Ministry of Education and Youth State Pedagogical University Ion Creanga English Philology Chair

Portfolio
The 4th year students: Cebotari Tatiana Paiu Ivan

Chisinau-2013

Three Men in a Boat By Jerome K. Jerome (Extract from Chapter I)

THERE were four of us - George, and William Samuel Harris, and myself, and Montmorency. We were sitting in my room, smoking, and talking about how bad we were - bad from a medical point of view I mean, of course. We were all feeling seedy, and we were getting quite nervous about it. Harris said he felt such extraordinary fits of giddiness come over him at times, that he hardly knew what he was doing; and then George said that HE had fits of giddiness too, and hardly knew what HE was doing. With me, it was my liver that was out of order. I knew it was my liver that was out of order, because I had just been reading a patent liver-pill circular, in which were detailed the various symptoms by which a man could tell when his liver was out of order. I had them all. It is a most extraordinary thing, but I never read a patent medicine advertisement without being impelled to the conclusion that I am suffering from the particular disease therein dealt with in its most virulent form. The diagnosis seems in every case to correspond exactly with all the sensations that I have ever felt. I remember going to the British Museum one day to read up the treatment for some slight ailment of which I had a touch - hay fever, I fancy it was. I got down the book, and read all I came to read; and then, in an unthinking moment, I idly turned the leaves, and began to indolently study diseases, generally. I forget which was the first distemper I plunged into - some fearful, devastating scourge, I know - and, before I had glanced half down the list of "premonitory symptoms," it was borne in upon me that I had fairly got it. I sat for awhile, frozen with horror; and then, in the listlessness of despair, I again turned over the pages. I came to typhoid fever - read the symptoms - discovered that I had typhoid fever, must have had it for months without knowing it - wondered what else I had got; turned up St. Vitus's Dance - found, as I expected, that I had that too, - began to get interested in my case, and determined to sift it to the bottom, and so started alphabetically - read up ague, and learnt that I was sickening for it, and that the acute stage would commence in about another fortnight. Bright's disease, I was relieved to find, I had only in a modified form, and, so far as that was concerned, I might live for
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years. Cholera I had, with severe complications; and diphtheria I seemed to have been born with. I plodded conscientiously through the twenty-six letters, and the only malady I could conclude I had not got was housemaid's knee. I felt rather hurt about this at first; it seemed somehow to be a sort of slight. Why hadn't I got housemaid's knee? Why this invidious reservation? After a while, however, less grasping feelings prevailed. I reflected that I had every other known malady in the pharmacology, and I grew less selfish, and determined to do without housemaid's knee. Gout, in its most malignant stage, it would appear, had seized me without my being aware of it; and zymosis I had evidently been suffering with from boyhood. There were no more diseases after zymosis, so I concluded there was nothing else the matter with me. I sat and pondered. I thought what an interesting case I must be from a medical point of view, what an acquisition I should be to a class! Students would have no need to "walk the hospitals," if they had me. I was a hospital in myself. All they need do would be to walk round me, and, after that, take their diploma. Then I wondered how long I had to live. I tried to examine myself. I felt my pulse. I could not at first feel any pulse at all. Then, all of a sudden, it seemed to start off. I pulled out my watch and timed it. I made it a hundred and forty-seven to the minute. I tried to feel my heart. I could not feel my heart. It had stopped beating. I have since been induced to come to the opinion that it must have been there all the time, and must have been beating, but I cannot account for it. I patted myself all over my front, from what I call my waist up to my head, and I went a bit round each side, and a little way up the back. But I could not feel or hear anything. I tried to look at my tongue. I stuck it out as far as ever it would go, and I shut one eye, and tried to examine it with the other. I could only see the tip, and the only thing that I could gain from that was to feel more certain than before that I had scarlet fever. I had walked into that reading-room a happy, healthy man. I crawled out a decrepit wreck. I went to my medical man. He is an old chum of mine, and feels my pulse, and looks at my tongue, and talks about the weather, all for nothing, when I fancy I'm ill; so I thought I would do him a good turn by going to him now. "What a doctor wants," I said, "is practice. He shall have me. He will get more practice out of me than out of seventeen hundred of your ordinary, commonplace patients, with only one or two diseases each." So I went straight up and saw him, and he said: "Well, what's the matter with you?"
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I said: "I will not take up your time, dear boy, with telling you what is the matter with me. Life is brief, and you might pass away before I had finished. But I will tell you what is NOT the matter with me. I have not got housemaid's knee. Why I have not got housemaid's knee, I cannot tell you; but the fact remains that I have not got it. Everything else, however, I HAVE got." And I told him how I came to discover it all. Then he opened me and looked down me, and clutched hold of my wrist, and then he hit me over the chest when I wasn't expecting it - a cowardly thing to do, I call it - and immediately afterwards butted me with the side of his head. After that, he sat down and wrote out a prescription, and folded it up and gave it me, and I put it in my pocket and went out. I did not open it. I took it to the nearest chemist's, and handed it in. The man read it, and then handed it back. He said he didn't keep it. I said: "You are a chemist?" He said: "I am a chemist. If I was a co-operative stores and family hotel combined, I might be able to oblige you. Being only a chemist hampers me." I read the prescription. It ran: "1 lb. beefsteak, with 1 pt. bitter beer every 6 hours. 1 ten-mile walk every morning.1 bed at 11 sharp every night.And don't stuff up your head with things you don't understand." I followed the directions, with the happy result - speaking for myself - that my life was preserved, and is still going on.

