Our Stories of Overcoming "Homosexual Behavior"

Our Stories of

Overcoming

"Homosexual

Behavior"

Revelation 12:11

"And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and

because of the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life

even when faced with death."

Mark 9:23

‘If you can’? said Jesus. "Everything is possible for one who believes."

Dr. Levi M. Matthews

Afterword by Rev. Anthony Evans

Important Notice: Homosexual Behavior

is not the same as Same-Sex Attraction

Copyright © 2016 Leviticus M. Matthews.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission. NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION® and NIV® are registered trademarks of Biblica, Inc. Use of either trademark for the offering of goods or services requires the prior written consent of Biblica US, Inc.

WestBow Press

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ISBN: 978-1-5127-2577-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-2578-0 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-2576-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016900061

WestBow Press rev. date: 3/16/2016

Contents

Dedication and Celebration

Preface – Uniqueness in the Body of Christ

Foreword – I Understand?

Introduction – A Journey

Synopsis

Only Strong and Courageous

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Testimonies

Chapter 6

Chapter 1 – Why Gender Matters

Deception and Culture

The True Story

The Climax of the True Story

The End of the True Story

Chapter 2 – Being a Christ Follower with Same-Sex Attraction (SSA)

Adoption is Strange

Why Everyone’s Hope is in Adoption, Not Marriage

Identity Comfort

More Than Conquerors

Chapter 3 – Being a Christ Follower and Single

A Humanistic Ideal Script

The Divine Script

The Right and Wrong Idea

Something That Lasts vs Pride and Fear

His Death, His Resurrection

Chapter 4 – Family Matters

The Hope is in The Eternal Family

Some Encouragement

Conclusion

Chapter 5 – Why Do My Brothers and Sisters Experience Same-Sex Attraction?

Multiple Pathways

The Biological/Genetics Pathway

The Childhood Experiences Pathway

The Environmental Influences Pathway

The Adult Experiences Pathway

Another Issue in My Heart

Female Testimonies

Delivered & Redeemed

Longing for Intimacy: The Heart of Female Same-sex Attraction

I Will Never Be Alone

Joy and Peace

Choosing to Trust – A Journey Out of Lesbianism

Filled With Peace and Joy

Male Testimonies

Risking Relationships with God and Men: Leaving Homosexuality Behind

Obedience Made the Difference

My Chief Purpose

My Passion is to Help The Church

Adopted and Redeemed

Truth Sets You Free

My Life Came to a Crossroad

God Has Always Protected Me

A Pastor’s Struggle with Same-Sex Attraction

Hero: Finding Healing from Homosexuality and Sexual Addiction

The Overwhelming Love and Goodness of God

How My Family Offended Me and Brought Me Back to God

Living a Life of Change and Promise

I am in Christ

Using My Same-Sex Attraction (SSA) to Help Others

Parent Testimonies

I Can Sing Again (From a Mother’s Perspective)

A Mother’s Story

Chapter 6 – What Do We Do Now?

Christ First or Separate

Support

Afterword – The Ageless Power of God through Our Lord Jesus Christ

Resources

Domestic

International

Abbreviations

Notes

Dedication and Celebration

I dedicate this book to and celebrate:

Love and Truth

Justice and Mercy

Conviction and Civility

Preface

Uniqueness in the Body of Christ

Our Stories of Overcoming Homosexual Behavior was developed out of love for the body of Jesus Christ and admiration and love for my brothers and sisters who have made difficult life changes and sacrifices to show their love for Christ. This love that they express strengthens the body of Christ like no other. All of our different struggles in the Body of Christ are unique and the struggle with same-sex attraction adds to that uniqueness. The hand faces different challenges than the foot faces. The back faces different challenges than the shoulder faces. The leg faces different challenges than the arm faces. Our brothers and sisters who face the challenge of same-sex attraction have a unique and special challenge especially in this present age.

It is my pleasure to share their stories of overcoming their challenges in the face of different adversaries. It is also my pleasure to share and discuss biblical scripture and personal experiences related to scripture that speak to this specific challenge and different challenges we have as Christ followers. Revelations 12:11 says "And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life even when faced with death." This book highlights 23 unique motivating testimonies of overcoming homosexual behavior. Each individual volunteered to share their story in this book in order to be a light for those Christ followers who struggle with same-sex attraction and for those who have loved ones who struggle with same-sex attraction. I truly admire their courage and service as a disciple of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. This book also includes an in depth and logical discussion pertaining to same-sex attraction and homosexual behavior that is biblical, scientific and experiential. We pray that the information and testimonies in this book are a blessing to your life.

Foreword

I Understand?

Written By Paul Sheridan

I understand will never be words that cross my lips when speaking with someone who experiences same-sex attraction. Though tears have fallen down my cheeks and words of anger and frustration at God have come from my mouth, and though my heart breaks with my brothers and sisters at the pain, loneliness, fear, rejection, and often abandonment they sadly experience, I cannot ever truly say, I understand.

