Rishte ki baat chal rahi thi: Ladka clerk hai, 4000 pagar hai + uper se 15,000 kamata hai.

Ladkiwalle:ladki nurse hai, 2500 pagar hain + nicche se 50,000 kamati hai. .. She came at night, explored my body, got on top of me, touched me. She bit, sucked, swallowed & when she was satisfied she left. I was hurt..... Bloody mosquito. . Dr. Kya taklif hai! - patient: sote waqt saas ko leyne mein taqlif Hooti hai. - dr. Aaj se dus din sote waqt saas to nahi saali ko lo. .. HARDWORK=H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K=8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11=98%ONLY. BUT ATTITUDE=A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E=1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5=100%. SO A PERSON WITH RIGHT"ATTITUDE IS ALWAYS A WINNER". .. THIS CAT, IS CAT, A CAT, GOOD CAT, WAY CAT, TO CAT, KEEP CAT, AN CAT, IDIOT CAT, BUSY CAT, FOR CAT, 20 CAT, SECONDS CAT ! NOW READ IT WITHOUT THE WORD CAT !! .. FROM MONDAY TO SUNDAY, JANUARY TO DECEMBER, BIRTH TO DEATH, MY FEELINGS ABOUT YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE. TO ME YOU WERE, ARE AND WILL ALWAYS BE AN.. "IDIOT" ..... .. DEAR GOD, PLEASE MAKE SURE ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO DON'T CARE TO CALL OR SMS ME, LOSE THEIR MOBILE... . U CAN NEVER CHANGE D PAST NOR CONTROL D FUTURE, BUT U CAN CHANGE D MOOD OF D DAY BY TOUCHING SOME 1'S... "PRIVATE ORGAN" - ... THE HEART! - NOW, UR SMILING .. 10 - MESSAGE - RECEIVED - 1 - HI! - 2 - HELLO - 3 - WAZ UP? - 4 HOW - R - U? - 5 - HOPE - U'R - FINE - 6 - KEEP - SMILING - 7 - TAKE CARE - 8 - GOD - BLESS - U - 9 - BE - HAPPY - 10 - KEEP - IN - TOUCH. .. WOULDNTYOUFINDITREALLYANNOYINGIFSOMEONEYOUKNOWSENT UAMESSAGEWITHNOSPACESANDYOUTOOKAGESTOFIGUREITOUTONLY TOREALISETHATITWASMEANTTOIRRITATEYOU. . SS!W ! n SS!W ! - N SS!W ! n SS!W - ! N SS!W ! n - SS!W ! n SS!W ! n SS!W ! GOT CONFUSED? BE SMART THEN... - JUST TURN UR CELL UPSIDE DOWN. (25) .. SOMETIMES U MAY CATCH ME STARING AT U - ITS NT BCUZ U R CUTE........ MY MOM ONCE TOLD ME DAT DEVILS HAV HORNS N TAILS & I M JUS WONDERING WHERZ URS! .. THINK POSITIVE... LOOK AT THE WORLD AS 1 HUGE CHOCOLATE CAKE. IT WOULD NOT BE COMPLETE WITHOUT A FEW SWEETS & NUTS. SWEETS LIKE ME & NUTS LIKE YOU!!! .. HELLO. I AM A SEX VIRUS WHICH HAS ENTERED UR PHONE.

RIGHT NOW I AM IN UR KEYPAD AND HAVING SEX WITH UR FINGURS. AND I KNOW UR ENJOYING IT BECAUSE UR SMILING. .. EK LADKI THI DEEWANI SI, EK LADKE PR WO MARTI THI, CHORI-CHORI, CHUPKE-CHUPKE SMS KIYA KARTI THI, KUCH KAHNA THA SHAYAD USKO, PAR MOBILE KE BILL SE DARTI THI! I - LOOKED - - YOU - UP - - LEFT - - - RIGHT - HERE - EVERYWHERE - (3 LINE GAP) - I MISS U !!! .. A MESSAGE - TO START - YOUR DAY - A PRAYER - TO BLESS - YOUR WAY A WISH - TO LIGHTEN - THE MOMENTS - A CHEER 2 - PERFECT - UR DAY AND A TEXT - TO SAY, - TAKE CARE, - HAVE A - GOOD DAY. .. WHAT DO U CALL APNE KIYA PE PANI FER DENA IN ENGLISH IN 1 WORD .................... - .................... .................... - .................... - ............ FLUSH .. FRIENDS R LIKE MELONS #> - SHALL - I TELL U , WHY ??? - (3LINE GAP) HUNDRED TRY !!! - HI ! MELON ........ .. 2 KISS U IS SOMETHING UNBELIVABLE, 2 LUV U IS SOMETHING PROBABLE, 2 HUG U IS SOMETHING DREAMBLE, 2 LOOK AT U IS SOMETHING ENJOYABLE, BUT 2 MISS U IS SOMETHING UNBERABLE. .. HEART MUST HAV A DESIRE, EYES MUST HAVE A DREAM, LIPS MUST HAV A SONG, SWEETS MUST HAVE CREAM, IF THERE R NIGHTMARES, I MUST HAVE U IN MY DREAM ! .. 1 - MESSAGE - RECEIVED - 1 - CUTE - PERSON - SENT - IT - 1 - MONKEY IS - READING - IT - 1 - MONKEY - IS - ANGRY - 1 - MONKEY - IS - STILL READING - 1 - MONKEY - WIL 4WARD - DIS - MSG - TO - ANODR - MONKEY ! .. ARZ KYA HAI: TAJ MAHAL KYA CHZ HAI, USSE BHI BADI IMARAT BANAUGA, MUMTAJ MAR KE DAFAN HUI THI, MAIN TUJHE JINDA DAFNA DUNGA. .. I"M DEPRESSED... - I"M LONELY... - I"M SAD AND I"M GETTING CRAZY... ALL FOR JUST...2 REASONS... - I"M HERE & U R THERE... - I MISS U .. U R SOMEONE I DON'T WANT TO LOSE... - U R SOMEONE I WON'T FORGET... U R SOMEONE WHO IS SPECIAL TO ME... - U - R - WAT'S - UR - NAME I - FORGOT? .. A SONG...IN UR HEART, - A SMILE ...ON UR FACE, - THAT IS WAT I WISH UR COMING DAY'S... - ...... .. "IN LIFE THERE ARE NO PERFECT MEN OR WOMEN, ONLY PERFECT INTENTIONERS" .. THE BEAUTY OF MORNING ISN'T THE SUNRISE BUT THE THOUGHT OF GOD, GIVING US ANOTHER DAY TO SEE THROUGH LIFE. WISHING U A VERY GOOD MORNING. HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY! .. WORDS - BEGIN - WITH.. - A - B - C

NUMBERS - BEGIN - WITH.. - 1 - 2 - 3 MUSIC - BEGINS - WITH.. - DO - RE - MI BUT - FRNDSHIP - BEGINS - WITH.. - YOU - N - ME!!!!! .. BREAKFAST= CAN'T EAT BCOZ I THINK OF U. - LUNCH= CAN'T EAT BCOZ I THINK OF U - DINNER= CAN'T EAT BCOZ I THINK OF U BEDTIME * CAN'T SLEEP BCOZ..... - I AM SO HUNGRY!:........ .. I COULD FORGET A FACE, FORGET A PLACE, FORGET A NAME, FORGET A GAME, FORGET TO WRITE, COULD FORGET MYSELF - BUT TO FORGET YOU.... - FORGET IT! .. MONEY SAYS SPEND ME NOT, TIME SAYS WASTE ME NOT, FLOWERS SAYS TOUCH ME NOT, STUDY SAYS LEAVE ME NOT, SMS SAYS ERASE ME NOT & I SAY FORGET ME NOT... .. SO MANY QUESTIONS... BUT THE ANSWER ARE SO FEW. ALL I REALLY KNOW IS... - ....................... - I M MISSIN U! .. GAILED: GREAT MIND. - EINSTEIN: GENIUS MIND. NEWTON: EXTRAORDINARY MIND. - BILL GATES: BRILLANT MIND. ME: MASTER MIND. - YOU: NEVER MIND! BAAP NE KAHA GHAR CHHOD DO, MA NE KAHA PARO CHHOD DO, PARO NE KAHA SHARAB CHHOD DO, CHNDRMUKI NE KAHA TIMEPASS KARNA CHHOD DO, EK DIN TUM KAHOGE SMS BHEJNA CHHOD DO. .. HI, WATS UP... LISTEN CAN I GET A PICTURE OF URS?... THE THING IS THAT I HAVE STARTED A NEW HOBBY OF COLLECTING PHOTOGRAPHS OF NATURAL DISASTERS! .. MOBILES CAN B VRY IRITATING, HAV 2 BUY A CARD EVERY NOW & DEN, HAV 2 RECHARGE D BATT.... D LAYED, BUT DERS 1 THING, LUV ABT IT... IT CONNECTS ME 2 U .. COMMON BETWEEN FRONT OF WOMEN AND BACK OF COW.... HEY DON'T CRACK UR MINDS. THE ANS IS THE LETTER "W" .. IF I HAD THE LETTERS "HRT", I CAN ADD "EA" 2 GET A 'HEART', OR I COULD ADD "U" & GET 'HURT , BUT I'D RATHER CHOOSE "U" & GET 'HURT', THEN 2 HAVE A 'HEART' WITHOUT "U" .. NA DUR JAATHI HO, NA PASS AATI HO, KYON TARPATI HO .. IN A YEAR I AM: - 365 DAYS DREAMING OF U - 8760HRS THINKING OF U 31536000SEC TREASURING U - 2 MIN CREATING THIS SMS TO LIE TO 'U'! .. I MISS UR TEXT, - I MISS UR VOICE, - MAY BE BCOZ I HAV NO CHOICE. MISSING U, - MAKES ME BLUE, - THAT BCOZ - *I TREASURE U* .. WHEN NIGHTS ARE LONG AND FRIENDS ARE FEW............. I SIT ALONE AND THINK OF YOU........ WITH A LONELY HEART AND A SILENT TEAR. ALL I WISH IS YOU TO BE HERE.. ..

1 - - _ - 2 - - _ - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - VERY GOOD! TOMORROW WE'LL DO - A-B-C !!!! .. SWEET - COTTON CANDY? NOPE! CHOCOLATE SYRUP? NAH! LEMON C... - HOW BOUT SUGAR? HMMM... NOPE! DARN! STILL CANT FIND ANYTHING AS SWEET AS U! .. TEACHAR: KAL TUM SCHOOL KYUN NAHI AAYE? STUDENT: GIR GAYA THA AUR LAG GAYI. TEACHER: KAHA GIR GAYA AUR KYA LAG GAYI? STUDENT: PALANG PAR GIR GAYA AUR AAKH LAG GAYI. .. A SMILE IS THE LIGHTENING SYSTEM OF THE FACE, COOLING SYSTEM OF HEAD AND HEATING SYSTEM OF HEART, SO KEEP SMILING ALL DAY. HAVE A NICE DAY!! .. A CANDLE MAY MELT AND ITS FIRE MAY DIE, - BUT THE LOVE U'V GIVEN ME WIL STAY A FLAME IN MY.. - ("$") - 'V' HEART .. 4 MARRIAGES - 5 NAMAZs - 6 IDDs - 12 KIDS - 30 ROZAS - 57 SUPPORTING COUNTRIES - 9487 DRUG CASES - 1 LAC TERORIST - 10 LAKH SMUGLRS 20 BILLION US DOLLAR LOAN MAKES ONE PAKISTAN. . TUSI BADE HI GR8 HO, RASGULLE DI PLATE HO, PEPSI DA CR8 HO, ANDE DA OMLETE HO, PER, JOH BHI HO MERE BEST MATE HO. HAPPY HOLI. .. THERE ARE 6 BILLION PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD. I DON'T KNOW WHY I KEEP ON MSGING U. MAYBE BCOZ.. - 5,999,999,999 CAN'T REPLACE... - A SINGLE YOU. .. 5 GR8TST WDS : - IDNTWNA LOSE U - 4 PLEASNT WDS : - I CARE FOR U 3 SWEET WDS : - I MISS U - 2 GR8FUL WDS : - THANK YOU 1 IMPORTNT WD : - YOU .. LAUGH LIKE U'VE NEVER CRIED. PLAY LIKE U'VE NEVER LOST. LOVE LIKE U'VE NEVER BEEN HURT & LIVE LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW. HAVE A "BINDAS DAY" EVERYDAY .. JIN ME BASE JANKI, RUM ME BASE RAM, WHISKY ME BASE VISHNU, DESI ME BASE HANUMAN, KIS-KIS KA TYAG KAREIN, SAB ME BASE BHAGWAN. - CHEERS.... .. HUSBAND ASKS, DO U KNOW THE MEANING OF WIFE. - IT MEANS... - WITHOUT INFORMTION - FIGHTING - EVRYTIME! WIFE ON HEARNG THIS SAYS, IT COULD ALSO MEAN - WITH IDIOT FOR EVER! .. A SMILE IS A WAY OF EXPRESSING LOVE... A WAY OF REVEALING INTERNAL QUALITY... A SMILE IA A FREE GIFT OF NATURE... ABOVE ALL IT BUILDS A DASHING PERSONALITY... .. IF THE DAY COMES WHEN I DIE, AND GO UP IN THE SKY, AS I'M THERE SO FAR, I'LL WRITE UR NAME ON EVERY STAR, SO U LOOK UP AND SEE, HOW MUCH U REALLY MEAN 2 ME. I DO NOT THINK MUCH, I DO NOT THINK OFTEN, BUT WHEN I THINK, I THINK OF YOU! .. SOMEONE SOMEWHERE DREAMS OF UR SMILES & WHILE THINKING OF U THINKS THAT

LIFE IS WORTHWHILE - SO VENEVER U R LONELY REMEMBER ITS TRUE SUM1 SOMEWHERE IS THINKING OF U .. NOBODY TEACHES THE SUN 2 RISE.. A FISH 2 SWIM.. A BIRD 2 FLY.. A PLANT 2 GROW.. A CHILD 2 CRY & NOBODY TEACHES ME 2 REMEMBER U... I JUST DO! ! ...... IF U SNEEZE ONCE, THINK I'M REMEMBERHN U, IF U SNEEZE TWICE THINK I WANNA MEET U, IF U SNEEZE THRICE THINK I'M MISSIN U, SNEEZE FOURTH TIME.. U FOOL DR. IS WAITIN 4 U. . I - SENT - THIS - MESSAGE - ONLY - (2L)(1P) - L - Y - F - O - R ONLY - (2P) - (1L) - U!! - HEHE!! HEHE ..... KA KI KU KO KE - KI KO KA KI KO - KE KI KU KE KE - KU KI KA KU KE KO KA KI KE U HAVE SUCCESSFULLY READ MONKEY'S LANGUAGE NOW COLLECT UR LANGUAGE CERTIFICATE FROM ME. .. JAB JAB TUM ANGDAI LETE HO, DUM HAMARA NIKAL JAATA HAI... .......AE ZAALIMM DEODRANT LAGANE MEIN TUMHARA KYA JAATA HAI !!! . GOD ALLOWS LIFE TO BE ROCKY. HIS CHALLANGE IS NOT TO LET THE ROCKS GRIND YOU INTO DUST BUT TO POLISH YOU TO BECOME A BRILLIANT GEM. STAY PRECIOUS ! . GIVE LAUGH 2 ALL BUT SMILE 2 1, CHEEKS 2 ALL LIPS 2 1, LOVE 2 ALL HEART 2 1, LET EVERY1 LUV U BUT U LUV 1. .. IF I GET UR SMILE, I DNT NEED FLOWERS, IF I GET UR VOICE I DNT NEED MUSIC, IF U SPEAK 2 ME, I DNT NEED ANYBODY ELSE, IF UR MINE, I DNT NEED THE WORLD !!!! .. FRIENDSHIP TEST - CALL - IF - U - LOVE ME - MISSED CALL - IF - U ARE A TRUE FRIEND - TEXT BACK - IF - U - CARE - TEXT A JOKE - IF - U LIKE ME - JUST IGNORE - IF - U - HATE ME? - I'LL WAIT! .. VACANCY: - POST: - TRUE FRIEND - ELIGIBILITY: - LOVING - & - CARING DUTY: - TO - LOVE - EXPRIENCE: - NOT -- REQ. - SALARY: - NEVER ENDING - LOVE - JOINING: - IMMEDIATELY - R U INTERESTED? ..... NO, U SHOULD NOT SAY MOTU NOW TO ME BECAUSE I AM WEAK; NOT STRONG AS U MUST HAVE THOUGHT FOR ME TO BE 'BUT I AM SORRY FOR THAT' I AM ?. .. IF U WANNA KNW HOW MUCH I MISS U, TRY TO CATCH RAINDROPS, THE ONES U CATCH IS HOW MUCH U MISS ME N THE ONES U MISS IS HOW MUCH I MISS U ..... .. ONCE A SARDAR READ ON A WALL,''LIKHNEWALA MAHAAN, PADHNEWALA GADHA,'' SARDAR GOT ANGRY AND WROTE,''LIKHNEWALA GADHA PADHNEWALA MAHAAN''. ...... MONSOON RAIN OR SUMMER HEAT.. U R THE REASON WHY I BREATHE.. TELL ME DEAR WHAT IS SWEET.. IS THAT U OR YOUR HEARTBEAT ! .. DARK WERE THOSE DAYS, WITHOUT YOUR SIGHT.. WHEN I WAS IN DARKNESS, U GAVE ME LIGHT.. YOU GAVE ME STRENGTH 2 MAKE LIFE BRIGHT.. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

.. HOW MUCH IS - 1+1=? - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.ARE YOU LOOKING FOR THE ANSWER?? - SHAME ON YOU. .. THOUSANDS FRNDS I MAKE, MILLION HANDS I SHAKE, MY FRNDS R FEW, ONE OF THEM IS U. .. THIS TIME I'M - SURE AND I'M - GONNA ASK IT... - D - DO - DO U - DO U L - DO U LU - DO U LUV - DO U LUV ME - - DO U LUV MEAT OR U R PURE VEG.... .. Q: WHY DID SARDARJI KEPT THE DOOR OPEN WHILE TAKIN A BATH? A: SO THT NO ONE CAN PEEK THRU KEYHOLE. . EVERY LIFE IN THIS WORLD IS WRITTEN BY GODS OWN HANDS.. THATS WHY I AM THANKFUL COZ AS HE WROTE MY LIFE HE INCLUDED U AS A BEAUTIFUL PART OF IT. . " ALL DESIRABLE THINGS IN LIFE ARE EITHER.. - ILLEGAL, - BANNED, FATTENING, - EXPENSIVE OR - MARRIED TO - SOMEONE ELSE." .. KHIDKI KHULI ZULFEN UDI.... DIL NE KAHA DILDAAR NIKLA, PAR HAI RE MERI PHUTI KISMAT, NAHAYA HUA SARDAR NIKLA. ... BHAGWAN SE PAANI MANGA, SAGAR DIYA; PHOOL MANGA, BAGICHA DIYA; HAWA MANGI, HAWA MAHAL DIYA; PAISA MANGA, TO AAPKA NUMBER DIYA! .. SANTA & BANTA WERE HANGING ON TREE, SUDDENLY SANTA FELL. BANTA ASKED: KU BE THAK GAYA? SANTA ANSWERED: NAHIN PAK GAYA. .. KYA BINDAS HAWA CHAL RELI HAIN, BIRD LOG GANA GA RELI HAIN, SHYANE LOG SMS KAR RELE HAIN, DHAKAN LOG SMS PADH RELE HAIN. -- - --- - ---- - ----- - -----PUCHANA MAT KYA HAI??? DIKHATA NAHI LINE MAR RAHHI HOON....! .. LOVE ONES R THOSE, WHO TOLERATE WITHOUT FRUSTATION, WHO REMEMBER WITHOUT LIMITATIONS & WHO LOVE EVEN WITHOUT COMMUNICATION. . SOMETIMES wI MUST - BE HURT - IN ORDER - TO GROW - FAIL IN ORDER - TO KNOW - LOSE - IN ORDER - TO GAIN - & SVMIT1MIS wI hDvI - TO BE - B R O K E N - SE WE CAN BE WHOLE AGAIN. .. I MAY B GONE.. 4 A MIN, - 4 AN HR, - 4 A DAY, - 4 A MTH. I MAY NT B ABLE 2 ALWYS SAY - GD MORNIN, - GD EVNIN, - GD NYT, BT I'LL ALWAYS B HERE 4 U. .. PLEASE DON'T SEND ME CHEAP MESSAGES COS I AM FROM A RICH FAMILY. WE ARE IN THE IRON AND STEEL BUSINESS, MY BROTHER IRONS AND I STEAL. .. A RUPEE IS EASY TO EARN. A FRIEND IS HARD TO FIND. A RUPEE LOOSES ITS VALUE BUT FRIEND INCREASES ITS WORTH. I LOST A RUPEE WHEN I SMS U BUT I EARNED UR SWEET & LOVING SMILE. ..

