Boost Your Body-Image With NLP Ebook

Just a couple of quick words I started writing this book with the intention to add value to those who
are on the same body-image journey I was on, or who are exploring ways to build on the breakthroughs theyve already had, and help any others that they may come who are on a similar path. Any income I derive from this book is secondary, and most certainly a latter priority. If you decided to buy this book from me Thank you for supporting my work! When you decide to support my work it helps me to produce more content like this, so I can go onto help many more people. Every book sold gets me one step closer to a happier world, where many more people are introduced to the idea that happiness around your body doesnt come from changing how you look on the outside, but from changing how you think about yourself on the inside. This is the primary message Im delivering. If you did not buy this book I hope that you get a lot of value from it, and that you really enjoy reading and applying it as much as I enjoyed writing it. If it really helps you to breakthrough, please consider paying for the book retrospectively by buying a physical or electronic copy from http://nickritchielive.com and going on to share it with your friends. Please feel free to share this book with your friends.
BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 1
When you change the way you look at your body, the body you look at changes. ~Nick Ritchie
Table of Contents
How I Started....4 Body-Image Explained.6 Body-Image & NLP.8 About NLP..11 How NLP Was Created13 Learning NLP Basics.16 Sensory Acuity.18 Submodalities.20 Rapport25 Reframing..32 Anchoring..35 Meta Model..41 Milton Model..52 Hypnotic Script..75 Scale Tipping79 Modelling..81 Empowering Yourself85 Where to Now89 About The Author90
How I Started
Growing up for me was really no different from anyone else. I had the ups and downs of going through the traditional schooling system, battling my own inner demons and outer nemesis. It always seemed as though life was constantly throwing me hardballs From the get-go my father was sentenced to life imprisonment as my 17 year old teen mother was trying to bring up a two year old me, while giving birth to my younger brother. I struggled through school with bullies constantly using me as a bulls eye for their latest amusements, and teachers constantly telling me I wasnt good enough and that I needed to work harder if I wanted to get a good job. But somewhere along the line, I also developed a range of issues around the way I looked, and at the age of around 10 years old, I found myself screaming hateful thoughts at myself in front of the mirror. This way of thinking about myself went on to affect the way I thought of others, and subsequently, the way they treated me. Later on, I was fortunate enough to attract some mentors into my life who really helped me to breakthrough a lot of my past baggage and teach me an entirely new way of thinking and attitude towards life. When I first heard of NLP I was sitting across from one of my business mentors as he was sharing his insights with me about personal development and how the rate in which you grow as a person, was in direct relation to the rate in which your business grows. He leaned in and said, Nick, if you want to grow a highly successful (and profitable) business, youre going to have to commit to growing yourself every single day. Several of my business (and personal) mentors during this time all felt the same way, and so I thought to myself, There must be something to all of this personal growth stuff! And Ive never looked back NLP just happened to be one of the tools my mentor used to help create change with the people he worked with, and when I asked him how he came to develop such an extraordinary ability to help people breakthrough their issues he shared that he had sat an NLP course and that taught him a lot of very useful techniques BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 4
in belief system change, and altering peoples perceptions and subsequently, their reality in a way that served them towards a happier more fulfilled life. Well that sounded really cool to me, and so the seed was planted, that I needed to grow, and that one of the things I could do along my journey to grow, was to learn NLP, and thats just what I did.
Body-Image Explained
Body-Image refers to how a person feels about their physical body, and this is broken down into how they feel about the level of aesthetics and sexual attractiveness they think they possess. Aesthetics encompassing the shape, weight and proportions of the body, and sexual attractiveness referring to how sexy they think they are (or are not) to the opposite sex (or same sex if one is homosexual). From the moment we are born as a (mostly) clean slate, there are many factors in our environment both inside and outside of us that can create poor body-image from cultural and social ideals, to past personal experiences along with what some say are biological predispositions. Biological predispositions in my opinion, are misguided in that we are all predisposed to the elements around us, yet how we respond to those elements determines the result we get. We know for a fact, that poor nutrition leads to a lack of function in the brain which can result in various symptoms such as depression and anxiety, but as with everything we experience, the power lies within ourselves to create the changes we want. Poor Body-Image is also not something we are born with, therefore it is something that is gradually developed over-time. For many people, poor bodyimage is perpetuated through a series of frequent comparisons. Comparing their hips to that person, their arms to that person, their waist and legs to that person, and their butt and shoulders to that other person do you notice where this is going? The more comparisons you make, the worse your body-image becomes. Some comparisons were made at a very early age, through a childs impression of the world, and thus, tend to be much more distorted than a comparison made as an adult. Sometimes that requires us to dig into our past and turn over a new leaf with that memory (so to speak), and other times it doesnt. As with everything, the approach to therapy varies depending on the individual.
History shows us that in many cultures there has existed ideals among society of the way the perfect body should look, which the people have always struggled to live up to. To show how far reaching these ideals are in our own western culture we only need to look around to see how prevalent the emphasis on beauty truly is. In fact, a large study was recently completed by the American Psychological Association finding that the sexualization of women was contributing to increased anxiety associated with body-image. In fact, body-image has become such a problem in our western culture that we dont even notice it exists; because almost everyone has the same issues! In one of the largest international studies on body-image conducted (which spanned over 10 countries), 3200 women were interviewed and the researchers found that only 2% considered themselves beautiful, and nearly 50% believed they were too fat. There are many factors associated with developing a poor body-image, and so awareness around what causes it, and how it is perpetuated helps provide us with a launching pad to breakthrough it.
Body-Image & NLP

Body-Image in itself, has a lot to do with how we perceive the world around us, and NLP is an extremely valuable tool in changing our MAP (view of the world) which subsequently changes our experience (for the better). I found this with my own experience of learning about NLP, and how my mind works, I was better able to let go of old negative habits, and replace them with newer more empowering habits. Habits of thinking, as I call them, are perpetuated by us in our repeated efforts of thought. Much of body-image is unconscious, meaning we are not consciously (on the surface level) always aware of the thoughts that are running through our minds, and as such, NLP is a powerful tool in modifying our unconscious thinking habits to create a completely different conscious outcome. Although in some people, negative body-image can lead to mental illnesses such as eating disorders, depression or anorexia, this is not always the case for everyone. But do keep in mind that men are not exempt from negative bodyimage; Recent research suggests that many men wish to become leaner and more muscular like they see on the covers of mens magazine covers, or what they perceived as children when playing with action figurines or watching cartoons of muscular heroes. In a recent study, western men, compared to their Asian counter-parts, wished to gain an additional 30 pounds of muscle mass than they perceived they currently had. In a survey completed by Psychology Today, researchers found that 56% of women and 40% of men were dissatisfied with their overall appearance. To the modern western man, it appears as though a link between the amount of muscle mass and their level of masculinity has been created, which is in my opinion, a false expectation. NLP is valuable in making adjustments to the way in which these men are perceiving masculinity, through a series of processes that I will explain and (share how to use), throughout this book. In a recent survey women were asked, what was the first thing they noticed about other woman when out with friends, and the majority of the respondents replied, How fat she is. Continuing, the researchers found that women had an average BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 8
of 13 negative things to say about themselves each day such as, I hate my stomach, I hate my thighs or Im ugly. In an even larger international survey, researchers found that 90% of women aged 15 to 64 want to change at least one thing about their body, most of all their body weight. So we understand that the majority of people are affected in some way by poor body-image, its just that because this way of thinking about ourselves is so widely accepted amongst society, its difficult for many people to realize they have a problem, or could even do something about it if they knew they were struggling. Body-Image is so emphasized throughout our culture that even girls as young as five have strong ideas about weight, such as fat is bad and skinny is good. These perceptions around the body are created so early for most people that we tend to accept them as truth, and thus, live our lives according to that truth (or world-view). When in actual reality, those perceptions are completely false because ideals are subjective, and that means we are living our lives according to a false sense of reality, in much the same way that a person with depression believes that the world is an unhappy place to live in, when in actual reality, the world is what we make of it. Body-Image can be measured by comparing yourself to images of what you think the ideal body should look like. When making the comparisons, the difference between how you perceive your body, and the ideal body is what determines the level of dissatisfaction (if any). Researchers have found a link between body dissatisfaction and women who smoke cigarettes, along with a discomfort around engaging in behaviors associated with intimate relationships, such as being able to express their sexuality fully. What if there were a series of switches we could flick that would automatically change the way we perceived our bodies and ourselves, so we could go on to feel completely comfortable with ourselves (and enjoy intimate relationships in the way we desire)? With NLP there are a variety of techniques and tools that allow for that to happen, which will be explored in this book. As you continue reading I want you to decide to set your intention (on what you wish to achieve) by absorbing the information contained within this book. The BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 9
clearer you are on what you wish to gain from reading this book, the more value you will receive as a result of that intention. Now that youve set your intention on what you would most like to gain from reading this book, lets continue exploring NLP together
About NLP
Later on when people would ask me what NLP was and how it helped me, I found myself saying things like, Have you heard of Anthony Robbins? Thats what he does, he helps people breakthrough stuff, thats sort of what NLP is. And I would get a slightly ambiguous look from people, as if they sort of new what I was talking about, but were also still confused. Then I tried having them imagine that their mind was like a computer, and that NLP was the software that allowed you to reconfigure the way the computer operated. That got me a little further, but I still had similar confused looks, and thats because NLP really is such a wide field of study. Theres so many applications, that it can be tricky to define it in one single conversation (unless the person has a good half an hour with you). NLP can also be defined as a tool or skill that allows you to find out the difference between people who excel in a particular area, and those who dont. Once youve found what the difference is, NLP can then allow you to take those bread crumbs of excellence (so to speak), and follow the trail so that you can eventually reach that same level of excellence quicker and easier than the originator. Almost like uploading a new piece of software on your computer. If you wanted to excel in acting, then you would use NLP to study some of the Oscar award winning actors such as Al Pacino or Robert De Niro. NLP would allow you to find out what they do in their minds before getting on set and acting that allowed them to create the type of results on film that you see today like the movie Scarface. Maybe you want to feel really good about your body, and so you seek out someone who feels really good about their body, and you use NLP to study the way they think about themselves, their body, and how they perceive the world, and then you apply what youve learned to your own experience by uploading that program for your own use. Kind of like in the movie, The Matrix, where Neo gets plugged in and taught a range of martial arts in only a few hours and in that defining moment he sits up from the chair and looking at Morpheus says, I know Kung Fu BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 11
This is why NLP is called, The art and science of personal excellence. NLP is broken down into three core parts: Neuro This relates to the way we process our experience through the five senses of touch, sight, smell, hearing, and taste. As the signals get interpreted by us, they are then converted into signals that are sent through our central nervous system where they are then converted in the brain as meaning. Linguistic This relates to the way in which we perceive our world through verbal or non-verbal communication. Information enters our central nervous system, and then gets decoded by our brain so that we can assimilate that information. This includes pictures, sounds, tastes, smells and words (self-talk). Programming This relates to how we go through a particular pattern inside our head that leads to a specific outcome almost every time. To sum it up, NLP is the technology of using the already pre-set processes of the mind to create a specific result quickly and easily.
How NLP Was Created

