Script Harding: Lady and Gentlemen, I have called you here today to discuss the issue of Prohibition Nation:

I think prohibition is more than necessary. Men today are rum-soaked, whiskey-swilled, saturn-faced rummies. My first husband Charles Gloyd was cursed by the evil spirit of alcohol. Capone: Prohibition has caused nothing but trouble. LaGuardia: Trouble! You are a disgrace to the Italian people! Who let this delinquent in here? Harding: Calm down Fiorello. We are here to discuss the issue in a peaceful environment. Capone: How, may I ask, am I a disgrace? I make money by supplying a public demand. If I break the law, my customers...some of the best people in Chicago, are as guilty as me. I do as any other man would. LaGuardia: You import illegal substances into the United States of America! Nation: The public is plagued by alcohol! How could you support it by supplying it?You racketeer! Capone: They call me a racketeer, but I call myself a businessman, see?. Yes, it's bootlegging while it's on the trucks, but when your host at the club, in the locker room, or on the Gold Coast hands it to you on a silver tray, it's hospitality. LaGuardia: Although I am against prohibition like you, the public elected me as mayor of New York because there is no Democratic or Republican way of cleaning the streets, Prohibition was created to rid the world of dirty dealers like you. Now let's drive the bums out of town! If you want alcohol, make it yourself. Nation: Your method doesnt work. The only way to rid the world of alcohols curse is to take matters into my own hands. I am a bulldog running along at the feet of Jesus, barking at what he doesn't like. God has directed me to the Stork Club.. (Leaves) Harding: We probably dont want to know where she is right now. Gentlemen, let us continue our conversation. LaGuardia: Yes, as I was saying Capone, your business is not only illegal, but it has caused heedless amounts of violence and has done nothing but hurt Chicago. Capone: Look, I don't want to die. Especially I don't want to die in the street, punctured by machine gun fire. That's the reason I've asked for peace. I've begged those fellows to put away their pistols and talk sense. They've all got families, too. I know I've tried since the first pistol was drawn in this fight to show them that there's enough business for all of us without killing each other like animals in the street. Competition needn't be a matter of murder, anyway. But they don't see it. LaGuardia: I now see that we share similar views on prohibition, but you are still a murderer

and a criminal. H. L. Mencken: On that note, lets go to commercial break. We will be back in a minute! Commercial Commercial LaGuardia: Have you been longing for the taste of alcohol ever since prohibition started? Al Capone: Well, you could buy it from me! LaGuardia: I mean legally, Capone, but anyways, now you can make homemade beer! LaGuardia: Just mix near beer with a little malt extract, ferment it, and you're done! Bly: Sorry to interrupt you LaGuardia, but we have breaking news. Carrie Nation was caught raiding the Stork Club at 132nd West and 58th Street. Nation destroyed a bar single-handedly with her signature hatchet. She just fled from the scene. Look here she comes!! Any words Carry? Nation: Smash, ladies, smash!! Another saloon for God!!!! Bly: Thank you Carrie. Back to you at the studio. End Commercial H. L. Mencken: And we are back. Remember, you are listening to President Warren G. Harding and his guests Fiorello LaGuardia, Al Capone, and Carrie Nation--- what happened to Carrie anyways? Nation: (enters) Sorry, I had some business to take care of. Capone: Alright, alright, lets get on with this, see? I have built my organization upon fear. If violence can be avoided, I will avoid it. But some, like the Moran gang just dont understand that. LaGuardia: To be able to build an organization on fear, it takes violence. You say you are a peaceful man, but I am not so sure. Prohibition cannot be enforced for the simple reason that the majority of American people do not want it enforced and are resisting its enforcement. Nation: I will do anything to ensure prohibition. Every saloon will be destroyed all suppliers will be depleted of resources at the hand of my hatchet. It is the peoples responsibility from God to prevent people falling under the curse of alcohol. I will do anything to prevent alcoholics like my former husband. Prohibition is necessary and will work if appropriate means are taken. LaGuardia: In order to enforce prohibition in New York City I estimated at the time would require a police force of 250,000 men and a force of 200,000 men to police the police. Capone: Lets get the Presidents view on this the 18th amendment.

Harding: I dont really have a solid opinion on the topic. I can see the pros of having it in place, temperance and so on, but I also see the difficulties that come with trying to enforce it and how it promotes illegal actions. Nation: You are a dirty scoundrel.You drink alcohol in the white house. You heavy drinker, you!! Men like you all are what is tearing down America!! That includes you Capone for supplying the evil and you LaGuardia for supporting it! Capone: Watch yourself Carrie, you dont want to end up like your mother, locked up in the loony bin. Harding: Women! This 18th amendment takes away my liquor, and now the 19th amendment wants to make the vote legal for women like you?! Pick one America, cause I cant deal with both. Nation: Dont be surprised if you find my hatchet at your front door...anti-prohibitionists! Men are despicable. LaGuardia: In the end, it is impossible to tell whether prohibition is a good thing or a bad thing. It has never been enforced in this country. Capone: LaGuardia has a point there, and as long as you dont come between me and my business, dont expect any trouble from me. Thinking like that will do you good. (directed at LaGuardia) Harding: That ends our discussion. Thank you for showing us the advantages and disadvantages of prohibition. God bless America!