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Circle Forgiveness Meditation A Practical Barebones Guide on How to effectively produce a positive change in your life! Based on a talk given at DSM by Most !enerable "Bhante# !i$alara$si on %&'(%')%*) o$piled and edited by !en+ ,he$a S+D+ and Dr+ -ens .roeger /ith artwork contributed by Sarah 0obison

There is no question that Forgiveness Meditation is part of Loving-Kindness Meditation development. It is the first step towards Peace. 120/A0D Bhavatu Sabba Mangalam ! /hen !en+ ,he$a re3uested $e to write a forward to this booklet 4 accepted the invitation with considerable pleasure since 4 estee$ being associated with this literary endeavor of unusual significance and i$$ense practical relevance+

4t is co$$on knowledge that a large nu$ber of books and other literary works have been published on the sub5ect of all aspects of $editative practices leading to 67oving ,indness Meditation8+ .he less discerning public $ight wonder 6why another booklet on the sa$e sub5ect8+ .he author perhaps anticipating such hesitation and $isgiving has stated the principal ob5ective of this booklet in very clear and precise ter$s+ /ithout being far too e9haustive: highly speciali;ed or too scholarly to be of $uch practical help to the uninstructed and uninitiated or even to the average person seeking basic concise guidance: the author has provided us a brief: clear and si$ple handbook which is a $uch<felt need+ =ven a cursory glance of the booklet should $ake it clear that this booklet is an entirely fresh orchestration of $ost of the salient issues of 1orgiveness Meditation+ 2ften the author8s language is unusually illustrative+ 1or instance here is a classic e9a$ple> "?+we can clear the runway for our Mindfulness of 7oving<,indness to take off by first learning to use Mindfulness of 1orgiveness $editation+ .his is an e9tre$ely powerful cleansing practice+# @Page (A Buddha8s supre$e and ti$eless procla$ation of liberation of thought and the prioriti;ation of the $ind over twenty<five centuries ago is now universally accepted by $odern day scientists+ As hu$anity advances and with intellectual develop$ent: the 3uest for spiritual solace enhances this advance$ent+ .he author clearly indicates the principal and uni3ue feature of the discipline of the $ind through $editation+ .his booklet shows in clear and si$ple ter$s the way towards spiritual cleansing and dispelling psychic irritants+ A co$$endable feature of this booklet is that the treat$ent is basic but very precise and co$prehensive+ 4 have no doubt whatsoever that this

booklet will help the readers towards $eaningful practice of 61orgiveness Meditation8 leading to the successful practice of 67oving<,indness Meditation8+ May you have All Good Blessings! !en+ H+ ,ondanna: Abbot Staten 4sland Buddhist !ihara

4ntroduction .he Buddha was a $editation teacher+ He taught $editation for B& years after he beca$e fully awakened+ /hen you study $editation you will not be entirely successful until you $aster the definitions and interwoven nature of two words+ Meditation and Mindfulness+ 4 can give you the definitions but then you $ust e9perience for yourself how these two work together+ 4n the Buddhist teachings: Meditation $eans: 6observing the $ove$ent of $ind8s attention $o$ent<to<$o$ent: in order to see clearly how i$personally things actually work+8 Mindfulness $eans 6re$e$bering to keep this observation going all the ti$e and to recall what to do if you are pulled away because of so$e distraction during your $editation+8 4t isn8t hard to see why you $ust develop sharp $indfulness to keep the $editation going s$oothly+ Many people practice 7oving<,indness $editation: but: according to a few people: the power of it doesn8t see$ to change $uch for the$ in their daily lives+ 4f it doesn8t take off 3uite right in the beginning: we $ight run into difficulty with this practice and it can be like hitting a wall+ 4n a lot of cases though: there is a very good reason why this happens+ 4t $ight not always be necessary for a student to stop and do this:

but: so$eti$es we can get stuck: it is because we forgot to du$p out the rubbish in our $inds first before we atte$pted the pure practice of this 7oving<,indness+ 4t8s good to know that there is a key to the solution for this+ Apparently in so$e cases: if we do get into trouble: we can clear the runway for our Mindfulness of 7oving< ,indness to take off by first learning to use Mindfulness of 1orgiveness $editation+ .his is an e9tre$ely powerful and cleansing practice+ .he reason this book ca$e into being is because of the $any 3uestions teachers are asked about 6why doesn8t $y Metta co$e up easilyC8+ 4t is because we need to forgive ourselves first before we can send out pure love to others+ HAP.=0 2D= At ti$es: there can be confusion about how to effectively practice this $indfulness of 1orgiveness $editation+ So: this booklet is dedicated to only this $editation so you can begin the practice with a clear goal and better understanding+ /hen people are practicing 7oving<,indness Meditation: they $ight run into a barrier as they try to send out 7oving<,indness to the$selves and to others+ 4f this happens: around the fourth day into a retreat at the Dha$$a Sukha Meditation enter

@DSM A: in that case: it $ay be suggested for the $editator to back up a $o$ent and start doing the 1orgiveness Meditation first to overco$e these blocks+ After all: we cannot sincerely send love and forgiveness to so$eone else when we do not have it for ourselves+ .his practice is not only used for a person pursuing 7oving<,indness and o$passion $editation+ Any person can $ake the co$$it$ent to cleaning house by doing this forgiveness work+ After this work is done for the first ti$e: one feels $any

years younger because often ti$es: a great weight that has been lifted off our heart and $ind+ .his is another fine tool to keep around in 7ife8s 7ittle .oolbo9+ So$e people have the idea that this $editation is a co$pletely different kind of $editation fro$ the 7oving<,indness $editation+ .hat is not so+ 4t should be $ade clear fro$ the beginning that the 1orgiveness Meditation is not outside of the develop$ent of 7oving<,indness+ 1or anyone who has difficulty: this can be the first step of it+ 4t creates a fir$ bridge between heart and $ind that is then used to help all other kinds of $editation succeed+ .herefore we can see that the practice of 1orgiveness Meditation 4S a part of 7oving<,indness+ 4t is a cleansing for the heartE a preparatory opening of the heart we can add to our initial practice of Generosity+ 4n truth: this $editation is probably the $ost powerful $editation that 4 know of+ 4t can clear away $ental blocks that pop up fro$ old attach$ents or dislikes towards various people or events that happened to you in your past life+ 4f you follow directions closely: and you are patient when you practice: then pain and suffering will gradually dissolve any hard<heartedness you still carry in your $ind about past life wounds+ /hen you practice 1orgiveness $editation: all of the basic rules will re$ain the sa$e+ Fou still sit in a reasonably 3uiet space to do this work+ Be sure you are wearing loose co$fortable clothing+ Sit in a co$fortable position: on the floor or in a chair+ 4f you do use a chair: don8t lean too heavily into the back of the chair+ Sit with your spine nicely straight but not tightly erect+ Sit in a position that does not bring up physical pain in general for you+ Fou should follow the basics of practicing 0ight =ffort using .ran3uil /isdo$ 4nsight Meditation @./4MA and the G08sH for your $editation cycle to acco$plish your goal+

