My soul to keep

I walked into my dark room after a nice hot shower and slowly I slipped under the covers. The cold sheets interrupted my easy going slumber. So then I had to lay in the same spot to regain the warmth I once had and while awake an old prayer came to me. Now I lay me down to sleep and pray the lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take. A prayer many have heard as a child before bedtime. A routine that is required after a hot bath, after youve change into your jammies, and after youve brushed your teeth. Once upon a time I was subjected to practice that same routine. To sit on my knees at the edge of my bed with both hands pressed together and recite those exact words. My house wasnt exactly the religious house but my parents tried their best to mak e the Christian faith apart of the family for my brother and I. For a while it was all about the early Sunday mornings getting ready for church that was on the other side of the city. For a while it was all about saying a prayer before eating dinner and saying a prayer before going sleep. I have no idea when all the teachings about the Christian faith ended but I know that I did not care because I had no interested in the practice at all. As a child you do what you are told whether you like the idea or not. Sure I got up for church and sat in the rows of the crowded audience but I did not enjoy being there or got the point. We were in Gods house yet I did not feel the sprit in me to celebrate like the others. Even when my whole family got baptized I did not feel that I needed it or wanted to. There was something in me that felt like the whole church scene and the people were unnecessary.

As I laid in my bed in the darkness the sheets are now warm enough for me to sleep, but the thought about the prayer still reside in my head. When I thought about the religion the prayer came from I thought about the stories children are often told. Like the legends and the fairytales all having happy endings and if they do right there is a reward waiting. Those stories all have the same elements as the bible. It too is filled with stories, stories that todays people base their lives from. What I dont understand is how people can base those stories as actual facts and that God was truly there when Santa and the tooth fairy are classified as fictional beings? Turning over and over in my bed thinking about my question to myself and getting angry because I had reach the point of no return to sleep. I thought to answer the question and my answer made me realize that I have no problem with any type of religion. Some people need a higher being in their lives to give them purpose to live on. I ju st dont like when people say their religion is an excuse for their actions or abuse their beliefs and turn on others who think differently. That last point in my answer made me flash to a time where ignorance was at its highest, Freshman year of high school. A time where the students felt a little close to adult hood and had a little more freedom. At that time I did not have much confidence in myself but I did have confidence in my beliefs. On the day in question it was 2nd period in Mrs. Christisean English class. Every one hurried into the room as the bell rung and as they all went to their seats they noticed the woman standing at the podium was not all Mrs. Christisean. My name is Ms. Tully , and today as you see your teacher Mrs. Christisean is not present Ms. Tully stated. The whole class yelled to the point that their excitement filled my whole body to yell with them. Each of

my class mates turned to their neighbor continuing their pervious conversation. The room then began to become loud. Quiet Ms. Tully yelled. She stood there looking over the class giving us all the glance that told us she was not playing around. Now, Mrs. Christisean did not leave you any work for today. So I guess it is alright for you all to talk quietly among yourself for the remaining class period. Everyone got up to move around, to find that one or group of people they wanting to chat with for the rest of class. I sat in the last row on the left side of the class room and did not feel like moving since the only person I talked to was already sitting next to me she was a good associate of mine name Ashely. Now Ashley was one of those girl that was really tall. It was obvious that she wasnt much of a girly girl from her attire. She always wore big t-shirts and loose fitting jeans and did not seem to interested in styling her hair. It was either in a ponytail or brushed back with a headband sitting on top. Another member of the group was a boy name Jeremy. I did not really talk to him but because he was in good terms with Ashely and he sat in the row ahead of ours he became a part of the circle. Jeremy was one of those cool boys. Everyone knew him, he was one of the loudest kids in the class, and hed always had an opinion. Twenty minutes into class and someone turned on some music that was blasting through their phone. Ms. Tully looked up from the book she was reading but she seem to not mind the music as long as it was not loud for other class rooms to hear. The song was Bed Rock by young money group featuring Llyod and everyone in the whole room knew it. It was clear since the room was filled with every voice singing along to the words.

After the song went off everyone went back to their group discussions. Jeremy began the conversation about what happen at church that Sunday. It was clear that he and Ashely went to same church since they were both laughing and giving details about the event. Well I just relaxed at home and watched tv. I said. You didnt go to church? Jeremy questioned while giving me a look like something was wrong with me. No, I dont go to church at all. Havent been in like six years I stated with a smile on my face. I figured the six years statement would make someone who goes every Sunday laugh, but that was not the case. So what? Are you like an Atheists? Jeremy quickly questioned. I came back with a sharp answer No, Im just not religious. Jeremy turned back around in his chair with a smile on his face and said to the person in front of him She dont believe in God. He quickly turned bac k to Ashely and I and said straight to my face Youre going to hell. My heart sank a little not because of his words but because it was so loud that he gain the attention of the other students. I saw their heads turn and that made me uncomfortable since I did not like all eyes on me. Once everyone began to continue on what they were previously doing I confronted Jeremy No Im not going to hell I dont believe that. Yes you are thats what it says in the bible he replied back. I stared down at the papers on my desk and thought to myself that damn bible. If your God is as good as they say he is then I dont believe hell send me to hell all because I dont go to church I said. It was good timing that the class bell rung. I was so ready to get out of that uncomfortable and awkward situation. The memory made me arose from the bed there was no way I was going to sleep now. I was not angry then, but now I felt like I wanting to hit something or eat some chocolate.Some people in this world are just too close mined and arrogant. They are so adapt into their own world to the

point nothing else can get through. What Jeremy said to me that day only made me aware of the reaction I might have to go through in life. There are some negative people so called religious that will be the first to judge you the moment they sense you are different. His comment made my decision not to focus on religion so clear. People put their beliefs to much in a book instead of just feeling on their own. I am important and special without a faith in God and so is everyone else that lives on this rock no matter their beliefs I thought as I stood in front of the mirror. I know that not all religious people are arrogant and judgmental. There are actual some good religious people that are using their faith for good and know that not every word should be taken in account. Like a good story that help those carry on, to do better, and stay positive or even fall asleep peacefully faith can be included as the same category. Who care if it is real or not as long as it works and you are happy.