Swine

Moan Lisa Published by Mermaid Press at Smashwords Public Domain

How I melt between deep freezes; and let you sink within my mind's ed es in her for otten breath to chan e! to steal and to i nite the deathly watch; "nd while I lay! impermanent not #uite ali$e and not #uite dead %aisin up my fla and hopin sides will swap that I can wear a red shirt for the remainder and that I could hold onto; somethin dear to me! and let o as easily as I'$e corrupted my skin! &ut the penalty for this di$ision; will it far outwei h my life in its remainder! and if we o the e'tra mile; will there be a silhouette shapeless as the fo of sun splittin the eyes' aze (wo li$es! and one ensemble splittin the head in two! fracturin our se#uence and disruptin our ni ht's foothold; "nd as I draw in breath and hold my tears a ainst me! I look at you! and wonder what tomorrow says about our ra$est mistakes and our unmistaken lo$e's affair)

*ur falsified containers trapped with the writin s of a lon dead muse! the courier's entrails deli$ered throu h strin s of incoherent memory "nd in the $acant plot I dry the whale's fat! bless this dis uise that's held me here for so much discord and the accompanyin misfortune +alkin side by side! hand in hand; ne$er re$ealin a sin le truth for your ears! I reenact the pa es' symphony as it was written to do; the swan's chorus and the ca$e,in Powerless! praise for the od that's half,li$in ! half in an era of destructi$e sin; who knows nothin of modernity! and reaches from the dark to touch her $iolent face +e know! what we know is a lie; yet we strike a chord condense our flames! and carry on in our sacred spaces) (ryin to redisco$er throu h youth's dark secrets; where i was we left oursel$es in folly)

+e'll read-ust the sheets to co$er up our filth; and di$e into an unclean mess! where you and I fit fondly in a bo' of scars! dead tissue and a hint of yesterday's bread! .i$en up to the moment of our lon in ! a ainst the rain; a ainst the hard and crusty fibers which now remain; "nd throu h death's shadows! we continue the plot we'$e been i$en! throu h denial and throu h a lack of faith! +ebbed feet! lac#uered hands; our insomnia) /onte'tual redemption in the eyes of .od; a te'tual resurrection throu h cut and paste poetry; and as the seeds fall on us! we'll plant them in our books to sprout new forms and assembla es! mi' and match! chaos not #uite contained by the sur$i$al of a redefined te't)

"n occurrence split in half without the nature of my mind ill at rest! and as for the false propheteerin ! I'$e spun your silhouette throu h the dryer! and the wash; it's come out clean! and e$ery piece of what remains has been a salute to our enclosed fascination with od) Piece by precious piece! we rearran e our thou hts; mine once dead become ali$e throu h this transmutation of the flesh! +hile you in your sinister infatuation with these ods; one hand placed once pressed and issuin forth our dreamtime spasms) I'$e come to hold you close to me! within these dark walls; to feel your breath a ainst me and to feel the beatin at your breast! *ne last time to hold your hand as if it were my own; one body split between fin ers and eyes! /atch me watchin you as I would lock eyes with my own internal clock; feelin my way towards death! and towards what comes after death! the rhyme of humanity as it falls to pieces to be strun up a ain)

In our undyin rest; where the last thou ht comes closer than any dayli ht hour's propa anda; and life! as it is arrested in this slumber keeps the mind tickin in place) It bobs "nd throu h an unwashed silence! where I walk in place with you! there at my ri ht hand; and here at my left! I reco nize the a$alanched state of bein ! this soul rent in disrepair! "nd throu h another step! throu h the i$ory curtain! we make washed our silk owns! and we tra$erse space) It isn't yesterday that milked us dry! it was the blank stare of a thousand sheep; and we are not shepherds! +e are blank replacements without funds! without moti$e; +ettin out lips on the displacement of the sun)

In the moments before our final distribution of wealth; before the curtain call! and our intolerance to death diminishes! I scream out for you; and for the role played between us! *ur li$es intertwined and our methodical passions! counted and mistaken for deeds of the li$in ; 0ou wore your shirt of honey! and I bathed you with a lass of milk! too thick to see throu h; it ran "cross your skin and sunk into the shower's drain while I accumulated your form within my outstretched hands! 1or the pur$eyor's muscles to arouse the deeper parts of pain! and for four years to wrap each other in these crystalline tears! Poison and a fit of ra e; I douse you! and I drown out your screams! but let the tears well) 2ach and e$ery motion of our mind's discourse lea$es me reelin ! it is a facet of your drip! the faucet of your youth laid bare; "nd as I close my eyes to it! and dream; half,rememberin your name! and your beauty! Half reminiscin what was ne$er there; in my purest fantasy)

