SAT Writing Section: Improving Sentences

1. Improving Sentences Questions

2. Modifiers
3. Terse Language

Improving Sentences

So far, we have spent our time devoted to studying the kinds of grammar rules you will need to know
to excel on ISE questions. However, there is one other major type of question in the SAT Writing
section - the Improving Sentences question. Unlike ISE questions, which only require you to point
out what is wrong with a sentence, Improving Sentences questions require you to make a correction to
the sentence such that the new sentence conveys the original meaning with the correct grammar. For
example, a simple IS question may be:

4. I firmly disagree with the idea, which we may disobey perceived unjust laws.

A. disagree with the idea, which we may disobey

B. disagree with the idea that we may disobey

C. disagree that we can't obey

D. agree that we do have to obey

E. disagree with our obedience not being required

In the original sentence, the error is that the word "which" is used incorrectly - it should be "that."
Answer B corrects this error. Note that answer A is the same as the original sentence. Answer A will
always be the same as the original sentence, which is your way of saying that "the original is better
than all of the other choices."

One of the reasons that IS questions can be so much harder than typical ISE questions is that you must
be able to make an appropriate correction to the sentence. Before you can make a correction, though,
you must first determine exactly what is wrong with the original sentence. So, we have the following
strategy for answering IS questions:

1. Determine the error, if any, in the original sentence

2. Identify what your solution would be (without regard to the choices)

3. See which choice most closely matches your solution

It is important to remember that when you make corrections to these sentences, you are trying to
change the sentence as little as possible for it to be correct. For example, the sentence:

6. He was so tired that he didn't hardly notice the oncoming car.

... is obviously incorrect. "didn't hardly" is a double negative and is therefore an incorrect formation in
English. However, there are multiple ways to correct this sentence. Both of the corrections below are
gramatically correct, but one is simply closer to the original sentence and meaning than the other. It is
also less clumsy:

C) Tired, he didn't notice the oncoming car.

D) He was so tired that he didn't even notice the oncoming car.

Both of the sentences above convey the same meaning; some people would even find C more readable
than D. However, D is a better correction to the original sentence. It deviates the least from the
original.

The most common errors that are tested in IS questions are structural errors involving the following big
three:

• Parallelism: We have covered this before, but in brief, elements of a list or a structure should
be in the same gerund or verbal form. For example: We walked to the store, we biked to the
mall, and we ran to the beach. Incorrect: We walked to the store, we are biking to the mall, and
we also went on a run to the beach."
• Modifier Errors: Modifiers change parts of speech, typically verbs. Misplaced, dangling, or
other modifier errors can cause confusion in the sentence. "The siren blowing, James barely
avoided the coming train." Correct: "James barely avoided the coming train with the siren
blowing."
• Compound Structure: The use of and, or, and nor should be appropriate. Correct: "Either you
clean your room or you will feel the consequences." Incorrect: "Either you clean your room but
you will the consequences."

Modifiers

Modifiers are key components of any language, including English. We use modifiers in everyday
speech without realizing it, and modifiers are often employed in literature to better convey a message.
However, incorrect modifier usage can be confusing and even misleading, so it helps to know how to
correctly use modifiers. IS questions often test you on your ability to understand and correct modifier
errors, so we will spend our time today covering modifiers, modifier errors, and ways to correct those
errors.
What is a modifier?

Simply put, a modifier is any word that that can be used to describe another word. So, adverbs and
adjectives are basic types of modifiers. Many times, a modifier may not seem like a modifier. For
example:

Running towards the train, I panted for breath.

Running towards the train is a phrase that modifies the subject "I."

Here are some other examples of sentences with modifiers:

• Hopefully, we will have better luck this year.

• Specifically, what is it that you want?
• The man, seeing that I would not give him any change, walked away angrily.

What are modifier errors?

Modifier errors occur when a modifier is used in an ambiguous or meaningless way. For example, the
following sentence can convey two meanings:

Hopefully, he will win this year.

The obvious meaning is that: "I hope he will win this year." But it could also mean "He will win
hopefully this year." See the problem? Thankfully, the College Board doesn't test on these kinds of
modifier errors. But, more obvious errors are often tested:

Speeding down the highway, I watched the car from my office.

Obviously, "speeding down the highway" does not modify "I" because the subject is in his office. The
proximity of the modifier to "I" seems to imply that the modifier acts on the subject when in fact, it
should act on the subject "car." The correct sentence would be:

I watched the car speeding down the highway from my office.

