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C A R O L S O L O M O N, P H. D.

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C A R O L S O L O M O N, P H. D. PERSONALCOACH

http://www.EFTTips.com

Stop Sabotaging Your Weight Loss!


If there is one thing that frustrates me, its self sabotage! Especially when I have worked so hard, done everything right and been at this for what seems like forever! There doesnt seem to be any limit to the ways that we can undo our own progress and with weight loss, its not 2 steps forward and 1 step back, its 2 steps forward and 100 steps back. If you can stop sabotaging your weight loss, you can keep your progress moving forward. The reason for self sabotage The reason for self-sabotage is ambivalence. Part of you wants to change and part of you doesnt want to change, or is getting something out of keeping things the same. This conflict can be completely below your conscious awareness. Thats why its so frustrating when you see yourself behaving incongruently with the goal. When you get to the point where you have to make a decision, a choice about food or exercise, its like having 2 kinds of passengers on the bus, some saying I want to lose weight and others saying I want that chocolate cake And when you have both kinds of passengers talking to you, what do you do? You tend to respond in a manner that satisfies both sets of passengers as best as you can. Sometimes you decide to lose weight because you want to be healthy or look good, or feel more confident (or all of the above!) But you get tired of feeling that ongoing struggle, or you start feeling deprived of having your favorite foods, or you feel deprived when others are indulging (everybody else is having it.) Your current weight is where you compromise between the positive and negative beliefs, where both sets of passengers meet. Its what you settle for when theres an internal conflict. Some people would call this resistance. You know what you (consciously) want, but you are behaving in a way that goes against it.

Carol Solomon, Ph.D. MCC http://www.LoseWeightWithEFT.com

Master Certified Coach http://StressEating.com

There are 2 kinds of resistance 1. fear of what you may have to do to get to the goal or 2. something about being at the end result that is scary or uncomfortable. EFT helps to both uncover the unconscious conflict and decrease resistance, so you dont feel so much pull to undo your progress. Resistance to Tapping Sometimes the biggest resistance we have is to doing the tapping itself, so lets tap on that first. Even though Im resisting tapping when I know it could help me, I love and accept myself anyway. Even though I dont tap as much as I think I should, I deeply love and accept myself. Even though I am resisting what I know is good for me, I love and accept myself. Tap around the points on the body while focusing on not wanting to tap (i.e. do it anyway :-): This resistance Resistance to tapping This resistance Resistance to tapping This resistance Resistance to tapping This resistance Resistance to tapping Find Your Self Sabotaging Beliefs To find your self-sabotaging beliefs, fill in the blanks: I cant lose weight because _________________________ Brainstorm and make a list of all the reasons that come up, even if they sound silly. This is your weight loss story. These are the reasons you are telling yourself why you cant lose weight and the reasons you use to justify going off your plan.

Carol Solomon, Ph.D. MCC http://www.LoseWeightWithEFT.com

Master Certified Coach http://StressEating.com

Tapping Your Self Sabotaging Beliefs Whatever reasons you uncover, put them into the setup statement. Even though I feel stuck and I feel like I dont care anymore, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I dont believe its possible, I have failed so many times, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I dont feel like I am strong enough, I choose to feel peacefully in control around food. Even though I dont have enough willpower, I accept myself and how I feel. Even though it wont do any good . . . I love and accept myself and I choose to move forward anyway. Even though I dont believe its possible for me (other people can do it, but I cant), I love and accept myself. More possibilities Even though I believe that I cant lose weight because Im too old, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I believe its too late for me, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I believe that I have too much weight to lose, I accept myself and where I am in this process. Even though I dont have the motivation to lose weight, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I dont have the discipline, I accept myself anyway. Even though I am obsessed with food, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I cant stop eating my favorite foods, I love myself anyway. Even though I cant imagine myself as thin, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I dont believe that I will ever be thin, I choose to question this belief. Even though I dont believe it is possible for me, Im open to all possibilities now.