In relative terms, NLP is still in its infancy compared to many other behavioral change technologies, however the basics of NLP began a very long time ago. A man by the name of Alfred Korzybski studied the behavioral patterns of the people in society of the 1940s and later released a book called Science and Sanity that broke down the key challenges that people had who were suffering from any number of diagnosed mental issues. He shared a particularly interesting phenomenon when he said, Almost all psychological problems are the result of the inability of a person to traverse logical levels. Whats interesting is that he described that in the future there would be a way to describe the processes of a human being, and that is what we today call Neuro-Linguistic-Programming (NLP). In the 1970s Richard Bandler and Frank Pucelik were friends who had a desire to heal themselves of their unpleasant pasts, and in turn, they came across Gestalt Therapy (a form of psychotherapy). They studied in great detail what Fritz Perls (the founder of Gestalt Therapy) was teaching as part of the program, and as a result, they found they were really good at copying the processes Fritz was describing (modeling). In fact, Bandler and Pucelik became so good at modeling Gestalt Therapy, that they began teaching it in classrooms as a form of therapy for other people who wanted to breakthrough their own past emotional baggage. Their techniques and teachings became so well known that they caught the attention of John Grindler, a professor of linguistics. Grindler just watched them for a few weeks and then after careful consideration, approached the two men and asked them if they knew how what they were doing was working. Grindler had a gift of being able to breakdown the specific structure (linguistically) of what they were doing, and offer that up as a process that could be duplicated. Before working with him, Bandler and Pucelik did not really know why their methods worked. They had just become really good at copying what
worked. They all began working together, and as a result, formulated a linguistically structured science which was then called Meta. Over the years, they created Neuro-Linguistic-Programming after working tirelessly with no financial backing and ridicule from people who were apparently well studied in psychotherapy and psychology. During this time, Pucelik split from the group and went his own way due to various disagreements. Bandler and Grindler then locked arms and began even more rigorous exploration of this new technology. In the early days, there was much experimentation and testing from various people who decided to join them on their quest to advance the understandings of human internal processes for the benefit of people world-wide. During this time, many people contributed to the development of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming and that is where the idea of NLP comes from; having the ability to find someone whos reached a particular level of excellence in any given field, and to learn exactly how that result is produced. That all starts from a simple question of, How do I take that behavior and apply it to myself to get the same results? You then follow the bread crumbs (clues) to achieve that same level of excellence. The three people they copied (or modelled) were Fritz Perls, Virginia Satir and Milton Erickson. As these people were considered at the time to be the top behavioral change experts in the world, creating huge shifts in the people whom they worked with. NLP all begins with an attitude of curiosity to find out how someone does something, and when we look at a human being who does something that appears truly magical and remarkable we only have to ask the question, How does this person behave this way, despite their current circumstances? Bandler and Grindler went on to produce their first two books in 1975 and have gone on to release many more volumes since then. Once they had produced those books, their material began being picked and read by psychotherapists and psychologists (and other behavioral change professionals) with many of their previous nemesis (people who ridiculed them) calling them for advice and help BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 14
with many of their own patients (funnily enough). After the huge interest in these books, and their work, they continued to develop the technology of NLP and studied Milton Erickson whos apparently one of the best hypnotherapists of our time, and from this, published another book called Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton Erickson, Volumes 1 and 2. These books contained the basis of a new model called the Milton Model, which works by using vague language, and inserting generalizations, distortions and deletions into peoples language and thoughts. Fascinatingly enough, the Milton Model is almost the complete opposite of their original Meta Model, but both somehow managed to get very consistent results. This new birth in behavioral change technology proved Alfred Korzybski correct; by traversing logical levels it is possible for problems to just disappear. But this all turned out to be just the tip of the iceberg for Bandler and Grindler, as they began exploring these concepts and information further, taking their original models and expanding them further. Perceptual positions, representational systems and reframing submodalities were all new tools they had created following their initial work, and began to be picked up more and more by people in the behavioral change professions. This prompted Bandler and Grindler to produce additional books and seminars as their work became more popular and sought after. The work that they produced from the 1970s to today, has created a large body of information, tools and techniques that have not only improved the lives of many others, but have gone on to inspire many other people to learn NLP and create their own versions, books and seminars on the subject. These days NLP is regarded world-wide as being one of the most influential tools for producing positive results in the way people perceive themselves, the world within them, and the world around them. This technology became mega-popular starting in the 1980s and 1990s with huge personalities like Anthony Robbins using it to improve the lives of millions of people across the globe. As our awareness as a society increases around the areas of personal empowerment and responsibility, NLP and the tools that it offers will become more easily available and accessible every day. BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 15
Learning NLP Basics

Why would you want to learn the basics of NLP? Sometimes one of the most empowering things someone can do when they suffer from poor body-image and self-esteem, is to learn how their mind works. Learning how your mind works, will in-turn allow you to become more aware of what is going on when you feel a negative emotion (or positive one for that matter), and to make adjustments accordingly. The first step to any change, is awareness. Once you are aware of something, you can change it. But if youre running around looking for a hole in the ground with a blindfold on, youre going to trip over it a few times, but youll never find the gold buried deep within until you regain your sight and find the map. NLP increases your awareness of yourself and the way you think about your body, thus lifting the blindfold of ignorance, and shining a new light on the way you perceive yourself and the world around you. In saying that, the beauty of NLP is that it doesnt matter what areas of NLP you learn, because every single technique can be applied to improve any area of your life immediately (not only body-image). Now there are some basic concepts that we can cover right away to get you started with boosting your body-image using NLP, so lets get started with those, which are: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. Sensory Acuity Submodalities Rapport Reframing Anchoring Meta Model Milton Model Modelling
The area of sensory acuity is really valuable in becoming an effective communicator (with others, and yourself), and for becoming good at applying NLP to your own life. It gives you the ability to notice the most subtle changes in BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 16
yourself and others, so that you can easily sync with them. As you become familiar with these slight changes in others, youll be able to derive clues from what they might be thinking at the time that have resulted in the changes to the outside of them. From noticing these changes, it allows us to develop a high level of rapport, which is highly important in our relations with others, whether that be in a personal relationship with a friend, family member or lover, or in a business context like sales or leadership. Submodalities relate to how we process our internal experience (how we structure our thoughts). Rapport is all about strengthening our connection with others, quickly and easily. Reframing is the process of shifting our perception of an experience (usually) after it has occurred. Have you ever heard a song come on, and then found yourself remembering a past experience and almost reliving it? Anchoring is the process in which you respond according to a particular signal. Your response can be programmed to help you to reach a desirable state at will, rather than be at effect all the time. The Meta and Milton Models are ways of speaking that allow you to make powerful behavioral change quickly and easily within conversation (with yourself) or another person. Modeling is the pattern where all of NLP has been created, and once youve developed this ability, youll be able to create any behavior or attitude as you so wish. During this book, Ill be sharing the basics of these six techniques along with specific stories that illustrate how to apply them, along with things you can do right away to begin using them in your everyday life starting today. As you learn and develop these techniques, youll already have a vastly higher amount of knowledge and ability to create change within yourself (and others), than most other people you know who have not yet read this book. Its my intention that by the end of this book, that youve not only learned and developed your understanding of NLP and some of the techniques, but also that youre applying them to improve the way you look at yourself, how you feel about yourself and your body, and your life is ultimately better as a result. Get excited, interested and curious, and test out this new knowledge at every chance you can during your day to day life. BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 17
Sensory Acuity
People make tiny little changes moment to moment, that most of us are completely unaware of. Interestingly enough, these changes reflect the internal thinking processes of the person at that time. When one of the creators modelled Milton Erickson, he observed that people make changes in their physiology in a split second, without knowing they are even doing it! If you stay attentive to these changes within yourself and others, youll gain new understandings of whats going on inside. In NLP, these are some of the basic areas that we focus on with a persons physiology: Breathing speed (are they breathing faster or slower?) Skin color (is it darker or lighter?) Pupil dilation (are their pupils bigger or smaller?) Skin tone (are the muscles tighter or more loose?) Lower lip size (is it bigger or smaller?) Breaking location (are they breathing from the chest or stomach?) Eye focus (are they eyes less or more focused?)
There are many other areas of the body that you can pay attention to that will allow you to gain further insight into whats going on inside someones mind, but these are a good starting point. During a speaking event, Anthony Robbins noticed one of the audience members going into a trance-like state and later he was asked how he knew, where he replied, I could tell because her eyes began dilating the more she went into trance. As your ability to read people (using sensory acuity) improves, so will your communication abilities. As a Personal Trainer (one of my past professions), I remember many occasions where I would routinely ask my clients whether or not they had stuck to their exercise program throughout the week, or if they had skipped a few days I remember one particular day a client came in and I looked up and said, Good BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 18
morning! How are you feeling on this wonderful morning?! And she said, Really good! I replied, Thats excellent, and how have you been going over the week, since I last saw you? And she said, Yeah, good I asked, Did you follow the program I laid out for you? And she answered, Yeah, kinda But I could already tell from the slight changes in her skin tone, and pupil dilation that she had skipped at least a day or two, so I said, You skipped a couple of days, huh? And she grinned, How did you know?! I replied with a laugh, Because its written all over your face, ha ha! I could have even asked her to purposely lie to me, and I would have been able to tell when she was lying and when she was not. In fact, I could quiz her and even before she opened her mouth, I could tell if what she was going to say was a lie, and what was her truth. This is an example of how sensory acuity can greatly improve your ability to read people, and to gain an understanding of how they process thought. Basically, you can read what they are thinking before they say it, based upon skin color, tightness, eye, lip and breathing changes. These are all subtle changes that can be picked up on if you have developed your sensory acuity. Many people also respond differently, so for one person their pupils dilate and their breathing becomes chesty when they lie, whereas for another none of those changes occur and instead their lip swells a little and their cheeks tighten. Now that youre aware of sensory acuity, you can begin practicing on friends, family or anyone whom you come in contact with (just for fun of course)!
Submodalities
Submodalities refer to the internal representational systems that help us to experience our environment. These are the smallest distinctions that occur at a level that most of us are completely unaware of (at least until your attention is brought upon them). If your submodalities were tiny droplets of water, your thoughts would be oceans (in a sense). Our submodalities help us to remember our experiences, whether past, present or imagined, through what we feel, see, hear, smell and taste. Each droplet of water (or submodality) contributes to the overall ocean of experience of a thought. When we change the way we experience that droplet of water, we change the thought (or the way we think). NLP breaks the submodalities down into the five main senses: Kinesthetic (Feeling): This relates to texture, temperature, pressure, location, vibration and frequency. Auditory (Sound): This relates to volume, tempo, timbre, clarity, location, pitch, tempo, rhythm, digital, duration and distance. Auditory (Digital): This relates to calculating, precise, analytics and understanding. Visual (Sight): This relates to shape, size, color, brightness, contrast, movement, speed, clarity, location, three-dimensional/flat, transparency, orientation, density, framed/panoramic, associated/disassociated. Olfactory (Smell): This relates to potency, aroma, odor, scent. Gustatory (Taste): This relates to flavor, bitterness, sour, savory.
The three main submodalities are Kinesthetic, Auditory and Visual; this is because most of us rely primarily on these representational systems for experiencing the world around us and within us - with most people having a primary reliance on one of the three (either Kinesthetic, Auditory or Visual). You can easily learn about which primary representational system someone uses by being aware of the cues they give you through the way they express themselves. A visual person Will tend to verbally communicate through using words such as, looks, appears, watched, sighted, see etc. A kinesthetic person Will communicate through words such as, feels, felt, touched, warm, rough, soft, hard, gripping etc. An auditory person Will communicate through words like, listen, hear, sounds, musical etc.
Your Primary Representation System

