32 Lessons: Getting A Woman In The Mood

CRJames.com | February 12, 2014 | Author of SuperSeductionPower.com

Introduction
Hey.. how's it going? I wanted to create and share a quick report based on simple rules/lessons for keeping a woman in the mood and/or reviving a 'not so good' sex life. Although it's structured for guys in relationships, the rules apply to single guys, too. It kind of operates like a list report (i.e. 154 ways to create sexual tension), except this a list of 'simple lessons' - and they're not exactly described in terms of a sexual tension tactic or a sexual value tactic. However, they are very important lessons to keep in mind. If you have any questions, let me know. I basically compiled this list from (1) commonly asked questions, (2) personal discoveries and (3) lessons/tips/secrets from some of my paid reports. At the end of the report, there is a checklist for all 27 32 lessons. I'll probably end up adding some more as time goes on. I haven't really decided. << As of today February 11, 2014, I've already added 5 more items.>> In the meantime, you can use the checklist (at the end of the report) as a way of rating yourself and deciding which areas you need to improve. Don't skim because the lessons build on each other. Enjoy! If you have any questions, let me know.

1. The Master Lesson: If you want a woman to crave sex more often,

then you must make different decisions.

It seems obvious, but most guys never deeply internalize this as a simple rule. And as a result, they end up spending more time talking about why they're frustrated, instead of making some sort of an adjustment. It doesn't matter if your sex life needs a major overhaul or some minor tweaking, reading the rest of this list should give you a good starting point to making different decisions. But even if you didn't read this report, it's important to know the simple rule that if you want a woman to react differently towards you, you must make different decisions. Think of different ways to: communicate with her & interact with her. Think about different ways to make her experience different types of emotions. Is she always frustrated, sad, happy, excited, motivated when she's with you? Think of different ways to impact what she thinks about. Do you take her mind on mental journeys? Do you challenge her to think about things she never thought of before? How entertained is she when she's with you? Do you provide pleasure and urge creation? How good are you are building tension? Have you ever thought about new ways to create sexual tension? 2. Always think in terms of Urge Creation
For example, imagine a situation where a guy took his two young daughters into the ice cream store. And then he had them pick out their favorite ice cream. But he only ended up buying one of the daughters some ice cream as he walked out of the store. It's easy to see how that particular sequence of events is going to make the 'ice cream-less' daughter crave some ice-cream. That sequence of events built a predictable expectation - which created an URGE. Urges have to be created (naturally or planned). Here's another silly scenario. Imagine a guy who literally feeds his wife a small-medium sized meal every 2 hours. Although she's not over-eating, he has it so mechnically structured that she literally NEVER gets a chance to have a craving/urge to eat. If you don't have a good Urge Creation strategy, then you can end up making it so

that your woman NEVER gets a chance to crave sex. I refer to this as 'sexual tension zapping'. And not only is it very common, but it could accidentally condition a woman to be repulsed by sex. Again, urge creation (and/or sexual tension) must be created! In the ice cream example: If her Dad never made the decision to drive to the ice cream shop, that URGE would have never taken place (in terms of parallel conditions). "Creating an urge (when you look at it from a simple perspective) is just based on creating the right sequence of events that corresponds to a highly probable emotional response." As humans, we are constantly on both sides of urge creation in various aspects of life. And the point is: Creating an urge is something any guy can do. As far as simple examples, think of ways to manipulate pleasure. Get her to expect pleasure. Get her to imagine pleasure. Make her experience of sequence of pleasure.

3. Never beg for sex I've talked about this before, but here is the full explanation of what begging does. Most guys who are looking for more sex in their relationship will at times 'beg' for sex. I use to do it until I started to pay attention to how certain behaviors/decisions/actions/reactions impact (1) a woman's desire for sex, (2) how she perceives the guy and (3) how it frames sex in a bad way. To give you the short version, 'begging for sex' (especially when done repeatedly) not only frames the guy as being a low valued guy but it conditions her to be repulsed by sex in a very subtle way (that is beyond what she is aware of). Imagine that you're getting ready to buy a new TV for your living room. There's a 99% chance that you'll buy it a few hours from now (or tomorrow). However, the annoying salesperson keeps begging you to do it right this second. "Get it now. Get it now. Come on. Get it now. Please. Please. Pleeeeeeeeeeeease. Get it now. Come on." More than likely, that would have a negative impact on your decision and it could de-motivate you to the point where you end up cancelling out on your future decision. Again, this is the short version. Basically, 'begging for sex' does a lot of other little things that negatively impact a woman's desire to crave it.

4. Create sexual tension Specifically, make it a point to go through a sexual tension building phase prior to initiating sex.
Most guys in relationships will just ask for sex as if it's an idea. When most women need to be warmed up first (via sexual tension building - which is any sort of action that moves her closer to being aroused and/or gets her mind prepared for sex). It's better to have a rule where you will always 'build tension' first (whether you follow my methods, someone else's methods or your own methods) and then initiate sex. The idea is to train yourself to always do something first prior to initiating sex - even if you're going to do something super simple like caress her for awhile and tell her you love her. And although there are advanced ways of building tension that are more psychologically complex, if you wanted to operate with a reliable strategy that is simple in structure, just focus on a 'sequence of moves' that generally provides some form of physical pleasure (i.e. back rub, foot rub, caressing, kissing) and/or emotional pleasure (compliments, thoughts of sex, sharing good times together, doing something new together) or a mixture of both.

5. Understand her ideal conditions for sex

As we just mentioned earlier, most guys in relationships will just ask for sex as if it's an idea, even though most women need to be warmed up first (via sexual tension building that gets her mind prepared for sex). In addition to that, the guy needs to account for the conditions in which sex is ideal for her.