WHEN WORDS FAIL, ACTION SPEAKS.. WHERE ACTION FAILS, EYES SPEAK... WHERE EYES FAIL, TEARS SPEAK... & WHERE EVERYTHING FAILS, LOVE SPEAKS.. .. INTRODUCTION IS POSSIBLE ANYTIM, LOVE IS POSSIBLE SOMETIME, MARRIAGE IS POSSIBLE ONETIME, BUT A SWEET FRND LIKE U IS POSSIBLE ONCE IN A LIFETIME .. ONCE, I KNEW U.. OFTEN I MISS U.. ALWAYS, I'LL CARE 4 U.. NEVER WILL I 4GET U COZ I NEVER WANNA LOSE SOME1 AS SPECIAL AS U. .. A yEaR - 365 dAyS dReAmInG... oF yOu, - 8760 Hr ThiNKiNg oF yOu... 525600 MiNs mIsSiNg YoU, - 315360000 mIlLIsEc... jUsT WaNtEd To TeLl YoU hOw MuCh YoU mEaN 2 mE? .. BEWARE ! ANYTIME YOU MAY BE UNDER DIABETIC-ATTACK... SWEET+SWEET=VERY SWEET . BOY: JAANEMAN IS DIL MEIN AAJA... GURL: CHAPPAL UTARU KYA? BOY: YE MANDIR NAHI HAI AISE HE AAJA.... .. ZINDAGI MEIN TEEN CHEEZEN KABHI BHI AA SAKTI HAIN... PAISA - MAUT AUR - ??? - AUR...?? - .................. - ........... - MERA SMS... ... LOVE HAS ONLY ONE LAW, KEEP HAPPY THE PERSON U LOVE. .. U R FULL OF COLGATE (FRESH ENERGY), I ALWAYS BPL (BIV IN D BEST) BUT U R SANSUI (BETR THAN D BEST), THATS Y U R MY BEERS (FRNZ 4EVR). .. I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU!!! CLOSE YOUR - EYES.......1.... ..2......3...... - .4........ YOU - CHEATER, YOU DIDN'T CLOSE YOUR EYES. SO NOTHING FOR U!!! . DO U KNOW WHY SHANKAR & PARVATI COULD NOT LEARN COMPUTER ? ........ BCOZ GANPATI RAN AWAY WITH MOUSE..... .. ELDERLY SAYS DON'T TAKE UR WORRIES TO BED BUT ........EVEN THEN ALL MEN SLEEP WIT THERE WIVES! .. WHAT IS D DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A WATCH ND A GIRL........?? EK BIGADATI HAI TO BAND HO JATI HAI ............DUSRI BIGADATI HAI TO CHALU HO JATI HAI....!! . DHIRUBHAI FROM HEAVEN: "BETA MUKESH KAISA CHAL RAHA HAI APNA RELIANCE". MUKESH: "HELLO KON BOLE RAHE HAI THIK SE SUNAI NAHI DETA. CALL ME ON MY HUTCH MOBILE!" . ALL THE TREES HAVE LYE DOWN B'COZ WILD WIND IS ON THE AGITATION, HE WILL DESTROY THE PEACE, HARMONY & COLOUR OF LIFE & WILL CREATE A NEW BONDAGE OF LYRIC & LIFE. .. ,,@*@,, - ;" . _ . "; - ( _ ) - > < -

,,@*@,, - ;" _ _ "; - ( .__,. ) - > < NOTHING.. JUST WANT TO GIVE U A SWEET SMILE .. LEAVES - DNT - JST - FALL FRM D TREE. - CLOUDS - DNT - JST FORM - IN D SKY. - ANGLES - DNT - JST COME DWN - FRM HEAVEN. & I - DNT - JST - MSG - ANY1 - UNLESS - THY'RE - SPECIAL... .. EVEN THOUGH - WE'RE FAR - AP_RT, - I KNOW - EXACTLY WHERE - U R... IN EVRY - SECOND - OF EVRYDAY UR.. - RIGHT .:#::. - .::#:. HERE ##()""()## - IN MY '#( o, - )#' - HE_RT! "#*#" .. I'VE SEARCHED MY WALLET, I FOUND NOTHIN. I CHECKED MY POCKET, I FOUND FEW COINS. THEN I LOOKED IN MY HRT, I FOUND U; THEN I REALISED HOW RICH I M! .. GOD MADE DAYLIGHT N CALLED IT THE SUN. GOD MADE ENTERTAINMENT N CALLED IT FUN. GOD MADE NIGHTLIGHT N CALLED IT THE MOON. GOD MADE U N CALLED CARTOON! .. HOW DO U CONFUSE AN ARCHAEOLOGIST? SHOW HIM A SANITARY NAPKIN & ASK WHICH PERIOD IT BELONGS TO. .. WHY DO MONKEYS LOVE BANANA.... OOPS I AM SO SORRY ........ - -THATS YOUR PERSONAL MATTER! .. EVERY LIFE IN THIS WORLD HAS BEEN PAINTED BY GOD'S OWN HANDS. THAT"S Y I M THANKFUL B"COS WEN HE PAINTED MY LIFE, HE INCLUDED 1 LOVELY COLOUR, & THAT"S U...... .. WHY IS INDUSTRIAL PRODUCTIVITY SO LOW IN KERALA? BECAUSE 86% OF THE SHIFT TIME IS SPENT ON LIFTING, FOLDING, HOLDING & RE-TYING THE LUNGI. .. KHUD KO KAR BULAND ITNAA... KE HIMALAY KI CHOTI PE JAA PAHUNCHE AUR KHUDA TUMSE PUCHE, ABE GADHE.... AB UTREGA KAISE .. TU CHAND MANGE MEIN CHAND DEDO, TU RAAT MANGE MEIN RAAT DEDO, TU DIL MANGE MEIN DIL DEDO..... ABE BAS, DEPARTMENTAL STORE SAMAJ RAKHA HAIN KYA. .. === SEND THIS GANESH TO 7 PEOPLE GOOD LUCK WILL FOLLOW ("' . ' . '") IMMEDIATELY. WARNING:- DON'T BREAK THIS CHAIN. // ((,, ..... AIRHOSTESS 2 LALOO... SIR R U VEG OR NON VEG? HE SAYS NO I M SAGITARIAN. SHE SAYS NO SIR R U SHAKAHARI OR MANSAHARI? HE SAYS NO I M BIHARI. ...... THERE IS NO RAYMOND'S SHOWROOM IN PAKISTAN.. WHY? BCOZ THERE IS NO "COMPLETE - MAN"..... !!! PLEASE SEND THIS MSG 2 ALL UR SMS FRNDZ, IF U R TRUE INDIAN. ..... THE HAPPIEST PE("._.")PLE DO "T HAVE EVERYTHING IN LIFE. THEY JUST MAKE THE BEST OF EVERYTHING THAT LIFE BRINGS THEIR WAY! STAY HAPPY!

.. TERE BHAI KI BHATIJI KI CHACHI KI SAAS KE BHAI KI BIWI KI SAAS KE PATI KE JAMAI KE POTI KI MAA KI NANAD KA BHAI TERA KYA LAGTA HAI. SOCHO & TEL .. LUV U TILL I STOP BREATHING, NEED U TILL I DIE, DESIRE U TILL EARTH DESIRES SUNLIGHT, MISS U TILL MY SOUL DEPARTS FOR HEAVEN. .. TEACHER- TUM JAB HASTE HO TO PATA CHALTA HAI KI INSAAN PEHLE BANDAR THA. STUDENT- AAP JAB GUSSA HOTE HO TO LAGTA HAI INSAAN AAJ BHI BANDER HAI. ..... I CANT FIND A REASON Y GOD GAVE U 2 ME, BUT THAT'S NOT THE QUESTION TO BE ASKED .. MAYBE THE QUESTION IS: HOW DID GOD KNOW THAT I NEEDED TROUBLE IN MY LIFE ! ...... LALU WAS DOING TOILET BEHIND CAR. BUSH CAME & SAYS 'AAP KE YEHA POLICE NAHI PAKARTE'. LALU REPLIES 'NAHI, HAMARE YAHA KHUD HI PAKARTE HAI'. ...... HIjanu.dilCHAHTAhaiREHNAtereDILme..kyaBOLTAukasamkikasamterehaihum ETUMSEHOGAYAHAIPYARKYAKARENBOLOTOJEYEBOLOTOMARJAYE. SORISORIGALTIHOGAYEABTUMINSAFKAROPUCH.. ...... HOTHO SE JO CHU LIYA, EHSAAS AB TAK HAI, ANKHEN NARM HAI AUR SAANSON ME AAG AB TAK HAI. AUR KYO NA HO.............. - ..KHAYI BHI TO MIRCHI THI!! .. DEAN - ANYBODY CAUGHT GOING 2 LADIES HOSTEL WILL BE FINED RS.400 1ST TIME, 700 2ND TIME & 1000 3RD TIME. STUDENT - HOW MUCH 4 A SEASON PASS? .. ERASE ALL YOUR WORRIES IN LIFE, SAVE THE MOMENTS WHEN U R LOVED, DIVERT YOUR WORRIES TO GOD, LOAD YOUR HOPES IN HIM & WAIT 4 HIS CALL. .. WHATS THE SIMILARITY BTWEN A KISS, A CAR & A MONKEY?? A KISS IS SO DEAR, A CAR IS TOO DEAR & THE MONKEY IS U - DEAR!!!!!!!!! . U KNOW Y GOD CREATED GAP BETWEEN FINGERS? SO THAT SOME DAY THE 1 WHO IS MADE FOR U, COMES & FILLS THOSE GAPS BY HOLDING UR HAND 4EVER. .. WHEN U TOUCH TO FEEL , ITS DESIRE !! WHEN U TOUCH AND DON'T FEEL , ITS IGNORANCE !!! WHEN U DON'T TOUCH AND FEEL , ITS LOVE !!! .. 5 GREAT PEOPLE 1.GANDHI JI - WOTO AB RAHE NAHI - 2.BAJPAI - WO KISI - KAM KE NAHI 3.ASHWARIYA - APNI PAHOCH KE - BAHAR HAI - BAKI RAHE AAP AUR HUM. .. NEVER WALK AWAY FROM TRUE FRIENDSHIP. WHEN YOU SEE SOME FAULTS, BE PATIENT AND REALIZE THAT NOBODY IS PERFECT. I AM NOT PERFECT, BUT I CAN ALWAYS BE A REAL FRIEND. HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY .. I'D LUV 2 TAKE U 4 DINNER, MAKE U SIT BESIDE THE CANDLE, SHOWER U WITH ROSES AND UTTER THOSE 3 MAGICAL WORDS IN UR EAR - "PAY THE BILL "! .. FRIENDSHIP BONDS 2 HEARTS TOGETHER, LETS HOPE IT CONTINUES TO STRIVE FOREVER. HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY

.. KHUDA KARE TERA MOBILE KHO JAE, MILE MUZE AUR MERA HOJAE, SMS KARU LADKIO KO, NAAM TERA AAE, MAAR TUZE PADE AUR KALEJA MERA THANDA HO JAE. HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY. .. * (>,,,,<) - * - * ( . . ) - * * - ----(,,)o(,,)--- -JUST WANNA TAKE A LOOK AT YOU! SEE IF UR - SAFE & - OKEY.... GOOD NIGHT ! . LALLU, RABRI, JAYALALITHA, MAMTA, MAYAWATI WERE SAILING IN A BOAT. IF IT SINKS WHO WILL SURVIVE? GUESS!!!! "INDIA" .. FRENDS R LIKE SHOES, SOM LOOSE N SOME TITE & SOM FIL JUS RITE. THEY HELP U AS U WALK THRU LIFE, THANKZ 4 BEING MY SIZE: HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY! .. 3 - GLANCES = 1 SMILE, - 3 - SMILES = 1 MEETIN, - 3 - MEETINGS = 1 KISS, - 3 - KISSZ = 1 PROPOSAL, - 3 - PROPOSAL = 1 MARRIAGE & DAT 1 MARRIAGE = 3 WORDS i.e. ISKI TO GAYI. . TARASTE HUE USKE HAATHON NE MERI KALAI KO CHHUA HAI.... JAISE USKI HAR SAANS POOCHH RAHI HO.......... BHAIYA - TIME KYA HUA HAI? .. THE MAN WHO MADE THE ALPHABETS WAS A GENIOUS BUT HE DID ONE BIG MISTAKE BY KIPING 'U' & 'I' SO FAR. .. MAIN HU YAHA TU HAI WAHA, MAIN HU YAHA TU HAI WAHA, LIFEBOY HAI JAHA TANDARUSTI HAI WAHA. .. RECEIVE MY SIMPLE GIFT OF 'GOOD MORNING' WRAPPED WITH SINERITY, TIED WITH CARE AND SEALED WITH A PRAYER, TO KEEP U SAFE & HAPPY ALL DAY LONG! TAKE CARE! .. I CHASE LOVE, I FOUND FRIENDSHIP, I CHASE DESIRE, I FOUND HOPE, I CHASE DREAM, I FOUND REALITY, I CHASE MONKEY, I FOUND YOU. .. I SAW U & A DONKEY SITTING ON A FENCE. THERE WAS NO DIFFERENCE EXCEPT THAT DONKEY HAD MORE SENCE!! .. UNKI GALI SE HUM NIKLE AJEEB ITEFAQ THA, PHOOL TO UNHONE FEKA LEKIN... GAMLA BHI SAATH THA.!! .. WHAT'S THE SIMILARITY BETWEEN AN INTELLIGENT, SARDAR & A DINOSAURUS?...... .............. - BOTH ARE EXTINCT!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ... AAPNE PYAR KA BADLA DEKHO KAISE LUNGA, TERI BAAP KO CTRL + ALT + DELETE KAR DUNGA. .. SOMEDAY YOU'LL 4GER ABT ME, ...MY NAME, ...MY VOICE, WHO I AM 2 YOU... BUT EVEN IF YOU 4GET ABT ME, I JUST WAN U TO KNOW... I'LL NEVER 4GET YOU? .. ONCE A WOMAN SAID 2 A SARDAR - WILL U MARRY ME. HE REPLIED - NO, IN MY FAMILY ONLY RELATIVE MARRIAGE IS ALLOWED. EXAMPLE BHABHI WEDS BHAIYA.

.. SARDARJI ZEBRA CROSSING KE BLACK N WHITE PATTE PAR BAR BAR IDHAR UDHAR CHALTE THE. WO KYA SOCH RAHE HONGE? THINK.. SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI? .. SARDARJI IS VERY UPSET BCOZ HE CUD NOT UNDERSTAND HOW HIS SIS HAD 2 BROTHERS & HE HAD ONLY ONE. (BOLO TARA RA RA) .. FIRST OF FIRST IS FIRST OF U, THEN THERE R ZEROS TWO, FIRST OF LAST IS LAST OF U. NOW TELL ME WAT R U?? A F-O-O-L .. SO SWEET IS UR SMILE...... SO SWEET IS UR LIP..... SO SWEET IS UR VOICE....... SO SWEET IS UR EYE..... SEE HOW SWEETLY I LIE! .. THE WORD "HELLO" MEANS = H:HOW R U? E:EVERYTHING ALL RITE? L:LIKE 2 HEAR 4RM U? L:LOVE 2 C U SOON? O:OBVIOUSLY, I MISS U! !!END!! .. ONE NIGHT D MOON SAID TO ME "IF UR LOVE MAKES U CRY, WHY DONT U LEAVE UR LOVER", I LOOKED BACK AT D MOON ND SAID, "MOON, WOULD U EVER LEAVE UR SKY!!!!" .. 1-4-3 IS NUMERICALLY SAYING "I MISS YOU" BUT! WAT IF I ASK U - 2-3-4-2-3 SAME AS "DO YOU MISS ME TOO?" HOPE U ANSWR ME 4-1-3 "MISS U TOO" .. LOVE IN - PAKISTAN, - ROMANCE IN - AFGHANISTAN, MARRIAGE IN - RAJASTHAN BUT DONT INCREASE POPULATION IN HINDUSTAN, B'COZ THERE IS NO PLACE IN KABRISTAN. .. DID U EVER WALK INTO A ROOM & FORGET WHY U WALKED IN? I THINK THAT'S HOW DOGS SPEND THEIR LIVES. .. I LOVE DEFENSELESS ANIMALS, ESPECIALLY IN A GOOD GRAVY. .. WEN EVERYTHING'S COMING UR WAY, YOU'RE IN THE WRONG LANE. .. AMBITION IS A POOR EXCUSE FOR NOT HAVING ENOUGH SENSE 2 BE LAZY. .. THE BRAIN IS A WONDERFUL ORGAN. IT STARTS WORKING THE MOMENT U GET UP IN THE MORNING & DOES NOT STOP UNTIL U GET INTO THE OFFICE. .. PUTRA: PITAJI, RAWAN KON THA? PITA: ARAY, ITNA BHI NAHI MALUM, JA ALMARI SE MAHABHARAT NIKAL LA, ABHI BATATA HU... .. WHICH LETTER OF THE ALPHABET IS LIKE A PIG'S TAIL? "K" - IT'S FOUND AT THE END OF PORK. .. FALLING IN LOVE IS A SWEET AMBITION, FINDING TRUE LOVE IS LIFE TIME MISSION. TAKE MY WORD, FOLLOW THE INDIAN TRADITION & MARRY UR DAD'D UGLY DECISSION! JUST A JOKE! .. A LOVELY, BRILLIANT, WONDERFUL THOUGHT JUST OCCURED TO ME.......... YOU ..

ATTENTION! DUE TO THE YEAR OF THE HORSE, ALL TURF CLUB HORSES ARE ON LEAVE, DONKEYS WILL RUN INSTEAD. SO STOP READING THIS SMS & REPORT FOR DUTY. .. LIFE IS A MIXTURE OF SUNSHINE + RAIN, LAUGHTER + PLEASURE, TEARDROPS + PAIN. SO WHEN CLOUDS HIDE THE SUN & UR SKIES TURN GREY, REMEMBER I'M JUST AN SMS AWAY! .. I'M MISSING U SO MUCH & DYING TO SEE U BUT THIS SECURITY GUARD AT THE ZOO IS NOT LETTING ME IN WITHOUT A TICKET .. AS A PERSON U R... I-INTELLIGENT, D-DASHING, I-IMPRESSIVE, O-OPTIMISTIC, T-TALENTED, IN SHORT U R N 'IDIOT', GOT IT. .. I AM GETTING MARRIED NEXT WEEK. THERE WILL BE A SMALL PARTY AND ONLY A FEW PEOPLE WILL BE INVITED. DONT BRING ANY GIFTS. JUDT BRING SOMEONE LIKE U! .. DO YOU KNOW THE SIMILARITY BETWEEN A RAINBOW AND AN INDIAN POLICEMAN? WELL, BOTH APPEAR AFTER THE STORM HAS ABATED. .. AARE O SAMBHA.. - MERE KITNE SMS MILE? - BAHUT SARE, AUR TUMNE KITNE SMS BHEJE? - EK BHI NAHI ! HAAAK THU. - AB TAK BAHUT SMS KHAYE, - AB GOLI KHA, - DHICHAON .. b1:OGP DEMANDS SETTING UP OF OIL PLANT - b2:FIIs NET OUR CHASES IN EQUITIES - b3:INDIAN EXPORTS TO CHINA ZOOM - b4:BAIJAL CALLS FOR CONCENTRATION ON GROWTH - b5:RESIDUAL VSNL, CMC SELL-OFF BY JAN'4. . IN RESTAURANT 1 SARDARJI WAS CONSTANTLY GOIN IN N OUT OF TOILET. MAN NXT 2 HIM: KYA AAPKO CHAIN NAHI HAI? SARDRJI: CHAIN TO HAI PAR KHULTI NAI. .. DO U KNOW WHO WIL ALWAYS B DER 4 U WENEVER U NEED A FRIEND? - ___ ___ _____ - l V l - ___l - l - SANJU __l - l__l__l _l_____l .. _i_ - _,-':::^=._/^_ - ^____________/ - (TITANIC) - ALTHOUGH IT WAS A BIG SHIP BUT IT SUNK, SO THE BEST SHIP IS STILL FRIENDSHIP .. NO MATTER HOW HIGH THE SKY IS, HOW DEEP E OCEAN IS, HOW STRONG E WIND IS, HOW WIDE THE RIVER IS, I JUST WANNA TELL - U... THEY R NONE OF UR BISINESS! . :"": :"": - ("(" - : :,,,,: : - o",) : :""": : - ?L,,)/" - :,,: :,,: E - L L O WITH THIS WARM HELLO, I JUST WANT TO WISH YOU A NICE & LOVELY MORNING. .$.. .. ITNA KHUBSURAT KAISE MUSKURA LETE HO.. ITNA QATIL KAISE SHARMA LETE HO.. KITNI AASANI SE JAAN LE LETE HO.. - - KISI NE SIKHAYA HAI YA BACHPAN SE HI CHALU HO!

.. IF U LUV SOMEONE LET IT GO, IF IT COMES BACK TO U, ITS YOUR'S, IF NOT, IT NEVER WAS. .. BEFORE MARRIAGE- MAD FOR EACH OTHER, AFTER MARRIAGE- MADE FOR EACH OTHER & IN THE FUTURE- MAD BECAUSE OF EACH OTHER! .. MY PHONE LOVES IT WHEN U SMS: ITS LITTLE FACE LIGHTS UP, BURSTS INTO BEEPS & HAS UR NAME WRITTEN ALL OVER IT. I THINK U SHOULD SMS MORE OFTEN, I THINK IT LIKES U! .. DO ME A FAVOR, PUT UR RT HAND ON UR LEFT SHOULDER, UR LEFT HAND ON UR RT SHOULDER. NOW MY WORK IS DONE.... I HAVE SMSED U A BIG WARM HUG! .. HAPINESS KEEP U SWEET, TRIALS MAKE U STRONG, SORROWS KEEP U HUMAN, FAILURES KEEP U HUMBLE, SUCCESS KEEPS U GLOWING & GOD KEEPS U GOING!!! .. 1-MIN - 1-HR. - 1-DAY - 1-WEEK - 1-YR - NO MATTER - HOW LONG I'LL TREASURE THE TIME WE BECAME - FRIENDS... HOPE WE REMAIN IN TOUCH. .. GREAT PEOPLE TALK ABOUT IDEAS, AVERAGE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THINGS, SMALL PEOPLE TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE AND LEGENDS NEVER TALK..... THEY SEND SMS!! .. 2 SARDAR GOES FOR A MOVIE 9 2 12 BUT COMES OUT AT 10 COZ THE NAME OF THE MOVIE WAS 'DASTAK' .. U R UNDER ARREST 4 BEING WHAT U R, ITS ILLEGAL 2B SO SWEET & FRIENDLY AS U R. SO I HEREBY SENTENCE U 2 A LIFETIME INPRISONMENT IN MY HEART. .. EK TUM HO KI KITNA ACHE HO, EK TUM HO KI KITNE PYARE HO, EK TUM HO KI KITNE SUNDAR HO, EK TUM HO KI KITNE SACHE HO, EK HUM HAI KI JHOOTH PE JHOOTH BOLE JA RAHE HAI. .. ALLAH SE SCOOTER MANGA CAR DIYA, GHAR MANGA BUNGALOW DIYA, DOST MANGA TO TUMHE DIYA; HAI ALLAH, IS BAAR AISA JULM KYU KIYA? .. WHAT ARE THE THREE FASTEST WAYS OF COMMUNICAION? TELEPHONE, TELEVISION, TELL-A-WOMAN!!! .. WHEN THER IS A DARK CLOUD IN THE SKY, WHEN THER IS A TEAR IN UR EYE, REMEMBR THER IS UR FRND ON EARTH, WHO WUD RATHER DIE THAN C U CRY. .. DAYS ARE TOO - BUSY.. - HOURS ARE TOO - FEW.. - SECONDS ARE TOO FAST.. - BUT THERE IS ALWAYS A TIME FOR ME TO ASK.. "HOW ARE U?" - N HOPE UR FINE. TAKE CARE. . A SMILE IS A LANGUAGE EVERYBODY UNDERSTANDS. IT COSTS NOTHING BUT CREATES MUCH. IT HAPPENS FAST BUT ITS MEMORY LASTS 4EVER! SO KEEP SMILING, :-) ... B1:SENSEX BOUNCES BACK, POSTS SLIM GAINS, B2:NFL SELL OFF RECEIVES FRESH JOLT, B3:INDIRECT TAX COLLECTION UP 7%,

B4:AGRI MOST CONTENTIOUS ISSUE AT WTO, B5:CHINA IMPORT NORMS WORRY TATA STEEL, B6:UTI EMPLOYEES PROTEST AGAINST VRS SCHEME. . HEARTS COULD ONLY LOVE 4 WHILE, U CAN PUT MANY RELATIONS IN A FILE, U CAN MAKE A DESERT FRM THE NILE, BUT U CNT STOP UR SMILE, WHEN U SEE MY NAME ON UR MOBILE. . INBOX - OUTBOX - WRITE - MESSAGES - PICTURE - MESSAGES ,@@ ("v") - ( ", ) "v" - ((")(") I MISS YOU Y=Y=Y=Y=Y=Y=Y - ERASE - MESSAGE? - TRY IT, I"LL KILL U! . A WIFE IS SWEET WHEN SHE IS NEW. BUT SHE IS SWEETER WHEN SHE IS TRUE. BUT U KNOW WHAT? SHE IS D SWEETEST WHEN SHE IS SOMEBODY ELSE'S WIFE. .. TO UNDERSTAND A MISUNDRSTANDING IS AN UNDERSTANDING IN FRIENDSHIP BUT TO HAVE NO MISUNDRSTANDING IS THE MOST UNDERSTOOD FRIENDSHIP... STAR HAS FIVE END, SQUARE HAS FOUR END, TRIANGLE HAS THREE END, LINE HAS TWO END, LIFE HAS ONE END BUT OUR FRIENDSHIP HAS NO END. .. LIFE IS A STATION. LOVE IS A OCCUPATION. MARRIAGE IS A DESTINATION. SO HELL WITH EDUCATION..... . THE PERFECT GIFT 4 U 2DAY: ABSOLUTE NO COST, NO BATTERIES REQUIRED, NON-TAXABLE, SILENT PERFOMANCE, XTREMLY PERSONAL, FULLY RETURNABLE, IT'S A ---- MUUAAH! .. WAR AND LOVE: BOTH HAVE FEAR, WAR SHED BLOOD & LOVE SHEDS TEAR, WAR HAS ARROWS & LOVE HAS DARTS, WAR BREAK HEADS & LOVE BREAK HEARTS. .. BACHLORS SCHEDULE....! MONDAY KO DOSTI, TUES KO PYAR, WED KO SHADI, THURS KO BARBADI, FRI KO FIGHTING, SAT KO TALAQ, SUN KO REST, MON KO PHIR DOSTI. .. CHAIWALA: BHOLI SI SURAT, AANKHON ME MASTI, DOOR KHADI SHARMAYE -HAY -HAYE. LADKI: KALI SI SURAT, HATHO ME KITLI, DOOR KHADA CHILLAYE -CHAY -CHAYE. .. A FRIEND IS: A PUSH WHEN U R STOPPED, A GUIDE WHEN U R SEARCHING, A SONG WHEN U R GLAD, A WORD WHEN U R LONELY, A SMILE WHEN U R SAD. YES I AM INTERESTED. .. JISE SAMJA LEHAR PEPSI WOH NILKI ZEHAR PEPSI, JISE SAMJA COCA COLA WOH NIKLA DHOKA COLA, IS LIYE AAJ KE BAAD NO SOFT DRINK, ONLY WINE & WISKEY. .. LVE IS LKE A BIRD, IF U HOLD IT TIGHTLY IT DIES, IF U HOLD IT SLIGHTLY IT FLIES, PLZ TAKE GUD CRE OF IT. DNT LVE1 DNT LVE2 BUT LVE D1 WHO LVEZ U. .. IF I NEED BRAIN TRANSPLANTATION I WILL PREFFER YR BRAIN, DONT THINK U R GENIOUS. I WANTED A BRAIN WHICH IS NEVER USED BEFORE !!! ..