Which representational system do you use most predominantly? As I shared above, most people have a primary representational system of either visual, auditory or kinesthetic. You may have already worked out which one you mainly use, or if you havent yet, you can that find out by matching which description matches you the most below. Visual: Visual people gravitate towards describing their experience by saying things like, I was looking out over the crystal clear blue water, as I stood on the shoreline watching the children enjoy the bright panoramic views of the ocean. When asked about a prior experience, will usually respond by describing their thoughts as images, pictures or something they saw, and will often see these thoughts as such.
Kinesthetic: Kinesthetic people move towards describing their experience by saying things like, I could feel the crunch of the sand beneath my toes as the cool refreshing water washed over my legs, sending shivers down my spine as the icy wind cut through me, drying the water from my body. When describing a prior experience, they will regularly talk about getting a grip on something, or how much they were touched by an experience, and they will usually feel something inside as they are recalling it. Auditory: Auditory people are prone to narrating an experience with language such as, Hearing the sound of the waves crash, I turned my head to the side to listen to the gulls squawking and the children playing, as I muted my mothers voice from my mind. When recalling they will usually comment on how it rings a bell and sounds to them as they rhythmically process the experience. By now you may have enough clues to estimate which representational system is your primary. If youre not super clear on it yet, thats okay as youll still be able to continue digesting the information contained in this book, and may perhaps pick up on it as you read further.
Practical Application
Using submodalities we can quickly and easily make changes to our experience by using specific techniques that alter the perception of the perceived event. Here, I will outline a few basic patterns you can use for each representational system in order to change your experience. In much the same way putting on sunglasses, headphones or a swimsuit changes your response to sunlight, outer noises or water temperature, submodality patterns change your response to thought. For example, I might think of a time when I was last with my wife We are at the beach and I can see [visual] the sun glowing on her face, and I can feel [kinesthetic] my heart beating lovingly in my chest, as I hear [auditory] her soft voice whispering in my ear And as I see [visual example] that movie playing in my mind, I turn the brightness up, and I notice I feel stronger about the experience. This is just one example of how by using NLP adjustment patterns, I BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 22
can subsequently change my experience when I think of that particular time (in this case, for the better). Im now going to give you a series of patterns to complete, and once youve done them, I want you to revert back to the original thought, and continue reading. For Visual People: Think of a recent experience that was pleasurable for you. It could be a time when you were out with friends, with someone special, had just achieved something significant, or maybe you were enjoying time on your own. Whatever the experience, I want you to clearly focus on it in your mind, and as you do, I want you to experience what its like to [1] Change the color: Shift the color from intense bright colors to black and white. [2] Change the transparency: Make it transparent so you can see through it. [3] Change the distance: Move it from very close to very far away. For Kinesthetic People: Think of a recent experience that was pleasurable for you. It could be a time when you were out with friends, with someone special, had just achieved something significant, or maybe you were enjoying time on your own. Whatever the experience, I want you to clearly focus on it in your mind, and as you do, I want you to experience what its like to [1] Change the location: Move the location from chest to stomach, high/low. [2] Change the temperature: Shift the temperature from hot to cold. [3] Change the pressure: Make it tighter or looser. For Auditory People: Think of a recent experience that was pleasurable for you. It could be a time when you were out with friends, with someone special, had just achieved something significant, or maybe you were enjoying time on your own. Whatever the experience, I want you to clearly focus on it in your mind, and as you do, I want you to experience what its like to BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 23
[1] Change the volume: Make it louder and then quieter. [2] Change the clarity: Alter it from clear to distorted. [3] Change the tempo: Shift the tempo from fast to slow. This is an example of how changing your thoughts, changes your response. After this exercise it should become extremely apparent to you that it is the way you think about and process your experiences, that is both the source of your happiness and your frustrations, rather than anything outside of you. When we experience something outside of ourselves, our representational systems kick in and give that experience an instant meaning. If we change the way our representational systems respond, we change our internal response, and thus, our experience. There are many examples of experiences that have occurred in our lives that we have perceived completely differently than how they actually happened, because of the distortions we created through our internal filters. The same applies when we see an image of someone on a billboard with writing next to it that says, This means beautiful, or when your friend comments on how gorgeous the girl walking across the street is. Its not the writing or your friends comment that causes the problem, its your response to it. If you change the way you look at body-image and beauty, you change your response. This is all done using NLP to re-program parts of the way you think so you can perceive other peoples ideals around beauty without feeling as though its some kind of personal attack or contrast against the way you already look. We change the world around us, by changing the way we perceive it, and subsequently respond to it. This is a much faster and more effective way to build a happier world (from within), than trying to change the way the media, society or our culture portrays beauty.
Rapport
Theres a great saying out there by Anthony Robbins, and that is, People like people who are like them. Now because everyone is unique in their own way, its virtually impossible to be identical to someone in every waking minute of your life, but it is possible to notice the way they behave and then to match and mirror them for the outcome of strengthening your connection and rapport with that person. Perhaps a good example of being in rapport is when youve been with someone and its seemed like the two of you could almost finish each others sentences, as if youre sharing the one mind, as if time stood still. By developing your ability to gain rapport with others, you can find yourself sharing in that same level of connection and of being in sync with people whove youve only just met. Perhaps you may be introduced to someone of the opposite sex (or same) who youve heard a lot about, and youre wanting to make those first impressions count. Maybe youre interested in feeling comfortable with just about everyone whom you come in contact with, regardless of how you think you might look to them on the outside. Youre ability to build rapport will help with much of this and so much more. Rapport was developed during the practice of hypnosis where the person youre with feels as though time stands still, as if the only reality is the one the two of you are inhabiting. Youre in such a state of rapport with the other person that youve fully captivated the attention of their unconscious mind, and they are following you with ease. With NLP, theres no need to be engaged in that level of rapport, however youll find that during the process of being in rapport with another person, that youll be constantly be moving through waves of being more in rapport some times, and less other times, and this constant state of pulling and pushing will be a constant in most of your interactions with others and is perfectly normal. Its just in this case, youre now aware of your ability to make or break rapport, and that will dramatically improve your experience (and theirs) during your time together, however long or short that may be.
The quicker and easier you move into rapport with another person, the more you will increase your level of connection and interaction with them. The higher your level of rapport, the more powerfully and easily you will be able to resolve their presenting issue or problem. So how do you help someone to like, trust and connect with you faster and easier? We understand that communication is both verbal and non-verbal. Meaning, its not just what you say that matters, but how you say it. The how you say it part, can also be categorized under body language too, or better speaking, what you do (or dont do) with your body. Developing your ability to gain rapport, involves being acutely aware of not only your own body language, but also the body language of others. Everyone speaks in their own body-language, and as such, if you speak in someone elses language, youre much more likely to be understood by them than if you are not. Take for example, my wife and me. When we are together we often notice each other slipping into deep rapport quickly and easily. Sometimes we will look down and notice our legs and tapping at the same pace, that our breathing has slowed to the same in-out rhythm, or that we find ourselves knowing what the other person is going to say before they say it. Some people may put this down to just knowing someone well by spending extended amounts of time with them. However, regardless of the amount of time spent, its still obvious that youre easily able to get into rapport with that person. So how is that any different from meeting that stranger and hitting it off for the first time? Perhaps youve had an experience like that where youre meeting several people at a social gathering, and one particular person you come into contact with, you just find the conversation and interaction is much easier and more relaxed than with anyone else you spoke with at the gathering. At the time, you were probably unaware of that fact you were both in rapport, or how you got there, but somehow you did it. As we all do it naturally with certain people. Its just in the case of being aware of the process of rapport through NLP, you can consciously create that same level of rapport with just about anyone who you chose to come in contact with.
Over time, youll be able to develop your ability to consciously and powerfully create strong rapport with people whom you come in contact with, and this may start out as taking 5-10 minutes, and come down to as little as a couple of minutes if that. Building rapport is made of up two main components, pacing and leading. Pacing is where you begin mirroring the person for a certain period of time. You may begin with moving your body language into the same (or similar) posture theyre in, such as cross legged, or cross armed, breathing at the same tempo as them, or even scratching your head when they do (dont do this for too long, or too obviously, or it will become obvious). Once youve found a sufficient tempo in pacing, then you can shift over to leading, where you then begin moving in a different way at a different pace and they will begin following you youre leading them. Here are some things you can look out for when getting in rapport with pacing them: Words: Common experiences and associations Predicates Content chunks Key words Physiology: Posture Breathing Facial expressions Blinking Gestures Tonality: Volume (loudness) Tempo (speed) Tone (pitch) Timbre (quality) BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 27
Now that youre aware of some of the things you can look out for, you can begin studying how other people use their verbal and non-verbal language (vocal and body), and using that as a gauge to begin building rapport with others. In fact, I remember when I was much younger and I was first playing around with some of these NLP techniques, and I decided to go to a bar to test out how well this would work with complete strangers who didnt even know I existed.
Matching
I sat down at a bar-side window and found someone who was sitting alone, sipping on their drink. I made a note not to look in their direction, and using my peripheral vision, I began pacing them. When they moved their arm up to their head, I moved my arm up to my head. When they looked around to their left, I looked around to my left. When they breathed in heavily, I breathed in heavily. When they got on their phone and started talking, I put my phone up to my ear and started talking. When they took a sip of their drink, I took a sip of my drink And sure enough, after a few minutes of this, they turned around and looked me directly in the eye and smiled. So matching is really just the ability to effectively match what the other person is doing (verbally and non-verbally). If youre going to verbally match someone, then you may perhaps use the same words they use in a differently structured sentence. For example, if youve just met up with someone and they say, Ive had a great day, Ive just been relaxing down at the beach, enjoying the hot sunny weather while I read my book And you reply, Thats great, its a pretty hot sunny day today, and a great day for the beach thats for sure, what sort of book are you reading?
Mirroring
Mirroring is almost identical to matching, only if they scratch their head with their left hand, you would sit across from them and scratch your head with your right hand, and in this way you would be mirroring part of their body-language. Needless to say, our ability to gain rapport with others is not only localized to our immediate environment. We have the ability to project much more of our inner world, verbal and non-verbal communication out to the world around us that causes people in the same space and time, to naturally gravity towards us. This is why I always say that our inner world is reflected through our outer world. The way we respond to it, and the way others respond to us, is directly interwoven with our conscious and unconscious thinking processes. Just a quick note If you are matching and mirroring without the other person becoming consciously aware of it, then you are doing it well. If the other person becomes consciously aware of your matching and mirroring, then that means you are mimicking them, and this does the complete opposite of what you want. In saying that, in some cases I have been purposefully obvious with my actions and the other person hasnt noticed it. So for the majority of your interactions, its very unlikely that someone will notice what youre doing, and bring it to your attention. Only people specifically trained in NLP are more likely to pick up on what youre doing, because they are trained to look for the most subtle of cues already. How do you know when youve been pacing for long enough, and that youre finally in deep rapport with the other person? You know youre in rapport because youll gain a comfortable feeling inside, that may come to you in the expression of a warm feeling in your chest or stomach, or it may come as a calmness of mind. As you become more and more trained in using this technique, youll notice this feeling of getting into rapport a lot more profoundly.
Once youve been pacing for long enough and you can tell that youre in rapport, its time to begin testing out your leading. Im not saying that you need to turn into a drill sergeant and drive the troops into battle. What I am saying, is that you can now start doing things that the other person will be more likely to imitate (unconsciously). Back to my story, so after this person at the bar smiled at me, I wandered over smiling casually at them and asked them if they had noticed how commentator on the big screen in front of us kept repeating the same word real in almost every sentence. I placed my glass down, and then a moment later I picked it up and took a sip, and just as I did that, this person picked theirs up and did the same. I was astonished! So I tried something else, while in conversation, I assumed a similar standing position to them and began tapping my foot ever so slightly, and much to my dismay, they started doing the same almost immediately after (they were copying me!). It didnt take long before this person began treating me a lot differently, than what a supposed stranger would typically, and this is a good example of leading. If youve developed enough rapport, youll find that the other person will quickly and easily begin mirroring you and will warm to you in a way that you may not usually expect from strangers. When it comes to boosting your body-image and developing your ability to gain rapport, this is an area thats often overlooked in the change process. Often times when people with poor body-image are interacting with others, they are so caught up with whats going on inside of them (with what other people think of them), that they can completely misinterpret the signals they are receiving from others. This can cause a lot of unnecessary confusion and embarrassment when all they had to do was focus on the verbal and non-verbal responses they were receiving from the other person. And on a side note: Theres no need to be concerned about what other people are thinking of you. What other people think of you, is none of your business. Now, that weve covered that, you can begin practicing this technique anywhere you like. With friends, family, the local pet store attendant or even the retail sales BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 30
people at the mall. When Ive practiced this in those areas, Ive found that Ive often received much better service than perhaps I would have, had I not gone to the effort to develop rapport with the person serving me. Give the technique of developing rapport plenty of practice and it will reward you in more ways than one, with people close to you, people serving you, or even people youre coaching.
Reframing
Reframing refers to the adjustment of a persons sensory experience. People will often interpret an experience as negative, and then later change their perception of that experience to one of a positive nature. Reframing allows the person to change their perception immediately, as opposed to later on in the future. An example of a reframe would be when someone complains of how their outdoor picnic is being ruined by the rain thats just started pouring, and you say, Rain or no rain, its still possible to have fun. Lets cover the food and dance in the rain until it passes! Therefore the meaning of any experience, is dependent upon the frame we place upon it. A negative orientated frame will lead to a negative perception, whereas a positive frame will lead to a positive perception and experience. So when we change the frame of an event, we change the meaning, and subsequently our response to that event. For example, if someone goes to an event dressed as an angel, the meaning is different depending on whether it is Halloween or a funeral. My response to someone being pushed in the ocean, is different as an observer than as a victim. Just as we can change our response to a painting or piece of art by placing it in a different frame, we can change our response to an experience by placing the experience in a different frame this is what it means to reframe an experience. When wanting to reframe an experience, we always come from a place of wanting a positive outcome for the person whom you are reframing. Of course there are those out there who run reframes on people all the time, that lead to a negative outcome for the recipients, however they make up the few, not the majority. Here are some simple steps to follow when you wish to reframe the meaning or context of an experience that someone has perceived. Many times once we learn these steps, we also tend to reframe our own experiences
(sometimes verbally out loud, or non-verbally in our heads) to create a better response, thus a better experience in our lives. [1] Sensory Acuity: Notice how the person youre with is responding physically to the experience. They may be recalling an experience or, you may be with them in the moment. [2] Assess Submodalities: How is the person primarily interpreting the problem in their mind? Are they experiencing through the kinesthetic, auditory or visual submodalities? If you can get clear on how they are processing it, you can speak to them in that language. [3] Repeat for time: Ask the person to repeat their experience verbally to you if you need more time to create a powerful reframe. Your reframe will be the most polar opposite frame you can possibly create to the original frame they created. You want the initial reframe that you deliver to have maximum impact on the person. [4] Reframe: Deliver your reframe congruently according to the other persons submodalities and as you do this, monitor their sensory acuity to assess the changes. Youre searching for a difference in how the person is responding to the new frame on the experience. Examples of what some reframes might look like are as follows Original Frame: Shes slow Response: To slow for what purpose? Reframe: And when you find yourself absorbed in one of her books not only will you appreciate every single second she poured into it, youll also understand exactly why they fly off the shelves.
Another one may be Original Frame: Its expensive. Response: Expensive compared to what? Reframe: What would be really expensive is deciding to buy the other one which costs 10% less, but lasts half as long. By now you probably realize that by comparison, this one is an absolute bargain. In NLP we presuppose that all behavior has a positive intent, and so we are always looking for the positive intention, and finding that positive intention in each action or non-action is also a form of reframing. Typically, harming people isnt something that other people directly intend. Many times where there has been harm caused to another, there was still a positive intention for the self (person doing the harming). They may have wanted to feel powerful, in control, safe or prevent the other person from doing something again, and so for them, the positive intention lies in the protection of their own self. Another example of a reframe could be of a parents perception of their rebellious teenager, where they are just rebelling to make the parents life worse. But perhaps the teenager is rebelling because their positive intention is to become an independent, capable adult. If the parent and teenager both become aware of and accept that reframe, it will change the way they perceive the behavior. Thus, changing their response.
Anchoring
Anchoring is a term coined in the NLP world, which really just describes the process that we go through when something triggers a response within us. Its almost as if something from our environment (internal or external) triggers a particular feeling, image, sound or taste within us that we experience in that moment. Like the example I gave earlier of when youve been driving down the road and the radio comes on playing a particular song and instantly youre sent into a different reality, one where you begin reminiscing of the time when you were listening to that song in a different space or time. Perhaps the hearing of the song instantly takes you back to when you were having a pillow fight with an ex-lover while a storm was crashing outside the house all around you, and you ended up being cuddled up next to the warm fireplace under a large fluffy rug Or maybe it takes you to a time when you were a little child, listening to your mother sing along to that song, and you remember the feeling inside as you felt that familiar feeling of love and connection with her. I remember as a child watching my mother scream as she saw a spider run across the floor, and instantly I found myself feeling that same way whenever I saw a spider as a young boy. These triggers from outside ourselves, have caused a specific response within us called an anchor. The same goes for creating anchors around body-image. As a young boy I remember one day standing in the hallway as my younger brother and I waited for our mother to get ready so we could go out to the park. I peeked my head around the door into her room to see her standing in front of a mirror staring at herself in a way I had never seen before as I heard the word yuck leave her mouth. She had turned around and was looking at the way her behind fitted in a pair of jeans, and as she become frustrated at what she saw in the mirror she quickly moved to the cupboard and pulled out a pair of track pants. In that one single moment, a new anchor was created in me. How? Children model both the BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 35
positive and negative traits of their parents (more on modeling later), and as a byproduct of modeling my mother, I found myself a few years later staring in front of a mirror (triggering an anchor) screaming thoughts of hate at myself. Anchors are everywhere in our reality, and once we are aware of this fact, we can begin to take action and build the responses we want, rather than the ones we dont. There are anchors everywhere that makes us feel good, and ones that make us feel bad. If youre struggling with body-image right now, then perhaps the mirror is an anchor for you, in that every time you see a mirror you feel the compulsion to look at yourself and then send negative thoughts at that face staring back at you. Sometimes we have anchors that are so strong that they over-ride some of our other senses. Imagine seeing someone who you strongly dont like, and then think of them saying something positive towards you. Chances are you may not even hear what they are saying, because the negative emotional response you feel totally negates anything they are saying positive or negative. Anchors are powerful and can totally remove logic from the entire thinking process. The great thing about anchors is that they can also create some very powerful empowering responses within us, such as when you hear a certain song play, you feel love, happiness and excitement. Now imagine that theres a certain person at work that you arent getting along with, and maybe youre even intimidated by them. Well, if you were to put that empowering song on and put yourself in that excited state, and then picture that person in your mind, over time you may even just find that when you see that person, you no longer experience that same strong negative emotion. In fact, you may even find that the negative feelings are completely gone, and have been replaced by positive ones. What about if whenever you put your clothing on, you found yourself feeling or picturing yourself in a certain way? Perhaps you heard a voice in your head say negative things about the way you fit in those clothes, you felt a nauseous feeling in your stomach, or saw yourself as twice the size that you actually are. Your logical brain knows the truth, but your emotional brain is warping your perspective (the way you see, feel and hear yourself), and so next is to change BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 36
those associated anchors. What happens before you feel, hear or see those negative thoughts? Now take something that you really love doing that puts you in a really great state, such as listening to a particular song or looking at a particular image. Create a really strong feeling inside by turning up the dial on it, visualize a virtual pressure dial, and as you turn that dial up, you feel that feeling increase more and more. Push that dial all the way around until youve reached the peak of that strong empowered feeling state, and then begin putting your clothing on, while holding onto that state. What youll find is that when done enough times repeatedly, the old disempowering anchors will dissolve and be replaced by the newer empowering anchors - Anytime that youre in a particularly high state, where a specific type of stimulus is applied, at the peak of that state, an anchor will be created. When creating an anchor, there are key components that will dramatically improve its effectiveness for future use Intensity How strong is the state that youre in (or associate feeling, sound, image etc.)? The higher the intensity, the stronger the anchor. Uniqueness How unique is the anchor? Does it involve you touching your thumb and forefinger together while in a specific state? The more unique the easier it is to recall. Replication How often are you repeating this same anchor in order to strengthen its effectiveness? If looking in the mirror creates a response, each time you look in the mirror in that same state of feeling, you strengthen the response. Number How many times have you repeated this anchor? The higher the number, the more effective the anchor. Timing When will you trigger the anchor, and in which state will you trigger it in? BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 37
When creating an anchor in yourself or others, these are the components to make it happen most effectively. To create a very powerful anchor, one of the most important components is timing. You want to use your sensory acuity to gauge when you, or another person is reaching the peak of their state, and right at that peak moment you want to trigger the anchor. For example, you can create a simple anchor that you can use every day just by touching your shoulder. Early on in my development, I started working with my Personal Training clients on developing positive anchors during their sessions with me. In some cases, I would simply ask my client to envision what they most wanted to achieve, and to think about how good it would feel, look and sound to them once they had achieved that goal. I told them to hold that feeling, image or sound in their mind for as long as they could during their session, and if I noticed them slipping in motivation, I would divert their attention back to what they wanted to achieve, how they wanted to feel, what they wanted to see, what they heard And there would be an instant shift in their physiology that was easily noticeable from a distance, and not to mention in their performance! When I wanted to create a very specific response, I would have them put themselves in a peak state of feeling totally energized and motivated, and at the peak of that state, I would have them press their thumb and forefinger together. After enough times of repeating this process, they found that whenever they wanted to feel totally energized and motivated, all they would have to do is press their thumb and forefinger together. Like with all of what Ive shared with you so far, youre ability to build a strong anchor with another person is directly linked to your ability to gain a high level of rapport with them. How about we package all of what weve learned so far about anchors into one neat bundle that you can use quickly and easily with yourself or others? Well, heres the basic template to follow when youre wanting to do that: BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 38
[1] Find a Subject: Seek out a suitable test-buddy. This could be a close-friend of family member. [2] Pace & Lead: Engage in pacing and leading and build rapport with that person. [3] Locate Anchor Point: Gain their permission to touch them on the knee during this process. (You can chose anywhere you like to create the anchor, however the knee for most people is pretty unobtrusive. You could try that, or the elbow or something like that.) [3] Find a Strong Emotion: Allow that person to reach in and find a time in their past that created a really strong emotion for them, such as feeling totally confident. (You could use this script to help engage those emotions in them, Can you think of a time when you were totally confident? [Wait for the yes] Can you think of a really specific time that stands out to you? [Wait for yes] As you think of that time now, think about how that felt, think of how that looked and think of how it sounded, and really feel those feelings of feeling totally confident) [4] Timing & Anchor: As they remember that time and experience it, use your sensory acuity to gauge how strong they are engaging in the state of being totally confident. It may take them longer or they may get to the peak of the state within a short moment. Simply notice where they are on the scale and as their experience becomes stronger start to press firmly on their knee. This doesnt have to be really hard, just enough pressure for them to feel it. [5] Remove Touch: As they begin to lower away from their peak state, remove your touch from their knee. [6] Break State: Now ask them something totally unrelated to break their state such as, Do you smell popcorn? This will cause them to search within and quickly pull them out of the previous state. You can use any funny questions you like such as, Monkeys eat bananas, right? [7] Test Anchor: Next up is youre going to test the anchor to see whether youve successfully created a new response to that particular trigger (the touching of the knee). Return them back to a normal balanced state, and then press their knee without saying anything and use sensory acuity to notice any changes that may occur. They may even verbally tell you they instantly feel different when you BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 39
press their knee. Congratulations youve just created your first NLP anchor with someone! If they didnt have a very strong response, repeat steps 1-6 several times, and then test again. Remember, the more times you repeat the anchor, the stronger it gets. So thats the basics of NLP anchoring, and although there is so much more that you can do with it, this is a really good place to start. Find yourself a willing and curious volunteer, and get started with creating anchors! You can even create some really cool ones, like whenever you press on your knuckles youre instantly pulled into a deep state of bliss. If you can imagine it, you can create it. Over time youll become more and more familiar with anchoring, and youll find that youll be able to add anchor on top of anchor, and also over-ride anchors with ease. As always, practice makes perfect.
Meta Model
Everyone has a different way in which they perceive the world and navigate through that world using their MAP. The Meta Model was created to distinguish between the different ways we tend to filter our world through the information that is introduced to us, and subsequently we end up throwing away (or deleting) most of the information that comes our way because it doesnt tend to fit our beliefs, expectations values and previous experiences. Virginia Satir had developed a way of having people dig into their distortions and generalizations (problems) and by doing so, Bandler and Grindler noticed that peoples problems would mostly just disappear. This is the main key to the Meta Model. Youll notice that in NLP youll never notice anyone ask the question Why because it forces the person to delve into the content and story behind the problem, which isnt necessary when creating change. Although traditional therapy tends to like getting into all of the whys, NLP generally tends to avoid it completely. Instead, when using the Meta Model we will begin with words such as how, who, when, what, because these questions tend to engage in the root of the problem and how its put together in the persons mind, rather than bringing up unnecessary stories. Once weve discovered the root or structure of someones particular problem, it is a lot easier to allow the problem to dissolve. The Meta Model is based upon listening and asking questions, the appropriate response is determined based upon the answer you receive from the other person, and in many cases you can actually predict the response based upon the type of question you ask. Here is a list of various language patterns, responses and subsequent predictions when using the Meta Model.
Distortions: Cause and Effect

