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2 Vol.

XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008

news
Even The Main Stacks Need Paper Stacks
SUNY schools to purchase the same
By Sarah Asselta monograph. Interlibrary loans enable
the sharing within the system, cutting
back unnecessary spending. “When
As the world’s information becomes you don’t have much money, you are
digitalized, libraries are struggling to very particular,” says Filstrup.
make purchasing decisions between With such a small print book
new and old mediums. Stony Brook’s budget, priority of purchases is going
Melville Library has been operating on only to support the courses and the cur-
a shrinking print book allowance, as the riculum. If a professor will be teaching
shuffling of money through a stagnant the material, the library acquires it.
budget has given priority to subscrip- Susan Lieberthal, the Business and In-
tion-based electronic resources. terlibrary Loan librarian, says the peo-
It is partly due to Stony Brook’s em- ple that are suffering the most due to
phasis on the sciences, which depends the stagnant monograph collection are
heavily on pricey, searchable journals the researchers in the Humanities, who
rather than monographs, or scholarly rely heavily on dated, often obscure ma-
print texts. “Our journal collection is terial. “If you’re studying in the history
heavily digital already,” says Nathan department, and your thesis is on
Baum, Assistant Director of Electronic ‘women’s novels in 18th century Amer-
Resources. “There is this conception ica,’ you’re going to need a lot of books,”
that these things are free, because it’s on
Laura Paesano
says Lieberthal.
the web and the web is free,” he says. Libraries are strange animals. “The
“But we pay a lot of money for these re- provost views us as black holes, because
sources.” we require so much money but don’t
Electronic databases, such as Sci- brary’s format collection. Publishers tronic resources has been a complicated
typically sell resources in packages; an issue for years, says Aimee DeCham- generate any revenue,” says Lieberthal.
enceDirect, JSTOR and LexisNexis, However, an extensive research library
tend to lock in purchases with a three- electronic edition, a print edition, and beau, e-Resources Librarian. But as e-
other possible accessories such as CD’s journals, e-books and online databases tends to mirror the credentials of an ac-
to-five year contract, eliminating the ademic institute.
ability to negotiate subscriptions with and DVD’s. Electronic editions get pri- rapidly expand, book shelves could get
ority, says the library administration. It lonely. “It’s not a temporary shift,” she This is where a library’s priorities
respect to budget variances from year to may be shifting. In the past, a library’s
year. In addition, a relatively unchanged becomes easier to handle, archive, says, “It’s here to stay.”
search and print. When asked whether Subject specialists advise the library collection value was often measured by
library budget in the past decade actu- hefty card catalogs. Nowadays, a qual-
ally depletes the spending allowance this is better for the library system, administration in purchases, making
Chris Filstrup, Dean of the Libraries, the acquired list a collaborative effort ity resource collection may be redefin-
due to inflation. Inflation reduces the ing itself in light of diverging formats,
purchasing power of print books ac- says that this is the future. “Our job is to between faculty, academics, librarians
give people information whatever the and a Library Senate Committee that as long as funds grow to compensate for
cording to the consumer price index, the increasing costs and conveniences
typically two-to-four percent annually. format is, whether it’s using LexisNexis ensures the money is used efficiently.
or digging through the Stacks.” Close collaboration with other state of all things digital.
And the inflation rate for journals is ac- The next step for the library is the
tually much higher, 10% each year. Balancing between print and elec- schools allow for no more than two
accumulation of WorldCat, a non-
The Library’s material budget for profit, member-regulated network of 50
the 2007-2008 school year was million library records and growing. It
$6,988,988. Five years prior, during the allows students to locate books nation-
2001-2002 year, it was working with wide, send out an interlibrary request,
$6,776,222, and five years before that, and receive it within two-to-four days.
the working budget was $5,358,522. “I’m not saying it’s the same thing as
As the library becomes increasingly going to the stacks and browsing, I un-
locked into set electronic subscription derstand that,” says Filstrup, “These
costs, coupled with inflation rates, the days of huge print collections—brows-
remaining allowance reserved for pur- ing and serendipity—they’re gone.”
chasing print resources has been As for the budget dilemma, library
shrinking every year. Some librarians administrators remain somewhere be-
say that this creates gaps in the print tween optimistic and realistic. “There
collection, as some newer editions can- are a lot of things that I wish we could
not afford to be purchased.“Students as- buy, but you have to live within the
sume that an accredited research budget situation.” The library received
institution is supplying them with an a modest victory this year, receiving a
adequate collection of print books,” says $100,000 increase in “tech fees,” grow-
Richard Feinberg, Head Preservation ing the printed book budget from
Librarian. “A sufficient collection would $300,000 from last year to $400,000 this
allow a student to go to the stacks, year.
browse the shelves, and stumble across “The budget will always be an
material they never expected to, enrich- Caitlin Ferrell issue,” says Filstrup. “I think we’re man-
ing their research.” aging our money well.”
The tight budget is shaping the li-
The Stony Brook Press 3

SSK’s Final Convocation:


Recounting of Past Accomplishments Does Little to
Assuage Fears of Budget Crises
the budget, Stony Brook is responsible
By Najib Aminy for a return of $4.7 billion in the eco-
nomic activity of Long Island. “And be-
sides that, we are educating the next
In her final convocation as Presi- generation of scientists and business
dent, Shirley Strum Kenny addressed a leaders,” added Kenny.
packed audience of Stony Brook faculty In terms of academia, Kenny
and students alike, highlighting mo- boasted statistics of an increasing fresh-
ments of her fourteen-year term. Em- man class alongside a positive correla-
phasizing the importance of Stony tion of increased SAT scores. Along side
Brook University to New York State, the growing freshman class, Stony
President Kenny dedicated a significant Brook’s number of applicants has dou-
amount of her speech lamenting the bled since Kenny’s inception as Presi-
budget cuts threatening both Stony dent in 1994; jumping up 103%, making
Brook and the SUNY budget. Stony Brook the SUNY school with the
Stony Brook has already sustained highest number of applicants. “Only 37
a $7.4 million loss as part of the $50 four-year institutions in the country
million cut from the SUNY budget and had more applications than Stony
is anticipating another $5.5 million cut. Brook; we had more applications than
Kenny said the problem that Stony Stanford, Harvard, or Yale among oth-
Brook and other SUNY and CUNY ers,” said Kenny.
Universities face is not a “temporary The most important event, as
Andrew Fraley
Shirley prepares to “let us down gently” so to speak.
discomfort,” but a need to state the im- Kenny described in her fourteen years,
portance of such institutions. “They are was Stony Brook’s admittance to the As-
not mere social gestures; they are not sociation of American Universities in
safety nets; they are economic and so- inception alongside Texas A&M in is speculated to increase sharply after
2001, a prestigious organization formed
cial bedrock. They are our hope for the 2001, no other university has been ad- the November election. In talks of the
in 1900 to “declare the equality of top
future, our guarantee against losing our mitted. cuts, Kenny said, “if our present dire sit-
American universities with those in Eu-
primacy as a State,” said the 73-year-old In touching upon the many Univer- uation is a temporary—one year—prob-
rope and to work together to ensure
Texas native. sity projects she had worked on, such as lem, we can handle it, though
high quality in U.S. graduate degrees,”
Kenny went over the progression the remodeling of the Javits Lecture unquestionably with discomfort, by
according to its mission statement.
and evolution of Stony Brook Univer- Hall, the deconstruction of the Bridge redirecting some of our funding in-
Stony Brook joins the likes of Harvard,
sity to emphasize the importance of tended for equipment services.” How-
Princeton, MIT in addition to the only
why funding is so important. Citing an ever, if the budget dilemma prolongs
one other SUNY school, the University
into the coming years, “we have a very
economic study on the Long Island of Buffalo. “For 44 years our aspiration “...students could wind up different situation,” said Kenny. Believ-
economy, Kenny called Stony Brook had been election to this association of
University the economic engine of Long the the top research universities, public
paying an increased tu- ing in keeping tuition as low as possible
Island. With $1.8 billion invested into ition for the same, if not for students, Kenny is, as she said,
and private, in North America.” Since its
“angry when students end up getting
reduced services...” large tuition increases when the State
decreases support for the university.”
What stifles Kenny more is the fact that
to Nowhere, the renovation of the Aca- students could wind up paying an in-
demic Mall, and the building up of a Di- creased tuition for the same, if not re-
vision-I athletic program, President duced services that is currently
Kenny mentioned how student tuition provided, due to the budget cuts.
at Stony Brook has increased only once In closing her final State of the Uni-
in the past thirteen years, the last of versity address, President Kenny said
which was in 2003. Throughout that the educational institutions of America,
time, the undergraduate student popu- especially in New York, are facing trou-
lation increased 40% from 17,200 to bling challenges and added that finan-
24,000. With the increase of students cial support of public higher education
came the increase of faculty and staff must be stressed to every local politi-
which rose 24% in the same period, ul- cian. “What we do here is vitally impor-
timately from 11,200 to 13,900 paid tant. Those we teach here are the
professionals. “Clearly we need funding nation’s hope for tomorrow. The re-
appropriate to our research mission— search we do is key to health and pros-
more money per student, not less,” said perity in the future. But we must have
Kenny. the funding necessary to achieve our
With the strong possibility of a net mission,” said Kenny closing off her
Najib Aminy
$13 million cut in the Stony Brook speech to a thunderous applause and
Everyone was all smiles at the after-party. budget, changes will inevitably occur to standing ovation.
make up for the loss of money. Tuition
4 Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Editorial Board
Executive Editor
editorials
James Laudano
Tall n blond w da legzz
Emma Kobolakis
MASKED MENACES TERRORIZE
Associate Editor
Najib Aminy
Business Manager
CAMPUS!
Katie Knowlton Misguided Vigilante “Justice.” A shameful faces behind cheap Hal- the ranks of these “super heroes,” get-
Production Manager Security Threat: loween masks, achieving total ting himself bit in the Chemistry
Inquire Within anonymity. They could be anyone – tower, or throwing himself at some-
Stony Brook is more than just a your roommate, your TA, or that un- thing he’s unsure of on the fifth floor
News Editors school. For many, it is also a home.
Laura Cooper washed townie you buy your pot from. of physics. The Scarlet Seawolf ’s risky
Jake Conarck And every American has a God-given The chill that has descended upon our brand of vigilante “justice” only de-
right to be safe in his own home. That population isn’t just the first winds of tracts from the true heroism of people
Features Editor
Alex Nagler right is in danger as we speak, dear autumn, it’s the loss of faith in one an- like my son, US astronaut John Jame-
readers! The vile blight of crime has other, and the shattering of a bond be- son, and Doug Little, that paragon of
Arts Editor descended upon our beloved campus.
Andrew Fraley tween us all. Who can you trust? law enforcement who’s warned us
Masked bandits who dare not show I’ll tell you who you can’t trust – about “the bad guys” for so many
Photo Editors their faces wander our roads, trails, the Scarlet Seawolf! That reckless vigi- years.
Tia Mansouri and multi-colored paths under the
Roman Sheydvasser lante is every bit as crooked as the Make no mistake; the Scarlet Sea-
cover of darkness! Campus Cadaver Crew he claims to be wolf is no hero. He’s in cahoots with
Copy Editors On September 18, at approxi-
Cindy Liu tracking down. If the Scarlet Seawolf is those thieves, and this fine paper will
Chris Mellides mately 11:40pm, an innocent civilian really on our side, why won’t he show give top billing to any photographer
Kelly Yu was accosted by three hooligans us his face? who can prove it. Catch him revealing
Webmaster
dressed as skeletons while he walked Not only is he hiding something, his true nature, and we’ll put you on
Chris Williams along the pathway between the Com- he’s also setting a dangerous example. the cover! I don’t care if he’s littering or
puting Center and Circle Road. This In no time, we’ll have all kinds of throwing President Kenny under a
Audiomaster
Inquire Within upright young man was robbed of his masks and capes running around, en- bus, as long as he’s breaking a law. Get
possessions, but the greater loss was dangering our safety and their own me one incriminating picture of this
Ombudsman what was taken from all of us that
Jowy Romano with no accountability. No self-re- Scarlet Seawolf! No, make it five. Ten.
night – peace of mind. specting “Stony Brooker” should sup- One hundred! We need photos,
These costumed cowards hid their port any fellow student trying to join dammit!

Minister of Archives
Jesse Schopefer Hello, and welcome to this issue’s entry in the “SSK Fourteen Years, Fourteen Moments” Countdown!
Last issue we opened the coundown with moment number fourteen, e SSK Arts Festival Fiasco of Spring
Layout Design by
2008. For this issue’s moment -- number thirteen on the list -- we are going to stay in the Spring 2008 semester and re-
Jowy Romano live the Touro Law School mixup. We promise to go further back in time for our next issue’s entry, so don’t worry.

Staff
Please enjoy this entry, and without further ado...

Kotei Aoki
Habib Aminy
Rebecca Kleinhaut
Iris Lin
The Touro Law Deal Dies Before It Even Begins
Ross Barkan Frank Loiaccono
Raina Bedford Mariana Martins President Kenny has always a very quisition attempt was just one of sev- school anytime in the forseeable fu-
Matt Braunstein Justin Meltzer
Tony Cai Leeza Menon ambitious president. Included in her eral bizarre projects seen last year (an- ture.
Canteloupe Chris Mellides
J.C. Chan James Messina list of accomplishments are the ex- other was determining the feasibility This year, with the grave budget
Doug Cion Steve McLinden
Caroline D’Agati Chris Oliveri pansion of Stony Brook to include a of building a monorail on campus). crisis threatening the basic operations
Joe Donato Ben van Overmeire Manhattan campus and the brutal However, before any of this was even of the school, Shirley has had to put
Nick Eaton Grace Pak
Michael Felder Rob Pearsall (kind of) acquisition of Southampton officially announced, Shirley declared her ambitions on hold. She must focus
Vincent Michael Festa Andrew Pernick
Joe Filippazzo Jon Pu College. Her imperialism is never the deal “dead.” Touro was not for sale, her now limited capital budget to one
Amelia Fischer Aamer Qureshi quite sated, however, and last year she even to someone of President Kenny’s capital project. So, as she is wont to
Jamie Freiermuth Nirmala Ramsaran
Ilyssa Fuchs Kristine Renigen made yet another attempt. This time gravitas. The whole thing really blew declare, she will focus on what is most
Rob Gilheany Berta Rezik
David Knockout Ginn Dave Robin with Touro Law School in Central up in her face with extensive coverage important: our school’s academics.
Joanna Goodman Joe Safdia
Stephanie Hayes Natalie Schultz
Islip. As a part of the capital budget, in all the local Long Island media out- And she’ll do this by building a new
Marta Gyvel Scott Silsbe which is a separate budget for new lets. Stony Brook is now left without recreational center
Mo Ibrahim Rose Slupski
Andrew Jacob Amberly Timperio construction and expansion, this ac- any plans to built or acquire a law
Elizabeth Kaplan Lena Tumasyan
Alexander Kahn Marcel Votlucka
Olga Kaplun Alex Walsh
Jack Katsman Brian Wasser
Liz Kaufman Matt Willemain

The Stony Brook Press is published fortnightly during


the academic year and twice during summer session
by The Stony Brook Press, a student run non-profit or-
ganization funded by the Student Activity Fee. The opin-
ions expressed in letters, articles and viewpoints do not
necessarily reflect those of The Stony Brook Press as a
whole. Advertising policy does not necessarily reflect
editorial policy. For more information on advertising and
deadlines call (631)632-6451. Staff meetings are held
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Email: sbpressnews@gmail.com
The Stony Brook Press 5
E-mail your letters to sbpressnews@gmail.com

John Derbyshire Comes To SBU!


“cons”—from neo-cons to theo-cons to vatism,” and laid it as a pagan sacrifice stroying the American social
By Natalie Cronsija bio-cons—and now, as The Patriot’s to save the country from death. Wall fabric. Thank you, Stony Brook Cultural
Alaxander Chamessian said, “I don’t Street is, as the prophets foretold, the Associations! You’re breaking America!
know what it exactly means to be con- new Sodom with sulfur clouds on the Derbyshire does believe that most
The Patriot, Stony Brook Univer- servative.” John Derbyshire’s incarna- way. The government’s big, meaty paws Americans view the Iraq War as a mis-
sity’s conservative publication, hosted a tion of conservatism, the type that have never left the American purse take. He learned the hard way that the
lecture given by right-wing, British- apparently lies somewhere between sed- (rather pocket, ‘cause “purse” might be British, imperialist “blow up the Sultan’s
born author and blogger John Der- palace” approach does not pan out as
byshire on September 25 to elucidate well as it did in the days of Lawrence of
the true nature of American Conser- Arabia, old boy. This basic foreign pol-
vatism. His nationality aside, Der- icy, which “doesn’t take Muslims seri-
byshire is a “true” American ously,” is encouraging a worldview that
conservative and apart from his proud brushes off Russia as a place that
homophobia and racism, he is “mild Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin “can see
and tolerant” in his bigotry. His claim from her house.”
to “see humanity plain” umbrellas his “I need to leave…now…” said a stu-
belief that homophobia and racism are dent who identified herself as a “gay,
“core to humanity” in the tribal/hunter- hippie liberal” as the lecture ended. She
gatherer sense of what it is to be human. had come to the lecture with two
It is this “plain” view, this primal, friends who identified themselves as
“Quest for Fire” mentality that was ap- moderate Republicans and expressed
plied to each issue addressed. The pre- concern that The Patriot, would have
What a charming looking chap!
Neolithic conservatism of keeping all such an “extremist” speak to students so
the nuts and berries in one pile without close to an election of “change.” Of
anyone putting their dirty, foreign imentary layers of rock, is the first and too gay). Another part of the problem is change, Mr. Derbyshire was not sup-
hands on them is, essentially, the con- most American of them all. the illegal immigrant population, which portive, for how can humans change
servative economic policy from the The economy was the bleed-Amer- only takes and takes and never gives fundamental human nature, or at least
dawn of time, and has since been lost to ican soft spot Mr. Derbyshire began to back (and of whom Mr. Derbyshire was resurrect Calvin Coolidge’s petrified
a world where even cavemen have car analyze first. The prevailing economic a member from the early 1970s until corpse to save the day? “Liberals, they
insurance. apocalypse echoes of the ancient death 2002). America is an “assimilationist” pretend [these fundamental prejudices]
This olde type of conservatism or, of Coolidge conservatism in the 1930’s, country according to Derbyshire, who don’t exist, and I don’t like them.”
paleo-con, is rather infrequent now as when FDR took his big gun, took aim cites diversity and the public “cherish-
the Republican party fluxes between and shot the “last dodo bird of conser- ing of identity” as the chief force de-
6 Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The Amazing SpiderShirl: Richard Nasti