A common mistake is the guy assuming that just because he's willing to do it at the drop of a hat regardless of the surrounding conditions, that automatically she's like that, too. But, it's not consistent with how women think. Even if you go back to when you first started having sex with girls, most of the time (even when they seemed really horny) they were over-thinking. They wanted it to be special. They wanted it to mean something. They didn't want the sex to make them seem slutty/easy. They didn't want the sex to happen too fast.

The didn't want the sex to mess things up. You would think that the fact that her little panties were moist that it was a done deal - BUT NOPE! - if her conditions weren't met (i.e. environmental conditions, perception-based conditions, etc), then all bets were off.
Even today, if the conditions aren't met, it doesn't matter if she's wet horny. Jim's wife, Sharon may have a pattern of not being comfortable with having sex when the kids (or grandkids) are up. And since that's the reality, it's going to be in Jim's best interest to initiate sex during her ideal conditions (i.e. situational conditions, emotional conditions, etc.) Does she prefer to do it when she has lots of energy? Does she prefer to do it in a romantic environment? Does she prefer to do it post-showering? Etc.

It really is worth it to pay attention to these things. And if you wanted to go beyond that, then really pay attention to conditions. You can actually learn a lot when a woman's not in the mood. For the most part, I tend to think that there are many layers of intelligences that are unaccounted for. For example, I think there is a certain 'un-talked about' type of intelligence that accounts our ability to think in terms of conditions. To use an analogy, a dumb cat will jump on the stove get burned run out of the house and never enter that house again. A slightly smarter cat will jump on the stove get burned and never jump on the stove again. An even smarter cat will jump on the stove get burned and never jump on the stove when the light is on. You get the point. If we wanted, we could infinitely build up towards a Super Einstein Cat, that has a higher level of 'cognitive endurance' and willingness to pay attention and operate with a high level of awareness. And similarly, we could works backwards describing a Super Dumb Cat who over-generalizes to such a high extreme that he no longer enters houses/buildings anymore + he completes stops 'jumping'.

But again, you get the point. If you make it a habit of taking a 'genius cat' approach to understanding what 'sexual tension tactics' get her aroused + 'what are her conditions in which sex is ideal', then by default, you'll never over-react when she's not in the mood. In fact, you'll look at it as an opportunity to increase your awareness' and understand her conditions better. On the flipside... Do you know someone who ended up getting rejected by his female partner so much that he reached a point where he just completely stopped initiating sex? That is classic over-generalizing. It's equivalent to the cat who makes the decision to never jump again! 6. Realize that she is unique. This is a big one. It falls in the category of something everyone thinks they know, but very few guys actually 'get it'. I've literally had hundreds of guys ask me for ways to get their wives/girlfriends turned on and the funny thing is all of these guys remind me of how I use to be. And that is: not fully understanding that women are very unique. On a big picture level, they're generally the same. And this is what creates the confusion. In other words, they're the same in the sense that... They all want to feel beautiful and desired. They all want to feel special/unique. They all want a special guy that understands her. They all want to be loved, appreciated and admired. Although, they are very unique when it comes to what it takes to make her experience those feelings. That's the part that confuses some guys. Imagine trying to teach a guy (in a very simple way) how to understand his woman only to see him 'lash back' with a 'dude I just want to keep it simple'.

I love that response, by the way! Because if you listen closely, it almost sounds as if the guy believes that he lives in a universe where his personal desire to keep things simple awards him with the same benefits that another guy gets by deciding to operate with a higher level of cognitive energy. That's like you reading a 50 page book cover to cover to study for an exam as you upload masses amount of cool knowledge into your brain - and then another guy (instead of reading the same 50 pages) says to himself 'dude I just want to keep it simple' and automatically the information just starts flowing into his brain. And as result, you both score an A+ on the exam. One of the most important things to remember is that she is a unique person. She is not just a woman, she is a unique woman - with unique ideas about how things work. She has had a unique set of experiences with men in the past (that shapes her beliefs about men)(if affects how she processes information from you/men). She has a unique set of friends and other influential factors that impact her outlook. She has a unique set of hobbies in which she derives pleasure. The list goes on. Some women are hyper-people-pleasers. Some women are just the opposite. If Tom's wife has a pattern of deriving pleasure from pleasing others, then it would be reasonable for him to (at times) create a strategy designed to 'compliment something amazing she did'. With people-pleaser types, you want to constantly feed them compliments about their decision making and their ideas. And in relationships, if it's not handled the right way, you could easily train them (accidentally) to not like sex - which ironic, being that she's a people-pleaser (yet, it happens all of the time!) Ask me how I know this. lol. At any rate, you want to know what drives her. And the cool thing about all of this, is that it make sense. Plus: It's very easy to prove if you're good at executing sexual tension tactics + knowing the basics about women + knowing if you're good at figuring the unique things about your woman.

7. Change the questions that you ask yourself This is one of those lessons where in theory we could list 1000's of examples, but it's better to understand the core concept. It doesn't matter who you are and/or how great you are at getting women in the mood, you can always improve in this unique 'rarely talked about' area. We're often taught that the key to having success in a particular area is all about finding the right answers. That's partially true. I tend to believe that the biggest changes/improvements are a result of asking yourself the right questions. In other words, if Jim's wife (Suzie) told him that 'she's not in the mood tonight', there's a big difference between Jim asking himself questions like: 'Why isn't she ever in the mood?' 'How come she hates sex?' 'Why doesn't she like having sex anymore?' 'When did she stop finding me attractive?' And asking questions like... 'What could I have done to make the conditions more ideal for her?' 'What could I have done to build tension better?' A whole report could be written on strategies to improve in this area, but I think you get the point. And if you're wondering why Jim's wife is named Suzie - and not Sharon. Good question. That's because this is a different Jim - he lives a couple blocks away. :) 8. Never get upset after a rejection ...if you believe in the idea that 'your current actions/reactions/words/conversations/emotions are SEEDS to a future outcome/experience/result. In simple terms, how you react in situations determines how you are judged/perceived by others. Although women are different, there is a particular trait that 99% of women find desirable: A guy who is in control of his urges/emotions. Women are attracted (without fully understanding why) to: Guys who are really successful at something Soldiers