Pattern Many times people will mismatch an effect with a cause. Meaning, the cause that they think created the effect is not actually the true cause at all, but something entirely different. People will often use this cause and effect pattern to place the blame (or cause) onto someone or something other than them, instead of taking personal responsibility. Some really common phrases youve probably heard before are, It was all her fault or She made me feel upset. Response What we want to do when working with the cause and effect pattern is to ask a question that will help to uncover the true cause of the persons problem, rather than the one they are blaming it on (which is usually on things outside of themselves). We really want to find out what the root cause for their thinking this way is, and we can do that by asking questions such as, How would it being her fault make any difference to how you responded? And How does she have anything to do with you feeling upset? Typically a response to a cause and effect statement will begin with how. Outcome Once this person has discovered more clues as to the root of their problem, they will usually loosen up a little bit on the thought, and gain more of an understanding of how they actually created the structure of the problem. In most cases, one question wont be enough to completely solve the problem and so additional Meta Model questions will need to be asked.
Mind Reading
Pattern Mind reading is really where someone shares that they know whats going on inside your head, without actually knowing whats going on. Youve probably heard similar statements to this in the past, and so some of those may have been She loves me. Without ever knowing the person enough to gain that type of information. In a sales example someone might say, Its too expensive without them knowing the price. Response This is like digging for a golden nugget, and that nugget is only going to be found by asking the right question. The golden nugget you want, is how they BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 42
actually know that information. A response to the above may be, How do you know she loves you? and How do you know if it would be out of your budget? Outcome Many times when you ask someone a question, if they are engaged and have interest enough, they will tend to pause and think about a response and then share with you what makes them think that way. Very often their answer will usually be met with another question from the Meta Model, but you will be that little bit closer to digging up that golden nugget, and clearing away the dirt of their mind (so to speak) thats enabling them to have that problem.
Lost Performative
Pattern Lost Performatives are simply added to a conversation that have left out where the judgment was being made from. So someone may say something like, the beach is good but they didnt say who thought the beach was good, or being slim is sexy when they didnt refer to who said being slim is sexy. Response When presented with a Lost Performative you want to ask a question that that finds out more information about where the particular judgment came from. So a response to the above could be, who says the beach is good? and how do you know being slim is sexy? There are so many variations of these responses you could apply here, such as, what made you decide the beach is good? and who decided being slim is sexy? And a very generic question that youve probably heard someone use in response to a Lost Performative in the past may have been, according to whom? Outcome The cool thing about asking these types of questions about a Lost Performative is that many times the listener has no idea where the judgment has come from, and in digging in and finding that out, is in many cases enough to dissolve the problem altogether, due to their finding out new information that they may have not consciously thought of before.
Complex Equivalence
Pattern Complex Equivalence is where someone is describing two things that they think are the same, when they most likely are not. Something youve probably heard before (or similar) may be, He never tells me how beautiful I am, so he must not love me. Or My clothes dont fit, that must mean Im overweight. Response The response to a Complex Equivalence is to ask a question that is designed to create a distinction between the two experiences that the person is referencing, in order to help the person notice that they are indeed, not the same. Heres a response for the above examples: Are there people you love who you dont always tell them how attractive they are? and have you seen clothes fit someone who you think is overweight? The result of the answer will rely to a large extent on the quality of the question you ask. Did it cause them to assess their complex equivalent experience deeply enough to reassess whether it was actually true or not? If they can think of people they feel love for, but dont always express how beautiful they are to them directly, then that will serve to break their negative thinking around love being directly measured by anothers impressions of their outer beauty. Outcome Usually someone will pause for a moment and think about what youve asked them, and open up to the idea that possibly how they thought it was, wasnt actually how it really was. In many cases they may have another response that will require an additional Meta Model question, but they will be one step closer to clearing away the mental fog of their problem.
Presuppositions
Pattern A presupposition is an assumption of something that hasnt yet been validated as true, and is apparent in our typical language patterns every day. In order for the sentence to make sense, you must assume that was has been mentioned is true, when in fact, it may not be at all. This may come in the form of a sentence such as, If men knew how much of a great cook I am, they would all be lining up at the door to marry me. This statement has a few presuppositions: BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 44
[1] The person is a single, [2] they are heterosexual, [3] they know how to cook, [4] men would be interested in them if they knew how well they could cook, [5] they are interested in getting married. Response There are so many presuppositions in that sentence that it would be easy to ask a question to challenge any of those presuppositions to create an instant shift in their thinking. When challenging presuppositions that are likely to be true, such as [1], [2] and [3] it is more unlikely that any major shift in their thinking will come as a result. Instead, youll find that questioning the least likely presuppositions such as [4] and [5] will result in a much stronger shift in thinking. A response to those could be: [4] How do you know men would line up at your door if they knew you could cook? [5] How do you know men would want to marry you? Outcome The great thing about addressing presuppositions that are least likely to be true, is that when the listener begins to dig deep inside, they usually create rather large shifts very quickly from their new realizations and understandings.
Generalizations: Universal Qualifiers

