Assertive Discipline: Lee Canter

A behaviorist approach to class control based on the assumptions that teachers have a right to teach and a right to expect students to behave. Breaks teacher behavior into three general response styles. Listen to some examples, and see if you can identify / describe them: Example . A third grade teacher had a number of students !ho fre"uently !ould push and shove in order to be the first in line !hich resulted in constant fighting and yelling before the class !ent outside. #he teacher !alks up to the children and states, $% don&t kno! !hat&s !rong !ith you children. 'ou&re pushing and shoving again. 'ou children need to learn ho! to line up like good boys and girls. (o! % !ant you all to try and do that. #he teacher !alks up to the children, grabs them, yanks them to the back of the line and says, $'ou push and shove others, %&ll push and shove you. )ee if you like it.* #he teacher firmly tells students, $)top pushing and shoving.* #o back up her !ords, she makes all the children !ho !ere pushing and shoving go to the back of the line. Example +. An eighth grade science teacher had a problem !ith students cheating on tests. ,uring an exam he observed several students openly looking at each other&s papers. #he teacher states, $,on&t forget, %&ve told you if % catch anyone cheating they&ll be sorry, so % hope any of you !ho may be thinking of cheating !on&t do it.* #he teacher storms up to the students and angrily rips up their papers stating, $% can&t stand cheaters. 'ou should be ashamed of yourselves.* #he teacher calls the students to his desk and firmly states, $#here is no cheating in this class. % sa! you looking at each other&s papers, so you !ill all get -&s on the test.* #he three teacher response styles are: . non.assertive +. hostile /. assertive Non-assertive (also known as wishy-washy): #he teacher doesn&t clearly express their !ants and feelings, nor do they back up their !ords !ith the necessary positive action. (on.assertive teachers !ill feel frustrated and inade"uate due to their inability to get their needs met in the classroom or control kids. #he stress !ill build and eventually result in burn out and becoming fed up !ith students and teaching as a profession )tudents of non.assertive teachers feel frustrated, manipulated, and angry. #hey don&t experience the clear limits they need to function in the classroom. 0ne day the teacher

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may mean !hat they say and the next they don&t. #he children may sit through barrages of threats !ith little !ay of kno!ing if they&re real or meaningless. 5ids resent this situation and many !ell try to get a!ay !ith all they can by $testing* the teacher continuously to see if s/he means !hat s/he says that day. 5ids !ill learn to $con* the teacher in order to manipulate them. #he lack of limits and the inevitable testing by students results in a chaotic environment of constant disruptions !hich damages the students educationally. Hostile: #eachers express their !ants and feelings, but in a !ay that $puts do!n* others or abuses their rights. #he negative emphasis of a hostile response style tends to create a negative environment and affects the !ay teachers and students feel about themselves. 6ontrary to the belief of most students, no teacher likes to be $mean* and hostile. #eachers exercise a negative stance !hen they feel it&s the only !ay they can maintain control. #hey don&t like the !ay they are behaving and thus, most feel guilty about the !ay they are dealing !ith students. #he fear, guilt and negative responses become a ma7or stumbling block to the development of anything but a negative, self. defeating teacher.child relationship. )tudents "uickly learn to fear and dislike hostile teachers, and often school in general as !ell. #he teacher often becomes the enemy, and students do !hatever they can, be it lie, cheat, or feign illness, to get around the perceived unfair negative limits of the teacher. Assertive: #he teacher clearly and firmly communicates their needs to their students, and are prepared to reinforce their !ords !ith appropriate actions. #hey respond in a manner !hich maximi8es their potential to get their needs met, but in no !ay violates the best interests of students. )tudents learn to trust and respect an assertive teacher, because they kno! the teacher is $fair*, meaning !hat they say and saying !hat they mean. )tudents clearly kno! the parameters of acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Assertive ,iscipline is based on a combination of teacher and student rights You as the teacher have the right to: establish a classroom structure and routine that provides the optimal learning environment in light of your o!n personal needs. determine and re"uest appropriate behavior from the students !hich meet your needs and encourage the positive social and educational development of the child. ask for help from parents, the principal, etc. !hen you need assistance !ith a child.

Stu ents have the right to: have a teacher !ho is in a position to and !ill help them limit their inappropriate, self.disruptive behavior.

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have a teacher !ho is in the position to and !ill provide positive support for appropriate behavior. choose ho! to behave and kno! the conse"uences that !ill follo!.