3nlocked systematic chan e; the kind that would corrupt! but has been made clean throu h a persistent path; I'$e taken e$erythin from you! e'cept your skin! and e$en I'$e a portion to arouse the deeper denizens of the darker realm; Hold hands with me! despite the Satan's rowlin ! and tell me e$ery word that crosses your mind! with one bi erasure! we'll make a word not a word; "nd in the culminatin conception of your process! we'll let beads of sweat flow! we'll wake the dormant sun and let your heart to poundin ! in the dissonant ni ht) 2ach pattern comes clean in the wash; yours and mine! resonatin the sound of "ll Hallow's 2$e; when the moment to arise and cut one's self! lea$in scars; remains a purer form of ecstasy! remains the breakin of our hidden world; "s we are trapped in colla en and foil; wrapped in plastic and hidden beneath the shelf of self,e'posure)

*ne hand; stuck between two boards! unable to be set free! and when the cold wind blows a ainst my back (here I am! unrestful on a dark ni ht) "nd who am I! breathin unconsciously; heart racin because of what I'$e wanted and how it rows apart! "nd there you are; life full of interest and self,worth; at the pinnacle of your deli$ery! "nd I can do nothin but watch; as you lay sideways in your bed! teeth chatterin the $oices of a thousand dead! +hat is it to watch! and how do I keep myself from breathin in desire! when it will come! it will come and there's no occupation to unra$el this mess of blood and synthetic bone; "s if you were some real estate ready for the mind to wander into! and take its place in you; Let the mind wander aimless; let the soul collect) Sour the milk and watch the honey drops collect)

+hile you were fast asleep beside me; within my mind! I fostered another sort of dream's reality; and you were the central focus of my life; e$ery word and e$ery minute action because of you was decided and enacted! Here! on the patterns of our #uilted comfort! reasonin our rhymes and our abandonments! peelin off the superstructure to re$eal *ne false le$el layered upon another; lies and an amal amation with truth; I sink into our bed with you! and di$ide the semblances of ni ht! and call the day as ended; waitin for the sky to chan e a ain) 1rustrated with the way I'$e burned my hands; and the way these words won't carry me to sleep)

1or an hour! I slept beside your body; washin my contained reality within your hands! and if you were awake! I hadn't noticed but I was lost within my dream 4o headin pointed north (wo hours past! and I can't recall the way I felt within your aze) +hile I mo$e myself from shore to the mainland; and into the throes of separation) " spoiled partner! an unsun death of lo$e) +ill there be flowers at my ra$e! when the curtain closes; will there be an e$enin in the moist hypnotic air; where we will sin to the dust and the ashes causin their collection and dispersion "nd as we pass throu h the $eil! where dreams don't press in on us! 4o ni htmares hollow out our footprints! I want to reet you! to redeem your $oice within my walls and take shelter in the hummin of your breath a ainst bare flesh)

In our asylum; here where it is warm! and the bu s don't bite I'$e in$ited your aunt and my charisma to play upon the sheets "ll colorful perimeters; painted typo raphy and scribbled chasm /ut throat! error and the annulment of our forms within the shadow's ri ht! you seal me in and I scream; I seal you in and wait for the howlin ) "nd when the ni ht's end bleeds into the day! I foster your tentati$e sedition buckle us into the $an and flee this ni ht's condition) +e'll wake to the misunderstandin and you'll peel away; ne$er to be seen a ain) Me in my frustration! in my lack of ceremony and of randeur; I'$e left the cobblestone in search of simpler thin s! the li ht on in the attic; and a si n of books bein displayed before the eyes! If only I had si ht to see! if only the death of my distorted lenses had not been carried out throu h the piercin sun's asylum! .aze on; aze into the 1ebruary li hts minds made up between sentences; and only words lie at your door toni ht)

0ears in the makin ; and an hour of play! to traipse myself upon the smooth cur$e and wash the sin ularity of my conception clean! In an issue of blood and semen! carryin out the formulaic schism two parts my unindentured sla$e +here I brin my body! and where you lose yours throu h the crystalline enclosure that is space's hold +hat ha$e we concei$ed throu h our dissociation *ur hours past sentence's phrase; "nd I would hold you here! and sprinkle your flesh with my own breath; let each particle of frost lay down on bare skin +e walk li htly! and melt each other's wounds but for how lon will this last! before our bodies ache; before the clear unpleasant sur$i$alist ame comes into play! and you are cau ht up In the seeds of someone else's surrender son ; Hurryin your own death to the march of their aroused flesh)