Pattern Universal Qualifiers are responses that tend to generalize just about everything and use words such as every, forever, everyone, never. When someone uses these words, they tend to feel as though there is no other option, and that is what they are sharing with you when they express themselves in this way. You may have heard expressions such as, Everyone wants to be skinny. This denies the possibility that someone out of everyone might not want to be skinny, and may already be happy as they are. Heres another one, I never look good enough. The speaker is closed to the idea that they can always look good enough, no matter what (because the word enough is subjective, therefore it is based upon what you or someone else thinks of the way you look change the way you look at yourself, and you yourself will change). Response These particular statements are best responded in a way that allows the other person to re-evaluate what they have said. This can easily be done in BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 45
most instances by simply asking a repeating Universal Qualifier question back to them, such as, Everyone? Or you could also ask them to find examples of where the possibility of the Universal Qualifier may not apply. That may come in the form of, have you ever met anyone who doesnt want to be skinny? or have you ever looked good enough? Outcome Here, youll be searching for a response from the client that invalidates their initial universal qualifier by finding examples in their lives where this has not been the case. There will be a few cases where a client will give you a universal qualifier that is true, but in most cases this will help the client to notice that their problem is not present all the time, and this will help them to loosen their hold on the problem.
Modal Operator of Necessity

Pattern Modal Operators of Necessity are referring to words that imply that there is no choice such as; must, mustnt, need to, shouldnt, should, its a necessity. These statements show that the person feels bondaged to a certain set of actions by a set of clearly defined rules. This shows up all the time in our lives, like when someone says something like, I have to lose weight. Response Responses to these questions gives the listener the opportunity to think more deeply about other alternatives to the way they are currently thinking. It also opens up the listener to begin thinking about what the reasons might be for why they feel bound to a particular set of rules that may not be serving them. To the above example, there would be many different responses to that question that would equally serve just as well as each other such as, What would happen if you didnt? This would allow the person to assess the consequences of their behavior. You could also find out how they came to believe what they believe to be true, by asking, Who says you have to lose weight? This will share the reasons of why they think they have no other choice but to lose weight. Outcome The client will in most cases discover how they came to create this way of thinking, and will most importantly, allow them to think about the BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 46
consequences of not following what they think is something that they have no control over. This can help to open them up to be free to express their behavior more fully in the future, so instead of feeling bound by what they think has to happen, they can be free to interpret the many variations that could be possible, which allows them to choose any number of actions and responses at each given moment.
Modal Operator of Possibility

Pattern This particular pattern is the complete opposite of Modal Operators of Necessity, in that instead of the language pointing to what has to be done, this language refers to what could be done, using words such as, possible, would, wont, cant, can, impossible. Again, we here this in everyday language and a common example you may hear could be, Its impossible. Here this person believes that it is not possible to do what the statement implies: it is not possible to look good naked. Response The response you deliver to this type of statement is designed to open the person up to a new range of possibilities so they have more of an awareness of choice around a particular problem. Youll also have the ability through asking a specifically structured question, to help uncover the reasons behind the belief that seems to be holding the person back. You may respond with something such as, What stops you (from looking good naked)? or If you could (look good naked), how would you go about it? Outcome As the person digs deeper and begins to gain more awareness around the reasons that may be contributing to the problem, through your effective use of questions, they will typically find that the strength of the bondage to the problem will weaken. In many of the Meta Model responses, you will most likely not get a complete cure for the problem just from asking one question. For example, the person who thought it was impossible to look good naked will probably not instantly think that its possible to look good naked, but by gaining new awareness around what is contributing to the problem, they will be much more open to perceive these thoughts in a way that will allow for future BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 47
breakthroughs to occur, because they have more ways of breaking it down and working with it.
Distortions: Unspecified Verbs

Pattern Unspecified Verbs refer to where someone has shared something without providing the full information. In this case, its missing a verb, and will usually come across as something such as, She dislikes me. When someone shares something like this, the listener (and speaker) ends up curious as to what is really meant by disliking and how the speaker was disliked. Response The response of to an unspecified verb is really designed to get below the surface response, and to extract additional information on the verb. That may show up as a question such as, how exactly? Which prompts the listener to dig deeper to find out the meaning behind their statement. Outcome... By asking a question that causes the listener to dig deep and find additional information, you are expanding their awareness to perceive the problem from a different angle. This on its own may not be enough for the problem to disappear, but it will provide a fresh new angle to look at it from. In this process, they will most likely come to understand how they perceive the disliking, and this will pave the way for future potential resolutions with the other person. Either way, because the person has changed the way they look at this, the verb they were looking at will change (in meaning to them).
Nominalizations
Pattern A nominalization refers to most of the words that end in ion such as communication, transition, medication etc. and are considered process words (verbs) that have been stuck in time, converting them into a nouns. This has no real change in of itself, however when we convert processes into things, we alter the forever changing nature of a process. When we decide to take process words such as transition and convert them into static things, we are very likely to perceive these things as unchangeable. Instead of understanding that wherever there is process, there is room for change to occur. BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 48
Response Responses to nominalizations occur by converting the noun back to a verb, providing the listener with the opportunity to dig deeper into the process behind the problem. If someone says something like, Theres no room for transition. A response could be, what is not transitioning? or who isnt transitioning? This strategy of questioning will provide further awareness around what it is about the process of transitioning that seems to be the problem, instead of looking at the static thing as something that cant be changed. Outcome The process of asking a question to resolve a problem is deeply rooted in the way the Meta Model works, and in this case the process of changing the noun back to a verb brings a new awareness to the listener that they dont have a problem with the nominalization, but with the verb. Without the ever-changing flow of a process, the client will be stuck up against a brick wall with no escape, so upon changing the frame in which he views the problem through (changing the noun back to a free-flowing changeable verb), they can begin to assess and find solutions to the problem.
Simple Deletions
Pattern Simple Deletions are when someone has said something, but they have left much of the information out. Again, this occurs all the time in our day to day lives and we come across it in statements such as, I am unhappy. Here, its not really clear what unhappy means, because theres nothing to compare it to, such as they might be unhappy because they dont fit in a pair of jeans, or because they just found out theres a party coming up and they think they need to fit into certain sized clothing. Response Your response will dig up the missing information (or at least some of it) from the statement that the person has just shared. This may come across as something like, Why? Just a simple question will help you to gather additional information on this deletion, and what is causing the problem. They cant make any alterations to a problem if they cant see the problem (if they only feel unhappy and are not sure why). Sometimes as they uncover the answers for why BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 49
they feel a certain way to you, they will also be uncovering these newly for themselves. Just because Im unhappy. Will not be sufficient information to solve this problem. Outcome Youre probably noticing a reoccurring pattern here where once the person has explored the problem by answering your questions, theyll find a new way to look at and solve it. Sometimes this will be enough to collapse the problem, and other times it will need further information to fully resolve it, but even the information theyve gathered so far will help them to perceive the problem from a different perspective.
Lack of Referential Index

Pattern This is a pattern where the person doesnt share what exactly they are referring to when making a statement such as, it doesnt work. Because theres no reference for you to know whats contributing to the problem, the next step is to dig a little deeper with your response. Response The next step is to help the listener to uncover what or who is creating the problem (or adding to it). Following the above statement, you could say something like, what exactly doesnt work? This will allow the listener to dig a little deeper and find out exactly whats contributing to the problem. Outcome As soon as the listener is able to identify with what exactly may be creating (or at least contributing) to the problem, they will be able to start to sort for solutions. This will add another perspective that the listener perhaps once did not have prior to your response, and will initiate a newer awareness around how to deal with the problem, or find the source of the issue.
Comparative Deletions
Pattern Comparative Deletions are where the person is comparing to something or another, without sharing what they are comparing it to. This pattern tends to use referencing words such as, less, least, best, more, worse etc. and will come across in the form of something like, She looks better. BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 50
Response A response to a comparative deletion is as easy as asking about the thing that is specifically being compared to such as, She looks better compared to who? In most cases with comparative deletions, its assumed that the person knows what they are comparing to. Upon answering the question, you will gain additional insight into what is important to that person, and will be able to help assist them in discovering whether there is any validity to their comparison at all. Outcome Again, the person will increase their awareness of what is actually contributing to their problem, and in some cases may be enough to collapse the problem itself. In other cases, they will need to assess the comparisons more closely, and gain more information about what is being compared to so they can find a complete solution. Because the Meta Model is delivered in a way that relies heavily on questions, youll want to have a high level of awareness on the other persons responsiveness as you deliver the processes. Too much emphasis on repeatedly delivering questions will in most cases cause the person to feel as though theyre being interrogated and they will become uncomfortable. The Meta Model is most applicable in therapy, business or specific sales situations where the person is making statements that contain deletions, distortions and generalizations.
Milton Model
After modeling Milton Erickson, Richard Bandler and John Grindler created the Milton Model, which is a way of communicating through verbal language that creates an almost trance-like state in the person youre speaking with. In hypnosis this is used heavily, as a way to help induce trance in a client, and is also very powerful in marketing (as many companies have found out). Using the Milton Model to boost your body-image is more about learning how you speak to yourself internally (self-talk), and also how you make sense of whats going on in your head, and subsequently, the world around you. The way you can sometimes justify things that make no logical sense, will become quite apparent to you in this elaboration of the Milton Model and throughout the rest of this book. So as you read these words, just remember to keep an open mind and absorb as much as you can for your own benefit. What you will find while employing the Milton Model technique during your conversations, is that people will become much more agreeable and connect to what you say quicker and easier As you read these words, youre probably curious as to when youre going to be able to use the Milton Model, and you may also be wondering how long it will take you to learn how to use the important Milton Model effectively. Just because theres been times when you havent been completely confident, doesnt mean that things didnt work out, in fact they have worked out regardless, didnt they? Lets face it, just because youve decided to read this book and follow these words and learn about the Milton Model right now, means that you could learn the Milton Model quickly and easily, isnt that right? Have a read of the above paragraph out loud and notice how it is written, and how it seems very similar to other literature you may have read in the past. This is because many world leaders tend to deliver their speeches using this same technique. BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 52
The paragraph above makes use of the perception of mind reads (youre probably curious as to when youre going to be able to use the Milton Model), missing performatives (learn how to use the important Milton Model effectively), cause and effect (completely confident, doesnt mean that things didnt work out), presupposition (Ive assumed that youll start using this technique soon), and tag questions (didnt they? isnt that right?). This will all come together for you as you learn more on the Milton Model. Whats next? How do you go from speaking and thinking the way you do now, to being able to use the Milton Model effortlessly? Simply put, you can start by Practicing the Milton Model patterns over and over again. Notice how you quickly and easily start using it unconsciously. There are many patterns in the Milton Model, and some say there are about 20 different ones that you can apply in various ways to create a specific result. You can alter these patterns and also combine them to improve their effectiveness, so here is a bit of a breakdown of the Milton Model.
Presupposition
Presuppositions are an interesting way of using language that presupposes that someone has already agreed to something, when in fact they may not have even had the chance to think about it, or even question it. There are so many examples of presuppositions that we use in our everyday life such as Are you angry at me? (Wife to husband, presupposing that he was angry in the first place, when in fact he may not have been angry at all) Still trying to lose weight? (Friend is presupposing that you were already trying to lose weight, when you may not have been at all at least not before they said anything)
Do those jeans fit yet? (This presupposes that your jeans didnt fit you in the past) Your waist is getting smaller. (This presupposes that the persons waist was too big before) When influencing people (or yourself) presuppositions are useful to use when youre wanting to not only save time, but also to move people towards an outcome thats not only desirable for them, but also for you. If your friend was choosing a dress for a night out, in order to help her feel good about whatever dress she tries on and choses, you might say, There are so many dresses out there these days, and that means all of us have different shaped bodies, which means you can feel good about finding a dress that is cut for your body. Cause and Effect Statement (there are so many dresses out there these days [in your friends mind, this is probably a fact]), Complex Equivalence (all of us have different shaped bodies [logically we all know this to be true]), Presupposition (which means you can feel good about finding a dress that is cut for your body [presupposing that the journey of finding a dress will provide enough reason in itself to feel good]).
Cause & Effect