and the Scholary Six
M.Phil. (1974) and Ph.D.(1977) in Ge- David L. Ferguson versity of California, Berkeley, and the
By Alex Nagler ology and Geophysics from Yale Uni- University of Southern California, from
versity. He rose to the rank of Professor both of which he received awards for
of Geophysical Sciences at the Univer- excellence in teaching, before coming to
For those of you who don’t know, sity of Chicago from 1977 - 1986, and Stony Brook as Chair of the Depart-
President Kenny is retiring at the end of subsequently moved to Stony Brook ment of English in 2000. He is a spe-
the year. A committee, headed by alum- University with his wife Josephine Aller, cialist in literature of the British
nus Richard Nasti, has been formed to who is also on the faculty at SBU. Their Romantic period, and has written or ed-
find her replacement. Last week, elec- youngest daughter, Deborah, is a soph- ited several books in the field. He has
tions were held by the faculty to choose omore at Stony Brook. Prof. Aller is a been given the Distinguished Scholar-
six representatives to serve on the com- Fellow of the American Geophysical ship Award of the Keats-Shelley Associ-
mittee. When the ballots were counted, Union, the European Association of ation, and held fellowships from the
the following six professors emerged as Geochemistry, and the Geochemical Guggenheim Foundation and the Na-
the chosen representatives of the faculty Society. He has received honorary doc- tional Endowment for the Humanities.
body to select the person who, Albany torates from Göteborg Université, Swe- David L. Ferguson is Distinguished
Willing, will be the next President of den and the Université de la Service Professor and Chair of the De-
Stony Brook University. These six pro- Méditerranée (Aix-Marseille II), partment of Technology and Society in Gar y J. Marker
fessors constitute a wide variety of cam- France, and was awarded the Division the College of Engineering and Applied
pus departments. Among their ranks of Geochemistry Medal in 2007 by the Sciences at Stony Brook University. Dr. Dr. Gary Marker has been a member of
are a Professor of Marine Biogeochem- American Chemical Ferguson has been director or co-direc- the Stony Brook faculty, in the Depart-
istry, a Nurse Practitioner and Dean of Society. He was a soccer and basketball tor of numerous projects, including ment of History, since 1979. His field of
the School of Nursing, Professor and coach in the Three Village community eight National Science Foundation proj- expertise is Russian history, with a spe-
Chair of the Department of Technology for 10 years, and serves as a director of ects, aimed at improving undergradu- cial emphasis on the early modern pe-
and Society in the College of Engineer- the Stony Brook Environmental Con- ate and graduate education in science, riod. He is the author of many works
ing and Applied Sciences, an English servancy. technology, engineering and mathe- touching upon print culture, gender, re-
Professor, a History Professor, and a matics (STEM). ligion, education, and political author-
Professor of Medicine, Microbiology, He is coordinator for the Math and ity. He is a former chair of History,
Pathology and Pharmacology. Ora J. Bouey Computer Science cluster of Science former Graduate Director, and he cur-
Together, they make up a wide slice Education for New Civic Engagement rently serves on the UUP Executive
of Stony Brook academic life and we Ms. Ora James Bouey is a Nurse Practi- and Responsibility (SENCER), an NSF- Committee as academic grievance offi-
wish them well as they embark on their tioner, Professor and Associate Dean, funded National Dissemination grant. cer for west campus.
quest to find the next President of Stony School of Nursing. Professor Bouey has Professor Ferguson is Director of the
Brook University. Our thanks go out to held two major administrative roles and NSF-funded SUNY LSAMP and SUNY
Richard Nasti for agreeing to work with served as coordinator and/or Director AGEP programs—aimed at increasing Roy T. Steigbigel
us. of different programs on site and inter- the participation of underrepresented
nationally. During her tenure at Stony minority students in STEM. His re- Dr Steigbigel is Professor of Medicine,
Brook University, she has had firsthand search includes quantitative modeling, Microbiology, Pathology and Pharma-
Robert C. Aller experience within inter- professional problem solving, educational technolo- cology at the medical school at Stony
groups and has consistently represented gies, and decision making. His awards Brook. He received his bachelor’s de-
the interests of the students, faculty and include the U. S. Presidential Award for gree from Carleton College and the MD
staff of the HSC. During the ‘80s, Pro- Excellence in Science, Mathematics and degree from the University of
fessor Bouey was the first Chair of the Engineering Mentoring (PAESMEM), Rochester. His subsequent training was
Department of Adult Health Nursing the Archie Lacey Award of the New also at Rochester as well as in the U. S.
which under her tutelage was developed York Academy of Sciences, and the En- Public Health Service and at Stanford
into the largest department in the gineering Educator Award of the Joint University. After 10 years on the faculty
School of Nursing. Committee on Engineering of Long Is- at the University of Rochester he came
Professor Bouey has presented papers land. to Stony Brook in 1983 to found the Di-
and continues to serve on local state, vision of Infectious Diseases and,
national, and international committees, Peter J. Manning shortly thereafter, the AIDS Treatment
advocating for the University at large. In and Research Center. He has been ac-
1980, she received the Chancellor’s tive in research, (with uninterrupted ex-
Award for Excellence in Teaching. Re- ternal funding since arriving at Stony
Robert Aller is a Distinguished Profes- cently, she received the AFT’s Living the Brook) and in multiple aspects of edu-
sor of Marine Biogeochemistry in the Legacy Award for 2008. This award is cation, including the development and
School of Marine and Atmospheric Sci- presented to women who have: Pro- direction of courses. He serves on nu-
ences, with affiliated appointment in vided leadership and demonstrated in- merous national, regional, university-
the Department of Geosciences at Stony terest in issues of women’s rights; wide and medical school committees.
Brook University. He is an expert on maintained multiple decades of in- He is now President of the School of
biogeochemical cycling processes and volvement in local, state and national Medicine Faculty Senate.
animal-sediment interactions in marine affiliates; acted as mentors, coaches &
deposits, particularly tropical deltaic, role models for other women; and been
coastal, and continental margin envi- recognized as a leader in her own com-
ronments. He received a B.S. in Biol- munity. Peter Manning graduated from Harvard
ogy-Geology and a B.A. in Chemistry, Professor Bouey graduated from Stony College and earned his MA and Ph.D in
both with Highest Distinction from the Brook University and New York Uni- English Language and Literature from
University of Rochester in 1972, and a versity. Yale University. He taught at the Uni-
The Stony Brook Press News 7

Where Have You Gone, NYPIRG?


$125,000. was going,” said one USG senator, who plus benefits, while the interns earned
By Jon Singer Articles in past issues of both The Stony requested to remain anonymous. To academic credit. “It’s just a more
Brook Press and The Statesman docu- fight for issues of higher education, broader program than the average club,”
mented NYPIRG activities over the past NYPIRG employs staff members work- says Morrison. This year The Stony
Many Stony Brook students never year. One event, ‘80s Night, involved ing in Albany. “They’re working full Brook Press will publish its newspapers
knew what NYPIRG was. But that does- students dressing up in whatever Teen time on behalf of students right up there with $32,000 in budget allocation, while
n’t matter anymore, because NYPIRG at Wolf would wear to learn about the his- in the capital, because that’s where the the Meteorology Club will predict the
Stony Brook no longer exists. tory of recycling. The March 13 issue of decisions about tuition and financial aid weather with $2,203. While NYPIRG at
For almost thirty years leading up The Statesman reported a crowd of are being made,” says Morrison. “The Stony Brook now has no budget, chap-
to the current fall semester, The New about forty students at ‘80s Night, average student isn’t going to spend fifty ters remain funded and popular at some
York Public Interest Research Group which was co-hosted by the Stony hours a week talking to elected officials New York schools. But the organiza-
had a chapter at Stony Brook, one of Brook Environmental Club. about higher education.” tion’s presence is a source of controversy
twenty-one campus chapters across the In the wake of ‘80s Night and mul- Morrison says that with NYPIRG, at others.
state. Founded in 1973, NYPIRG is the tiple other campaigns, projects and unlike CDs, CRs or Hillel, there is no In July, a group of CUNY students
consumer, environmental and govern- events, NYPIRG at Stony Brook proper parent organization. “The clos- filed suit against NYPIRG, protesting
ment reform organization that helped planned a full program for the 08-09 ac- est thing to it would be the student how the organization collects funds
pass the Generic Drug Law, replenish from student ac-
the superfund pro- tivity fees. Brady
gram, and broaden says that like any
the Tuition Assis- other institu-
tance Program. Of tion, the USG
all the organization’s senate “has it’s
missions, one thing own culture.”
NYPIRG always did Brady wants to
was voter registra- see NYPIRG
tion. Last year, a back on campus,
non-election year, but at the same
NYPIRG at Stony time he shares
Brook registered the board with
around 1700 voters. incumbents
This year, with who thought
no NYPIRG, voter that last year
registration for the NYPIRG wasn’t
November 4 presi- doing anything.
dential election is And when all
primarily the job of was said and
partisan groups done, those
such as the College present day
Democrats. The
Andrew Fraley
incumbents
Undergraduate Stu- Dark, empty and locked: The scene at the NYPIRG office these days. passed a budget
dent Government that allocated $0
has also been regis- for NYPIRG.
tering new voters, but without a non- ademic year, requesting $150,000 from board of directors,” he says. That board, “From our perspective it’s starting to
partisan activist group on campus, USG the USG. Like all other clubs, this comprised entirely of students and seem like an ideological thing,” says
senator Kevin Brady sees a void that money would have come from the elected by students, hires NYPIRG’s ex- Morrison. “This small group of students
needs to be filled. mandatory $94.25 student activity fee ecutive directors, passes the organiza- with all the power seemed to oppose
“As a new senator, I’m still answer- that Stony Brook undergraduates pay tion’s budget and chooses the issues that NYPIRG’s work.”
ing these questions as we go along and each year. NYPIRG will work on. With the USG budget, student
asking more detailed versions,” says Andrew Morrison is a NYPIRG re- “Given the terms we have right politicians debate over a plan worth
Brady. As the November election is ap- gional supervisor, and has been repre- now, in the state economically and then nearly $3,000,000. Voter turnout for
proaching and state budget cuts in the senting NYPIRG in their current quest eventually financially and budgetary student elections at Stony Brook are
$13 million range are affecting all as- to get back on the USG budget. “The wise, you never want to be lacking some commonly low; only seven percent of
pects of higher education, the question money that is used to support a additional activists resources,” says eligible voters cast their ballot last April.
for some at Stony Brook is: Where is NYPIRG chapter, every dime of it that’s Brady. The new senator went to Thus it’s hard to determine if the USG
NYPIRG? used from the Stony Brook student ac- NYPIRG meetings last semester, which senate is a representation of the student
Brady, who won a senate seat in the tivity fee benefits the students here.” he says were well attended. “It seems body and their views. An inquiry to
most recent USG election, joined a leg- This becomes an issue when like they had a lot on their plate. They three random freshmen sitting in the
islative body whose budget committee NYPIRG, like other clubs including may not have been glamorous or sexy, Union’s fireside lounge revealed zero
had allocated $0 to NYPIRG in the College Democrats, College Republi- but they were trying to do different name recognition for NYPIRG and a
2008-2009 USG budget. Next to cans and The Hillel Foundation For things as they always are.” low familiarity of USG. Last year, edu-
NYPIRG, the sidebar of the budget doc- Jewish Life, are local chapters of a A full NYPIRG program at Stony cating students about USG was a job of
ument says “did not spend budget in 07- broader organization. “We were sup- Brook included two full time project co- NYPIRG’s.
08.” porting a national organization and we ordinators and a number of student in-
The 07-08 NYPIRG budget was couldn’t figure out where our money terns. The coordinators earned a salary
8 Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008

features
Physics Makes Us All Its Bitches
GOD particle, the Higgs Boson is be- ment such as data acquisition and up-
By Najib Aminy and Will Dunn lieved to be responsible for allocating grading research and development.
mass to an atom due to the properties Currently, Tysbychev and other Stony
of the strong force. Stony Brook’s own Brook staff members are working on
Three-thousand eight-hundred Physic’s staff member, Dmitri Tysby- conditioning and calibrating detectors
and sixteen miles east of Stony Brook chev, who is currently working at in ensuring that they operate
University, just outside Geneva, CERN, said, “if the Higgs Boson is smoothly.
Switzerland, CERN scientists are ac- present, the LHC will pick it up.” The A large part of ATLAS’ design and
celerating atoms at 99.9995% the LHC is the first particle accelerator ca- function was due in part to
speed of light through the Large pable of detecting the Higgs Boson Brookhaven’s STAR experiment at the
Hadron Collider in what is the largest due to its sheer size and its ability to RHIC. The concept, simple in theory,
and most expensive scientific project
ever to take place in human history.
Thirteen miles east of Stony Brook
University, Brookhaven scientists are
working on a precursor model of the
LHC, called the Relativistic Heavy Ion
Collider. In both projects, Stony Brook
has contributed significantly with nu-
merous personnel working at each lo-
cation.
Within a particle accelerator such
as LHC and RHIC, two beams of par-
ticles are accelerated to velocities ap-
proaching the speed of light. Upon
reaching these speeds, the two beams
will collide resulting in a small-scale
Big Bang phenomenon. As
Brookhaven Scientist and part-time
Stony Brook Physics professor Todd
Satogata said, “the energy generated
through a particle collision is compa-
rable to the collision of two mosqui-
toes.” However, the relative energy
density—the amount of energy in a
given space—for a particle collision is

The STAR detector


exponentially greater than two mos-
quitoes colliding due to the massive
amounts of energy in such a small produce velocities closer to the speed though highly complex in practice is
area. of light then ever before. “We will be designed to record a digital photo-
Within each project, different ex- able to detect whether Higgs exists or graph of particles immediately after
periments are run to analyze all as- not because of the luminosity and the collisions. According to van Buren, the
pects of particle collisions. These high momentum quark collisions tak- STAR takes a thousand photos per sec-
experiments will allow scientists to ing place,” said ATLAS Operations ond, tracking post-collision particle
understand “what the world is made Deputy Program Manager Howard trajectories. The ATLAS and CMS de-
out of,” as ATLAS Operations Deputy Gordon of Brookhaven National Labs. tector serve the same function; only
Manager Howard Gordon said. Stony Luminosity is the number of colli- the ATLAS and CMS are more ad-
Brook is most involved with the sions, which is increased due to a vanced, bigger and capable of record-
ATLAS experiment, a detector respon- larger ring size at CERN than com- ing faster collisions.
sible for tracking particles resulting pared to smaller accelerators. Critics of the LHC have sparked
from collisions, in the LHC. ATLAS’ If the Higgs particle was to be de- controversy citing the possibility of
design was based primarily on tected, it would be either at ATLAS or creating black holes that could destroy
Brookhaven’s own STAR project at the a similar experiment, called CMS, that the world. When asked about black
RHIC, which serves a similar purpose. track particles after collision. ATLAS holes, Gordon confirmed that the
In participating in both RHIC and the and CMS serve to record and track the LHC will be accelerating particles fast
LHC, Stony Brook has joined the col- result of particle collisions. enough to create black holes. But Gor-
laborative world effort in answering Brookhaven scientist Gene van Buren don cited Cambridge professor Steven
some of the most fundamental ques- explained the purpose of ATLAS as Hawkins’ theory on black holes, stat-
tions posed to the Standard Physics “lighting a firecracker and putting the ing that a black hole needs excessive
Model. firecracker back together.” By analyz- amounts of energy to sustain itself. In
This model could be proven true ing the pieces of the fire cracker im- addition, the mass of the colliding
or flawed with the detection of the mediately after the explosion atoms would be so small that the hole
Higgs Boson. If detected, the model properties about the whole firecracker would only exist for a few moments
will prove true; if absent, scientists will can be determined, added van Buren. and disappear within a fraction of a
be forced to readjust the accepted un- Both Stony Brook and Brookhaven second. Should a black hole form, it
derstanding of physics. Also called the play a large role in the ATLAS experi- would be “conjectured to produce
The Stony Brook Press 9
features
because it helps scientists understand
PHYSICS continued from page 8 the Universe. This understanding can
spectacular signatures and would not be put to [more practical] use down
be confused with standard interac- the road.”
tions,” said Gordon. Only thirteen miles away, scien-
The LHC fired up in early Septem- tists are engaged in this cutting edge
ber but due to a leak in the helium research in hopes of making the un-
pipes, the collider will be inactive known known. Stony Brook, in con-
while repairs are being made. The junction with Brookhaven, have
LHC is to start up again in early spring established their roles in the scientific
during the same time in which RHIC world with its involvement in such
will be reactivated. This delay has in- groundbreaking research and look to
creased anticipation for the results of pave the way to the evolution of
LHC and the possible answers to the physics. As Satogata said, “it is impor-
fundamental questions of the Standard tant for locals to know what is in their
Physics Model, and more exciting, to backyard such as this world class facil-
the new questions that may be posed. ity.”
As Van Buren said, what goes on in
both RHIC and the LHC “is important

Sex and the City, But No Sex In The Brook?


tain free condoms through school-and for $1. find a better way of addressing student
By Cindy Liu and Kelly Yu RA-sponsored events; however, finding CPO runs the program Choosing requests in a more effective way…Sta-
condoms otherwise is more difficult Healthy Options In the College/Cam- tistically speaking, addiction and sexual
than one might think. When asked, pus Environment (C.H.O.I.C.E.), which assault will have a greater impact upon
Every year, the freshman packs in- “Where would you go to get condoms specializes in training peer educators to student life in the here and now.”
clude things that students will only look on campus?” the average student an- advise other students on matters of A focus on safe sex is put aside for a
at once, throw in the closet, and never swered, “The vending machines at Kelly physical wellness, including sexual ac- focus on alcohol and substance abuse in
look at again. Deep down in the bags, Dining or the Student Union.” How- tivity. According to Kathleen Valerio, a the context of rape and sexual assault.
an innocent freshman used to find con- This shift in focus potentially leaves stu-
dom packs supplied by the Center for dents unaware and unprepared for
Prevention and Outreach (CPO). This other sexual situations.
year, the infamous condom packs were There are also other opportunities
missing. for students to obtain condoms in their
Included with one Lifestyle and one buildings. RAs organize building pro-
Trojan condom was literature about grams in order to educate their resi-
sexually transmitted infections (STIs) dents on many different issues, such as
and safe sex. According to Associate safe sex. When asked, an RA from
Dean and Director of CPO Jenny Eleanor Roosevelt Quad said that he
Hwang, “We are focusing on providing had heard of two different sex education
condom packs in contexts where there programs during his time living in ERQ.
is opportunity to provide educational “The one that I went to was about STDs.
information about safer sex practices.” We put candy in a bag, depending on
Replacing the mandatory condoms in the candy we got, that was the disease
the packs was a voluntary event, “Con- you got. Then the RA would tell us
dom Casino,” in which students gam- what the disease was and what to do to
bled with condoms that could be prevent it.” Also, when asked about
exchanged for prizes. One girl left with condom distribution in his building, he
flip-flops. replied, “It’s nonexistent. Sometimes we
CPO, an on-campus organization, have them readily available,” but it is at
devotes itself to educating and promot- the individual RA’s discretion. One RA
ing the general well-being of the indi- ever, these vending machines are not al- previous instructor for C.H.O.I.C.E, makes little packets of condoms and
vidual. Their services include ways stocked, nor are they accessible to “the topics covered were related to phys- leaves them for her residents to take;
counseling for students, education students who may live farther away ical health – cancer risk awareness, safer however, not all residents in other
through faculty and student peer edu- (such as Tabler, Roth, and H quad resi- sex, and overall health and wellness, buildings or quads are as resourceful.
cators, and advocacy services. In addi- dents). The Student Union closes at which included nutrition.” However, With the inconsistency of condom
tion to education, they provide midnight, and it seems very unlikely this semester, the new instructor for availability on campus and the amount
condoms for other non-CPO events, one would make the run to the vending C.H.O.I.C.E., Ellen Driscoll, will be of education provided for the student
such as RA-organized activities for machines to pay $1 for only two con- teaching a new curriculum. This new body, one is forced to wonder how re-
campus residents. The condoms pro- doms. The prices for condoms on cam- curriculum will focus on addiction and sponsible the university is for providing
vided come in boxes of 1,000. It costs pus vary. They range from $1 for four at sexual assault. They will integrate sex means of safe sex practices. Stony
$62 for a box of Lifestyle and $90 for a the Student Health Center pharmacy to into situations involving substance Brook’s sex education is like an unused
box of Trojans. These boxes are given $2.49 for three at the Seawolves Mar- abuse and assault, but do not mention condom: available, but ultimately
to groups seeking to organize events ketplace. These rates pale in compari- if they will also talk about healthy sex wasted.
that will in some way educate students son to other SUNY schools, such as practices, such as contraceptives. Ac-
about responsible sex. Students can ob- SUNY Oswego, which sell ten condoms cording to Kathleen Valerio, “We had to
10 Features Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008