A DAKU ENTERED IN A SARDAR'S HOME. DAKU... "BOL, SONA KAHA HAI"? SARDAR... "OYE, PURA GHAR KHALI HAI, JAHA CHAHE VAHA SO JA". . GIVE LAUGH 2 ALL BUT SMILE 2 ONE, GIVE CHEEKS 2 ALL BUT LIPS 2 ONE, GIVE LUV 2 ALL BUT HEART 2 ONE, LET EVERYONE LOVE U BUT U LUV 1. . MAKAN MAALIK:- 500 KIRAYA HOGA GRAHAK:- THIK HAI PAR AAPKE MAKAN MEIN CHUHE NAACH RAHE HAI. MAKAN MAALIK:- TO 500 MEIN KYA MADHURI NACHEGI. . VALUE EACH PRECIOUS MOMENT. MORNING BRINGS HOPE. AFTERNOON BRINGS FAITH. EVENING BRINGS PEACE AND NIGHT BRINGS REST. WISH YOU FIND THEM ALL TODAY. HAVE A GREAT DAY. . ABC: ALWAYS BE CAREFUL, DEF: DONT EVER FORGET (ME) JKLM: JUST KEEP LOVING ME NOPQRSTUVW: NO OTHER PERSON QUITE RIGHT SHALL TREAT U VERY WELL. URS XYZ. . TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR, HOW I WONDER WHAT U R? IF U KNOW WHO U R, MENTAL HOSPITAL IS NOT SO FAR. . HINDUSTAN MEIN TEEN HI CHEEZ HI POPULAR HAI. APUN.APUN KA STYLEAPUN KA SMS . I ASKED GOD TO BE WITH YOU TODAY AND SEND HIS BLESSINGS ALONG UR WAY! GOOD MORNING . PULSAR DL-3C-8238, PEGARO DL-2C-1122 SONATA MH-2K-7552 MERCEDES UA-07-7500 VERSA JK-5P-8949 YE MERI UN GADIYO KE NO HAI JINKI AAJ TUMHE SAFAI KARNI HAI . LET THE FLAMES OF DIYAS LIGHT UP UR INNER SOUL AND LIFE TODAY. WISHING U AND UR FAMILY A HAPPY DIWALI. . DHANLAXMI, DHANYALAXMI, DHAIRYALAXMI, SHOURYALAXMI, VIDYALAXMI, KARYALAXMI, VIJYALAXMI, RAJLAXMI. MAY LAXMI SHOWER HER BLESSINGS ON YOU. HAPPY SUBHA DEEPAWALI. . JUGMUG KARTI ANDHERA HARTI VAIBHAV BHARTI,

AAYE DIWALI, APNO KA SAATH GANESH KA MATH LAXMI KA HAATH, LAAYE DIWALI, DEEPON WALI, HAPPY DIWALI !!! . AAPKO AASHIRWAD MILE BADON SE, SAHYOG MILE CHOTON SE, KHUSIAN MILE JAG SE, PYAR MILE SAB SE, DAULAT MILE RAB SE, YAHI DUA HAI IS DIL SE. HAPPY DIWALI. . MuM: Have you brought the matches home? Son: Yes! Mum: Are they working??? Son: Yes! I have try up all the fire matches... It's working. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't get on well in life until you let go of past failures and heartaches. It's true that we don't know what we've got until it's gone, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Be MorE Concerned AbouT YouR CharacteR ThaN YouR ReputationN BecausE YouR CharacteR Is WhO YoU ArE AnD YoU ReputaioN Is WhaT OtherS ThinK Of YoU!!! Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happend. It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it. When u were born, u were crying and everyone round u was smiling.. Live ur life so that when u die, u're the one who is smiling and everyone round u is crying.. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everyting... they just make the most of everything that comes along their way... When you are feeling stressed and about to breakdown, just remember: STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backwards.. it's a piece of cake! If someone comes into your life and becomes part of you, but for some reason he/she could not stay, don't be too sad... be glad that your paths have crossed. He took me from a bar. He took me in his car. He took my top off. He puts his lips on mine, but don't worry: I'm a bottle of wine! -You are so beautiful, sweet and faithful... It is a pity that I do not like animals!!! -I think you are ugly and stupid, You are a real pain in the ... Wait a moment.... oh no, I do have the right number... -Roses are red, violets are blue, when I sense the smell of the bathroom, I think of you !

-I do not swear, I do not smoke and I do not drink ! O damned My cigarette has fallen in my glass of beer ... -I wish you lots of itching and short arms. -You have the face of a saint...a Saint-Bernard! -Will we play the hulk together??.....I will be tall and strong and you green and ugly!!! -A fart is a flying planet, created by God and produced by men! -Why do men fart more often than women ? Because women do not keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure.. -Ok honey, we will try one more time!! How do you spell 'IQ' ? -I am born this way, but what is your excuse? -I love the sea, I love the rocks, but when I see you I need to puke ! -Some people die. Others become a teacher... -The more the merrier. The more women, the more prettier. -Women are just like frogs. They have a big mouth and are scared of the stork. -If I ever die because of marihuana, mark on my grave, I am too stoned to get up!! -You know when you are really too fat? When you are on the beach and Greenpeace carries you back to the sea. -When are you really full of confidence? .............. If you fart having diarrhea. -Roses are red ... Violets are blue ... but a face like yours belongs in the zoo !!! -On the door of a toilet....Some people come here to sit and wonder, I come here to shit like thunder! -Nice hair, a shame that you sit on it. -Roses are red violets are blue, shit stinks and so do you! -He kisses her gently on the lips. She does not feel comfortable, squeezes her legs, and so his glasses broke. -It is red and it taps on the window .................... A baby in a microwave. Ths msg cn only B read by a SEXY person: Nothing? Sorry, I guess UR just not SEXY Hey! Dnt force it ugly, get lost! 2 cows in a field. 1 cow says 'Hv U hrd about ths mad cow disease?' T oTr thinks & replies 'Yep but it doesn't affect us rabbits.'

T Japanese hv banned all animal movements after discovering droppings in T Bdding in 2kyo. Ty Blieve it could B a case of Fu2n Mouse. Hw do U occupy an idiot? ..Press down - Press up! 2 men R fishing. A funeral march goes by. T 1st man places his h@ on his chest. 2nd man says ''Th@'s nice. 1st man says 'It's T least I cn do. We wr married for 25 years.' Y did T farmer win a noBl prize? Bcoz he was out st&ing in his field! Y did T jelly baby go 2 school? Bcoz it wanted 2 B a smarty. Wht do U cll a dog with no legs? It doesn't m@ter wot U cll him, he ain't gonna cum. For sale complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 74 volumes. Good condition. 1,000 ONO. No longer needed, got married, T wife knows eVthing! I went 2 by sum camouflage trousers T oTr day But I cdnt find NE. Y did T cnnibal rush over 2 T cafeteria? He hrd children wr half price. Y dnt lobsters shR? Bcoz Ty're shellfish. A girl ph1d me T oTr day & said 'Come no over, Tre's nobody home'. I went over. Nobody was home. Woman asks a barman 'Cn I hv a double entendre please?' so T barman gave her 1. 2 aerials meet on a roof - fell in love & got married. T ceremony was terrible, but T reception was brilliant! I had a ploughman's lunch T oTr day. He wasn't V happy. Y dnt c@s shv? Coz 80% prefer Whiskers! Wht do U cll a vicar on a mo2r bike? Rev. Did U hear about T Dutch man with T infl@able shoes? He popped his clogs! Chelsea signed 2 players from Icel&. Ranieri said 'If Ty R no good he wll try Sainsburys.

Hw do U communic@e with a fish? Drop it a line. Wht do elephants hv for dinner? An hour, just like T rest of T animals. Hw does Bob Marley like his s&wiches? Wi jammin. Wht do U cll a triple barrel shotgun? A trifle. Wht do U cll a h&cuffed man? Trus2rthy. Wht do Mexicns hv under Tir carpets? Underlay! Underlay! Wht's T maximum penalty of bigamy? 2 moTrs-in-law. Wht do U get if U cross a skunk with a boomerang? A bad smell U cnt get rid of. Wht's T fastest cake in T world? Sc1. Hw do U kp a txtr in suspense? I'll tel U l8r. Y R dumb blonde jokes all 1-liners? So men cn underst& Tm. Wot do U do if a blonde throws a grenade @ U? Take T pin out & throw it back. Hv U hrd about T magic trac2r? It went down a country road & turned in 2 a field. I want 2 die peacefully in my sleep like my gr&f@her not screaming in terror like his passengers! Spell hungry horse in 4 letters. M T G G. I used 2 like trac2rs... ...but now I'm an extrac2r fan. My wife dresses 2 kill T only problem is th@ she cooks in T same manner. Wht did 1 magnet say 2 T oTr magnet? I find U V @tractive.

Hw do U kp an idiot amused? W@ch ths message until it goes away! Tre wr 2 cows in a field - Daisy & MaBl. D: 'I've bn artificially insemin@ed.' M: 'I dnt Blieve U!' D: 'Straight up, no bull!' Girls think boys are fit. Boys think girls are sexy. But don't worry... I'm sure science Will come up With something To help you. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think Brain Search: Brain detector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your gsm.... still searching.......no brains found Why did they call it PMS? Mad cow disease was already taken! Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny well...Enough about ME! How about you? I Want triplets you want twins.... Lets get in bed and see who wins Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now... Sorry I am leaving now, I can't find a brain Yesterday night I lay on my bed looking at the stars, then I wondered... Hey, where on earth IS MY ROOF! I wanted to send you something that would make you smile... But the postman told me to get out of the mailbox Drive carefully: 90% of people in this world are caused by accidents... God made man and then rested, God made women and then no one rested Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? It's like when dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving What do 7'tall basketball players do in their off season? Go to the movies and sit in front of you Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went it would be hell Why can't men get Mad Cow's Disease? Because they are pigs

How many letters are in the Alphabet? Nineteen. Because ET went Home on a UFO and the FBI went after him! How do you keep an idiot in suspense............?? Tell you later........ Never let a man's mind wander, It's too little to be out on it's own!!!! What beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake? Tarzipan! Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas? No you can have turkey like everyone else ! Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey - he's always stuffed ! We had grandma for Christmas dinner? Really, we had turkey! This turkey tastes like an old settee. Well, you asked for something with plenty of stuffing. What does Father Christmas write on his Christmas cards? ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (No-L !!) Why did the blond woman sneak past the pharmacy? She didn't want to wake the sleeping tablets! The average woman would rather have beauty than brains... Because the average man can see better than he can think What's the difference between Bigfoot and intelligent men? Big foot has been spotted a few times What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar? Ok you 2, don't start anything. Two blondes were driving to Disney Land when they saw a sign that read, "Disney Land left" So they turned round and went home. Drink until she's cute But stop before the wedding! Guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter replies 'nothing special - we just flat out tell 'em they're gonna die'. What's the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need; a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly

perplexing handwriting nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes intercommunications' incomprehensibleness". This is a sentence where the Nth word is N letters long. e.g. 3rd word is 3 letters long, 8th word is 8 letters long and so on. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them. There r 6 types eggs. Chicken egg = ji dan, Duck egg = ya dan, Bomb = zha dan, Person readin dis = hun dan, if u r smilin nw = chun dan & if angry = ben dan. The value of life does not depend on the length of time on this Earth but rather on the amount of love given and shared to the people we care about. Mental anxiety, Mental breakdowns, Menstrual cramps, Menopause... Did you ever notice how all problems begin with MEN! I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry, I cry. U laugh.. I laugh. U jump out of d window.. I look down n then.. I laugh again.. hahaha Heartbreaks will last as long as you want and Cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them. Once I catch u, Ill take u 2 bed, Ill make u hot, Ill make u sweat, Ill make u groan, u will wish u never had me. Urs sincerely, MALARIA. I would like 2 formally announce that I have already started accepting xmas gifts, cheques, etc. avoid holiday rush. Send now. Thank u. If one night a big fat man jumps in at ur window and grabs u and put u in a bag, dont worry ! I told santa I wanted u for Christmas. Aaj do sweter aur pehen lo, Aaj pero main moje aur pehenlo, Aaj do rajai bhi odd lo, Aaj muffler bhi peheno, Kya pata kal thund ho na ho. Today is cool to have small cars and mobiles. Soon a day will cum when small brains will be in fashion and then my dear u will be a legend.

Someone special, someone wise. Christmas greetings for someone nice. Hope gifts are showered upon u, so that I can have one too. MERRY CHRISTMAS. The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Happy Xmas. May all ur fondest dreams come true in the coming year. Wife: I wish I was a newspaper, so Id be in ur hands all day. Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper so I could have a new one everyday. U and I do it in bed, do it in car, do it standing, do it sitting, but its best when we do it lying down. Dont we just love sending SMS? U r as cool as vodka, Hard as taqila, Warm as cognac, Exotic as Malibu, Mixed as cocktail, And special as champagne. My relationship is like an onion which has many layers in it. It will add taste 2 ur life but if you try to cut it you will have tears in your eyes. Wherever you are, whatever you do, Just remember there is always someone somewhere whos wishing the best 4 u. Sardar reads a poster outside the police station Wanted !!! for rape and murder. He goes and says, Sir, I want to apply for the job. Always start your work with a lot of SEX S-Smile E-Enthusiasm X-Xcitement So make sex a daily habit. C ure smiling! U had sex already. Ha! Dream makes all things possible, Hope makes all things work, Love make all things beautiful, Smile make all above work happen. So alwaysBRUSH See outside the window, the sun s rising 4 u, Flowers smiling 4 u, Birds singing 4 u. Because last night I told them to wish u Good Morning. I know you are so-so-so-busy. But take 3 seconds 2 think of me. ..1..2..3.. So sweet ..now continue to work. Relationship is like a garden. Its beautiful when watered with love, hugs, tears and cheers.

But it dries up if left untouched. Keep in touch always. Night has ended for another day, Morning has come in a special way. May you smile like the sunny rays and leave your worries for sum other day. Good Morning. Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE It means Without Information Fighting Everytime! ...............Wife says No, it means With Idiot For Ever. 1000 of friends I make, Everyones hand I shake. But real friends are few and The best is U Always welcome a new day with a smile on you lips, love in your heart and good thoughts in your mind and youll have a wonderful day ahead..Good Morning !!!! Man falls in love thats ok, Cows eat grass thats also ok. But a monkey press a cell pad is unbelieveable. Still pressing incredible. Happiness is like a butterfly. You run after it, it flies away. If you stand still it comes and sits on your shoulder. So wish you lots of butterfly. A 4 apple, B 4 bada apple, C 4 chota apple, D 4 dusra apple, E 4 ek aur apple, F 4 fokat ka apple, G 4 gol apple, H 4 ho gaya na pet kharab khake itne saare apple. A friend is an angel, Someone that is true, an angel I love and who loves me too, Someone who cares about everything I do, A friend an angel, to me thats you. Smile increases value of face, Anger spoils beauty of soul, Faith is force of life, Confidence is companion of success, So keep smiling. A boy meets his girl. Both r in deep love. When they go to kiss, suddenly a dog comes and kisses the girl. Why? Wherever you go our network follows. Hutch. So sweet is your smile So sweet is your style So sweet is ur voice

So sweet is your eye See how sweetly I lie. Earth may stop rotating, Birds may stop flying, Candles may stop melting, Fishes may stop swimming, Heart may stop beating, But Ill never stop disturbing you. Some people say its easy to forget, Some say its hard to remember. So forget not 2 remember me and Remember not 2 forget me. As the NEW YEAR paves the way 4 the new, Things will change a bit but the memories of you in my heart will remain ocean deep. Have a wonderful NEW YEAR. Its prudent to let the imprudent memories and relationships fade out in the Happy New Year. No one can go back and make a new beginning but anyone can start from now and make a happy ending. Hope youll have a NEW YEAR that starts right and ends happy. Wish u and your near and dear ones in simplest way, a very joyous, fruitful and enriching 2004. May Gods blessing be with you always. Where there is a dark cloud in the sky, When there is a tear in ur eye. Remember there is your friend on earth, Who would rather die than c u cry. To be disturbed by the beep of a phone only means that SOMEHOW, SOMEWHERE, SOMEBODY is thinking of you. At this very moment thats me. A good friend will come to visit you if youre in jail. Your best friend will be sitting beside u, saying: Dude !!! Were screwed. From Monday 2 Sunday, January 2 december, Birth 2 death My feelings about u will never change2 me u were. U are and u will always be a HEADACHE. Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself. How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics, so important a biological phenomenon as first love? People who drink to drown their sorrows should be told that sorrows know how to swim. If ur beloved breaks ur heart, if ur friends deceive u, even if ur relatives leave u, let not that smile leave ur face.

A sardarni to shopkeeper: Lipton di chaa hai? Shopkeeper: Mujhe to nahi hai, agar aapko hai to lipat jao. What connects tyres, mobiles, toothpaste, bikes, biscuit, credit cards, cars, cold drinks, tv, and watches?.....wondering..our very own SACHIN TENDULKAR. Why r Egyptian children always confused? Because after death their daddy becomes Mummy. When nights r long and friends are few, I sit by my window and think of u. A silent whisper a silent tear, With all my heart I wish u were here. Helllllooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! U crossed my mind just now so I whispered a prayer. I asked God to make u happy forever and ever. No special reason for this message. I just want to steal a single moment out of ur busy day and hope to make you smile when I say Hi Bhagwanse scooter manga.. Car diya; Ghar manga bangla diya; dost manga toh tumhey diya. Bhagwan ne isbar aisa julm kyo kiya Dhirubai from heaven.. Beta Mukesh, kaisa chal raha hai apna reliance . Mukesh Hello kon bol raha hai, thik se sunai nahi deta. Call me on my HUTCH no.. There is no Raymonds Show room in Pakistan why???? B Coz there is no COMPLETE MAN!!! When Titanic was drowning an Italian asks sardarji, how far is land? Sardar-2kms. Italian jumps into the sea and asks.. Which direction? Sardarji. Downwards!!! As the day turns into night keep your worries out of sight. No matter how tough the world may seem, u still deserve the sweetest dreams!. Sleep sweet Gud night. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahohohohohohohohohohohohohoho hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahohohohohohohohohohohohohoho hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahohohohohohohohohohohohohoho hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahohohohohohohohohohohohohoho Kuch nahi yaar bas teri shakal yaad aaa gayi!! If you read this, I am smart. If you save this, u agree I m smart. If you forward this, you r spreading that I am smart and if you delete ths, you are jealous coz I am smart. Haha chose one. Guess what I am doing ooO( .) ( .)Ooo ooO(. ) (. )Ooo ooO( .) ( .)Ooo Keeping an eye on you and making sure u r alright! I have a special BREAKFAST for you 2day. A glass of CARE, a plate of LOVE, a spoon of PEACE, a fork of TRUST & a bowl of PRAYER. Good morning. Have a nice day.

Sardar to sardar why are you watching the funeral by BINOCULAR sardar replies because DUR KA RISHTEDAR THA yaar! Im missing you so much & dying 2 see you, but but.. This. This. This wretched security guard at the zoo is not letting me in without a ticket Falling in love is a sweet ambition, finding true love is a life time mission. Take my word, follow the Indian tradition & marry your dads ugly decision. Hey, sorry for disturbing you at this time. I need your help. But only if you are not busy. If you dont mind. If you can and if its not disturbing you. Please DELETE this msg he he he!! All desirable things in life are either ILLEGAL BANNED FATTENING EXPENSIVE OR MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE Sardar bunks office comes home & finds his wife in bed with his boss. Rushes back to office & tells his colleagues I almost got caught bunking? Sardar opens his lunch box in the middle of the road why? Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from office. Alone.. Id be your shadow. Afraid.. Stay behind me.. Wanna cry. Here is my shoulder Need a hug. Id embrace you tight and say.. What ever happens you have me!! ABC : Always be careful DEF : Dont ever forget (me) JKML : Just keep loving me. NOPQRSTUVW : No other person quite right shall treat U well. XYZ : Xee You zoon. Someone MISS U.. NEED U. WORRY ABOUT U LONELY WITHOUT U.. GUESS WHO. THE MONKEY IN THE ZOO . Being visible isnt always a requirement .. for being close it just takes some thoughtfulness..and concern to capture the love of a friend. If you wanna know how much I miss you, try to catch rain drops, the ones you catch is how much you miss me and the ones you miss is how much I miss you. If If If If U you say RUN I will ask you how far u say SWIM I will ask how deep u say JUMP I will ask you how high u say GO AWAY I will say NO WAY r my friend I will stay.