You may have heard of Karma, and that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Well, Cause and Effect is basically the same thing, in that it implies that one thing causes another. The interesting thing about people, and the way our minds work, is that generally we respond really well when we are given reasons to believe or think things even if those reasons make no real logical sense at all.
You can easily find when cause and effect is being used by watching out for their specific linguistically structured patterns: If A then B As A you B As you close your eyes, youll notice how relaxed your eye lids begin to feel. Because youre reading this, youre able absorb this information completely. Simply put, Cause and Effect is a way of leading someone towards a desirable outcome by taking things that are supposedly true and implying something of a completely different context that follows through with the same feeling. Something true (Because youre reading this), what Im implying (youre able to absorb this information completely). Reading this wont necessarily mean youll be able to absorb the information completely, but by my implying it, youre much more likely to in fact, absorb the information you read in this book more completely than if I hadnt implied it. Another example of Cause and Effect could be while youre at the clothing store trying on dresses, you cant seem to find any of the ones you like that fit and so you may say to yourself (or I may say to you) Because everyones body is unique, you will find a dress thats perfect for you soon. Something true (Because everyones body is unique), what Im implying (you will find a dress thats perfect for you soon). My saying that doesnt necessarily mean youll find a dress thats perfect for you soon, but because I suggested it, youre once again, much more likely to feel good about some of the dresses not fitting you, than you would be if I hadnt said anything. Im sure you can think of many instances where women (maybe even yourself), have thought (out loud or inside), These dresses dont fit, so Im overweight. As you know logically this isnt true, yet somehow by implying it through the way you think, you perpetuate further feelings of dissatisfaction around your body. This BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 55
doesnt do anything worthwhile for self-esteem, and so a new awareness around this will help break the cycle if you decide to make some adjustments.
Lost Performative
Value judgments usually come from people around us, but in this case when I provide a value judgment without sharing with you show actually made that judgment, you find yourself agreeing with it quickly and easily. This is because relative words are really easy to agree with. These are words that judge whether something is good bad, positive negative, slow fast, better worse, hot cold etc. Spinning these words into your sentences help to take the other person in the direction you want them to go, such as Its fun to go to the beach. The water is really warm. Its good to improve oneself. On their own, these statements can seem like they make sense but when you logically think about the statement, The water is really warm. You begin asking, compared to what? Compared to your freezer back home, or Antarctica? Or, that its fun to go to the beach. Whats fun about it, and who said its fun? Is it more fun than sitting at home staring at a wall, or than having someone poke you with a blunt object? But because the statement makes sense on its own, the other person is more likely to accept that thought, and will be more likely to base their thinking later on in the interaction. The same goes for various comments that occur in our everyday lives from people around us. Women may be inclined to hear from their friends comments such as, being fat is bad, skinny is good, wide shoulders arent nice, narrow hips BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 56
suck, larger ankles are bad and large breasts are sexy. None of these statements make logical sense on their own, yet our emotional brain accepts them as true (most of the time) without considering the logical side to the comment. For example, the comment, large breasts are sexy makes no logical sense, heres why First of all, in order to define something as large one must compare to something else. Someone who develops a D cup through puberty may have the perception that C cups are small. Whereas someone who develops an A cup may have the perception that C cups are large. But this is only a perception, not a reality. Our perceptions are not reality, they are our experience of reality by looking through our own individual looking glasses so to speak. So large to one person, may be small to another and instantly the original comment loses its basis for logic right there, but what about the word sexy being used? The same goes What one person believes is sexy, another believes is ugly. Sexy is another one of those terms thats highly individualized. Peoples sexual likes and dislikes can vary greatly, and to define a body-parts attractiveness based upon one (or many) peoples sexual interest, is not logical at all. In most mens case, they dont typically hear other men commenting on the level of attractiveness of other men. Instead, theyll see and hear comments from the opposite sex, media and perhaps notice the way other men look and make comparisons based upon that. A man may walk into a gas station and see a line of mens magazines all depicting a model with a six pack where headlines read, get a sexy six pack today or he may even overhear a couple of women making comments such as muscles are so hot or abs are nice. Again, this is not reality, this is only the media trying to sell magazines, and the perception of a couple of women.
Mind Read
The mind read is a very clever use of language, presupposing that you already know what the other person is thinking before theyve revealed any of that information to you. You use language in a way that has them begin to think about BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 57
what you want them to think about and then you simply point out what they are thinking about, such as You may be thinking You begin the language pattern with something like that and end with whatever you want them to think about. Such as, You may be thinking about what sort of examples Im going to use here You may be thinking about how you can apply NLP to your own life You may be wondering what it would be like to taste popcorn right now The funny thing is that even though you may not have been thinking about those things before you read those words here and now (or were you?), you find yourself thinking about them anyway, dont you? You can use this pattern in any situation, such as when youre at a clothing store and the person youre with is looking for a new outfit, but they havent found anything that fits them yet. You might choose a moment when they are not deep in thought about anything in particular and say something like, You may be thinking about when youll find something that fits your lovely self! It might not be much, but it might have a positive impact on that person, and thats reason enough to say it, isnt it?
Complex Equivalence
This is a pretty funny way of having someone agree to two things at once, when they may only agree to one of the things you said. Whenever you notice these words in a sentence That means Being lean and fit that means youre sexy. BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 58
When someone looks in the mirror that means they love themselves. Reading this book that means you are breaking through body-image issues. This particular pattern is really useful when youre bringing someones awareness to something that they may previously have been unaware of. Imagine how motivating it would be for someone learning Math to hear their teacher say, Youve been making it to every class that means youll pass this year. We actually hear this all the time with teachers, parents and Politians generalizing a particular topic such as, Vote for me that means voting for more money. You could even use it while looking at yourself in the mirror, by saying out loud, your body is unique, that means youre beautiful.
Lack of Referential Index

Referential Indexes are used when referring to nothing in particular. When someone is as vague as to refer to nothing in particular while making a statement, they are using a referential index. Easily the most commonly used referential indexed words are, thing, it, stuff, them, that etc. Heres what you may come across I went to visit it and when I got there I couldnt find that thing. Whenever I talk, I like them. They sure do know a lot of stuff. We tend to use these all the time in our communications with others without every really realizing it (how many other things do we communicate inside or outside that were not aware of yet?). Youve probably heard something similar to this in the past (or maybe recently) He was over there talking about that, and
then when he came back he started talking about all of this stuff that just made no sense, and when that thing arrived he ended up just throwing it
Comparative Deletion
Comparative Deletions are similar to Lost Performatives where a comparison is made, but it is not specified to what (or whom) the comparison is being made. Whereas a Lost Performative relates to the person making the judgment being left out, instead of a Comparative Deletion which refers to leaving out what is being compared to. A few examples of Comparative Deletion are as follows Things arent that good. It really didnt go as well. It might as well be the right thing. Your listener will more than likely find themselves agreeing to these types of statements, because its extremely difficult to disagree with it because of the sheer vagueness of it all (notice the it there?). Its very hard for someone to disagree with someone when they dont know what its being compared to in fact, its nearly impossible! Youll find this technique very useful when trying to persuade others (or yourself) to do something. If youre out at lunch and someone says, I dont want to eat that, itll make me put on weight. You could use a comparative deletion in your sentence by saying, Isnt it interesting how they always tend to say this and that about food, yet we all know they are lying because its all about feeling good inside, and that doesnt come from what we eat, but rather, just from enjoying each moment as it comes. Theres a lot of comparative deletions in there (and a few other patterns just for fun), but the key point Im sharing here, is that when we become aware of
the deletions we are making, we can start to use them for many more positive outcomes.
Universal Quantifier
This is where we use a bunch of words that contain some rather large universal generalizations and lack a referential index. A universal generalization tends to incorporate words such as, all, whole and every that refer to anything and everything. Universal Generalizations can also be negative, using words such as nothing, never, no-one etc. The key is that the word has to refer to everything. When a phrase lacks referential index, its usually not referring to anything in particular, so youll notice words such as, things, it, stuff, that being used. A universal quantifier must contain a universal generalization and lack a referential index, which can appear in a statement like this No-one ever does that. She is always All of them are in on it. They take everything. For example, youre at a gym and your friend leans over to you and without any reference says, They think everyone should be here. The statement is so vague that you may just find yourself quickly agreeing to it.
Modal Operator
Modal Operators are words that tend to imply possibility or necessity, and are often used to create emphasis on certain rules in our lives. They are used to show BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 61
importance over something that the deliverer believes must be done, these are what we refer to as Necessity Modal Operators (odd numbered examples). These types of words can be very empowering (or disempowering) depending upon the context in which they are used. Possibility words are used to describe something that could be done (even numbered examples). Examples of Modal Operators such as: 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 6) Should Could Must Might Need Want
Take for example, these two particular statements: 1) You should feel good about your body 2) You could feel good about your body Both of them are perceived very differently. The first example uses necessity (should), where the second example uses possibility (could). If someone is really upset about something, or constantly finds themselves feeling bad, they will in almost all cases be using modal operators of necessity. If you come across someone whos using necessity words, try repeating back to them exactly what they said but switching the necessity words for possibility words. Think about this for a moment If your internal unconscious reasoning processes are constantly running in the necessity modal operator, youll most probably find yourself much less happy about your body than if you made a conscious effort to switch that internal voice (unconscious reasoning process) to a possibility modal operator. There may be a voice in your head that turns on at certain times (when an anchor is triggered) that starts necessity conversations with you without your being consciously aware of it. But as of reading these words youre now aware, and this is the first step to any change, conscious or unconscious. This new BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 62
conscious awareness will give you the power to begin making changes to your unconscious necessity modal operator so you can boost your body-image.
Utilization
Utilization works by pointing out to someone something that is already in their environment, and adding an additional meaning to it. When you point out an additional meaning, or things that the listener has not yet noticed (or become aware of), they will tend to deepen their trance, and will also begin to feel more convinced about whatever you are talking with them about. Some examples of utilization are (Person taps their fingers lightly on the table) and you say, Tapping the fingers on the table means that youre either enjoying the conversation or that your anxious and need to leave. (Person is distracted by a waiter walking by) and you say, Noticing people walking by is a sign that youre really good with focusing on multiple things at once, and youll remember what we say here easier. (Person says, Im tired) and you say, Exactly, and youre tired because you havent had a chance to re-energize your tiredness. This can apply to our everyday lives with the people whom we come in contact with, but Utilization can also be valuable in business or sales such as when someone says to you, Thats expensive. And you could utilize that reply with something like, It seems expensive because you havent asked the one question that will have you want to buy it regardless of the price. You notice your friend looking in the mirror (rather judgingly) and you say, Looking in the mirror is a good time to tell yourself how much you love you for you. This might be enough to shift them from negative judgment to positive acceptance for the moment at least. BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 63
Nominalization
Simply put a Nominalization is created when you convert a verb or process into a noun. We see these everywhere in our daily use of language, and you can easily spot them by looking for words that contain ion such as Relationship, Translation or Medication. Relationship is the process of relating. Translation is the process to translate. Medication is the process to medicate. In nominalizations we reference the process in a way that assumes it has been completed. If youre speaking with a friend whos deciding on whether shes finally happy with the way her body looks, by using the nominalization of decided, you can help shift their thinking rather rapidly towards them having already made the decision. You could even do the same with yourself, by speaking about yourself (or to yourself internally also), in referencing that youve decided that you finally love your body regardless of what shape or size its in right now.
Unspecified Verb
When using a particular verb without a corresponding adverb, you are using an unspecified verb. Rather than completing the sentence with an adverb, you use an unspecified verb and it will sound as though youre saying only half of the actual sentence. The listener would expect you to finish the sentence with an adverb and so leaving that out allows room for their unconscious mind to complete the sentence. A few examples of unspecified verbs are as follows: You know And you can That can help You might discover BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 64
Tag Question
A tag creates a rhetorical question out of a sentence that would usually be a statement. This allows someone to answer yes (or no) to something that would have otherwise been said a matter of factly (and indeed, it can still be said in that way). When using these tag questions in conversation you notice that people will tend to agree with what you say, dont they? Sometimes they have no idea what they are actually agreeing with, but it sounds right, doesnt it? Whats more, many people tend to work these tags into their conversations with others without even realizing it, isnt that interesting? Some examples of tag questions are Isnt that right? Wouldnt you? Dont you? Havent you? Tags can also be used when leading up to a big yes. Meaning, if youre helping someone to come to a positive conclusion about their body-image, you may start with getting a few yesses in before you ask the big question (that you want them to respond positively to). That may start with little things that you know they already agree with (pacing current experience), and lead up to something that they may not have thought was true, but because of the prior acceptance of other things youve said, and more likely to positively comply. For example, the conversation may look something like this; its such a sunny day today, isnt it? [Yes] Youre drinking coffee in that cup, arent you? [Yes] I noticed that the waitress over there is serving the loud table, you used to wait tables, didnt you? [Yes] I know youve been wanting to start dating, that means youre probably ready to start putting yourself first, right? [Yes] You know, I think you feel better about yourself than what you think you do, am I right? [YES]. BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 65
Pace Current Experience