/hen you practice: sit for a $ini$u$ of (% $inutes each ti$e+ Sit longer if things are going s$oothly and you have the ti$e+ /hatever ti$e you decide to break your sitting: stand up slowly+ ,eep your observation forgiveness $editation going as you stand up+ Stretch slowly if desired+ D2/: you are going to take a walk+ 4f you are going to continue sitting again: or you are going to return to a task in daily life: before you do: take a stroll: at a nor$al pace to keep your blood flowing nicely+ Please keep your forgiveness $editation going while you walk for about *& $inutes $ini$u$ in so$e fresh air+ B& $inutes is a good $a9i$u$ ti$e for walking+ 4f you are working in a restricted space setting: find a space that is level and at least (% feet long in length+ /alk back and forth: and $entally: keep your $editation going+ ,eep s$iling! .he idea of sitting and walking is to create a continuous flow of $editation without stopping+ .his proves you can keep the $editation with you all the ti$e in life+ /hile walking at this nor$al pace: continue doing the forgiveness $editation with your eyes looking down towards the ground about G or I feet in front of you+ Do not look around+ ,eep on gently forgiving+ ,eep s$iling all the ti$e+ /hile you are sitting: do not $ove at all+ Don8t wiggle your toes: don8t scratch+ 4f your body needs to cough or snee;e: do not hold this inE 5ust snee;e or cough! ,eep so$e tissues close by for any tears that $ight arise+ 4f tears do fall: let the$ co$e+ .hat is what you have holes in your eyelids for+ JgrinK So let the tears co$e out+ .his releases pressure+ pri$ary $editations+ onsider this the cleansing ti$e before you take up any other

/hile practicing 1orgiveness $editation: please use 2D7F this $editation and put all other $editation instructions aside until you have co$pleted this work+ .his 5ust $eans that we don8t want to confuse $ind: so: don8t $i9 up the recipe! .hat8s all the infor$ation you need for beginning this practice+

HAP.=0 ./2 .he way you start practicing forgiveness $editation is by forgiving yourself+ .here are different kinds of state$ents that you can use for this to help bring up any old grudges and hard<heartedness locked inside you+ Fou $ay pick one state$ent to begin and then please stay with that state$ent for a period of ti$e to give it a chance to settle into you and see what pops up+ .he first suggested phrase is " I forgive myself for not understanding. =verybody has $isunderstandings that happen in their life+ Dobody is e9e$pt fro$ this fact+ Dow you repeat the phrase: "4 forgive $yself for not understanding#+ After you8ve done that: you go to the radiation in your heart where you built up the $etta: and radiate loving<kindness to yourself+ /hen that feeling fades away or $ind gets distracted: then you co$e back and forgive yourself for not understanding again+ /hile you8re doing this: your $ind is going to have so$e resistance to this+ Four $ind is going to take off and say: Well, this is stupid! I shouldnt e doing this! !here are other things I need to forgive. 0eactions like this are part of your little

attach$ents+ Stay with your state$ent and repeat: "I forgive myself for not understanding#+ .hen your $ind $ight say: ""#! I dont need to do this anymore. !his meditation doesnt $or%. =very thought that pulls you away fro$ forgiving yourself for not understanding is an attach$ent and has to be let go of and rela9+ .his is where you use the G08s you learned with your basic $editation practice+ .he G08s are &ecogni'e( &elease ( &ela) ( &e*+mile , &eturn , &epeat. .hat is the entire cycle+ Fou 0= 2GD4L= that $ind is distracted+ Fou &-.-"+- the distraction by not keeping your attention on it+ Fou &-."/ the tightness in your head and heart and you +MI.-E then you softly co$e back to the state$ent and you stay with the state$ent for as long as you can+ 4t doesn8t $atter how $any ti$es your $ind gets distracted+ 2ne thing that $any people get caught with is getting wrapped up in the story about things and this can cause lots of pain and suffering along with so$e frustration+ .he G08s will help you to see how strong the attach$ent is and it shows the way to overco$e the suffering+ 0ecogni;e this+ 7et it be+ 0ela9+ S$ile+ o$e back and stay with the forgiveness for as long as you can+

HAP.=0 .H0== 2ne $istake that an awful lot of people $ake is they say: $ell, meditation is 0ust for sitting. !he rest of the time I dont have anything else to do, so, I can let mind act li%e it al$ays does. .his is a $istake+ /e need to consider the idea that Meditation is life and 7ife is $editation+ Fou want to reali;e that you have attach$ents in your daily life and 5ust because you are not sitting doesn8t $ean those attach$ents aren8t there+ .he whole point in doing the $editation is for personality develop$ent+ 4t8s for letting go of old habitual suffering MbhavaN: and in place of this: developing a $ind that has e3uani$ity in it+ .he $ore resistance your $ind has in doing this: the $ore you need to do it: because the resistance is your $ind showing you where your attach$ent is and: that is the cause of suffering+ .his $editation works better than anything that 4 know of for letting go of attach$ents: letting go and rela9ing of old hard<hearted feelings MbhavaO: letting go of the way you think the world is supposed to be: so you can start accepting the way the world actually is+ Four $ind $ight say: Well, I dont li%e that! I dont li%e the $ay they said this or that. Ask yourself now: "who doesn8t like itC /ho is 5udging and conde$ningC /ho is $aking up a storyC /ho is caught by their attach$entC Well, 1I am! 4t $ight be helpful here to give a definition of attach$ent+ An attach$ent is anything we take personally: any thought: any feeling: any sensation! /hen we think these thoughts or feelings are "$ine#: this is "$e#: this is who "4# a$: at that point: $ind has beco$e attached and this causes craving to arise in your both $ind and body+