!allacies which cause teachers to constantly "uestion how they iscipline stu ents: %f you discipline a child you !ill cause him irreparable $psychic trauma.* 'ou must avoid all conflict !ith children. %f a child is $ripping apart* the classroom, don&t confront him9 find him an alternative activity that !ill better meet his needs. %n order to get a child to behave, all a teacher has to do is feed him full of :;:&s !hen he&s good and ignore him !hen he&s bad. <hen a child is upset and disruptive, you need to help him express his feelings before you can get him to behave. =(ot the same as you ackno!ledging feelings.>

#o establish your rights !ithin the classroom, you have to identify !hat things / behaviors you need in your classroom. )ome possibilities include: -ollo! directions ?aise hand to speak 6lean up <alk !hile in the classroom (o fighting (o talking back #ell the truth Line up (o eating in class Listen to !homever is speaking @lay cooperatively on the yard #ake turns at activities 5eep chair legs on the floor keep hands, feet, ob7ects to self no s!earing lo! noise level complete !ork on time !ork independently no stealing no destroying property be on time use supplies appropriately speak one at a time share supplies no screaming

Limit the number of behaviors / rules to a maximum of five. Jonathans comments: Post the rules on the wall, then refer to them when identifying behaviors that dont fit. I always had a class rule that was global in nature saying that students would refrain from any activity that kept another student from learning. When a student was violating the rule, I would ask him her something like, !"oes ##########$fill in the blank% keep others from learning&' which was usually all I needed to say. (ou can include students in the establishment of the class rules which promotes buy)in and class esprit de corps. Just as with implementing a lesson, you can use *uestions to steer kids into suggesting the rules youve already decided you need want. +or

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e,ample, ask, !What do you think might happen if we all spoke at the same time&' followed by !What class rule could we make so that that wouldnt happen&' -r, !.ow many of you can read in a noisy room& .ow many prefer reading in a *uiet room& What rule could we make so that the noise in the room works for everyone&' #hat $akes %or an assertive teacher& . Assertive teachers believe that children need positive limits and are prepared to set those limits !ith both !ords and actions. +. Assertive teachers are persistent in ho! they respond to inappropriate behavior. #hey back up !hat they say and enforce rules every time there&s an infraction. Example: A group of students rarely finished their math, preferring to talk rather than !ork. #he teacher gave them the choice of finishing during math time or doing so during recess. Ae !as prepared to miss his recess to !atch the students. %t !as necessary for him to keep the students in during recess for a !eek before they reali8ed he meant !hat he said, after !hich they chose to complete their !ork during class. (ever make a demand you&re not prepared to follo! through on. /. Assertive teachers are "uick to recogni8e, and express their recognition to the child, in response to a child&s appropriate behavior. Assertive 'esponses Assertive responses have t!o clear components . communication of disapproval follo!ed by a statement of !hat the child is to do. Examples: % !ant you to stop shouting out and raise your hands. % don&t allo! running in this classroom9 no! !alk. #eacher: $)teve, % !ant you to clean up and get to !ork.* )teve: $1ust a fe! more minutes. 'ou never allo! me to finish my pro7ect.* #eacher: $% said % !ant you to clean up and get to !ork.* )teve: $% kno! but 7ust a little more time, pleaseB* #eacher: $)teve, no more time. % !ant you to get to !ork no!.* 'oa (locks to )eing Assertive #he most common roadblock to becoming an assertive teacher is the teacher&s o!n negative expectation of their ability to deal effectively !ith students. Examples include: Emotional illness C the child is $sick* and thus cannot be expected to act $normal*. Aeredity C the child&s genetic makeup compels him/her to act inappropriately =Ais older brother !as a hellion9 % guess it 7ust runs in the family.>

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Brain ,amage C A,,, crack baby, learning disabled students can&t be expected to stay in their seat or keep from disrupting. %gnorance C the child isn&t mature enough to behave. @eer pressure C the child is easily influenced by peers such that he isn&t able to control him/herself. =Ae&s fine until he gets around those other boys.> )ocio.economic background C the child is from such a deprived background that she/he can&t be expected to behave as other kids do. Living in that neighborhood, of course, he/she gets into trouble all the time. <hat else could be expected of himB> 6lass environment C the child can&t function in a regular classroom and needs to be in a special class.