This is a very simple process, in where youre simply stating the obvious. The obvious being what is going on inside of the persons current experience. If someone is sitting on a chair in front of you, you will start pacing their current experience linguistically by saying something like, As you sit there in your chair listening to me now What youve done is verbally repeat back to them exactly what is happening right now. You can almost continue on by mentioning more than just one thing, such as And as you listen to me now, you probably notice your heart beating in your chest and your ears picking up any number of noises in the background from the (describe ambience) footsteps of people passing by, to people happily chatting away while eating their dinner Interestingly enough, the more things you verbally describe in someones current reality back to them, the more and more they will become drawn in by what you are saying A few examples of Pacing Current Experience are as follows As you read these words, and absorb this information almost effortlessly Feeling yourself scroll through this book, as you hear any sounds in the background, noticing the way your clothes rest on your body You notice your heart beating in your chest, as you take in this information, and enjoy that feeling of knowing youre learning something valuable When verbally expressing someones current experience back at them, you open them to the idea that what you are saying is completely true for them, and that there is no reason to oppose what youre sharing. Following this process allows for a series of successive yess to take place unconsciously (or consciously if youre seeking them to validate what you say with a verbal Yes), and then following this you can usually say something that is possible but not definitely true, and the other person will in most cases readily agree. This allows them to move in a completely new direction than where they may have been moving prior to engaging in this process with you. BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 66
An example of moving someone towards a trance-like state would be As youre in this room right now, listening to the sound of my voice as you feel the familiar feeling of your clothes touching your skin, and your heart beating inside your chest, you may notice that its easier to take deep calm breaths, and these breaths will only help to relax you further into a deeper state of relaxation as you continue to listen to my voice sinking deeper and deeper now Or an example of influencing someone to make a decision could be Youve been shopping around the mall, and youve looked at some clothes in the past, and now youre standing here in this store, and perhaps youre wondering if youll find what youre looking for here, and you may even get the feeling that youre finally in the right place at the right time, and youre ready to decide to buy a dress here and now This is where rather than receiving the persons yes response verbally (like in the tag question example), they will instead, unconsciously say yes as you pace their experience.
Double Blind
This is where you give someone a choice that leads to the exact same outcome, no matter what choice they decide to choose. Ive noticed that with some couples whore in a romantic relationship, one of them may at times use this process without even consciously knowing it. Children also respond very well to the Double Blind however if you use it often, they will catch on and it wont be nearly as effective anymore at least until theyve forgotten that you use it! Some examples of a Double Blind are as follows Would you rather hang the clothes out now or in an hour?
Do you want to see this DVD this afternoon or tonight? Would you prefer us to meet on Tuesday or Wednesday? The key to a double blind is in the fact that it doesnt matter what the listener chooses, they will still end up with almost the same outcome. When a couple is at the DVD rental store choosing something to hire (Ive heard this before), one of them will find something they want to see and hold it up to other and ask a double blind question such as the one above. If you have children, and having them do chores like hanging the clothing out seems tricky when they can either sit around playing games or work, but if you dont give them another option than to choose when they would like to complete a chore, in most cases they will take action without questioning an ulterior activity at least as long as you dont overuse the Double Blind.
Conversational Postulate
We use conversational postulates in our ever day communication, and they are much more apparently used with people in authority positions (at least the ones who care about the way others feel). A conversational postulate is simply where you turn a command (something you want someone to do), into a question, thus softening the command and increasing the listeners responsiveness and compliance. Basically it allows the listener to avoid feeling as though they are being told to do something (or at least softens it), which usually occurs when someone is commanded (told) to do something. A few examples of conversational postulates are Would you pass me the pen? Can you cook dinner tonight? Perhaps you could fill the car up with gas on your way home?
The commands are very obvious when viewing them in this context (such as; pass the pen, cook dinner tonight, fill the car with gas) and although the person could potentially refuse, it makes it seem a lot softer by the question-type of frame that is being used. When the option to refuse is presented to the listener, they are much less likely to refuse, and much more likely to comply.
Extended Quotes
Extended Quotes tend to create confusion in the listener almost immediately, and is where you essentially begin talking about someone [Person #1], and then share with the listener that this person [Person #1] said something that she [Person #1] had heard from someone [Person #2] and that he [Person #2] had heard something from someone [Person #3] who had said <insert command here>. Because of all this jumping through one person to the next, the mind typically loses track of who said what, and because the mind has lost track of whos saying what, it becomes confused, sends the listener into a trance-like state and ends up making them much more likely to accept the suggestions given in (insert command). You can also say whatever you want to the listener, because it isnt you saying it, its someone whos in a third party whos saying it. Confused? Heres a quick example of an Extended Quote I met John down at the store and while he was down there he ran into Suzy, and Suzy had heard from over the hill that someone shared with her that when they last say John he said, Love yourself regardless of what your body looks like. Another example might be Not that long ago I was speaking with my good friend Jane down at the lake, and Jane said that while she was at home baking bread, that she got a phone call from Julia, and Julia said to her on the phone that Jan had just arrived into town and was out finding a dress for her friends party and while Jan was searching she said, Its not about the size or shape of your body that matters, its about how you feel about the size or shape of your body. BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 69
Selectional Restriction Violation