Guys with a calm confidence Etc. These guys are symbols of self-control (and guys who are in control of their urges/emotions). On the flipside, women are repulsed (anti-attraction) to: Drug addicts Perverts Guys who are overly emotional etc. These of course are symbols of LACK of self-control (guys who are NOT in control of their urges/emotions). As we mentioned (or implied several times) before, people form their perceptions of others based on how the person behaves, how the person reacts in different situations and so on. The point: One of the best ways to increase your desirability is to react calmly during times when most guys over-react or get upset (i.e. when she's not in the mood). I can specifically remember a few times when I've done this and my wife changed her mind a few minutes later. The second point: One of the best ways to decrease your desirability is to react negatively (get angry/sad/emotional/etc) post-rejection. Just like 'begging for sex', getting angry/sad when she's not in the mood does other negative things that we're not going to cover. However, you don't need to fully understand the scope of every little negative thing to make it a point to never get upset post-rejection (or get upset if she says 'she's not interested in going to the movies' or whatever the activity is). 9. Send the message that you in control of urges This is like the more general version of the opposite of what we just covered. And since we just covered this, there's no need to go into a lot of detail. In general, you can't expect to control her urges if you can't control your own urges. So this is all about finding ways to send the message that you've in control of your urges. That means you can tell stories of when you did something that was above and beyond. Talk about a marathon you ran. Talk about a bad habit you quit.

It's not the conventional way that most people consider building desirability, but it works. Don't second-guess yourself. Trust the process. It's like building a huge beautiful castle one brick at a time. That's how this works. And that's how many other SV strategies work. So after a 'marathon' story, you're not going to expect her to immediately peel off her clothes and say "Take me I'm yours almighty Sex Master!" ...but that doesn't mean that it's not critically important to sculpt your SV Persona. Keep that in perspective, because some SV strategies work fast. Some are 'one brick' strategies (but they're necessary). Also keep in mind, that some 'negative actions' are slow relationship killers and slow SV-eroders (in terms of their 'one brick' effect). That means you could do demonstrate a certain behavior and it won't immediately make her repulsed and never want to be with you, but over time, you could end up accidentally (metaphorically) building an evil haunted castle. 10. Project a charismatic attitude/persona My formula for having a charismatic persona is simple: Decide to feel amazing/special about yourself (increase your confidence) + Have fun (increase your sense of humor)(laugh more) + Engage with others + Show compassion (and a deep/real respect) for others. That formula is based on analyzing both of my parents and other people that I know who are highly charismatic. You would think that two people who are 'highly charismatic' (like both of my parents) would automatically 'breed' and produce a 'glowing super human' who is magically charismatic from day 1. That hasn't been my experience. lol. They're both extroverts who really love people. And although I generally love people, too - I'm a proud introvert and more of an analyzer. I tend to think a lot and I've never been a 'natural' talker like they are. And one of the things that I've successfully analyzed and learned is that when you're not saying anything or not engaging with others - many times, people will just automatically make false assumptions about you.

Even though technically you haven't did anything wrong and you don't have any malicious thoughts whatsoever, unfortunately this sort of 'lack of information' about you will often get filled in with something negative. Others might think that you think you are better than them. Others might think that you look down on them. Others might think you are weird/creepy. It's just one of those things where when most people don't understand something, they fill in the 'lack of information' with something negative. It's kind of like how people from ancient times would fill in 'lack of understand' about nature with something negative. "The water drops from the sky are tears from all of the Gods because they're angry with us!!!" ...when in reality, we eventually discovered that it's a natural part of the process. And there is nothing negative about the rain or thunder or anything like that. There have been times in my life when I've been super charismatic (where it seemed like everyone just instantly liked me - for reasons I didn't understand) and other times when I felt anti-charismatic (where it seemed like most people just didn't like me for reasons I couldn't explain. It often felt like a weird curse or something). The interesting thing about all of these experiences is that it forced me to realize that anyone is capable of unlocking their charisma power, because when I've been at my charismatic peak (and possibly when you've been at your charisma peak), it's a result of scoring an A+ in all four areas. Based on analyzing the past, and learning about myself, the times when I've been anti-charismatic (although it felt like I was cursed or something), the reality is I was scoring an F in one or more of the 4 categories. 11. Understand her idea of a great partner (or a great date) When most guys think of improving their sex life, they tend to focus on solutions based on, 'giving her pills' and 'fixing her'. And it's understandable why guys come to this conclusion. After all, we do live in a world where there is a prescription pill for every problem (headaches, stomach aches, dry eyes, the list goes on). If you tell your doctor that you're depressed, do you think he's going to offer you a solution to manage your perspective/confidence/happiness?

No. He's going to suggest that you take some pills. If you tell your doctor that your eyes have been really dry lately, do you think he's going to suggest drinking water? It's possible. It's also possible that he's going to suggest that you take some pills. I think this sort of thing is the byproduct of living in an amazing world with mindblowing pharmaceutical breakthroughs. In many cases, "pills" have cured and saved lives. With all of that in mind, a woman doesn't have to be in peak/perfect health to experience arousal. I spent months actually believing that my wife (girlfriend at the time) actually needed some 'pills' in order for us to have a great sex life - until I woke up from the 'delusional trance'. It doesn't matter how young/old she is, 'she has a brain' that works great to produce cravings if the right buttons are pressed. If she fantasizes about eating some sort of delicious meal, her mouth is likely to water and she'll create a strong urge to have it. Even though she's not perfectly healthy, she still has nerve endings in her vagina + a brain ==> and therefore an ability to crave something (that provides her with pleasure: emotion pleasure and/or physical pleasure). What really happen when women take fancy Lidibo Pills (with awesome graphic design work on the box showing two couples in a loving embace) is that in gernal, the pill is going to make her heart pump out blood at a faster rate. And if you took a Libido Pill for men (in general) that's often what's really going on. That means if you're in a room with a 650lb woman who smells bad, then taking the Libido Pill is only going to make your blood pump faster - which is not a reasonable 'set of reactions' designed to make you perceive the 650lb woman as more desirable. That means if a guy (who begs his for wife sex, gets angry, complains a lot, treats her with little respect, etc, etc, etc, etc.) gives his wife Libido Pills it's not likely to reverse a set of 'perception-based' experiences. Even if she did get horny, that doesn't mean her conditions are changed.