Stars+moon=romantic night, Birds+sky=lively day Forest+animal = freshing world YOU+YOUR SMILE = DARNA MANA HAI Not every flower can represent LOVE but the roses did. Not every tree can stand thirst but the cactus did. Not every monkey can read this message but U did. I like seeing you, I like hearing you, I like to spend my time with you, but you are always surrounded by others as you are main attraction in the zoo. Sincere apology, If you dont like any of my SMS and dont like to read them. Then please dont hesitate.. Feel free to throw your mobile. Mobiles are irritating. Rings every now and then. Recharge the battery. Message get delayedbut one thing I love about it is it connects me and u A pastry said 2 a chocolate. Damn were sweet!! the chocolate replied. U think we are sweet u havent seen the person reading this message. Someone somewhere dreams of your smile & while thinking of you says life is worthwhile. So whenever you are lonely remember its true. Someone somewhere is thinking of you If kiss was a raindrop Id send you showers, if a hug was a second Id have send you hours, if smiles were water Id send you a sea, if friendship was a person Id send you ME. A Smile Is a curve that sets everything straight and wipes wrinkles away! Hope you share a lot & receive a lot. Heres one from me (,__,) Have a nice day. A lady had 8 sons all named KEVIN, when asked how she differentiates while calling, she replied by their surname. When ur life is in darkness pray 2 god ask him 2 free u from darkness and if after u prayed and u r still in darkness please pay ur electricity bill!!!!!!!!!!! Wife: u know, husband and wife are not allowed 2 be together in heaven!!! Husband: yes, that's y it's called heaven .I am sending u 24 smiles, one 4 each hour of the day 2 make sure that u r always smiling. U know what angels do? They take care of nice people on earth. I told the angels 2 take care of u, she said NO U know why? She said angels dont take care of angels. 7 days make a lovely week, 4 weeks make a lovely month, 12 months make a lovely year and knowing someone like u makes a lovely life. Sun wouldnt be red, Sea wouldnt be blue, I wouldnt be happy, Without disturbing u.

Wife to hubby: If I die what will u do? Hubby: Main pagal ho jaoonga. Wife: Would u marry again? Hubby: Pagal to kuchh bhi kar sakta hai. Shrewd squeezed a Gentleman till the cracks appeared. Even then he remained calm. Later a crooked trapped and sucked the Shrewd, then he realized the value of Gentleness. Flowers need sunshine, violets need dew, all angels in heaven know I need u. years may fly, tears may dry, but my friendship with u will never die. One day u will ask me: What is more important to you, me or your life? I will say: my life You will walk away from me without knowing that U R MY LIFE!!! People live People die People Laugh People Cry Some give up Some will try Some say hi Some say bye Others may forget YOU but never will I. When God opened the window of the Heaven He asked me: What is your wish for today? I said: please take special care of the person reading this!!!!!!! There r many stars but the moon is u, there are many friends but the best is u,, To forget me thats up to u,,, To forget u I will never ever do. U may be out of my sight, but not out of my heart, U may be out of my reach but not out of my mind.I may mean nothing to u but u will always be special to me!! If I m in hell & u in heaven, I always look up & be proud of u. but if I were In heaven & u in hell, I beg God 2 send me down coz heaven wont be heaven without u. Never say ur happy when ur sad never say ur fine when ur not ok never say u feel good when u feel bad and never say ur alone when I m still alive. Geeta Saar: SMS who gyan hai jo baatne se badhta hai. Isliye he prani, tu bill ka moh tyag de aur karm(SMS) kar. Tabhi tera manushya janm safal hoga. Someone asked me about ur age. Well, I said: The way u dress-19, ur skin-15, the way u speak-20, the way u walk-18. in total u look 72 years old. U know what angels do? They take care of nice people on earth. I told the angels 2 take care of u. She said No.u know why? She said angels dont take care of angels. If I get ur smile, I dont need flowers. If I get your voice, I dont need music. If u speak to me, I dont need anybody and if u r mine the I dont need THE WORLD. Luv is like a bird, if u hold it tightly it will die. If u hold it slightly it will die. So dont luv one or two. Just flirt around and keep a big cage with u. A female had triplets and named them rat, pat and tat. She fed rat from her right breast, pat from left. What is the moral of the story? ..No tit for tat! Suar ke bachhe, ullu ke pathe, kutte ke pille, saap ke sapolesab chote chote chote

chote hote hai. Try this out it is fun. Go to message, select write message, again select options, go to dictionary, activate English and type this.786709278464084630434680 U r special to me. I dont want anything happening to u. I want u 2 be safe but I cant always be there, so please be careful when u swing on trees. Apun dono mein smart kaun? Intelligent kaun? Charming kaun? Goog looking kaun? Famous kaun? Who tum to nahi fir bacha kaun? A guy told his friend, My fathers name is laughing and my mothers name is smiling. So the friend asks, Is your name kidding? The guy says, Thats my brothers name and I am joking. Whenever you feel low, depressed or useless, remember that you are the same sperm that once won a battle against a million others. Ek man ne ek bus driver se pucha: Tum bus mein kitne hours rehete ho? Driver said, Pure 24 hours. 8 hours is bus mein. 16 hours wife ke bus mein. Tere Ma ki Tere Baap ki Tere Kaka ki Tere Kaki ki Tere Bhai ki Tere Bhabhi ki Tere pure Khandaan ki Tu JAAN hai re Rich people use HUTCH, Good looking people use AIRTEL, Spicy people use SPICE, Idiots use BSNL and Beggars use RELIANCE. Its really hard to wait 4 the right person in your life.. Especially when the wrong ones are so cute.. If you want to be happy for a day get a date, Happy for a week get a lover, Happy for a month get married, But if u want to be happy forever gat a friend like me. Sample piece2 rectify all mistakes and then make women I dont know how many meters make a mile, Nor do I know how long is the river Nile. But I always smile whenever I see ur name on my mobile.

I am sending a pillow of happy thoughts 2 create wonderful dreams, A blanket of care 2 keep u warm all night, And a prayer 2 protect u till morning. People live, people die, People laugh, people cry, Sum give up, sum will try, Sum say hi, sum say bye, Others may forget u, But never can i. One One One One One advice: Take care. request: Be ur self wish: Dont forget me lie: I hate u fact: I cant stop missing u.

Every little smile can touch somebodys heart. May u find 100s of reasons 2 smile today and may u be the reason 4 someone else 2 smile always. Sometimes world gives me so many reason 2 hate, but whenever that happens I just stop and think of u and say how can I hate this world when you are part of it. Hi to my sweetest, cutest, adorable friend OK BYE got to GO. I have to FOOL the other too. Mere call ka accident ho gaya hai aur doctor ne kaha hai ke bahut saare sms chadane pedenge, so please donate generously, its urgent. Zindagi mein chaar cheezen kabhi bhi aa sakti hai. 1-Paisa, 2-Maut, 3-Mera sms aur think 4-Potty Ouch! Its 2 tight. Dont worry luv, well try 2 do it slowly. PUSH it inah.I cant. its painful.OK! Lets get another ring. Since Ive seen u, I know what luv is, u drive me crazy, I cant live without u. I wanna marry u. its not 4 u stupid. This is what others keep telling me. Water is COLOURLESS, Air is SWEETLESS, Without your sms, my mobile is USELESS. U U U U U care 4 me, I care 4 u, miss me, I miss u, like me, I like u, msg me, I msg u, forget me, I am sorry This is where I dont match u.

When u find a dream inside ur heart dont ever let it go. Coz dreams are the tiny seeds from which a beautiful tomorrow grows. Have a beautiful dream tonight. Yaar mera mail mila? Ha mila, hamesha mail hi bhejta rehata hai, kabhi to female bhej.

Let me guess: what u r doing..Reading book? No? No? Listening Music? Uhu!! Watching TV?? Na !! Caught a..Reading my SMS na?? Now u r smiling. Kya mamu apan ki yaad vaad nahi aa reli kya? Kya apan hi tere ko aise jhakkas msg bhejta rahega kya? 2 bhi ek-do raapchik msg Chipka Daal. A god woman inspires a man. A brilliant woman interests him. A beautiful woman fascinates him. And a sympathetic woman gets him. Touch ur heart, close ur eyes, make a wish, say Good Nite, Sky so wide, stars so bright, off the light, sleep tite tite..sweet dreams. A fresh yellow rose goes ur way filled with a nice blend of sweet memories, through feelings, intense emotions, love, faith and wishes for an ever lasting friendship with you dear. HAPPY ROSE DAY. A man sent an SMS to his pregnant wife. A few seconds later, he received a report and started dancing. Report read: Delivered ! Life is small, live it, Love is short, flirt it, Anger is injurious, dump it, Troubles are momentary, face it, Im too good, accept it. Sardar is lying nude on the beach. A sexy babe starts playing Tabla on his butts. Sardar is happy, turns over and asks the babe, Darling can u play flute. I threw a coin in the wishing well and wished that youll be happy in your life forever. "A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous" In my life I learned how. 2 love 2 smile 2 be happy 2 be strong 2 work hard 2 be honest 2 be faithful 2 forgive but I couldn't learn how.. 2 stop rembering u. I have seen angels in the sky. I have seen snowfall in july. I have seen things u only imagine to see. But I haven't seen anything sweeter than u. A rose 4 Rs. 10, A card 4 Rs. 25, Lunch 4 Rs. 250, Movie 4 Rs. 220 A friend like u priceless. Abe jyada upar mat chad. Priceless bole to Fokhat. Got a gift 4 u. no cost. No batteries required. Tax free. Performs silently. Extremely personal. Fully returnable. Its a hug from me 2 u. Winter comes again and again. Summer comes again and again, but a person like u never comes again and again because God never makes a mistake again and again. Machhars song. Bhege hoth tere, pyasa dunk mera. Dikhe har jagah mujhe khoon bhara. Kabhi mere saath koi raat guzar. Tujhe subha tak mai dasu yaar. Life is a book we all read it.. Friendship is a blessing we all need it..

Alwyz be happy alwz have a smile.. Remember in this world we r just for a while Taxi driver to marwadi. Passenger: Sir car ki break fail ho gaye hai. Kya karu? Marwadi: Saale pehele yeh meter bundh kar. A lot of things go unquestioned, Lot of question go unanswered. A few words go unsaid, Few go unheard. Some dreams r buried alive, Some r born dead. Thats life !!! Aree listen. Two people were asking me ur details today. I gave ur address and call no. theull b visiting u soon. Their names are JOY & HAPPINESS. May ur day goes good with them. Flirt with ur understanding, Get engaged to compassion, Marry simplicity, Honeymoon with genuineness, And divorce the ego. Thats Life !!! Ek family sholey dekh kea aye aur pati patni se romantically bola Nach basanti naach. The child added Mummy ! is kutte ke samne mat naachna. Dark were those days, without your sight. When I was in darkness, you gave me light. You gave me strength 2 make life bright. Thank you so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT ! Please remind me 2 remind U about reminding me to send U this reminder that reminds me of reminding U that U never have to remind me 2 remember U, I ALWAYS DO! The animals of a jungle have decided to hold a meeting. The lion has come, the tiger has come, the elephant has come, the monkey has come.. But The meeting hasn't started. Guess why ? Because the Donkey is busy reading this SMS ! A - U'r Attractive B - U'r D Best C - U'r Cute D - U'r Dear 2 me E - U'r Excellent F - U'r Funny G - U'r Gud Looking H - He He He I - I'm J - Just K - Kidding Last nite I lay in bed, looking at the stars, the beautiful sky and the endless horizon.... and suddenly I thought... where the hell is my roof? You've got Sex Appeal... You've got Style... You've got Intelligence... You've got Class... You've got D Face... & You've got D Body... & I've got the wrong number! Sorry! This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,20 cat, seconds cat !... Now read it without the word cat. Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai? jab koi ladki shadi se pahle pregnant ho, Aur uski maa bole "HEY BHAGWAN YE TUNE KYA KIYA?".

What's the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE - In both case you feel "aur thoda ruk jata to accha model milta" U may have Someone in ur mind Someone in ur heart Someone in ur dreams Someone in ur life But I am ur someone When u have no onePromise Another month, another year, another smile, another tear, another winter, a summer too.but therell never be another YOU. Court order! U r accused of crawling into my heart n hijacking my smile with ur cute sms. How do u plead? Guilty! Ure sentenced to b my friend 4 life. Sorry no bail. I know u love her, its not a secret anymore! Shes pretty, shes hot, shes so rich n cultured. Congrats! She turns 57 today. Happy Independence Day. Make a heart which never breaks. Make a smile which never hurts. Make a touch which never pains, make a relationship which never ends.like me and u. I may b gone.4 a min, 4 an hr, 4 a day, 4 a month, But Ill always b here 4 u. I may not b able 2 always say Gud morning, Gd evening, Gd nyt..But Ill nvr say Good Bye! U luk sweet when u read my sms. Sweeter when u read n smile. Sweetest when u read smile n reply. So try 2 luk sweetest always. MISS U VERY VERY MUCHmissing u is only half the story. Hope the other half is u miss me too. Sardar repeatedly buying movie tickets. Finely the ticket seller asks him why? Sardar says, one guy standing near the entrance door is tearing my ticket. If you're too lazy to start anything, you may get a reputation for patience. I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it. I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people. Never try to drown your troubles... especially if she can swim. Smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking. Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station.

By the time a man realizes that his father was usually right, he has a son who thinks he's usually wrong. Teachers are those who help us in resolving problems which, without them, we wouldn't have. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning. Quit smoking! Take air pollution straight. Success is relative- the more success, the more relatives Promise me we are true friends I am lamp you are light I am Coke you are Sprite I am Sawan you are badal I am Normal you are Pagal I am Water you are Tanki I am Tarzan you are Monkey.....PoOoOoH!!! Someday u may lose ur hair. u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind. But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks. coz u cant lose wot u don't have! Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye Aur humare dil se awaaz nikalii.... Fiteh Mooh...Tusin Ethe vii aa gaye !!! When u feel sad.... To cheer up just go to the mirror and say, "damn I am really so cute" u will overcome your sadness. But don't make this a habit..... Coz liars go to hell !!!! When the time comes for you to give your heart to someone make sure that u select someone who will never break your heart coz broken hearts have no spare parts. Govt. of Pakistan has introduced a new rule ---> Good Looking people should be thrown out of the country!!! You are safe..... Where should i hide????? A stone dropped in water in a moment its gone. But there will be a 1000 ripples circling on and on. 2 day I am here, 2 morrow I am gone but there will be a 10000 memories echoing on and on. Kash hum ek SMS hote, 1 hi CLICK mein hum aapke paas hote, bhale aap hume DELETE kar dete, par kuch pal to hum aapke saath to hote. Life gives answer in 3 ways. It says yes and gives u everything.

It says no & gives something better. It says wait but gives u the best. Let the best be urs. Dive into my eyes and u will find an ocean of love and in it a boat of friendship waiting 4 u 4 a non stop journey into the core of my HEART. Science has proved that sugar dissolves in water, so plz don't get wet into the rain, otherwise I will lose a sweet friend of mine.So take care.... Only open heart receive LOVE, only open mind receive WISDOM,only open hands receive GIFTS, and only special people receive SMS from me.... Kya aap close-up karate hai? kya aap mobile rakhate hai? kya aap bills bharate hai? to phir aap SMS kyaun nahi karate hai???? Days r 2 busy... hours r 2 few... Seconds r 2 fast.... but der is always a time for me to ask... How r U? Every Second God remembers U..Every minute God bless U.. Every Hour God is with U..Because... Every day I pray God to take care of U... Feels good when somebody MISSES U, better when somebody LOVES U, but it feels best when somebody NEVER FORGETS U....so U can feel the best now.... Husn bana to aashique bane, sharaab bani to maikhane bane , aapaka SMS aaya to lagaa yunhi to nahi Pagalkhane bane !!! Tuzi ni mazi don jiwanchi kahaani, mi ardha veda aani tu Didshahani !!!! Khana - pina - sona free.... rehana bhi free.. sabkuchh free... just dial 100 !!! 24 hrs make a Lovly Day...7 days make a Lovly Week, 4 weeks make a Lovly Month, 12 months make a Lovly Year, and knowing some1 like U makes a Lovly Life... Yash Johar is producing a new film and is searching 4 a new talent. I've suggested ur name.Plz go and meet him.The movie's name is "Akkal ho na ho" !!! When I pray God , I don't see God, but I know HE listens...! When I SMS U, I don't see U, but I know U read it with a million dollar smile !!! Another month, another year, another smile,another tear, another winter, a summer too, but there can never be another U..bcoz God doesn't make the same mistake twice !!! May U have happiness as big as Ganeshji's Ears, may ur problems b as small as His Mouse, may ur life be as long as His Trunk and moments as sweet as His Modak !!! Today,Tommorrow and forever there will be one heart that would always beat for U...You know whose????................ Your own silly !!!!! Jo patton ne kaha shakhon se, saagar ne kaha leharonse, suraj ne kiranonse aur aasmaan ne kaha badal se.wohi aaj main tumase kahata hu...E CHAL C HAL HAWA AANE DE !!!

Good looks catches the eyes but Good personality catches the heart. You are blessed with both !!! Flattered? Don't be...It was sent to me.I just wanted you to read it !!! Some1 asked me once "Have U ever missed anybody so much?" It made me stop and think..then I smiled bcoz I was thinking of U...I miss U... Mon ko F'ship....Tue ko Love... Wed ko Engagement...Thu ko Shaadi...Fri ko Zagada...Sat ko Talaak...Sun ko rest...Mon ko Next... !!! I saw something in a shop window. It was stunning, cute,simply adorable.I was supposed 2 buy it 4 U, then I realised it was my reflection !!! To live a life, one needs brains, reflex, perception, looks, IQ, knowledge, way of expressions and many more mental qualities... Hats off to u bcoz u manage 2 live without them !!! Once an angel came upto me & granted me a wish.I asked 4 "World peace"."That's impossible", he said. Then I asked him 2 give u Brain. He said,"Let me try 4 World Peace!" From Mon to Sun, from Jan to Dec, from Birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed.For me, you've always been.......a HEADACHE !!!! 1 day U'll b surprised 2 c me bside u,U & ME laughing, U & ME crying, U & ME dreaming, U & ME holding on, U & ME.. just U & ME sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL and Me checking U !!! Dark were those day, without ur sight. When I was in darkness, you gave me light. You gave me strength 2 make life bright.Thank you so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT... Lucky star dropped on Earth one night.It asked me,"What do u want A Million Dollar or A True Friend?" I had to choose Million Dollar as I have U !!! Congrats !!! Your phone has been installed with a new puzzle game.To play, just throw your cell against the wall and arrange the pieces back !!! You are attractive, generous,intelligent,smart,charming,sophisticated,kind and generous !!! Infact u r bcoming like me day by day !!! Aajakal man kar raha hai ki main tumhe kabhi bhi mauka dekh kar sabke samane ek k .... ki.....kis.....kiss.................kissa sunau Ramayan wala !!!! Y'day one tear came out of my eyes. When I asked y u came out..then it said that there is somebody in ur eyes hence no space remains for me.... Suraj hua maddham..chand bhi chalane lagaa... main thehera raha..jameen chalane lagi... sajna kya ye mera pehala pehala pyaar hai? Nalayak ye pyaar nahi EARTHQUAKE hai... bhaag !!!! Aap hamari galime aaye...thoda sharamye..thoda itaraye..thoda muskuraye..aur chillaye..BHANGARWALA.... If I am disturbing U..................I am sorry! But I need to say that..............I...................I Love.................. disturbing U !!! Girls misuse it ! Anger robs it ! Models sell it ! Photographs cage it ! Doctors advice it !

Death freezes it ! Artists create it ! That's Smile... Keep Smiling !!!! Lailako Majnuka SMS nahi aaya, Lailane 3 din khana nahi khaya, Laila marane wali hai Majnuke pyaarme, aur Majnu baitha hai SMS Free honeke intezaarme !!! Galelio : Great Mind , Eistein : Genius Mind , Newton : Extraordinary Mind, Bill Gates : Brilliant Mind , ME : Master Mind... U : Never Mind !!! I wanted to kill the sweetest , smartest and the most beautiful person on the earth, but then I thought...... SUICIDE is a crime !!! Woh chumale ek baar to aati nahi neend...unaki aawaj sunate sunatehi raat jaati hai beet.. isiliye kehati hu yaaro..ye risk na uthao..KACHHUWA JALAO MACHCHHAR BHAGAO !!! Last night I dreamt of U.... Today morning my first thought was U...I thought of U the whole day.. I think...I LOVE U....... 2morrow I'll be thinking of V,W,X,Y, and Z. Kahan ho? jahan ho wohipe rahana... 3-4 ghante tak bahar mat nikalana...tumhari jaan ko khatara hai... bahar BANDAR pakadanelwale ghum rahe hai !!! Sometimes I forget to ask How are U? Sometimes I even miss 2 say Hi ! But it doesn't mean that I forget U...I'm just lazy....Like U !!!! Sunsaan sadak ke paaswale sukhe hue peepalki tuti hui tehanike murzaye hue pattepar baithe hue uddas bhootke tute hue dilse tapakate hue gande khunke bimaar bacteria...How r U? Gr8 people talk about ideas... Average people talk about things.. Small people talk about other people... and LEGENDS never talk..they just...SMS like me !!!! Roses are red..sky's are blue...Monkeys like U..shud be kept in zoo... Don't get angry, you will find me there too , not in the cage but laughing at you. Unlike others, ur brain is a masterpiece. it has 2 halves- the left & the right. The left has nothing right in it & d right has nothing left in it. An optimist is a guy who thinks his wife doesnt understand him. SMS doesnt mean only Short Messaging Service, but it also means Some Moments Shared with loved ones. The more you study. The more u know. The more u know, the more you forget. The more u forget, the less u know. So why 2 study? My eyes are often jealous of my heart. Guess why? Coz u r near 2 my heart but away from my eyes. Why do bosses prefer round table conferences? So that no1 can corner them. Kisi ko bewafai seekhni hai to Suraj se seekhe. Vo Usha ke saath aata hai, Kiran ke saath rehata hai aur Sandhya ke saath jaata hai.