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raving always $anifests as a tension or tightness in both $ind and body+ raving is the "4# like it: "4# don8t like it $ind < which arises in everyone8s $ind'body process+ Attach$ent is another word for craving and is the start of all suffering+ /hen we see that everything that arises is part of an i$personal process: then: we begin to understand what it is like to see things with a clear observant $ind+ So$ebody $ight say so$ething very innocently and you hear it through your attach$ent and it8s negative+ .his is why we have to learn how to beco$e aware of what is happening all the ti$e in our daily lives+ /hen you get done sitting in your $editation for (% $inutes: B& $inutes: or for an hour and you start walking around: what does your $ind doC 4t takes off 5ust like it always does+ 4t thinks about this+ 4t thinks about that+ .hese are .his is 5ust non<sense thoughts+ Most of us think those thoughts and those feelings that arise are ours personallyE that they are not 5ust rando$ things+ But: in truth: if you feed any kind of a thought or feeling with your attention: you $ake it bigger and $ore intense+ /hen you reali;e that you are causing your own suffering: you have to forgive yourself for doing that+ .his $eans saying: I forgive myself for not understanding. I forgive myself completely. 2f course: your $ind is going to take off again and say: # "W! !his is stupid! !his is nothing. !his isnt real. !his isnt $hat is actually happening. 1I dont $ant to do this! =very one of those thoughts is an attach$ent: isn8t itC =very one of those thoughts has craving in it: doesn8t itC =very one of those thoughts is causing you suffering: rightC

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Because of this: you have to 0= 2GD4L= that you are doing this to yourself and let go of those thoughts+ .hat8s 5ust nonsense stuff anyway+ 4t doesn8t have anything to do with what you are doing and where you are right now+ 2nce you know this: you forgive yourself for not understandingE for causing yourself painE for causing other people pain+ F2P 0=A77F 120G4!=+ .ake a look at when you are walking fro$ here to there+ /hat are you doing with your $indC #o #um. !hin%ing a out this, and, I gotta do that, and, I have to go tal% to that person, and, I have to do this. All of that8s non<sense! Dow: this doesn8t $ean that you can8t plan what you need to do ne9t+ Fou can+ But 5ust do that planning one ti$e as your pri$ary topic in the present $o$ent+ After you $ake up your $ind what the plan is: you don8t have to think about it any$ore+ 0epeating it: rolling it around againE all of that is 5ust part of your old habitual tendency @bhava in PaliA of thinking your thoughts and feelings: and taking the$ personally and causing yourself distractions and suffering+

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HAP.=0 12P0 4ncluding the e9ercise of forgiveness in your daily activity is by far the $ost i$portant part of this $editation+ Fou forgive yourself continually: for not understanding: for getting caught up in this or that: for taking things personally+ How $any ti$es have you found yourself doing thisC #ey! I dont li%e the $ay you said that. Ask yourself+ /H2 doesn8t like whatC Well, you said something that $as hurtful. .o /H2MC Fou need to stop and reali;e that you8re taking all this stuff personally and it8s not personal+ 4t8s 5ust stuff that happens+ 1orgive it! 1orgive it even when you8re walking along a road and you happen to kick a rock and it hurts+ 1orgive the pain for being there! Four 5ob is to keep your $ind forgiving all the ti$e+ .hat8s what Mindfulness of 1orgiveness Meditation practice is all about+ .he practice is not 5ust about when you are sitting+ .his is a life practice+ .his is an all<the<ti$e practice+ 4f you want to really begin to change: you have to be willing to go through the forgiveness sincerely: because it will help you change a lot+ Fou have to have patience and it helps to have a sense of hu$or about 5ust how du$b $ind can be+ .he $ore you s$ile and laugh the easier the $editation beco$es+

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HAP.=0 14!= /henever you personally continue to think about this and that: to 5udge this and conde$n that: you are constantly causing yourself suffering+ Fou don8t need to do that+ Fou want to argue with other people about your attach$entsC /hat8s the pointC /hen you really start practicing forgiveness for yourself: or forgiveness for another person: your $ind starts to get into balance and your sense of hu$or begins to change+ Four $ind develops balance+ .his is e3uani$ity+ .hen you don8t take thoughts: and feelings and sensations and all this other stuff personally+ /hen you practice in this way: you are seeing life for what it is and allowing it to be there+ 4t8s not worth going over it in your $ind: and over it: and over it: and over it+ 4t8s not worth it+ 4t8s a waste of ti$e+ 4t8s a waste of effort+ =very ti$e you have a repeat thought: you are attached+ Fou8re identifying with that thought and you8re taking it personally and that is again the cause of suffering + /hat you are seeing here is the Second Doble .ruth+ Fou are witnessing how raving: taking it personally is the cause of suffering+ And you can8t bla$e anybody else for it+ 4t8s yours+ Fou are doing it all to yourself+ W-.., they said this! So whatC

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2thers $ay have their opinion+ .hat doesn8t $ean 648 have to listen to the$+ 4 don8t have to take it in personally and analy;e whether it8s correct or not: because it doesn8t $atter+ .he $ore you forgive in your daily life and daily activities: the easier it is to forgive the big things that happened in the past+

HAP.=0 S4Q /hen you8re doing the 1orgiveness Meditation while you8re sitting: you8re staying with one of the suggested state$ents+ Fou stay with that one state$ent until you internally feel: "2-+, I really do forgive myself for not understanding. 4t8s i$portant to work this through+ .o really forgive can take a while+ 4t8s not 5ust so$e 3uick fi9 to do in one sitting and then you co$e in and say : 34, no$ Im done!, or you say: Ive already done that+ Doing that is not where you8re going to get real change+ Dope+ Fou still have your attach$ents there+ Fou still have to continually forgive yourself for not understanding: forgive yourself for $aking a $istake+ .hat is what not understanding is about+ Fou have to forgive yourself for 5udging: for conde$ning: for analy;ing: for thinking: for getting angry+ 1orgive everything: all of the ti$e+

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/hen 4 started to do the forgiveness $editation: which: 4 did personally for $yself for two years: because 4 wanted to $ake sure 4 really understood this $editation: 4 went through $a5or changes+ .here were $a5or changesE $a5or personality changes+ 4f you want that for yourself: you have to have that kind of patience+ .his idea of: Well, Ive already forgiven this person or that person : that si$ply isn8t it+ A little later on you figure out that you8re talking about how F2P didn8t like this or that fro$ the$! Ah! Guess whatC /ho hasn8t finished their forgiveness $editationC 235 haven8t forgiven yourself or that other person!