Of course, there are other ways to correct this sentence, but this is one example of a way to address the
modifier error. Consider this sentence:

Being at a very low price, I bought the new magazine.

Obviously, "I" cannot be modified by "being at a very low price" - that's slavery! The intended
meaning here is:

I bought the magazine at a very low price.

Watch out for the placement of modifiers as well - they can be rather tricky. How about this sentence?

I paid for the new car with a credit card.

It sounds okay, and in normal speech it would be, but a clearer version of the statement would be:

With a credit card, I paid for the new car.

In the first sentence, it was unclear if you paid for the car USING A credit card or if you paid for a car
that CAME WITH a credit card.

Whenever you see a modifier underlined in part of an IS question, ask yourself these questions:

1. What does the modifier modify?

2. Is the modified word in the correct place?

3. Does the sentence make logical and grammatical sense with the modifier in place?

If the answer to any of these questions is no, you should consider correcting a modifier error.

Our next and final lesson will be on terse language in the IS section.
 Terse Language

Terse language is also known as concise language, and the idea is basically that you want to convey
what you're trying to say using a reasonable number of words. For example, the following two
sentences convey the same message:

• I walked down the street quickly so that I wouldn't be late.

• Since I could be late, I, walking down the street, did so very quickly.

Which sentence is easier to understand? Most people would quickly choose the first, and they would
all be correct. Although it is true that both sentences mean the same thing, the first conveys the
message using "terse" language.

On the SAT Writing: IS portion, you will be asked many questions that test your knowledge of how to
use and apply terse language principles to the incorrect sentences. For example, the following sentence
is incorrect as written (see if you can find the error):

4. He was not only commended for his excellence in mathematics and success in science, but also
for his being a formidable scholar of the arts.

So, let's apply our "three-step" principle to answering this question. The sentence above has an error in
parallel structure (where is it?). You should note this either mentally or by writing a quick word on the
test like "parallelism." Second, make your own suggestion - that is, mentally determine how you would
correct the sentence error. Since the error is in parallel structure, you should perhaps change "his being
a formidable scholar" to his "scholarship." This matches the other forms in the parallel structure: "his
excellence in ... success in science." Finally, find the answer choice that most closely matches your
change:

A. but also for his being a formidable scholar of the arts

B. yet also for his being a formidable scholar of the arts

C. and, being a formidable scholar of the arts, he was also awarded for that

D. but also for his formidable nature as an eminent scholar of the arts

E. but also for his scholarship of the arts

Now, E should jump out you as the "right" answer. After all, it exactly matched our above prediction.
Why is D wrong? It does fit parallel structure, but it is too wordy. You are asked to pick the best-
worded change, and E is exactly that - concisely worded.
Below are some common errors that occur in ISE answer choices related to wordiness. If you see these
choices, avoid them like the plague!

1. Avoid "BEING" and the gerunds!

Now, this is not an iron rule. Sometimes, you will see that the correct answer choice has an "-ing"
ending. But most of the time, regard the word "being" in the answer choice as a sign that it is not
correct. Unless you have a good reason to choose the choice with the word "being" in it, don't do it.
The reason is because "being" usually implies incorrect parallel structure and over-wordiness.

2. Look for run-on sentences

If two independent clauses (with two subjects and verbs) are not connected by a semicolon (";") or a
coordinating conjunction (and/but/for/or/nor/not/yet/so), the union of them is considered a "run on
sentence." If you see a run-on sentence as an answer choice or the original sentence, you should
immediately note that it is incorrect. Here are the cures for run-ons:

• Separate with a period

• Separate with a semicolon
• Separate with the APPROPRIATE coordinating conjunction

3. Look for the fragments

If an answer choice or the original sentence is a fragment, it is wrong. You can spot a fragment as any
dependent clause without an independent clause, or any sentence without a subject and a predicate. For
example:

Walking down the street.

This is not a sentence because the entire phrase "Walking down the street" must be dependent on
another subject or must be the subject of a sentence. Similarly,

Yesterday, the dog barking at my neighbor.

This is incorrect because there is no verb. "Barking" is not used as a verb in this sense, so it should be
changed to "bark."

4. And vs. That

Here is a subtle error that many people miss. See if you can detect what is wrong with the following
sentence:
Abby bought a new dog and it has brown hair.

Although the sentence is correct in terms of grammar, it has syntax issues. It is simply overly wordy,
because "and it" can be replaced by "that," which makes "has brown hair" a dependent clause.
Otherwise, it is two independent clauses: Abby bought a new dog. It has brown hair. The correct
sentence would read:

Correct: Abby bought a new dog that has brown hair.