Please dont send me cheap messages because I am from a rich family. We are in the iron and steel business. We iron clothes after we steal them. I am so concerned about u. I wanted to tell you this from so long, Please wear a helmet while driving because EMPTY THINGS break easily. Wish you have a wholly holey holy holi this year. P.S: Use nerolac weather proof exterior paint for long lasting results. The words feel less 2 speak 4 u, The ears get stuck 2 listen 4 u, The arms get free 2 catch u, The legs just want 2 reach 2 u, But the eyes just keep on missing u. A sardar dies due to lighting and his dead body is found smiling. God asks Why? He replies, Mainu laaga ke koi meri photo khich raha hai. God picked up a flower and dipped it in dew, He lovingly kissed it which turned into u. Makki ki roti, nimbu ka achar, suraj ki kirne, khushiyon ki bahar, chand ki chandni, apno ka pyar, mubarak ho aapko holi ke rango ka tyohaar. Pichkariyo ki fuar gubbaro ka dhamaal rango ka sringaar gulalo ka bahar apno ka saath jeevan mein ullas aur bhang ka glass. Aapki holi ho first class. May this holi bring u abundance of nature, colours of purity and essence of togethernesshappy holi to u and ur family members. Red 4 prosperity. Green 4 happiness, blue 4 longitivity, orange 4 progress, pink 4 friendship. May u be blessed with all shades of life. Happy holi. Adarniya, ati pratapi, ati tejasvi, dayalu, kripalu, jag siromani, mahaan, avinasi, rajkumar, sri Yogesh ji aapko Shubh Raatri keh rahe hai. SMOKE everyday!!!! SMOKE means. S-Send, M-Me, O-One, K-Kool sms, E-Everyday. Accept my simple gift of GOOD MORNING wrapped with sincerity, tied with care and sealed with a prayer to keep u safe and happy all day long. Some joys are better expressed in silence, as a smile holds more meaning than laughter. I was asked if I enjoyed meeting u in my life. I just SMILED. If missing u was a crime Id be on death row, If dreaming of u was a disease, Id be in ICU but if caring 4 u was a sin, I just bought a 1st class ticket 2 hell. Persistence will make you win Good Luck whatever you may be hoping for and aspiring to be in life. May your patience and belief is yourself.

5 reasons why I like u. 1-u r never boring. 2-u know how 2 bring a smile on my face. 3-u r always on my side 4-u r perfect 5-u r always fooled by me. A study has proved that all fools use their THUMB while reading a SMS. Now its 2 late dont try 2 change ur finger. Catch another fool. Congrats on FOOLS DAY S-surely T-the U-ultimate P-person I-I D-desire Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like? It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper. It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again. Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers. It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving. Behind every successful woman, is a man who is surprised. (no offense ladies!!) Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk. Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. Forgive your enemies but remember their names. The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Ur smile can be compared with flowers, Ur voice can be compared with cuckoo, Ur innocence can be compared with a child, But in foolishness u have no comparisons. 3 sardars talking about aids. 1st -mai to condom ke bina karta nahi. 2nd-mai to ungli mein bhi condom pehenta hu. 3rd-mai to bilkul risk nahi leta, padosi se karwata hu. Tuhar chehra moti ke saman, Thar mann moti ke saman, Tuhar aankhen moti ke saman, Tuhar baal moti ke saman, Moti hamar kutte ka naam. I may not be a clock that may sms u 24 hrs a day. But my heart will be like a clock that will not stop caring and praying 4 someone as special as u. Success is a mixture of hard work, believe in what you r doing and a bit of luck. I heard sum 1 whisper ur name but ven I turned around 2 see who it was, I noticed I was all alone then I realized it was my heart telling me I Miss U. Jab jab humne chaha tab tab tum jage. Jab jab humne chaha tab tum jage. Kyunki tumahare darwaje ki ghanti hum hi baza baja kar bhage. Gud morning Go to hell.because only you can change hell into heaven by ur sweetness What happened 2 ur network? I tried calling u, but the operator said, Welcome to the jungle, the monkey u r trying 2 call is on tree. Please try later. Hate me. Leave me. Break me. Do anything. But please dont forget me. I asked a tear while it rolled down my cheek. Why do u appear when I am in a crowd, cant come when I am alone? It said, I find u all alone in the crowd. It starts with F ends with K. has four letters and when not available the man uses his hand. Obviously it is a FORK but I like the way u think. Flash news: War started in Iraq. President Bush has ordered 100 dogs to search Saddam. Mission is getting delayed as 1 dog is still reading this sms. Do u remember the day we traveled in a car? I put my dog out of the window, you put ur face out, then people started shouting Twins, Twins. No matter the sky is black or blue. No matter there are star or moon. As long as your heart is true, sweet dreams will always be with u.

I wanted to kill the sweetest smartest and most handsome person on this earth. But then I thought: Suicide is a crime. Before Before Before Before Before Before Before u u u u u u u speak Listen spend Earn write Think criticize Wait pray Forgive Quit Try Die Live

I enquired everything about u. good family, good character, good job, fine personality. Will u marry my maid? Shaktimaan Dusro Se Lad Raha Hai Batman Raat Mein Ghoom Raha hai, Spiderman Diwaron Par Chad Raha hai, Aur Dobberman SMS Padh raha hai I wrote, ur name on da sand n it got washed away, I wrote ur name in da air n it got blown away, II wrote ur name on my heart n.... I got a HEART ATTACK! See See See See the the the the sky, you will see the Gods grace. rain you will dance once again, moon you will see the depth of lake, mirror you will see Gods greatest mistake.

When God gave us friends he tried to be fair. But when I got you I got more than my share. No shadows to depress you, Only joys to surround you, many friends to love you, God himself to bless you. These are my wishes for you. MARRY CHRISTMAS. Every morning I pray to God that everybody should get a friend like you, Why should only I suffer. Roses are red, Violets are blue, god made me cute, But what happened to you. A friend is like a pillow. You can hug it when you are in trouble, You can cry on it when you are in pain, You can embrace it when you are happy. Always remember. I can be your pillow.

The night was dark, the moon was high, I stopped my car....u wondered why? I leant so close, u felt shy. I uttered those three words.... I ......la.......puncture !! Friends r like mirrors, They r our reflection. You are damn lucky I look good. You - cute You = hot You = sweet You = intelligent You = amazing You = perfect Me = liar. I have a confession to make, Ever since I have known u, Its kinda hard for me to forget u. Every night u appear in my dreams And I find my self shouting..... BHOOT !!! BHOOT !!! I look at the stars, the stars r beautiful Then I look at you...... I ....... I ....... I rather look at the stars again. ***** Look at the world as one big chocolate cake. It would never be complete without few sweets n nuts. Sweets like ME and nuts like YOU. u r 100% beautiful, u r 100% lucky u r 100% sweet , u r 100% nice and u r 100% stupid to believe these words If lord Krishna flirts, people say its RAAS LEELA. If we flirt, people say our character is DHEELA. Good looking people r hard to find. That's why u don't ...... That's y u don't see me often.

Then u feel sad.... To cheer up just go to the mirror and say, "damn I am really sooo cute" u will overcome ur sadness. But don't make this a habit..... Coz liars go to hell. Your brain will be refreshed in the next five seconds..... 5...... 4....... 3....... 2....... 1........ LOADING..... ERROR: no brain detected. God created ME to b ur friend. He picked ME out from all the REST Coz he knows I am ....well one of the BEST. AHEM !! don't argue with God now. Last night thinking of you one tear rolled out. I asked why are you out. Tear said: There is someone so beautiful in your eyes, now there is no place for me. I have nothing much to offer you in this world, its only my lifetime friendship. Chalega na? I think i should tell you what people are saying behind your back.. Nice Ass!!!!!! i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg! It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet.! Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!! Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty so the world needs YOU after all! Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life.John came fifth he won a toaster A man can kiss his wife goodbye.A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass! At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2.If rain makes all things beautiful

why doesnt it rain on you? i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again Theres an urgent meeting in the jungle! Everyones there.. lions, tigers, cheetas and ape, but the meetin cant start because the monkey is reading this text A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home friendship is like pissing in your pants every1 can c it but only u can feel its true warmth.thank u 4 bing the piss in my pants xxxx why do i text u? its my choice its my way of sayin dat i remembr u. why do i remembr u? il neva know its not my choice its my hearts. girls are like phones.we like to be held and talked too- but if u press the wrong button u'll be disconnected! Dear friend! Do you take me 2 b your lawful text mate.2 have & 2 hold.4 dirty quotes or saucy jokes.in text messaging & in poor signal.til low battery do us part? A good friend is like a good bra... hard 2 find- comfortable- supportive- prevents u from falling- holds u tight- and is always close 2 ur heart! THE NHS REGRETS TO INFORM U THAT UR BIRTH WAS AN ACCIDENT.PLEASE REPORT TO UR NEAREST HOSPITAL TO BE PUT DOWN.WE APOLOGISE 4 ANY INCONVINIENCE! A train is bout 2 crash!A frantic virgin strips off & says "can any1 make me feel like a woman b4 i die?" So a man takes off his clothes & says "iron these!" Last nite I lay in bed looking at the stars- the beautiful sky and the endless horizon....& suddenly I thought...where the fuck is my roof? If U delete this message thats bcoz u love me. If u save it thats bcoz u desire me & if u ignore it thats bcoz u miss me. So what u gonna do with IT? Smilin is infexous u catch it lik d flu.wen sum1 smild at me 2day i startd smilin 2.now im infectd iv sent it thru dis txt.so now ur smiling who wil it go2 next? God made butter god made cheese god made you for me to squeeze god made whiskey god made pepsi and when he made you he made you SEXY! This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience I wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox! Ur cute gorgeous fine & dandy.really sexy u make me randy.ur good wiv ur mouth & also in bed oops sorry wrong number 4get wot I said!

I saw sumthing in da shop window 2day.It was stunning sexy cute beautiful & adorable.I was supposed 2buy it4u till i realised it was my own REFLECTION Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. Thats enough bout me-How r u? Youre Attractive Gorgeous Sexy Intelligent Smart Charming Sophisticated Fit Kind & Generous. In fact youre becoming more like me everyday! Uve got sex appeal.uve got style.uve got intelligence.uve got class.uve got the face & uve got the body & ive got the wrong number! Ure so sexy u drive me insane.i luv u so much dat my heart is in pain.ur sexy voice puts me in a slumber.oh fuck im sorry i have the wrong number I'm @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the piss im at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case against me "possession of good looks".i'm doomed! i need someone ugly 2 bail me out-so hurry up! i hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 0569 - distracting public with ur xtreme good looks &sex appeal.remain silent & report 2 my bedroom From the moment I saw u, I wanted to be inside u, I love ur smell, the way ur tongue feels, the way u tighten and loosen mmmmmmmmmmmmm..NEW SHOES!!!!!!!!!! He came 2 me 1 nite... explored my body... licked- sucked- swallowed & had his fill... wen satisfied he left... I was hurt... F***IN MOSQUITO U picked me up.u took me home.u put ur hands around my waist.u took off my top den u put ur lips om mine.THANK GOD im a bottle of PEPSI. Someday u may lose ur hair.u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.coz u cant lose wot u don't have! I had a wet dream about you last night .... I pissed myself laughing when you fell of a cliff! i shall seek and find you.i shall take u to bed & control u.i will make u ache shake sweat until u grunt and groan.all my love, the flu X Whats rough and hairy on the outside and soft and wet in the inside starts with C ends in T and has a U & a N in it? .... Answer - a coconut u pervert. What is 10 inches long- 2inches thick and starts with a p??? A really good crap It goes in dry it comes out wet.the longer its in the stronger it gets.we can have it in bed just you and me...its not what you think its a cup of tea! Last nite i wantd u.needed u so badly dat it hurt.wantd 2 taste u.i wantd u in me so u could work ur magic on me...but i couldnt find u.u stupid.. PARACETAMOL! At 1st a little nibble- a slow & temptin lick.i suck & munch my liquid lunch & den i swallow

quick! CADBURYS CREAM EGG HOW DO U EAT URS? Tell me.is it going in?..yeah ..is it hurting?..ooh yeah ..ouch its hurtin ..ok i wil put it in slowly ..stil hurtin..ahh yeh ..den lets try d other shoe madam Last nite i coodnt sleep.i wantd u warm against my skin.i wantd u on me.i wantd 2 feel u all over my body.. but i coodnt find u!Where did i put my PYJAMAS? I luv the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creatin a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrust in & out up& down, can't wait til nxt time I LUV MY TOOTHBRUSH come here.take off ur pants and get on top of me....enjoy me until ur totally satisfied lovingly urs TOILET!!!! I luv u- I luv u- I luv u almighty,I wish ur pyjamas were close to me nighty.Dont be mistaken.now dont be mislead I mean on the clothesline and not in my bed Wen i look at the sun i c u!wen i look at the moon i c u!wen i look at the sea I c u... well get the f... out my way! 4 REASONS Y DOGS R BETTER DAN WOMEN 1)dogs obey wen u shout at dem 2)dogs dont shop 3)u can giv away ur dogs children 4)any guy can get a good lookin dog! 3 REASONS Y CATS R BETTER DAN MEN 1)cats luv u wotever u look like 2)u can stroke a cat wivout it thinkin about sex 3)u dont mind wen ur cat chases after birds! Y MEN R LIKE COMPUTERS 1)dey r useless until u turn dem on 2)dey have lots of data but r still clueless 3)as soon as u pick 1 a better model cums on the market! Y WOMEN R LIKE COMPUTERS 1)no one really understands dem 2)all ur mistakes r stored in their memory 3)u find urself spendin all ur money on accessories for dem! f ur askin if id hurt u da ansa is nevaif ur askin if i luv u da ansa is 4eva.if ur askin if i want u da ansa is i do.if ur askin wot i value most da ansa is u If luvs a disease den im very ill.but i dont want medicine i wont take no pill.i will suffer dis illness cos it makes me see exactly how much u mean 2 me! If i were a tear in ur eye i wood roll down onto ur lips.But if u were a tear in my eye i wood never cry as i wood be afraid 2 lose u! If Love & Friendship could be brought or sold as if they were Stocks & Shares.those wise enough to invest in you SEXY would all be millionaires!!! If water was a kiss id send u the sea.if a hug was 1 leaf id send u a tree if luv were forever id send u eternity! If i rote ur name in d sky wind wood blow it away.if i rote ur name in d sea waves wood wash it away.But ur name is engravd in my heart where nothin can touch it! if u love me like u told me please be careful wiv my heart- u can take it jus dont break it or my world will fall appart

If a kiss was a raindrop i'd send u showers.if a hug was a second i'd send u hours.if a smile was water i'd send u a sea.if love was a person i'd send u me! A peach is a peach.a plum is a plum.a kiss aint a kiss unless its wiv tongues.so open ur mouth & close ur eyes & give ur tongue some exercise Kissing you baby is my dream.Im the strawberry & ur the cream.Handle me gently keep me real keen.U & i together babes is passion so extreme! wot kisses mean!KISS ON HAND=i adore u KISS ON CHEEK=lets b friends KISS ON NECK=i want u KISS ON LIPS=i luv u KISS ANYWHERE ELSE=...lets not get carried away! Kisses blown r kisses wasted.kisses rnt kisses unless they r tasted.kisses spread germs and germs r hated.but u can kiss me baby im vaccinated if u can stay calm while every1 else is goin mad ... u probably havnt completely understood the situation! dont frown,you never know whos falling in love with ur smile Those who are afraid to fall, will never fly What do you do when the only person who can stop you crying, is the person who makes you cry in the first place? To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world It's better to be hated for who you are than loved for what your not life is short if you dont look around once in a while you might miss it Be yourself, there are enough other people FRIENDS are like starsyou do not ALWAYS SEE them but you know they are al ways there!.. A Person Who Asks A Question Is A Fool For Five Minutes. A Person Who Doesn't Is A Fool Forever A smile is a curve that can.Straighten out a lot of things. Dont b afraid 2 expose yourself.Reach out and tell sum1 wot they mean 2 u coz when u decide its the right time it might b 2 late! If you don't Stand for Something.You will Fall for Everything Sumtimes its harder 2 say no wen u really mean yes.Its hard 2 close ur eyes wen u really want 2 see.But the hardest thing 2 do is to let go wen u want to stay You might regret what you do- but you'll you regret what you don't do SO much more

2 let go doesnt mean 2 stop carin.2 let go is to learn theres sumthin beyond.2 let go means acceptin reality.2 let go is lovin more coz u only want the best. If you are the flame you can't be burned Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery.today is a gift that is why we call it the present! Intelligence is like a river.The deeper it is the less noise it makes be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart.for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top Be friendly to your children as they are the ones that decide where you live when your are old. When you finally find the perfect guy you think to yourself why isn't he taken? while w8ing 4 d right person 2 come- play & hav fun with d wrong 1.but b careful with who u play with bcoz dat person mite b d right 1 all along If you fool me once shame on you.If you fool me twice shame on me. Guys are like roses- watch out for the pricks. Some says i have car its name TOYOTA some says i have byic its name HONDA some says i have cycle its name BMX but i says i have DOG and its name owais. First Slogan was 'Pakistan Zindabad' now it is 'Pakistan Se Zinda Bhag' Everybody wants someone Special, Someone Nice, Someone thought ful, Someone honest, Someone Cute, Someone perfect, Someone attractive, Why they always call ME! Bill Gates married with 18 years old girl next day journalists asked the girl. How was ur last night? She replied politely & sadly. It was MICRO and SOFT Eik interview main Tariqaziz nay Reema se pucha aap subha uth kar kia karti hain? Reema nai jawab dia main apnaa ghar jati hoon Na love na pyar na shadi na dosti hum dard kharidte nahi batchte hain. Amitabhe Bachan Ask Reema in Kuan Benga Crore pati that what is the name of ur father see said that i will take life line (janta ka poll) Aap 50,00,000/- (Fifty Lac)jeet chokay hain,EK Crore ka sawal ye raha aap ki computer screen per:

IN MEIN SAY KON PEHLAY PEDA HOWA? a>Anda b>Murghi c>Murgha d>Chooza Aana Bano Chandni Doli Esha Fiza Gori Hina Iram Jasmine Kiran Lina Maria Noor Omaira Ponam Qirat Rani Sadia Tina Uzma Sara Yar ye larkia mera pecha kab chora ge IF U EVER WANT TO SUCCEED IN UR LIFE: "BE SWEET AS HONEY" "BE REGULAR AS CLOCK" "BE FRESH AS ROSE" "BE SOFT AS TISSUE" "BE STRONG AS ROCK" "BE SURE AS DEATH" i'm pink & hard take me in your mouth "now" suck me hard and swollow my sweet juice until i go soft !!!!!derty mind.... "CHEWING GUM". wana know if ur cousin is intrested in u? when she is in kitchen slap at her back. if she smiles then congratulation. if looks back Angrily shout BAJI DAR GAYEE Tum ak begerat or zalil insan ho. Tumhara na koi character he na wafa dari na eman. . . . . . . . Ye shalimar film ka dialog he. kesa ? QAYAMAT KI 3 NISHANIAN HEIN 1-JIS DIN MEMON BADMASH BAN GAYA-2-JIS DIN PATHAN KO CYCLE CHALANA AGAI 3-JIS DIN POLICE WALOON NEY UNDER WEAR PHENNA SHURO KARDI HUSBAND:"TUM AISI ROTI NAHI PUKKA SAKTI JAISI MERI MA PUKKATI THEE?" WIFE:"TUM BHI AISA AATA NAHI GOONDH SAKTE JAISA TUMHARE ABBA GHOONDHA KARTE THE SAMJHE." I'm sorry that I'm running late! There is a power failure and I am stuck on the escalator.

TELSTRA regrets to inform you that your birth was an accident. Please report to the nearest hospital to be put down. We apologise for any inconvenience caused. OPTUS wishes to inform you that our product security division has been monitoring your phone. We once again remind you that your phone is not a masturbation device. Hello, this is Death. Please answer when you are ready. POLICE are looking for a suspect who is smart, sexy, witty and very gorgeous. They've already eliminated you from the search, but where do you think I should hide? I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either. Apparently it has been discovered that the intelligent gene is found in women. Unfortunately 98% of them spit it back out. All I ever wanted is what others have. Laugh on your one and the world thinks you are an idiot. A kiss that says it all is seldom a first edition. Women have usually nothing to wear and no room to put it away! It is better to be fair than to be popular! The strongest musle of the human body is the tongue. Time is something that makes sure that everything does nog happen at the same moment. Life is not short, it is being dead that lasts such a long time! I intend to live for ever and so far everything goes well. I see things the way they are and say: Why? .................. I dream of things that never were and say: Why not? Life is what happens when you plan to do other things -- John Lennon copernicus said:"men with dick in peanutbutter is fucking nuts." Law of Murphy..... Everything that can go wrong, goes wrong sooner or later......Murphy was an optimist. It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick. A lot of people are in pain out of fear to be happy A lof of people were never happy because they thought it had yet to come. A laugh is the shortest distance between two people.

I want to die sleeping, just like my grandfather ..... Not yelling and screaming like the people on his bus. He said:"I thank you for the wonderful talk." ... I had only been listening. When your youngest child needs sex education, you have badly informed your elder children on the subject. The heart and the brain are neighbours, but they will never be friends. The present is just as mysterious as the future. People who do not want to be disturbed, usually already are disturbed. You can close your eyes for certain facts, but not for the memories. Friendly words do not have to be long, the echo never dies. Woman know that they are not that pretty any more when they have nothing to wear. what do you have to do when you fall into a river with a sign "Forbidden to swim?" Be yourself, there are enough other people. 20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all. Are these your eyes, I found them between my brests! At this moment i have a dj vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before. Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old! Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last. BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again! Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!! Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your mobile....still searching.......no brains found. Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all! . Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .

Don't feel sad, don't feel glue, Einstein was ugly too ! E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need. Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy. For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?" God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes! God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and beautiful. God also created woman and thought : I hope she will make herself up! HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!! Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain. Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world.. How would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or impregnated? I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing! I am not stupid, I am blond!!! B - L - O - N - T I am not your type ... I am not inflatable. I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids... I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one! I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils... If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long. If you have picture where you look old, keep them. In twenty years you can prove that you have not changed a bit. If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel. Ik would like to be a volcano... smoke all day and people say ... look he is working! In case of fire read this message.....................................I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!! It is charming, incredibly handsome, extremely good, well shaped, horny,an animal in bed

and it knows one French word ... MOI!! Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ??? Mobile sex: push 1 for oral, 2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for a trio, 5 for SM and for everything ... dial my number! My feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No, they make me sick." My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment... Nice perfume... but do you really need to marinate in it? One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you. Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place. Read in a hospital... The psychiatrist may nog be disturbed roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you???? roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't... Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand .................. Smoking is allowed in this area, blowing not! The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why should I be learning?? The one who digs a hole for someone else, is sweating blood ! They dropped your name, can you pick it up ? This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat! This is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this message a virus will be activated. This virus should have infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be disabled, unless you are ugly. This is your boss: "You are allowed to read the newspaper during the working hours and do certainly not miss the job adds." This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!! Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?