Some guys/husbands think that if the woman gets horny, then automatically she'll have sex with anyone/him. In reality: If he isn't the 'right guy' (has SV) and/or the conditions aren't ideal, then times when she is super wet & horny, she'll just masturbate. 12. Understand the law of density One of the best ways to get a guy to realize that his wife (or a particular woman) doesn't need pills is to have him remember a time when she was so undeniably horny. If he can 'dig out one of these memories' (without playing the 'yeah, but' game) that it would be foolish to think that she needs a 'pill' to help her ability to crave things. You can normally CURE 90% of the guys who think like this just by having him explore his 'naughty memories' of times when she HAD TO HAVE IT! Of course, you have the remaining 10% who think that it's a sex drive issue. In other words, the thinking pattern is: "sure she has the ability to get aroused, but she doesn't want it too often". He's basically suggesting that her "internal frequency mechanism" is damaged to the point where she needs a "pill" to correct it. That's like saying that Jim-1 has a higher laugh drive (or laugh-libido) than Jim-2 (the guy who lives down the block) because Jim-2 has a damaged laugh drive. In reality Jim-1 laughs more because he's exposed to more 'stuff that makes him laugh' at a Higher Density (Higher Frequency). This means there is nothing wrong with Jim-2. He has the same ability to laugh at a high frequency. He just needs to be exposed to 'funny stuff' more often. Of course, if human beings actually had some sort of damaged "internal frequency mechanism" , that would mean Jim-2 would watch a funny standup comedian (i.e. Louis CK, Chris Rock, Bill Burr, Kevin Hart, George Carlin, etc.) but would only laugh at every 10th joke that he would 'normally' find funny. Of course that doesn't make any sense. If a guy wants a woman to have sex more often, he should start with the 'game

plan' of exposing her to 'effective' arousal-building methods' more often. 13. Don't use seductive dinosaur tactics In the past I use to be a self-appointed Libido Specialist. Although I never went to medical school, whenever my wife (at the time, my girlfriend) didn't want sex, I diagnosed her with having a low libido. Keep in mind, I didn't build any sexual tension. I didn't consider what her conditions are for having sex. I didn't even initiate sex in a creative way. I just said something like 'Let's do it' or 'Do you want to fool around' or I would start kissing her while flashing the 'I want sex' eyes. The problem is that 'the method of asking for it' is not only weak, but even worse it's overused and outdated! Who knows, back in the day (when she was in high school) kissing and giving the 'I want sex' eyes was enough. Who knows? I do know that 'certain sequences of actions' can become outdated (and extinct) as time goes on. It's no different than when you were 14 years old and a girl showed you her boobs and you instantly got rock hard (or the sensation that pulsed through your body was full of excitement)... Fast-forward into the current moment right now - if a woman where to flash her boobs, it's not going to have the same effect. It's like a movie that you've watched 200 times already. And in general, your brain can get 'numb' to certain stuff after awhile (or the impact is much less). Getting back to #1 The Master Lesson (if you want a woman to crave sex more often with you, then you must make different decisions), one of the first adjustments in decision making is making is to 'stop doing things that she is seductively numb to' + do more stuff that LIGHTS UP her mind (all of the stuff that we talked about combined with anything that you know that works on her).
Don't diagnosis her with having a low libido when chances are she's just numb to some sort of (extinct) dinosaur tactic.

14. Understand her views on what it takes to have a happy

relationship/interaction.

Condition #1: The relationship is great, but the sex life is bad - if this is the case, focus on all of the principles. Condition #2: The relationship is bad and the sex life is bad - if this is the case, \ focus on fixing the relationship first and then the sex life. 15. Avoid/Minimize complaining and negative talk Some women are more sensitive to this than others. This is kind of like a woman wearing a dress. It's ok if she does it, but not ok if you do it. 16. Avoid/Minimize being critical Although there are certain conditions and strategies where being (strategically) critical works in your favor, overall you shouldn't do it. 17. Understand that her desire to have sex is based on SV + ST SV = Sexual Value ST = Sexual Tension Everything you say/do has some sort of impact on your sexual value. Your sexual value is basically how you are perceived by her (as it relates to your romantic desirably). You can build ST in a variety of ways. And in general, anything you do or say that moves her one step closer to being sexual aroused is an ST tactic. 18. Understand her personal list of SV and ST In general, women are generally responsive to the same things when it comes to getting aroused. In other words, there is a huge overlap that works on all women. And guys are the same way. For most guys an effective short list of ST tactics (for a woman to use on us) could be (1) dressing up in something sexy, (2) talking dirty, (3) grabbing us in the right place, (4) dancing seductively, etc. But even though there's this huge overlap, some people have certain things that don't apply to the majority. For example, a guy might get turned on if a woman steps on his foot really hard with a pair of high heels.

