April 2014

Buffalo / Niagara
PO Box 617 Buffalo, NY 14207 716-883-0384 info@pflagbuffalo.org www.pflagbuffalo.org www.facebook.com/pflag.niagara
We meet because we have learned that someone very close to us is Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgendered. We try to help one another deal with this information in a positive manner. Although we do not agree at all times, we try to be understanding. We offer help to those who seek it, but do not force ourselves on others. We strive to maintain anonymity while sharing on a level that is comfortable for all of us. We encourage all to attend meetings for their own benefit as well as that of the group. It is our hope that when each of us reaches a point of understanding and acceptance, we realize that this is when others need us the most.

There is no Sharing Meeting in April due to Easter Sunday. However, please note below a special day; tickets are still available if you would like to attend at http://www.buffalobrunch.org. Sunday, April 27th, 2014 12:00- 3:00 PM PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara is being honored by EmbraceWNY At the annual Buffalo Brunch Salvatores Italian Gardens

Though there is no sharing meeting this month, the following information applies: . Please join us as we welcome families and friends to share their personal stories with us.As always, newcomers will be offered the alternative of meeting privately with a PFLAG parent. Kenilworth United Church of Christ is located two blocks west of Niagara Falls Boulevard at the corner of Decatur Rd and Dalton Dr. Decatur runs off of Niagara Falls Boulevard about 0.8 miles south of Sheridan Drive and about 0.8 miles north of Kenmore Ave. Our monthly meetings are in the library, which is near the parking lot entrance. The facility is handicap accessible.

New Parents Meetings are scheduled as needed at a location convenient to

those involved. These self-help one-on-one meetings deal with the concerns of parents and family members who have recently learned that a loved one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender.

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SALLY FIELD WRITES HEARTWARMING LETTER ABOUT GAY SON, BLASTS 'LICENSE TO DISCRIMINATE' LEGISLATION

"Sam is my youngest son, by 18 years, and he's gay. To that, I say: So what?" writes the award-winning actress. "Growing up, Sam wanted desperately to just be like his older brothers athletic, rambunctious and even a little bit macho. He wanted to beat Eli at tennis, trounce Peter at computer football and learn everything about every basketball player on the court. But Sam was different. And his journey to allow himself to be what nature intended him to be was not an easy one." "Finally, at 20, long after he beat his brothers at tennis and computer games and knew as much as anyone about basketball, Sam was able to stand up proudly and say, 'I am a gay man, she continues. "Sam knows that if he ever marries, he'll have my full support. After all, I like to believe I raised him with the good sense to choose a great partner," Field writes. But there are people out there, organizations and politicians, strangers who have never even met Sam who would rather devote themselves to denying his happiness. Why would anyone want to prevent my son or anyone's son or daughter from having basic legal safeguards like family medical leave, Social Security survivors benefits, or health insurance? It doesn't make any sense but it won't change until people speak out. I'm proud to stand with HRC to add my voice. Will you join me?" Field was presented with an Ally Award from the HRC in 2012, and in an interview with Oprah Winfrey later that year she said, Its important to have a parent speak about raising a magnificent, proud, intelligent, funny, lovable, sexy gay son. She added, There are so many parents who are frightened of that and who dont embrace their children as they struggle. Those children are struggling to embrace who they are, who nature what nature intended them to be."

By Jase Peoples The award-winning actress penned a heartfelt letter about her experience as a mother of a gay son and is urging people to stand up against antigay legislation throughout the country.
In an effort to help support the Human Rights Campaigns battle against the various license to discriminate bills that have cropped up around the country, Sally Field has written a heartwarming letter about the struggles of her gay son Sam Greisman.

April 2014
GAY AND GREY LGBT SENIORS STILL FACE STIGMA
By Steven Quinn, CBC News

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Many lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender seniors were part of a generation of trailblazers who changed laws and the way society treats LGBT people.Now, they're embarking on the next stage of life old age and finding that it's got challenges of its own. All this week, CBC Radio One's On The Coast explores their stories in a special series called "Gay and Grey." "I looked around and tried to see if there was already an existing support group that focused specifically on aging for gay men," Herbert said. He couldn't find one. So I thought, alright, I'm just going to have to see if I can start one," he said. Herbert's group has been meeting for several months, and what he's heard so far includes stories about isolation, loneliness, and the terror of depression. And Herbert emphasized the impact HIV and AIDS has had on him and his peers "This cohort of gay men who are in their 60s today, many of their most productive earning years were spent surrounded by people who were dying, or they spent some of that time themselves in a hospital sick. They lost those years." He says many people are afraid of being pushed back into the closet in order to get the care and support they need in the senior years. "I'm aware there is still lots of bigotry. What I advise people is learn to be true to yourself." A diverse community with diverse challenges Brian de Vries, a professor in the gerontology program at San Francisco State University, says the stories Herbert told sound familiar. De Vries, who researches aging in the LGBT community, says gay men are more likely to age alone, without children, and with increasing numbers of disabilities. Elderly lesbians face similar challenges, but with one major difference. "There was some research recently that showed older lesbians had greater success at trying to create communities of care wherein they'd be able to support each other," said de Vries. Brian de Vries also emphasized that transgender seniors go unrecognized and are not supported by much of society. "We find, in our research, much higher rates of depression, of substance abuse, of HIV amongst transgender older adults who struggle in so many ways to find a place in the world that doesn't recognize the way in which they see themselves."