HAP.=0 S=!=D /hen you start to go deeper in your $editation: staying with the 1orgiveness: and you do forgive yourself for $aking $istakes: there can co$e a ti$e when so$ebody pops up into your $ind that you need to forgive+ /hen this happens: you reali;e that you did not ask the$ to co$e up+ Fou do not stop and say: Well, I need this person to come up. .hey ca$e up by the$selves+ As soon as that person co$es up: you start forgiving the$: for not understanding+ 4t doesn8t $atter what they did in the past+ All of your thoughts: all of your opinions of what they did in the past 5ust keep bringing up $ore suffering+

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.hese thoughts co$e up because of your attach$ent+ I didnt li%e that! I didnt $ant that to happen! !hey are a dirty no good so and so ecause they did that to me. an you guess where the attach$ent isC Guess where the idea is that 4

can bla$e so$ebody else for $y sufferingC .he only person you can bla$e for your suffering is yourself+ /hyC Because: 235 are the one that too% it personally. Fou8re the one who had an opinion about it+ Fou8re the one that used your habitual tendencies MbhavaO over and over again to 5ustify the idea that Im right and youre wrong+ .hat8s how we cause our own suffering+ .he forgiveness $editation helps you let go of that opinion: that idea: that attach$ent: and feel so$e relief+ Because so$e past person did or said so$ething that caused anger: resent$ent: 5ealousy: pain or whatever the catch of that ti$e was R it can have a real tendency for your $ind to get caught up in thinking about that past event+ .his is called getting caught by the story+ Fou need to use the G08s and then go back to your forgiveness state$ent+ 4t doesn8t $atter how $any ti$es the story arises: please use the G08s and then forgive again+ .he story8s e$otion will fade away after you do this enough+ .his is where patience is needed+

HAP.=0 =4GH. /hen you see so$eone else co$e up in your $ind: so$ebody you really had a rough ti$e with and you didn8t like itE so$eone you started hating for whatever reason: you forgive the$+ /ith your $ind8s eye: you look the$ straight in their eye and you tell the$ sincerely> I forgive you for not understanding the situation, I forgive you for causing me pain, I forgive you completely.

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Dow: keep that person in your heart and radiate loving<kindness to the$+ 4f your $ind has a distraction and it pulls you away fro$ thatE you $ight hear in your $ind: 6o, I dont, that no good so and so. I $ont forgive him! Psing the G08s: let go of this and co$e back and say: I do forgive you. 4t has to be sincere+ Well, Im not going to forgive that dirty no good so and so. /hy notC 7ecause, they caused 1M- suffering! 2ops! /H2 caused who sufferingC 235 caused your o$n self suffering because you took it personally: and 235 reinforced that with a lot of thoughts and opinions and ideas about why that was wrong+ 4n other words: you were caught in your craving: your clinging: your habitual tendency and that leads to $ore and $ore dissatisfaction: aversion: pain and suffering

HAP.=0 D4D=

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4t8s really i$portant to reali;e that this is not an easy practice+ 4t8s hard to forgive so$eone when they have really caused you har$+ .ake a wo$an that has been raped or a $an who has been beaten and robbed+ 4t8s hard to forgive the person who raped the$ or beat the$ because they have been violated+ But: holding onto their hatred of that person is keeping the$ attached+ 4t doesn8t $atter what the action was+ 4t doesn8t $atter what happened in the past+ /hat $atters is what you are doing with what you have right now in your $ind+ .o co$pletely develop this practice to the highest level $eans that you keep forgiving and you keep forgiving! /ith your $ind8s eye: you look the$ straight in the eye and you say, I really do forgive you. And your $ind says: 63, I 836! And you let that go: and G0: and co$e back+ Fou say: I really do forgive you. .hen you take that person and put the$ into your heart and radiate loving<kindness to the$+ How long do you do thatC !s long as it ta"es. 1or so$e attach$ents: one or two sittings is all you will need+ So$e other attach$ents: $ight take a weekE $ight take two weeks or even longer+ /ho knowsC 4t doesn8t $atter+ 4f you need ti$e: you can take ti$e! Fou have all the ti$e there is+

Fou will feel a very: very strong sense of relief when you let go of the hatred you have towards these people+ .hen anyti$e you think of the$: you kind of think of the$ with a $ind that says: $ell, they made a mista%e, they didnt %no$ $hat they $ere doing. Its o%. .hat8s how you let go of an attach$ent @cravingA+ .hat8s how you let go of the pain of that past situation+ .his doesn8t $ean that the person who was violated is going

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to go up and hug the person who did that to the$+ .hey would avoid the$ because they know there is a possibility of personal har$+ But they don8t hate the$ any$ore+ .hat8s what the forgiveness is all about+ 4t8s about letting go+ Fou are letting go of old dissatisfaction'dislikes+ Fou are developing a $ind that says: $ell thats o%. 2ou can e li%e that. .hat is not taking it personally+

HAP.=0 .=D .he biggest part of the Mindfulness of 1orgiveness Meditation is learning how to let go of your personal opinions: ideas: concepts: stories+ Fou $ight stay with a person for a long period of ti$e because of your opinions and your attach$ent to this+