<hile all of these are genuine problems that can influence a child&s behavior and make him or her more challenging to deal !ith, none prevent a child from behaving. #eachers need to distinguish bet!een $can&t behave* and $!on&t behave.* *er(al Li$it Setting: +ypes o% 'esponses Aint: Everyone should be !orking. Duestion: <ould you please focus on your !ork. % :essage: % !ant you to open your book and begin !orking. ,emand: Eet to !ork no!. Fse hints, "uestions or % messages. ,emands imply that there !ill be conse"uences, yet most teachers !ho use demands don&t have or implement any follo! through or conse"uences !hich undermines their authority, teaching children not to listen or obey. Ao! you state !hat you !ant is as important as !hat you say. #one of voice, eye contact, gesture / touch, use of name all can reinforce your !ords. #ry this exercise: . )ay, $)top talking,* !hile looking over your partner&s shoulder C make no eye contact. +. )ay, $)top talking,* looking your partner right in the eye. /. )ay, $)top talking,* looking your partner right in the eye and gesturing !ith your hand. 3. %nclude your partner&s name, $)usan, stop talking,* !hile looking your partner right in the eye and gesturing !ith your hand. G. ,o all of number 3 but this time place your hand on your partner&s shoulder. H. ?epeat number C looking over your partner&s shoulder. I. ?epeat number G C eye contact, gesturing, name and hand on shoulder. !(ou "ont /ike 0e' )teve is a very aggressive child !ho refuses to take responsibility for his actions. <henever his teacher confronted him about his fighting he blamed everyone else, either for provoking him into fighting or for blaming him unfairly.

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+eacher: $)teve, % !ill not tolerate your fighting !ith your peers. 'ou !ill stop fighting in this class.* =statement of !ant>. Steve: $%t&s not my fault. #he children pick on me.* +eacher: $#hat&s not true, you start the fights.* Steve: $'ou don&t like me. 'ou&re like everyone else !ho picks on me.* +eacher: $)teve, % do like you. %f % didn&t, % !ould not be here no!.* Steve: $%f you liked me, you !ould believe that % !as right, that the other children pick on me.* +eacher: % !ant to believe you , but it&s hard. 'ou get into so many fights. Look, to sho! you that % really do like you, and that % am trying to believe you, %&ll give you another chance.* #he child $sidetracked* the teacher from the demand of $stop fighting* and into trying to prove to the child that he really is cared about. An assertive teacher may respond to the same child as follo!s: +eacher: =!ith eye contact, hand on shoulder>: $)teve, % !ill not tolerate your fighting. 'ou !ill stop fighting in this classJ* =statement of !ant> Steve: $%t&s not my fault. #hey pick on me.* +eacher =firmly>: $#hat&s not the point, you !ill stop fighting in this classJ* Steve: $'ou don&t like me. 'ou are like everybody else !ho picks on me.* +eacher =firmly>: $% understand, but you !ill stop fighting in this classJ* Steve: $'ou&re 7ust picking on me. %&ll do !hat % !antJ* +eacher: =calmly>: $)teve, you !ill stop fighting. 'ou have a choice: you may stop fighting, or % !ill call your parents every time you fightJ* Steve: $<o!, you 7ust !ant to get me in troubleJ* +eacher =calmly>: $)teve, it&s your choice. <hen you choose to fight, then you also choose to have me call your parentsJ* !1rying' 6arol is a very immature child. Fnless she gets her !ay she !ill disrupt the class. <henever the teacher attempts to deal !ith 6arol, she immediately breaks do!n and cries. #his takes place almost on a daily basis. +eacher: $6arol, % !ant you to stop poking and shoving the children !ho sit next to you on the rug. %t !ill stop no!J* =statement of !ant>

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Carol: =beginning to cry>: $But % didn&t mean to do it.* +eacher: $(o!, no!, 6arol. (o need to get so upset. Every time % talk to you about your behavior you cry.* Carol =sobbing>: $%&m sorry.* +eacher: $6arol, it&s okay. %&m not angry !ith you. 1ust calm do!n. Aere, blo! your nose. <e can talk !hen you are calmer. 'ou&re 7ust having a rough day.* (o one likes to see a child cry. (o one likes to feel she made a child cry. )ome children, such as 6arol, "uickly learn that if they get upset and cry, the teacher !ill feel guilty and stop placing demands on them. An assertive teacher may respond to 6arol in this manner: +eacher: =eye contact, firmly>: $% !ant you to stop poking and shoving the children that are sitting next to you.* =statement of !ant> Carol =beginning to cry>: $But % didn&t mean to.* +eacher =firmly>: $#hat&s not the point, % !ant you to stop poking and shoving the children !ho sit next to youJ* Carol =sobbing>: $But % didn&t mean to.* +eacher =calmly>: $% understand, but % don&t !ant you to poke and shove the children !ho sit next to youJ* Carol =stops crying>: $All right, %&ll keep my hands to myself.* !2elligerence' :att does not do his class!ork. <hen confronted about this, he becomes volatile in his response, a response he has learned to be effective in manipulating his teachers. +eacher: $:att, % !ill not put up !ith your refusing to do your !ork. 'ou !ill do your !ork in this class.* =statement of !ant> Chil : $% don&t give a darn !hat you say. 'ou can&t make meJ* +eacher: =fuming>: $,on&t talk to me that !ay, !ho do you think you areB* Chil : $<ho do you think you areB* +eacher =yelling>: $Listen, young man, %&m not going to take this from you.* Chil : $% don&t give a darn !hat you do.* +eacher =yelling>: $'ou are disgusting. 'ou&ll be sorry for !hat you&re saying. % !on&t tolerate children talking to me this !ay. Eet out of hereJ*