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There's a silver lining. But de Vries sees evidence the situation is improving for the entire LGBT community. He points to facilities that have training for people working with LGBT seniors, and initiatives in many cities to create housing specifically for them. His research has also revealed that some people say being LGBT has helped prepare them for old age. "We've learned to live a life with no one else there. We've learned how to do things for ourselves because we've needed to." de Vries said. "And it's that sort of armour I think with which some approach later life that will ultimately serve them well." He suggests today's LGBT seniors may forge a trail that will improve seniors care for everyone. "The idea of aging alone, or aging without children those are not exclusively LGBT issues, and the more we could break free of the traditional notion of how services are provided, the better we are to offer services in a really person-centered appropriate way."

Call for Board Members

PFLAG Buffalo Niagara is seeking new members for our Board of Directors. If you are passionate about issues impacting the parents, family and friends of the LGBTQ community,are concerned with the well-being of LGBTQ youth, and have the desire to work with driven and creative individuals with similar passions, kindly consider applying for Board membership. Please feel free to contact us via email: info@pflagbuffalo.org, or send us a India's Supreme private Court Upholds Sex Law message Anti-Gay via Facebook: facebook.com/pflag.niagara.

April 2014

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JOHN HUGHES REDUX

How the new teen comedy Date and Switch reinvents the genre in refreshingly new and inclusive ways.
By Steven Carrier

The teen comedy genre has never been one to shy away from contrived story lines, stereotypical characters, misogyny and homophobia. It's the only genre of film that seems to be immune to social criticism, for audiences (mainly teenagers) don't seem to care about how they are represented in cinema. It may be a shallow point of view, but the teen comedies from the late 1990s (like She's All That) to those made throughout the 2000s (like the American Pie franchise), are regarded with cult status by younger viewers who don't look past the nearly disturbing ways their generations are representedonly looking for films that simply entertain them on a basic level (attractive men and women, fairytale love, crude humor, et al). One can argue that the inclusion of these aspects are what makes up the basis of a teen comedy, and without those aspects it cant be labeled as such- and I think thats basically right. This does not mean we can't have films made for teens that aren't infused with a sense of misogyny or blatant homophobia. The legendary filmmaker John Hughes (The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off) certainly understood the balance between teen fantasy and teen reality. His films were about understanding and inclusion- not always about who will get "laid" next. But alas, we live in a time where most of our teen comedies are about sex. Teenagers today are forced to deal with sexuality at a very early age and while we sometimes get a smart comedy on the subject, like say, Easy A, we are also met with atrocious ones, like the Miley Cyrus film LOL. As a film theorist, and being a teenager once myself, I have all but given up on this genre until this years release of Date and Switch. Here is a film that takes the teen movie genre conventions and turns them on their ear. The film's plot may sound like your standard fair, two best guy friends since childhood, unlucky in sex and love, set out on a mission to loose their virginity by prom. But where the film takes a quick, intelligent, and lovely left turn is when Matty (Hunter Cope) tells Michael (Nicholas Braun) that he is in fact a "gay dude." Not wanting to abandon his best friend, or their delirious teenage quest for sex and love, Michael must confront his own preconceptions and reservations about homosexuality and embrace Matty for who his is. It's not an easy road for Michael throughout the film, but it's a very real, honest and most importantly funny one- a depiction of a straight teen opening his mind to accepting something new. Moreover, the film deals with Matty's coming-out and his own quest for love and sex in equally honest and funny ways. The film is extremely enjoyable for it's combination of Judd Apatow's

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millennial, improvised, crude humor and John Hughes' old school style of teenagers banning together to raise one another up- supporting them and including them, differences and all. The supporting cast is also lovely here with fun appearances by Megan Mullally (TVs Will & Grace), Sarah Hyland (TVs Modern Family), Gary Cole (Pineapple Express) and especially Dakota Johnson (star of the upcoming film adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey). Johnson is magnetic here as Matty's ex-girlfriend Em, who is there to both support Matty and explore her romantic feelings towards Michael. Things get messy but these three actors are so open and honest and funny, that exchanges which could come across as stilted, play as truth. Em could have easily been yet another misogynistic teen-movie-girlfriend, but Johnson plays her with grace and integrity. Cope plays Matty not as an obnoxious, unrealistic homosexual (like we see on reality shows like Logos The A-List), but as a self-proclaimed "gay dude"- just a guy trying to find his way in life, which happens to include being attracted to men. And finally, we have Braun's Michael. The story demands a lot of his character and Braun is able to make Michael's joys and frustrations with Matty seem valid and realistic. Date and Switch is teen comedy that takes well-worn teen comedy formula and turns it into something truly joyous and fun. I really felt like I knew these characters and their plight. The film deals with potentially dark issues in a lighthearted way that does not diminish their value or importance. Date and Switch is a game changer for teen comedy, being able to satisfy the humor, romance and fun teens look for in these films but also deliver a truthful and honest story of friendship, acceptance and love at its core. John Hughes would have been proud.
Date and Switch is curently available to rent on Video-On-Demand platforms and will have its DVD and Blu-Ray release, courtesy of Lionsgate, on April 15th. Rated R for strong sexual content including crude dialogue, pervasive language, drug and alcohol use - all involving teens