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=very ti$e you are doing any walking or sitting $editation: keep forgiving the$ over and over again+ Four $ind $ight get bored with that and say: 3#. I dont $ant to do this anymore! /ell that8s another kind of attach$ent: isn8t itC So: what do you do with thatC Fou have to get through it by forgiving the boredo$ for being there+ .hat8s ok+ Four $ind is tricky+ 4t8s going to try to distract you any way it can+ 4t8ll bring up any kind of feelings and thoughts and ideas to distract you: because: it doesn8t like the idea of giving up attach$ents+ Four $ind really feels co$fortable: holding onto attach$ents+ /e need to go easy on ourselves as we develop this practice+ After all: how $any years did it take us to build up our habits MbhavaOC 4t takes patience to $ove in the opposite direction now and to change those unwholeso$e $ind<states into new wholeso$e tendencies+ Be kind to yourself and take your ti$e+ .he whole point of the Meditation is 7=A0D4DG H2/ .2 HADG=+ 7earning how to let go of those old non<sense ideas and thoughts and develop ne$ ideas and thoughts that $ake you happy and $ake other people around you happy too+ .hat8s the whole reason for the precepts+ .hey outline an option for us to follow so we gain balance in our life+ 7et8s take a 3uick look at the precepts+ Do not kill any living beings on purpose+ Don8t take what is not freely given to you @no stealingA+ Don8t engage in wrong se9ual activity with another person8s $ate or a person too young living with their parents+ 4n short: don8t do anything that will cause $ental or physical har$ to any other hu$an being+ Don8t engage in telling lies: using harsh language: gossip: or slander+ 7astly:

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don8t8 take recreational drugs or alcohol because these will weaken $ind and the tendency to break the other precepts will co$e up! .hese precepts are like an ulti$ate operational $anual for life+ 4f you keep the$ well: then you get the $ost out of your life: they $ake you and others around you happy+ .he $ore you can continually follow the$: the better your fra$e of $ind will beco$e+ Fou will $ore easily forgive that other person: your $ind will beco$e softer towards that person: and you will feel $ore relief+ /hat happens is: after you practice this way for a while: then you go "h. I do, I really do forgive you! and there8s no: energy behind it at all+ Its 0ust li%e, yeah, this happened9 its in the past9 its no ig deal. .his is what 1orgiveness is all about+

HAP.=0 =7=!=D How can this practice affect the rest of your daily lifeC .his is a good 3uestion+ Fou8re $ore open: you8re $ore accepting+ Fou8re not 5udging+ Fou8re not conde$ning+ Fou8re not dis<liking: because as you see that tightness of $ind co$ing up in you: and you go: 3ops! I forgive you for not understanding this one! and you smile. JgrinK Fou let it go+ 2ne of the hardest things a guiding teacher has to do is to teach people that 1.ife is supposed to e fun. 4t8s a ga$e! ,eep it light! 4f you: play with your $ind and your attach$ents: that $eans you are not being attached to the$ so $uch+ As you play with

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the$: you8re not taking the$ so seriously any$ore+ /hen you don8t take the$ seriously: they8re easier to let go of+ .hat8s what the Buddha was teaching us! He was teaching us how to have an uplifted $ind all of the ti$eE how to be able to be light with your thoughts: with your feelings: and your ideas: and your past actions+ Fes+ 4t8s true+ 2n so$e occasion you $ade a $istake+ /ellC 2k! /elco$e to the hu$an race! 4 don8t know of anyone who hasn8t $ade a $istake and felt guilty about it+ Sure they do+ And what is that guiltC Don<forgiveness+ .hat8s an e9a$ple of your $ind grabbing onto what8s happening and saying: I really scre$ed up and I need to punish myself for that. .hat8s what your $ind is saying+ Dow do you see what you can do about thisC 0ight! .he $ore you beco$e serious with your daily life: the $ore attach$ents you will have+ .he less e3uani$ity: the less $ental balance you will have in your life+ .here is no 3uestion about it+ Fou8re on these roller coastersE e$otional roller coasters: up and down: up and down: up and down+ /hen you start forgiving $ore: those high high8s: and low low8s start to turn into little waves+ Fou still have so$e+ But you don8t get caught for as long+ Fou 5ust stop and say: this 0ust isnt important enough to get upset a out. After you forgive that person: you stay with the$E you stay with that person that8s co$e up into your $ind until you feel like: -nough! I dont have to do this anymore. I really have forgiven you. At that point: with your $ind8s eye: you look the$ straight

23

in the eye: and you stop verbali;ing and you hear the$ say back to you> I forgive you too. /ow! Dow this is different: isn8t itC 4t8s kind of re$arkable+ Fou have this feeling of being forgiven as well as you forgiving the$! Fou8ve forgiven yourself for $aking $istakes: for not understanding+ Fou8ve forgiven that other person for $aking $istakes: for not understanding: or causing pain: whatever you want using the state$ent that really $akes it true for you+ And: now: you hear the$ say I forgive you. .here is a real sense of relief+ Wo$! /hat happens in your $ind now is that -2F co$es up in your $ind+ Fou feel light+ Fou feel really happy+ Happier then you ever felt before+ Fou didn8t reali;e you were carrying these big bundles of rocks on your shoulders: holding you down: did youC And now: you have put the$ down+ /hen you forgive: the heaviness of those hard feelings and "rocks# disappear+ Fou feel light+ "3h M"6! !his &-"..2 is great stuff! 4t takes a lot of work: but: it8s worth it+ 4t8s not easy+ /hy isn8t it easyC Because of the a$ount of attach$ent we have when we begin+ Fou keep doing the $editation and when you get done with one person: you go back to yourself+ Fou repeat> " I forgive myself for ma%ing mista%es. I forgive myself for not understanding. Fou stay with yourself until so$ebody else co$es up into your $ind+ Fou keep on doing

that until your $ind says: 34. Ive done it. -verything is good. !heres no ody else. -nough! At this ti$e: you can switch back to your Mindfulness of 7oving<,indness $editation and $ake it your pri$ary for$al practice+ Dow you can understand why

24

Mindfulness of 1orgiveness Meditation is definitely part of 7oving<,indness+ How can you ever practice 7oving<,indness if you have hatredC Fou can8t+ .his practice releases the Hatred+

HAP.=0 ./=7!= .his practice has D2 si$ple: easy: fast<fi9 here! Fou can8t 5ust buy the solution this ti$e at the Mall either+ Fou have to patiently continue this practice all the ti$e until you release the unwholeso$e $ind<states which are your old habitual tendencies MbhavaO of $ind+