STONY BROOK vs HOFSTRA


Photos by Liz Kaufman
The Stony Brook Press Features 11
E-mail The Press at
Want your club/organization to be featured in a future Club Spotlight? sbpressnews@gmail.com
12 Features Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008

R-E-C-Y-C-L-E: Recycle!
versity. Tons of paper, newspaper, mag-
By Jessica Rybak azines, textbooks, essays, loose-leaf
paper, cardboard boxes and so much
more shuffled by in endless circulation
One man’s trash is another man’s all day. Although the department han-
treasure. In order to learn the true dles both the actual practice of recycling
meaning of this phrase, I put in some and reaching out to students on the
time at Stony Brook’s Recycling and Re- topic, I began with the former, which
source Management headquarters. provides a more hands-on approach to
At first glance, the department was making a difference. Youdelman told
a humble building with a pale green ex- me that he would rather I began by sort-
terior, exactly what I’d expected to see ing recyclables because it would show
in an organization so dedicated to me the reality of how important it is for
spreading a positive message. Signs de- students to know how to recycle. And
picting recycling instructions, motiva- his intentions were well met. While
tion and explanations littered the walls. sorting through bins designated for
“Come on everybody, let’s get green, be- paper recyclables, I frequently found ev-
fore Mother Nature gets real mean,” was idence that convinced me that students
written in green ink on a dry erase carelessly toss their trash wherever the
board in the hallway. nearest receptacle lies. To be honest, I
Jessica Rybak
If you can guess how many boxes are in there you win a free Stony Brook Press t-shirt
As an avid fan of saving the envi- can understand that it’s difficult to en-
ronment, I made light of manager Mike vision where your garbage will end up.
Youdelman’s warning that “sorting” So it doesn’t faze you when you drop it
would be unpleasant and tiresome. off, but take it from someone who has it causes when a batch of paper is sprin- cording to Cannova, Stony Brook’s re-
“Sorting,” as it has been nicknamed by had to handle your trash: it sucks. After kled with crumbs from a granola bar or cycling program began in the 1980’s by
long-time employees, is the process of you drop your waste off, there’s some- used tissues. (In case anyone had “two students and one little truck,” and
deciphering which category paper fits one waiting to pick it up and hopefully doubts, used tissues are not recyclable the program merely “grew from there.”
into while it rolls by on a conveyor belt, use it as one small step towards a better paper.) Russ Cannova, Recycling Su- Statistics of this department show that
then tossing it into a giant bin with pa- world. I’ve become one of those people, pervisor, explained a similar problem in the last three years alone the amount
pers of the like. This includes paper and I can vouch for the frustration that that is found within the school pertain- of recycled tonnage has jumped from
that’s been disposed by the entire uni- ing to bottles found in residence halls’ approximately 2,000 tons in 2005 to al-
recycling bins. “Some of them have a most 40,000 tons in 2007. Cannova at-
lot of garbage inside of them, so our tributes this improvement to
guys have to clean it all and take the Youdelman. “I give Mike a lot of credit.
trash out,” says Cannova. He put it all together to make it easier
Although sifting through recycling for people to recycle, and if it’s easy for
to ensure its cleanliness didn’t seem like people it’ll become a habit. It’s an easy
a time consuming operation or even a habit to save the planet!”
necessary one when I began working, I Look out for tables where the Recy-
now understand the gravity of the pub- cling and Resource Management squad
lic doing whatever it can to make the will be spreading the message at the
process run more smoothly. This one SAC and the Union on November 15,
department handles collecting and re- which is America Recycles Day.
cycling paper, bottles, cans, ink jets, I can truly say that I’ll never look at
toner, wood, carpeting, metal and even a piece of paper or an empty bottle with
ceiling tiles. Combine that with a staff the same sentiment after this experi-
of approximately 20 people and the ence. After seeing the extensive process
threat of “contamination,” the proper that it takes to recycle, it put the larger
term for when unrecyclables mix with part of the public’s inability to go the
the good stuff, and you’ve got a load of extra mile in perspective. After you’ve
responsibility on your hands. bid adieu to your empty water bottle or
“We’ve come a long way in the last crumpled your receipt from a local
few years,” says Cannova, adding “To SINC Site, you have the choice between
me, it’s not as bad of a problem now as whether or not you want to breathe new
it used to be, but it is still there.” Ac- life into your old recyclable.
The Stony Brook Press News

Club Spotlight
ASA : Asian Student Alliance CASB : Chinese Association at Stony Brook
ASA was formed in the mid-90ʼs CASB, the oldest Asian
by Asian American students of all eth- interest club with the oldest an-
nicities whose native language was nual cultural show, China Night,
English and wanted a supportive pan- will be 40 years old in 2010. In
asian cultural community. Until then 2003, when Distinguished
most clubs held their meetings in their Alumni Award winner Wai Lam
native languages and their events were was a speaker, he joked how
geared for immigrant students. the last time he was on the
Each Fall ASA holds the Union stage was as a performer
largest Asian interest cultural show, in China Night - and he graduated in 1982! China Night has mor-
Asian Night, featuring modern and tra- phed into a different show from its first days in Cantonese - now in
ditional performances. It was at the first English. It has a story line that showcases traditional and modern
Asian Night that the first SBU Asian acts but now favors dance and step routines and sizzling fashion
American student rock band per- shows.
formed. CASB holds many events including a singing contest, game
With all the other clubs nights, and mah jong and poker tournaments. It does not have
doing their major shows in the Spring, ASA has taken over the role weekly meetings but events during many of its block-booked times.
of organizer of multi-club events like the Nations of Asia Semi-formal Events are on the AA E-Zine and SBU calendars and sent out on
and promoting attendance at the annual ECAASU conferences. Facebook.
ASAʼs other events include food tastings, game nights, Sudoku tour- The most successful event of the first Asian American Aware-
naments, talent shows, dance-a-thons, and more. ness Week was CASBʼs first mah jong tournament in the Wang Cen-
In tune with more serious issues brought up at ECAASU, the ter. It also co-sponsors the Nations of Asia Semi-Formal, sends a
East Coast Asian American Student Union, ASA also leads work- contigent of its members to ECAASU, and its dance team performs
shops of importance to Asian American students like dealing with at other campus shows.
stereotypes, discrimination, and providing leadership opportunities.
SASA : South Asian Student Alliance
PUSO : Philippine United Student
Organization
PUSO shares the
Filipino culture with the
student body through per-
formances, workshops,
meetings, and events. It
provides a friendly network
for students of similar
backgrounds and interests
to bond and interact. SASA, the South Asian Student Alliance, began as Club India
PUSO discusses contem- and is the second oldest Asian cultural club on campus. It changed
porary and historical issues dealing with the Philippines, stereo- its name in 2000 to reflect the number of students of South Asian de-
types, and the clash between liberal and Americanism and scent who are not Indian but share many of the same cultural tradi-
conservative Filipino Culture. One can call an Asian Filipino, Chi- tions, such as Guyanese students, and those of surrounding South
nese, Korean, and many other specific nationalities but what PUSO Asian countries such as Bangladesh and Pakistan. SASA's pres-
members strive together to do is to discover what it means to be sure on SBU helped lead to the formation of the Center for India
Asian American. Studies in 1997.
PUSOʼs logo is the word for “love” in Tagolog, the native Fil- SASA works in conjunction with offshoots that have formed
ipino language. PUSA holds many events. In the Fall is Open Mic such as BU (Bengalis Unite), Club Om/DSA(Desi Student Associa-
Night, Halo-Halloween, Simbang Gabi, and Gawad Kalinga tion, which began as a more religious club but became DSA to bet-
Fundraiser. In the Spring is PUSOfest. PUSO ter reflect Indian American students), Sikh SA, WISO (West Asian
takes part in joint activities like Asian Aware- Student Association), the Indian interest frats lota Nu Delta and
ness Week and the Nations of Asia Semi- Sigma Beta Rho, and dance groups Thillana, SB Bhangra Team,
Formal. Its members attend the regional and SB Di Shaan Bhangra.
Please visit
FIND conferences each semester. SASA puts on two large shows each year, the Charity Show
http://www.aaezine.org/
PUSOʼs dance team performs in cam- to raise funds for scholarships and humanitarian aid, and SHOLAY,
to find out about the
pus shows and Battle of the Barrios, a its annual cultural show. SHOLAY is so popular, its tickets sell out
other Asian and Asian
regional colleges dance competition. within the first hour they go on sale! It also has a fashion show,
American Clubs on
campus. weekly meetings for socializing, and an off-campus semi-formal. To
check out SASA's latest happenings, use Facebook.
Weekly meetings every Friday at 2:30 PM in our
www.aa2sbu.org/aaezine in SB Press Vol 30 No 2 September 2008 office, Student Union 071
14 Features Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Voter Myths Busted!


number. Plus, Stony Brook is a state tuition, books, laundry, car, etc.) for that vate scholarship based solely on where
By Alex Nagler school controlled by the state govern- year, you are a qualifying relative and you live.
ment, the same government that con- are your parents’ dependent no matter
trols the judicial system. They’re going where you live. If you earn more than So, there we have it. Jury duty, de-
There are many myths and miscon- to send you your assignment regardless $3500, it’s true that your residency pendency, and scholarship are all no
ceptions about registering to vote on a of if you register to vote or not. So the could have some effect on your parents’ longer reasons you shouldn’t register to
college campus. Sources, whose inten- claim, “I don’t want to be called up for ability to claim you as a dependent, but vote on a college campus. Neither are
tions are to obfuscate the process have jury duty” doesn’t work. voter registration is only one of many health or car insurance. Sorry if I just
been preventing students from voting in factors that will be considered.” Regis- took away all of your excuses.
a location that they live eight months Can’t Claim Dependent tering to vote is not going to keep your Now get up off your ass and register
out of the year. A student lives on a folks from claiming you. to vote. The New York State deadline is
campus for the majority of a year, shops Dependency status is something October 10.
in its local stores, uses its local facilities, that all families of college students rely Lose Your Scholarship
and contributes to its local economy. upon. It’s the right of your parents to tell
They have every right to vote in the area the government that you’re their prob- Scholarships are, for those who
they live. So, with that, let’s look at three lem, and therefore they deserve $3500 have them, the vital lifeblood of attend-
major myths about registering to vote off their income taxes. Obviously this is ing school without destroying their own
on campus. a very good thing for parents, but some or their parent’s savings accounts. New
students have been told that if they reg- York doesn’t have any rules about loss
Jury Duty ister to vote, they’ll be unable to let their of scholarship for registering or reregis-
parents claim them as dependents. This tering elsewhere, and unless you’re from
The first claim is that registering to is simply not true. The Brennan Center Rhode Island, you don’t have anything
vote makes you eligible for jury duty, for Justice at New York University to worry about. Place of registration
forcing you to subject to one of the School of Law has this to say on the does not affect any federally given fi-
more tedious aspects of our democracy. issue: nancial aid, such as Pell, Perkins,
Jury duty, though an essential part of “If you make less than $3500 in a year Stafford, or SMART. It doesn’t affect
our judicial process and the civic duty and your parents provide more than private loans either. It doesn’t even af-
of all Americans, is boring. Well, I hate half of your support (money spent on fect FAFSA. The only time you could be
to be the one to tell you this, but if you your food, housing, clothes, health care, in jeopardy here is if you received a pri-
have a driver’s license, they have your

Jesus Is Just Alright With Me


wears a Barack Obama “Change” shirt. tongued outbursts can’t be proven and
By Jonathan Singer Frank, a senior, Baptist and white, President Philip is willing to admit that
admits that he’s possibly a minority at his school is primarily a science uni-
the Intervarsity meeting. He jokingly versity. Every day at school the average
Apparently, Jesus is a very popular self deprecates, admitting that to an out- Intervarsity faithful faces lectures
person, even at a science heavy school sider, the thought of an event sponsored about evolutionary biology and physi-
like Stony Brook. While his status as the by The Intervarsity Christian Fellow- cal cosmology, as well as arguments in
son of (a) God is always up for debate, ship conjures up images of “crackers” the social sciences favoring abortion
each week over one hundred SBU stu- praying together. and gay marriage. But just as the club
dents congregate in SAC room 302 to But Intervarsity is a multi denomi- is diverse in race, it is also diverse in
praise the famous religious figure. national organization, and with that terms of academia. Frank, for example,
Members of Stony Brook’s Intervarsity comes racial diversity. Frank is white, is a double major in Psychology and
Christian Fellowship are evangelical the faster in the Obama shirt is black, Biology.
and fundamentalist, but that doesn’t and another Christian in attendance “I guess the real test is if you have
stop them from being hip and normal chose Intervarsity over SBU’s Korean faith or if you don’t,” says Frank. Frank
college students. Christian Fellowship. “People of all believes that one day a few years ago,
Many of them wear crosses around faiths can come here,” says Jason Philip, God had the idea of making a Big
their necks, and at least one in atten- President of Stony Brook’s Intervarsity Bang.
dance, like JC, Moses and Elijah, had chapter. Then that God had a son, who is
survived a forty day fast. But instead of Once inside, all in attendance unite great by Intervarsity standards. They
praying in some ancient language, tra- to praise (one specific) God and Jesus. only mention that greatness at least
ditional prayers are forgone for songs by For one night a week, SAC 302 is turned 100 times, or one for each member of
popular artists like Charlie Hall, Chris into a mega-church, not in size but in the assembled audience. Non-believ-
Tomlin, Phil Wickham and the Chris- the way the patron’s behave. These are ers should not worry. At the end of
tian rock band Delirious?. very passionate issues, and some of the each prayer session, the prayer leader
Performing these songs live is the kids at Intervarsity show that passion by instructs everyone to hold hands and
Worship Team, a five piece band that raising their arms in praise, busting out pray for thirty seconds. Fifteen sec-
one hip Christian described as being freestyle prayers (a very conservative onds for the person on one’s left, and
“off the chain.” One of the team’s guitar version of beatnik spoken word jams) fifteen for the person on one’s right.
players wears a Red Hot Chili Peppers and even speaking in tongues. That’s the only part of the service
shirt, while the forty day fast survivor Of course, the origin of these where an atheist wouldn’t fit in.
The Stony Brook Press Features 15

Will The Real Dark “Horse” Candidate Please Stand Up?


most Googled candidate behind Rep. only true maverick jockeying for posi- nominator here?” “He’s as full of sh*t as
By Marcel Votlucka Ron Paul (R-TX). But with this popu- tion in this race! We need a fresh start; the rest of ‘em,” retorts Keith Olber-
larity has comes sharp criticism of shake things up with a true Washington mann. “The only question is: bull or
RUFUS’ admitted lack of political expe- outsider like RUFUS! How many can- horse?”
With voter turnout and public con- rience and the “unknown” factor – didates can say they were born and Fellow Presidential candidates
fidence in their elected officials at an RUFUS has never held a single elected raised on a ranch and made their living Barack Obama and John McCain have
all-time low, one wonders: is there truly office. working at rodeos? How all-American- so far refrained from weighing in on
a viable candidate this election season RUFUS; perhaps not taking him seri-
who represents the People? ously due to his low standing in official
Answer: of “horse” there is! public polls. Moreover, RUFUS is not
Meet RUFUS, independent candi- officially on the ballot in any of the 50
date for Presidency of the United States States because of his failure to meet con-
– and possibly the most unique candi- troversial ballot access requirements.
date you will ever encounter in this Instead, voters may place ballots for
frenzied “horse-race.” Born and raised RUFUS as a write-in candidate. His
on his father’s ranch in rural Montana, campaign managers have turned this
RUFUS is running for P.O.T.U.S. to seemingly mutable tactic into a major
fight for the interests of the people clos- selling point; a political “maverick” and
est to his heart – small town Americans “outsider” struggling to get the people’s
fed up with Washington snobbery and voices heard – as his first televised po-
eager for a real “hoedown” on Capitol litical ad asserts – “one way or an-
Hill! other...and that ain’t no horse-hockey!”
“It started with the small time Independent Presidential candidate
ranchers and rural cowboys and farm- Ralph Nader was quick to point out “the
ers,” explains Cheryl Brown, RUFUS’ partisan biases that are inherent in bal-
campaign manager and personal assis- lot access laws – you have the two major
tant. “Y’know, the people most ignored parties, that control ballot access, lock
by the media and the politickin’ politi- out competing candidates, lock us out
cians in D.C. They were at the forefront from the debates, put innumerable hur-
of the ‘Draft RUFUS’ movement last dles in our path. This is a real tragedy,
year. Before we knew it, we had peti- “His idea of a sound foreign policy apple-pie can you get?” A Facebook an insult to democracy, and I welcome
tions coming in from all over the coun- involves whinniying and whining as if group called “I Support RUFUS for Prez fellow candidates like RUFUS who are
try begging for RUFUS to shake up the we can simply scare the terrorists away in ‘08!” has recently appeared; a testa- willing to saddle themselves with the re-
boring ol’ horse-race.” like so many rodeo clowns,” says Vice ment to the candidate’s sudden popu- sponsibility of challenging this biparti-
Indeed, RUFUS’ rising success is Presidential candidate Sen. Joe Biden larity. san gridlock.”
thanks to a dedicated base of support- (D-DE). “Maybe that’ll work out in Pundits have mixed feelings about Whether you’re Obama, McCain,
ers drawn to his simple yet powerfully Montana, but this is Washington. We RUFUS. “He’s a real dark-horse candi- or RUFUS, the stakes are high and the
inspiring message – “Pulling America need proven leadership and experience date. It’ll be exciting to see how this path is unsure in this election. But don’t
out of the MUCK of bipartisanship!” to do the job of protecting Americans plays out,” says George Stephanopoulos, be surprised if our modern-day politi-
Without any central direction from the from the likes of Al Qaeda.” of ABC. Bill O’Reilly remarked at a re- cal Seabiscuit pulls through to a photo
candidate or his team, his supporters But that matters little to RUFUS’ cent book signing, “I wonder if these finish this November!
have created a massive Internet follow- most devout backers, such as Noah pinheads at the RUFUS campaign are
ing, making RUFUS the number two Whitegrass of Paducah, KY, “He’s the just going for the lowest common de-