That would be a legitimate ST tactic for a woman to use on him (if she figured it out). Women are the same way. Sometimes they'll have set of unusual ST tactics that work on her (more so than what would work on most women). It may not be in the 'fetish' category, but something unique - and she might not even be aware of it. 19. Understand indirect signals Women are amazingly responsive to indirect signals. And some women speak entirely in an indirect way. A guy could say to his girlfriend, 'Your hair looks nice, today'. And she think that he is implying that her hair normally doesn't look nice. It's almost like women have this 'internal question' of 'what is he implying' that they attach to everything a guy says. To some degree (based in her mood, her level of confidence, how defensive she is and a few other factors) you can generally figure out the real message of a woman's statement by attaching a 'what is she implying' at the end of it combined with what you know about her. However the real value of 'indirect signals' in terms of it's seductive value, is saying things where the answer to the 'what is being implied here?' is some sort of message/signal that builds your sexual value and/or sexual tension. (Read the one below to get a sense of what is meant by this). 20. Use strategic stories to send the right messages Being able to tell strategic stories is important because it does two really useful things: (1) sends an indirect message that increases your desirability and (2) it gets her to imagine (which is a raw skill that can be used to build tension). However, sending the 'indirect message' part is the biggest key. To give an example, let's say that you realized that your target woman has a history of liking a guy after realizing that a lot of other women like the guy (i.e. social proof). At any rate, if you were tell her directly: "Lots of women in the past were really attracted to me", it's not going to have nearly the same impact of telling her a story about the time when a girl from your past and all of her friends use to flirt with you.

That's a simple comparison. You get the point. And the reason why 'direct statements' don't have the impact is because she's going to ask the internal question 'what is he implying?' to the statement. So a guy just saying to woman: "Lots of women in the past were really attracted to me", is likely to make the woman think or say to him, "Ooooh Kaaaay... and your reason for saying that iiiiisssss...? And that's because she's searching for what's being implied. Strategically the info isn't being streamed at the appropriate level. When it comes to sending indirect messages via stories, the key is to make something else the topic (i.e. 'I don't like the fact that my ex use to bring her friends with her when we would go out' or something like that)... and theeeeen mention instances where several of her friends were hitting on you. That way she can come to the conclusion on her own. Once you know the target woman and how she operates, it's a piece of cake. Another key that helps is to be truthful. If you've had experiences where you have been seen as desirable to other women (or a particular woman), just 'make something else the topic' and then tell the story. If you don't have that many true experiences or you've had them but want to add to your list, just use hypothetical scenarios. For example: You: I heard of situations where a woman would go on a date with a guy and bring her friends, if I was with a woman and she did that I would feel awkward. What do you do if her friends start flirting with you? I'm not sure I would know how to react if my girlfriend's friends were rubbing on my legs and smiling seductively at me. This of course is a simple example. The point is real stories (and hypothetical-scenario stories) are great because the brain reacts to 'imaginations' (or inner-movies)... And when you tell these stories that's the impact it has on her. If someone would have told me 15 years ago, that a simple set of stories like this could create any impact, I would have found it hard to believe. The key point to keep in mind is that the same brain mechanism that allows you

to (potentially) get really turned on just by imagining (real-life past sexual stories)(or sexual hypothetical-scenario events) is the same mechanism that allows you to build value and/or tension in a very simple & smooth way. If you have a bunch of SV tactics in your arsenal and you know how to tell stories (or hypothetical scenarios), you can use that as one of your strategies for building your SV (increasing your sexual desirable). And remember, the more (psychologically) sexually desirable you are, the easier it will be to get her turned on. 21. The more SV you have the easier it is to get her turned on. (Read the past few sentences from the previous lesson.) 22. Have an initiation game plan It doesn't have to be complex. The main thing is to have an understanding of the indirect messages associated with 'how you are asking for it'. Sometimes you'll do a great job at building sexual tension (whether you were trying to or not), but the only holdback is a weak way of asking for it (or not asking for it at all). Remember women process words more completely than a guy does - and that means they're very receptive to 'implied messages' within our statements (however accurate she is). That means if a guy initiates sex in a way that frames her in a bad way (i.e. cheap, easy, non-special, object, etc.) it can make her say 'no' even though she's aroused. Also, if the guy initiates sex in a way that frames sex in a bad way (i.e. low valued sex, non-special, dirty, etc) it can make her say 'no' even though she's aroused. Guys don't care about this sort of thing, but women do. 23. Get more sex by changing the way you see her Very important! As we mentioned, women react to guys based on her interactions with him (i.e. his SV). But another 'layer' is based on what she thinks he thinks of her. Here's the breakdown. And this is something that happens 'silently' everyday. And it often goes unnoticed.

Sometimes you can watch a show that portrays women as being selfish, manipulative or whatever and/or then you could end up talking to a few buddies who reveal stories of how their female partners are selfish and bitchy or whatever and suddenly (via psychologically priming) your perceptual filters end up making it so that you see your woman in a negative way. It happens so fast, you don't even realize it. But why does our brain do this? In other words, how come there are times when you see a woman as being absolutely amazing and perfect? But then... the next day, she's selfish, annoying, complains too much, etc... That's what I mean by 'why does our brain do this'? The reason this sort of thing happens is because we don't have the brain capacity to perceive all things at once. We are often under the illusion that how we are evaluating a woman is based on 'who she is' (completely). But it doesn't work like that. That would be like looking out of your window and believing that what you're viewing represents the whole world, when in reality it's just a small subset based on what you are CHOOSING to focus on. With all of that said... In terms of leveraging this 'brain mechanism' in a way that benefits (being that most guys don't operate strategically/creatively with this sort of thinking...the key is to shift your focus and keep at the front of your mind all of the amazing, selfless, positive things that she has done. Of course, this isn't the complete (good, neutral and bad) version of her, but for strategic purposes, let me explain what this does.... 'when we are currently perceiving someone in a good light, they can often pick up on it (especially women). You'll look at the person differently. In fact, as a fun experiment, you can look in the mirror right now and say to yourself (as if you're talking to her)