My journey to learn began in college when I found out a dear friend was experiencing same sex attraction. My world exploded. My preconceived ideas of why someone was gay fell apart. Due to my background and circles of people, you were only gay if you had some sort of sexual abuse, an absent father, overbearing mother etc. Now those things may be true in the life of some, but this young man did not fit those conditions. I knew his background. He had a mother and father who loved each other and him dearly. He had a dad who took him on manhood weekends and explained God’s design for sex, sexuality, and gender to him as a preteen. There was no history of any abuse or abandonment. Growing up with this family dynamic I thought everything said, This young man will one day be a happy, married, heterosexual man.

However, there was one other stumbling block to my under-standing of the origins of experiencing same-sex attraction. This young man had exhibited overtly feminine tastes and characteristics since birth. At age two he would wear his mom’s heels, blankets as dresses, and he wanted a Cinderella castle as a reward for potty training. It would seem that he had been born this way. But if God created him, and he was this way from birth, then it was God’s fault! Right? I was struggling with the thought that God created him gay! How could He? At that time I wrestled with the notion that God could put these desires in this child and then say all through the Bible that homosexuality is wrong. Was that the good God I heard about growing up in church?

It was in the midst of these questions, this anger, and blame of God that the LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or questioning) organization at the university I attended hosted their annual Spring-Out fest on campus. Their event question a queer was being held and I had questions. I remember on my bed, brow furrowed, lips pursed looking out my window as one guy dressed up as a priest married two girls on the grassy knoll in the middle of campus. I had to learn how to talk about this. I had to begin to try to see from a different perspective because the dots were not connecting. So in the midst of anger, hurt, confusion, and fear, the Lord gave me a spirit of humility and told me to go and ask questions.

I left my dorm room and with sweaty palms walked up to a guy dressed as a girl who told me his name was Stacy. I was genuinely confused. I did not have anything profound to ask or say. So I just started with, Hello, my name is Paul and I have some questions… Soon after the interaction with Stacy, who would eventually decide that he was actually a gay man, not transgender, introduced me to Jake who was the president of the LGBTQ organization on campus. Jake learned I was a Christian and said, I have a degree in biblical theology from X University, would you mind if I told you what the Bible really says about homosexuality? Stunned, and not knowing what else to do, but genuinely curious, I said yes. After explaining his theological understanding of the key passages of the Bible that speak to homosexuality, he invited me to come to their meeting the following night where they would be sharing their coming out stories. I said I would be there.

I showed up a little early that Wednesday night and sat with Jake. I had no idea how that night was going to change my life. I sat and listened as person after person shared what they thought to be the most defining moments of their life: coming out to their parents. The vast majority of the men and women that shared had grown up in religious homes. One after another shared through tears, bitter anger, smug triumph, or sarcastic hurt how they were rejected by family, friends, church or all three. My heart broke as I listened to their rejection. This pain, this heartache, and despair had been caused by people claiming the same Jesus I claimed to serve. I had to say something. After they all shared, there was a time for questions. I tentatively raised my hand, and the guy who the day previously had been dressed as a priest gave me the floor. I said to the group, As a Christian I just want to apologize to you for how you have been hurt and rejected. What was done to you was wrong, not Christ-like, and I am sorry. After making that statement, with the grace of an apostle the guy who had been dressed like a priest the other day said, Thank you for saying that but you didn’t do these things; you aren’t the one that needs to apologize.

So began a journey on which I never thought I would embark. A journey the authors of this book have been on as well. Our paths all had different beginnings but in God’s divine providence, intersected. During my time with them my theology of gender and sexuality has expanded greatly. They have helped me elevate the conversation from Is homosexuality right or wrong? to How does the gospel affect my sexuality and define my identity? I have begun to see that we, as humans, are all fundamentally broken, we just experience that brokenness in different ways. Just like God did not create me a liar or sexually immoral, He did not create someone gay. We have a power at work in us from birth, a sin nature that has been dominate in all of humanity since the first sin of Adam. This sin nature manifests itself differently in each person and without the renewal of the Holy Spirit we are powerless against it. This is why I believe our greatest need is in fact spiritual, not physical.

Our Stories of Overcoming Homosexual Behavior is a paradox; a beautiful combination of heart and mind, grace and truth, pain and joy, emptiness and fulfillment. No matter where you are in your journey the authors of this book are here to walk with you. Their words come from a posture of extreme humility, compassion, love, and from years of being learners. The stories contained here are from many different people with diverse backgrounds and experiences. Whether you are a son, daughter, mother or father, there is someone in the coming pages who can look you in the eye with the sincerest empathy and say, I understand.