Be S u p er!
Joi n The

20
PRESS!!!
16 Features Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Freedom & Ethics: The NYU J-School Controversy


among the consolidated laws which they say in class, due to a possibility of jections are. It appeared to me that at
By Najib Aminy states: “the right of privacy of a person, it being published, whether online or in one point she felt this could be disrup-
firm or corporation that uses for adver- print. “My concern is in anything that tive to the class. So it was not a response
tising purposes, or for the purposes of tends to limit freedom of expression in about whether this was negative about
When New York University Junior trade, the name, portrait or picture of the classroom or which would be detri- her or the class, and she was trying to
Alana Taylor wrote an opinionated ar- any living person without having first mental to the educational purpose of stop people from saying bad things,”
ticle about her journalism class and the obtained the written consent of such the university.” said the former Newsday Editor.
current digital revolution, she hoped person, or if a minor of his or her parent In preserving the freedom of the When asked about Taylor’s article,
that it would spark dialogue and pro- or guardian, is guilty of a misde- classroom, Professor Quigley may have Quigley emailed, responding that she
pose solutions among her readers. Little meanor.” stepped over some boundaries, possibly could not comment other than to clar-
did she know that her article would Some critics claim that Taylor failed posing a threat to the freedoms upon ify her policy on reporting about her
light a fire to a controversial debate of to conform to the NYU Journalism which journalism is based. Director of class. “I don’t allow live blogging, tex-
media ethics and create waves in the ting, e-mailing, or twittering during
giant ocean of the blogosphere. The ar- class. It is distracting to both me and the
ticle, posted on a PBS Web blog, Medi- students, especially in a class with stu-
aShift, was aimed at presenting Taylor’s dents seated around a seminar table.
perspective of being an NYU journal- Once a student steps outside of the
ism student amidst a new digital wave. classroom he is free to make any and all
Titled “Old Thinking Permeates comments in whatever forum he
Major Journalism School,” Taylor re- chooses,” Quigley said. However, Taylor
ported on her thoughts of the NYU says she never wrote any bit of her arti-
Journalism department citing her jour- cle in Quigley’s class. Confused about it
nalism class, “Reporting for Generation herself, Taylor viewed Quigley’s re-
Y,” in its approach to changing with the sponse as a reversal of what she had said
times. For example, in the fourth annual earlier and possibly softening her stance
“State of the Blogosphere,” conducted by from before.
Technorati, the report states that in a While talking to Taylor on her own
2008 study, 184 million people world- take of the situation, she noted that with
wide have started their own blog while the exception of a few handful of re-
346 million worldwide read these blogs. porters, no one has yet to interview her
With the apparent shift to the Internet, for comment. Taylor was not expecting
less people are getting their news from the huge amount of feedback her article
newspapers, magazines and television Code of Ethics which states, “the vast the Arthur L. Carter Journalism Insti- had received, noting that everyone who
broadcasts. More and more people are majority of time, journalists should tute of NYU, Brooke Kroeger, said in had commented had a strong opinion.
looking to the “series of tubes” for an- make clear to the people they are inter- the MediaShift article, titled, “NYU Taylor’s response to breaking journalis-
swers. viewing that they are journalists. State Professor Stifles Blogging, Twittering by tic ethic codes was that she had not in-
Fully aware of this fact, Taylor’s your name and affiliation up front.” By Journalism Student,” that it was up to tended on writing her thoughts of the
piece is centralized on the importance not informing Professor Quigley or her the professors to allow or restrict stu- NYU journalism department as an ex-
of the new shift to digital media, and fellow students, some see Taylor as the dents from writing about what occurred posé. Rather, as she put it, “A Day in the
questions the NYU Journalism Depart- one at fault for failing to follow proce- in class. In an email response, Kroeger Life of Alana Taylor” type of story that
ment’s hesitation to teach on this new- dure as well as the rules of her own in- said, “We leave a great deal in matters of would provide readers an inside look at
age revolution. However when Taylor’s stitution. PBS Ombudsman Michael the classroom to the discretion of indi- a student attending a top-tier journal-
professor, Mary Quigley, read the arti- Getler, wrote in an editorial that Taylor vidual professors. There are, of course, ism institution. Taylor, who wrote her
cle and confronted Taylor about it, a was unique from other bloggers because some common understandings, but article after the first day of class, says
second story was written by Taylor’s ed- she was hired, though not for money, by professors are generally free to decide that the mood of the classroom has re-
itor, Mark Glaser, that sparked even MediaShift, which would make it an ob- such matters.” turned to normalcy, and both she and
more controversy. According to Taylor, ligation for her to inform her professor After reading Taylor’s article and Professor Quigley have agreed to move
in a private meeting Quigley said, “we of the story. “This was a journalism stu- the response article, Ethel Sorokin, of on as if the article were never written in
could agree for you to no longer write dent in a journalism department who the Center for the First Amendment the first place. Taylor said she felt like
about this class.” Quigley then ad- did this without either telling the Rights, said she was in agreement with there was bit of sensationalism when it
dressed the classroom of sixteen stu- teacher what she was doing or who she Taylor. “I didn’t see how discussing the came to naming the headlines of her ar-
dents letting them know about Taylor’s was doing it for, without asking permis- teachers classroom approach was in any ticle as well as the follow-up story, but
article, emphasizing that students were sion of the teacher or other classmates way demeaning or an invasion of pri- when asked if she would do it again, she
not to report about the class. With the (one classmate is quoted anonymously, vacy—[blogging is] an educational issue quickly replied yes.
foundation of journalism based upon also not a great journalistic habit to get that all should be interested in.” Sorokin Taylor’s intention of promoting the
the freedoms of speech and the press, in to), without checking content or ask- added that she does support the teacher importance of blogging was, in her eyes,
Quigley’s response to prohibit a student ing for the teacher’s views of the author’s as well, saying, “I’m with the student, successful. “Regardless of whether peo-
from writing about her class has critical assessments, and without, of but my feet and body are with the ple agreed or not, the article was posted
sparked controversy. course, identifying her national con- teacher, so both have to be open—in on a web blog, in which discussion re-
“She told me I violated the students nection to PBS,” said Getler. good First Amendment style—to the sulted, which proves that blogs are ef-
rights, their personal privacy, that I was In response to Taylor’s article, Stony views of the other to achieve the ulti- fective.”
wrong on many ethical levels, and about Brook’s Dean of the School of Journal- mate best result which may be mostly Asked if fellow NYU students rec-
how I should’ve sought permission,” ism, Howard Schneider, said that the blogging in the future.” Schneider, who ognize her from the article that she has
Taylor said in response to what Quigley only problem he would have with blog- said he has met Quigley before, was a written, Taylor replied, “No, I usually
had. In New York State the only law per- ging or reporting about any class is if it little baffled by her response. “I am a lit- wear a hat.”
taining to personal privacy matters are results in students worrying about what tle confused myself as to what her ob-
The Stony Brook Press Features 17

We here at e Stony Brook Press, aer extensive discussion and thought, have decided to stand in solidarity with Alana Taylor. Many of us are future jour-
nalists, and it’s impossible to ignore the fact that online mediums of the cra are on their way to surpassing printed forms. In addition, she has every right to write
whatever she desires about her classes.. It is the job of the professors to respond to it professionally, or simply ignore it completely. But they have no basis to claim she
cannot write it.
So, as a display of our stance, some of us have decided to write a small selection about our classes, departments or semesters here at Stony Brook. We know
this isn’t an online blog, but we hope it gets our professors’ (and, indeed, those at the NYU School of Journalism) attention, anyway. Some of these pieces aren’t even
meant to be inflammatory. ey simply are meant to demonstrate that, as journalists and the future professionals of the world, we have the right to write whatever
we like about whomever or whatever we like.
Keep up the good work, Alana. And to all the rest of the journalists and writers out there, always remember that we here at e Stony Brook Press will stand
by you when you need it. Never stop writing, blogging, or even twittering!

Sincerely,
e Stony Brook Press

A Day in ANP 330: Human Evolution at Stony Brook University EGL 243 and You: Shakespeare, Videbaek, Henry

A piece in defiance by Andrew Jacob Today in EGL 243 we continued our ongoing discussion of Shakespeare’s Henry
IV: Part I. To those unfamiliar with Shakespeare’s histories, Henry IV is a two-part
Today in ANP 330, there was a nine question quiz. It was numbered
play and Part I is one-fourth of a larger tetralogy. We were in the middle of Act III,
to 10 due to a deletion of a question and then not fixing the error, but
scene iii, in which King Henry voices his disappointment in his son, Hal, and threat-
that’s not really important. The quiz covered the past four or five lectures ens to remove him from the line of secession. It’s easy to feel bad for Hal, as he wanted
which focused on the fossil record of apes during the Miocene. I think I to become responsible on his own terms, but now he can’t, thanks to a stupid civil
got a 77 on it due to some random guessing on a few questions. war.
The professor is James Rossie, a lighthearted and comical anthropol- We also discussed axing Anthony and Cleopatra from the syllabus to allow for
ogist who graduated from Yale and occasionally works in Kenya digging more fun with Henry and one of Professor Videbaek’s favorite characters in all of
up fossils and the like. Midway through the quiz he left the room and Shakespeare - John Falstaff. I’ve mentioned Professor Videbaek in this paper before,
came back with two bottles of ginger ale, claiming that the machine gave mainly commenting that she’s the sole professor I know to teach a class in a Trogdor
him two for the price of one. Score one for the consumer. t-shirt, though it pales in comparison to her “Viking World Tour” shirt. She’s pretty
Post-quiz time was taken up by a lecture on the nature and charac- much the only professor I search for in the course catalogue and whose class I take re-
teristics of bipedal humans in contrast to suspensory apes. It was proba- gardless of what it is. That led me to develop a completely rational disgust of gloves
bly the second or third time I had gone through the subject, due to thanks to her Elizabethan Tragedy course last spring.
covering it in other classes in the past. Regardless, it is always a fun sub- We should finish Henry IV: Part I next week, though it could be later thanks to
ject to discuss and Dr. Rossie makes the subject even better with his crude Jewish Holiday related disruptions. I’m sad that we don’t do Part II or Henry V after
drawings, pop culture references, and stories about anthropologists in the it. I may read them both over the winter when I have the time, even though I already
past being wrong or misinterpreting things that we now see as obvious. know one of the most famous speeches from V- the Saint Crispin’s Day speech.
The class finally ended as we were just about to discuss the Laetoli Alright, class is over. I have to go to the Press office now and watch the rest of the
footprints found in Africa which show that some creature was bipedal staff pitch this idea. Good thing I came prepared.
about 3.5 million years ago. Monday’s class should be interesting as we
dive deeper into the fossil record which shows evidence of bipedalism in
apes very long before humans were around. Playing The “Transfer Student’s Wallet Blues”
By Samantha Monteleone

I’m a transfer student and since I’m a music major, I was put in this class, the His-
tory of Western Music. I’ll admit, the class itself is really awesome. Not only do we
Future Teachers Earning Their Stripes
learn about Baroque composers and the music, we actually listen to and analyze the
By James Laudano
pieces in the class, and learn why they were created. I think that’s wonderful. How-
ever, there are six textbooks required for the class. Six. Four huge textbooks at exor-
In case you were wondering, the teachers of tomorrow learn the ropes
bitant prices, and two whole anthology volumes of cd’s at $90 each. Now, I don’t have
in SSE 350, Foundations of Education. The course is required for any
a job and I can reference the library to get the music fo’ free, but it takes eons. It just
teacher seeking state certification from Stony Brook University. The
seems very difficult to obtain all the volumes, even though it’s such an awesome class.
course has been taught for years by Dr. Georges Fouron, an impassioned
I’m torn between my ears and my wallet. We’ll see how it goes.
individual who makes things entertaining even though the content some-
times isn’t.
The workload consists of two research papers. One of which is fif-
teen pages long, and another of a currently unknown length. This year, the LIN 307: Sociolinguistics
course centers on how American grade school education has been lack- by Iris Lin
ing over the past few decades. So far, we’ve only covered how the foun-
dations of American education have always been rather shaky going back I’m a Linguistics major and this semester I am taking LIN 211: Syntax and
as far as the early colonial period. In many ways the class just feels like a
LIN 307: Sociolinguistics. My Sociolinguistics class only meets once a week, on Thurs-
history lesson.
day nights from 5:30 to 8:30. As a result, we’ve only met four times so far this semes-
However, the class really shines when Dr. Fouron goes off on one of
ter and Professor Weisenberg usually lets us out before 8:30. So far I am really enjoying
his tangents and trashes conservative and/or bigoted aspects of society. It
the class and I wish we met more often. Usually we are assigned reading to do for the
is a safe bet that he will do exactly this multiple times during a class ses-
next class and during class we discuss intriguing topics such as dialects and gendered
sion. It keeps things fresh and keeps the students on their toes.
speech. Basically, we look at how language affects society and vice versa.
Now I’ve just gotta figure out what I’m going to write about for that
fifteen-page paper.

WRITE, BLOG, BROADCAST, CHALLENGE!


18 Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008

arts&entertainment
Stony Brook Rocks! Well... It Used To, Anyhow
But just because the warm up show
By Jon Singer to the big city was at Stony Brook does-
n’t mean that it was smaller. In May of
1970, Jefferson Airplane drew 16,000
Jimi Hendrix, The Who, The (the cops counted) people to an outside
Grateful Dead, Jefferson Airplane and 3 show on the athletic fields. A year ear-
Doors Down. This list should make lier The Who packed 3,000 fans into the
everyone think of one thing: SUNY Prichard Gymnasium, who paid fifty
Stony Brook’s history as a renowned cents to see the popular British rock
concert venue. band. “It was rare for a Stony Brook
Shortly after the campus was concert to ever cost more than three or
founded in 1962, Stony Brook hosted four dollars from the mid to late 60s to
pop music concerts at a rate that was the early 70s,” says Prusslin.
close to three shows per week. Thanks Prusslin goes on to explain how the
to the efforts of dedicated students who concert industry was different in those
were in touch with the pulse of the time, decades, when The Who would cost
the school became the premier music overwhelmingly white and like- and the prices of the bands were very
$3,000. Back then students ran the
venue on Long Island. minded. high,” says Prusslin.
show, treating concert promotion as an
Stony Brook’s position as a large They were also like-minded in so- Eight to ten shows a semester
extracurricular of sorts. Stony Brook
university approximately sixty miles cial class, and since college tuition was turned into two to three shows a semes-
students like Mary Beth Olbrych (eek, a
from New York City, assisted in making cheaper back then Prusslin explains that ter, which turned into one or two shows
girl!) were active in the Student Activi-
the school a top suburban venue. Back most students didn’t need to work a part a semester. It became difficult for the
ties Board, chaired at the time by Howie
then there were guidelines as to how time job outside of school. That gave Student Activities Board to book con-
Klein. The SAB of the late 60s and early
promoters protected their territories. student promoters like Sandy Pearlman, certs when the Dave Matthews Band
70s booked The Moody Blues, The
“They always used a fifty mile radius as who named Blue Oyster Cult “Blue cost around $250,000.
Doors, Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix
a thing for protection,” says Norm Prus- Oyster Cult,” more time to work with But Stony Brook still has the infra-
There also was Soft White Underbelly,
slin, former WUSB Station Manager, bands and book them gigs at Stony structure to host large-scale concerts.
the band that would ultimately become
now the director of Stony Brook Uni- Brook. Eventually the Sandy Pearlmans The arena is the successor to the
Blue Oyster Cult.
versity’s Media Arts Program. Contracts of the world evolved into the major cor- Pritchard Gym, and was host to a 1990
Prusslin says that, in retrospect, he
had stipulations that prevented an act porate promoters who bring main- Bob Dylan concert as well as a 2001
doesn’t think any members of Blue Oys-
from performing at another venue stream bands to large arenas and show featuring the popular rock band 3
ter Cult actually went to school at Stony
within fifty miles of where they agreed stadiums. Doors Down. “And then, of course,
Brook. While the BOC’s level of renown
to play a concert. Commonly using the In the late 70s, 80s and 90s, there people talk about the wonderful goal of
isn’t as high as some other bands who’ve
East Village’s Filmore East as a reference were moments where economies of perhaps one day being able to have the
passed through Stony Brook, their pres-
point for the fifty mile radius, artists scale happened to work out. U2 and the stadium for a venue,” says Prusslin.
ence at the school (perhaps one of them
and bands would play Stony Brook Red Hot Chili Peppers both played gigs For reference, it’s been more than
was a part-time student) helped SUNY
shows to get themselves set before going at Stony Brook. “It was far and few in four months and counting since Nas
Stony Brook become the only non
into the city. between compared to the way it was performed at Stony Brook.
human inductee into the Long Island
Music Hall of Fame.
Stony Brook was inducted into the
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2006,
along with Billy Joel and three mem-
bers of KISS (sorry Ace, maybe if you
lived here). With Billy Joel tickets
costing $300 for his last concert at
Shea Stadium, it’s clear that the music
industry has changed since Stony
Brook was the Long Island concert
venue. Prusslin cites Woodstock as
one turning point, when business
minded rock fans realized they could
build a whole industry after happen-
ings at Woodstock, The Fillmore East
and SUNY Stony Brook.
The student population at Stony
Brook was also a very different ani-
mal back then. “It was a very homo-
geneous audience,” says Prusslin.
Since the mid 70s Stony Brook Uni-
versity has become more and more
diverse, but back then the majority of
students were Caucasian. While at the
time there were obviously great ef-
forts that strived to bring racial diver-
sity to institutes of higher education,
the reality was Stony Brook being
20

INSIDE THIS ISSUE:


Leftists And Freedom
Haters

Education For The Workers... Page 24


General Secretary of
The Central Committee
of the All-Union

Education For The Workers... Page 25


Communist Party of Bolsheviks
James Laudano

Education For The Workers... Page 26


Marshall of The Red Army
Emma Kobolakis
A Dirty Moslem
Najib Aminy

Education For The Workers... Page 27


Minister of the Worker’s Capital
Katie Knowlton
Ministers of Truth
Laura Cooper
Jake Conarck
Commissariat for Internal Affairs
Alex Nagler
Entertainment For The Workers
Andrew Fraley
Uranium Enrichment Specialist
Tia Mansouri
A Real Live Russian!
Previet, fellow oppressed workers! It is with great pleasure and honor that I welcome back The Com-
Roman Sheydvasser
Ministers for Re-Education rade. It’s been a few semesters since we last published this glorious, informative pamphlet, but we felt the
need had arisen once again. The dangerous plague of fascist and right-wing propaganda running rampant
Cindy Liu

throughout our motherland has forced our hand. We have a new staff here at The Comrade, which is filled
Chris Mellides
Kelly Yu
with many eager young Stalins, Molotovs and Maos ready to undermine the capitalist pigs and their running
dogs here at Stony Brook.
SMERSH
Chris Williams
I will keep this brief since we have a great deal of work ahead of us. Just remember this: when the
darkness of the current American free-market crisis seems too thick for you to navigate we shall be your
Future Chairman of the CCP
Iris Lin

shining Red light. Use us as your guide and remain vigilant! If you follow what you are about to read, the
fascist invaders and oppressors will find themselves in the gulags faster than you can say “Za Rodina!”
Our Mission: The goal of The
Comrade is to offer an alterna- Sincerely,
tive point of view to the stu- James Laudano
dents of Stony Brook University. General Secretary of The Party
It is a paper dedicated to rais-
ing awareness of student is-
sues on campus, and
leftist/Marxist issues throughout
the glorious workerʼs struggle
against their oppressors. While
we do, obviously, seek contro-
is page is dedicated to the
versy, The Comrade strives to
offer only opinions (read: facts)
grandfather of Communism:
and news (read: propaganda)
that will encourage the students
Karl Marx
of this campus to break free
from the shackles of free-mar-
ket society. We are dedicated to
building upon and fostering the
Karl is the founder of the com-
leftist and Marxist views that
are strong among so many of
muinist theory. His great works,
us, yet suppressed by the capi-
talist pigs and their running e Communist Manifesto and
dogs. But, ideology aside, all
our news will be bound to three Das Capital, inspire workers
standards: we will always be
opinionated, impulsive, and around the world to this very day.
crass.
ank you, Karl!
21

Elect Obama... If You Want A Capitalist Pig Leading Us!


state. If America wanted any sort of care system today would fail as it is a healthcare system. Senator Obama
By The Worlds Oldest Living Bolshevik working system of socialized medi- political issue, sure to be scrapped the proposes none of these things.
cine, they should have started it along moment a party change happens. It Senator Obama doesn’t care
with the countries they were paying to will take ages for anything to come to about the true heroes of socialism- the
Comrades, there has been workers. He is a filthy capitalist intent
much talk of Senator Obama being a on adjusting the tax system to fit the
leftist, of being the most liberal sena- needs of rich and poor. Capitalism
tor in the United States Senate. Sena- demands the rich get richer off the
tor McCain himself brought this backs of the poor, which is precisely
charge up in the first Presidential de- what any tax proposal states. This
bate. It is an oft-repeated charge, that mere fact disqualifies Senator Obama
Democratic Candidate Who Is Also from any socialist club.
A Senator X is a Socialist. This is sim- Senator Obama blindly par-
ply not true. As a Bolshevik, I know a rots the talking points of Israel in its
good deal about socialism. Barrack belief that the only way to be strong is
Obama is not a socialist. He is a filthy through massive military force, sub-
capitalist pig dabbling in progressive jugating the poor into lives of soldiers
politics. and expanding the fascist American
Americans are so quick to empire’s treasure trove. A true social-
deem anything that isn’t the fascist ist would call for the immediate
politik that they are normally used to scrapping of the American Military
as socialist. The fear of the “nanny and withdrawal from its posts
state” keeps conservatives awake at throughout the world.
night, knowing full well that were the Barack Obama is no socialist.
government to ever truly take charge He’s only dabbling in progressive pol-
and unite the workers, they’d be out itics, even if he may be one of the
of speaking gigs. most progressive candidates seen in
The candidate’s pathetic at- rebuild. The United Kingdom’s Na- pass. America must take over its hos- the field in a generation. And if his
tempts at “Universal Healthcare” tional Health Service turned sixty this pitals, pharmaceutical industries, and speeches are awesome.
would never pass in a true socialized year. Any feeble attempts at a health- medical schools if it wishes to have a

is page is dedicated to the


great leader of the Bolsheviks:
Vladimir I. Lenin

Vlad was the one who lead the great Bol-


shevik Revolution against the corrupt
Czars, who ruled our Motherland like the
capitalist pigs run the world today. His pre-
served body can still be found in Red
Square in Moscow, waiting for the day
when technology allows us to reanimate
him so he can lead us once more to vic-
tory!
22
Did You Know: Stony Brook Patriot Alexander Chamessian misspelled his own first name in the most recent issue of his publication. In addition, our intelligence
agents totally saw him at a gay pride parade. John Derbyshire would be proud!