Carol Solomon, Ph.D. MCC http://www.LoseWeightWithEFT.com

Master Certified Coach http://StressEating.com

Tap around the body while focusing on these issues Its not even possible Its not possible for me Not strong enough Not enough willpower Ive failed too many times I can never stick to anything I cant imagine myself thin Im obsessed with food Etc. Whatever your beliefs are, even if they dont make sense, tap on them anyway. Here are 3 common self-sabotaging beliefs. Even though I believe Ill be right back in the same cycle again, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I believe Ill feel deprived if I cant have my favorite foods, I deeply love and forgive myself. Even though I wont be happy unless I can eat what I want when I want it, I deeply and completely accept myself. Discover your emotional blocks Thoughts trigger emotions and these emotions can sabotage your success. To discover your emotional blocks, do these 3 quick visualization exercises: 1. Imagine yourself at your ideal weight. Is there anything uncomfortable about that? 2. Imagine what you have to do to get to that weight what feelings are evoked? 3. Now, imagine what you have to do to maintain that weight what feelings are evoked? Most people have both the fear of failure AND the fear of success. One of my clients said to me if Im even starting to feel a little bit successful, I throw in another bagel. These are the folks that dont feel comfortable when they get to the goal they dont like the attention. Some people will say, I start eating as soon as I get the first compliment. If you have a fear of gaining the weight back after you lose it, (and who doesnt? Weve all been on this roller coaster!) Or a fear of unwanted attention, even on a subconscious level, it can interfere with your efforts to stick to a plan. Carol Solomon, Ph.D. MCC http://www.LoseWeightWithEFT.com 4 Master Certified Coach http://StressEating.com

One BIG fear that you may even be afraid to address is the fear of never getting over the problem. Tap on that directly: Even though Im afraid I may never get over this problem, I deeply love and forgive myself anyway. Even if I never make this work for me, I deeply and completely accept myself. Tapping on these issues and any other fears that surface while you are going through this process will help to resolve the underlying issues that can sabotage your results. Take some time to imagine your fears sit quietly and let them come to the surface. Be very aware after you do a round of tapping what comes into your mind next. Tap on every different fear that comes up. Now craft your EFT statements for each fear using this frame: Even though Im afraid ________________ I accept myself and how I feel, and I am working on this now. Stopping Self Sabotage in the Moment Self sabotaging behavior starts with a fear that you may or may not be conscious of. For instance, suppose you are afraid that youll never be able to lose weight or you are afraid that it wont last. In your mind, you can turn that into a belief Ill never be able to lose weight it wont last, etc. Then you start believing your own fears. A belief is just a thought that youve decided is true if its a strong belief, then you have emotion around it too. Those beliefs become part of your self-talk, and we know how dangerous that is if you tell yourself it wont last, so why bother? it affects your behavior. If you dont think its possible, then you wont be as committed or as persistent as you may need to be. Think about what you say to yourself after you have decided to eat healthier, or you have decided to avoid sugar, right before you reach for it, or as you are reaching for itin that sabotaging moment. Just 1 wont hurt. Ill just gain it back anywayit doesnt matter. It wont last. Ill start tomorrow.

Carol Solomon, Ph.D. MCC http://www.LoseWeightWithEFT.com

Master Certified Coach http://StressEating.com

Ive already blown it; I might as well keep going. This is the most dangerous self sabotaging statement of all. Having one bite is not a problem, unless that sets up a situation where you cant stop. You want to intervene before you let yourself roll all the way down the hill. Thats called the What the Hell Effect and its something you definitely want to get a handle on if you want to stop sabotaging your weight loss. Mastering the What the Hell Effect Listen for fears showing up in your self talk (you are saying something to yourself in the moment of reaching for the food. What do you say to yourself in moments when you feel tempted to overeat (e.g. Ill just gain it back anyway, it doesnt matter.) This can be an excuse but its also a very important clue as to how your fears and beliefs are influencing your behavior. When you have identified your self-talk in that self-sabotaging moment, simply make a note of it. (You may know what it is already!) You may not be able to stop yourself in the moment if you have a strong self-sabotaging urge going on. You can tap on these fears just put them into the set-up statement. For example - Even though Im afraid that Ill just gain it back anyway, I love and accept myself. Tap on any self sabotaging thoughts or fears you may have uncovered: Even though I am afraid I will gain the weight back anyway, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though Im afraid I will be right back in the cycle again, I deeply love and forgive myself. Even though I am afraid I will just do the same thing again, I choose to know that I can have it be different this time, and I choose to love myself anyway. Now tap on these statements. Even though it feels like Ive already blown it, the truth is that I havent. Even though it feels like Ive already blown it, I choose not to make it any worse. Even though it feels like Ive already blown it, I hate starting over! Even though it feels like Ive already blown it, I choose not to add to my misery! Even though it feels like Ive already blown it, I choose to be proud of myself for how I respond now.

