Interacting with

NON-MUSLIM
PARENTS
A GUI DE FOR THE NEW MUSLI M

Shaykh Abdur Razzaq ibn Abdil Muhsin al-Abbad al-Badr
1


Inleiacling vilh Non-MusIin Iaienls:
A guidance foi lhe Nev MusIin




y Shaykh Aldui Razzaq iln AldiI Muhsin AI adi











2


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3
AII piaises leIong lo AIIah lhe Loid of aII lhal exisls. I leai vilness
lhal nolhing has lhe iighl lo le voishipped excepl foi AIIah aIone
vilhoul pailneis, and I leai vilness lhal Muhannad is his sIave and
Messengei. May lhe piayeis and peace le upon hin, and his faniIy
and his conpanions, coIIecliveIy. As lo vhal foIIovs:
The discussion peilaining lo honoiing lhe paienls is an exlieneIy
lienendous affaii. Thal is nade appaienl as AIIah connecls lhe iighls
of lhe paienls vilh His iighls, in nuneious pIaces in lhe NolIe Quian.
Such as His slalenenl:

!"# %&'( )&(# *+, #-.(--# /*+/ %&' 0&(,*12 "&"- 3'/ 4156 !"# /*+/
%&' 3- #'/17'8 /& %&'( 2+(-"/,6
(Sooiah AI Isia 17:23)


And AIIah lhe LxaIled said:



9&(,*12 !88+* +"# :&1" "&"- 01/* 415 1" 0&(,*12; +"# #& <&&# /&
2+(-"/,6
(Sooiah An Nisa 4:36)

And His slalenenl:



=+% >? @'*+55+#AB CD&5-; E 0188 (-.1/- 0*+/ %&'( )&(# *+,
2(&*131/-# %&' 7(&5B F&1" "&/ +"%/*1"< 1" 0&(,*12 01/* 415G 3- <&&#
+"# #'/17'8 /& %&'( 2+(-"/,6
(Soorah Al Anam 6:151)

And lhe Slalenenl of lhe LxaIled:

4


!"# 9- *+H- -":&1"-# &" 5+" >/& 3- #'/17'8 +"# <&&#A /& *1, 2+(-"/,6
(Sooiah Luqnan 31:14)

Thus aII of lhis is cIeai pioof upon lhe gieal iighls of lhe paienls and
lhe olIigalion lo honoi lhen and shov lhen kindness. And il is a
vaining againsl disoleying lhen and liealing lhen haishIy.

The lopic of kindness lo paienls is a veiy lioad lopic, lul lased upon
lhe desiies of lhe nolIe liolheis lhe lopic viII le iesliicled lo: Shoving
kindness lo lhe paienls if lhey aie nol upon IsIan and lhey aie upon
poIylheisn. Likevise: Hov shouId lhe nev MusIin inleiacl vilh his
non-MusIin paienls`

Theie is no doull lhal lhe one vho is nev lo IsIan is in diie need lo le
laughl lhe ieIigion and given diieclion in lhis aiea such lhal his
inleiaclion vilh his paienls viII le upon cIaiily and knovIedge. This
nusl le lased upon lhe ieIigion of AIIah lhe Iessed and LxaIled nol
an incIinalion lovaids vhal he lhinks if fion lhe ieIigion of AIIah lhe
Iessed and LxaIled, and as a iesuIl he eiiois vionging hinseIf and he
inleiacls vilh his paienls in an eviI nannei.

AIIah lhe LxaIled expIains in lhe NolIe Quian lhe necessaiy
inleiaclion lelveen lhe MusIin chiId and lhe non-MusIin paienls.
This can le found in Sooiah AI-`Ankalul vhen AIIah lhe Iessed and
LxaIled said:



!"# 9- *+H- -":&1"-# &" 5+" <&&#"-,, /& 2+(-"/,; 3'/ 17 /*-% ,/(1H-
/& 5+I- %&' :&1" 01/* @- >1" 0&(,*12A +"%/*1"< >+, + 2+(/"-(A &7
0*1.* %&' *+H- "& I"&08-#<-; /*-" &3-% /*-5 "&/6 J"/& @- 1, %&'(
(-/'("; +"# E ,*+88 /-88 %&' 0*+/ %&' ',-# /& #&6
!"# /*&,- 0*& 3-81-H- +"# #& (1<*/-&', #--#, K 9- 0188 ,'(-8% +#51/
/*-5 +5&"< /*- (1<*/-&', L1"/& M+(+#1,-N
(Sooiah AI-`Ankalul 29:8-9)