If You Really Know Israel...


and physical protests to form around ing Israel marks it as a beacon of Israeli soldiers ended up as hostages.
By John Tucker his presence. These protestors, who democracy in the Middle East. I don’t know the exact number
usually rally against Ahmadinejad’s Israel is so into fairness that of hostages, but I do know there are
anti-Zionist views, have a right to the country’s supreme court even numerous Facebook groups that call
I’m going to live and work in voice their opinions. But if they ever questioned the legality of the West for their release. What I can tell you is
Israel next summer. As a Jew I ulti- were to prevent the president of Iran Bank Barrier. “In June 2004 the Court that the ratio of Israeli hostages to
mately plan on moving to Israel. from speaking, they would be just as ruled that a 30-km section of barrier Arab prisoners of war is skewed in Is-
You’re welcome. bad as the Concordia rioters. northwest of Jerusalem imposed rael’s favor. In 2007, as Zionists called
I’ve been exposed to Israel my All I am asking for is that undue hardship on Palestinians and for the release of two Israeli soldiers,
entire life. From catchy songs I sang in these Zionists admit that an Israeli like must be rerouted,” says a 2005 article there were hundreds of Arab prisoners
Hebrew school at age eight to my first in Israeli prisons.
trip to Israel in 2007, I’ve been taught Ehud Goldwasser and Elad
propaganda from one side of a con- Regev did not deserve to die as
tentious argument. hostages. God knows I’d rather be in
I am not implying that the an Israeli prison then a Hezbollah one.
pro-Israel propaganda is false. Organi- Israel is at war, and in war people get
zations such as The David Project em- hurt. From the best of my knowledge,
ploy highly versed professionals that I can say that Israel has never lost a
craft well researched arguments. Yes, war. It’s probably because if they did,
statistically the West Bank barrier has the Jewish State wouldn’t exist any-
greatly reduced the number of attacks more.
by Palestinian militants, but at the So you’re welcome. While you
same time, organizations like Elec- American Zionists have your delu-
tronic Intifada also employ and edu- sional view of what Israel is, next sum-
cated professionals who exercise their mer I’m going to be over there,
right to free speech and present their watching ultra orthodox Jews from
counterpoints. Jerusalem clash with bikini clad Is-
It was in 2003 that an incident Netanyahu, a member of the right- written by the BBC. raelis living in Tel Aviv. So much for
at Concordia University occurred; a wing Likud party, is a controversial In 60 years Israelis have built a unity in standing with Israel. On TV
group of pro-Israel students scheduled figure. But so many American Zionists nation that can afford to construct a I’ll watch members of the Labor party
Israeli politician Benjamin Netanyahu have such blind support of Israel that physical barrier around a territory the argue with Likud politicians over what
to speak at their university. In re- they neglect any sources of contention size of Delaware. Israel and its sup- to do with the West Bank. I’ll risk
sponse, pro-Palestinian students ri- within The Jewish State. porters can bear the expense of send- death by taking the bus to work. Many
oted. Riot police had to be called in One of the reasons why there ing every Jewish person between the people over there won’t like me. Per-
and there was property damage. The is no solution to the Israel-Palestine ages of 18 and 26 to Israel for ten days. haps I’ll be really controversial and
end result was that Netanyahu’s conflict is because of internal Israeli Yet American Zionists still claim Israel visit a West Bank settlement. But to
planned speech was cancelled. politics. I’ve been to Israel twice, and I as a victim. even it out, I’ll make sure I pee on a
Last week Mahmoud Ah- can say with confidence that Israeli cit- And rightfully so. Israeli civil- walled section of the West Bank Bar-
madinejad spoke in front of the UN izens don’t blindly support Israel. Is- ians have fell victim to rocket attacks, rier. Oh yeah, the author feels that
General Assembly and last year the raelis are educated voters living in a suicide bombings and wackjobs with both Obama and McCain are subordi-
Iranian politician spoke at Columbia democratic state. One of the many bulldozers. In response, Israel exer- nated into blindly supporting Israel.
University. Whenever Ahmadinejad true arguments I have been told favor- cised it’s right to defend itself. As a re-
comes to the US, it’s common for vocal sult of this ongoing war, a number of

is page is dedicated to


e Man of Steel:
Josef Stalin!

Don’t let the silly Americans fool you. It


was this great leader who truly defeated
Hitler. By capturing Berlin and half of
Europe, he set the stage for the Golden
Years of the Soviet Union. We salute
you, Man of Steel!
23
“A” “Communist” “Freshmen’s”
“Survival” “Guide” “to” “Stony” “Brook”
Stalin regime, demean the peace effort their toes. They’ll respect your mes- on this, so don’t bother with them
and ridicule Marxists for an entire lec- sage all the more.” cause they’re stupid.”
By “Andrew” “Fraley”
ture. “I have endured the drivel of an- “Location,” location, “location:” do “Don’t get angry.” “I’ll be frank, I
other guy who totally exists, named not, “under any circumstances, associ- fucking hate capitalists. They make me
Dave or something, ridicule” General ate with anyone who might disagree want to vomit all over their fancy
“Welcome to Stony Brook
Secretary Stalin “for denying a Soviet with you. Remember that universities clothes. I have a conniption every time
University.” “You are about to embark”
holocaust and saying that using a in America are a haven of capitalists I catch sight of the slimy shits. Don’t
on a long and “arduous journey”
flamethrower to put out a forest fire and free marketers. Where do you be like me. I’m brutally insane. Bask in
through the “social strata of this capi-
was like fighting fire with fire.” “The think those little bastards fled during your own self righteousness.” “Nothing
talist education system.” You “are” all
stories from my co-eds about the con- the Cold War? To academia and Holly- anybody says is going to change” the
equal, but some of you are “more”—
stant ridicule we Marxist fundamen- wood, of course! And to almost every- fact that you are more equal “than”
“or less”—equal “than” others. “Some
talists receive when they try to speak where else in America, and most of the everybody.
of you are stupid capitalist pig dogs.” If
their mind about a regime that fell world. Just don’t associate with any- Have fun “with” them. “The capi-
you “endure for the honor and glory of
nearly twenty years ago still remain in body who doesn’t profess himself a talists are guilty of everything, from
this” great Party, “overcome the trials
my enormous, superior mind.” lock-and-step Marxist.” petty theft to murder in the first. Al-
and tribulations of this stifling system
“You want to talk torture?” “Try “Surround yourself though it is hard not to explode in fits
in which you’ve been placed and make
listening to the philistines from jour- with the right folks: join the Oppres- of rage every time one of the bastards
the correct choices between hard work
nalism 101 bullshit about the purpose sive Marxist Orthodoxy. Hell, join The does something that disagrees with
and harder work, chances are you’ll be
of journalism. Watchdogs of the gov- Comrade, a sister organization of the your ideology.”
a successful party member, and a posi-
ernment?” “Independent?” “Objective? slightly less radical Press. I’d suggest “Try not to have rational dialogues
tive contribution to the” magnificent
These ass backwards capitalists have it using Facebook to find similar minded with them. Play passive aggressive
Soviet Union. “Some of you won’t,
all wrong, dammit!” “Journalism is peers, but we denounce Facebook as a mind games with them. Don’t argue or
simply because you’ll be too busy
here to be the mouthpiece of the gov- capitalist mind control device. Feel debate with them, just stew over
snorting cocaine and” oppressing the
ernment. If they’re not spreading free to befriend people of all political everything they say, and then write vit-
proletariat. “However, there is one
propaganda, manipulating informa- stripes, but only to gather vital infor- riolic opinion pieces about it in lack-
more large and important obstacle that
tion and ultimately controlling the mation on them. Remember, when the luster college publications. Just
you must deal with in your quest for
masses,” then journalists aren’t “doing revolution comes, they will be first remember, you are smart. Just keep
intellectual superiority. This is the ex-
their job properly.” “You know those against the wall.” saying it.”
treme, pervasive free market senti-
I’d Rather Be bumper sticker? Well, “Speak up in class.” Tell other pro- “Follow these rules as faithfully as
ment that permeates through every
when it comes to Journalism 101, I’d fessors and students that they’re you can, and you will be a great com-
pore of this beautiful campus.” “Wel-
rather be torturing some poor, inno- wrong. Lord your superiority over munist. The overwhelming capitalist
come to a fortified” “bastion of capital-
cent Moslem.” them, “because you are better than majority will try to persuade you that
ist thought, not-so-new freshmen.”
“How do you survive con- them”—more equal, rather. “Don’t money is good, and free market isn’t a
“As” a “senior, I have seen this
stantly being surrounded by people ever let those dumb fucks forget it.” viciously oppressive system. They’ll
awful oppressive ideology that runs
who are less equal than you are? Be- “Treat your time here like you are throw around words like Tolerance,
through the very fibers of this institu-
sides flaunting your smug self satisfac- at war. That’s what I do. Make it into a Dialogue, Freedom, Awareness, Ra-
tion. Hell, through the very core of
tion” “over them, here are a few war game. Run around pretending to tionality and all that other double-
this damn country! I have had to deal
strategies to remember during your throw Molotov Cocktails into the faces speak for Anti-Marxist thought.”
with the entrepreneurial commentary
time in this capitalist stink hole:” of every capitalist pig dog you meet. Ever since that bastard “Ronald”
of these mindless capitalist professors,
Have crappy “layout.” “If it looks And, for the sake of every word that I “Reagan” single handedly “destroyed”
who day in and day out condemn the”
shitty on print, it’s bound to get the at- am about to misuse (like cleanly), communism in the “‘80s,” capitalism
Marxists, Bolsheviks “and anyone who
tention of people who would other- avoid the Enduring Freedom Alliance has been on the “rise throughout the
believes different than they, and the
wise pay your message no mind.” and their associates. They’re rich and world.” We are with you in our never-
other Reaganite faculty, do.” I have lis-
“Don’t justify text, have stupid looking white and I assume they’re probably ending struggle to bring down this
tened to “Professor” “Hang” “Air-
lists and print inconsistently as well. assholes or something. They’re also corrupt system. Stand strong. Never
cornor” in his Making Money and
This way, you keep your readership on wrong about everything, just trust me give in.
Oppressing the Masses class bash the

is page is dedicated to


e Chariman:
Mao Zedong

Chairman Mao is the father of Commu-


nism in China. By winning the Civil War
in the 1940’s, he ensured that the Com-
munism will sit atop the world soon when
China takes its place as the most powerful
nation in the world!
Никогда не
We have a joke for you:

забывайте
Man 1: Knock knock
Man 2: Who’s there?
Man 1: September 11th
Man 2: September 11th who?
Man 1: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU’D
NEVER FORGET!?!?