Split in facts! phrases endin with the wine; and slurred speech becomes our disenchantin home! "s you come! and as the earth lays you down within her womb! (o rest! once more within the dirt and rock; buried deep enou h that there'll be no escape within these lifetimes to come! e$en as -ust an erosion of mud) /oursin throu h my $eins is the e'citement as death passes o$er us; I can hardly wait and in the interim e'chan in fri htful lances as this pain becomes our new obsession) " ri$er; a rock! and anesthesia) I hurt but there's a wei htlessness comin up a ainst that splits the headache and lessens the ro$e of pinpricks! the ner$es subside in the wash! "nd e$en as I try to reco nize myself in the pool's hypnotic surface! there's nothin left to look at; -ust the sky) In all her diluted particles of li ht)

Lost in the ceilin of our happenstance relationship; ne$er knowin which way is up! the curtain peeled slowly so I may see your eyes; peerin into me) Deep flesh! +ith a drop of your seduction; arms laid bare no skin slides slowly at the wrists,, only fadin memories "nd as if you had made me scared! for this fallin hour; where you and I meet face to face! hand in hand and,, " foreshadow of our lo$e becomes our painted memory Here! we'll wait and watch the distance fade between us as if in third person! lo$e's entan lement and our estran ed desire)

1ortune's place amon the stars; our misfortune's space throu h the depths of the earth; and into the reat beyond! a cluster for our secrets to die in! our mistrust to sink into) Se$eral cate ories of sainthood! and the rest we'$e left for dead) In the streets and on the hi hways; in clusters! broken bones and in the alleyways at the li#uor stores! there where they buy their holy wine; fortune) "nd the callin of our od's stretch of mercy) +hen my bed is laid out for us! and there we write our $erse; in tan ent prose! "nd as this chaos consumes the heart; and as it beats lowly rhythms for your lo$e; (hrou h it all! I seek displacement) Here with you! I ache for our hopeless remedy so neatly placed upon the skin's surface! (o end the troubled dreams I'$e been cau ht into)

(he ones who ne$er read are heard here; 5 he was dead) I make the han ed man dance with me! with cloudy stares; Pyramid ni ht collect!! I brin no books with me; I don't intend to be readin !! 'it's like an artist says! 6I'm oin to draw a strai ht line!6 and he draws somethin that's sort of strai ht) I am a woman and my poems are woman's) My name is /on$enience Store Pick,3p) I make the han ed man write this poem! I lo$e poetry! almost blindly; &ut poetry demands a human $oice to sin it; and an audience to hear! without these it is naked Pure and incomplete,, " bore) "nd I am only a woman by the lamp,, &urnin ) 4o ideas of order; Lo$e)

Dawn durin "u ust! my mother foresaw it all; when she deli$ered me into this world +e are walkin into the abstract! I succumb to all the $isions! and their disappointment but the waters ha$e yet to mi' "nd here is second childhood! 7lon silence8 &y which entle disinter we ha$e a statue of nature) Summer passes; my hand with pen is ashed) Lan ua e of a still life by Picasso! in this intercourse! the plant life is lush) I would want to be in that darkness! madness keeps awake! human sound sacrifice; coupled by paranoia 5 blastin (hirteen years a o! and one step at a time to return)

(here were lefto$er pieces of blank white paper! psyche's task! the sortin of seeds; e$erythin is mo$in chan in ) Lan ua es melt) 1or it is the end i$es meanin to words) 2$erythin is in the poems) I don't belie$e in .od; I don't e$en like rhythm) " prayer on my lips! brid es,, (he flame the confusion the lo$e of whate$er the fuck there was! that reminds me of the time we faced each other and talked about childhood) (hroned wrath! I know your worth; anonymity or selflessness of work! " defacement of the scars I rew for you; 5 the door is locked! and the walls) +ho fell on their knees in the hopeless cathedrals prayin for their sal$ation,, 0*3 D*4'( L*92 M2 LI:2 0*3 3S2D (* 0*3 D*4'( L*92 M2 "40M*%2 &ut callin attention isn't the same thin as an e'planation; o$ertaken by a new form of despair! I ask; 6re's the immortal paper<6 It was rainin outside! sun settin in the windows; Scale 5 Method!! Startled into life like fire) " man and a woman were comin throu h the meadow which was the meadow of the world! She knew more about me than the day of masses; "nd the snow around him had frozen into patterns of wa$y lines! you could hear a baby howlin ! words that come in smoke and o; dyin elm! headless man! winter,,