We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. "I do not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die." We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still searching........Sorry, no brain found !!! What he want, I do not want ... What I want, he does not want ... What we want, is not allowed! When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!! You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical expenses for your birth with their accident insurance. You are never too blond to learn !!! You got STYLE... You got SEX-APPEAL... You got the BRAINS... and you sure as hell got the BODY....WAIT!!!!!...SORRY....wrong number You have the ones that think and you have the ones that do things. The worst kind are those who think that they are doing things. You should know what it takes to look this cheap! You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise even the dog would not play with you You will have to cut back on your sex live. What part will you leave out, talking about it or thinking about it? You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body ... o, sorry, wrong number Youd better not be a dayfly and not having your day. Your provider adjusted his rates. The rate is determined by the length of your genitalia, the shorter they are, the less you pay. You can telephone for free from now on! Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven! Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living? Baicarumba...are those real? Be unique and different, just say yes. Can I flirt with you? Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track. Do you know karate? Cos damn it honey, your body is really kickin. Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you

to assume the position. Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open? Greetings and salivations Honey, I'm new in this town - dya think I could have directions to your house. I hope you know CPR, cos you take my breath away! I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night? I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list. If you don't wanna have kids with me, then why don't we just practice? Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before? That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed. Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good. Mobile phones are the only things in live of which men talk about having the smallest. A lawyer says 'we' won' or 'You' have lost. All computers wait at the sames speed. Real anarchists play chess without kings. Monday is one seventh of your life! When I was young I begged God for a bike, but God does not work that way... so I stole a bike and begged for forgiveness! Aiming to remain good sports, we park as close as possible near the sports centre. Money ressembles fat... there is plenty of it, but always in the wrong places. No-one loves hard work more than the one who pays for it. Some people live because it is illegal to kill them! Richness has eternal value if we use it to make others happy. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die... There are days that nothing goes your way, but does it help to complain? No, not a bit. So, stand up to it, list all the points and put your schoulders to the wheel, even worries go away. Learn to live every moment of happiness, are never too busy to receive or give love.

We have to make a choice, the truth or the appearances. You can loose yourself if you are never you. The sea consists of water drops, the sand dunes of grains of sand, time of moments, use them with common sense! Today is the day ... It comes only once- ... because tomorrow ...is no longer today. Enjoy life... it is possible ...but do it today ... because today is the day When you yell 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough energy to warm one cup of coffee. ( Niet echt de moeite dus!) You can't walk in the light without causting a shadow Without the rubber tree the whole world would have AIDS If you hit every time the target is too near or too big. The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes The secret of success lies not in doing your own work but in recognizing the right man to do it. People are not afraid of how bad you are, People are afraid of how good you are. Trains never follow the schedule, they follow the rails The one who asks is a fool for 5 minutes, the one who does not ask, remains a fool for ever It is better to know everything of one subject, than to know something of everything. The past becomes longer and longer and the future shorter and shorter, the hope in the future is bigger than the regrets for the past Never drive faster thant you guardian angel can fly ! Getting an other boyfriend or husband is like buying a house. You have to improve yourself. When you choose not to make a choice, you do choose because you choose not to choose. Life is hard, learn from the mistakes of others and not of your own mistakes ! When you turn you nose 180 degrees, you would drown when it rains Children in the backseat cause accidents... Accidents in the back seat cause children. People wasted a lot of time talking about who came first, the chicken or the egg, but it was surely the cock. Life is hard, but the front of a train is harder... Learn from the mistakes of others... you can't live long enough to make them all yourselves!!

Life is like toilet paper, long and usefull !!!! A fart is nothing more than a lost cough. One day you will find the woman of your life and at that point you will already be married. I only drink to make my wife look prettier. It is weird that my nose is running and my feet smell. Love is blind, ladies' underwear is braille Love based on beauty, dies along with the beauty. Be nice to those who smoke, every sigarette may be their last. Boredom was the other word for a safe and undisturbed life. Do not keep hanging in the past, do not dream of the future, but concentrate on the present. Light is faster than sound. That is why people look intelligent, until you hear them speak. All mushrooms are eatable. But some you can only eat once. Nature is a miracle. One million years ago no one knew people would wear glasses but our ears are at the right spot. A pessimist is someone who believes that women are frivolous. An optimist is someone who hopes for this. Every good-bye is the birth of a memory Every married man knows why they name hurricanes after women Common sense and a sense of humour are the sames things but at different speeds. A good sense of humor is just common sense that dances. I believe that there is life after death. But I do not think I will live it. There are so many things I have to do, that I should better go to sleep. You may not be too hard on my secretaries. They are sweet and understanding when I arrive at the office after having a tough day at home. Only 17% of all trafic accidents was caused by drunk drivers, so the other 83% was caused by, yes you got it....the sober ones among us!! What do you have in common with your husband ? " We married on the same day." Good advice,whatever happens, make it look like to intend to.

Words of a client in an antique shop: do you have anything new ? Stress is when you wake up and realises that you haven't slept yet. Reality is an illusion that is born out of shortage of alcohol. I want to live in Switserland where the mountains are higher than the taxes. Join the army, meet interesting people and then ... kill them... All of you who believe in psychokinetics, raise 'my' hand ... Lots of people stop working once they found a job! I am still single, my parents-in-law were not able to have children. Being nuts or crazy is inheritable, you get it from your children. The fact that there are 'intelligent' extraterrestrian creatures is proven by the fact that they did not contact us yet. I said no to drugs, but they did nog listen! 10.000 new jobs ... all tax inspectors?! Mistakes have been made, others will be punished. As long as they pretend to pay me, I pretend I am working. I started out with nothing... and I still have most of it! 3 monkeys escaped from the zoo ... one was caught watching tv ... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message My mother-in-law walks 5 miles every day... I wonder where she'd be by now. Like a rose withers, so is our relationship withering ... Keep the school clean ... stay home! Be quiet in the classroom, respect the fact that others sleep! We do have to go to school ... Have to is force ... Forcing is slavery .... Slavery is forbidden ... SO ... we do not have to go to school! The word HELLO means: H=How are you? E=Evrything alright? L=Like 2 hear from you! L=Love 2 see you soon O=Obviously I miss you..SO, HELLO No boys no love, no love no sex, no sex no people, no people no school, no school no problems That is how a triatlon has been invented : go swimming on foot and coming home by bike.

The IDEAL man does not smoke, does not drink, does not flirt, goes to bed early, in short ... does not exist It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give. It's the soul afraid of dying ... That never learns to live It's the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the change. It's the heart afraid of Breaking ... that never learns to dance. Secrets, they only last long enough to break you down Life is beautiful if you are willing to see it A bra is a thing that keeps up what would hang down otherwise ... When my father broke in to my mother I had to sit there for months! Boys say it's great, boys say it's fine. 9 months later they say it's not mine ! Teachers help you with problems that you would not have if they were not there. I am in seventh heaven, the other six do not want me. Women are like hurricanes! When they come they are wet and heavy. When they leave they take your home and your car ! ! No one ever died because of hard labour, but I think :"why would I take the risk?" I love working. I can look at it for hours. We used to listen to the Doors, now we have Windows. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. Computers are machines to help you solve problems you wouldn't have if you didn't have a computer. Life would be a lot easier if I had the source-code. Life is like a nose, you have to take out what is in it ! You need 60 muscles to be angry and 20 to smile why would you make things difficult? My thoughts wondering off, I am always everywhere. I intended to become rich while sleeping, but I could not fall asleep yet. It is better to have one bullet in the hand than ten in the back. Nok nok. Who's there? ..... Marie ...... Marie who? ...... Marie who wanna...!!

Wanna get stoned? Drink wet cement! Umm...your .... ZIP is open... Reality is for people who can't face science fiction. Idiot (id-ee-it) n.- One who disagrees with you. How do frogs die ? They Ker-mit suicide. Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good myself. I'm not as dumb as you look. If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought. What do I miss about my wife? Her absence. Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep. Linus is like a wigwam,no windows,no gates and an apache inside... News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested The longest sentence known to man: "I do." CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime? This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog. Why were males created before females? Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy. I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream! ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction. Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p. Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac? Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? A:About 45 pounds!!

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: There have been sightings of UFOs. I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears... There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant. What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that thing? What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive? Popeye beat the crap outta him. I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead. A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of downsizing, Knock, Knock. Employee: Who's there? Boss: Not you anymore. What's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle? If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish. Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards. Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?" What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side! The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action. Q: What does a blonde owl say? A: What, what? WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind! What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet? The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion. Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed? Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV. What do Germans use for birth control? Their personalities! Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh!

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? You don't, you've told her twice already! What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie? One fcuked the miners, the other fcuked the Majors Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up. Jesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!! Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high. I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half. What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a German? A man who's too drunk to follow orders. I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one. How many men do you need for a mafia funeral? Only one. To slam the car boot shut. For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used. Crazy Pranks & Hilarious Gags - great to play on your mobile phone sms friends :) What do you call a Lada/Skoda at the top of a hill? A miracle. Whats the definitoin of suspicion? A nun doing pressups in a cucumber field. Why doesn't Jesus eat M and M's? Cos they fall through his hands. Whits pink, wrinkled and hangs oot yer trousers??? Yer Gran! What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home! What do you get when you cross ESP with PMS? A bitch who knows everything. How do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head. Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll? A: We don't know. Never happens. Q: Why was the leper caught speeding? A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator. Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A: An f****ing know it all.

A chicken sandwhich walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here". A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries. Why do farts smell? For benefit of the deaf. I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night? If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese. What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool... Q: How did the polak burn his face? A: Bobbing for french fries. Q: What's difference between Yoghurt and Australia? A: One has a real live culture. Q: Whats diff between Michael Jackson and grocery bag? Ones white, made outta plastic and dangerous for kids to play with. The other you carry groceries in. A: A visitor. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either. It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts. I wonder if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode. My Reality Check bounced. Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open. Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer. Lightyears ahead! Just a phonecall away! I have the body of a god Buddha The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat Very funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes. Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?

There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full. Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check. What do you call a handcuffed man? - Trustworthy. Crazy Pranks & Hilarious Gags - great to play on your dumb cellphone friends :) What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth. Why don't men often show their true feelings? - Because they don't have any. 1 What's the difference between a man and E.T.? - E.T. phoned home. What is the thinnest book in the world? What Men Know About Women. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering How Dogs and Women are alike..... Neither believe that silence is golden. Neither can balance a checkbook. Both put too much value on kissing. Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. If you jogged backward ... would you gain weight? Did you hear about the new Chinese Cookbook being sold only at pet stores? "101 Ways to Wok Your Dog" Why did God create Whiskey? To keep the Irish from ruling the world!! If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one? Confucious advices you Never eat yellow snow. Confucious say Put rooster in freezer to get a stiff cock. Confucious say Man have more hair on chest than woman - but on the whole woman have

more. Q: How many Chinamen does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Thousands, because Confucious say many hands make light work. Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? that's how dogs spend their lives. I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain. I only use de-oudourant under one arm, so I know what I would have smelled of. Did you hear about the idiot who walked around the world? He drowned. I hate it when you leave, but I would like to see you go. When do you know a woman is going to say something interesting ? .... When she starts with "My husband said..." One chicken to an other: are you tokkin' to me? Man says to his wife : Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife : Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged. A blond woman picks up a 100. Was it a smart or a stupid blond one? ...................... stupid of course, there are no others What's the difference between blonds and traffic-signs? Some signs say stop. When god created the men he was only kidding Why does a stupid blond woman sneak past the pharmacy? ................. She does not want to wake the sleeping tablets! Dear God, I will keep it brief otherwise they will steal my dinner. AMEN When you harrass a boy, pull his pants down and your skirt up, because you can run faster with your skirt up than he with his pants down. There are three girls in the sixth grade ... A blond a brown and a red. Who has the biggest boops ? ............ The blond because she already reached the age of 20!!! If I'd had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents ! How to keep an idiot entertained *press down* ................... .................... How to keep an idiot entertained *press up* Can I have your picture? ......... I save natural disasters Of course... If you want something there is always a way to get there. Unfortunately on my way there are road works. You wanna come to my place for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?!

Why is a woman 20.000 $ worth and a man only 2$? A woman has a milk factory, a mussel farm and a sawmill; a man a sausage, 2 bitterballs and a little pot of mayonnaise Bigamy..............What is the penalty for bigamy? ............... Two mothers-in-law ! What does it say on the wrapping of the Morning-after pil??? ......first some screwing before use Farmer seeks woman with tractor. Please add photo of tractor. Do you think I can live for another fourty years? ... Do you drink? ... No! ... Do you smoke? ... No! ... Do you visit the whores? ... No! ....... Why do you want to live another fourty years? Dialogue between 2 undertakers. "Do you have sometimes a dead period?" There are numerous restaurants where you can eat Chinese. But it does not help a bit. There are more every day. Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?" Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause." I never forget a face, but for you I will make an exception. Nostalgia is not what it used to be. Speaking Italian is hard, but I eat and drink it without difficulties! A good movy can make you cry... so can onions. Those who think that things happen too fast are expected in a bank or a post office! My "aim" in life is: die young when I am very old. When you are lazy, you cannot help it. When you are tired, that is your own fault. who digs a hole for some else is surely no selfish person ! If my head looks like yours, I'd shave my rear end and walked on my hands. Mirrors should be able to think before reflecting the images. All nice things in life are illegal, immoral, or make you grow fat. When it is raining setbacks, use your smile as an umbrella! Before you want to start making a work of art, first make a draft, that is what also God did by creating first the man and then the woman

I would not call myself important, but I am convinced that when I was not born, everyone would like to know why. A new meeting next month ? Sorry, that is not possible, I have to go to a funeral. Happiness is a disaster. You get lazy. When you do not pay attention, you might start loving life. The only good thing about your own mistakes, is that is might make other people happy. He was very lonely. The only type he knew was his blood type. I visited the tax office. I wanted to know the people I work for. I was a beautiful baby. But they switched my in the hospital. Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so my friend stay wasted all the time, and have the time of your life! HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!! Dear God, I will keep it brief otherwise they will steal my dinner. AMEN How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there? If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for? Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. A scientist crossed a skunk with an owl. He's got a bird that smells but doesn't give a hoot. Why are all the dumb blonde jokes one-liners? So men will understand them. Name ten animals from Africa. Nine elephants and a giraffe. Two's company, three's a crowd but what is four and five? Nine. Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother. All the love that history knows is said to be in every rose!Yet all the love that could be found in two, is less than what I feel for you. Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you could just pluck them from your dreams......

My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too... Hi, do you want to have my children? No.?? ...Okay, then can we just practice? I took an IQ test and the results were negative. Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks your an asshole If you wanna be a hippie, put you flower in your pipi Don`t drink water, because fish fuck in it! Hi! Please stand by while this program enlarges your penis...........................ERROR: Your penis was not found! Sorry.............. Never let a man's mind wander, it's too little to be out on it's own!!!! Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here" A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?" A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here" A dyslexic man walks into a bra A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road." A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication. I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it. News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv.. another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested The longest sentence known to man: "I do." CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog. Why were males created before females? Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy. I want to suck you.. lick you.. wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream! ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction. Don't spend 2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p. Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac? Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? A:About 45 pounds!! What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that thing? What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive? Popeye beat the crap outta him. I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead. A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of downsizing, Knock, Knock. Employee: Who's there? Boss: Not you anymore. What's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle? If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish. Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards. Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?" What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side! The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action. Q: What does a blonde owl say? A: What, what? WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!

What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet? The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion. Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed? Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV. What do Germans use for birth control? Their personalities! Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh! What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? You don't, you've told her twice already! What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie? One fucked the miners, the other fucked the Majors Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease? A: Her IQ goes up. Jesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!! Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high. I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half. What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a German? A man who's too drunk to follow orders. I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one. How many men do you need for a mafia funeral? Only one. To slam the car boot shut. For sale : Air Bags, Used once. What do you call a Lada/Skoda at the top of a hill? A miracle. What's the definition of suspicion? A nun doing pressups in a cucumber field. Why doesn't Jesus eat M and M's? Cos they fall through his hands. What's pink, wrinkled and hangs oot yer trousers??? Yer Gran! What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home! What do you get when you cross ESP with PMS? A bitch who knows everything. How do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head.

Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll? A: We don't know. Never happens. Q: Why was the leper caught speeding? A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator. Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A: An fucking know it all. A chicken sandwich walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here". Why do farts smell? For benefit of the deaf. I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night? If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese. What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool... Q: How did the Pollack burn his face? A: Bobbing for french fries. Q: What's difference between Yogurt and Australia? A: One has a real live culture. Q: What's diff between Michael Jackson and grocery bag? A: Ones white, made outta plastic and dangerous for kids to play with. The other you carry groceries in. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Fanny. Fanny who? Fanny the way you keep saying 'Who's there? Every time I knock. Knock! Knock! Who's There? A midget who cant reach the doorbell. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and let me in! Knock! Knock! Who's there? Harry, Butch, and Jimmy. Harry, Butch and Jimmy who? Harry up, Butch your arms around me, and Jimmy a kiss.

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive across the road. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Mummy. Mummy who? Mummeasles are better so can I come in? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Boo. Boo who? There's no need to cry, it's only a joke. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Madam. Madam who? Madam key broke in the lock. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I called by? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Mister. Mister who? Mister last bus home. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Ivor. Ivor who? Ivor sore hand from knocking so much. Knock! Knock! Who's there? York. York who?

York coming over to my place tonight? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Isabel. Isabel who? Isabel broken? I had to knock. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it's cold out here. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Grandma. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Grandma. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Grandma. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Aunt. Aunt who? Aunt you glad Grandma's gone? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Doris. Doris who? Doris locked - that's why I knocked. Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta. Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai? Sardar: Phone karte waqt. What is the full form of singh s-sardar i-insaan n-nahi g-gadha h-hai. Sardar's son: mom kal raat ko vapas vaisa hi hua bathroom jane ke liye darwaza khola aur apne aap light on ho gayi. Mom: tenu kitni baar bola ki fridge ganda mat kiya kar. What is the chemical formula 4 water? Sardar: HIJKLMNO. Teacher: wht r u talking abt? Sardar:Yesterday u said H to O. Santa singh: Can u spell a word that has more than 1000 letters in it? Banta singh:Post office.

A friend asks sardar how was ur exam? Sardar: It was ok but i couldn't answer past tense of THINK. I thought, thought & finally i wrote 'THUNK'. A sardar goes 2 a hotel & after eating he goes 2 wash his hands, but start washing the basin Manager:What r u doing? Sardar: U have written here "WASH BASIN." I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer If I throw a stick, will you leave? You!... Off my planet! If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats. The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe? Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets. We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture. Death is the greatest kick of all. That's why they save it for last! Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep. Im not half as thunk as u drink. I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get Mobile phones are the only things in live of which men talk about having the smallest. What is similar to a woman's period? Ur salary - coz it comes once a month, last about 5 to 6 day and if it doesn't come it means

u r in deep trouble. Do u ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than u is an idiot and everyone driving faster than u is a maniac? The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks If I told you that you remind me of my mom, would you tuck me in bed tonight? I'm sweet like sugar, soft like suede, but unlike Nintendo, I never get played. Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese. Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed? Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV. Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh! "My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father." "If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?" "Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines." "Happiness is sitting down to watch slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out he spent two weeks at a nudist colony." "He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news." "At school we had a name for guys who were 'trying to get in touch with themselves'." "Denial ain't just a river in Egypt." "Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus." "We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like." "It's not the people who are in prison that worry me. It's the people who aren't." "Mr Anaesthetist, if the patient can stay awake, surely you can." "There's no bigger fan of the opposite sex than me, and I have the bills to prove it." "The flashier kind of widow may insist only only sleeping with black men during the first year after death."

All I ever wanted is what others have. Laugh on your one and the world thinks you are an idiot. A kiss that says it all is seldom a first edition. Women have usually nothing to wear and no room to put it away! It is better to be fair than to be popular! The strongest musle of the human body is the tongue. Time is something that makes sure that everything does nog happen at the same moment. Life is not short, it is being dead that lasts such a long time! I intend to live for ever and so far everything goes well. I see things the way they are and say: Why? .................. I dream of things that never were and say: Why not? Life is what happens when you plan to do other things -- John Lennon copernicus said:"men with dick in peanutbutter is fucking nuts." Law of Murphy..... Everything that can go wrong, goes wrong sooner or later......Murphy was an optimist. It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick. A lot of people are in pain out of fear to be happy A lof of people were never happy because they thought it had yet to come. A laugh is the shortest distance between two people. I want to die sleeping, just like my grandfather ..... Not yelling and He said:"I thank you for the wonderful talk." ... I had only been listening. When your youngest child needs sex education, you have badly informed your elder children on the subject. The heart and the brain are neighbours, but they will never be friends. The present is just as mysterious as the future. People who do not want to be disturbed, usually already are disturbed. You can close your eyes for certain facts, but not for the memories. Friendly words do not have to be long, the echo never dies.

Woman know that they are not that pretty any more when they have nothing to wear. What do you have to do when you fall into a river with a sign "Forbidden to swim?" Be yourself, there are enough other people. Morning doesn't mean getting up & working again. It rather means GOD luvs u so much that he lets u live another day 2 do more of the gud things. When u r down & no one is there, don't think of me. When u r crying & no one is there then too don't just think of me, call me up, my incoming is free. Like energy, love can neither be created nor destroyed. It can just be transferred from one girlfriend to another girlfriend. Through each day our goal is to touch one's heart, encourage one's mind & inspire one's soul. May u continually b blessed & b a blessing to others! GUD DAY! Friends come n go, me...??? NEVER! I'll stay and trouble you as long as I can! What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much. God thought that since he couldn't be everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn't be everywhere he made a mother-in-law A reasent studdi haz shon dat peepal hoo aar vary samaart end gud lukeeng maik manee spallings meestaikes... vaat ees yorr opeeniun? Life can b hard & not always fun. But as night brings dark morning brings sun. When life gets tough & no1 seems 2 care give me a call coz I'll always b there! Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?" What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side. Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed? Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV. Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh. How many men do you need for a mafia funeral? Only one. To slam the car boot shut. Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open. Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.

Lightyears ahead! Just a phonecall away! Very funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes. There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full. Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check. What do you call a handcuffed man? - Trustworthy. If you jogged backward ... would you gain weight? I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain. What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool... Q: What's difference between Yoghurt and Australia? A: One has a real live culture. I wonder if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you. How do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head. Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll? A: We don't know. Never happens. Q: Why was the leper caught speeding? A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator. **'MOHABBAT means...'M - aut O - oljhan H - aarna A - asoo B - barbadi B - ewafai A - ndhera T - anhai, I agree? Do you?**** : BLINKING STARS FreNz r 4-evER liKE E starS taT kePt blinkin In E sky. THoUgh we MighT b Far Apart.. BUt I noE taT u r Still Near 2 Me WhnEveR I look up... Gd nite N sleep TiTE : TIME TO SLEEP LyinG oN mY BeD, LoOkiN @ ThE CloCk, I nOe tAt iTs timE 2 zzz. I WonDeR HoW hAv U bEEn todaY... HopE Tat EveryTHinG is FInE.. WiSh u sweeT dReaMz n Sleep TiGhT! : MORNING GREETING Morning greetings doesn't only mean saying Gd Morning, it has asilent message saying: I remember you when I wake up! Have a nice day! : MORNING GIFT Receive my simple gift of 'GOOD MORNING' wrapped with sincerity, tied with care and sealed with a prayer to keep u safe and happy all day long! Take Care! : GOOD MORNING A night hug warms the heart, a night kiss brightens the day, and a good morning to start your day!