Essential vocabulary 1. Idle adj. (idler; idlest) a. Not employed or busy: e.g. idle carpenters. b. Avoiding work or employment; lazy: e.g. shiftless, idle youth. c. Not in use or operation: e.g. idle hands. Idle n. 1. A state of idling. Used of a motor vehicle: e.g. An engine running quietly at idle. 2. A mechanism for regulating the speed at which an engine runs at rest: e.g. Set the idle higher to keep the motor from stalling. Idle v. to waste or pass (time) inactively: e.g. He idled the hours away. Syn. useless, vain, pointless, hopeless, unsuccessful, Idm. devil finds work for idle hands to do - Prov. If you do not have useful work to do, you will be tempted to do frivolous or harmful things to get rid of your boredom. E.g. Knowing that the devil finds work for idle hands to do, Elizabeth always made sure that her children had plenty of chores to keep them occupied. to idle something away - Fig. to waste one's time in idleness; to waste a period of time, such as an afternoon, evening, one's life. E.g. She idled the afternoon away and then went to a party. Don't idle away the afternoon. to idle about - to loiter around, doing nothing. E.g. Please don't idle about. Get busy! Andy is idling about today. idle brain is the devil's workshop - Prov. People who have nothing worthwhile to think about will usually think of something bad to do. E.g. We need to figure out something constructive for Tom to do in the afternoons after school. An idle brain is the devil's workshop. Idle people have the least leisure. and Idle folk have the least leisure. - Prov. If you are not energetic and hardworking, you will never have any free time, since you will have to spend all your time finishing your work. E.g. My grandmother always told me not to dawdle, since idle people have the least leisure. be bone idle - to be very lazy. E.g. She's bone idle - she just sits around the house all day watching TV.

