In Realm Of Scandals, Rell’s Situation Doesn’t Make ‘Gate’ Grade
Jim Shea Humor
October 18, 2009
I’m not feeling it for Rellgate.
In fact, I’m not even sure it rates a gate
at this point.
In a nutshell, UConn professor
Kenneth Dautrich got a $223,406, no-
bid contract from Gov. M. Jodi Rell’s
budget office to study streamlining state
government — but his work may also
have included partisan political advice,
a no-no.
What’s keeping this slow-brewing story
from official gatehood isn’t wrongdoing,
though there seems to be that.
Nor does there seem to be a lack of
story changing and covering up, a key,
if not the key, ingredient in all gate-
level scandals.
What is missing is here is pizazz,
sexiness, a touch of icky.
Look at the recent gates involving
governors:
You have South Carolina’s Mark
Sanford sneaking off to Argentina to
see his “soul mate.”
You have former New York Governor
Eliot Spitzer engaging in sex with a
prostitute while (reportedly) wearing his
socks.
You have former New Jersey Governor
Jim McGreevey leaving his wife for
another man.
You have former Illinois Governor, Rod
Blagojevich, the King of Rock and Roll
hair, dealing and no dealing like Howie
Mandel.
And, of course, you have our very own
John Rowland, a governor who never
met a cottage improvement he didn’t
accept, or know anything about.
In comparison, what we now know so
far about the Rell-Dautrich affair is
kind of, well, dry.
That said, you put Rell, the professor,
and maybe gubernatorial consigliere M.
Lisa Moody together in a donated hot
tub, and we’d definitely be talking gate.
Et tu Lieberman?
Say It Ain’t So. Joe Lieberman is now
telling people the Democrats should
not take his vote for granted when it
comes to health care reform. Gee, why
would the Democrats be counting on
Say-It-Ain’t-So’s support for the piece of
legislation that may very well make of
break President Obama’s presidency?
I mean, it’s not as if Obama was
instrumental in getting Democrats in
the House of Lords to forgive Say-
It-Ain’t-So for playing nice with the
wingnuts, supporting John McCain in
2008, and bad mouthing the party’s
presidential candidate at the Republican
convention.
And certainly, Obama’s intervention
had little impact with Say-It-Ain’t-So
retaining his prized chairmanship of the
Homeland Security and Governmental
Affairs Committee.
Say It Ain’t So has the memory of a guy
who owes you money.
Speaking Of Health Care Reform
A group health insurance company
in Colorado refused to cover a baby
because they felt the four-month old
was too fat, something they determined
to be a pre-existing condition. After a
ration of bad press, they reconsidered.
What’s next, no coverage for ugly
babies? Criers? Poopers?
In Other Stupid Adult Tricks
A Delaware school system suspended,
and has since reinstated, a first grader
who brought his cub scout knife-fork-
spoon utensil to school to eat lunch
with. Why? They have a zero tolerance
for weapons. Good thing he didn’t bring
a Swiss Army Knife, he’d probably be
in Guantanamo now.
I’m Just Saying ... Convicted swindler
extraordinaire Bernie Madoff got into
a prison scuffle with another senior-
citizen inmate and pushed him down.
What was the spat over: Cigarettes?
Sex? Respect? Hardly. The argument
was apparently over the stock market.
No shanks were involved, and the
two reportedly made up the next day
... My new favorite political word,
wingloonian ... A House panel has
voted to regulate derivatives. Now if I
just understood what a derivative is ...
Another thing I don’t understand is why
the NFL would be against a universally
beloved figure like Rush Limbaugh
owning a team? ... The stock market
hit 10,000 this week. Question: Does
the stock market have anything to do
with the economy? ... The Republican
National Committee launched its much
ballyhooed new website last week.
However, when you clicked on the
“Future GOP leaders” page, you got
a “404 Error: This page could not be
found.” ... Heard a report that Florida
now leads the nation in government
corruption. Where did we go right?
• Contact Jim Shea at shea@courant.
com, and read his other columns on
Wednesday and Saturday in CTLiving.
Copyright © 2009, The Hartford Courant