: NITE HAS END... Nite has end for another day, morning has come in a special way. May you smile like the sunny rays and leaves your worries at the blue blue bay. : THINGS TO NOTE B4 SLEEPING ThinGs 2 TaKe NoTe WheN u SleeP: 1st-MiSS Me, 2ndThInk oF Me, 3rd-HuG Me, 4th-LoVE mE. TrY 2 SlEEp NoW & ClOSe Ur EyeS. Get PrePaReD 2 DrEaM oF mE! Gd NiTe! : HELLO The Word 'Hello' means H=How R U? E=Everything all right? L=Like 2 hear 4rm U. L=Love 2 C U soon. O=Obviously, I miss you! : I PRAY 4 YOU In tis lovely nite, I pray 2 the blue moon 2 protect U thru the nite, the wind 2 blow away ur stress N the twinkle stars 2 guide U the way, sweet dreams Gd Nite : GOOD MORNING The sun rises into the sky with the warmest smile, he wishes you a good morning, hoping that you have the perfect day. Take care & miss you. : NO MATTER No matter the sky is black or blue, no matter there's stars or moon, as long as ur heart is true, sweet dreams will always be wif u. Gd Nite! : TIME 4 BED da starz r out, da moon is up, 1 more HUG, 1 more smile, KISS u once, KISS u twice, now itz time 4 bed. Close ur @@, n sleep tite! : I CARE MOST I was looking out the windows thinking about the person I care most & the person that came into my mind is U so juz wanna wish u good nite....... : STARS LIGHT Stars light Stars bright u're the only Star I see tonite. I wish I may. I wish I might be there guarding ur dreams tonite, gd nite sweet dreams : NICE FRIENDS A day is going to end again. It is nice to have a friend like U making my everyday seems so great. Thank U my good friend lastly gd nite n sweet dreams... : WASH UP Wash your face and wash your feet! Now itz time 2 fall asleep. Yours eyes are weak N mouth can't speak so hope tis nite shall b nice and sweet. Good Nite. : COLD COLD NITE On this cold cold nite,in My small small rOOm,i Look At The Brite Brite StArS iN tHe DaRk DaRk sKy & DrEaM of uR sWeet sWeet SmiLe on ur CuTe CuTe FaCe! GdNiTe! : WINDOWS OF SOUL Tireness draws across the mind making the body fade flexibility n soon windows of soul begin 2 close N enter the dreamland! OYASUMINASAI! Sweet Dreams! : SOUL BACK FROM DREAMLAND Your soul came back from dreamland reunited with a sleeping senseless piece of yourself slowly open ur eyes realise its a brand new day. Good Morning. : DRACULA KISS As u go 2 bed 2nite, I ordered bats 2 guard u tight. I told some ghosts to dance in white, & 2 make sure u r alryt, i'LL ask dracula 2 kiss ur neck goodnight.. : LAZY BONE WAKE UP! The sun has once brought brightness to earth! lazy bone. it's time 2 wake up gd morning... : AS NITE FALLS As nite falls upon the land, it is time 2 Zz again. With the moon hangin in the starlit sky, i'm here 2 wish U NiteNite! Sweet dreams, cover blanket tight tight

: THE SUN HAD RISED The sun had rised from the east & birds r singing happily & butterflies R around the flowers. It is time to wake up & give a big yawning & say gd morning to u.. : SOMEWHERE OUT THERE somewhere out there beneath the pale moon light someone thinkin of u somewhere out there where dreams come true... nitenite & sweet dreams 2 u : MASTER OF PUPPETS Master of puppets is pulling ur strings, twisting ur mind n smashing ur dreams. blinded by me, u can't c a thing when i count to 3 u shall fall asleep 1,2,3,Zzz . Laloo went to buy a car battery. The shopkeeper asked, "Exide ki de doon?" Laloo replied, "Dono side ki de do." Before marriage every man is Airtel "Aisi aazadi aur kaha." After marriage every man is Hutch "Wherever you go our network follows." Lessons in affection: Say "I care" instd of "Take care"; "C u" inst of "Gud bye"; "i'll dream of u" inst of "gudnite"; "i m here 4u" inst of "I need u". to live a happy life......3 things r essential: Keep brain as ice factory, keep tongue as sugar factory & heart as wax factory.... American: A new born boy had no hands, we made artificial. he became boxing champion. indian: a new born boy had no head, we fitted coconut now he is railway minister. my words r ANTIBIOTIC, my smile is ANALGESIC, my touch is ANTI-INFLAMATORY, my presence is ANTISEPTIC, my sms is ANTIPYRETIC.....that is why u never fall ill. A SARDARJI is in the library , he bangs down a book and says :" too boring, too many characters and no story. LIBRARIAN says : oh! U r the one who took the phone directory away?? No rhythm no reason, no occasion no season, just felt like saying hibeing thinking of u ever since we said bye. Bhikari: 50 paise de de maine 3 din se khana nahi khaya baba. Marwadi: 50 paise nahi 10 rupay dunga pehele bata ki 50p main khana kaha milta hai. Every flower doesnt shows love but roses do it, Every plant cant live without water but cactus do it, Every monkey cant read this sms but u did it. I am in hospital now. After 10 mins, I will be shifted to the operation theatre. The doc told me that I will die if I dont regularly receive your sms. Blue be the sky above u. soft be the road below u. love be the breeze around u. I pray all the happiness surround u.

Listen and silent may be two words with same letters but for me they also mean the same coz I can listen to u even when u r silent. Patni aur gadhi mein kya farak hota hai? Patni to gadhi ho sakti hai lekin gadhi itni gadhi nahi ho sakti ki who patni bane. A Manipuri couple named their 1st baby Bhai Chung Bhutiya. 2nd Bahan Chung Bhutia. 3rd a negro was born they named Kaun Hai Ye Chutiya. I wish 4 u.. Great start on Mon, No obstacles on Tues, No stress on Wed, No worry on Thurs, Smile on Fri, Party on Sat, And great fun on Sun. Have a beautiful week. G O D I S N O W H E R E. Reda this line carefully. It shows your attitude. It can be read in 2 ways. GOD IS NO WHERE or as GOD IS NOW HERE. Compare: love and friend. Blind-bright Mad-glad Alone-group Fear-joy Silent-rouse Blank-complete Selfish-help Short-everlast Danger-safe Think about it. Being visible isnt always a requirement for being close. It just takes some thoughtfulness and concern to capture the heart of your friend. Kuch bhi kar lo ab yeh desh SMS ke bina nahi chalega. SMS bole to S-Sardar M-Manmohan S-Singh Hi ULUU. Wait a sec. Dont get angry. ULLU is Unique, Loving, Likable, Understanding. Missing u gets easier everyday coz though its 1 day further from the last time we saw each other. Its 1 day closer 2 next time we meet again. Jaani jin ke ghar shish eke hote hai. woh, woh, woh, woh, woh, batti bhujha kar kapde badalte hai. The world is round we will meet again. I will ask HOW ARE U? hope ull not ask WHO ARE U?

If a smile cud b raindrop I wud wish that it keep raining thru out ur life so that there may be no place 4 tears in ur life! Keep Smiling. Height of friendshipur best friend runs away with ur wife and u start missing ur friend. Ishwar kare hardin. Aapki khushiyan petrol ke bhav ki tarah badhe aur gham Bipasha ke kapdon ki tarah kamm ho. Have a nice time. A morning greeting doesnt only mean Good Morning. It has a silent message saying I remembered u whn I woke up. Take care May NAVDURGA empower u and ur family with har 9 blessings of NAME, HEALTH, WEALTH, HAPPINESS, HUMANITY, EDUCATION, BHAKTI & SHAKTI on Navratri. Sardarji went to party and introduced his family to his friends. I am Sardar and this is sardarney, this is my kid and this is my kidney. Wife: Why are you home so early? Husband: My boss told me to go to hell. Honey, when we get married, I'll be there to share all your troubles and sorrows." "But I don't have any, my love." "I said, when we get married" When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness Baithe tere khayalo me, kore kagaz pe likha tera naam... Tasvir bhi bana dali aur likha ye Paigam.. 'Zinda ya murda, pakadne vale ko 5000 nakad inam... College ki har Ladki ek Phool hai, Aur use choona ek Bhool hai, Jo usme Mashgul hai, Samjho uski ATKT full hai. Sham hotye hi ye dil udhaas hota hai, tootye khwoabo k siwa kuch na pass hota hai. Tumhari yaad aise waqt bahut aati hai, jab... bandar koi ass pass hota hai. Good looks catch the eyes but Good Personality catches heart. You are blessed with both. FLATTERED??? Don't be, it was sent 2 me, I just wanted YOU 2 read it. Another month, another year, another smile, another tear, another winter, another summer too bt there can never b another U... coz GOD doesn't make d same mistake twice. Do pal ki bhi khushi na mili to kya? Hum umar bhar is gum ko pe lenge. Kya hua jo hamari girl friend nahi, hum aapki girl friend k sahare jilengye.

Dosti karo college wali se, Pyar karo office wali se, Aankh ladao salise, love karo dil wali se, aur mar khao Gharwalise. DREAM makes all things possible. HOPE makes all things work. LOVE makes all things beautiful. SMILE makes all the above possible. So always BRUSH UR TEETH. 1.I wrote ur name on the sand & it got washed away.I wrote ur name in the air & it got blown away.I wrote ur name on my heart &..I got a HEART ATTACK! 2.I would like 2 officially announce that I am already accepting friendshipday gifts in cash, cheques, chocolates, luv & airtime. Avoid rush, Send Now! Thank U! 3.If I got ur smile, I dnt need flowers, If I got ur voice, I dnt need music, If u speak 2 me I dont need anybdy else, If U r my frnd I dont need the world! 4.We've known Each other 4 Quite a while now, do u think we can be more than FRNDS? Will u be my PARTNER 2 rob a BANK !? 5.I saw something in a shops window - it was stunning hot, cute, simply adorable. i was supposed to buy it for u. But then I realised it was my reflection. 6.The World is Round We'll meet again. When we meet I'll ask You "How are You" Hope You'll not ask "Who are You'! 7.NOBODY like U, NOBODY cares for U, NOBODY misses U, NOBODY wants to see U good, NOBODY is Ur best friend, NOBODY is happy with U, ...Dont cry!!! My name is NOBODY. 8.I saw U on ROAD today. U were lukin SO fine, Ur face SO divine, Ur walk SO perfect. My HEART started singing a Sweet Song: WHO LET THE DOGS OUT! 9.A study has proved that all fools use their THUMB while reading a SMS. Now its 2 late dont try 2 change ur finger! Catch another fool! 10.Stars + moon = romantic night, Birds + sky = lovely day, Forest + animals = beautiful world, YOU+YOUR SMILE = "AYYO PAEYI" 11.HI SAHA HERE. PROMISE ME V R GOOD FRNDS. I M LITE U R LAMP. I M WATER U R TANK. I M TARZEN U R MONKEY. 12.Do u know that your Smile takes 1000 People to Death. ? Save The World, , , , , , , , , So Plz start brushing regularly 13.When u get ths SMS, snd it to 1person U luv, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of & 1 u wish to

kill. now keep guessing why i send it to u!!! 14.no visits.... no calls.... no sms.... no mails.... no miscals.... i'm worried... R u in jail again?? 15.5steps to a LOVELY MORNING. CLose ur eyes, take a deep breath, open ur arms, fell ur heartbeet & say 'Its too early, let me sleep a bit more!' GOOD MORNING. Everyone is the age of their heart. To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent that is to triumph over old age. You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. Grow old with me the best is yet to come. If wrinkles must be written upon our brows, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit should never grow old. Don't just count your years, make your years count. A true friend remembers your birthday but not your age. To me, fair friend, you never can be old, For as you were when first your eye I eye'd, Such seems your beauty still. Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art. There is still no cure for the common birthday. Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake. Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece? As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two... Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live. Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. The first hundred years are the hardest. Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. You know you're getting old when all the names in your black book have M.D. after them. Age is a number and mine is unlisted. Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternatives. Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. You're only young once, but you can be immature forever. Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. Q. What's soft and warm when you go to bed, but hard and stiff when you wake up? A. Vomit Q. How can you tell if you eat pussy well? A. You wake up in the morning with a face like a glazed doughnut and a beard like an unwashed paintbrush. Q. Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy? A. He did okay until his business fell off. Q. What's the best thing about marrying a woman with leprosy? A. She can only give you lip once! Q. If they bring shrimp home on shrimp boats, fish home on fish boats, and clams home on clam boats, what do they bring crabs home on? A. The Captains Dinghy! Q. What does 70 year old pussy taste like? A. Depends! Q. What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to use it. Q. Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? A. To stop the snoring before it starts. Q. Why don't men have mid-life crises? A. They stay stuck in adolescence. Q. What's the difference between men and government bonds? A. Bonds mature. Q. What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he is God's gift? A. Exchange him. Q. What did the guy say to his dick after he found that the girl he's getting ready to fuck

has genital warts? A. "Hang on, boy! It's gonna be a bumpy ride!" Q. Why does it take longer to build a blond snowman? A. Because you have to hollow the head out. Q. What is the only game in which the more you lose, the more you have to show for it? A. Strip Poker Some people make us happy others make us sad. But we dont realize that people who make us sad are actually the people who are important for us. Khushiya ho overflow, Masti kabhi na ho low, dosti ka surur chaya rahe, jeb me bhari maya rahe, shohrat ki ho bauchar, aisa aaye aapke liye NAVRATRI ka tyohaar. Na pyaar na mohabbat yaroo, Devdas ka kehna maano yaaro. Na chandramukhi na paaro yaaro, Roz raat ko do pag maaro. Son asks difference between confidence & confidential. Dad says. U r my son I am confident and ur close pal is my son is confidential. Hamare dil mein unki taswir thi magar wo jaan nap aye, Hum unhe kitna chahte the magar wo pehchaan nap aye. 2 indian soldiers capture a Paki, gave him a dice & say, if u throw 1,2,3,4 or 5 we will kill u. Paki asks, what if I get a 6? then throw again. What is the definition of Burning Love It is When at night u reach out 4 the Vaseline gel and pick up Vicks vapourub by mistake. Jab tumhe dekhu mu dil start flying, Tumse baat karne ko I keep trying, Jab tu dur jaye I feel like crying, Are itna tension mat le I was lying. Is dil mei tarane bahut hai, Zindagi jeene ke bahane bahut hai. Kis kis ko SMS karun, Kabakt iss nacheez ke diwane bahut hai. Chaho to dil se mita dena, Chaho to humko bhula dena. Par yeh vaada karo meri DOST, Ki aaye jo hamari yaad, To rona mat sirf muskura dena. Sardar wanted 2 make an STD call 2 Punjab. He wanted 2 save money on phone call. Wht he did? Guess. He went 2 Punjab & made a local call. Mujhe yaad hai wo sham jab gili saso ne kuch kaha tha,

Mujhe gale se laga lo har lamha yehi kah raha tha. If ever u have any problems, come 2 me Ill help u. if u dont have any problems, come 2 me anyways, Ill create some 4 U! After all what r friends for. Kid: whats God? Mom: god is not male not female, not child not adult, not black not white, not gay not straight. Kid: Oh! God is Michael Jackson. Wife: Jab tum DESI pite ho mujhe PARO kehete ho, jab Whisky pite ho toh DARLING kehete ho. Aaj kya piya hai jo CHUDEL keh rahe ho. Husband: Aaj main hosh main hu. Patthar se dosti, jaan se khatra. Sardar s dosti, dimag se khatra. Daru se dosti, liver ko khatra. Humse dosti, tumahare girl friend ko khatra. A sardar was sitting on a mountain top n studying. When people asked him what he was doing he replied - Higher Studies. Gabber jab paida hua to uski maa ne do thappad laga diye. Kis ne puchha kyu mara? Ma boli sala bahar nikal kar bolta hai Kitne aadmi the. Aakho me khusi, labo par hasi. Gam ka kahi naam na ho. Aapko jaha ki sari khushiya mile. In khushiyo ki kabhi sham na ho. Ek baar mombatti ke andar ka dhaga bola, main jalta hu to tu kyu pighalti hai.? Mombatti boli, Jisko dil me jagah di ho vo jab bichudta hai to aasu to nikalte hai.? Why did sardar cut the sides of the capsule and tablets before taking it? To avoid side affects! Friends in heart are worst tenants:1) they capture ur heart 2) they pay no rent 3) they dont vacate easily 4) when they leave they leave tears in ur eyes. Aap ke life mein mithaas ho CADBURY jaisi, Raunak ho NEROLAC jaisi, Khusbu ho AXE jaisi Aur aap rahe hamesha tension free HUGGIES jaisi. What men want? A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & a system to make sure that those women never meet each other. Sum frens r separated by time, sum by differences, sum by distance, sum by pride, but no matter how far u r and how busy we may be ull always b special 2 me. Ek sardar kadhai leke bich raaste khana pakane baitha. Kadhai khali dekh k logo ne pucha sardarji kya bana rahe ho? sardar bola, Sabko bewakoof bana raha hoon. When u find luv treasure it, take care of it, b true to it, make gud use of it, because luv

cums unseen, u can only c it when its gone. Definition of Globalization: Princess Diana , an English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, while traveling in a German car. Being ur friend is my basic necessity. Fighting with u is my timepass. Missing u is my habit. 4getting u means taking my life out of me. Kutte ke bachhe ne apni ma se pucha ma mera baap kaun tha? ma bolipata nahi beta, vo peeche se aaya aur peeche se hi challa gaya U knw what? I like u! u no y? cuz ur d bestu no how? In ur own simple ways u make me feel specialu no when? Since de day v became friends. Sumtimes I sms u, sumtimes I dont, Sumtimes I reply, sumtimes I wouldnt, But no matter how many times that sumtimes is, ull be my friend not 4 sumtimes but always. Mr A: my wife kisses me every night when I get home. Mr B: mine too, but only 2 c if I have been drinking. There r 2 ways of being united By being frozen 2gether or being melted 2gether. Its better 2 b melted in luv than 2 b frozen in differences. Erase all ur worries in life, Save the moments when u r loved, Call divert ur problems to God, Download ur hopes in him and Wait for his Ringtones. No one can ever promise u theyll never hurt u, because at one time or another itll happen. The real promise is if the time u spent 2gether will be worth the pain in the end. Sardarji went to party and introduced his family to his friends. I am Sardar and this is sardarney, this is my kid and this is my kidney. Laloo bada chalak hai Nau baccho ka bap hai Laloo bada nirala he dasva ane wala he... ye andar ki baat hai isme Vajpayee ka hat hai... New Concept of Life Morning = MANDIR Evening = M_A_D_I_R_A Night = M_A_N_D_I_R_A Boy To Girl:- Kash Khuda Ne Mainu Brush Banaya Hunda Ta Main Tere Muh Vich Firna Si. Girl to Boy:- Kash Thora Wada Banaya Hunda Main Flush Vich Ferna Si.

My friend the best quality that I like about U is that U r very sentimental 10% senti 90% mental. You are the only one who can cure my sleepless nites... By giving me your picture to put on my bedside... Will work wonders to keep the mosquitoes outside. Ur my TVS scooty (first love) and my luv 4 U gets like lehar namkeen (control nahi hota) aur jab tum milkar vapas jati ho I feel like pepsi (yeh! Dil Mange MORE...) I just met ur duplicate. I swear it was U. I even shouted ur name... It just ignored me and continued eating it's banana and swinging through the trees!! Barish ka pani aur kagaz ki kashti, Daru ki botal aur achhi si ghasti, yeh Jawani aur do pal ki masti, CONDOM lagana mere yaar yeh LULEE nai itni sasti.... Arz hai..... Dhire se thoko sanam mehangi ka zamana hai......... 6 inch ke item ko zindagi bher chalana hai......... girl goes2 repair an umbrela:---> Man says:- NICHE KA KAPDA NIKALNA PADEGA & ROD BHI DAL NA PADEGA, Girl replys KUCH BHI KARO LEKIN PAANI ANDHER NAHI AANA CHAHIYE.... I live by faith and not by sight. So whether I see u or not, sms u or not, I know that u r still the same.a friend worth keeping. Gf to bf wil u luv me after marriage. Bf sure, but only if ur husband allows me 2 do that. What is love? Love is a special feeling that can only begin when u open up ur heart and let someone in. Santa oye banta apni biwi ko itne dard me hospital ki jagah Pizza Hut kyu le jar aha hai. Khote Pizza Hut me delivery free hai. I dont expect 2 b the most important person in ur life. Thats 2 much 2 ask 4 Ill b happy. If 1 day when u hear my name u smile n say Hey dats my sweet friend name too. Adarniya, Ati-Pratapi, Ati-Tejasvi, Dayalu, Kripalu, Jag-Siromani, Purn-Purusotam, Mahaan, Rajkumar Amit Apko Yaad Kar Rahye Hai!!! Jaldi Hazir Ho. Tin Tuna Tin Tuna Tuna Tin Maho Maho Maho Yaku Majula Bhimpataka Dumpataka Matucha Ya Hula Ho Hula Ho Nagocha... Congratulations! Now U r a AADIVASI !!! When things go rong n sadness fills ur heart n tears flow in ur eyes, just let me know coz i want 2 b there 4 U. I'm selling TISSUES. Buy 1 Get 1 FREE..

Friendship is a relation where no charges of activation, free incoming, free outgoing with roaming facility all over the world. Ghungat mein tujhe dekha to deewana hua, sangeet ka tarana hua, masti ka mastana hua, jaise hi ghungat uthaya is duniya se ravana hua! We met it was by chance, we met again it was luck, we became frenz it was destiny, we are still frenz its a decision, we will always be frenz, thats a promise. Attention! There's horse race but the turf club horses are on strike. Donkeys will run instead.... so stop reading SMS and report 4 duty immediately. GO.... Common Go ! ! ! Jabse nazre mili apse... mujhe kuch ho gaya hai! Na raato ke neend rahi na din ka chain bacha hai... yeh koi pyar nahi, mujhe conjunctivitis ho gaya hai !! Our friendship means so much to me that if we were the last people on a sinking ship and we have only one life jacket, i'll mm............ ummm......... i'll miss u yaar... Tum pass aaye! yun muskurae! tumne na jane kya sitam dhaaye! arye zalim aaj colgate se brush ku nahi kar kar aaye? If U save this message it means i'm cute, if U edit, still i'm cute. if u 4wad it means U r spreading that i'm cute and if erase; YOU are jealous of me coz i'm cute. Never take 4 granted every person close 2 UR heart, coz U might wake up one day and realize that U've lost a Diamond coz U were too busy in collecting stones...... LIFE without FRIENDS is... L-onely I-nsecure F-ull of doubt & E-mptiness LIFE with FRIENDS is... L-ight & easy I-nspiring F-ull of hope & E-nthusiasm dats why I need YOU! Ek jaam ulfat k naam, ek jaam mohabat k naam, ek jam wafa k naam, poori bottle bewafa k naam............. cheers! Dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening, love like its heaven on earth. Life is beautiful with friend like YOU!!! 1 out of 4 people on this planet is mentally unbalanced. Think of ur 3 closest friends, if they seem OKAY. Then You Are THE ONE !