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#he teacher allo!ed the child&s anger to $hook* her. )he !as responding to the child&s hostility rather than persisting tha the child do his !ork. #he teacher, thus, did not get her needs met. An assertive teacher may respond as follo!s: +eacher: $:att, % !ill not put up !ith your refusing to !ork. 'ou !ill do your !ork in this class.* =statement of !ant> ,att: $% don&t give a darn !hat you say. 'ou can&t make me.* +eacher =calmly, firmly>: $:att, you !ill do your !ork in this classJ* ,att: $%f you !ant your !ork doneKyou do itJ* +eacher =calmly>: $:att, you !ill do your !ork in this classKor % !ill call your parents. %t is your choice.* =follo!.through conse"uences> ,att: $'ou 7ust !ant to get me in troubleJ* +eacher: $#hat&s not the point, you have a choice: 'ou !ill choose to do your !ork in classKor you !ill choose to have me call your parents.* =Broken record, follo!.through> ,att: $% !on&t do my !ork.* +eacher =calmly>: $0kay. 'ou have chosen to have your parents called. % !ill call the at recessJ* !Im 3orry45ive 0e 6nother 1hance' )ue Ann has learned to get around limits by "uickly apologi8ing for her actions and making promises never to do it again. #he problem !ith such a child is that her apologies and promises are not sincere, for she continues to engage in the same inappropriate behavior. +eacher: $)ue Ann, % !ill not put up !ith your leaving a mess every time you paint. 'ou !ill clean up after yourself.* =statement of !ant> Sue Ann: $%&m sorry, :rs. 6., please forgive me.* +eacher: $#hat&s !hat you al!ays say.* Sue Ann: $% kno! %&ve been !rong. %&ll be good.* +eacher: $'ou promised last !eek to be good, and yet, you made a mess again today.* Sue Ann: $%&ve been really tired lately. % mean it this time. %&ll be good. % s!ear % !ill.* +eacher: $0kay, one last chance. -rom no! on, % !ant to see some real effort out of you.* 0nce again, the teacher did not persist in her demands !ith the child. #he child !as able to sidetrack her !ith promises and apologies. #he teacher did not !ant

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apologiesKshe !anted the child to stop making a mess. An assertive teacher could have responded as follo!s: +eacher: $)ue Ann, % !ill not put up !ith your leaving a mess every time you paint. 'ou !ill clean up after yourselfJ* =statement of !ant> Sue Ann: $%&m sorry, :rs. 6., please forgive me.* +eacher: $#hat&s not the point. 'ou !ill clean up after yourselfJ* Sue Ann: $%&ve been really tired lately. %&m sorry.* +eacher =firmly>: $% understand, but you !ill clean up after yourselfJ* Sue Ann: $% hear !hat you are saying. % !ill clean up after myself.* %n each of these examples, !hen the teachers responded assertively they did not become sidetracked or $hooked* by the child&s guilt.provoking statements, anger, tears, or promises. #hey !ere able to maintain the focus on their !ants and persisted in stating them calmly and firmly. +he )roken 'ecor #his techni"ue ignores all sidetracking manipulations by students. #eacher: )ue, % !ant you to raise your hand and !ait to be called upon before you speak =)tatement of !ant>. )ue: (one of the other children do. #eacher: #hat&s not the point, % !ant you to raise your hand =Broken record>. )ue: 'ou never call on me. #eacher: #hat&s not the point, % !ant you to raise your hand =Broken record>. )ue: 05 %f sue hadn&t capitulated, the teacher !ould need to have a follo! through conse"uence: )ue, you have a choice, you can raise your hand or LLLLLLLLLLLLLL. #he broken record techni"ue can help teachers remain calm and not fight, argue or debate !ith students. 0nce students reali8e you !on&t engage !ith them, they&ll be less likely to continue after the initial statement by the teacher. Add examples from pages 4/.4I. Li$it Setting Conse"uences #ime out !ith younger students: one minute per year of age is a good guideline9 no more than +2 minutes. #ime out in another classroom for older students: /2 C H2 minutes9 send !ith !ork to do. 5ids don&t like being removed from their class9 it removes their audience9 students typically behave in another teacher&s class. )et this up in advance !ith another teacher