We always see the bumper stickers saying “9/11: Never For-


get!” Well, we think it’s a safe bet that anyone who lived through
that fateful Tuesday would never actually forget the momentous
events that occurred, so you can all knock it off with that crap.
However, that’s now the point we want to make here. What we
really want to do is take this time to remember some of the other
major moments in our great Motherland’s history! No more of this
capitalist pig, American nonsense.
We remember the Battle of Stalingrad, when our glorious
forces beat back the Fascist invaders in the biggest battle in all of
mankind’s history. We remember the Siege of Leningrad, when
millions of our citizens starved to death in the name of the
worker’s greater struggle! We remember the launching of Sputnik
and the look on American President Eisenhower’s face as he
crapped his pants after hearing the news.
Since it is now October, we remember the Glorious October
Revolution of 1917 when our forces struck a blow for workers
worldwide and overthrew the oppressive Czars! Finally, on a more
somber note, we remember Ethel Rosenberg, whose birthday just
passed on September 28. It was her and Julius Rosenberg who lev-
eled the playing field by giving our great leader Stalin the atomic
bomb information from the capitalists in the USA. She was un-
justly executed shortly after. Rest in peace, Ethel. We will never
forget!
The Stony Brook Press Arts & Entertainment 25
arts&entertainment
My Bloody Valentine: Live, 9/22/08
Courbe, was interesting, but I didn’t fan, because you’ll probably just
By Steve McLinden particularly enjoy them. The singer, creep him out.) Unfortunately, it
Charlotte Marionneau, had a certain was not a Dinosaur Jr song that
uniquely insecure-sounding voice that he joined them for, just some
Thank God that My Bloody Valen- I think was supposed to add to the Middle-Eastern-influenced eight-
tine is back, in whatever form we could freak-folk element. She is a French ex- minute jam with lots and lots of
get them. Troubled by the fact that he patriate in London, and rumored on the flute.
could never write an album as great as Internet to be Kevin Shields’ girlfriend. Shortly after ten o’clock, My
1991’s shoegaze masterpiece, Loveless, (Well, thank you, spoils system.) The Bloody Valentine came to the
Kevin Shields has said he went crazy acoustic guitarist played his depressing stage. I took my earplugs out at
writing new material in the mid-‘90s. minor chords adequately, and I think this point because I’m so hard-
Shields says he “went crazy,” the band the violinist who doubled on xylophone core. There were stations all
broke up, and while the members (a xylophone that they had the techni- around the entrance to the venue
moved on to collaborate with other rock cians spend ten minutes setting up just with boxes of free earplugs and
artists, the future seemed hopeless for a perfectly) turned out to be a little un- signs like, “YOU WILL NEED
decade or so. That is, until 2007, when necessary. THESE,” or “MBV RECOMMED
Shields began saying things like he was Following that half-hour set, we [sic] USING EARPLUGS.” In
personally remastering the bands two were treated to a set by The Wounded the early ‘90s, they had a reputa-
full-length albums, that they would be Knees, which is coincidentally fronted tion for turning their monitors
playing live shows, and that there would by Kevin Shields’ brother Jimi. We away from themselves, just to
definitely be a new album someday. For could tell of his relation to Kevin by the blast out the eardrums of the
kids like me, who would’ve been more way he complained to the sound guys crowd even more. While we did-
likely to be seen in kindergarten before about the levels in a monitor after every n’t get any of that these days, they
I was in an all-ages show back in the single song. They would’ve been more were still pretty damn loud. My This, actually, has nothing to do with the band
band’s heyday, My Bloody Valentine’s enjoyable if not for the focus on the Bloody Valentine always had a
stop in New York for two shows on Sep- flutist—yes, a girl playing an amplified reputation for not varying up
tember 22 and 23 were dreams come flute was made central to most of the their setlist, and what we got was almost sounded like a rocket launch, and I fig-
true. band’s songs. At the end of the show, J exactly the same as what they played ured that I should put my earplugs in if
After curating the All Tomorrow’s Mascis of Dinosaur Jr came out with when opening the reunion tour in Glas- I wanted the ringing to go away before
Parties festival upstate in Monticello on electric guitar to join them. Much of gow in June or at either of the other the end of September. Looking around,
the weekend prior, a three-day-long the crowd had no idea who he was, and shows in the state of New York. It was about a quarter of the crowd was forc-
odyssey of really loud rock music fea- it doesn’t help that he is the most unso- mostly a mix of their more powerful ing their fingers into their ears to drive
turing the likes of Built to Spill, Mog- ciable man in rock and roll, but to be tracks from Loveless, Isn’t Anything, and the earplugs deeper, while another
wai, Trail of Dead and plenty more that fair, J Mascis is a man who needs no in- the You Made Me Realise EP; there are quarter raised their hands like thrill
would take up too much of this page to troduction. If you ever see an aging no deep tracks from their earlier more seekers on a roller coaster or worship-
list, My Bloody Valentine headed down- man these days with near-white hair al- goth-sounding recordings. Opening pers at the altar of wall of sound. By the
state to play at Roseland Ballroom in most to his waist wearing an Adidas with “I Only Said” into “When You end, even Kevin Shields had had
midtown Manhattan for these two track jacket and an electric guitar hang- Sleep” was no doubt the only choice that enough, warning drummer Colm Ó
nights, the first of which I attended. ing from his shoulder, it’s probably J. could be made. Cíosóig to stop playing already. The
The first opener, Le Volume (But don’t bother telling him you’re a The vocals could’ve been louder band went into the last verse of “You
(but then again, people say that about Made Me Realise” which most of us
Loveless), but guitarist/female vocalist probably couldn’t recognize after hav-
Bilinda Butcher’s voice sounded as ing our ears beat up, and shortly there-
dreamily wonderful as it did almost after, they waved goodbye and left the
twenty years ago. The greatest sight of stage to return without an encore.
the night was the way that bassist Deb- Any false hopes of them previewing
bie Googe fought like the bass was a a new song were dashed. In the week to
beast to be tamed. follow these New York shows, My
After an hour or so, I began to say Bloody Valentine wrapped up their
to myself, “I’ve been to louder shows dates in North America and the tour,
than this. I’ve leaned on guitar monitors for now. The remaster of Isn’t Anything,
at noise rock shows. I’ll only have tinni- the band’s first album was scheduled for
th
tus for a couple of days.” Seeing as there release on September 29 , and from
was a disappointing barricade to keep what I heard of it, it did not consist of
us no less than twenty feet from the blasphemous alterations like many fans
stage and the crowd had gotten their feared. Reportedly, the Loveless remas-
even earlier than I, distance had to do a ter is being held up by Kevin’s rewriting
little bit to save my hearing. of the liner notes. Both albums had
That is, until “You Made Me Re- been scheduled for a June release to pre-
alise” descended into the heaviest cede all of this touring. With any luck,
twenty-minute sound vacuum I had we will be getting a new My Bloody
ever heard. At first, it felt like we were Valentine album within a couple of
This, however, is the band. My bloody something or other.
on board a rocket launch; a feeling so years, the band will tour again, and they
out-of-this-world. After about three or will get a chance to abuse my eardrums
four minutes, I realized that it only once more.
26 Arts & Entertainment Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Bayside’s Shudder
His drum prowess is evident on
By Vincent Barone tracks like “Howard” and “Have Fun
Storming the Castle” where he plays
unique beats that complement the
Long Island’s own pop punk band guitar work.
Bayside is set to release their fourth full As much as I miss the angst and
length album, Shudder on September power from former Bayside CDs, I
30. The CD opens powerfully with the have to admit that Shudder is still a
track “Boy”, which, unfortunately, is one solid effort from the group. From
of the hardest-hitting songs on the tracks one to twelve, there are no
album. Shudder is filled with morbidly fillers. Each song is as good as the
well-written lyrics that longtime fans last. Anthony Raneri’s vocals have al-
are familiar with, but it lacks the inten- ways been the biggest key to the
sity of the band’s prior works. The band’s success. He has displayed his
somber words are hidden under catchy songwriting expertise by perfectly
hooks that send out a more upbeat, blending despair and optimism. His
“poppier” vibe that dulls the sharp tone songs usually deal with a battle with
of previous recordings. They will un- heartbreak or uncertainty and how
questionably attract many new fans, but he perseveres.
could leave a bitter taste in the mouths They might have steered a little
of fans from the band’s early days. from their roots, but there are still a
As far as instrumentals go, this is few tracks that remind me of their
What kind of doofus wears a keffiyeh with a short sleeved shirt?
the band’s most talented effort yet. Lead early work. My favorite ones include;
guitarist Jack O’Shea doesn’t let his “Boy”, “The Ghost of Saint Valen-
band’s genre stifle his guitar expertise tine”, and “Roshambo.” If you are new
and has done his best playing on Shud- and “Roshambo.” His guitar tracks, Drummer Chris Guglielmo has to Bayide and are a fan of Alkaline Trio,
der. O’Shea has done a great job playing mixed with singer Anthony Raneri’s done another great job in his sopho- From First to Last, and Silverstein, you
over the rhythm, making it impossible unique vocal styling sets Bayside apart more effort replacing former drummer, will be in for a treat. Shudder is in Stores
for songs to grow boring. Besides his from the other generic pop punk bands John “Beatz” Holohan. Chris had big September 30th.
creative licks, Jack laid down some seri- and is a breath of fresh air in a ridicu- shoes to fill and he continues his great
ous soloing on tracks like “A Call To lously watered down, monotonous job by taking John’s style of playing and
Arms”, “Have Fun Storming The Castle”, genre. tweaking it to make the beats his own.
The Stony Brook Press 27
arts&entertainment
Metallica – Death Magnetic
those wondering, are really compli- on the fourth song and first single “The The last song, titled “My Apoca-
By Aamer Qureshi cated. The jarringly superb guitar riffs, Day That Never Comes.” True to their lypse,” is such a classically Metallica way
courtesy of mastermind James Hetfield, format, it’s a ballad placed fourth in the to end an album that it makes you
invigorate the songs with the punch that track listing and echoes their classics smile. While most bands would have
Anyone will tell you that Metallica’s Metallica were known for. The album “One” and “Fade To Black,” maybe even their saddest and most melodious song
grand trilogy of thrash-metal albums in opener, “That Was Just Your Life,” be- a bit too much. But stands up as a damn as the album closer – Metallica pile it on
the 80’s were their best ever. These were gins with a heartbeat ala Pink Floyd’s good song regardless. with a seedy and heavy thrasher. The
1984’s Ride The Lightning, 1986’s Mas- Dark Side of the Moon and moves into a When addressing lyrics, Hetfield’s shortest song on the album (clocking in
ter of Puppets and 1988’s …And Justice harmonized clean guitar intro. This was abstract and disjointed take on this at 5:01) recalls everything from their
For All. Everything starting with their a point of excitement for me, as it indi- album is at times quite hilarious. A line early days to Slayer, as Hetfield sounds a
1991 self-titled album, and most suc- cated a return to Metallica’s seminal repeated in “Broken, Beat and Scarred” lot like Araya in his vocals.
cessful release, is a subject of much de- album format. The first song from the a lot is, “What don’t kill ya make ya A real return to form and an im-
bate. As far as their image goes, taking classic trilogy begins with clean and more strong” - sure to become an in- mensely enjoyable listen, Death Mag-
on Napster in the early 2000’s made harmonized guitars. And, in staying joke with any Metallica fan. However, as netic successfully captures what
them one of the most hated bands true to their legacy, the song launches odd as the lyrics may sound, the music Metallica and Rubin wanted for the re-
around. Their previous album was lam- into ferociousness and then into solo. makes up for them. The eastern-tinged lease. However, it has some major flaws.
basted by nearly everyone who and mid-tempo “Cyanide” follows The production on the album is brick
heard for, simply put, crappy pro- the rage-filled “All Nightmare Long,” walled to the point where it clips. As an
duction and songs which milked a which is silly only in title. audiophile, I was lamenting the lack of
riff for eight odd minutes. Most ag- “The Unforgiven III,” a sequel to dynamics in the songs until I came
gravating of all, the lead guitarist two of Metallica’s most celebrated across an ironic discovery. Before send-
was chained up and there wasn’t a ballads from the 90’s, was a complete ing the album to their mixing and mas-
single guitar solo on the album. surprise. While the first two shared tering department, who royally fucked
Five years after St. Anger, some music and lyrics to create a it up – they sent the unedited master
Metallica is a band invigorated from story, this one did away with it all. At tapes to Guitar Hero headquarters. The
mended personal ties and years of first I was disappointed, not under- creators of the massively popular video
touring. Anyone who’s been keep- standing how it worked in the grand game created their own superior mix of
ing up with their set lists in recent scheme of a possible song trilogy. the album, which is now one of the
years will see an almost complete After some listens though, you can most downloaded items on the Internet.
eviction of new material and a re- appreciate how it stands on its own When you see me with my iPod, it’s this
turn to playing their classics - com- as a really good ballad – the final one mix that I’m listening to with a clear
plex material with time changes and on Death Magnetic. conscience, as I’ve bought the album it-
played in their entirety. It was in this Nothing could have pre- self.
spirit, of embracing what made pared me for the next song, titled Labeled by Metallica as the album
Metallica so incredible in their an- “The Judas Kiss.” A sing-song cho- which belongs in between 1988’s Justice
gered youth, that producer Rick rus, bended main riff and an incred- and their 1991 self-titled album, Death
Rubin advised them to try to create ibly sinister solo make this one of the Magnetic has some of their most intri-
a sequel to Master of Puppets. high points of the album for sure. It’s cate songwriting ever. The simplicity
Of course, Metallica were dif- a song that will definitely be a live fa- since 1991 is gone, to be replaced by nu-
ferent people back then. Dubbed vorite and, to put it simply, gets in merous time changes and breathtak-
“Alcoholica” by the mainstream your head and stays there. ingly complicated solos.
media for their hard partying Now, the highly awaited sec- Just ask anyone who plays Guitar
lifestyle, they released a set of albums so It’s hard to think of a better way to begin ond to last song is the instrumental, ti- Hero about this last detail. Who plays
brilliant and soul-crushingly angry, that the album. tled “Suicide and Redemption.” This an actual guitar anymore? However, the
it’s hard not to yearn for the old days to The next two songs continue song truly marks a return of Metallica retail version has the bass turned down
return. Sadly, any realist will tell you Metallica’s sonic assault on the senses to their music-intensive old days. The – so it is indeed a sequel to ‘Justice.’ This
that this just cannot happen. With an with powerful and merciless riffing. It listener is attacked with riff after riff, isn’t a problem if you have the Guitar
average age of 45, Metallica are now is at this point that I must curse every which segues into a slower and softer Hero version but it’s quite annoying, as
family men and have spent over ten human being’s biological clock. Al- middle section. Each melody on this Rob Trujillo’s a supremely talented
years recreating their sound and be- though they retain the stamina to play song sounds highly emotional in nature bassist.
coming more of a hard rock group. So extremely fast and intricate riffs, Het- and seems to signify a feeling of mood So, difficult riffs, solos drenched in
for them to try to return to their roots field’s much-celebrated old growling changes. It goes from angry, to sad, to Hammett’s fetish (the wah-wah pedal),
on Death Magnetic is a staggering pro- and roaring vocals have gone away – triumphant, to eerie and ultimately re- Lars’ simple (very simple) but visceral
posal, but not surprising from a pro- never to return. It is in realizing this and turns back to the original riff. Fans who drumming and Hetfield’s vocals make
ducer known to push bands into doing moving on that one can truly appreci- missed the lack of a customary instru- this a true Metallica release. I give it
what they do best. ate the effort he puts in and makes do mental since 1991’s self-titled album four out of five stars.
The songs on Death Magnetic, for with what he has. This is shown clearly will rejoice.
28 Arts & Entertainment Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Mega Man 9: Throwbacks & “Fuck You”


this generation of high-definition gam- ing platform, and read bosses’
By Kevin Vong ing. Old-school graphics and sound patterns. There’s hardly any
bites in this day and age? You betcha. It room for error. Sounds unfair? It
is certainly not a glossy-looking action is, but it’s not the game’s fault
Capcom released Mega Man 9 this game like “Devil May Cry” or “Ninja when the Blue Bomber dies…
week on all current generation consoles Gaiden.” it’s all you.
and brought back some 8-bit flavor in In this installment of the series, the It’s hard to believe this game
evil Dr. Wily frames Dr. Light, was made this year. The game
creator of Mega Man, for cor- looks and feels like a NES game.
rupting robots and it is up to I was playing it on my HDTV
the Blue Bomber to free Light through HDMI source with 16:9
and put an end to Wily’s resolution… it doesn’t even sup-
schemes. port 16:9 and converts to 4:3 res-
olution. It even added the
Like every other Mega Man feature of making the screen
game, you’ll have to go flicker to enhance the old-school
through difficult stages and feel. The controls are simple: move back cessible experience like most action
destroy robot masters to beat and forth, jump, and shoot. Some of the games in this high-definition genera-
the game. The question is old-school programming is still at work, tion. This game encourages masochism
“How hard can it be?” Well, such as having only three enemies ap- from the minute you start to the minute
you’ll have to perform pixel- pear on the screen at one time. you finish. Oh, the nostalgia of the re-
perfect jumps, dodge multiple Why is Mega Man 9 significant? It tardedly-hard 8-bit era.
enemies and projectiles, avoid doesn’t hold people’s hands and guide
pits and spikes aboard a mov- them through the game to bring an ac-

Next On The List To Schindler’s List


chooses the much less moral, ambiva- Bounced from camp to camp, Sally ing as Sally himself; proclaimed by the
By Jie Jenny Zou lent Salomon “Sally” Sorowitsch as the soars to the top of ‘Holocaust prisoners film as history’s largest scale counterfeit
main character. Played with under- that sell their souls’ when he utilizes his ring, it is said to have produced nearly
stated brilliance by Austrian actor Karl art skills to paint flattering portraits of $100 million for the Nazis. Tensions
Nestled between the Wang Center Markovics, Sally is the kind of guy that Nazi soldiers and their families as well flare among the prisoners of the opera-
and the Melville Library lies Stony thinks the best way to earn money is to, as Nazi-endorsing murals on camp tion who battle with the self-realization
Brook’s very own Staller Center. Unbe- literally, make it. A master counterfeiter buildings. In a stroke of irony, Sally of their privileged positions as well as
knownst to many students is the fact and businessman, Sally is a hedonist finds himself in an unlikely position their fundamental role in continuing
that for twenty dollars, one can pur- with an obscure past who momentarily when he is put in charge of a secret cur- the Nazi’s reign of terror.
chase a season pass to view their weekly There are some truly heart-break-
Friday offerings. Aside from their ultra- ing moments in this film but the excel-
dark theaters (I mean can’t-see-the- lent pacing does well to not linger on
stranger-sitting-next-to-you-damn-this any particular scene for too long. It’s not
-place-is-darrrrk kind of dark), cinema much of a shocker-type movie; you
buffs will also enjoy their diverse array don’t necessarily watch to see what hap-
of indie films from “Flight of the Red pens to Sally, but rather what he does.
Balloon” to last spring’s “My Father, My His character, filled with flaws and a
Lord” — all showcased on generously sardonic sense of humor, is what makes
sized (this means rather large) screens. this film more humanizing and inter-
Be forewarned though, Staller caters to esting to watch than other Holocaust
a much older crowd, so I hope you films. Great supporting roles all around,
like/can endure the smell of Bengay. especially with Sally’s surrogate son
For this particular night, I arrived character, Kolya, (Sebastian Urzen-
at the packed theater for a 7 pm curtain dowsky) and the antagonistic Adolf
of Die Falscher or, for those of you un- Burger (August Diehl). With it’s grainy
familiar with German, The Counter- film, minimal color saturation, and
feiter(s). Yes, German. This is one of “400 Blows”-esque beach shots, it’s easy
those “reading” films. Written and di- escapes internment from the Nazis by rency counterfeiting operation by none to get entranced in this beautiful and
rected by Stefan Ruzowitzky, The Coun- falsifying passports. He is able to lend other than top Nazi, Friedrich Herzog. poetic piece. It’s also no surprise that
terfeiters is based on a memoir of the his special skills for others willing to pay In an act of ‘Nazi altruism’ Herzog this film took top honors in the Foreign
same name by Adolf Burger, a Jewish a price. thanks Sally for the promotion he re- Film category at last year’s Oscars for
Slovak interned in the currency coun- Eventually, he finds himself ar- ceived as a result of handing over Ger- Best Foreign Language Film. That being
terfeiting campaign during the Holo- rested and interned at the hands of po- many’s “King of Forgers” (think Nazi said, put on your reading glasses and go
caust. The film version, however, lice officer Friedrich Herzog who from “The Pianist”). The currency op- watch this film. This is one film that
forgoes focusing on the Resistance- reveals and breaks his forgery ring. eration is as controversial and polariz- even subtitles can’t kill.
touting Adolf Burger and instead
The Stony Brook Press 29
30 Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The Poet’s Gallery Joyride of the sky doesn’t care how tall
Phantom Walls By Alana S. you are,
Untitled
By Samantha Monteleone Because you’ll never reach its
By Samantha
Let’s drive down to the vast pink- vast count of melodies and
Monteleone
Hypothetically speaking, I’m watching and-blue upstairs paintings of praise…
you Where everyone seems to think My travels have taught me the
soft, cool
Watching them about but no one seems to want Universe and Beyond,
sheep’s wool.
to go And by Beyond I mean too little
shroud me whole. Watch other people’s lives
In which they’ll never exist Let’s drive backwards and see that I am behind in my knowledge
tense, new
Contribute, distribute, insult OR re- where I stomach-ache mistakes, of how significantly small the
mourn dew.
volt Where the director of my docu- Universe is.
dark as coal.
It’s just a box mentary continually replays and Driving only takes me too far
light show
What’s more interesting is how they rewinds, from identity crisis’s,
rainbow.
watch it And I watch myself slide towards Of belonging to 2 people in the
lie with me.
Through your eyes I can see the wrong direction. same day,
weak smile
It’s reflecting soft and sarcastically Each and every time I twinge. Of a flashback of a haunted
sundial.
They feed off of each other Forget you, forget you, drive house, too dark and forgiving
let us be.
Feeding off the false away into for a
The amplified plastic stings Spurts of pleasant dusty nail- Jaded girl like me to be startled,
Through my phantom walls. biting stretches of blank pave- because my mind changes with
It was almost as if they could touch me ment, the
Watching them through your mirror Yes, every footstep is another Polluted orange sunset on a
The reflection ripples and fades memory spotless and clean. horizon I never meant to choose.
As your smile turns to interest Yes, my heartbeat is not to be I am driving through my own
Ingest, digest. trusted as it goes with the flow headache’s memories
I can’t believe it, is my seeker sold? of things, Some things should just wait for
I can feel my skin growing old While my unplanned blinking November to come…
I don’t like this station much eyes take in as much honesty as Let’s wish and hope and dream
I do think I’ll retire possible, of next month’s dismay
I change the channel And oh! how I hate the wind in And drive when even the sunset
And can’t believe I’m inspired. my hair. can’t cast a shadow on my re-
Accept and forget, and the pink grets…
The Stony Brook Press 31

Submit Your Comics


or Poems To:
sbpressnews@gmail.com

Go For It, Man!


I’m so depressed, I don’t know what to do...

Black to move, kill Whitey!


Go Club meets every Tuesday and
Thursday at 7pm in the Library
Commuter Lounge

I know FDR, and you’re no FDR By Andrew Fraley


32 Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008

opinion
Ask a Lesbian By Ilyssa Fuchs
Dear Ilyssa, couples. Furthermore, Nader opposes under the law regardless of their sexual should vote for Obama rather than Mc-
a constitutional amendment to ban orientation and says that, “the only way Cain, or just vote for Nader himself.
After reading your article last week same-sex marriage and same-sex to ensure full equal rights is to recog- Hope that clears things up.
on Obama and McCain’s policies to- unions and believes that same-sex nize same-sex marriage.” I personally
wards gays and lesbians I was surprised unions are a step in the right direction, believe that Nader’s policies regarding Sincerely,
to see that you never mentioned Ralph but are only a starting point because the gay and lesbian community are pos-
Nader as a candidate or any of his poli- Ilyssa Fuchs
they do not actually afford same-sex itive, but as we all know it is highly un-
cies toward the gay community. As a couples all the rights that marriage likely that a third party candidate will (Special thanks to www.votenader.org
gay independent who is still unsure does. Moreover, Nader believes that be elected. It is in my opinion that any- for the information obtained for this ar-
about whom I am voting for, I would everyone should have equal protection one who believes in Nader’s policies ticle)
appreciate if you could discuss his poli-
cies so I have a full picture of the
policies of all three candidates.
Thanks so much.

Sincerely,
Still Straddling the Fence

Dear Still Straddling,

I appreciate your concern


that I did not look at all the can-
didate’s policies. I agree with
you that in order to give voters
the full picture of all the candi-
dates, one must start by includ-
ing all the candidates and their
policies regarding all issues, but
in this case issues that directly
affect the gay community. After
doing a little research I am now
able to provide you with the facts
behind Nader’s policies. Nader,
like Obama, supports equal
rights for gays and lesbians as
Nader confesses his sad panda love for the gay community to his parrot, Cardozo
well as equal rights for same-sex

Aike-y Breaky Heart


hid it or couldn’t hide it..” is wrong, and as a Christian I believe
By Anthony Murisco Since 2003, the year of his Idol that. We can't just follow the parts of the
debut, with his strong and powerful Bible that we want or that are conven-
voice and upliing tunes, he became a ient to us, or we are not Christians. And
Tuesday, September 23, 2008, is a spokesman for Christianity. He even ap- he says he's a Christian. Too bad, I was
day when many dreams were shattered. peared in Christian Music Planet as the supporting him since 2003."
In a cover story for People magazine, “American Idol Christian”. Fans, usually Some have gone as far as decoding
American Idol Season 2 runner-up Clay women, gravitated to his “aw-shucks”, his previous antics, such as user Hav-
Aiken announced that he was a homo- old-fashioned boy personality, and inaClayAffair who began to question
sexual. adopted the nickname “Claymates”. men who have been in and out of Clay’s
Aer years of insults by Kathy ese fans were always the first to de- life throughout his career, “Where did
Griffin, rumors, tabloid exposes (in- fend Aiken when he came under attack. his best bud and high school friend take
cluding an online sex scandal with a Having never spoken publicly off to. We heard an explanation of some
former US Marine) Clay finally felt that about this, the message boards over at sort. I remember reading it… he just
now, with the birth of his baby son with Claymaniacs.com were divided. To sort of worked for Clay- then disap-
his best friend, music producer Jaymes some, Clay is still the same old Clay; peared...”
Foster, it was time to break the silence. user GWENN, a woman with an avatar What effect will this have on the
Born in North Carolina and raised of her and her ideal man had this to say, mold created by Clay? As one fan, user
Southern Baptist, Clay always shied “Gay – So what? e man is drop dead WilsonClaymate on the Claymaniacs
away from speculation on his sexuality. gorgeous.” forum puts it, “I love Clay Aiken un-
As per the Baptist beliefs, homosexuals Others debate how he could claim conditionally and I’m here for the long
are condemned; in the People issue Clay to be a Christian and a homosexual. hall.”
And I came out of the closet...
goes on to say in his hometown when User Diane on AikenForums.com puts
you realized you were gay “you either it, “sorry, the Bible says homosexuality
The Stony Brook Press Opinion 33

An Old Racist Remembers Coney Island...


