work unless you eventually learn to truly say them with genuine emotions and feelings that are true. You need to repeat those phrases with powerful emotions at least 100 times a day. Positive self talk regulates your moods, whenever you say something negative about yourself your mood negatively changes, so in order to be happy in life you must always talk and focus about your positives while improving your negatives. What you will notice is that once you start talking positively about yourself and improving your weaknesses, not only will your self-esteem increase, but so will your self-confidence.
And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah] Holy Quran, Al-Baqara 45
Boost Your Self Confidence

How would you feel if you came to know that you are able to do everything you want to do in life? You will be able to achieve all the success you need, quit all the addictions you have, get the wife/husband you like, have a strong relationship with God. You name it. You will feel happy, of course. But why? Because you just satisfied one of your basic human needs which is Certainty. You became certain that you can get what you desire. This is exactly what self confidence is. Self confidence is the trust in one's own abilities to do a task (offcourse with the power Allah has given you). Self confidence is a form of courage. The more courageous you are the happier you will be in life, because fear is the enemy of happiness. With self confidence you can expand and grow to reach your potential. Your life will have many opportunities and achievements. Mr. Anthony Robbins who is one of the best self development experts in the world explained how certainty helps you achieve greater outcome.
And on the earth are signs for those who have Faith with certainty Quran, Ad-Dhariyat 20
What the diagram of Mr. Robbins is trying to say is that the results you achieve in life highly depend on your potentials, Actions you take, and most importantly Certainty. The results you achieve in life highly depend on your potential, the Actions you take, and most importantly Certainty. The first thing you should think of is the potential. What is the potential of a human being? As mentioned earlier every human being has the potential to be happy and achieve whatever he/she wants to achieve. Even people who are looked at as disabled still have great potential to utilize their strengths to better their lives and be happy. Firstly, in order to achieve the results you desire, you need to acknowledge that you have a great potential to achieve that result. Secondly, the amount of Action you take in life highly affect the results you are seeking. If you wish to achieve great results with little action, the principles of this world will work against you. The third and most important factor that contributes to your desired results is Certainty. Certainty means that you believe without a shadow of a doubt in what you are seeking. You know exactly what you want and you are certain that nothing will stop you from achieving it. If one person wants to be successful in his career, and at the same time he doesnt believe that it can really happen for him, he is selling himself short as his certainty may be used as an early indicator to the level of success he will achieve. What amount of potential will he use? Little potential, which leads to little action. Hence the result he will achieve is little. So his belief system will say see, I told you real success is not really for you. On the other hand however, if he believes with absolute certainty that he will get all the results he wantsHow much potential will he use? Big potential, which then leads to big action. Hence the result he will achieve is Big Results.
...And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him]. Ali-Imran 159
This is exactly why Allah commanded us to Believe in Him with Certainty. The more Certain we are about His existence, punishment, reward, aid, the more inner power we will gain to use all our potential to take more Action that gets us closer to Him. What you need to understand is that self confidence is the most effective way to boost your certainty in life. Being confident that you will gain religiousness, happiness, and success will give you a better chance to achieve them. So how can you boost your self confidence? 1. God (Allah): As Muslims we have a great concept that boosts our self confidence which is the trust in God. In fact, your self-confidence must be mainly based on the source of all powers which is Allah; the Creator of everything. We must believe that Allah has given us great potential to achieve and gain everything we need. We must trust God and be certain that He will help, support, aid, heal, give, forgive, care, and nourish us with all His goodness. Putting your trust in Allah is the main step to self confidence.
When two parties among you were about to lose courage, but Allah was their ally; and upon Allah the believers should rely. Holy Quran, Ali-Imran 122
If we don't base our confidence on God we might be liable to become over confident in our abilities and give birth to an ego-centric form of confidence that makes us live an illusion away from our reality, and hence drive us further away from our goals. We might start to overestimate ourselves and develop a superiority complex when it comes to others. We start to see our weaknesses as strengths and so we fail in what we are doing. Self confidence based on God makes us see ourselves as we really are. We analyse our strengths and use them productively to help ourselves and others. We notice our weaknesses, so we improve them.
And if I can die having brought any light, having exposed any meaningful truth then, all of the credit is due to Allah. Only the mistakes have been mine. Malcolm X
2. Be More Social Becoming more social improves your social skills and emotional intelligence. The ability to love and be loved is a vital need for humans. Therefore, developing your social network helps you understand people more, and at the same time understand yourself. Many people develop social phobias, or suffer from lonliness due to their weak social skills. Being socially active expands your comfort zone, and teaches you the beauty of people. People are amazing, look at them as closed books. Every person you know teaches you new things in life, new experiences.
O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted. Al-hujurat 13
To boost you self-confidence and happiness go out and meet new people, extend your connections. This will not only boost your happiness but will also increase your chances of success in life, as knowing more people will equal more links and hence more opportunities. Having a positive outlook on people and seeing the positive aspects of their characters is the quickest way to befriend them. In order to boost your social skills, do the following: Boost your empathy Listen more than you speak Never show off or treat them with superiority Give when they are in need Genuinely compliment the things you like about them Treat them exactly how you like them to treat you Be truly interested in them
We are all different so accept people as they are. Try not to judge those you dont understand. Accept people as people regardless of their religion, ethnicity, or status. Treat all people equally but at the same time never compromise your beliefs. You need to also be careful with who you socially interact with. Unfortunately there are some people who might influence us negatively by encouraging us to do immoral things. You need to be cautious with those
people by not having close relationships with them, unless you are confident enough you can help them without being influenced negatively. Finally, you need to understand that there are some people who might actually help to decrease your self-confidence; people who disrespect, or degrade you. For those people, if they are not open to halting their offensive ways, the best solution would be to forgive them yet block them out of your life totally unless they are seeking help. You want to build relationships that help you grow as a human. If those people were family members all you can do is speak to them nicely to respect you. If they don't, all you can do is to never take what they say personal or seriously. Hear what they are saying but don't listen to it. We learn from the people we meet, but we do not totally rely on them for our happiness and success. A great way to leave that dependence on the love of the people is through rejecting both the positive and the negative. When I say reject, I mean to leave it there and not allow it to enter inside, not to rely on either type of comment. You dont need praise to feel good, and you dont need disrespect to feel bad. You see, if we leave the compliments that we rely on to make us happy, we wont be upset by the negative comments, because we arent relying on any comments. We are doing us because it is us. If someone comes to you, thanking you, telling you how much you inspired them and changed their life, you say thats great, wonderful to know and hear, youre glad this person has been affected positively but you know that youre just doing you. You dont rely on that or take it to heart. If someone comes to you and tells you how much they dislike what you do, that youre a fake or a hypocritical person, you say that sucks to know you feel that way, but hey, you know youre just doing you. You wont get upset when this happens, because you dont rely on the extrinsic to control your emotions. You leave both the comments; extrinsic is then abandoned for the intrinsic.
That man can have nothing but what he strives for; Holy Quran, An-Najm 39
3. Lifelong Learning Lets assume there is X and Y. Both have a job interview for the first time. X read 5 books on how to deal with job interviews. Y didn't read anything and has no idea what to expect from a job interview. Who do you think will be more confident, X or Y? Most of the time X will be more confident, because most people fear the unknown, and fail because of their lack of knowledge. While X will be sure about what he needs to wear, talk about, behave, and persuade. Y will still be wondering and doubting if he is wearing the right clothes. This is the same with life in its various aspects. If we learn and study about life, we will be confident enough in knowing how to deal with it. We can learn from those who came before us, study their lives and experiences, as well as consider their solutions. So to develop more confidence, you need to learn and read. You must be thirsty for knowledge. If you are a mother who feels sad because your child is not behaving, you need to learn more about parenting. Most of the time it is not the child's but the parents' fault If you are sad because you don't know what career to choose, research and learn about different fields to know what suits you best, to know what you love. If your business is not doing well, learn more about businesses and apply your knowledge. As you are noticing we are going back to the concept of taking Action Now! The first step to create a plan to solve your problems is seeking knowledge. Your self confidence is boosted by learning; not only about events or concepts but to read about great people who impacted their towns, cities, the people around them or even the world at large. These stories and life events can help to inspire and aid you in believing in yourself.
Say, "My Lord, increase me in knowledge." Quran, Taha 114
4. Develop Courage As mentioned earlier the enemy of happiness is your fear. Your fears and doubts put a halt to your growth, and once you stop growing, you endanger your self confidence. Knowing that you are fearless brings immense joy. There should be nothing fearful to you in this world. If you want to do something but held by fear, do it anyway. If you want to study in university but you think its too late, do it anyway. If you are being abused in a relationship but you fear to be lonely, break it anyway. If you love to preach but you fear public speaking, do it anyway. If you want to be a doctor but you think its too hard, do it anyway. In many occasions a lot of people give high value to the opinions people hold. You should follow the advice and opinion of a few people you admire and know for their sincerity and wisdom, but you don't need validation from others to please them. Don't fear appearing inferior, rejected, or mocked. Do what you must do to live happily. Never let anything stop you from doing what you love. It is never too late. As long as God is pleased with it Do it. The best method to develop your courage is by doing what you fear anyway. Close your eyes and storm into it. Take calculated risks daily, expand your comfort zone and every moment of your life becomes a wonderful adventure. Why do you think we are so afraid to take that step, fear of failure? We dont want to risk losing love. Failure will lead to judgement or ridicule. I get it, its all around us. Newspaper articles are always about people who have messed up their lives. People around us are always getting judged, we dont want to be part of that crew, the one that everyone now also sees as losers. So you failed at something, and lost some of your status, so what? Doesnt that show you how shallow it is?
