Taylor Campbell Camille Pack English 2010 March 6, 2014

Road to Recovery
There are people in this world that can use drugs both medically and recreationally without any consequences. For others, using drugs causes addiction, which is a complex sickness that affects an individual both mentally and physically. Someone who compulsively uses either prescription or illegal drugs can damage their brains appearance and functionality. Drugs can cause the brain to exhale copious amount of dopamine, which causes a very pleasurable feeling that makes the brain want more. (National Institute on Drug Abuse) Environmental factors such as family history of abuse, peer pressure, use of drugs at an early age, and depression or anxiety can make a person more susceptible to drug addiction. (Robinson, Melinda Smith and Joanna Saisan) I know people who suffer from drug addiction. They describe addiction as a demon in their closet, always looking over their shoulder and whispering in their ear. When I am around addiction, I feel like I can hear those voices, as if the demon is trying to latch onto me. I can see can see the look of desperation on their faces and I can understand that recovery is a long and treacherous road. One addict in particular has had a great impact on me. Jerry is a drug addict, as they say when they introduce themselves in an NA meeting. He is a tall man with an average build and a baldhead. He is always wearing

a backwards baseball cap and clothes that make him look like he is in his mid twenties although, he is almost 50. NA stands for Narcotics Anonymous, which is a non-profit organization using a similar 12-step system as Alcoholics anonymous, which assists in peoples drug recovery. (Narcotics Anonymous) Jerrys addiction can be attributed to mostly environmental factors. He started experimenting with drugs at an early age, has always suffered from depression and anxiety, and has a long family history of abuse and addiction. I would sit in various NA meetings and hear stories about Jerrys life and his constant struggle with recovery. Jerry was raised with privilege. His father was a wealthy man and he never went by without something he needed. Still, Jerry had an itch to rebel. He explained how he felt trapped in suburbia America and how everything seemed sugar coated and unauthentic. He associated with a bad group of people and at a very young age experimented with drugs. Marijuana was the drug of choice but as he got older, it no longer appeased his appetite. Weed quickly turned into cocaine, and then spiraled out of control to heroine. As Jerry reached his twenties, the dependence upon drugs became too much and he knew recovery was the only way. I have listened to Jerry speak on multiple occasions; never failing to make me appreciate that my life has had a different path than his. My family history is also filled with addiction and depression, and I have always made it a mission of mine to not fall into the same traps as some of my family members. Ive seen first hand when someone cannot function or even speak unless they receive a hit. The thought of not being in a manageable state of mind unless having a substance steer me in the

right direction is unfathomable to me. Although, I know that it can happen to me if I am not careful. Clean is a deceiving word when it comes to recovering drug addicts. The technical term clean, when applied to recovery, means being abstinent from mindaltering substances. This includes both drugs and alcohol, and anything else an addict is dependent on. (Recovery) Addicts in NA receive chips for certain anniversary dates, commemorating the amount of time an addict has been abstinent. The NA organization does not keep records of members and the amount of time they are sober. It is all perceived by a members definition of the word clean. I remember seeing addicts receive chips although, they continue with other mindaltering substances that are different from the ones that tempted them to recover. Jerry, on the other hand, cherishes every chip he receives. He understands what it means to him and he doesnt cheat himself or the system. Jerry became clean and started a family. He had a wife and an eventual four kids with a stable job. Despite this, he made it clear that the cravings never really went away. Eventually his marriage fell apart and he abandoned his four kids and ran for solace in a distant place called Phoenix, Arizona. There he fell back into old habits and his demons started creeping out of the closet. Unable to shake the hunger, he ultimately relapsed. Hearing addicts speak about relapse has always been somewhat daunting to me. You do all that work to pull yourself out of a hole that has been engulfing you, then suddenly one false step and you go crashing back down. It is hard to imagine starting all over and it is inspiring to hear the stories of individuals having to do it

over and over again, getting further each time they attempt to reach the unattainable peak of sobriety. I realized that these meetings are what push addicts to achieve their goals and how they lean on each other for support. After hearing Jerrys story of relapse, I knew thats why he often attended meetings. Jerry was crippled by financial struggles and forced to move in with his parents for support. His drug addiction had essentially caused him to become homeless and now dependent upon others. The sickness had consumed him and devoured any sense of self-importance. Jerry collapsed into a deep depression. Not able to be a functioning member of society, and with the never-ending yearnings of the poison that ruined his life, he devised a plan that could solve everything. Jerrys parents house was located in a senior community. Gated and with 24 hour surveillance, crime was never an issue in this neighborhood. Homeowners unapologetically left their doors and windows unlocked. Jerry knew this and with his parents discarding whatever form of mind-altering substance they had in their house, he began to make his way throughout the neighborhood. He attempted to seek out homes that appeared to be unoccupied at the time. If a house was without lights on or any kind of noise protruding out, he would enter through a nonattention grabbing way. Raiding medicine cabinet after medicine cabinet, he finally found what would do the trick. Traveling back to his parents house, covering any tracks he might have left behind, he contemplated what he was about to do. He was a homeless deadbeat with a record of abandonment and no salvation in sight. He was confident this was the correct thing to do. With a bottle of opioids in his hand, he proceeded through the

front entrance of the house where his mom confronted him. A mothers intuition is what Jerry called it. She would not leave his sight for the next couple days, never giving an explanation for her sudden fixation of her son. She would sit by the bed while he slept; watch him eat, and follow him around the house, never allowing him the opportunity to follow through with his disposition. Fed up and angry, Jerry finally came clean to his parents about what he was planning to do. He explained how this was the moment where he hit rock bottom. His parents who refused to give up on their child, coaxed him through withdrawals and eventually enrolled him in a treatment facility. There he started his road to recovery all over again. He received treatment for his depression and is still continuing therapy today. Jerry has been clean for 4 years now. I attended the meeting where he received his one-year clean chip. He had asked me to come to that meeting because it was a big moment for him and he wanted to share it with me. At the meeting, members stood up and gave sentiments and congratulations to Jerry. As he received his chip, he became emotional and thanked everyone for his or her kind words. He turned to me with tears in his eyes and expressed that after all that he has done, after all he has been through, he was grateful that his son would be there to support him. It is not easy being a family member to a drug addict. Lies, deceit, and heartbreak come with the territory. I still havent forgiven my father but I understand that his actions were being steered by another force. Recovery is a constant battle, not only for addicts, but also for the people around them. It takes the hearts of many to guide someone out of addiction. Anyone who suffers from

addiction understands that the more loving people that surround them makes it easier to climb out of that hole. Those of us who are the support system need to set aside resentment towards those who have hurt us through their addiction. That is an easy thing to say, and a much harder thing to trust, but it is essential for us to recover and heal.

Bibliography
Narcotics Anonymous. Narcotics Anonymous World Services. 2012. 2014 <www.na.org>. National Institute on Drug Abuse. "Drug Facts: Understanding Drug Abuse and Addiction." The Science of Drug Abuse and Addiction (2011). Recovery. Getting Sober: How to Quit Drinking or Abusing Drugs. 2014. 2014 <www.recovery.org/topics/getting-sober-and-drug-free/>. Robinson, Lawrence, M.A. Melinda Smith and M.S.W Joanna Saisan. "Drug Abuse and Addiction." Helpguide (2014).