Introduction

A Journey

Over the past few years I have developed a sense of concern for the Christian community who are faced with same-sex attraction in today’s culture. I have tried to understand the potential loneliness and anxious secrecy that a same-sex attracted Christ follower may experience. However, the beginning of my journey to have a heart for those who face this struggle was filled with bitterness and frustration towards the topic of homosexual behavior but I thank God that I never had hatred towards those who struggle with it or embrace it. In those days, every news story, over-heard conversation, and personal conversations pertaining to homosexual behavior ended in anger on my part. Over time this anger disappeared and I know that the disappearance of that anger was not my doing, but the doing of the Holy Spirit. He taught me to maintain my conviction as it relates to homosexual behavior but to also increase my compassion towards my brothers and sisters who struggle with same-sex attraction. God showed me how victory over this struggle truly and uniquely strengthens that body of Christ, the Church, His Church, His Bride.

Since then I have had various clients who I have been able to listen to and learn a lot about their specific struggles. I have also been able read different books that speak to the heart of this struggle and books that discuss considerate Godly responses to my brothers and sisters with this struggle. I also got the opportunity to speak with a gay pastor. One day a student of mine, who knows that I am Christ follower, approached me and told me that she thought I would be interested in meeting a pastor who she just met last week and who has a gay identity. She went on to tell me that this pastor believes that his homosexual behavior is not a sin and that he teaches his belief to others. I took his name and his number not knowing if I would contact him or not. I prayed about meeting with this man and was led to call him. When we finally got to talk on the phone, I told him that a student had referred me to him and I was calling in order to take time to sit with him so he could help me understand how he reconciles embracing homosexual behavior and being Christian at the same time. I told him that I am a Christ follower and I have never taken the time to listen to someone explain how that was done. He gracefully agreed to meet with me in the city where I live or in the city where he lives. He also told me about a seminar that he gives sometimes at his church pertaining to this topic. I decided I would go to his seminar and hopefully speak with him briefly afterwards. He agreed that this was a good idea.

Before the date of the seminar I discussed my interactions and decision with my brothers in Christ and I decided that I did not wish to attend the seminar alone. I simply recalled that when Jesus would send out his disciples, He would send them two by two, never alone. Two of my brothers in Christ agreed to go but only one was able to go when the date came. During our drive to this pastor’s church building my brother in Christ and I discussed and searched our minds for what we thought his man would say about his homosexual behavior and scripture. Once we arrived at the church building, we prayed together and went into the building.

We walked down a long hall leading to the room where the seminar was getting ready to start. As we walked down that hall we passed by a couple of rooms that looked like rooms where the children would go during church service. We finally entered the room where the seminar was to be held and sat towards the back of the room. There were about twenty-five people attending the seminar. As the seminar began the pastor indicated that this time was not to be used as a debate but just a time for him to address biblical scripture. What I am about to share next is definitely not to bash this pastor or anyone else but just to share what happened that day.

The pastor basically started off by saying that over the years he had done an in-depth study on this topic because that is what good Southern Baptists do. He got some laughter out of that statement. Then he continued. During the seminar the pastor cherry picked a handful of biblical verses and attempted to explain how these verses had been translated incorrectly for hundreds of years by thousands of people. I use the words attempted to explain because when he discussed the passage in the book of Romans he indicated that this was the one passage that trips up his belief. He also attempted to explain away the meaning of the word homosexual in scripture. The scriptural verses he cherry picked were the same verses that most of us Christians use when discussing homosexuality (the cherry picking approach). He went on to speak negatively about the apostle Paul by indicating that Paul was a little sexist and anti-marriage. It seemed like he was attempting to discredit the messenger. I only took the time to make two statements. One statement came after he addressed Leviticus. I stated, I wonder if God would command His people not to do something that He sees as holy and good for us? The other statement came around the time he was addressing Saint Paul’s letters to the Church and I said, I believe that all scripture is God breathed. The pastor then said to the room, Yeah some people believe that and others have different thoughts about that? One lady attending the seminar spoke up out of anger, looked in the direction of me and my brother in Christ and said, Yeah, who is this Paul. We don’t know who this guy was. He might have been crazy. She went on to say, God is not the author of confusion and so if you see something in the bible that you don’t understand then don’t read it. I looked at her but was not led to speak. So I did not. But today I can tell you that she was actually quoting the apostle Paul himself when she said, God is not the author of confusion. He just did not say for us to ignore scripture. I am sure that she did not know that she was actually quoting the same man she was attempting to discredit. I can also tell you today who the apostle Paul is. Jesus Himself tells us who he is in Acts 9:15. He says:

Go, for he is a chosen instrument of Mine, to bear My name before the Gentiles and kings and the sons of Israel;

Jesus was speaking to a disciple named Ananias who was afraid of Paul. It seems that this fear continues even today but for different reasons. Jesus clears it up for Ananias and for us and I tend to make it a habit to believe what Jesus says. Sometimes I think back and wish I had these words during that seminar because I knew that day that the people in that room were possibly being deceived. I say possibly because it seemed that some people in that room believed what the pastor was saying and some people did not. However, I know that having those words