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Depending how attached you are to the idea that a person wronged you: or the idea of how badly you screwed up: this leads you into " I can never forgive myself. Pntil you finally go through this process of forgiveness: you will not be free of this burden+ Fou /477 know when you have gone entirely through the Mindfulness of 1orgiveness Meditation because then you will be free and you will see clearly this is how 1orgiveness really works+ Are you doneC Fou don8t have to have anybody to tell you that this worked+ Fou8ll know! .he daily continuous work of this practice is $ost i$portant+ /hen you are walking fro$ one place to another: 4 don8t care what you are doing+ Any kind of distraction that co$es up: forgive it+ S$ile+ 4f a person co$es up to you and they start talking and you don8t want to talk: 120G4!= .H=M+ .hey don8t understand+ .hey don8t understand what you are doing+ 4t8s ok that they don8t understand+ 4t8s ok that they don8t know where you are or what you are doing+ .hey can 5udge you: they can conde$n you: they can cause all kinds of distractions: and that8s fine+ .hey can do that+ BP.: as for you: you can forgive the$ for it+ As you are forgiving the$: you are letting go of the attachment to the $ay I thin% things are supposed to e. Dot understanding can be a really big thing+ Because we don8t understand so $uchE we have our own opinions and ideas of the way things are supposed to workE that can be a proble$+ /e get caught up by assu$ption+ .hat8s it: isn8t itC /hat happens when things don8t $atch your idea of the way things are supposed to workC /hat thenC Fou $ay find yourself fighting with 0=A74.F which is

26

the truth: the Dha$$a of the present $o$ent! Fou8re not accepting the reality that8s right there in front of you+ Fou begin 5udging and conde$ning: and: $ost often: bla$ing so$ebody else for: disturbing you+ /ell: 48$ sorry+ .hey8re not disturbing your practice+ !#-2 "&- :"&! 3F !#:&"C!IC-! .here8s no such a thing as so$ething else: or so$eone else: disturbing MF P0A .4 =+ 4t8s only $e fighting with what is real: the 0=A74.F: the Dha$$a of the present $o$ent: not liking this or that: and ne9t: 4 a$ bla$ing so$ebody else 20 so$ething else for the cause of that+

HAP.=0 .H40.==D /hat about sounds disturbing us while we practiceC So$eti$es: in a retreat: if you are concentrating too hard you can observe what can happen+ Fou could get S2 upset if there is even one s3ueak of a door: or so$eone is walking by too heavily near you: or breathing too loudly+ Fou $ight 5u$p up thinking 3#! 2ou distur ed my practice! Do you begin to see how ridiculous this actually isC /hat is happening here is that the present $o$ent produced a noiseE and there was noise: and then: $ind ca$e up and said: I dont li%e this. !hats not supposed to e there. I $ant to

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complain to some ody, and ma%e them stop so M2 mind can e peaceful! /hat is actually happening is concentration is out of balance with $indfulness+ oncentration is too strong and $indfulness is too weak+ Hahaha! How cra;y is thatC 4f you can8t accept what8s happening in the present $o$ent: with a balanced $ind: there will be suffering+ 2,! So! .here8s a noise+ !heres some ody tal%ing! SoC 4t doesn8t $atter 5ust as long as you have mindfulness and e;uanimity in your $ind+ /hen balance is in your $ind: if there is a noise: that8s 5ust fine+ AndC Fou can do your forgiveness $editation! /hile 4 was in Asia on a three $onth retreat+ .here was a water well pu$p that was drilling for water right outside of the $editation hall+ .hree $onths of an old clanky $otor running fro$ S o8clock in the $orning until G o8clock at night+ .his can happen: you knowC 2ne continuous noise! 4t was really loud and really annoying: but: it was 5ust sound+ .hat8s all it was+ 4 reali;ed that it was not " M2# sound+ "6My# dislike of that sound wasn8t going to change that sound+ " My critici;ing of the person that started the $otor wasn8t going to $ake that sound any different+ Do you see where all the attach$ents are in this e9a$pleC .he e9ercise here is accepting the fact that sound is here: and it8s ok for sound to be here+ 4t has to be ok: because: that8s what8s in the present $o$ent+ .hat8s the truth MDha$$aO+ Accepting the present $o$ent is accepting the Dha$$a 5ust as it is+ /henever there is a disturbance: forgive the disturbance continually in your $ind+ 120G4!=+ S$ile+ 1orgive yourself for not understanding+ .hat is how we work with 1orgiveness in daily life+ 4 forgive $yself for wanting things to be $ore perfect than they are+ 4 forgive $yself for $aking $istakes+ 4 forgive $yself for being angry: and:

28

disliking this or that+ Dow we see that the forgiveness is not 5ust one state$ent: it can be $any+ /e take each of these state$ents into the practice and use the$ one by one+

HAP.=0 12P0.==D /hile you8re doing your sitting practice: once again: you 5ust want to take one state$ent of forgiveness at a ti$e+ Stay with 5ust one+ 0e$e$ber that this is not a mantra. Fou don8t surface say this and think about so$ething else either+ 4t has to be sincere+ I really do forgive myself for ma%ing mista%es or for not understanding or $hatever+ 4t8s i$portant to be sincere when you do this+ .he $ore you can continually forgive: with your daily activities: with your sitting: with your walking $editation: whatever you happen to be doingE you need to reali'e that this is what $editation is really about+ Meditation is not about gaining so$e super<hu$an state of $ind+ 4t8s not 5ust about bliss+ 4t is $ore productive than that+ 4t8s about learning how you cause your own suffering and how to let go of that suffering+ .he deeper super<hu$an states of $editation will co$e up by the$selves when we clear our $inds and si$ply allow this to happen+ Fou don8t have to personally do anything+

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!he more you clear yourself: the $ore you clear your $ind of 5udg$ents: opinions: concepts: ideas: and the $ore you accept what8s happening in the present $o$ent, the more 0oyful life ecomes+ !he easier life ecomes. /hat8s that you are saying nowC Well, I have this ha it of al$ays analy'ing and thin%ing. 2,: let it go+ 75! I have een doing this my $hole life. SoC Hey! 1orgive yourself for not understanding+ 1orgive yourself for analy;ing+ .here can be a strong attach$ent to wanting to analy;e+ .hat8s the /estern disease+ I $ant to %no$ ho$ everything $or%s. Fou don8t learn how things work by thinking about the$+ Fou let go and rela9 to see how things work when you forgive: and: you let go and rela9 to develop space in your $ind to observe how they work+ .he truth is that: in $editation: thinking $ind: analy;ing $ind is incredibly slow+ .he aware $ind is incredibly fast+ 4t8s e9traordinary! Fou 5ust can8t get there with a lot of words in the way+ Fou can8t have opinions in the way+ .hey will block you+ .hey will stop you fro$ seeing the way things truly are+