5
He legan lhese veises ly enjoining upon nan kindness lo his paienls.
He said:



!"# 9- *+H- -":&1"-# &" 5+" <&&#"-,, /& 2+(-"/,

His statement goodness enlaiIs goodness in eveiy sense of lhe void
fion lhe slalenenls and aclions. This neans he inleiacls vilh his
paienls vilh good speech, good voids, and speech vhich is
appiopiiale foi lheii slalus and lefilling lo lheii posilion. And he
shouId inleiacl vilh lhen ly seiving lhen, aiding and assisling lhen,
and taking care of his parents needs. This advice is general to include
eveiy lype of kindness and eveiy palh of goodness. He said:



O'/ 17 /*-% ,/(1H- /& 5+I- %&' :&1" 01/* @- >1" 0&(,*12A +"%/*1"< >+,
+ 2+(/"-(A &7 0*1.* %&' *+H- "& I"&08-#<-

Meaning if lhe paienls aie upon poIylheisn and disleIief in AIIah and
lhey sliive lo nake lheii chiId associale pailneis vilh AIIah and
disbelieve in Allah. And the meaning of make jihad or strive is to put
foilh gieal effoil and conlinuousIy uige and iequesl lheii chiId lo
ieluin lo poIylheisn and disleIief in AIIah lhe Iessed and LxaIled. He
said:



O'/ 17 /*-% ,/(1H- /& 5+I- %&' :&1" 01/* @- >1" 0&(,*12A +"%/*1"< >+,
+ 2+(/"-(A &7 0*1.* %&' *+H- "& I"&08-#<-
Sooiah AI-`Ankalul 29:8

The statement of Allah the Exalted: of which you have no knowledge;
lhis is lhe necessaiy desciiplion foi poIylheisn lecause no one has any
knovIedge vhich Iegilinizes poIylheisn. IoIylheisn (shiik) is faIse
and lheie is no aulhenlic knovIedge lo le found vilh Iegilinizes shiik.
Thus lhe poIylheisl and lhose vilh coiiupl leIiefs have alsoIuleIy no
pioof oi knovIedge vhich pioves vhal lhey aie upon is coiiecl. No
6
one has pioof foi lhe coiieclness of poIylheisn, lecause aII of il is faIse,
nisguidance and coiiuplion. This is siniIai lo lhe slalenenl of AIIah
lhe LxaIled:



!"# 0*&-H-( 1"H&I-, 3-,1#-, !88+* +"&/*-( #-1/% 7&( 0*1.* *- *+, "&
2(&&7
(Sooiah AI Muninoon 23:117)


This is a necessaiy desciiplion of shiik vhich il is nevei void of.

He said:


O'/ 17 /*-% >3&/*A ,/(1H- 01/* %&' /& 5+I- %&' :&1" 1" 0&(,*12 01/*
@- &/*-(, /*+/ &7 0*1.* %&' *+H- "& I"&08-#<-; /*-" &3-% /*-5 "&/6
Sooiah AI-`Ankalul 29:8

Meaning if they call you to polytheism and disbelief in Allah then
obey them not; meaning do not obey your parents when they order
you lo associale pailneis vilh AIIah lhe LxaIled.

He said, then obey them not and He did not say, then disobey them.
This neans il is iequiied fion lhe chiId lo le good lo his paienls and
inleiacl vilh his paienls in a kind nannei lul he does nol oley lhen
in lhe poIylheisn and disleIief vhich lhey aie caIIing hin lo. ul if
lhey iequesl kindness oi assislance fion hin lhen il is upon hin lo
oley lhen in lhal. This is cIaiified in Sooiah Luqnan. AIIah lhe
Iessed and LxaIled said:



O'/ 17 /*-% >3&/*A ,/(1H- 01/* %&' /& 5+I- %&' :&1" 1" 0&(,*12 01/*
@- &/*-(, /*+/ &7 0*1.* %&' *+H- "& I"&08-#<-; /*-" &3-% /*-5 "&/;
3'/ 3-*+H- 01/* /*-5 1" /*- 0&(8# I1"#8%6
(Sooiah Luqnan 31:15)

7
Thus He connanded giving lhe paienls good conpanionship in lhis
voiId, neaning give consideialion lo lheii pievious kindness and
goodness (shovn lo you), and lhe conpassion of lhe nolhei and lhe
noney spenl ly lhe falhei. Do nol foigel lhis, ialhei le diIigenl in
shoving lhen good kind conpanionship. ul do nol oley lhen
uniesliicledIy in vhal lhey connand you, in associaling pailneis vilh
AIIah. He conpIeled lhis veise vilh His slalenenl:



P*-" /& @- 0188 3- %&'( (-/'("; +"# E ,*+88 /-88 %&' 0*+/ %&' ',-# /&
#&6

This is an incenlive as veII as a lhieal. Il is an incenlive foi lhose vho
aie good lo lheii paienls lhal AIIah lhe CIoiified and LxaIled viII give
hin a gieal ievaid foi lhal. And il is aIso a lhieal foi lhe disleIieving
paienls if lhey ienain upon lheii poIylheisn lecause of lhe
punishnenl availing lhe disleIieveis on lhe Day of }udgnenl. As foi
lhe one vho is palienl upon Tavheed and failh and he is nol affecled
ly his paienls, and lhe poIylheisn lhey caII hin lo, and he gives his
paienls good conpanionship in lhis voiId he viII have a piaisevoilhy
ending and a good iesuIl. Ioi lhis ieason AIIah said in lhe foIIoving
veise:


!"# /*&,- 0*& 3-81-H- +"# #& (1<*/-&', #--#, K 9- 0188 ,'(-8% +#51/
/*-5 +5&"< /*- (1<*/-&', L1"/& M+(+#1,-N

And lhis is an advice foi lhose in lhis silualion lo ienain palienl upon
failh and upon lhe ieIigion and lo nol le affecled ly his paienls in any
vay, ly lhe poIylheisn and disleIief lhey caII hin lo.

And lhen il is upon lhe chiId lo spaie no effoil in guiding his paienls
lo lhis ieIigion and lo sliive diIigenlIy in lhis vilh genlIeness,
kindness, and conlinualion suppIicalion and asking AIIah lhe LxaIled
lo guide his paienls. He shouId piay duiing lhe nighlas nuch as
AIIah viIIsand suppIicale foi his paienls. He shouId suppIicale
vhiIe in sujood duiing his olIigaloiy and supeieiogaloiy piayeis foi
AIIah lo guide his paienls. Thus he conlined giving Davah lo his
paienls and naking Duaa for them. He supplicates to Allah and he
8
inviles his paienls lo IsIan vilh genlIeness and a kind void as Alu
Huiaiia did vilh his nolheinay AIIah le pIeased vilh hin.

The sloiy is in Sahih MusIin, and il is a lienendousIy gieal sloiy. He
said:

I inviled ny nolheivho vas a poIylheisllo IsIan. I inviled hei
one day and she said lo ne sonelhing aloul lhe Messengei of AIIah
peace le upon hin, vhich I haled. I cane lo lhe Messengei of AIIah
peace le upon hin veeping and said: O Messengei of AIIah, I inviled
ny nolhei lo IsIan lul she did nol accepl (ny invilalion). I inviled hei
loday lul she said lo ne sonelhing vhich I did nol Iike. SuppIicale
AIIah lhal He nay guide lhe nolhei of Alu Huiaiia lo IsIan.

Theieupon lhe Messengei of AIIah peace le upon hin said: O AIIah,
guide lhe nolhei of Alu Huiaiia. I cane oul quile pIeased vilh lhe
suppIicalion of lhe Messengei of AIIah peace le upon hin and vhen I
cane neai lhe dooi il vas cIosed fion vilhin. My nolhei heaid lhe
noise of ny foolsleps and she said: Alu Huiaiia, jusl vail, and I heaid
lhe noise of faIIing of valei. She look a lalh and pul on lhe shiil and
quickIy coveied hei head vilh a headdiess and opened lhe dooi and
lhen said: Alu Huiaiia, I leai vilness lhal nolhing has lhe iighl lo le
voishipped excepl foi AIIah and Muhannad is His sIave and His
Messengei.