"You dumb little selfish whore!" OR "Why on earth did I marry such an idiot!!!!" OR "You really are an evil little cunt and you know it!!!" (Let me be crystal clear: Do not say the above to a woman out loud. lol.) At any rate, now switch gears and say to yourself (as if you're talking to her) "You're a good and amazing person. I'm really glad I met you." "I love you so much Sweetheart." "Daddy knows you're a little naughty fun girl." "[single guy] I know we just met, but I can tell that you like me." While looking in the mirror, did you notice any slight differences in your facial expressions? Keep in mind, this isn't a standalone tactic for making a woman like you or get aroused, what it does is maximizes the effectiveness of you game plan. And it also safeguards you against sending incongruent messages. 24. Never argue about sex I've had this happen a few times where I told a guy 'don't argue about sex because blah blah blah' and often times the response is something like: "Let me get this straight. We haven't had sex in XXX days and you expect me to keep my lips zipped??!! So you're actually saying do NOT argue about it??" The answer is yes. I mean technically you can do whatever you want. But if a guy decides to argue (based on whatever is driving him), he needs to know that it's very very very low likelihood path for getting her to want it more often. It's one thing to get upset and nonverbally display anger (which brings about a certain amount of damage). It's another thing to have a (verbal) argument about sex. You have to remember a set of simple observations women. They want to feel attractive/sexy. They want to feel desired. They want to feel as though they are a 'success'. Most of the time an argument is going to make a woman feel like a failure and

like she's not good enough. Even though that's not what the guy's intentions, there is a strong likelihood that she'll take it that way. It's actually brilliant behavior conditioning in reverse (in terms of how consistent arguing can predictably lead to a 'sexual shut down' (it's kind of like The Monster Study done in 1939 where they made kids feel bad about stuttering and then ended up getting worse. And then they gave a second group of kids compliments and positive reinforcement and they improved.)
When you get a chance, you might want to read: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monster_Study

The good news is it's fixable. In fact, I did the whole arguing about sex in the past (along with a list of other 'negative conditioning') and I was able to reverse it. And I've helped others to reverse it, too. In most cases, I find that a lot of guys out there are almost perfect clones of how I use to be (when I did everything wrong). Stage 1: You blame it on her (i.e. she needs pills, she needs to do XYZ, etc.). Stage 2: You realize you need to get better at getting her turned on. Stage 3: You realize you need to get better at getting her turned on + You learn that you've been a 'monster' at negatively conditioning her to not want sex. With that said (and I've discussed this before in greater detail) don't have arguments and awkward discussions about sex. It doesn't fix things. Plus, it makes things worse. 25. Use compliments strategically If you understood the previous lesson, this one is self-explanatory. What would happen if you had a 'magical stove', and every time you turned the knob, $500 dollars fell from the sky? What you keep turning it? lol Of course you would. Human nature is pretty simple. Little effort + Lots of pleasure = A strong URGE to keep doing it. I can guarantee you that if you been in a relationship long enough where the woman said something like 'now..is not a good night' and then you started arguing or making your case (lol), then you may have at one point heard the excuse of 'we just did it XXX nights ago?'.

Sounds familiar? Here's how that happens ==> lots of 'making herself do it' sex (via weak ST building) = lots of effort for a woman. So by simple logic, if we agree that: Little effort + Lots of pleasure = A strong URGE to keep doing it. Then see if you can guess what happens in this scenario. Lots of effort + Arguing (being told she is not good enough) = A) A strong URGE to crave sex B) A strong REPULSION to wanting sex Obviously, it's B. In other words, imagine if you had sex with Woman-A. Afterwards she argued that it wasn't good enough. She talked about how her ex use to pump her really super fast non-stop for 3 hours straight. At first you seem excited about the idea that she's ok with doing it for 3 hours, but you quickly realize that sex is becoming a lot of work + this 'female monster' is always arguing that you're not good enough! Now imagine that you end up having sex with Woman-B, after 3 strokes she is cumming like a mad woman. She keeps saying 'You're amazing. You're amazing. You're amazing! I love the way you make love to me! And she just keeps cumming like you've never seen before. Not only that, after wards -- when sex is over --- she keeps telling you how amazing you are. How much she loves you. Which woman would you rather have sex with? Who knows you might like a super challenge. And you might pick Woman-A. Women on the other hand (even the really competitive ones) are driven by some sort of reward/success feeling. Not only do you want to treat compliments as a strategy, but it works better when you're sincere. It's worth all of the amount of time it takes to think of things that she did that was special - find out what makes her special - find out how she wants to be perceived - in an effort to make her feel amazing (like a success!)(like a sexual success!) It's worth it to be a master at complimenting a woman! (for the sake of making her feel like a success, making her feel good about herself, making her feel good

about what she is capable of, covertly conditioning her behavior, etc.) 26. Find out her sexual stamina This is in alignment with what we were just talking about It varies from woman to woman. If you have the stamina to go 2 hours and it takes about that long for you to cum. And your partner is generally satisfied after 15-30 minutes, then even though you may have rocked her world the first 20 minutes, then all of that 'extra sex' (for her) could be perceived as 'extra work' and it can impact her URGE to have sex at a higher frequency. 27. If you follow The law of numbers, it will never fail you This is based on the idea that: "If you want to experience greater success, do more of what works ( @ a higher density ) + do less of what doesn't work."
And by 'less of what doesn't work', we're talking about all of the things that we mentioned + other forms of 'negative conditioning' not mentioned. If you want to figure out if you're doing that is the category of positive or negative conditioning, just think of these two formulas. And apply it to the different ways that you interact with her. Condition Formula#1: Little effort + Lots of pleasure = A strong URGE to keep doing XYZ.