Carol Solomon, Ph.D. MCC http://www.LoseWeightWithEFT.com

Master Certified Coach http://StressEating.com

Why does this happen? When you set a goal, it can trigger resistance and fear. These fears pop up when you make changes that require going outside of your comfort zone. That is going to stir up the emotional blocks, the fears, the what ifs, the obstacles or perceived obstacles it will trigger the blocks which actually is a GOOD thing, because then you can work on them. Why do they pop up? Because you start thinking about what you have to do to get there, or you start thinking about how you lost weight and gained it back last time . . . or you start thinking about what it would really mean to get there . . . or you just dont believe it and you just start to doubt yourself its usually some version of Im not enough . . . Im not smart enough or I dont have enough discipline, etc. If you arent sure if you can get there, especially if you have failed before, which is common in weight loss, then its easy to sabotage yourself. We have this little Gremlin inside our heads. Its your version of the inner critic. Healing the Not Good Enough Gremlin Deepak Chopra wrote we have 14, 000 thought per day. If we have 14K thoughts per day, how many of those thoughts are Gremlin thoughts? How many of those thoughts are the same thoughts you had yesterday? The Gremlin is running our livesthat internal voice that is constantly yakking awayis keeping you from having what you want. If we sleep 8 hours, thats 875 thoughts per hour, 15 thoughts per minute, 1 thought every 4 seconds. What percentage of those thoughts are Gremlin thoughts? Understand this We all have these thoughts! If you tap on them as part of a regular practice, you will decrease the not enough feeling and increase self acceptance, self love, and the willingness to move forward. Even though it feels like its not enough, I love and accept myself completely. Even though it feels like Im not enough, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though it feels like Ill never be enough, I love myself anyway, and I release myself from this need to be perfect. Even though I dont feel good enough, I choose to know that I am loved just for who I am. Carol Solomon, Ph.D. MCC http://www.LoseWeightWithEFT.com 7 Master Certified Coach http://StressEating.com

Tap around the points on the body: Not enough This not enough feeling Not enough This not enough feeling Not enough This not enough feeling Not enough This not enough feeling The Perfect Storm of Self Sabotage Fears are sometimes experienced as strong beliefs. It starts out as a fear and then you come to believe your own fears. Or the belief is reinforced from past behavior and patterns. For example, if you have gained and lost weight a lot of times, you come to believe that it will happen again. That can become a pretty powerful belief system. There are 3 primary saboteurs: Its not safe. Its not possible (or its not possible for me). I dont deserve it. This makes up the perfect storm of self sabotage. You can rationalize (i.e. tell rational lies) to make it sound really true. But thats just how sneaky that little trickster inside our head is. If you experience these beliefs, you can tap on them as well. Even though it doesnt feel safeI love and accept myself anyway. Even though it feels impossibleI deeply and completely accept myself. Even though it feels impossible for meI choose to know that it is possible. Even though I think I dont deserve to have that kind of successI accept myself anyway. Deserving is a bothersome word. Its irrelevant, really. Energetically, we get what we feel deserving of having. And yet, everyone deserves to have a great life, deserves to be healthy, etc.

Carol Solomon, Ph.D. MCC http://www.LoseWeightWithEFT.com

Master Certified Coach http://StressEating.com

Sometimes limiting beliefs involve something you have come to believe about yourself (Identity belief I am too ___________or I am not __________ enough). Theres that enough word again. That tells you that your Gremlin is at work, operating in your head. Secondary saboteurs to watch out for: Impatience and Frustration EFT can also be used to manage the impatience and frustration that accompanies any attempt to lose weight. You can be doing everything right and still not see the results on the scale right away. Frustrating plateaus and just having to wait for the scale to change is enough to sabotage your efforts right there. Even though I feel frustrated and impatient, I choose to find a creative way to wait for my results. Even though I am impatient, I choose to see it as a long-term solution. Even though I am not losing weight as quickly as I want, I choose to know that I am doing the right things and that I will succeed in the long run. Discouragement Lets face it losing weight can be discouraging, even demoralizing at times. You can go through a lot of ups and downs and a lot of trial and error before figuring out what is going to work for you. You can face stubborn plateaus for weeks or months at a time while your metabolism resets. Or you can sabotage yourself by eating just enough to keep your weight the same instead of decreasing. EFT can help you get through these discouraging times and help you stay motivated to hang in there and stick with your program. Even though I feel discouraged, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though it is demoralizing to be in this process again, I choose to stay calm and resolute for as long as it takes. Heres the bottom line: Relapsing is a normal part of the change process. It just has to be dealt with. Stop beating yourself up and set realistic goals (somewhat less than perfect :-) You have an amazing tool in EFT to help you succeed!

Carol Solomon, Ph.D. MCC http://www.LoseWeightWithEFT.com

Master Certified Coach http://StressEating.com

Thank you for reading this report! I wish you much success! If you need more assistance, I offer books, CDs, personal coaching and teleclasses. Individual or group coaching can help you to focus and amp up your results. Many blessings, ehugs, Carol Carol Solomon, Ph.D. MCC Master Certified Coach http://www.EFTtips.com How To Stop Food Cravings And Lose Weight With EFT http://www.LoseWeightWithEFT.com EFT Weight Loss CD http://www.EFTCDS.com

Carol Solomon, Ph.D. MCC http://www.LoseWeightWithEFT.com

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Master Certified Coach http://StressEating.com