A Selectional Restriction Violation is where you give a noun properties that a noun cannot have. For example, it is possible to suggest that humans and animals have feelings. But can an object like a spoon have feelings? Truth be told the answer is no, and when you suggest that a spoon has feelings you are giving a noun properties that it does not have, and cannot have. A few easy examples of this are Aww you hurt that poor fluffy teddy bear. These bricks are scared to be laid. These clothes love me. Various political leaders are well known among the NLP community for their common use of Selectional Restrictional Violation, and other hypnotic language patterns during speeches and public gatherings. Interestingly enough, if you think about it, the movers for change have long understood the power of purposeful language and its dramatic effect on the human psyche. Why else would these leaders have speech writers, for if not to craft a well-orchestrated array of words designed to send the listener into an easily influence-able hypnotic trance-like state? Media and marketing companies are certainly not exempt from this; as they bombard the public with their sexy, beautiful, look like this campaigns. One of the easiest and most obvious uses of Selectional Restriction Violation is in Martin Luther King Jr.s famous I have a dream speech where he addresses a large crowd of people with this rather hypnotic language. To quote, This sweltering summer of the Negros Legitimate Discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Did you notice how he described legitimate discontent as a sweltering summer or how freedom and equality can be described as an invigorating autumn? Its impossible for solid
objects that are not human to have human characteristics (or feelings) when they are not human, yet we do it in language all the time. So even though these Selectional Restriction Violations make no logical sense, when you add them to a speech or to your speaking patterns, youll notice that the way you speak takes on a type of poetic quality, and frequently sends people into a trance-like state.
Ambiguity
One of the keys to the Milton Model is in the use of ambiguity. The Milton Model is all about adding distortions, generalizations and deletions into the way you speak that make it rather difficult for people to understand specifically what you are actually saying. It forces them to try to make sense of what you are saying at an unconscious level, and as they do so, this naturally deepens their trance-like state. There happens to be four types of ambiguity that can be used to deepen the trance even further, and are explained as follows
Scope Ambiguity
Scope Ambiguity is where your ambiguous language leaves the listener unsure as to how much of the sentence the descriptors apply to. For example: I am a certified Personal Trainer and jogger. Am I a certified jogger? Those lazy men and women. Are the men and women lazy, or just the men? Speaking to you as a child. Am I a child speaking to you? Or am I speaking to you like I would speak to a child? Theres some butcher dentists and beauticians. Are the dentists butchers, or is it both the dentists and beauticians?
Scope Ambiguity can be rather confusing on its own, but when thrown in as part of an unrelated sentence, the listener will not consciously be able to make sense of it.
Punctuation Ambiguity
This is where you add pauses during your sentence that otherwise shouldnt be there, because the sentence is not yet finished. You end up adding pauses Where pauses really shouldnt Be as people Would expect. This is really confusing to the conscious mind, but the unconscious mind still reads the meaning fine. A few examples of this are When you look to your right youll notice your head turns towards me This will be perceived as two sentences, as both, I want you to notice your head turns, turn your head towards me. In life some people fail to meet their own expectations. Another two sentences here, as both, in life some people fail, some people fail to meet their own expectations.
Phonological Ambiguity
This is when you use words that sound the same, but have a completely different meaning. Here are some examples of Phonological Ambiguity Hare sounds the same as here and hear Buy now sounds the same as by now Ear sounds the same as air BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 72
See sounds the same as sea This is really easy to use in a sentence and is traditionally found inside of rhymes, however you can use this in many different areas of life, either just for fun, or for a specific purpose. Theres a funny Rhyme that starts off like this; She spells C with sea shells she sees on the sea floor. Frequently I notice this in marketing and sales; By now you may decide that youre ready to buy now, but before you buy now, consider that by now youve already seen everything you need to make a decision to buy now. When Phonological Ambiguity is used in this context, the sentence is also referred to as having Embedded Commands (for another book).
Syntactic Ambiguity
This is when the listener cannot determine exactly what you mean, because the syntax of the sentence is structured as a Syntactic Ambiguity. Examples of this are Those farming farmers are confusing. Are the farmers farming (or training) other farmers, or are the farmers just farming on the farm? Moving movers is slow. Are the movers slow to move out of your way, or are the people moving your house furniture slow to act? Racing racers is tiring. Is it racing the racers that is tiring, or is the act of racing tiring? Building builders are hard work. Are the builders training new apprentice builders, or is someone having a hard time working with the builders?
During this chapter Ive shared the basic patterns that make up the Milton Model. Next is going from what you do with your language now, to a level where you can use this model unconsciously. An easy way to do that is to pick one pattern each day and practice it over and over until you no longer have to think about it, and it becomes automatic. Just like driving a car.
Hypnotic Script
Richard Bandler says, We are all in a trance, all of the time. What he means by that, is that as we go about our daily lives we are constantly focusing on our environment (internal or external). We awake from a sleeping trance only to move into another trance as we think about last nights activities while making breakfast. On the commute to work, we slip into another trance thinking about whats happening at work and what we need to get completed. While at work we find ourselves day dreaming (another trance) about relaxing down at the beach with our other half-naked friends, before heading out that night for drinks and dinner with the besties. As we commute home we find ourselves in another trance as we are captivated by the evening news stories on the radio, completely missing the beautiful sunset occurring just to the left of our horizon. Because we are so caught up in a trance-like state almost all of the time (in our heads), we tend to miss some of the most beautiful moments because we are not present and living in the moment. What I also wanted to point out was that for most of us, we are constantly moving in and out of one trance-like state to another. The reason I wanted to provide a short hypnotic script for you to read daily, is because since youre already familiar with moving in and out of trance states, why not create a trance-like state reading a message that will serve to reinforce a positive body-image? This is simply another tool you can use to boost your bodyimage by reprogramming your unconscious mind. If you would like to use this tool to improve the way you feel about your body, continue reading on Otherwise, simply scroll down past this hypnotic script until you reach the next chapter called, Modelling and continue reading from there. Sitting comfortably read this daily for 30 days to reprogram your mind: As you read these words noticing how your eyes move quickly and easily over the page
Feeling your clothing against your skin as your heart beats in your chest allowing you to continue breathing comfortably As you focus on these words notice how your breathing relaxes, even if just a little Allowing yourself to relax even deeper now These words only serve as a guide to help you relax further and further Noticing your eyes focusing on each word, allowing you to take this message with ease The shape of each word becomes more and more apparent to you the more words you read now You find it so easy to read these words that you could try to look away if you wanted to, but you really dont want to because its just so comfortable as you continue reading Noticing as your eyes move over these words These words are speaking directly to your unconscious mind now As you read these words you know that beauty is not something that comes from adding or changing parts of yourself Beauty is something that comes from loving yourself regardless of how you think you may look on the outside Even as your eyes move over these words your unconscious mind is absorbing all of the message contained here and now as you continue reading Your body is an extension of your higher self - your spirit However, you understand that your spirit is not inside your body BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 76
Therefore, as you read these words you realize that your spirit began guiding your body from the moment you were brought into this existence At birth, your mind was clear and ready for new experiences You began to find things you liked and didnt like And sometimes you even took things that others liked and didnt like Sitting here reading these words you realize that what other people think of you and your body is of no concern to you Other peoples perception of you only reflects their perception of themselves When other people see something they dislike in another person, it only reflects their dislike in themselves Following these words with your eyes, you know you can feel understanding towards other peoples perception of you, because they are only seeing and feeling what they dislike in themselves This means they are struggling in their own way with this world that has been imposed upon them since birth And by freeing yourself from needing validation from others, you liberate them by your own actions through showing them whats possible Reading these words now you understand it is possible to love yourself because you were already born loving yourself Youre been shrouded by darkness for too long and now its time to burst through that darkness so you can love yourself once again
You can burst through the darkness quickly and easily by making a decision to push through the darkness and into the light now Enter the light now. As you read these words notice the feeling of love for you and your body now You understand you are more than your body You are more than your mind You are a higher being experiencing life here in this reality And this reality is yours to create moment by moment Instilling all of these messages inside of you now Reading these words now as you feel yourself becoming more and more conscious of your surroundings Noticing the device you are reading this from now As you begin to completely focus on everything in your environment Remembering everything you have read here, as youre now completely focused and energized [End]
Scale Tipping
Scale Tipping is a tool that can be used anytime with any belief that a person may want to adjust, through a simple process of outweighing the negative belief with positive reinforcement. Think of an old kitchen scales that has an old bag of wheat on it. If you want to remove that bag of wheat from the scales, you would need to either do one of two things; 1) take the bag of wheat off, or 2) put a heavier item on the other end of the scales. Lets say you decide on option 2, and put a large sweet potato (positive reinforcement) on the other end causing the scales to tip in favor of the sweet potato. What youve just done is add enough weight to the scales that they have no tipped in favor of the sweet potato. Scale Tipping helps to tip the scales of body-image in your favor. So instead of your living your life on the negative receiving (effect) end of the spectrum, you begin living on the positive creation (cause) end. We can all chose to either be living at cause or effect. People who live at effect always blame what happens to them on things outside of themselves. People who live at cause, understand that they are at cause for everything that happens to them in their lives, and as a result, take personal responsibility for that which is true. Taking personal responsibility is empowering. Blaming causes on things outside yourself is giving your power away. Im not saying that everything that happens to us in our lives is our doing. What I am saying is that we cant go around always blaming what happens to us on things outside ourselves. Instead, we make a decision to take personal responsibility and keep the power within, because we are the creators of our own reality in more ways than one. Scale Tipping helps to adjust a particular set of values and beliefs through a process of writing down 100 reasons why Why you want to replace an old disempowering belief with a newer empowering one. Heres how to use Scale Tipping to change a belief
[1] Take out several pieces of paper: Lined or unlined, it doesnt matter. [2] Write at the top your question: Your question will be based upon the belief you want to shift. In this case, the question loving my body is important to me because will serve to impress a change in the way you view your body-image. [3] Write 100 reasons why: Start out with getting your first 50 reasons in one sitting, and then add the other 50 over the rest of that day, or following 2-3 days. [4] Read daily for 30 days: Pick it up each morning upon waking and each evening before sleeping. Following the Scale Tipping process you will notice a substantial difference in the way you feel about yourself and your body, over the course of one day, one week and one month the more you read this list twice daily, the more permanent change you will create.
Modelling
If she can do it, I can do it! One of the main components to NLP is modelling, where you learn how someone does what they do, and then you apply their processes to your own life. NLP allows us to see the distinctions in what they do, and to quickly and easily copy (model) them in any way we wish to improve our results. This is where our ability to change takes on an entirely new level, because we have a potentially unlimited reservoir of information and processes to apply to improve the quality of our lives. You could model someone who has a high level of body-image, a powerful self-esteem or even excellent health; both mentally and physically.
Modelling Keys
If you can think of a particular result you wish to achieve, find someone who has reached the highest level of that result. The person that you are searching for to model, is not someone who has only just passed. What you are exploring the canvas for, is someone whos reached the pinnacle of excellence in the particular area youre wanting to improve (or excel at). Modeling anyone below that level of excellence will not be worth your while, because youll only reach the same level of the person youre modeling. In the case of boosting body-image, it would be important to find someone who represented an excellent example of the results you wish to obtain in your own life such as, high self-esteem, high self-confidence, high body-image etc. And this would all reflect in their day to day lives, from their relationships with others (intimate or other), in the way they treat themselves in front of the mirror, their outlook towards food and exercise, how stable their mood is on a day to day basis and how generally happy they are. They will have a particular attitude towards BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 81
life and their body that will be serving them positively, and this is where learning the following details come into play Beliefs and Values: The persons beliefs and values are what shapes how they perceive the world around them. How they hear, see and feel (about) their body, other people, spirituality, their place on the earth, work-life and much more. How they feel about all of this and more, is the foundation of what you want to discover. In order to discover these qualities, you must ask questions such as, what do you believe is important in gaining results?, what do you believe your body is? and what does the mind-body connection mean to you? From these questions you will find some of their empowering and disempowering beliefs and values from here you can begin building from the ground up. Strategy (Syntax): In this part of the process of gaining information, you want to enter into the conversation with a clean slate of mind. Meaning, throw away any assumptions you have about how they think, or strategize things together in their mind, and open yourself up to a highly curious child-like state, where all things are possible. Youre searching for everything to do with their strategy, which involves their Internal Representation which you can use as a guide to model their results. They may internally represent strategies in their mind that may include sounds (they may hear a voice in their head, or hear a family member speaking to them), images (they see themselves as a perfect form of the human body or a bright lighted spiritual being) or feeling (they get a charge of energy in their stomach that moves throughout their entire body). Physiology: This is based around what is going on with their body, and what particular movements internally or externally are going on that they are aware of. This could be everything from breathing tempo and heartbeat, to how they hold their shoulders back, neck up and back straight. Adopt these aspects yourself The key to this part is to begin using the model and notice how it feels for you. If youre not getting the same results as the person you modelled, go back and find BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 82
out what was missing and reinstall it again. There are always many unconscious processes that can easily be missed or overlooked, so recreating the same behavior in yourself can take several attempts, but eventually you will get the results you are looking for. Just keep in mind that this process may take a little tweaking here and there until you get it working optimally. So what can you begin to model? Because the purpose of this book is all about boosting your body-image, find people who genuinely at the core feel really good about themselves and start asking them questions about exercise, food and how they perceive their bodies. Ask them what they think of clothes shopping, and have them define their experience to you. Find out what they see, hear and feel when they look into a mirror, and watch how they hold themselves in public and when speaking to others. When theyre at the beach, what is their body language like? Do they hold their arms and legs close to their sides, and try to keep themselves compact (and small), or do they stretch out in a relaxed way and really make an attempt to take up as much space around them as possible? Do they wear makeup or not, and what is their impression of it, how do they feel about it? Those are some great basic places to start to develop a successful model that you can apply to your own life, and if you dont know of anyone around you who has reached the level of excellence in the way they feel about their body (and themselves), then spread your wings and get out and meet some new people. If that scares you too much, then perhaps start off by researching people who feel good about their body and themselves. Read their books, find their YouTube channels, watch their videos and follow them on Facebook. In fact, in my book called How To Be Happy While Building The Body You Want I share my own personal beliefs, values, philosophy and specific strategies I used to go from having very poor body-image and low self-esteem where I would literally shake when meeting new people (from being so nervous), to speaking publicly about health, wellness and how I came to feeling truly happy and powerful about myself (both inside and out).
The possibilities are endless, but theres one thing I do know, and that is If you continue staying in the same place you are now and doing the same things, chances are that nothing will change for you. So take a chance and decide that theres no better time than now to have the next big breakthrough of your life!
Empowering Yourself
Empowering the way you feel about yourself and your body-image, through increasing your levels of self-esteem, self-confidence and self-worth (and altering your internal processes) all fall under the area of Personal or Self-Development. Personally, Ive been involved in the area of self-development for many years, where I read the first material on the subject as a young teenager, and I really havent stopped growing since then. But the area of Personal Development is such a wide field of study, that like other wide fields of study, there are lots of ways to approach this area. If someone wants to learn public speaking, for example, they have lots of choices. They could go and work for a company that delivers public speaking training, or requires public speaking in order to be successful (such as a sales job) to gain practical experience. They could take a course or go to university and learn presentations skills from a lecturer. They could read books on the subject, watch DVDs, or listen to audio programs. They could do a whole host of different things that would most probably all lead to them gaining more knowledge about public speaking. None of these particular examples are whats best for everyone and anyone, because the choice for developing a public speaking ability is dependent upon the individuals wants, needs and desires, and how important developing themselves to that level of communication ability is going to be to them in their future. In many ways, this is exactly the same as with empowering your body-image. Theres always a lot of different reasons as to why someone would want to empower their body-image. Maybe you want to improve your body-image so that whats going on with you, doesnt manifest itself in your children, and instead, you become a more powerful role-model for them. Perhaps you want to boost the way you feel about your body because youre curious as to what it would be like to live unbounded by any inhibitions you may have around your body. Maybe you just enjoy exploring areas of yourself that you have not yet empowered, when youve already come so far with many other aspects of yourself. But the real truth is that you probably want a better life. You want to breakthrough any BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 85
limitations that you think are binding you, and expand yourself up to fresh and exciting possibilities. Maybe you want to walk down the beach without worrying what other people are thinking about you. Maybe you want to feel good about yourself in whatever you wear (including when youre clothes shopping). Or maybe you want to meet that exciting new lover thats just around the corner (you know? The one you deserve), just waiting for you to breakthrough your limiting beliefs and burst through the cocoon thats held you in bondage for so long, so you can finally be free to spread your wings and fly as high as you want to go. Whatever your reason, the sky is the limit, so think big! The higher your reason is for wanting to boost your body-image, the more powerful the inspiration and motivation will be. The most important thing to decide before you start boosting your body-image is: What is my reason for boosting my body-image? (What do I want to gain from boosting my body-image?) And even though the first answer that comes to your mind will get you started, there is a high chance that reason will transform over time as you grow through your journey, just like the ocean is always reshaping the shoreline. When the pinnacle of the answer to this question enters your mind, it is then appropriate to decide the best path to take on your personal journey of discovery. Perhaps you could take a moment to STOP, now, and write your answer to the question below? My main reason for boosting my body-image is:
And what I will gain from boosting my body-image is:
Youve become totally clear on what youre main reason is currently, and the next step is to decide how youre going to achieve that. There are many ways to boost body-image and the main strategies for boosting body-image are: By reading books, listening to audios and watching DVDs. These are an awesome and inexpensive way to boost body-image. There are a lot of really good products in this area. The challenge with learning this way is that you can develop a fairly high standard of knowledge about body-image without really being able to do anything with it. Coming up against the issue of actually being able to apply all of that theory youve learned, which is what these products are not so useful for. By attending courses. Courses can be an excellent way to boost body-image. Theory is combined with practical examples so you can absorb and internalize the strategies, models and patterns. Getting along to a course will provide you with a lot more hands on experience, and you are also much more likely to meet likeminded people who have either broken through and boosted their own bodyimage already (and are there for additional growth and development), or who are in a similar place that you are at. The hill to overcome for many people with doing a course is that they usually require you to take time off work, because they usually run for a few days (or in some cases, over the weekends), and pooling your finances together to be able to afford to get to one is also another hurdle. Reading information on the internet. Spending hours scouring over the huge vault of material online has positive and negative sides. Theres a lot of really helpful people out there, but theres also a lot of misguided people too. So the information that you will find will be all over the place, with a variety of different opinions with some saying their way is the best, or to keep away from that way. By hiring a coach. I know a lot of really phenomenal coaches, and having your own coach is a lot like having a team-mate around whos already been through a similar journey as you. Who because of their unique experience with breaking through their own challenges and boosting their own body-image (and other BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 87
areas of life), can be a very valuable resource. They will have already helped a range of different people breakthrough, and because they regularly coach people, they will be able to help you create much faster results than you may otherwise get on your own. The downside, is that coaches often get booked out quickly because they only have a set amount of hours allocated each week to helping people, in order to maintain their high quality of service. Now all of these areas of development have their own positive attributes, however in order to fully create mastery over your body-image, you will most likely need to engage in all of these areas, and more. As time goes on, and you begin to breakthrough your challenges and boost your body-image, you will find that the difference between being and living in a state thats mostly-free or completely-free, is in your attitude towards self-development. A hungry thirst for honest self-exploration is what will allow you to boost your body-image as far as you want while still remaining humble and free from the Ego-driven self. The most important question, at least in my mind, is in whether boosting your body-image is important to you. If your reason for boosting your body-image is to meet that special someone, take control over the way you think (and your thoughts), improve your relationships with friends, family and acquaintances, feel confident and sexy wherever you go and whatever you do, whether youre at the beach splashing about in the waves, or walking through the local shopping center searching for a new outfit, then the truth is that boosting your body-image is essential and invaluable. Right now, there are many options for you to boost your body-image, and although all of the options shared above have merits, if you really want to break through, the quickest and easiest way to do that is by deciding to work with a coach.
Where to Next
What youll find during your journey of boosting your body-image is that there will be several key factors that will help you to create quicker and easier results, even if youre not consciously aware of them yet. Those key factors are [1] the coaching you need to boost your body-image [2] the feedback to reflect how youre doing, and [3] the motivation to keep you moving forward And this is where I come in. Ive been studying self-development for years now, and have put hundreds of hours into breaking through many of my own issues (which I struggled with for years; almost from the moment I was born), and I would love to share what Ive learned with you, and help YOU to your boost body-image. I dont mean in the way you boost your ego by adding things to yourself, or in the way you might have tried to do in the past by getting people to tell you how good you look (those ways dont work; trust me, Ive tried them). I want you to truly feel good about your body (inside and out) to go far past simply knowing about how your body and mind works, so that you can actually go on to be in a body you love! And because of that, I would like to be YOUR COACH and work with you to help you to feel amazing about yourself. As a special bonus for deciding to take action and start working with me, I would love to offer you a free gift when you sign up to one of my programs. To redeem your free gift today simply go to nickritchielive.com and book in your first coaching session and you will receive a prompt reply from me where I will arrange for you to receive your free gift ASAP. BOOST YOUR BODY-IMAGE WITH NLP NICKRITCHIELIVE.COM 89
About the Author

Nick is genuinely passionate about making peoples lives better through sharing his own experience of breaking through poor body-image, and providing tools and strategies that he has not only used to boost his own body-image, but also many other people whom hes worked with world-wide. Nick began his personal development journey in 2000 as he started teaching himself about new ways of thinking and behaving through the many online magazines and websites that were available at the time. By 2004 Nick had dropped out of high school and had hit an all-time low of self-esteem, but in the end of that year he was suddenly exposed to a self-development concept that caused him to think differently; about how he was more than his past, and his present And how in rather than just living a life, he could design a future and create any way of being he wished. Since then, Nick has gone on to speak publicly in the areas of personal development, health, wellness, and through sharing his own personal breakthrough story, has become a leader in the body-image empowerment movement. He has authored several books and has plans to create additional products that are designed to increase the quality of peoples lives worldwide and boost the body-image of many more people. Upon writing this book I started with the intention to help you breakthrough and boost your body-image using specific NLP techniques, and Im happy to say that upon the completion of this book I believe I have done just that. One of the most challenging areas of life for many people, is getting started, and then following all the way through to completion selecting the right course or coach can progress to years of freedom around the way you feel about yourself, whereas not choosing a good coach or resource could mean you dont gain the level of results you were originally looking for. I just hope that youve enjoyed the value Ive
provided in this book and the introduction to using NLP to boost your bodyimage! Warmly, Nick Ritchie

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Just a couple of quick words I started writing this book with the intention to add value to those who

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Body-Image & NLP

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How NLP Was Created

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Learning NLP Basics

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Your Primary Representation System

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Distortions: Cause and Effect

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Generalizations: Universal Qualifiers

Modal Operator of Necessity

Modal Operator of Possibility

Distortions: Unspecified Verbs

Lack of Referential Index

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Cause & Effect

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Lack of Referential Index

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Pace Current Experience

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Selectional Restriction Violation

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And what I will gain from boosting my body-image is:

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About the Author

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