And your Lord says, "Call upon Me; I will respond to you." Quran, Ghafir 60
These failures and mistakes can be used as filters if anything, those people who look at you differently after finding out about your past or because of a grade or anything similar, why would you so badly want to be this persons friend or want them to think highly of you? Why would you want this person, to ultimately define you? Whats wrong with you defining you? There is no need to fear failure. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: Do the thing you fear, and death of fear is certain. There is great wisdom behind this philosophy, it is pointing to private victory, something intrinsic, demanding you to take action and disregard paralysis by analysis. With every failure you will learn something new. Fail. Fail again. Fail again. There is nothing to be paralysed or intimidated by when you are not seeking the love of others but are seeking to improve yourself with every step. In this field, there is nothing to lose and everything to gain. 5. Get Organised: Another technique that will help you boost your self esteem and self confidence is getting organised. Cleaning and organizing your working place, home, and self-hygiene gives you a better outlook onto yourself. Naturally it makes you feel good. Getting organized also means that you create a detailed plan of your life. What you want to achieve, when and how. Later in this book you will get a powerful template to plan every aspect of your life. Part of being organized also is to learn more about time management. The amount of things we can do in every 24 hours is huge. Let us not waste time at all on things that don't bring us any benefit. Let us use every moment to build our lives on this earth and heaven. The difference between happy people and not so happy people is sacrifice; the sacrifice of what you want now for the better you want later. In other words one can miss a good night out with friends, because they have more important work to do. They can sleep fewer hours to study better and achieve more results.
Allah said, "Fear not. Indeed, it is you who are superior. Quran, Taha 68
Making the Difference
One day a man was walking along the beach when he notices a small boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean. Approaching the boy, he asked, 'What are you doing?' The little boy replied, 'I am saving the starfish that have been stranded on the beach. The surf is up and tide is going out and if I don't throw them back, they will die'. The man looked around and noticed that there were miles and miles of beach and literally thousands of starfish. He looked at the beach again and then at the boy and said, 'Well, you won't make much of a difference, will you?' After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the sea. Then looking up the boy smiled and said to the man, 'I made a difference for that one.
6
Contribution is Happiness
You see everything taught in this book before this section, was to prepare you for what you need to do now. The purpose of improving yourself and becoming the Ultimate You is not only to improve your life and be happy, but to have a great ability to make others happy too. The more powerful you become, the more responsibility you will develop towards other people, and as mentioned earlier the more you contribute, the happier you become. When the Holy Prophet (PBUH) was a merchant, he built an unbelievably huge amount of wealth. Do you know what this great man did with his wealth? He gave it up. He gave all his wealth to the poor and needy people of Mecca who were not even Muslims yet. Do you know why he gave it up? There are many reasons, but the main reason is to teach us a secret that only few discover. Giving is an act that will bring you the most intense, immense, and nourishing happiness you can ever experience. The more you give the more satisfied you will become. Social psychologist Elizabeth Dunn proved in her studies that people who give charity experience more happiness than those who spend their money on themselves. At the end of her experiments, she concluded that: Giving once might make a person happy for a day, but if it becomes a way of living, then it could make a lasting difference," - Elizabeth Dunn
When someone gives out of sincere desire to, not because the person feels guilty, or obliged to, when choosing with his/her freewill that 'I truly desire to give', happiness occupies the giver in a way that is remarkable. I am not saying that you should give up everything you have, but give as much as you would like to receive, and when you give, give just for the sake of Allah without wanting anything back, you dont want fame, praise, appreciation, love...etc.
Whoever does righteousness, whether male or female, while he is a believer - We will surely cause him to live a good life... Quran, Al-Nahl 97
Never think that giving will reduce your wealth, or that giving credit to other people's work will reduce your credit, or that spreading knowledge will allow people to overtake your status. Truly, be certain that the more you give, the more Allah will give you. At the same time you cannot give what you lack, if you don't have money you can't give it. If you dont love and appreciate yourself you can't love others. If you don't have knowledge you can't teach others. So in order to be happy, you must have something to give. You can achieve this by empowering yourself with knowledge, wealth, skills, talents or anything that you enjoy doing and are good at. As mentioned earlier you are a masterpiece of Allah. You have great abilities to do the impossible, think of those who travelled to space, ruled the world, uplifted themselves from poverty to prosperity, those who made the impossible possible, whether they did good or bad, were they not humans just like you are? Sometimes we become so accustomed to our comfortable beds and warm houses, we get used to the roof and forget theres a sky outside.. And what is it that He has placed in you? The human potential, something I believe in with all my heart, is unimaginable. We sometimes think of the universe and find ourselves in awe of the thought, the solar systems, the galaxies, the stars; we cant comprehend the infinite space of the universe. Little do we pay attention to ourselves, for this universe that leaves us feeling humble and small, is also within us. It truly is. Open your eyes, and see. You can do anything you want to do, and never let anyone tell you otherwise. Your sickness is within you, though you do not realize, And your cure is within, yet you do not see. You claim that you are nothing but a tiny entity, Yet wrapped up inside of you is the greatest universe. You are the clear book, through whose letters All that is secret is revealed and made known. So you have no need for anything outside of you, Your consciousness is within you, though you do not know. Imam Ali (as)
With a universe inside you, how can you allow someone to put you down, or tell you that you cant do something? Or tell you who you are or the limit of what you can do? How can you tell yourself that? Im not telling you to inflate your ego; Im telling you the opposite. Become nothing, realise you are nothing. In realising how dependant you are on the One that created you, in becoming nothing, you become everything; you embrace the universe inside of you. You are elevated in humility. Im telling you to be confident in your abilities whilst putting your trust in your Creator and in gratitude of this gift you possess; that you have the potential to believe. Theres no I will start tomorrow, or I will try it from Monday. You dont have to do that; there is no starting point, or stopping point, there is only a doing point. You just do, you just be. Im telling you to believe in yourself. Always believe. Live your dreams, without letting your past or future afflictions bring you down. This isnt unrealistic at all, its very real. You just have to believe in it to begin seeing it. Every single moment you live, anything you happen to be doing, every breath you take, cherish it. Believe in yourself, and never let your hope fade. Not anxious hope, or worrying hope, or stressed hope, but hopeful hope. The hope that if you get what you want, Alhamdulillah, and if you dont get what you want, Alhamdulillah. The hope of knowing there is always light in the darkness, the hope of trust in the Beloved. You can make a difference in this world, I promise you, you can, and you dont have to travel the world to do it. Its all from within. If theres anything to take from this, it is to live your real life, your true life. So start making the difference in your life until you are ready, and once ready unleash your powers by helping and giving.
[He] who gives [from] his wealth to purify himself. And not [giving] for anyone who has [done him] a favor to be rewarded. But only seeking the countenance of his Lord, Most High. And he is going to be satisfied. Quran, Al-Layl 18-21
Create a Mission
In order to start making a change you need to create a mission statement for your life, it helps you set a direction on how you are going to make a difference to yourself and the world. No matter how small or big, do it. A mission statement gives you a sense of identity and reason to live for. Mission statement answers the questions of: Why was I really created? How can I contribute? How should I be spending my life? Do the following steps to create your mission. Do this when you are in a relaxed good mood, and don't force it, it can take anything from a few minutes, to an hour, to 2 weeks. Step 1. Start with what you love Every one of us loves to do something; it can be a hobby, career, or a cause youre passionate about. It might be something you felt like you were born for. Remember your childhood activities, alongside what you love doing now. Write them down without judging them, you can write anything from reading, to planning, to bungee jumping, to teaching, to social activism. Every time you write something, ask yourself: Why do I love this thing? Can I please God with it? (As our purpose of existence is to worship God) In what ways can I make a living out of it? Forget about what exists in the market today and focus on what you love to do. Keep writing down what you love doing until you write down the thing that brings tears to your eyes. You can write up to 500 phrases, but once you begin to tear, whether inner tears from your heart or outer tears from your eyes, know that this is what you are meant to be doing.
Then we caused to inherit the Book those We have chosen of Our servants; and a mong them is he who wrongs himself, and among them is he who is moderate, and among them is he who is foremost in good deeds by permission of Allah . That [inheritance] is what is the great bounty. Quran, Fatir 32
So find a way you can make a living out of it, find ways you can utilize it to help other people and please God. Step 2. Make what you love your passion Once you recognize what you love doing most, you need to make it your passion and live it, because doing it to high standards requires you to do exhausting and hard work. Try and interconnect what you love doing with your talents and skills. For example a person might have a public speaking talent, and his passion is Islam so he relates his talent with his passion to become a Muslim Preacher. One man might have a talent in business and his passion is to help the needy so he starts a business to support the needy. Step 3- Write your mission Once you understand what you love. You can write your mission statement. Remember that our mission in life will only end when we die. As long as we are breathing our mission must continue. Do the absolute impossible to achieve. Giving brings the ultimate happiness. Examples of Mission Statements: I spend my life improving and utilizing my business skills to please Allah by supporting the needy. I continuously seek knowledge and learn new things about Islam to help people adopt an empowering and inspiring religious lifestyle. With the power of my words, I make a living by delivering speeches that inspire people worldwide to quit drugs. Using my skills and knowledge in engineering I create products that facilitate an easier life for humanity. My Mission as a housewife is to nourish my family with a positive loving environment, and prepare my children to do wonders of good deeds towards their community.
And whatever good they do - never will it be removed from them. And Allah is Knowing of the righteous. Quran, Ali-Imran 115
There are so many things we can do to reform the world. All we have to do is find what we love and do it in a way that makes us and other people win. This is an amazingly beautiful way towards immense happiness in life. A life mission gives you a purpose and a meaning. It gives you fulfilment like no other thing. If you dont have a higher purpose and a reason to overcome obstacles of life, you would be easily defeated. If you put your family, country, or Islam in your life mission, your work wouldnt be about you only, it would be about many more people than you. Hence the reason to survive and keep fighting is greater.
I but fulfil towards you the duties of my Lord's mission: Sincere is my advice to you, and I know from Allah something that ye know not. Holy Quran, Al-Araaf 62
Plan your life:

Once you have set your life mission, you must make a detailed plan on how you will follow it. This plan gives you the ability to take charge and lead your own life. It makes you grow effectively, and as mentioned earlier personal growth and development is a vital need for every human. Once achieved it brings a lot of satisfaction to your life. Happiness doesn't come from watching T.V. all day, or socializing all day. We must create a balance between these 5 aspects of our lives: 1. Spiritual 2. Career/Mental 3. Social 4. Physical 5. Financial The Holy Prophet (PBUH) was a great example to the balance we are talking about. He was a leader and governor of a big nation, at the same time he was a husband, and spent a lot of time worshipping and socializing. This is the sort of life we should adopt, it seems hard but once we master our time this balance avalanches our lives.
In order to be happy in life, we need to be productive. We should not waste our days doing the same things and being the same people. In order to change our condition as a nation, we need to change ourselves. To be truly satisfied in our lives we need to Grow and Contribute. Note on Goal Setting: As you have set your mission in life, you need to start heading towards goals and achievement in order to complete you mission. In Goal setting its important to set big goals. Many people set their goals too small because they think they can't do any better. However the purpose of setting goals is that you get what you really want, not what you think you can get. So you need to think big and set big goals that will enable you to grow into them. You already know that growth brings satisfaction to life. Furthermore setting goals is a very crucial habit that organizations and successful people develop, because it: 1. Improves clarity and sharpens focus 2. Increases Motivation and confidence 3. Improves performance 4. Improves productivity However only 3% of the people do it. You have probably heard about setting SMART goals. This is true; when you set a goal it is important to pay attention to the following characteristics of an effective goal: S - Specific, significant, stretching M - Measurable, meaningful, motivational A - Attainable, agreed upon, achievable, acceptable, action-oriented R - Relevant, realistic, reasonable, rewarding, results-oriented T - time-bound, time-based, timely, tangible, trackable
And the forerunners, the forerunners - Those are the ones brought near [to Allah ]. In the Gardens of Pleasure. Holy Quran, Al- Waqia 10-12
Many people set their goal as "My Goal is to lose weight". However there is a high probability that they will not achieve it. The SMART Goal of this example should be "By dd/mm/year I lose 10 kg of weight by joining the gym and working out 4 times a week".
This goal when written down will have a much more power impact on your mind to drive you towards achieving that goal. Another bad example: "My goal is to make money". The SMART example: "I make $200000 by DD/MM/YEAR to buy a 2 bedroom house on the coast, because I want to get married, I want to please Allah, I want to raise my standard of living" As you are noticing this goal is specific, measurable, attainable, rewarding, and timely. Finally it is important to set your goal in the present tense, because the mind only acts now. If you say "I will make money" the mind doesn't take any action for it now, but you will fall prey to procrastination. Furthermore you already know that the secret to happiness is Taking Action Now. So you use present tense verbs and commands such as: I make ... I am... I find... I achieve... Note on Setting Visions You will use this section when you are filling the Life Plan Template later on. Your whole life story should start with the end. Vision statements direct you towards why you do what you do. What is the purpose behind all your work in life? Whether you want to refine yourself in terms of discipline, or spirituality, or career-wise, or with seeking knowledge, or financially, or with academic studies, or with physical sports, know WHY you are doing it, and become deep rooted in that worthy sentiment, not allowing yourself to be intimidated by anything in the process. The why is before the how and the what, like the heart is so important in Islam because it is the centre the why acts as the centre of the driving force, the heart of it. Every action is measured by the depth of the sentiment from which it proceeds. Ralph Waldo Emerson
As Muslims of course it is to please Allah, some other Muslims aim for a very high level in Heaven, and some purely for their love of Allah, so they work even harder to accomplish more good deeds. Put yourself and mind into a very relaxed state. Shut all external disturbances, and focus on your inner voice. Close your eyes and breath deeply, and listen to the signals from your soul. While in this state answer the following questions, write every thought that comes to your mind. Where do I really want to be by this Date? What do I really want to achieve throughout my whole existence? What do I want to be known for? Who do I want to become? Think of current people in the world, those who inspire you most, as a beginners template for example.
The Life Plan Template