If on a winter's ni ht! *nly a man or irl who hear a word! these they ha$e the ner$e) (here is no li ht 2ast *f the brid e! (here is no lan ua e but 6reconstructed6 ima es She mo$ed; the moon was of an oran e! it burned (he hollow eyes of shock remain) She says in an artificial 9oice; (he play is one para raph) &ut poetin with poor people doesn't end po$erty) =ust as in nature! a point is a self contained thin ! .od is in a trance; I remember when I wrote His lo$e! Here is a factory made fresh with broken windows; +here con$iction fills the body with the presence of an els "nd demons; where darkness consumes the mind) "nd all manner *f madness) Is there a messa e< " baby's resolute fury; a #uick solo! death ets hyped I spent a ni ht turnin in bed &efore crumblin ! the walls streak with some tan ent of minutes)

Down! old demon> Pinzo! pinzo! pinzo! dynsa) *r the small white cries of lo$e! (he pure products of "merica) Mothers of mud! harpies! dreamless enemies; (o pick up at the turnin ))) (he lucid and sei neurial ai rette! Lau h! which! I1 .*D,&2SID2,HIMS2L1!! 1I"( 42M*> Poet! conser$er of the infinite faces of the li$in ; (he rammar of cause! the cause of rammar Place of bein ) *h the ma nificence of Hell> I am no woman) I am a lau hin streak of scarlet sun in endlessly an'ious hands) "n els are often unable to tell whether they mo$e amon the li$in or the dead! /lapclap) /lipclap) /lappyclap) Indeed if it were not for you! what would I be< +hat is the little I ha$e done! e'cept to arouse you< ?;@@ (he lo$e and life of women) In beauty I walk)

(H2,"&S24/2,I4,I(S2L1,/%2"(2D,&0,.*D "ll writin is arba e; &ehold this compost> &ehold it well> &e for nacre; ha$e death> +hat e$il an el landed at your ate; 0our smile +e ha$e a record of it all; 6*dysseus 6Shalt return throu h spiteful 4eptune! o$er dark seas! 6Lose all companions)6 Let's break down the horrible shell of wisdom! Dawn at its birth dyin out! +hen the woman lies on her back,, poetry; new form dealt with as a reality in itself) (he life of wind! the death of emptiness;; Is neither li ht of church or factory! 2924 I1 S3MM2D 3P 2924 I1 I( 24LI.H(242D!! Here is a ditch of hopelessly dead water! 1loatin with pearls of white foam! "nd here! each ripple; standin under the sun /i arette lips old,, Schono! tschikodam! wik asa! me-da (hrone and altar! a re$olutionary ma'im) 1rom pa e to $erse! "nd the book)

2nd /onscience "nd sorrows In beauty I walk) " naked foot; without books! without writin ) 9ery fine is my $alentine;; " $ery little snail! 292%0(HI4. *1 "40 9"L32 IS (H2"(%I/"L) Her $oice roosts in my memory) (ell me! mother) I li$e in another world; (he soil that fell from between two fin ers! (he in$isible trian le of difference,, (here is only one true thin ! Hollaka hollala! anlo o bun &osso fataka! A AA A "nd we; spectators! always! e$erywhere; we arran e it a ain and perish oursel$es)

" house of cards; stocked shel$es and where we're oin is no mystery! so will you take me there; out of this shadow where I lay in disarray! co$er me with the false pretense of sleep! bury me) "nd in your arms! lie) "s if e$ery wakin moment I'm ali$e had been leadin up to this! a schism of our forms so seduced; the dream time hour made manifest; wholly into you I'm made as molten death! carry me out and into the arden; compost; In the ocean my lo$e! we separate a ain; after and out with me and freeze upon me the for e,furnace is there; and my soul hun erin ymnastic My limbs! my $eins dilate! latent bou hs alone! * son s> 0ou +hoe$er you are! come forth> 2rect heads watchin ! and are one they fade,, +hate$er satisfies souls i$e me your pulses of ra e,, the current son s of loyalty &ut to mount up there I lo$ed felt by the -in lin of loose chan e! how pleasure filter'd! become really blended into one I saw you serenely i$e birth to the youn men! you $ital! uni$ersal! deathless house of maternity! 1or I belie$e in loose deli hts)