Negative Condition Formula#1: Lots of effort + Emotional/Physical/Psychological Pain = A strong REPULSION to doing XYZ There are other conditioning formulas that are more complex but that's a simple one to start with. It should help you uncover 'negative conditioning' and 'specific anti-seductive behaviors'. That way, 'being in your presence' has the similar 'brain wiring' effect of turning the knob on the magical stove, except instead of money falling from the sky she gets the 'feeling of being amazing', the feeling of being a 'sexual success', etc. 28. Frame yourself as a Rare Combo of Traits (and/or Emotional

Impact on her).
As we mentioned before, having Sexual Value is one of the most important ingredients for having a healthy sex life, for rebuilding the attraction, for getting a woman back, etc. And one of the easiest ways to increase your sexual value is to

'brand yourself' based on a combination of 3-7 traits. For most people (not everyone) there are at least 3-7 high quality traits where the combination represents something 'rare' (as you may know, rare = increased value). The traits could be anything: The fact that you're creative, intelligent, full of enthusiasm, loyal, self-disciplined, friendly, positive/optimistic/inspirational, good decision-maker, attractive, health-conscious, funny, hard-working, similar traits, similar beliefs/values, etc. Emotional Impact could be anything: The fact that you make her feel special, you make her feel loved, you make her feel beautiful/attractive/sexy, you make her feel smart, you provide her with good company/interaction, you're pleasant to talk to (so she looks forward to hearing from you via phone call, text, email, inperson, etc.), you make her feel like she can accomplish her dreams, you make her feel understood, you make her feel alive, you make her feel sane (when most people don't get her and see her as being crazy or misunderstood), you bring out the best in her, you make her feel like she's fun, etc. With that in mind, Kevin's rare combo could be the fact that he is "funny + hardworking + makes her feel alive + inspires her". In the event that the rare combo approach isn't effective, apply the next lesson and then repeat the rare combo approach. 29. Becoming more valuable. If a guy is constantly struggling with keeping a woman attracted to him, there's a good chance that he's not valuable. And in that case, it becomes harder to build attraction and arousal. For example, if a non-valuable guy were to apply the previous lesson (the rare combo of traits/impact) and other tactics, by default, it wouldn't be possible to pull off. The good news it's an easy fix because we can decide to improve. In general, if you want a special woman to see/perceive you as being valuable (or sexually valuable), then you have to focus on becoming valuable. It doesn't have to be a difficult or long process. In fact, any person can just decide to start being a certain way, because each 'moment of right now' is always the SEED of future moments of 'right now'. (Hopefully, that made sense.) To be sexually valuable you have to first be valuable. So, you can take a few minutes to imagine what your target woman (or your type of woman) would consider being a 'quality guy' and then make the decision to be that guy.

It may seem weird, but imagine being her - imagine being insecure about things from time to time - imagine living in a world that is obsessed with 'excessively attractive women' - imagine thinking like a woman - imagine having this urge for attention and to be noticed/acknowledged. Again, I know it's weird to imagine this, but it can help sharpen your perspective about what it takes to be a quality/valuable guy to your target woman. On top of that, you quickly learn that trying to be cool and tough is just a weak strategy that it's not even funny. It can also help with knowing how to 'make certain decisions' that the typical guy doesn't make.

30. Be a good listener Self-explanatory. 31. Remove comfort zone hurdles This one is very important. Much of having success with women involves (1) projecting the right traits + (2) having the right emotional/psychological effect on her. In addition to those two things, you have to (when necessary) get her past certain comfort zone hurdles. Failing to 'help her with certain comfort zone issues' is silent attraction killer and relationship killer. Example Scenario #1: If a guy meets a woman, it doesn't matter how much she likes him, if he can't get her comfortable with being intimate together, then the relationship will plateau or decline at some point. Example Scenario #2: If a couple met online, it doesn't matter how much she likes him, if he can't get her comfortable with him visiting her and/or her visiting him, then the relationship will plateau or decline at some point. Example Scenario #3: If a guy is married to a woman, it doesn't matter how much she loves him and finds him attractive, if he can't get her comfortable with 'being sexy' while now being in the role of a mom, then the sex life will suffer at some point.

We could easily cover dozens of scenarios like this. If this makes sense to you, then you'll see how it's a silent attraction and relationship killer. In fact, if you go back and examine your past, you may spot how former relationships and flings have died as a result of not being skilled at addressing 'a comfort zone' issue. That means the woman really liked you, but some 'comfort zone based' obstacle destroyed everything. It happens out of nowhere! It's happened to me. It may have happened to you or someone you know. In many cases when a guy is not progressing with a woman, it's often a result of having a comfort zone issue more so than an impact issue. In relationships, there are many comfort zone hurdles that will emerge and the guy will be affected by it whether he realizes it or not. Sometimes it's something serious. Sometimes it's not-so serious. With that said, common comfort zone hurdles are: having sex for the first time, convincing her to do a new sexual act, convincing her to do something for the first time, convincing her to see things a certain way, convincing her to do some sort of action (that is important) where she had a bad experience with it in the past, convincing her to make decisions that help her grow as a person, etc. One common relationship killer (that is based on a lack of addressing a comfort zone issue) is one person 'growing' at a faster rate than the other person. If you're the type that pushes yourself to new levels. And you tend to face your fear for the purpose of growing and improving, then by default you almost have to constantly help her with her comfort zone issues. Otherwise, the 'gap in compatibility' will keep getting wider and as time goes on and even worse you'll end up perceiving her in a negative way (i.e. weak, lazy, afraid, etc.). Keep in mind, we technically can chose how we define others - and what traits we focus on. However, when you're primed for growth, there is a tendency to label others based on this - although, it's technically not a true of evaluating a person. On top of that, there is often a tendency for her to perceive you in a negative way (i.e. pushy, disconnected, overly ambitious, etc.).