You have now learnt about the importance of creating a balanced life, and understood how to set your goals. Now you are ready to create a detailed plan in order to achieve fulfilment and happiness in every aspect of your life. To do so you must set goals for your spiritual, social, financial, health, and intellectual aspects. It starts by finding ways to improve every aspect of your life and then setting SMART goals to achieve those improvements. To make things easy for you, we created an easy and straight forward template.
...Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for you hardship... Holy Quran, Al-Baqara 185
Name: Mission:
Date: Field of work: (E.g. Islamic, politics, journalism, physics...etc.):
Write down 3 to 10 big things you would love to HAVE, Do, and Become within the next 20 years, write them down even if you think they are impossible (examples have been included):
Have
A 5 bedroom house 3 children Financial freedom 100000
Do
Travel the world Perform Hajj Get married Build a charitable organization
Become
Faithful to God Honest Rich
...Allah is sufficient for me, there is no god but He; on Him do I rely, and He is the Lord of mighty power. Quran, At-Tawba 129
Spirituality: As Muslims we need to have a spiritual vision, the vision must show you the end of what you are doing and why you are doing it. (Self purification) is a main reason behind the Message of God, and everything we do in life contribute in a way or another towards building a better Muslim character. Spiritual Vision: As a human, as a Muslim, how do you see the best spiritual You in one year? Consider your moral values, good/bad deeds, integrity, courage, wisdom...etc. Example: My spiritual vision in one year is to have a strong relationship with Allah by being empowered with moral attributes and good deeds that get me closer to Allah and Heaven. Write down you Spiritual vision in one year:
Now, set the goals you need to achieve in order to make your vision a reality. You can fill in the blanks and add more goals to reach your vision and add more to it so that it perfectly suits you.
I stop the following bad traits and committing those sins: I develop the following traits and good deeds: I read ____ pages of the Quran daily. I memorize _________ of the Quran by _______(Date) I do______ (amount) thikr daily. I do ______(amount) Nafila daily. I visit (haj/umrah) by ______(Date)
Social Vision: Planning our social life is essential, because there are some people who contribute positively to our lives, while others negatively. The aim of this planning is to surround yourself with people who encourage you, and refrain from those who damage your life. Example: I become an influential social person who develops healthy relationships based on honestly and respect, at the same time I treat people equally like the Prophet PBUH. Furthermore I and they help each other reach our goals. Goals: Write one or more goals for every one of the following: Relationship with your parents:
example: I contact my parents everyday to please Allah and support their needs
Relationship with Husband/Wife: Relationship with Children: Relationship with Relatives:

Example: I check up on my relatives every Friday.
Relationship with Friends: Relationship with your Boss or Employees: To improve my social life I should be careful from (list the types of people who damage you. Examples: Time wasters, liars, arrogant...etc.) To improve my social life I should develop strong relationships with those types of people: (practicing believers in Allah, knowledgeable people. honest people, positive people, people who have an interest in X field of work...etc.)
Health Vision: Your health plays a powerful role in your mood, the more healthy you are the more your brain will support you. Example: My vision is to enjoy a healthy and fit body that enables me to live actively and happily. Goals: 1. Your Weight:
Example: I weigh no more than 70 kg by (date).
2. Food/Drinks: I abstain from eating and drinking the following: 3. I make sure to eat and drink the following: 4. Workout: Example: I workout for 1 hr daily.
5. Illnesses/weaknesses: I make sure to treat the following things in my body: Example: Migraine, acne...etc.
Career/ Work: This section will help you expand and grow in your field of work. As Muslims we must be professional in our work. So we should always improve our skills and knowledge in what we do. Career/Work Vision: Think of where you want to be in 1 year in your work, what kind of business, what position you want to hold, think of how you will contribute to your company or organisation. 1. Skills Development: Career Vision: My vision in one year is to become a master of my field and be able to use my expertise to contribute positively to the world. In the table below, ask yourself what skills are needed in order to become better in your field, and how you can improve those skills. For example a manager needs to possess good communication skills and task delegations. Security personnel need to have the ability to multi task and manage conflicts...etc. List the skills you need to master in order to work more professionally in your career. Skills needed in your field of work How can you develop in (book, course, finding a mentor...etc)
2. Intellect I read ___(amount) of Books monthly
Tip: 50% of your reading should be in your field
Financial Goals: Just like business companies, as individuals it is very beneficial to set our own financial goals, and work towards achieving them. The more money you make the more you are able to give. When it comes to setting financial goals, dont base your goal on your current state now. If you desire to make $100000 a year, and currently you only have $4000, nothing is impossible. You can creatively, with deep thinking, find a way to make this amount of money. A very effective method to set your financial income is to start with how much you wish to give yearly. So ask how much charity I would like to give, and then set your income. Remember that charity will never reduce your wealth, as the Prophet Mohammad PBUH said, and showed. Now Monthly Charity Monthly Income Net Worth Investments Now write down a specific financial plan on how you can achieve your financial goals: Goal in 1 year Goal in 5 years
Summary of all goals: Now summarize all your goals into SMART goal sentences below: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
Make sure you review your list of Goals every day. The best thing to do is to keep this piece of paper with you at all times. After every single prayer take it out and ask Allah to help you achieve your goals in life, while doing so visualize yourself already blessed by achieving them. This way you program your mind to give you enough driving force to be consistent. If you don't review the paper daily, there may be a high chance that you will not be able to achieve them. At the same time if you dont work hard enough, you can never achieve those goals. Hence You will not really get happiness you planned for.
Happiness is Now with Allah (SWT)