By Ross Barkan his truck of shit in the nearest out-
house. Good times. Lemme tell you,
and if you couldn’t shit, Coney Island
Holy shit, I’m old and angry. You had this great enema booth for a nickel.
have no fucking idea. What? Cooney A nickel! at was just aer the Great
what? Shut the fuck up, Jeremy, I don’t War when the people were friendly and
want any ice cream. Fuck. Lemme tell you could get a tube shoved up your ass
you young shitdicks something. If I with a smile. Jeremy, by the way, I’m
ever catch you goddamn ice wagon- gonna need another enema in an hour,
asses on my fucking lawn I swear to so quit playing with your dick and
God I will get the fuck off my Hover- come take off my pants.
around and smack the shit out of you In my day, Coney Island was a
with my ox cane. I fucking will, don’t man’s park. Not this rinky-dinky,
press me. What, Jeremy, Islands? Yeah namby-pampy, sissy-wissy, lollipop-
there should be a place to put the fucking amusement shithole they
blacks. Stealing my damn medicine. closed down a few weeks ago. No!
Oh, Coney Island! Thanks, ere were wooden horses and real cot-
limpdick, next time, don’t whisper like ton candy. You young assrabbits ever
a shit-eating little girl. Get a paper cone ate fucking cotton with sugar? Grab a
and yell that garbage. Yeah, I got mem- piece of cotton from your night shirt
ories. Fuck, I lost my virginity on the
Look at all those darkies
and just chew? Hell no, too busy with
Cyclone back in ’19. Some hot fucking your Ebays and your musicmaphones
broad she was, I think I was twelve at and whatever the fuck else that ass-
the time, and I Jack Dempsey-ed her clown Herbert Hoover shits down your grandmother underneath the board- took me to see a moving picture. It was
walk. I nearly soiled my diapers just all colors and flying shit and shapes and
now thinking ‘bout that. I remember other random horeseball malarkey that
the time Yankee center fielder Earle I couldn’t follow if I was Kaiser Wil-
Combs came down to Coney Island. He helm shitting rainbow colored goats.
was my favorite because he really hated Which reminds me, there were a few
the blacks. ose were the days. ey smelly Krauts in the front row and I
had Coney Island for the whites and told Jeremy to fetch me my liberty cab-
Black Coney Island for them jangling, bage gun so I could blow those goat
corncob good-for-nothin’…fuck I for- fuckers back to hell. Jeremy, who a
got where I was going with this again. woman wouldn’t fuck with a fishing
Jeremy, I need a fucking towel. No, shit- pole, ignored me.
for-tits, the yellow goddamn towel with Someday when they kick those
the thick lining I sprung another leak. whitish Cubans out of the Major
Goddamn that Hoover. Leagues and the horseless carriage
Yes, them were the days when breaks the impossible 30 mile per hour
women and the minorities weren’t sass- barrier, I hope to get the hell back to
ing about this and that. Just good angry Coney Island. ere were some good
Good times.
white motherfuckers like me and times there. Beating up darkies, fuck-
enema booths, enema booths as far as ing broads, beating up darkies, moving
the eye could see! ey had the moving pictures, darkies again, enemas…ah it
ass into the ground. ose were the pants. Alfred Smith will be the next pictures at Coney Island too. For a makes an old man want to cry. If only
days. Back then, there weren’t any sissy president of the United States if my damn nickel you could see Chaplin and they didn’t surgically remove my eyes
politically correct fuckhead hippies name ain’t…fuck I can’t remember. a kangaroo give Orson Wells a reach last Christmas. ose were the days.
with all their “rules.” A man could get a Back in the 20’s people swam in around. Moving pictures today are for Now get the fuck over to my Hov-
good under-aged fuck on the Cyclone. fucking real bathing suits. If rubber one shit, I tell you. Last week Jeremy, my eraround Jeremy it’s a god damn shit-
If his bowels were loose, like mine are pieces didn’t get the ladies wet, nothing good-for-nothing-except-for-maybe- storm in my trousers.

BIG TIME LETTERS


every goddamn hour, he could dump would. I fucked Marilyn Monroe’s sweeping-my-skin flakes grandson

MAKE BIG TIME PLAYS


IN BIG TIME SITUATIONS!
34 Sports Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Hofstra Beats SBU... By A Lot... Again


their eleven possessions throughout the DB Leslie Jackman. This loss brings SBU’s record to 1-4
By Matt Braunstein course of the game, a field goal in the Snapping the ball was also a problem, this season. However, all hope is not lost
first half. The other ten times they perhaps caused by the light rain that as the team still has not faced any of
punted, gave up possession on downs or persisted throughout the game. Both on their conference opponents in the
On Friday, September 27, the Stony simply turned the ball over. In total, the special teams and in the shotgun for- newly joined Big South division. The
Brook men’s football team charged onto Seawolves offense amassed 72 rushing mation, the ball was launched over the Seawolves also have an extra week of
their home field with intensity and de- yards, 139 passing yards, and no touch- QB or punter’s head more than once, practice to regroup and prepare for a
termination. It was a cold and misty downs. It should be noted also that Hof- and resulted in a loss of yards and con- game at Liberty University on Oct. 11.
night, and as usual their stadium was stra did have male cheerleaders on the tinued frustration. The team this year is not untalented
not nearly filled to capacity, but this did by any means. Though QB Hoffman is
not deter them. This was quite possibly in his first year, he seems to have a grasp
the biggest game of their season; a tele- on the offense and shows poise in the
vised clash with our rival, the Hofstra pocket. RB Cuttino is as fast and hard-
Pride. hitting as ever, and now has a nice com-
The Seawolves received the open- plement in freshman RB Edwin
ing kickoff and proceeded to march Gowins. Reliable senior WR Lynell
down the field under the leadership of Suggs was out with an injury for most
freshman QB Dayne Hoffman and of the game, but the team’s number two
helped by some excellent running from receiving threat, Eley, played well de-
junior RB Conte Cuttino. The offense spite his early touchdown drop. He is a
shook off two penalties along the open- small, shifty receiver in the mold of the
ing drive, and on a third and long Hoff- Panther’s Steve Smith, and has excellent
man dropped back, pump faked, looked hands.
off his receivers, and threw a tight beau- The offensive line remains as the
tiful spiral to senior receiver Dwayne team’s biggest strength, as they gave up
Eley in the end zone. The ball touched no sacks to Hofstra and continue to do
Eley’s hands, the crowd erupted in cele- work in the trenches. They are a bulky
bration, and then he dropped the touch- and powerful squad anchored on the
down pass. From that point on the left side by senior LT and team captain
game went downhill, and Seawolves Lawrence Lovell and massive senior LG
went up shit creek. Steve Council. The run defense is solid
Najib Aminy
Hostra is preparing to violate Stony Brook beyond the actual 41-3 score
Hofstra beat SBU handily by a score but the pass defense is a bit shaky, but
of 43-3. As if a pounding like that was- there is no doubt that head coach Jim
n’t enough, it was the 12th time in row Priore will have the team working hard
the Pride has beat SBU. Though the sideline, so they also beat us in gayness. Hofstra was not nearly as stagnant during practice to improve.
teams are considered rivals, the rivalry Though the offense showed it was more on offense, gaining 155 yards on the So yes, Hofstra wiped up the floor
is a bit one sided as previous to this than capable when executed properly, ground and 161 yards through the air, with Stony Brook this past Friday, and
game, Hofstra had beat Stony Brook all they were plagued by mistakes from the leading to a total of five touchdowns. yes it was the 12th time in a row they did
eleven times the teams faced off. The start of the game. They made three They also kicked a field goal, returned a it. But just remember, they have male
worst loss came two years ago in a 55-0 penalties (all at crucial points in the fumble for a touchdown and were able cheerleaders and we don’t, and god-
trouncing, but this past week’s game game), threw two interceptions and lost to convert eight of thirteen third downs. dammit, that is something to be proud
wasn’t much better. two fumbles, one of which was returned Stony Brook only converted three of of.
The Seawolves scored on only one of sixty yards for a touchdown by Hofstra eleven on their crucial downs.

Seawolves Futbol
morale, just before heading on a four
By Peter Langone game road trip beginning the following
Monday against Marist. The Seawolves
took many good shots, with a total of
The Men’s Soccer team experienced eleven for the game. Their inability to
another disappointing loss to Towson score was due to their lack of experience
last Saturday in front of a big Stony on the field. Coach Cesar Markovic
Brook crowd. The large crowd, due to played a freshman attack and midfield,
the Seawolves’ annual Alumni day, which, although talented, were not able
cheered throughout the whole game for to finish off necessary plays to gain a
a team that had stepped up their game lead. Junior James Palumbo subbed in
but just couldn’t put the ball in the net. late in the first half and began to give
The team’s defense started off strong, the offense the life it needed. He
not allowing the Towson offense to get quickly took control of the game, dis-
off one shot. The sole goal of the game tributing good balls and ripping a thirty
came in the 62nd minute by Towson’s yard shot, but was just barely blocked by
forward Liam Maloney. This win was Towson’s keeper. Palumbo left the game
much needed to boost the seawolves’ injured within the first fifteen minutes
The Stony Brook Press Sports 35

of the second half due to a head injury against Akron, their third ranked oppo- conference teams. Their next home
incurred while trying to contest a nent this season. The 9th ranked team game is against Boston University on Note: e Stony Brook Press wants
header with one of Towson’s defense- had a hard time against a Stony Brook Wednesday, October 20 at Lavalle Sta- you to remember that
men. The Seawolves were unable to team coming off a losing streak of three dium. BIG TIME futbol players make
match the intensity of a rough Towson games. The defense played very physi- BIG TIME futbol plays in...
team, who were playing very rough de- cally against a strong offense that was
fense. expected to score more then just one
The team was once again shut out
for the second game in a row vs. Marist
goal. It came with nine seconds left in
the second half by Steve Zakuani.
BIG
College. The team was plagued with in-
juries to most of its starters that oc-
Goalie Dawid Ditrich tallied three saves
that kept the Seawolves tied for most of
TIME
curred in both the last game and the the game. Hopefully the men’s team can
rough practices their coach has been
putting them through. Junior Mihailo
keep on their great play and momentum
going into another tough match against
FUTBOL
Pavlisin took two great shots that were 22nd ranked Duke on Tuesday Septem-
denied by the Marist keeper. Marist
scored early in the 16th minute to give
ber 20, ending their road game trip.
Duke, powered by senior forward Mike
SITUATIONS
Marist a 1-0 lead. The ball hit off the Grella, will be a tough opponent for the
cross bar and trickled into the goal. men’s team.
Heading to Ohio, the team had low The men’s team is now 2-7-1, with
expectations coming into the game most of their loses coming from non-

NHL Preview
of fifteen teams in their conference. Devils will have a good year. However, boater Sydney Crosby. Grade A
By Daniel Offner Kyle Okposo, the NY Islanders first odds are they will blow it in the post Quick Grades:
round choice in 2006, has already been season if they make it. Grade B Anaheim Ducks – C
signed onto the starting roster. Also The Buffalo Sabres: The team that Atlanta Thrashers – D- (This team
As time winds down and the fall over the off-season the Islanders picked has gone through five captains last year needs to be completely restructured)
comes ever closer, something draws up veteran Doug Weight, and Mark seems to have settled with their choice Boston Bruins – D
slowly within reach… the 2008-2009 Streit from Montreal. in Jason Pominville. Teppo Numminen, Calgary Flames – C+
hockey season! The following is an in- Prediction: The Islanders don’t have Jochen Hecht and Derek Roy will be Al- Carolina Hurricanes – C-
depth look at some of you favorite a good team however they have initia- ternate Captains respectively. Jimmy Chicago Blackhawks – B-
hockey teams and their prospects for tive. They have to pull themselves out of Bonneau, Tyler Bouck, Mathieu Colorado Avalanche – B
the upcoming season: the slump they had last year in order to Darche, Craig Rivet and Patrick Lalime Columbus Blue jackets – D (B for Pascal
The New York Rangers: As the have any chance to make it to the play- were picked up in free agency. Leclaire, a sophomore goalie, who had
team dons their “Broadway Blues” to offs. Grade C- (Prediction: The team looks good 9 shut outs and a save percentage of .919
begin the new season some additions The New Jersey Devils: Last year on page and on the ice. After last years in his rookie season.)
were made to the roster. Dale Weise, they were one of the best teams around disappointing season the team needs a Dallas Stars – A
who was drafted fourth round in 2008, and experienced one of the worst post boost.) Grade B+ Edmonton Oilers- C+
is currently on the starting roster and seasons. However the Devils are pre- Detroit Redwings: The reigning Florida Panthers – D
will probably be replaced by Lauri Kor- pared to recover—with full force. Bobby champions of hockey get prepared to Los Angeles Kings – C-
pikoski. Over the summer some major Holik, ex-Devil, has been re-signed to play yet another season with all new ad- Minnesota Wild – B
players were lost and some were gained. the team via free agency. With Brodeur ditions to an already stacked team. One Montreal Canadians – A
Key players such as Sean Avery (picked between the pipes the season is almost such free agent sniped by Detroit is Nashville Predators – D (B+ for the
up by Dallas), Ryan Hollweg (picked up guaranteed to be stirring. However, he Marian Hossa, an all-star in the sport. goalie Dan Ellis)
Toronto), Jaromir Jagr (went to play for is now 36 and there is always the possi- For a team that has players like Datsyuk, Ottawa Senators – B-
Avangard Omsk in Russia), Martin bility that he has hit his prime and will Zetterberg, Lidstrom, Rafalski, Cleary, Philadelphia Flyers – C-
Straka (retired and went to play for HC begin sloping down hill now. Franzen, and Flippula, what more can Phoenix Coyotes – D
Lasselberger Plzen in the Czech Repub- Prediction: If all goes to plan the they want? San Jose Sharks – B+
lic) and Brendan Shanahan (still an un- Prediction: Hockeytown may win St. Louis Blues – C+
restricted free agent) were lost. another cup and possibly head towards Tampa Bay Lightning – B+ (Steve
However gained was Wade Redden, a dynasty with a team like this. Grade Stamkos, the number one player from
Nikolai Zherdev, Dan Fritsche, Aaron A+ the NHL draft, will be on the starting
Voros, Patrick Rissmiller and Markus Pittsburgh Penguins: The 2007- lineup. Could give this team the drive
Naslund. Also in a recent preseason 2008 season showed how Sydney they so eagerly need).
game ex-Ranger, Petr Nedved, has been Crosby isn’t really the glue holding this Toronto Maple Leafs – C-
playing and may potentially join the team together. Evgeni Malkin (drafted Vancouver Canucks – B-
team. second overall in 2004, a year before Washington Capitals – B+ (A+ for
Prediction: The Rangers have an “Sid the Kid”) pulled together a whop- Alexander Ovechkin)
all-star team this year and have serious ping 106 points in the season. Some Some special events happening this
drive from last years’ playoffs against new additions to this team are Eric Go- hockey season are, opening games in
the Penguins. I predict this team will dard, Ruslan Fedotenko and Miroslav Stockholm, Sweden and Prague, Czech
definitely make it to the postseason but Satan. Republic, the winter classic in Chicago’s
the cup isn’t etched in stone. Grade A- Prediction: Penguins will make it to Wrigley Field and the retirement of
The New York Islanders: The Is- the playoffs but will probably lose to a players like Adam Graves.
landers look prepared to redeem them- team in their own conference unless
selves from last year’s fiasco season in there is a more dramatic amount of
which the team finished thirteenth out teamwork on the part of the show-
36 Sports Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Shea Goodbye
letics in seven games. For the next Bud Selig officially retired number 42
By Jason Wirchin decade, the team hit its doldrums and it throughout all of baseball, as President
wasn’t until the mid-1980’s that the Shea Bill Clinton and Jackie Robinson’s
faithful began to feel the winds of Oc- widow, Rachel Robinson, looked on.
“Next stop, Shea Stadium.” Any tober start to blow. In 1986, the Mets And who could forget that stirring Mike
lifelong Mets fan and experienced sub- dominated the National League. Fin- Piazza home run in New York’s first
way rider knows that those four words ishing the regular season in first place sporting event since 9/11? With tens of
crackling over the 7 train’s speakers can with a 108-54 record and a 21.5 game thousands of uneasy fans packed into
only mean one thing: home is near. For lead over the Phillies in the division (oh, Shea, the place served as a house of
45 years, our beloved ballpark in how nice that would be today!); these community, a house of togetherness. As
Queens has provided us with memories Bad Boys were a team of destiny. They Piazza’s shot soared majestically over
to last a lifetime and summer after- were unruly, they were obnoxious, but the centerfield fence, New Yorkers, at
noons to savor forever. Even if they they were good, really good! After de- least for a night, had something to cheer
meant emptying our wallets just to get feating the Astros in a six-game Na- about.
there. But as another season draws to a tional League Championship Series, the Although they are the ballpark’s
close, this sky-high monument to the Mets found themselves back in the primary tenants, the Mets aren’t the
Boys of Summer (and many others) World Series. only team to have ever called Shea
takes its final bow as it closes its doors After losing the first two games at home. The Jets played their home
and gives way to Citi Field next April. home and winning the next two out of games there from 1964 to 1983 and the
So in honor of Shea’s last hoorah, let us three up in Boston, the team returned Giants, in 1975. Shea actually hosted
Bye Bye Apple
take a trip down Roosevelt Avenue (to to Shea facing elimination. But this trip both New York football teams, the Mets
the corner of 126th Street, of course) and home would be different. The reason? and the Yankees, in 1975 as Yankee Sta-
reflect on nearly a half-century of un- Game Six. On October 25, in front of a dium underwent renovations. Pity the
forgettable moments, rockin’ concerts, paid crowd of more than 55,000, Boston lanta squashed the hopes of so many schedule makers that year!
and way too expensive hot dogs. was one out away from winning their eager fans as they won the series (but More than just an all around sport-
Built in 1964 in conjunction with first title in 68 years. Yet these Mets lost to the Yankees in the Fall Classic – ing venue, however, over the years Shea
the World’s Fair, Shea’s early years were would not back down, and, perhaps nice!). Speaking of those damn Yan- has served as quite the musical scene.
marked by baseball…absolutely terrible with a little help from the baseball gods kees, 2000 was a year for the ages. In From The Beatles’ landmark concerts in
baseball! In the Mets’ first year there, Mookie Wilson’s slow roller up the first the first Subway Series World Series 1965 and 1966, Shea has hosted the likes
they won a dismal 53 games and lost base line somehow found its way under since 1956 (when the Yanks played the of Jimi Hendrix, Jethro Tull, The Who,
109. Would you expect any better with Bill Buckner’s legs and…, well, the rest Dodgers), the Mets battled their cross- The Police, Simon and Garfunkel, The
no-names like Hawk Taylor, Bobby is history. Two days later, the team won town rivals in a fan-crazy media frenzy. Rolling Stones, Eric Clapton, and Bruce
Klaus, and Roy McMillan in the start- its second Series. Shea shook. Queens The city was ablaze in blue, orange, and Springsteen. This past summer, Billy
ing lineup? Not exactly Murderer’s Row, quaked. The Mets were once again pinstripes, and what better place to host Joel played two concerts to commemo-
huh! Shea did host the All-Star Game champions of the world! the middle games of the series than at rate the stadium’s ultimate season.
that year, though it was the only time In 1988, Shea had playoff fever yet rickety Shea. The Mets salvaged the So as autumn arrives and leaves the
the Midsummer Classic ever came to again. This time, though, the magic of first game at home, but that was all. The traces of summer behind, we salute
Flushing. Nonetheless, throughout ‘86 had worn off and the dream was not Bombers went on to win the Series two Shea one final time. We will miss its de-
most of the 60’s, the Mets never placed to be. After losing a seven-game NLCS nights later. plorable parking, $20 foam fingers,
better than ninth in the National to the Dodgers, that ass-haulin’ squad After a six-year layoff, Willie Ran- stray cats, and ear-shattering sound sys-
League. Then came 1969. from just two seasons earlier was slowly dolph’s boys roared through the rest of tem; and we’ll never forget the con-
Up until the summer of that year, dismantled and a new era of Mets the National League in 2006. Dubbed a stantly flooded bathrooms (which
the Mets continued to play one would enter the scene. Nothing spec- relentless pursuit for the postseason, the resemble Temples of Doom, if anything
mediocre game after another and it tacular came from the 1989 to 1998 team’s journey from Game 1 through else). Granted, it has its quirks, but
seemed as if ‘69 was bound to turn out teams, the next two years finally gave Game 162 was marked by one stellar they’re our quirks. What else would you
like the club’s previous seven seasons. Mets fans reason to believe. Having win after another. Clinching the fran- expect from an outdated heap of steel
However, by the All-Star break in July, clinched the NL wild card in 1999, chise’s first division title since 1988, the and concrete nestled between Queens’
the Amazins’ had moved into second Bobby Valentine’s bunch found them- dynamic duo of Reyes & Wright pro- best junkyards and the Whitestone Ex-
place in the National League East, trail- selves in a spot to win the Division Se- pelled the team past the Dodgers in the pressway? As Citi Field looms omi-
ing the Cubs by only 4.5 games in the ries at home. Up three games to one NLDS and into a classic second-round nously over the centerfield fence, it’s
standings. Remarkably winning 37 of versus the Diamondbacks, back-up showdown with the Cardinals. Forced clear that Shea’s days are through. The
their last 48 games, the team took over catcher Todd Pratt came to the plate in to a defining Game 7, Shea was the last beer will be sold, the last out will be
first place on September 10, and the bottom of the tenth with the score scene for two of the most exhilarating made, and the last fans will leave the
clinched the division crown on Septem- locked at three. One swing of the bat and heart-breaking events in club his- turnstiles. But regardless of when our
ber 24 in a 6-0 win over the Cardinals. was all it took as Pratt launched a series- tory. Following Endy Chavez’s super- beloved park falls to the wrecking ball,
They went on to defeat the Braves in the clinching homer over the wall that just man catch to rob Scott Rolen of a home that big ol’ blue, cookie-cutter of a sta-
League Championship Series and eluded centerfielder Steve Finley’s glove. run in the sixth, Carlos Beltran took a dium will always remind us of what it
slaughtered the Orioles in five games to Radio announcer Gary Cohen called it called third strike to end the game, the means to be a kid again. As tough as
win the World Series at Shea on Octo- best: “It’s outta here! It’s outta! Pratt hit series, and the dreams of Mets fans this is to say…..Farewell, dear friend.
ber 16. The lovable losers were losers no it over the fence! Mets win the ball- from Manhattan to Montauk. It still Thanks for the memories.
more and ruled as the Kings of Queens. game!” hurts.
Following their first championship The Mets proceeded to face the Playoff appearances aside, the sta-
in franchise history, the Mets returned Braves in the second round of the ‘99 dium has had no shortage of “Amazin’”
to the Fall Classic in 1973 – with the playoffs, and despite Robin Ventura’s fa- moments. In April 1997 on the 50th an-
help of Tug McGraw’s “Ya Gotta Be- mous “grand slam single” in the bottom niversary of Jackie Robinson’s first game
lieve” mantra – only to lose to the Ath- of the fifteenth to force a game six; At- in the Major Leagues, Commissioner
The Stony Brook Press Sports 37