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HAP.=0 141.==D Four 1orgiveness Meditation is $ore than 5ust about old attach$ents like: Well, $hen I $as five years old, .ittle <ohnny, he eat me up and Ive hated him ever since then. See how this is about you and uncovering this attach$ent and how you hold onto it: and how you cause yourself pain because of that attach$entC Most especially these days: people are really big on bla$ing everybody but the$selves for their pain: and: the 3uestion here should be: is that $or%ing $ith reality or not= 4t8s easy to say: 235 caused me pain. I dont li%e you. But: did so$eone else cause you painC 2r did 4 5ust say so$ething and you had another kind of an opinion: and: 5udged and conde$ned whatever 4 said: and then: your aversion ca$e up: and the dislike of the whole situation: and now: you8re off to the races and you8re a thousand $iles away+ Fou are causing yourself pain and you8re running into your thinking: 7ut, Im only thin%ing and analy'ing. Ha ha ha ha ha! Fou8re attached! Fou think: !his attachment $ont hurt me so much if I %eep distracted. I can %eep M2 opinions, and my ideas a out the $ay things are supposed to e, and then, I dont have to change! But: you8re fooling yourself+ #hange is the only way to free $ind+ Meditation is about positive change+

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HAP.=0 S4Q.==D 4n su$$ary: BPDDH4SM is about reali;ing that you need to have a balanced and $indful $ind: that doesn8t have high e$otions in it: that doesn8t8 have attach$ents in it: so that you can see things clearly and discover real happiness and content$ent in daily life+ BPDDH4SM is about seeing the way things truly areE gaining knowledge by seeing for yourself how you are the cause of your own pain+ 4t8s about taking personal responsibility and doing the work needed to find this kind of $indfulness: balance and understanding+ Mindfulness of 1orgiveness Meditation trains us to recogni;e clearly when suffering arises M1irst Doble .ruthOE to notice how we get personally involved with it and $ake it bigger which causes $ore suffering in life MSecond Doble .ruthOE and to escape this dangerous trap by using the G08s and seeing how it disappears M.hird Doble .ruthOE .his $editation opens the way for clear understanding and relief M1ourth Doble .ruthO+

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.he end<result creates the space we need in our $ind so that we begin to respond to life instead of re<acting+ Psing the G08s: which fulfills the practice of 0ight =ffort found in the early te9tsE using it with any $editation you are doing: this is one of the fastest ways for all people to see clearly what is really going on and to reach this kind of destination where there can be happiness and Peace+ 4n sutta nu$ber )* of the Ma55hi$a Dikaya: as translated by Bhikkhu Bodhi: within .he Middle 7ength Sayings8 and published by /isdo$ Publications: it gives us so$e e9cellent advice that 4 would like to share with you now+ 4t says>

There are these five courses of speech that others ma$ use when the$ address $ou% their speech ma$ &e timel$ or untimel$% true or untrue% gentle or harsh% connected with good or connected with harm% spo"en with a mind of loving-"indness or with inner hatred. This is how I should train' M$ mind shall &e unaffected and I will utter no evil words( I shall a&ide compassionate for their welfare% with a mind of loving-"indness% without inner hate. I shall a&ide pervading that person )whoever $ou tal" with* with a mind im&ued with loving-"indness )and forgiveness* and starting with him% I shall a&ide pervading the all-encompassing world with a mind im&ued with loving-"indness% a&undant% e+alted% immeasura&le% without hostilit$ and without ill-will . That is how I should train.

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Please use this 1orgiveness Meditation often and train your $ind to be happy and you will s$ile $ore in life: 4 know it+

4n closing: 4 always like to share $erit in this way+ +haring Merit May suffering ones, e suffering free, "nd the fear*struc%, fearless e. May the grieving shed all grief, "nd may all eings find relief.

May all eings share this merit !hat $e have thus ac;uired, For the ac;uisition of all %inds of happiness.

May eings inha iting space and earth, 8evas and 6agas of mighty po$er share this merit of ours. May they long protect !he 7uddhas 8ispensation

".he gift of Dha$$a is the highest and best of all gifts#

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Dha$$a Sukha Meditation

enter< S)*S

ounty 0oad )%B: Annapolis: M2 G(G)% <

PSA P07> www+dha$$asukha+org =$ail> bhantevBuTdha$$asukha+org or

sisterkhe$aTdha$$asukha+org

"::-68I/ >

" ;uic% rush*up summary on +imple, -asy to 5nderstand Mindfulness

,.-.M.#.

Tranquil .isdom Insight Meditation Training which is applied as the &asic framewor" to all meditations for successful progress. Meditation is "observing $ind8s attention as it $oves $o$ent<to<$o$ent in order to see precisely 6H2/8 suffering occurs happens+ .oo understand clearly we study the i$personal process of Hu$an ognition+ Hu$an ognition @which in Buddhis$ is called observing dependent originationA is a step<by<step look at how we e9perience our environ$ent through our sense doors+ Seeing and understanding 6H2/8 $ind8 works as attention i$personally $oves fro$ one thing to another is what this ancient practice is about+ .his leads us to changing our behavior by adopting a $ore i$personal perspective towards life+ As you e9perience arising pheno$ena: you begin to see the true nature of all e9istence+ 4t takes a highly developed skill of $indfulness'observation