You've got STYLE... CLASS... FIGURE... CHARM... FACE... & BRAINS ! Do you know what have I got? I got the Wrong Number. SORRY! Jab aap haste ho to pata chalta hai insan pehle bandar tha. Angry? Lekin jab aap gussa hotye ho to pata chalta hai ki insaan aaj bhi bandar hai. I... had... a very weird DREAM last night, I saw that all the DEVILS of the world have DIED! Plz msg me. I'm really worried about U... When you fall in river there is boat, when u fall in a well there is a rope. But when u fall in love there is no hope! A-G O-G LO-G PADO-G main hu mobile maan mouji, karta hu SMS tum bhi karoji. 1 2 ka 4, 4 2 ka 1 my name is LAKHAN your name is DHAKKAN... God allows life to be rocky, his intention is not to let the rocks grind you into dust but to polish you to become a brilliant gem........ stay precious. Jise samjha lehar pepsi woh nikla jahar pepsi, jise samjha coca-cola woh nikla dhokha cola, so aaj k baad no soft drinks only wine and whisky; kabhi na risky. What is the difference between watch & girl? Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai. Doosri bigadti hai to "chalu" ho jati hai...! Ghandhi Ji nahi rahye, Nehru Ji bhi guzar gaye. Meri bhi tabyat kharab reheti hai. Na Jane is desh ka kya hoga. One night the moon said to me:- If UR love makes U cry why don't U leave UR love? I asked the moon:- Would U ever leave UR sky? #NEWS FLASH# Police are looking 4 sum1 described as gorgeous, sexy, intelligent, funny & amazing. U r safe but where the hell shall I hide. I am really Serious, last night I dreamt of U. This morning my first thought was U. I think of U the whole day. I think I Like U. Tomorrow i'll think of V then W, X, Y & Z. Tujhe kya pata gum kise kehte hai... arye Zaalim tujhe kya pata gum kise kehte hai... tune to hamesha cellotape he use kiya hai. Taj Mahal kya cheez hai, mein tere liye isse badi imarat banaonga. Mumtaz to mar k dafanai gayi thi, mein tujhe jinda dafanaunga. Sweet candies are nice to eat, sweet words r lovely to listen but sweet friends r difficult to find. OH MY GOD! How did U find ME? A simple poem 4 U: "Forgetting U is hard to do, Forgetting me is up to U! Forget me not, Forget me never & U will have my LOVE Forever!" No Matter How Sad, No Matter How Blue, I Feel Better Just Thinking of U. I'm

Happier Each Time U Message Me, Coz I Get To Know That U Miss Me TOO... Love is like a pendulum which hangs between tears and smiles. Days will turn into weeks & weeks will turn into years. I will remember U through silent tears. Arz kiya hai, Matlab ke duniya mein kaun kisika hota hai... SMS bhi wohi karta hai... Jiska free hota hai... Love is not blind. It sees more & not less but because it sees more it is willing to see less. 1 Chamatkari Masjid. Jo Khoti Niyatwala Jaye Wo Gayab. Sachin Gaya Sachin Gayab, Amitabh Gaya Wo Gayab, Salman Gaya Wo Bhi Gayab, Bipasha Gayi Oh! Allah he Gayab!! I wish I was a tear in UR eyes, then I would run down on UR cheeks and die on UR lips. I wish U were a tear in my eye, then I would never cry out of the fear of losing U. D shortest distance between a problem & its solutions is the distance between your knees & the floor. The one who kneels to GOD can stand up to anything!! My Eyes - Miss U My Feelings - Love U My Hand - Need U My Mind - Call U My Heart - Just 4 U My Life - Is U I'll die without U. I LOVE YOU... aisa bajuwali keheti hai. Pehle kabhi kisi pe DIL nahi aaya, Tumhe Dekha to Tumpar Dil aa gaya. Tumhare pyar mein pagal hokar itne Message kare saala 5 Hazar ka BILL aagaya... Dad ne kaha ghar chod do, Ma ne kaha paro chod do, Paro ne kaha sharab chod do, Chandramukhi ne kaha timepass karna chod do, Ek din TUM maat kehna SMS bhejna chod do. Na phoolo mein na bahar mein, na botel mein na jar mein, na bike pe na car mein, na peace mein na war mein, Abto hamare din Guzarta Hai Aapke SMS K Intazar Mein. Don't treat friendship like a crystal ball, U might break it. Treat it like a football, take it wherever U go. Love is sometimes like a poisoned mushroom. You can't tell if it's the real thing until it's too late. Kadam kadam pe hawaon se taluk rakhna, dosti k daur pe dosti ka aasra

rakhna. Humari yadon ki khushboo zarur ayegi aap bus apna mobile switch on rakhna!! I don't expect 2 be d most imp person in UR life, dats 2 much 2 ask for... wat wuld make me happy is if 1 day anywhere U hear my name, U wil smile & say, "Hey! That's my FRIEND!" Roshni chand se hoti hai sitaro se nahi, roshni chand se hoti hai sitaro se nahi, aap k cell mein light humare SMS se hoti hai, aapki battery se nahi. I chased love I found friendships, I chased desires I found hopes, I chased reality I found dreams, I chased a nice buddy and I found YOU ! ! Aap kya jano hum kitna yaad karte hai, mano ya na mano, har pal fariyad karte hai, roz khat likhte hain CARTOON NETWORK ko aur bus aphiko dikhane ki maan karte hain. Ek tum ho ki kitane aachye ho, ek tum ho ki kitne pyare ho, ek tum ho ki kitne sundar ho, ek tum ho ki sachye ho, ek hum hai ki jhooth bole ja rahe hai Not every flower can represent LOVE but roses did it. Not every plant can stand thirst but cactus did it. Not every monkey can read SMS but U did it.. U r Ultimate U r Logical U r Lovely U r Unpredictable In short cut U r "ULLU" Arz kia hai... Zindagi ke har dagar aur har mode par milte hai dost aap jaise. Naa janye bhagwan ne itne "Manufacturing Defect" kiye kaise. R U looking 4 sum1 who wud b faithful n true... sum1 2 share UR joys n UR sorrows... sum1 2 be at UR side in time of need? Try the YELLOW PAGES:) A deep friendship is like a rainbow. When the perfect amounts of happiness & tears are mixed, the result is a colorful bridge between two hearts. Time isn't what makes a friendship last, its care & devotion that keeps the tie between the souls. True friends never part, maybe in distance but never in heart... Khuda k Ghar Se Kuch Gadhe Farar Ho Gaye, Kuch to Pakde Gaye Kuch Hamare Yaar Ho Gaye. If I ever sent U a bunch of roses I will put a fake one in between and will say our friendship will last till the last one dies! When god made parts, he thought of hearts. And for each heart a sweetheart. And among those sweethearts he made 1 sweetest heart, And That's Ur's. In the rhythm of life we sumtimes find ourselves out of tune, bt as long as

there r frenz to provide the melody... the music plays on!!! Make Make Make Make a a a a Heart - That Never Breaks Smile - That Never Fails Touch - That Never Pains Relationship - That Never Ends.

Friendship a little more smile & little less frown, little more we & little less I, a little more laugh & little cry. Friendship simply is YOU and I. 3 3 3 3 3 1 Glances = 1 Smile Smiles = 1 Meeting Meetings = 1 Kiss Kisses = 1 Proposal Proposals = 1 Marriage Marriage = 3 Words, "Iski To Gai"

Sincere apology:- If U don't like any of my SMS & don't like 2read, then plz don't hesitate, feel free to.... Throw UR mobile. Hum kabhi apno se khafa ho nahi saktye, dosti k rishtye bewafa ho nahi saktye. Aap bhalye humne bhulake so jao, hum aap ko yaad kiye bina so nahi saktye... GOOD NIGHT. The nite is dark the moon is high, I stop my car, U ask why? I come close 2U, U feel shy. I tell U those 3 words... aai laa puncture. I've 2 tell U sumthing, but i dont wanna upset U. My doc has found stones in my liver, sand in my kidney... n... U in my HEART ! ! ! Here r 1000 Good Night KISSES 4U, take 1 now put d other 999 under UR pillow & whenever U need 1, feel free 2 take 1, just remember its from ME... Good Night. Ye-mere dost, mere marne k baad sirf aansu he bahana, jayada meri yaad aaye to merye peeche na chalye aana, yahin bahut dukhi kar liya hai, wahan aa k mat pakana!! Dress ma tame sara lago chho, Punjabi ma tame pyara lago chho; Sari ma koi di joya nathi,Mate tame Kunwara lago chho; Jivan ma JAS nathi, Prem ma RAS nathi; Dhandha ma KAS nathi, Javu chhe swarg ma, pan eni koi TTC BUS nathi :-) Dil na dardo ne pinaro shu jane, prem na rivajo ne jamano shu jane; Chhe ketli taklif kabar ma, Te uparthi phool muknaro shu jane! Zindagi ne jivvani Filsufi samji lidhi, Je khushi aavi jivan ma, aakhri samji lidhi! - Mariz

Shu karu fariyaad tari, Fariyaad ma yaad che Fari fari ne yaad tari, Ej mari fariyaad che! Tu hase che jyare jyare tyare tyare tara gaal ma khada pade che. Hu vicharu chu betho betho ke mara shivay aa khada ma ketla pade che! Doobta jeevan na tame swaas chho, kahu kem ke tame kaink 'khaas' chho. Tame phool nahi pan jamin par ugta ghaas chho, sachu kahu, tame ek moto Traas chho. Loko kahe chhe ke - Hasya tena ghar vasya! Parantu e kon jane chhe ke - Ghar vasya pachi ketla hasya? God saw me hungry, he created pizza . He saw me thirsty, he created pepsi . He saw me in dark, he created light . He saw me without problems, he created YOU. TEACHER== Name four members of the cat family? STUDENTS== Daddy cat,Mummy cat and two kittens ! Police man== Stop, stop, your headlights are not working. The Man== Move, move, even the brakes are not working. Why does history keep repeating it self? Because we weren't listening the first time ! A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house...still he was in jail.......why? coz all the 6 were firebrigade staff ! An Astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope. A sardar was observing him, Suddenly a star falls, seeings that sardar shouted "kya nishana hai" "Doctor, doctor, will i be able to play the violin after the operation?" "yes of course...." "Great ! i never could before" When ur life is in darkness pray to God ask him to free u from darkness and if after you pray and your still in darkness, please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL ! Hitlar bhi chala gaya Veerupan Bhi mar gaya Saddam bhi pakda gaya Bin laden ka bhi pata nahi Tum bhi dikhte nahin Lagata hai dharti pe achhe din a gaye

================================ Arz Kiya hai Madmast Havayeen hai Mausam bhi suhana hai Bandar bhi padha raha hai Kya EDUCATIONAL zamana hai ============================================== i want to meet u i want to talk with u i want to spent time with u i want to admire u but cant this Stupid Gate keeper is saying

The ZOO is CLOSED =============================================== Dubta jivan na swas chho tame mara jivan no viswas chho tame phool nahi pan jamin par ugtu ghaas chho tame sachu kahu to jindgi no bahu moto TRAAS chho tame ========================================== God apun se puchha Kidar jayenga ? Heaven Ki Hell? Apun bola Hell Kyon ki apun ko malum tum udarich milenga jaha tum hoenga woh bhi heaven mafaq lagengana beedu ========================================================= 1 Barsat ki raat -ek bhigi ladki -bhiga badan -bhigi zulfe -bhige hoth -hum dono ki nazre mili -usko dekh ke aisa laga ki

-usko kal 100 % sardi hogi ========================================================= Dharti ne Akash se kaha Akash ne suraj se kaha Suraj ne Chand se Kaha Chand ne Sitaro se kaha Sitaro ne badal se kaha Badal ne pawan se kaha Pawan ne pahad se kaha pahad ne sagar se kaha Sagar ne Sahil se kaha Sahil ne ganga se kaha Ganga ne Tulsi se Kaha KYOMKI SAAS BHI KABHI BAHU THI ========================================================= ===

Welcome to www.human.com Enter Password * ** *** **** ***** ******* Processing Please wait Access Denied u r not human try www.monkey.com ========================================================= === Shair By SARDAR Khidki pe jake dekhato raste pe koi nahi tha Khidki pe jake dekhato raste pe koi nahi tha

Raste pe jake dekha to khidki pe kou nahi tha ========================================================= ======== Raat bhar SMS kiya to raat kat gai Raat bhar SMS kiya to raat kat gai wah wah

Subah uthkar balance dekha to waat lak gai ================================================== Wife : Hun tamari zindgi ni kitab chhu Husband : Ej to taklif chhe , Diary hot to dar varse badli nakhat ================================================= Baap Bete se : Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye? Beta : Mujhe chand jaisi biwi chahiye jo raat ko aye aur subah chali jaye ========================================================= === Smiling is the second best thing u can do by ur lips offcourse u know the first ? -Stop Thinking weird ......stupid itskeeping your mouth shut ========================================================= === This SMS is strictly intended for smar and cute readers

Since u received this There must be a technical error for that senderdeeply appologised ========================================================= ==== When u r Born

Cloud parted God appeared b4 all mankind and proclaimed Sorry, No Exchange Or Refund available for the defect Ek Sardar apna mobile samundar ke pani me phekakar bolta hai, "Aja, upar aja". His friend asked, "Pani me se upar kaise ayega?". Sardar - Kyo nahi ayega, DOLPHIN hai. Sardar engaged to a girl and then broke the engagement because she was a virgin. Jo aaj tak kisi ke kaam nahi aayi, woh mere kya kaam aayegi ...bolo tara ra ra ... Definition of a WIFE ... "A wife is someone who stands by her husband through all his troubles. He would not have had .. if he had stayed single". A sardarji goes to bank for withdrawing cash. Lady cashier asked: so so ke loge? Sardarji replied:Khade khade bhi chalega. Sardar1:- Marte Waqt Aadmi Ko Kya Dena Chahiye? Sardar2:-Birla cement Sardar1:-Kyun? Sardar2:- Kyunki Is Cement Mein Jaan Hain A Sardar had called an Englishman for lunch. There was curd on the table. The guest asked what is this? The Sardar didn't know English, he said "Milk sleeping in night,morning becomes tight" A sardar was drawing money from ATM. The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks(****). The first sardar replies, " Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong. Its 1258." What is the height of stupidity? 2 sardarjies sitting on a motorcycle & fighting for a window seat

Did you hear about the sardarji who is so rich he has two swimming pools, one of which is always empty? It's for people who can't swim! Santa Singh: Will this bus take me to Jalandhar? Driver: Which part? Santa Singh: All of me, of course! Dress ma tame sara lago chho, Punjabi ma tame pyara lago chho; Sari ma koi di joya nathi, Mate tame Kunwara lago chho; Bolo chhe ichcha? Jivan ma JAS nathi, Prem ma RAS nathi; Dhandha ma KAS nathi, Javu chhe swarg ma, pan eni koi BUS nathi Dil na dardo ne pinaro shu jane, prem na rivajo ne jamano shu jane; Chhe ketli taklif kabar ma, Te uparthi phool muknaro shu jane! Zindagi ne jivvani Filsufi samji lidhi, Je khushi aavi jivan ma, aakhri samji lidhi! - Mariz Shu karu fariyaad tari, Fariyaad ma yaad chhe Fari fari ne yaad tari, Ej mari fariyaad chhe! Tu hase chhe jyare jyare, tyare tyare tara gaal ma khada pade che. Hu vicharu chhu betho betho ke mara shivay aa khada ma ketla pade che! Doobta jeevan na tame swaas chho, kahu kem ke tame kaink 'khaas' chho. Tame phool nahi pan jamin par ugta ghaas chho, sachu kahu, tame ek moto Traas chho. Loko kahe chhe ke - Hasya tena ghar vasya! Parantu e kon jane chhe ke - Ghar vasya pachi ketla hasya? Sunsaan sarak k sookhay hoi peepal Ki Tuti Hui Tehnee k Murjhaye Hue Pattay Pay Baithay Hue bhoot Kay Pair Say Nikaltay Hue Khoon Kay Beemar Bacteria............HOW R U?????? ***************************************************************** If ever in your life U R very sad & lonely & feel that U have lost every thing, I will come, Hold your hand, take U 4 Walk on a Bridge & Show U where 2 jump From !!!... ***************************************************************** Bottle main Pepsi say zyaada....used Socks main smell say bhi zyaadaa.... Adnan Sami main charbi say zyaada... Mithai main sweet say zyaada...Pakistan main coruption say zzyaada... I LOV U ***************************************************************** Today, tommorow and yesterday there will be one heart that would always beat for you You know Whose??? your Own Stupid!!!

***************************************************************** Tum sa koi dusara zameen par hua to rab se sikayat hogi.... Ek to jhella nahi jata dusra aa gaya to kya halat hogi!!! ***************************************************************** I have the "I",I have the "L",I have the "O",I have the "V",I have the "E",... so pls can I have "U"? ***************************************************************** What is sweet but not Honey, Precious but not Money, Bright but not Sunshine, Improves with time but not Wine??? Its....OUR FRIENDSHIP!!! ***************************************************************** Har koi pyar ke liye tarapta hai, Har koi pyar ke liye rota hai, mere pyar ko galat mat samajna, pyar to dosti mein bhi hota hai. ***************************************************************** Chaand ko garoor hai ki uske paas noor hai, to kya hua.... Mujhe bhi garoor hai ki mera Dost Langoor hai! ***************************************************************** u r a donkey d 4 decent o 4 outclass n 4 nice k 4 kind e 4 excelent y 4 young ***************************************************************** I am in hospital now. After 5 minutes, I will be transfered to a surgery room. The doctor told me, I will die if I stop RECEIVING YOUR SMS. ***************************************************************** If i cud reach up and hold a star 4 every time u made me smile the entire evening sky wud b in the palm of my hand. ***************************************************************** My cell phone loves it when u sms: its little face lights up, bursts in to beeps and has ur name written all over it. I think u should sms more often, i think it likes u! ***************************************************************** When i am not messaging u it does not mean that i have forgotten u, i am just giving u time to MISS ME!! *****************************************************************

Aap jaise log hume kuch khas lagte hai. mann me har waqt hum ek aas rakte hai, jaane kab aa jaye sms aapka is liye cell ko dil ke pass rakte hai ***************************************************************** Think Big... Think Positive... Think Smart... Think Beautiful... Think Great... I know, that is too much for u, so here is a shortcut... JUST THINK ABOUT ME! ***************************************************************** 5 great people: 1.Quaid woh to ab rahe nahi 2.Wasim Akram woh kisi kaam ka nahi 3.Aishwarya Rai apni pohanch say bahir 4.baqi rahe aap aur hum So keep in Touch ***************************************************************** Life without u is impossible, u r in my breath and blood. i cant stay for a second without u, if u r not there i am dead oye hello i am talking about OXYGEN ***************************************************************** .....the Heart Beat of my Phone .....is ur Message Tone ***************************************************************** VERY... Cute, Gorgeous, Genious, Goodlooking, Intellegent, One in Trillions...I think its enuff abt ME,wht abt U.... ***************************************************************** Sweet candies are nice to eat Sweet words are easy to say but, sweet ppl are hard to find OH MY GOD! how did u find me. SMILES R LIKE BIRDS THAT FLY FROM FACE 2 FACE...MAY UR LIPS GIVE THEM A better NEST So that They can live there forever, SO KEEP SMILING.. GOOD MORNING.

A specl Lunch 4 u 2day: a Plate of Love, a Bowl of Peace, a Spoon of Hope, a Fork of Care, n Glass of Prayer. Have a great Day. Hope dis morning wil be A mazing B lazing C olorful D elightful E xhuberant F ancy G orgeous H oly I mmaculate J oyful K lassic L asting M assive N aughty O xyrich P lush Q uenchy R ustic S uperb T emptful U ltimate V elvety W onderful X cellent Y ankee Z appy For you..<">. sweet good morning.. Evry Flr s ss -r wll Evry Sss s ttl -Fight wll d Evry Frd s Jwl -Kp wll Yr Hrt.. Have a nice sunday...

We nevr get wat v want, v nevr want wat v get, v nevr hav wat v like, v nevr like wat v hav. Stil v live, stil v luv, stil v hope this is LIFE. How do u CUT roads????? By LAUGHING..... Because "Haste Haste Cut jaye Raste" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------Luv and Kuch are going to a village & in between comes A well. Luv falls into the well. Why??? Because Luv (love) is blind !!!!! Now , Kuch also jumps inside. Why?? Because Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?.. ??? socho....... nahi pata..?? Answer- D'Cold......Chan ki saans - D'cold Chalo ab batao Jackie Chan ki bahu ka naam kya hai ? This is quite simple.. ..... Ans: D'Cold again.......Kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahuthi :-)) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------A beggar meets another beggar. A software engineer meets another software engineer. Both of them ask the same question to each other. What is the question ??? So, Which Platform are you Working on ???.... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------Question: What will u call a person who is leaving India?? Answer : Hindustan Lever (Leaver). Question: What will u call a person who leaves India, but doesn't travel much?? Answer: Hindustan Lever Ltd (Limited). -------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q - RAM SITA HAI ... TO RAM KAUN HAI ?? Ans: TAILOR Q - SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI Ans: Sita MEMORY hai -------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q -Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha ? Ans: Adidas. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q - Prasad asks Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble

brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar. why ?? why ?? Ans: Tendulkar is an opener -------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q - What is similarity between "Satynarayan Pooja" and "Indian Cricket Team" Ans: Dono ke ant me "Prasad" aataa hai -------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q - Who is Joe? "Kambakth ishq" - Because "Kambakth ishq hai Joe!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------And of course, the grand final... The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie 'heart is umbrella'. Which movie did he really want to see? Dil Chata Hai... SARDARJI: ME TO 1 BACHCHE KE BAD HI NASBANDHI KARWALUNGA. BIWI:Aap bhale karvalo me to 3, 4 bachcho ke bad hi operation karvaungi. Ur SMILE can b compared 2a ROSE, Ur VOICE can b compared 2a CUKOO, Ur INOCENCE can b compared 2a KID, but in STUPIDITY... U'hv no comparison! U R D BEST.... Hum ne jindagi ki shuruaat 's' se ki. S se SURAJ S se SUBAH S se SWAGAT S se SAAZ S se SANGIT par fir 's' se SAMAY ne aeisi karvat badli ki 's' se hamari SHAADI ho gai. Aur fir jivan ka arth 's' se SAANS,SASURAL, SALA ,SALI, SASUR aur 'SANKAT' ho gaya .To hum 's' se SAMADHI lene wale hai, is liye 's' se thoda dur rahena mere yaro. Bapu car ni bettry badalva gaya. Mechenic : Exide ni nakhu? Bapu : Bey side ni nakhi de ! SARDARJI ki shadi ke 3 din bad uski biwi boli: "maine aapse shadi isliye ki hai ke hamare bachhe ho, isliye nahin ke mujhe latrine khul kar ho." Ek sardar ki umbrella mein hole tha. kisine puchha pape umbrella me hole kyon? sardar bola oye barish ayegi to pata kese chalega!!!! Sardar ki jhang jal gai. Dr ne BURNOL aur VIAGRA likhke di. sardar: burnol to samja par

viagra kyu ? Dr: Usse blanket uncha rahega ! Munabhai mbbs ke style mein... Jo deekra, ek msg vachvanu ne ek msg forward karvanu... majja ni life! Kemke bill to......... Pappa nu a!! 2 sardar ped pe bethkar ga rahe the. Achanak ek sardar ulta latak ke gane laga. Dusre ne pucha ulta kyon latka hai? Sardar bola OYE side B ga raha hoon.Ari. What is diff Between the GIRLFRIEND & MOTORBIKE? A Motor bike is first kicked & then used.Where as a GIRLFRIEND is first used and then kicked!