Again, there are dozens and dozens and dozens of example scenarios where failing to help her get past a comfort zone issues will negatively impact the relationship. With all of that said, you can't make someone do something. That's not what we're talking about. What we're talking about is a simple skill that any guy can do! For example, there was a book that I read a few years ago where the author talked about how he took his young son to the empty school during the summer time. He had him look through the window at an empty classroom and said, 'See that. That's the classroom you're going to be in. You're going to be in kindergarten. It's going to be fun. You'll learn a lot and meet new friends....' He made several trips to the school repeating the process over and over again. And when the first day finally arrived, the kid was excited to go to school! Meanwhile, there was another kid who was gripped onto his father's leg while in tears. As you can probably guess, the first dad (the author) didn't have a magical son who was the Chosen One. Nope! He was a regular kid - with a regular brain. The only difference was the first dad had the awareness and willingness to 'make certain decisions' to get his son comfortable with a new situation. Getting a person 'mentally comfortable' isn't hard. You don't need to change them in any way. You don't need to force them to be someone they're not. You just need to understand that with 'simple clever' strategies you can achieve this sort of process without the other person realizing what you're doing. In other words, she doesn't need to be aware that you're helping her get comfortable in order for it to happen. And although we could create a separate report just on this topic alone, as a basic strategy here's what you can do. All you have to do (if you wanted to apply a simple strategy for helping her get comforable) is just find ways to get her to imagine herself (while having fun and

experiencing some sort of pleasure) doing 'the act' as often as possible. You see, (and you might already realize this) because the unconscious mind doesn't know the difference between a real experience and a fake/imagined experience, this process will covertly get her to become more comfortable with the act. So the more you get her to imagine herself doing XYZ (from a perspective of pleasure), the more she will get comfortable doing the XYZ for real. In fact, when we imagine doing something, we are actually creating 'physical changes' in the brain! Simple formula: Imagine doing XYZ while having fun + repetition Now, as far as what you need to say to her to achieve this, it just depends on what the situation is and how she processes information. Sometimes the 'conversational game plan' may not pop in your mind immediately - and sometimes you may have to spend some time thinking and figuring out how to pull it off - but at least you know what you're ultimately trying to achieve. And the good news is when you do end up saying the right things, not only are you going to get her to become more comfortable with the idea of actually doing XYZ, but you're going to end up conditioning her to experience an urge/desire to do XYZ. Another comfort zone hurdle tactic is to get her to do XYZ in a very very very gradual way. And then give her lots of positive feedback before during and after. Let her brain get comfortable and process the idea that she did XYZ on a small scale. And then the next time - in an environment of zero pressure - encourage her to go a little further. Of course, it really depends on what you're trying to achieve. The idea though is to get her to associate 'high reward' with 'doing a gradual version of XYZ' where it appears/feels as though you're asking her to do something that is virtually zero effort & zero downside. And... ...if you're really strategic, you can take a combo approach: Get her to imagine herself doing a gradual (low effort, high reward) version of XYZ - over and over again.

I hope that makes sense, because it's very powerful. You have to remember, at some point some guy in her past convinced her to have sex for the first time. And if she was responsive to 'whatever method he used', then surely you can easily get her to overcome any comfort zone hurdle that emerges. And that's because in most cases, the guy used a 'pressure-based approach' which is the weakest (and low success rate) way of getting someone to do something new/foreign/different. Our approach is much superior - and it works better - and it's simple. And not only will you end up helping her grow, but you will end up increasing her connection to you + increasing the attraction/addiction + a lot of other things that make her see you as amazing.

32. Use this simple 3 part formula for seduction When a woman decides (and has the urge) to have sex with a guy, it's a result of 3 parts working together. (Part 1) The guy: His traits. His Impact on her. What's unique/special about him? (Part 2) The woman: How she feels about herself when she's with him? What are her beliefs about what he thinks of her? Etc. (Part 3) The process: What does he do to emotionally/psychologically build sexual tension? When you are thinking of ways to make her crave sex (or crave it more frequently), think of ways to impact 1 or more of those 3 parts. Ideally, you want her to think of you as 'sexually amazing' (Part 1) + you want her to feel sexy/naughty/playful when she's with you (Part 2) + you want to be able to figure out her buttons & be effective at pressing them (Part 3). And the good news is, it's very easy to verify when you're doing things the right way! Well, that's it for now. I hope you enjoyed this updated version. Take care!

Regards, CR James http://CRJames.com crjames100@gmail.com http://SuperSeductionPower.com

TheChecklist
TheMasterLesson:Ifyouwantawomantocravesexmoreoften,thenyoumustmake differentdecisions AlwaysthinkintermsofUrgeCreation Neverbegforsex Createsexualtension Understandheridealconditionsforsex Realizethatsheisunique Changethequestionsthatyouaskyourself Nevergetupsetafterarejection Sendthemessagethatyouincontrolofurges Projectacharismaticattitude/persona Understandherideaofagreatpartner(oragreatdate) Understandthelawofdensity Don'tuseseductivedinosaurtactics Understandherviewsonwhatittakestohaveahappyrelationship/interaction Avoid/Minimizecomplainingandnegativetalk Avoid/Minimizebeingcritical UnderstandthatherdesiretohavesexisbasedonSV+ST UnderstandherpersonallistofSVandST Understandindirectsignals Usestrategicstoriestosendtherightmessages ThemoreSVyouhavetheeasieritistogetherturnedon. Haveaninitiationgameplan Getmoresexbychangingthewayyouseeher Neverargueaboutsex Usecomplimentsstrategically Findouthersexualstamina IfyoufollowThelawofnumbers,itwillneverfailyou FrameyourselfasaRareComboofTraits(and/orEmotionalImpactonher). Becomingmorevaluable. Beagoodlistener Removecomfortzonehurdles Usethissimple3partformulaforseduction.