I Hate It When Red Sox Fans Are Right


What change dragged them down the
By David Robin standings for the whole duration of the
season? Was it the players? This is
clearly not the case because the Yankees
It’s the last week of the 2008 Major did not make as many changes over the
League Baseball season and much like offseason as usual. Almost all of the
every season since 1996, the Tampa Bay starting players from 2007 were back on
Rays are in first place of the American the team last April, destroying any
League(AL) East…WHAT?! The sports thoughts of the team not “meshing.”
section of the newspaper has many Was it Joe Torre’s stoic face in the
typos these days. Either that or the ab- dugout that made the difference? He
sence of the word “devil” from the name had a managerial record of 1,173 – 767
of the team from Tampa actually during his 12-year term with the Yan-
boosted their performance. The Devil kees. He left at the end of last year and
Rays were last place with 96 losses last Joe Girardi edged out Don Mattingly
season and this season, the Rays are at for the manager job during the offsea-
the top and currently have 96 wins, with son. While Girardi was the 2006 NL
three games left to play. With this im- Manager of Year with the Marlins, his
pressive turnaround, they are clearly the job this year with the Yankees has to be
biggest story of the AL East. When peo- looked at with scrutiny. While it is dif-
ple talk about baseball, they talk about ficult to find out what happens behind Pictures are often worth a thousand words.
either the rise of the Rays or the fall of the scenes, Girardi was the biggest
the New York Yankees. The Yankees change from last season and the deci- setup reliever, his proven position. seasons that were expected of them.
have 87 wins and 72 losses as of today, sions of a manager can greatly affect a Hughes and Kennedy did not perform Derek Jeter has finally made it just over
only a few games back from last year’s ballclub. to expectations and they both ended up .300 with only 69 runs batted in (RBIs).
94-68 record. This may not seem like a Another scapegoat of the Yankees’ getting injured, as well as the Yankees Abreu is batting .296 with only 20
big difference but they currently sit in plummet is the Yankees General Man- ace, Chien Ming Wang. However, the homeruns and Alex Rodriguez is at .300
third place in the division, with no ager, Brian Cashman. While he has holes were filled and the rotation did with only 101 RBIs , impressive statis-
chance of the playoffs for the first time been with the Yankees since 1998, he much better than expected. Mike tics but not what A-Rod is used to.
since 1995. This may not seem like a big has been at the helm for 3 World Series Mussina had arguably the best season of Cano is batting only .264 with 66 RBIs,
idea to some, but this is New York and titles. While he has signed great players his career, with a 19-9 record and a 3.47 Melky Cabrera was batting .243 with 46
they are the Yankees, they have no like Alex Rodriguez and Hideki Matsui, ERA. In addition, Andy Pettitte went RBIs before he was sent down to the
choice but to make it to the playoffs! he has also signed huge busts like Jaret 14-14 with a 4.54 ERA which wasn’t his minor leagues, and Giambi is sitting at
I want Bud Selig, the Commis- Wright, Jose Contreras, Kei Igawa, best but he still had many impressive .251, a far cry from the .342 that he
sioner of Major League Baseball to take Kevin Brown, and Carl Pavano. Is it outings. Rookie reliever, Dan Giese had posted in 2002. It seems as if almost all
back those words he said in 2003, where possible that these bad moves have a 3.53 ERA and while he only started of the Yankees most important hitters
he complained about the “competitive compounded over time and finally three games, he still came through just fell into a malaise. Injuries are also
imbalance” in baseball. The Yankees are greatly affected the Yankees? The same when it counted. Chamberlin also came a key element to the collapse of the Yan-
in third place and the Rays, a team that thing happened to the Braves, who are through once he became a starter but kee offense. Jeter and A-Rod were in-
has never made the play-offs, are in in 4th place, 18 games out of first place. was bitten by the injury bug. However, jured early in the season, with Matsui
first. What did the Yankees do wrong? While looking at management, the hese few positives could not outweigh and Posada following soon after.
owners of the Yankees, Hank and Hal the negatives and the injuries. Sidney Damon had a good season until his
Steinbrenner. Last year, the never sub- Ponson had one or two good starts but shoulder bothered him, sitting him out
tle George Steinbrenner was the owner he was inconsistent, Carl Pavano is pro- for an important segment of the season.
of the team. He has always given play- viding too little, too late, and a 5.34 ERA While Molina did a satisfactory job be-
ers and managers a short leash and and a 5-10 record was not what the Yan- hind the plate and the Xavier Nady was
while he has been criticized for his kees expected when they called up Dar- a great addition from the Pirates, it just
moves, he always puts winning before rell Rasner. Without the injuries, these wasn’t enough. Cody Ransom, Brett
everything else. While this may not weaknesses in the farm system may not Gardner, and Justin Christian tried
have been healthy, especially since he have been revealed and the Yankees their best to fill in the numerous holes
stepped down after being too sick to may have had a stronger starting rota- but they could not compensate from the
continue as the owner, it may have tion, but hindsight is twenty-twenty and great loss. This combination of injuries
given motivation to the team that sim- hitting is also important in baseball. and bad years for many players defi-
ply not exist with George’s sons. Okay, The Yankees are .259 with runners nitely contributed to their collapse.
enough about management, let’s look at in scoring position. This is the worst After examining these factors, it is
the players, since they are the ones who that they have done in these clutch situ- apparent that it was not one factor, but
actually play out the games. ations in a long time. When watching a a combination of different ones which
The Yankees pitching has been seen Yankee game this season, it is hard to led to the fall of the Yankees- much like
as inferior to previous years, especially get excited when players are in scoring the fall of the Holy Roman Empire. The
due to early season injuries. They were position because the Yankees have flat- debate will continue all offseason but it
already gambling during spring train- out not come through in these situa- is very hard to blame only one aspect of
ing with a starting rotation consisting of tions. However, the Rays also have a the Yankees’ failure. The only thing left
Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy, two un- very low batting average with runners to say, is that maybe the new Yankee
proven rookies. The third notable in scoring position so the importance of Stadium will revitalize the team next
Wow, A-Rod sucks at everything. rookie, Joba Chamberlin, was going to this statistic may be overstated. Many of season. Let’s Go Mets?
be a starter but began the season as the the Yankee starters have not had the
38 Sports Vol. XXX, Issue 2 | Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Sports Fortnight In Review


By Habib Aminy
Staff Writer tk

The top news this past week was the


“fundamentaly strong economy” falter-
ing even more and the presidential de-
bates which were just like any other
presidential debate, filled with rhetoric,
hyperboles, castigation and the same BS
promises by politicians. Quoting Nikita
Khrushchev, “Politicians promise
bridges when there are no rivers.” As an
informed American, it’s demoralizing
that these politicians who have the
power and money to make a difference
create more problems than what they
“fix.” One of the many reasons why
sports is interesting and politics is de-
pressing is because there is nothing
shady to what you’re watching or any
corruption unless you are watching the
MLB with steroid infested players, the
New England Patriots, or the NBA with
its gambling referees. The headlines of
the past sports week comprise of the
amazin’ Mets failing to make the play- blown saves by the Mets bullpen, the With both the Yankees and Mets game for a good five years, there is
offs, Allan Houston coming back to the pen clearly didn’t do their job again, and out of the playoffs, the local newspapers heavy doubt as to whether the move
Knicks, Brett Favre’s record day against it didn’t help that the offense couldn’t hit are finally going to report on real sports was a wise one; to be more precise, the
the Cardinals and Sugar Shane Mosley’s against Florida’s pitchers. David Wright like football, basketball and hockey. Knicks need big men that play defense
fight against Ricardo Mayorga this past mirrored Barack Obama’s diplomatic Yes, hockey is a sport that is far more like Marcus Camby or Tyson Chandler.
Saturday night. style after the game saying, “We failed. athletic and entertaining than baseball. There are also rumors that Stephon
As I predicted in last issue’s article, We failed as a team. There’s no pointing I make this complaint about the news- Marbury’s contract will be bought out
the Mets choked and will miss the play- fingers. There’s no excuses. We as a unit papers over-posting on baseball because in the upcoming weeks and will be re-
offs. My prediction came true when the didn’t get the job done.” Had David it is disappointing to have reporters post leased as a result. It is sad that it has
Mets lost to the Florida Marlins in their Wright followed John McCain’s style, he BS articles for seven months about come to this in the Starbury Saga be-
final game at Shea Stadium. If Family would have stated, “My friends, my baseball players’ lives. For example, do cause Stephon gave it his all when he
Feud were to have a question on how friends, I did my job. The bullpen were we have to know how Alex Rodriquez did play. Only time will tell what will
the Mets lose, the top answer would terrorists and that’s why we didn’t make likes men, or how the Mets bullpen happen with Marbury and Houston be-
most certainly be their bullpen. With the playoffs. We need to get rid of these watches Déjà Vu before every game. As cause the Knicks have seventeen players
the game tied 2-2 at the top of the terrorists or we will always miss the for the Mets, Yankees and my Braves on the roster and teams are only al-
eighth, former Atlanta Braves first base- playoffs.” As the Mets experienced there is always next year. Though this lowed fifteen at the start of the season.
man Wes Helms hit a bomb off Scott “Shea-Ja Vu,” the Brewers are heading to past year was a disappointment, to say If I were a betting man, Jerome James’
Schoeneweis. Dan Uggla then hit a the playoffs after a 26-year hiatus. Such the least, for all these capitalistically tal- and Marbury’s contracts would be
homer as well, this one off Luis Ayala, an occasion calls for a champagne cele- ented teams that are all for “orgy spend- bought out.
to make it 4-2. Though this game bration best equipped with Michael ing,” one must commend Larry Closing out this week in sports is
wouldn’t be classified under the embar- Phelps swimming goggles, the majority “Chipper” Jones for winning the Na- this past Saturday night’s fight between
rassing major league leading thirty of the Brewers styled. tional League batting title, hitting .364 Sugar Shane Mosley and Ricardo May-
for the year. orga, which can be described as hu-
Moving onto the NFL, Brett Favre morous. Mayorga’s punching accuracy
had an amazing game as the Jets de- was horrendous at 12% compared to
feated the Arizona Cardinals. Throwing Mosley at 40%. Mayorga spent more
for a franchise tying record of six touch- time cheering and pumping his fist than
downs, and going 24-for-34 for 289 actually punching Sugar Shane. He was
yards and an interception, Brett Favre also more accurate in hugging Mosley
silenced all the critics and has kept hope at almost 1000% accuracy. Mosley, on
alive for Jets fans. His counterpart, Kurt the other hand, was just beating the hell
Warner, statistically went bananas out of Mayorga, and I give credit to
throwing 40-of-57 for 472 yards with Mayorga for being Mosley’s punching
two touchdowns, though the four bag. The final round was entertaining,
turnovers by Warner (two interceptions with Mosley delivering left jabs and left
and two fumbles) were critical in that it hooks with Mayorga getting dizzy and
led to Jets scoring every time. Had it not what not. Mosley knocked out Mayorga
been for seven turnovers by the Arizona with fifteen seconds left in the final
Canaries, this game would have been far round, and Mayorga got up at about
closer because both defenses were pa- seven seconds left. Then, with one sec-
thetic. ond, left Sugar Shane puts the icing on
Moving on to the entertaining, yet the cake, getting the second KO with a
loser loaded, Knicks, another bone- devastating left hook dead on in the
headed move was made by the Knicks’ middle of Mayorga’s face. In closing I
management in signing 37-year-old vet- leave you with a thought, why are the
eran, Allan Houston. Absent from the Mets known as the “Amazin’ Mets”?
The Stony Brook Press
Have fun reading this while you are in some boring class.
Sports 39
Love,
e Press

North East North East

Pittsburgh Steelers Buffalo Bills Green Bay Packers New York Giants
(3-1) (4-0) (2-2) (3-0)

So Alan Faneca le the Steelers and Buffalo joins the Titans and the Giants You were probably expectng a compar- Winning a close game against the Ben-
Ben Roethlisberger is going for the re- as the only undefeated teams in the ison between Favre and Rodgers. Look gals, the Giants had a bye and Plaxico
ocrd of most frequently sacked QB. NFL. Who is their quarterback again? at their records. Happy? was fined for the 50th time of his
Awesome. Giant career. He is breaking records.

Baltimore Ravens New England Patriots Chicago Bears Washington Redskins


(2-2) (2-1) (2-2) (3-1)
Whatever. Boring team. ey haven’t Coming off an embarassing loss to the
had anything interesting happen to Dolphins, the bye comes at a perfect Big win over a stong Eagles team. Aer losing to the Giants, the Red-
them since they won the Super Bowl time for the NFL’s biggest cheaters as ough the offense was sloppy, skins have turned their season around
eight years ago and Ray Lewis they can think about how much they Urlacher and the defense came up big. and proven that they can compete in
murdered that guy. will suck. Note: Rex is still on the bench. the toughest division in the NFL.

Cleveland Browns New York Jets Minnesota Vikings Dallas Cowboys


(1-3) (2-2) (1-3) (3-1)

You know your team is bad when they e Brett Favre is back and he is better So Travaaris was replaced by Gus Fer- How many times was T.O. thrown the
have to beat the Bengals in order to get then ever. Suprisingly, with six touch- otte. Peterson scored, Vikings defense ball? ough an onside kick may have
their first win. down passes, John Madden is still let up. Vikings lose. Adrian still a allowed the Cowboys to come back, all
alive. prime fantasy player. the hype can now end.

Cincinatti Bengals Miami Dolphins Detroit Lions Philadelphia Eagles


(0-4) (1-2) (0-3) (2-2)

You know your team is bad when you With a big win over the Patriots, Ron- You know your team sucks when the Despite what their record may indi-
can’t beat the Browns to break a three nie Brown looks to be the sleeper pick only news mention you get is the firing cate, the Eagles are a force to be reck-
game losing streak. of the year. of your team president. Looks like the oned with. Note: Hank Baskett is a
anksgiving game will be lame. poor fantasy football option.
South West South West

Tennessee Titans Denver Broncos Carolina Panthers Arizona Cardinals


(4-0) (3-1) (3-1) (2-2)

e Titans have a strong chance at Starting the season off 3-0 only to lose e Panthers killed the Falcons like Kurt Warner throws for 8 million
being 5-0 going into their upcoming to the Kansas City Chiefs creates Michael Vick killed dogs. yards but turns over the ball too many
bye-week.With an impressive defense, doubt into the legitmacy of this team. times.
the Titans should win over the Ravens.

Jacksonville Jaguars San Diego Chargers Tampa Bay Buccaneers San Francisco 49ers
(2-2) (2-2) (3-1) (2-2)

Aer losing two nail biters to start off e Chargers finally win over two not- Aer his three-month old son died in Who is their QB again?
their season, the Jaguars have re- so-impressive teams. To their benefit, his sleep, Tampa Bay kicker Matt
bounded by winning two nail biters. they face the Dolphins next. Bryant scored almost half of the team’s
points.

Indianapolis Colts Oakland Raiders New Orleans Saints Seattle Seahawks


(1-2) (1-3) (2-2) (1-3)

DSRL veteran Peyton Manning and Raiders are sticking to what they know No Colston, no Shockey, no problem. You know your team is bad when Matt
the Colts had their bye and look to best. Losing. Hasselback is your quarterback.
take control of a division they once
ruled with an iron fist.

Houston Texans Kansas City Chiefs Atlanta Falcons St. Louis Rams
(0-3) (1-3) (2-2) (0-4)

e Texans gave it their all against the Congrats to the Chiefs for winning Beating the Chiefs means very little is teams sucks so much that this is
Jaguars only to lose in OT. Hungry for what will be their only victory of the when you get killed in your next game. all I will write about them.
their first win, the Texans will face the season.
demoralized Colts.
Death Egg Zone