MM *Edgy and funny (2) *Witty (3) *have a similar past (4) *trustworthy (5) *could see myself

having a good time with after college (6) *Good banter (7) *Have a relationship where we constantly jar back and forth but have an understanding that we do it out of love (8) *Loves football and can appreciate football (10) *honest (11) *trusts me enough to share secrets (12) *feels comfortable around him (13) *same major (14) *play on the same team (15) *loves Jesus Christ (16) *comes from a supporting family (17) *has resilience (18) *passionate in his religious beliefs (19) *doesnt quit (20) _______________________ CB *hates me for no reason (21) *hangs around the school even though he doesnt go here (22) *has no respect for anybody (23) *is a non-rewarding person (24) *constantly talked about me behind my back (25) *swears constantly (26) *not a very good leader (27) *doesnt take responsibilities (28) *disrespectful to authority (29) *never really explained to me why he didnt like me (30) *no one likes him (31) *doesnt like my friends (32) ___________________________________________________

*Can you improve your cognitive flexibility?

-->With age and experience you get older -->by knowing about this theory, you can know about the person centered messages Role Category Questionnaire *Not about the actual terms, doesnt matter what you wrote *What are the categories that we use to define another person? -Not physical traits -Personality and action MY RCQ: 31 *Scored according: -Differentiation -Abstraction -Integration *What happens in the head and then what goes on in the mouth* *Talks about how you mentally organize meaning in your head and what do you do with it -More cognitively complex you are (organizing meaning), (the outcome is. . .) the better you are as a communicator Cognitive Complexity *persons makes sense of the world through systems of personal constructs -Personal constructs: how many mental file drawers are in your mind and are subfolders in the cabinets *Ex: movies are good or bad *Templates for sense-making *Developmental characteristic -is there a point where you plateau? -Can it be whether or not you have a good vocabulary that cognitive complexity can be measured? *A measure of communication IQ *Cognitive complex people do it better -job advancement -parenting *Discipline, developing your child, engaged parent -critics *Insights *more desirable as relational partners: -more effective at comforting and social support**** -better at social skills *Conversational maintain -better at sustaining relationships

-better at conflict resolution *Greater potential to create person-centered messages -primary outcome that helps you with everything else above Person-centered messages *Messages that reflect an awareness of an adaptations to subjective, affective, and relational aspects of the communication contexts -how is this message going to work in this context to this person in this situation -can she adapt the message to create a better message by knowing the needs of that person *Messages which are tailored to fit a specific audience rather than a generalized audience -flows from the ability to take the role of the other *Message production: three-stage process of goals assessed, plans selected, and tactics (actions) enacted -Goals: *Primary: set into motion an ensemble of lower-level cognitive processes that occur in parallel and align with the overall aim represented by the primary goal -Plans: if-when-then implications for future actions *What do we do first? *What if none of these prepackaged plans seem promising? *Are we consciously aware that were engaged in a mental process? *How long does it take for goals to activate procedural records and to assemble them into a message plan? *Can we change the plan in mid conversation? -Actions