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for successful $editation to happen+ .ran3uil /isdo$ 4nsight Meditation @./4MA helps us to perfor$ defined Buddhist 0ight =ffort fluently within our practice+ .he "G0s# training is a reclai$ed ancient guidance syste$ that helps us to co$plete the B steps within this 0ight =ffort+ /e are perfecting an observation skill+ so that: one day: we can keep doing this auto$atically+ Before we can begin this training cycle: the $editator $ust activate M4DD1P7D=SS+ Fou $ust 0=M=MB=0 that the 5ob of $indfulness is to use your observation power for this practice to begin+ Mindfulness is the fuel+ 4t8s like gas for an engine+ /ithout Mindfulness: nothing happens! /ith persistence this practice will relieve suffering of all kinds+ .o begin the cycle "s$oothly# you $ust start the engine with lots of gas @$indfulnessA in the tank! &-C3?6I@-> Mindfulness helps us to re$e$ber how to observe the $ove$ent of $ind8s attention fro$ one thing to another+ .his observation notices any $ove$ent of $ind8s attention away fro$ an ob5ect of $editation: such as the breath: sending out of Metta or: even when your attention wanders fro$ a task in daily life+ Pleasant'painful feeling can occur at any one of the si9 sense doors+ Any sight: sound: odor: taste: touch: or thought can cause this pulling sensation to grow stronger if we personally get interested in it+ 4f you watch closely you can notice a slightly tense sensation in the head as $ind8s attention barely begins to $ove over to an arising pheno$ena+ /ith careful non<5udg$ental observation: you can begin to notice this slight tightening sensation+ 0= 2GD4L4DG this early sy$pto$ of craving leads to a successful $editation+ 2ne then continues on toE &-.-"+-> /hen a thought or feeling arises: 41 .H= .H2PGH. PP77S F2P0 A..=D.42D A/AF: the $editator 0=7=AS=S it: let8s it be there without giving any attention to it+ .he content of the distraction is not i$portant at all+ Seeing and understanding H2/ it arose I+ i$portant! -ust let go of any tightening around itE let it be there without placing attention on it+ /ithout feeding it $ore attention: the tightness passes away and then Mindfulness re$inds us toE &-."/> After releasing the feeling or sensation: and allowing it to be there without trying to control it: there is a subtle: barely noticeable tension still in the $ind and body+ .his is why the Buddha added the e9tra step of tran3uili;ation E the 0=7AQ step+ .his 4S a separate step fro$ the release step and $ust be perfor$ed+ .o drop deeper! :.-"+-, 836! +4I: !#I+ +!-:! A $otor can8t run s$oothly without oil in the engine+ onsider this step to be the oil!

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/ithout perfor$ing the rela9 step every ti$e: the $editator will not e9perience a close< up view of the ceasing @cessationA of the tension caused by craving+ Fou will not notice the relief when that tightness falls away+ Dote> Craving alwa$s first manifests as a tightness or tension in &oth one/s mind and &od$. Fou have only a $o$ent to see and e9perience the true nature and relief that co$es fro$ the cessation of this tightness and suffering while perfor$ing the 0=7=AS='0=7AQ steps+ Dotice this relief+ Mindfulness now re$inds us toE

&-*+MI.-> 4f you have listened to the $editation instructions at our website: $$$.dhammasu%ha.orgA+tudyAmetta.htm you $ight re$e$ber hearing how s$iling is an i$portant aspect for this $editation+ S$iling in your $ind: in your eyes: in your heart: and on your lips helps $ind sharpen awareness: beco$e alert: agile: and $ore observant+ Getting serious: tensing up or frowning causes $ind to beco$e heavy: dull: and slow+ .hen: 4nsights beco$e difficult to see+ .his slows down understanding the truth of H2/ things work+ So you 0e<s$ile+ Start again+ And keep up your hu$or: sense of fun: and curiosity+ After re<s$iling: the ne9t step is to> &-!5&6 or &-*8I&-C!> Gently re<direct $ind8s attention back to the ob5ect of $editation: that is: the reath and rela)ing: or metta and rela)ing, or your present tas%+ ontinue on with a gentle collected $ind using your ob5ect of $editation as your "ho$e base# + .his will help you stay in the present $o$ent in daily life too+ 4f you are ever pulled off a task: this is where you turn your attention back and continue rela9ing and s$iling into that task+ 4$agine: for a $o$ent: you are a resting under an Apple .ree: not having to be serious and tense about anything in life As you lean back against the tree: not thinking about anything: you attain a pleasant abiding with a light $ind+ .his is what first happened to the Buddha when he was very young while sitting under a 0ose<Apple .ree during a 0oyal Harvest 1estival+ 2n the night of his awakening: he re$e$bered this: released all desire and control and he fell into a deep state+ So$eti$es people say this practice cycle is si$pler than e9pected! 0eclai$ing this practice develops $ore effective focus for daily tasks: you will learn to respond instead of reacting in life: and you can sleep better too when Mind beco$es naturally balanced+

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Fou8ll get $ore efficient at whatever you do in life and: actually have $ore fun doing all of the things that used to be drudgery+ Mindfulness supports the practice happening all the ti$e+ Fou will re$e$ber toE &-:-"!> 0=P=A. the cycle to relieve suffering whenever it is needed in life+ 0epeating the "G0s cycle# retrains $ind to end suffering as we *A see and e9perience for ourselves what suffering is @1irst Doble .ruthAE )A discover the cause of it @cravingA and how it works @Second Doble .ruthAE (A e9perience the nature of the cessation of suffering @.hird Doble .ruthA E and BA discover a way to e9pand this state of the cessation of suffering wider into our daily life+ =ach ti$e we 0elease an arising feeling: 0ela9 and 0e<s$ile: there co$es 0elief+ @1ourth Doble .ruthA+

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About the Author .he principle guiding .eacher is our Abbot H+H+ Most !enerable Bhante !i$alara$si MahatheroE .rained through the Bur$ese

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.heravadan School and Mahasi Syste$ of training+ 1ounder> Pnited 4nternational Buddha Dha$$a Society )%%(: High Abbot for Dha$$a Sukha Meditation enter' Anathapindika8s Study Park o$ple9 )%%&<)%*): 2fficial 1ounder and Spiritual head for the Buddhist A$erican 1orest .radition )%%S<)%*)+ Bhante is Head teacher for .ran3uil /isdo$ 4nsight Meditation and he oversees the research: practice: preservation: and teaching of early foundation Buddhist teachings as found in the Pali te9ts+ He has been a $onk for over )G years now: with over (& yrs of practice with *) U years in Asia He holds the first 7ife ti$e position given to a 0epresentative for Buddhists in the PSA to the /orld Buddhist ouncil based in ,obe: -apan+ )%%G< Vuestions should be sent to Bhante !i$alara$si directly to BhantevBuTdha$$asukha+org or contact !en+ ,he$a S+D+ at sisterkhe$aTdha$$asukha+org

Any additional footnotes or co$$ents needed that you see>