2. Sift v. a. To put (flour, for example) through a sieve or other straining device in order to separate the fine from the coarse particles. b. To distinguish as if separating with a sieve: e.g. sifted the candidates for the job. c. To apply by scattering with or as if with a sieve: e.g. sift sugar on a dessert. d. To examine and sort carefully: e.g. sift the evidence. Syn. part, filter, strain, separate, pan Idm. to sift something from something - to remove something from something by sifting. e.g. Fran sifted all the impurities from the flour before using it. Timmy sifted all the leaves from the sand in his sandbox. to sift something out of something and sift something out - to get rid of something in something else by sifting. e.g. Dan sifted the impurities out of the flour. Walter sifted out the foreign matter. to sift something through something - to make something pass through something such as a sieve. E.g. She sifted the powdered sugar through a strainer. Please sift the soil through this screen and watch for bits of pottery. to sift through something - to examine all parts of something. E.g. The fire inspector sifted through the rubble, looking for clues to the start of the fire. We sifted through all the papers in the old trunk, but we did not find what we were looking for. 3. Plod v. a. To move or walk heavily or laboriously; trudge: e.g. "donkeys that plodded wearily in a circle round a gin" (D.H. Lawrence). b. To work or act perseveringly or monotonously; drudge: e.g. plodding through a mountain of paperwork. Plod n. the act of walking with a slow heavy gait; e.g. I could recognize his plod anywhere. Syn. trudge, drag, tread, clump, lumber Idm. to plod along - to move along slowly but deliberately. E.g. I'm just plodding along, but I am getting the job done. The old man plodded along, hardly able to stand. The movie plodded along putting most of the audience to sleep.
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to plod away at something - to keep trying to do something. E.g. He continues to plod away at writing his novel. It's been three years now. How long have you been plodding away at that book? to plod through something - to work one's way through something laboriously. E.g. I just plodded through my work today. I had no energy at all. This is certainly a lot of papers to have to plod through. 4. Seize v. a. To grasp suddenly and forcibly; take or grab: e.g. seize a sword. b. To grasp with the mind; apprehend: e.g. seize an idea and develop it to the fullest extent. c. To possess oneself of (something): e.g. To seize an opportunity. d. To overwhelm physically: e.g. A person who was seized with a terminal disease. e. To take quick and forcible possession of; confiscate: e.g. They seized a cache of illegal drugs. Syn. grab, grip, grasp, take, snatch Idm. to seize upon something - 1. Lit. to grasp something tightly. E.g. Dave seized upon the knob of the door and yanked hard. I seized on the railing and held on tight. 2. Fig. to accept or adopt something, such as a plan, idea, etc. E.g. I heard her ideas and seized upon them immediately. The committee seized on my plan at once. to seize someone or something with something - to grab someone or something with something. E.g. The robot seized Roger with its mechanical claws. The dockworker seized the cable with a long hook. to seize something up - to grab or take something. E.g. The crow seized the freshly hatched chick up and flew away. The huge bird seized up the tiny chick. to seize the opportunity - to take advantage of an opportunity when offered. E.g. My uncle offered me a trip to Europe, so I seized the opportunity. Whenever you have a chance, you should seize the opportunity. to seize the day - to use an opportunity to do something that you want and not to worry about the future, E.g. Seize the day, young man, take the chance. to seize up - to suddenly stop moving or working, E.g. I hit two keys at the same time and my computer just seized up. Her leg seized up and she had to be carried out.
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5. Pat v. a. To tap gently with the open hand or with something flat. b. To run or walk with a tapping sound. c. To hit something or against something gently or lightly. e.g. to pat a ball. Pat. n. a. The sound made by a light stroke or tap or by light footsteps. b. A small mass shaped by or as if by patting: e.g. a pat of butter. Pat adj. Trite or glib; superficially complete or satisfactory: e.g. A pat answer is not going to satisfy an inquisitive audience. Pat adv. Completely, exactly, or perfectly: e.g. They've got the system down pat. He has the lesson pat. Syn. stroke, touch, tap, pet, slap Idm. to pat someone or something on something - to tap someone or something on a particular place with the open hand. E.g. She patted the child on the bottom. I patted the car on its hood to show how proud I was of it. to pat someone on the back and give someone a pat on the back - 1. Lit. to pat someone's back to show praise. E.g. The coach patted each player on the back after the game. 2. Fig. to praise someone for something. The teacher patted all the students on the back for their good work. to pat something down - to tap something down with the open hand. E.g. I heaped some soil over the seeds and patted it down. I patted down the soil. a pat answer - a quick, easy answer; a simplified or evasive answer. E.g. Don't just give them a pat answer. Give some more explanation and justification. a pat on the back - if you give someone a pat on the back, you praise them for something good that they have done (often + for ) E.g. She deserves a pat on the back for keeping things going while you were away. to have something down pat - to learn something so well that you do not have to think about how to do or say it E.g. Bud had his answers down pat, but he knew there could be some questions on the test that he hadn't thought of. to stand pat also to sit pat - to refuse to make any changes E.g. Our advice to investors is, stand pat - the recession will soon be over.
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6. Giddy adj. (giddier, giddiest) a. Having a reeling, lightheaded sensation; dizzy. b. Causing or capable of causing dizziness: a giddy climb to the topmast. c. an exclamation of surprise, e.g. my giddy aunt. Syn. dizzy, reeling, faint, unsteady, light-headed Idm. from giddy-up to whoa - Rur. all the way from the beginning to the end. E.g. The road is paved from giddy-up to whoa. The play stinks. It is dull from giddy-up to whoa. 7. Scourge n. a. A source of widespread dreadful affliction and devastation such as that caused by pestilence or war. b. A means of inflicting severe suffering, vengeance, or punishment. c. a cause of affliction or calamity: e.g. the scourge of famine. Scourge v. a. to whip with a scourge. b. to punish, chastise, or criticize severely. Syn. whip, lash, thong, switch, strap 8. Acute adj. a. Having a sharp point or tip. b. Keenly perceptive or discerning: e.g. "a raw, chilling and psychologically acute novel of human passions reduced to their deadliest essence" c. Reacting readily to stimuli or impressions; sensitive: e.g. His hearing was unusually acute. d. Of great importance or consequence; crucial: e.g. an acute lack of research funds. e. Extremely sharp or severe; intense: e.g. acute pain; acute relief. f. Medicine: 1. Having a rapid onset and following a short but severe course: e.g. acute disease. 2. Afflicted by a disease exhibiting a rapid onset followed by a short, severe course: e.g. acute patients. Syn. sharp, shooting, powerful, violent, severe 9. Grasp v. a. To show eager and prompt willingness or acceptance: e.g. grasps at any opportunity. b. to comprehend; understand: e.g. I don't grasp your meaning. c. to make a motion of seizing: e.g. grasped for the gun. Grasp n. a. The ability or power to seize or attain; reach: e.g. Victory in the election was within her grasp. b. Understanding; comprehension: e.g. "only a vague intuitive grasp of the meaning of greatness in literature" (Gilbert Highet). Syn. grip, hold, catch, grab, seize