After finishing your life plan, you need to understand something that is extremely important. What you made earlier is a plan for the future, and in order to get there you must feel gratitude and happiness now. The only time you can experience happiness is in the NOW. The past has passed, the future is still to come, if youre looking for happiness, you must find it now. Living in the future brings worries; living in the past brings depression. So to find peace you must decide to be happy now regardless of everything that is happening. As long as you have a meal that will help you survive the day, then you have nothing to worry about. You have just made a plan that will fix your entire life from all its aspects. So whatever is bothering you, it has been handled and with the Help of God things will be better. How can you live in the now? Thank and appreciate everything God has given you, go out to a peaceful natural place and experience the amazing feeling of being in the now. Let go of your worries and regrets, and take a walk. Look, smell, see, and touch the magnificent creation of Allah. We were made from clay, hence nature is our mother. When we get back to it, it feels like we have gone back home. Once you start contemplating, pondering, and reflecting over yourself, the world, the stars, and all of creation, you begin to analyse your life and your existence. Many of your questions will be answered, until the most truthful happiness is revealed to you. Look to nature, nature never lies. True happiness happens when you detach your heart from the external world. Whatever you gain in this world, and whatever you lose will have no significant importance to you. Winning and losing will then have the same impact on you, which is happiness. The only thing that matters is how much you grow as a person, as a Muslim, and how much you contribute to the outer world. Be the reason behind people's happiness and you will be the happiest of all people. I slept and dreamed that life was joy, I awoke and saw that life was duty, I acted, and behold duty was joy. -Rabindranath Tagore
Real Happiness Will Never Happen Without Allah

The reason this section was written last is because we tend to remember the things we read last more. Everything you learned before now will never work if Allah wishes them not to. All the information given is nothing but a means to be happy. In reality the One who makes you happy and relieves your pains is God. Allah is One who has no equal, or anything similar. He is powerful beyond measure. Whatever He wills, occurs. So in order to make all the above work you need to do the following: 1. Pray so that Allah blesses you with a happy and content life. 2. Obey Allah in everything you do, in other words fully repent for your sins. I want to stress, we do not worship simply for something in return, or out of fear alone. What makes us different than from a child who does his chores to earn pocket money? Islam isnt this superficial.
Repentance is Happiness
As Muslims we are brought up by our parents with certain moral values. If we fail to live up to those beliefs automatically we will be sad and unhappy with our lives. For example we believe that if we disobey God, we will be punished. So as long as we are disobeying God we will be scared of the punishment. This is why you hear most Muslims say that we need a change. This change they talk about is repentance. Without repentance we live in what psychology calls "Inner Conflict", which means to behave in a way that contradicts your personal values.
Worship is of three kinds: some people worship Allah, because they fear Him so it is the worship of slaves; and a group worships Allah, Blessed and High is He, to seek reward so it is the worship of the merchants; and a group worships Allah, Mighty and Great is He, because of (His) love this is the worship of the free man, and it is the most excellent worship. Prophet Mohammad PBUH
In order to be fully happy according to our Muslim beliefs, we must repent our sins and control our evil emotions and desires (Jihad Alnafs), which is the greatest Jihad. This way we can lead a more peaceful life, and we can be content with the fact that we are doing our best to please Allah, hence we feel peace when hell is mentioned and hopeful when heaven is mentioned. When Allah set our Islamic rules, every action he forbidden us to do, hides behind it sadness and sorrow. So to prevent us from negative emotions He commanded us to repent for our sins and obey His rules. To aid you with repentance, please read the next 40 tips for a true repentance.
50 Tips For The Repenters