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and the student by taking the student to the other class and sho!ing him/her !here they !ould sit and do his/her !ork. #he other teacher can also tell the student firmly that she !ill expect the child to behave and do their !ork. ?emoval of privilege or positive activity: remove free time, recess, @E, class monitor, field trip, etc. )tay after school =detention>: kno! ho! the child !ill get home. (otify parents. @rincipal: Jonathans note 7 know your principals attitudes toward this. Aome conse"uences: call or send a note home. Arrange for the parents to provide a negative conse"uence like no #N. #ape record behavior: use only !ith the student&s full kno!ledge of !hat you&re doing and the parent&s permission. Fse !hen parents don&t believe their kid&s a problem or !hen all else fails. (ever play the tape for anyone but the principal or parents. -ositive 'ein%orce$ent @ositive communication !ith parents: note or phone call A!ards )pecial privileges: extra free time, games, first in line, teacher helper :aterial re!ards: pencil, raisins Aome follo! through C parents !ill provide a re!ard at home. Contracts (eed to be: . @ositive in design: $%f you do this, this positive reinforcement !ill happen*, not $%f you don&t do this, this punishment !ill happen.* +. ,esigned to delivers positive conse"uence "uickly. -or example, *-or every hour you keep your hands to yourself, you !ill receive one point. <hen you have five points you !ill get LLLLLLLLL.* As a general rule, the younger the student, the "uicker the re!ard. -or example, 5./ should be able to earn a re!ard every day. 3.G every day to three days9 H grade every day to five days9 Ith and up, every day to three !eeks. /. -lexible: try the contract for a !eek to see if it&s effective. %f not, change it. -or example, the re!ards may not be !hat the kid !ants. Jonathans note: try writing a list of the ten things you think would make good rewards for your kids, then order them from the thing you think your kids would want most to the thing theyd want least. 8hen ask your kids to do the same, then compare your answers to theirs. (ou might want to include the results in your classroom management plan. 3. ,esigned to include limit.setting conse"uences: Aere&s an example, $-or every assignment you complete, you !ill earn three minutes !ith me to !ork on a special pro7ects. But !henever you shout out, you !ill be timed out for ten minutes.*

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+.ACH.' '/0H+S: +o esta(lish a classroo$ structure an routine that provi es the opti$al learning environ$ent in light o% your own personal nee s1 +o eter$ine an re"uest appropriate (ehavior %ro$ the stu ents which $eet your nee s an encourage the positive social an e ucational evelop$ent o% the chil 1 +o ask %or help %ro$ parents2 the principal2 etc1 when you nee assistance with a chil 1

S+3D.N+ '/0H+S: +o have a teacher who is in a position to an will help the$ li$it their inappropriate2 sel%- isruptive (ehavior1 +o have a teacher who is in the position to an will provi e positive support %or appropriate (ehavior1 +o choose how to (ehave an know the conse"uences that will %ollow1

D/SC/-L/N. !ALLAC/.S: /% you iscipline a chil you will cause hi$ irrepara(le 4psychic trau$a15 You $ust avoi all con%lict with chil ren1 /% a chil is 4ripping apart5 the classroo$2 on6t con%ront hi$7 %in hi$ an alternative activity that will (etter $eet his nee s1 /n or er to get a chil to (ehave2 all a teacher has to o is %ee hi$ %ull o% ,8,6s when he6s goo an ignore hi$ when he6s (a 1 #hen a chil is upset an isruptive2 you nee to help hi$ e9press his %eelings (e%ore you can get hi$ to (ehave1

#HA+ ,A:.S !;' AN ASS.'+/*. +.ACH.'& Assertive teachers (elieve that chil ren nee positive li$its an are prepare to set those li$its with (oth wor s an actions1 Assertive teachers are persistent in how they respon to inappropriate (ehavior1 +hey (ack up what they say an en%orce rules every ti$e there6s an in%raction1 Assertive responses have two clear co$ponents: <1 Co$$unication o% isapproval1 =1 A state$ent o% what the chil is to o1