Idm. to grasp someone or something by something - to hold onto someone or something by something. E.g. He grasped his friend by the hand and pulled him to safety. Sharon grasped the dog by its collar and held on tight. to grasp at someone or something - to try to seize someone or something. E.g. He grasped at the bar and held on tight. The beggar grasped at the pedestrian and lost his grip. within someone's reach and within someone's grasp - 1. Lit. close enough to be grasped. E.g. The ball was almost within his reach! 2. Fig. almost in the possession of someone. E.g. My goals are almost within my reach, so I know I'll succeed. We almost had the contract within our grasp, but the deal fell through at the last minute. to grasp at straws - 1. to try any method, even those that are not likely to succeed, because you are in such a bad situation (usually in continuous tenses) E.g. He's hoping that this new treatment will help him but I think he's clutching at straws. 2. to try to find reasons to feel hopeful about a situation when there is no real cause for hope (usually in continuous tenses) E.g. She thinks he might still be interested because he calls her now and then but I think she's clutching at straws. to grasp the nettle (British & Australian) - to take action immediately in order to deal with an unpleasant situation (notes: A nettle is a plant which can sting if you touch it.) E.g. I've been putting off tackling the problem for too long and I think it's time to grasp the nettle. 10. Pulse n. a. The rhythmical throbbing of arteries produced by the regular contractions of the heart, especially as palpated at the wrist or in the neck. b. A brief sudden change in a normally constant quantity: e.g. a pulse of current; a pulse of radiation. c. The perceptible emotions or sentiments of a group of people: e.g. "a man who had . . . his finger on the pulse of America" (Thomas P. O'Neill, Jr.) Pulse v. a. to emit particles or radiation periodically in short bursts. b. To pulsate; beat: e.g. "The nation pulsed with music and proclamation, with rages and moral pretensions" (Lance Morrow). Syn. beat, rhythm, vibration, beating, stroke
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Idm. to take the pulse of -To judge the mood or views of (a political electorate, for example): e.g. The politician was able to take the pulse of the grass-r. to keep one's finger on the pulse of something - Fig. to monitor the current state of something frequently. E.g. I have to keep my finger on the pulse of the city if I want to be a good reporter. to have your finger on the pulse - to be familiar with the most recent developments e.g. Whoever designed the new model obviously had their finger on the pulse - it's precisely the sort of computer everyone's been waiting for. your finger on the pulse (of something) - knowledge of what is happening now in a particular area e.g. They've got their finger on the pulse of popular culture in Latvia. to quicken the pulse also quicken somebody's pulse - to cause excitement or interest e.g. There's nothing in this book to quicken the pulse. to pulse through someone or something - to flow or surge through someone or something. E.g. A jolt of electricity pulsed through Sam, causing him to jerk his hand away from the wire. They repaired the power lines and electricity began to pulse through the wires again. to take someone's pulse - to measure the frequency of the beats of a person's pulse. E.g. I can take my own pulse. The nurse took my pulse and said I was fine.

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