Tip 1: Thank God: The First thing you should do is to thank God for granting you the opportunity to repent and did not seize your soul while you were disobeying Him, because this would have been an awful loss. Tip 2: Know that you just came back to life: Piling crimes and sins drains the human soul and eventually causes the heart to die, this makes the human emotionally and spiritually cold. Gradually the sinner jumps from lust, to cheating, to lying, all this happens without feelings of regret. Repentance however happens when your conscience starts to wake up again. Repentance makes you unable to tolerate disobedience, shakes your entire existence from within and encourages you to resurrect from the darkness of sin to the light of obedience. Tip 3: Know that you just made God happy: Ibn Mas'ud narrated that the Prophet said: Indeed, Allah is more happy with the repentance of His slave than a man who stops in a barren, desolate land; with him he has his riding animal. He then goes to sleep. When he wakes up, [he realizes that] his mount is gone. He searches for it until he is on the verge of dying. He then says, I will return to the place wherein I lost it, and I will die there. He went to that place, and he was then overcome by sleep. When he woke up, his mount was [standing] right beside his head: on it was his food, his drink, his provisions, and the things he needed. Allah is more happy with the repentance of his believing slave than the aforementioned man when he finds his mount and his provisions. [al-Bukhaari: 6308 ; Muslim: 2744] Tip 4: Your sins are being replaced with Good ones:
Have you ever imagined a sin that leads to heaven? Those who repent truthfully, not only God will not punish them for their misconduct, but He will transform those mountains of sins into good deeds. Except for those who repent, believe and do righteous work. For them Allah will replace their evil deeds with good. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful. Surah: AlFurqan 70 Tip 5: Know that you are one of those who God loves: ".... Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves." Surah Al-Baqara 222. Tip 6: Stay away from who influence you negatively: Many people especially men like to believe that they are absolutely independent and no one can really affect their decisions and actions. But religion and researches have proved the opposite. In this world there are people who encourage you to be with God, and those who influence you to stay away from him. This can happen directly but most of the time it happens indirectly. Your behaviour is highly dependent on the people you spend your time with, whether they are people you watch on T.V, internet, university, or work. Make sure that you surround yourself with those who remind you of God by just looking at their faces, regardless of their outer appearances and worldly possessions. "And keep yourself patient [by being] with those who call upon their Lord in the morning and the evening, seeking His countenance. And let not your eyes pass beyond them, desiring adornments of the worldly life, and do not obey one whose heart We have made heedless of Our remembrance and who follows his desire and whose affair is ever [in] neglect." Al-Kahf 28. Tip 7: Ask God for assistance. The most difficult part of repenting is finding sufficient determination to not repeat the sin again. The source of all will power comes from God, so invocate and ask God to give you a daily motivation capsule that will enable you to finish your day with full obedience. Tip 8: Live in between fear and hope. Fear is very powerful emotion people have; therefore you should use it as mean to refrain from sin. God Almighty is the source of love and mercy, however his punishment is painful. Over fearing God is unhealthy, but the sufficient amount of it can definitely block you from sinning. Never allow your fear to outbalance your hope. No matter what hoping the best from God is what leads you to love Him. Tip 9: Totally disconnect yourself from sins Get rid of anything that reminds you of the sins you committed before, CD's, films, posters, phone numbers, specific places, clothes.
Tip 10: Always feel that what youre doing is not enough. Never feel satisfied with your good deeds. Strive to do more every day. Tip 11: Its going to be hard in the beginning but stand firm. Change can sometimes be hard in the beginning, however remember that it takes 21 to 40 days to adapt to a new habit, behaviour, or life style. Pain and discomfort will eventually subside. And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out Holy Quran, At-Talaq 2 Tip 12: Religious people are infallible. When you change your environment and become closer to people in the mosques and Islamic work. You might face people who do mistakes and sometimes terrible mistakes, but dont blame religion, as Islam is perfect but people aren't. Tip 13: Unleash your goodness towards your family first. The very first people you should change your behaviour with your family. If you were aggressive or unhelpful towards your parents and siblings, start to recover your relationship with them. Sometimes they might not respond positively in the beginning but with time everything will fixed. Tip 14: Be serious and determined from the beginning. From this very moment take a decision to be determined and serious. Dont allow anything to make you lose focus on your goal. Tip 15: Read the stories of true believers and repenters Make sure your read daily stories about those who repented, great Muslim achievers, and prophets, especially the story of the Prophet Muhammad and his family. Reading those stories daily will inspire and motivate you to keep moving forward. Tip 17: Some people might criticise you, stay firm. When you repent some people might start to criticize you or reject you. If your young and refuse to do what your class mates do. At work when you refuse to allow cheating, your business partners might attack you. When you pray in a public place and everyone looks at you as a mental case. When you want to wear a hijab and your husband tries to stop you. No matter where you are, regardless of the consequences feel the fear and do the halal anyway. Tip 18: Use the internet as a mean to get closer to God. Visit websites that promote and grows your faith. Lectures, books, short films...etc. Tip 19: Practice secret worshipping.
Dedicate some time daily to be alone with God. Forget this world and allow your soul to travel far towards salvation. When you worship alone you will be more faithful and focused, therefore the impact will be multiplied. Tip 20: Make use of your free time for good: If you dont keep yourself busy with good, evil will find a place to fit in your calendar. Manage your time in a way that keeps you busy doing productive things, dont waste one hour of your life doing nothing, but also allow time for you to rest. Tip 21: Know that this world is not worth doing any haram Remember that this world is worthless for those who truely understand its essence. No matter what you gain or lose in this world maintain the same state of mind. Don't base your mood and feelings on worldly gains or losses. The most satisfied people in the world are those who maintain a strong relationship with God who is eternal not on materials which are temporal. Tip 22: Find a mentor If we study the lives of those who really succeed in this life, we will notice that the majority of them had in one way or another, a teacher who guided them and inspired them to reach this state of success. Even in spirituality and Islam it is highly favourable to find a truthful and knowledgably mentor to guide you towards God, you might have numerous questions and concerns, the mentor can be your guidance. Tip 23: Beware of Satan and his Tricks. Satan is extremely patient, shrewd and strategic. You need to learn about his tricks and tactics he uses to deceive people. The most basic advice I can give you, is to just not take the first "innocent" step towards sin. Don't rationalize you actions, because once the first step has been taken it would be hard to abstain from sin. To do so you can watch Episode 2 of the WayToGod series. www.waytogodproject.com Tip 24: Dont ever judge anyone When you start practicing more, pride might enter your heart giving you the feeling of superiority towards other people and Muslims. Sadly some Muslims start to judge others without any logical and rational basis. NEVER call anyone a Kafer, liar, thief...etc. This act can definitely lead to hate among people and can lead the accuser to hell! Tip 24: Be cautious with judging what haram is. Don't make things that are permissible actions forbidden. Tip 25: Learn from your mistakes.
Study exactly what encouraged you commit mistakes in the past (wrong thinking, friends, anger...etc.) and take them as lessons to not fall again in the same or similar mistakes. Tip 26: Your mistakes cannot prevent you from becoming a Great person. Some people mistakenly believe that because of their huge sins, they can't be great believers and achievers. I'd say look at where Hamza was, the uncle of the Prophet (Peace be Upon Him and His Family). Look how he was before and after Islam. Tip 27: Understand what being religious is You can always have fun and enjoy doing things you love, whether it is sports or just hobbies. As long as it is Halal keep doing it. Tip 28: Beware of places of fitnah Don't visit places where sinning becomes easier, for example: beaches, clubs, bars, specific areas known for their immorality. Tip 29: Write your story of repentance. It could be helpful for you and others if you write your journey from disobedience to repentance. Your story can be very inspiring for others and in return you will get rewarded by God for guiding people to Him. Tip 30: Dont call people towards religion before knowing its conditions Call people towards religion and God has rules and conditions. Make sure you study them before you actually speak in the name of religion. Tip 31: Find the right source of knowledge Make sure that you get the Fatwas from the most knowledgably and sincere scholars, in many occasions is not the Imam of your local mosque. Be careful. Tip 32: Know the conditions of Repentance:
Rule 1: Stop wishing and committing your sins. Rule2: Sincerely regret your sins Rule3: Return to God asking for forgiveness Rule 4: Strong intention that you will not commit the sin again.
Tip 33: Live everyday as if its your last. Death is near to everyone on this earth, people die every second. We should never exclude the fact that we might be next. Remembering death diminishes your evil desires and helps you seek materials as means to worship God. Tip 34: Keep God in your mind all the time
Remember God in everything you do, this way your whole life will be orbitted around God. All your thoughts, decisions, actions, and words will be based on what God wants from you. Tip 35: Strive to get married early. A great number of sins are caused by sexual desires. Striving to get married early not only will protect you and enable you to attain chastity, but also it will nourish your life with growth, love, and interdependence with your spouse. Tip 36: Develop a balanced life Create a balance in your life, dont focus on only thing. Give time for Ritual worshiping, friends, family, and work. Also give yourself time daily to do what you enjoy (reading, meditating, sports...etc.) Tip 37: Change your contact details If you are being contacted by people who you used to sin with, change your contact details to prevent evil to reoccur. Tip 38: Be careful from being alone. Be careful from being alone and doing nothing, this may allow evil thought and memories to strike back. Tip 39: Dont go back to your friends calling them to God until youre truly strong Don't try to convince your friends to repent until youre confident that they no longer influence you in any way, it is also recommended to take someone else with you to help you. Tip 40: Visit places that soften the heart. Set this as a yearly goal. Visiting spiritual places like Makkah and holy places is unbelievably helpful for your soul and behaviour. Visit cities where the Prophets of God lived in and feel how amazing it is to actually see the verses of the Quran on the ground. Also visit the graveyard and ill people. Witnessing illness and death soften the heart and recovers the soul from heedlessness.
Conclusion
We would like to use the conclusion to remind all the readers about those people who suffer everyday because of mans greed and injustice. Those people who don't even have the opportunity to read a book about happiness. Let us all grow and prepare for the dream, the dream that one day this world will no longer know grief. In conclusion happiness is a process, we will always be tested with things we like and dislike. The secret to happiness is knowing how to deal with anything life gives us. To summarize what's been taught, in order to live a fulfilling and happy life, you should: 1. Empower yourself with Optimism, Self confidence, and self esteem. 2. Get over your bad emotions by Taking Action Now to solve all your problems. 3. When tested with tragedies, be ready for them before they happen. When they do happen, accept them as blessings from God and then immediately solve them. 4. Contribute positively to the world by Setting Big SMART Goals for your life to make your dreams come true and satisfy your human need of contribution. 5. Create a balance to fulfil all the aspects of your life. 6. Live in the Now and Create a powerful and special relationship with your Creator, Allah, and let every action you do in life be a mean to get closer to Him, because the purpose of our existence is to please and worship Him. You must eradicate your hatred; forgive the wrongs to end the circles of spite and pain in the world. You can end it, you start with yourself. Channel your pain and hurt into good, help the oppressed of the world, fight the oppressor of the world, be it through physical means, through your tongue or through your heart. Rather than fall into self pity, you can use your pain and hurt to do so much good on this Earth. Unlock your potential.
References
1. Brickman P, Coates D, Janoff-Bulman R. Lottery winners and accident victims: is happiness relative? J Pers Soc Psychol. 1978 Aug; 36(8):917-27. (2,4,5,6). Webb, Liggy. How to be happy: How to developing your confidence, resilience, appreciation, and communication can lead to a happier, healthier you. Capstone Publishing. 2012. 3. Anthony, Robbins. Awaken the giant within: How to take immediate control of your mental, emotional, physical, and financial destiny! 1991.
Selected Bibliography
Non- Islamic Sources
This is a selected few books list that contributed to the creation of How To Be Happy.
1. The Eighth Habit, from effectiveness to greatness. Stephen R. Covey. 2. The seven habits of highly effective people, Stephen R. Covey. 3. The Spiritual Secrets of Happiness Health and Success, Andrew C. Walton. 4. Fix your Life with NLP, Alicia Eaton. 5. Never Give Up! Joyce Mayer. 6. The Secret To True Happiness. Joyce Mayer. 7. Mastery, Robert Greene 8. Awaken the Giant within, Anthony Robinson. 9. The 18 Rules of Happiness, Karl Moore. 10. Mindfulness, A Practical Guide. 11. Your Best Life Now, Joel Osteen 12. Battlefield of the mind, Joyce Meyer. 13. Successful NPL, for the results you want. Jeremy Lazrus. 14. Become a Better You, Joel Osteen. 15. How to be Happy, Cara Stein 16. Making Good Habits, Joyce Meyer. 17. 10 Simple solutions for building self esteem. GlennR. Schiraldi, PH.D. 18. The War of Art. Steven Pressfield. 19. How to win friends and influence people. Dale Carnegie. 20. The Power of Now, A guide to spiritual enlightenment. Eckhart Tolle. 21. 2013 Weekly Planning Workbook. Scott Dinsmore. 22. The Mind Map book. Tony Buzan 23. The power of creative intelligence. Tony Buzan
Islamic Sources
Islamic Sources were not included because they are all in Arabic (List of around 50 books on self purification and self development). Most of the books read were written by:
1. Dr. Ibrahim Al-Feqi 2. Sayed Hussein Najib Mohammad
3. Dr. Tareq Al Suwaydan 4. Sh. Aaidh ibn Abdullah al- Qarni 5. Publishings by Al-Maaref institution.
Please visit: www.waytogodproject.com to watch a Free series that will help you achieve self mastery and purify your soul from evil.