The Buffalo Gay Men's Chorus presents

Rise Up Singing
Friday, May 16, 2014 at 8:00pm The Riviera Theatre Saturday, May 17, 2014 at 8:00pm Temple Beth Zion Sunday, May 18, 2013 at 3:00pm Unitarian Universalist Church

April 2014
PFLAG BUFFALO/NIAGARA 20132014 Board of Directors President: Kristian Rickard Secretary: Michele A. Perry Treasurer: Brian Carrier Directors: Liz Ball Ann Carrier Julie Christiano John Covert Suzanne Evans Amy Fularz Phil Salemi, Jr. Newsletter Staff Editor& Design:Julie Christiano

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PFLAG JOINS HIGH SCHOOL GSA GROUPS AT 6th ANNUAL WNY CONFERENCE On March 26, twenty-six high school Gay-Straight Alliance groups from local high schools attended the annual local GSA conference, held this year at Lancaster High School. This years event was hosted by both Lancaster and Depew high schools. The after-school event ran from 3:30 until 8:00. GLYS provided buses to the schools that could not provide transportation; much coordination went into planning this afternoon and evening of activities. Over 200 students from over 25 schools attended. PFLAG members presented in a workshop discussion format. Board members Brian and Ann Carrier shared their story with the group of 30 students, who posed many questions and shared their stories as well. The discussion was open and honest. The mission of PFLAG, its past and its possibilties, was brought to a new audience. Thank you Ann and Brian for facilitating the powerful hour. Later, PFLAG, hosted a table at the conference, with books, pamphlets, and beads to share. The Carriers, Kristian Rickard, Phil Salemi, and Amy Fularz were there to tell teens more about PFLAG. With over 200 students in attendance, the tabling and dinner room is always full of energy; this year was no different. What was different this year is that members also passed out applications for the two $500.00 PFLAG scholarships to be given this May to two deserving

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seniors. There was definitely much interest in the scholarship (deadline for applications is April 18th). All in all, the conference was a huge success, and PFLAG had a part in making it a wonderful day.

PFLAG TO BE HONORED AT embraceWNYs 2014 BUFFALO BRUNCH For those of you unfamiliar with embraceWNY and The Buffalo Brunch, we thought we would share a bit about the group and event from the website. Though the group and the brunch have been around for years, not everyone is aware of the group and how it has benefitted the local community. The Board of embraceWNY works hard to fulfill its mission that through education all things are possible. The group raises monies for use in and support of the LGBT community while promoting equality and justice for all Western New Yorkers. Its annual fundraiser, The Buffalo Brunch, is held each spring and honors those Western New Yorkers who have shown strong commitment to the local LGBT community. Groups and individuals are honored yearly, and this year's individuals being honored are Tim Moran and Bryan Ball; PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara is the organizational honoree. EmbraceWNY's goal is to educate and support individuals and local organizations working towards equality for all New York State residents, especially in the LGBT community; developing the leadership potential of young adults from under-represented areas; assisting organizations in promoting a positive and affirming position; and strengthening local groups and organizations that are working towards full acceptance of the LGBT community. This years Buffalo Brunch will be at Salvatore Italian Gardens on April 27th. If you are interested in joining as PFLAG is honored at this event, please contact PFLAG or visit embraceWNY's website.
Please circle item(s) JOIN US!PFLAG BUFFALO/NIAGARA Please join our PFLAG chapter to support our mission at whatever level membership you can: Lifetime Membership .......................... $500 NewRenewalChange of Address BenefactorMembership .................. $250 Sponsoring Membership .. $100 Advertising member(Business Card Advertisement Supporting Membership ....................... $50 $100. Annually for 10 issues) Household Membership . $30 Newsletter Subscription Only.. $15 Please contact me about volunteer opportunities Donations of $50.00 or more can be included in the chapter newsletter. Please circle. OK to publish Do not publish
Your National PFLAG membership is included in your local chapter dues. You will also receive the quarterly PFLAG-Pole Newsletter delivered to your home or by email from the national office. Circle here if you dont want to receive the PFLAG-Pole Newsletter

Make checks payable to PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara and mail to: P.O.Box 617 Buffalo, NY 14207
PFLAG Buffalo/Niagarais a non-profit 501(c)3 and donations are tax-deductible as allowed by law. Please write clearly

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