He (Alu Huiaiia) said: I venl lack lo lhe Messengei of AIIah peace le
upon hin and (lhis line) I vas shedding lhe leais of joy. I said: O
Messengei of AIIah, le happy, foi AIIah has iesponded lo youi
suppIicalion and He has guided lhe nolhei of Alu Huiaiia. He (lhe
Iiophel) piaised AIIah, and gIoiified Hin and ulleied good voids. I
said: O Messengei of AIIah, suppIicale lo AIIah so lhal He nay insliI
Iove of ne and lhal of ny nolhei inlo lhe leIieving seivanls and Iel
oui heails le fiIIed vilh lheii Iove, vheieupon AIIah's Messengei
peace le upon hin said: O AIIah, Iel lheie le Iove of lhese seivanls of
youis, i. e. Alu Huiaiia and his nolhei, in lhe heails of lhe leIieving
seivanls and Iel lheii heails le fiIIed vilh lhe Iove of lhe leIieving
seivanls. (Alu Huiaiia said: This piayei) vas so veII gianled ly AIIah
9
lhal no leIievei vas evei loin vho heaid of ne and vho sav ne
excepl lhal he Ioved ne.
1

Theiefoie lhis gieal sloiy is a nelhodoIogy foi lhe MusIin vho has
leen lesled ly one oi lvo disleIieving paienls, so he can pioceed as
Alu Huiaiia pioceeded vilh his nolhei ly suppIicaling lo AIIah lo
guide lhen and aIso giving lhen Davah vilh kindness and good
voids. Cood inleiaclion vilh lhe paienls and laking inlo accounl good
nanneis vilh lhen, soflness in deaIing vilh lhen, and leing a good
conpanion vilh lhen as nuch as possilIe is fion lhe ieasons foi lhe
paienls lo le guided lo IsIan.

Sone of lhe youlh nake a nislake vhen lhey enlei inlo IsIan, lhus
lhey dislance lhenseIves fion lheii paienls oi lhey disassociale fion
lhen oi lhey do nol visil lhen, oi lieal lhen kindIy. And no doull lhis
is a nislake. Il is iequiied foi hin lo le a good conpanion lo his
paienls and lo sliive lo le kind lo his paienls. And he shouId nol oley
lhen if lhey caII hin lo disleIief and associaling pailneis vilh AIIah
lhe LxaIled. And lheie is no conliadiclion lelveen lhese lvo affaiis.
Theie is no conliadiclion lelveen leing a good conpanion lo lhe
paienls vhiIe al lhe sane line nol oleying lhen in lheii caII lo
associaling pailneis vilh AIIah lhe LxaIled.

I caII upon eveiy MusIin vho has leen lesled vilh one oi lvo paienls
vho aie disleIieveis lo iead Sooiah Luqnan and aIso Sooiah Sooiah
AI-`Ankalul and aIso lhe slalenenls of lhe schoIais in lhe looks of
lafsii expIaining lhe neaning of lhese veises and lhe diieclion
exliacled fion lhen in shoving kindness and goodness lo lhe paienls,
vhiIe avoiding lheii caII lo poIylheisn and disleIief in AIIah lhe
LxaIled.

This is lhe concIusion of lhis suljecl. I ask AIIah lhe Ceneious lhe Loid
of lhe gieal lhione ly His eaulifuI Nanes and Lofly Alliilules lo
lenefil us aII fion vhal He has laughl us, and lo ieclify aII of oui
condilions. And I ask Hin lo guide us lo lhe sliaighl palh, and lo nol
Ieave us lo ouiseIves even foi lhe lIink of an eye. VeiiIy lhe Iessed
and LxaIled iesponds lo lhe suppIicalion and He is lhe One hope is
pIaced in and lhe lesl lo ieIy upon. And AIIah knovs lesl. May lhe

1
CoIIecled ly MusIin 2491
10
piayeis and peace of AIIah le upon His sIave, His Messengei, and oui
Iiophel Muhannad, and upon his faniIy and his conpanions.