How To Be Happy - WayToGod

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Create The Ultimate You .............................................. 11

Contribute To The Happiness of Others ................ 39

Find Happiness Now, with Allah ............................... 55

Conclusion ........................................................................... 63 References & Bibliography .......................................... 64

WayToGod Team & The Author

Materials and Happiness

Islam and Happiness

Create The Ultimate You

Purify Your Thoughts

Successful indeed are the believers Quran, Al-Muminoon 1

Diminish Limiting Beliefs

Get Over Bad Emotions

5. Frustration 6. Disappointment 7. Guilt 8. Inadequacy 9. Overload, overwhelm 10. Loneliness3

Get Over Depression

Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. Ash-Shar 6

How to Deal With Tragedies

1. Expect the best to happen, but be ready for the worst.

2. Take Responsibility to how you feel

3. When it happens, accept it.

Never Despair. Tomorrow will always be better, so I must Act Now!

Boost Your Self Esteem

2. Stop Comparing yourself to others

Boost Your Self Confidence

Say, "My Lord, increase me in knowledge." Quran, Taha 114

Making the Difference

Plan your life:

The Life Plan Template

Date: Field of work: (E.g. Islamic, politics, journalism, physics...etc.):

Relationship with Husband/Wife: Relationship with Children: Relationship with Relatives:

2. Intellect I read ___(amount) of Books monthly

Tip: 50% of your reading should be in your field

Happiness is Now with Allah (SWT)

Real Happiness Will Never Happen Without Allah

50 Tips For The Repenters

1. Dr. Ibrahim Al-Feqi 2. Sayed Hussein Najib Mohammad

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