AHMED ALHARMM

PEAP course
April 20,2014
clashes between modern and the of change in society and pace The
traditional ways of life can cause intergenerational conflict. Discuss how
characters in Marriage is a private affair and how it is the this affects
affecting your own culture

Speed of change in society and the rattles between contemporary and
traditional methods of life can cause intergenerational conflict. This issue is
strongly addressed in the short story. This story represents two opposing
phases of society: 1.the older generation that is bound by traditions,; and
2.the new (younger) generation that doesn't believe in them. Aand from the
title I will discuss how it affects our culture.
There are marked differences between the attitudes of today's generation
towards love and marriage and those of the older generation. The story
presents the younger generation represented by Nnaemeka and Nene and
the older generation in the form of old-fashioned Okeke. The story connotes
marriage today is a private affair. It's centered on two basic themes: 1. rRigid
tradition versus personal freedom, and ; 2. love conquers all. In a tribal
system like Okeke's village, parents choose a life partner for their children,;
but in a modern society like Nene's Lagos, personal freedom of children
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comes in between the choice of their parents which leads to conflict. But love
conquers all at the end.
Based on this, racism is suggested as being synonymous with tradition.
Nnaemeka is the son of a man who is a member of the Ibo tribe until he grew
up and moved away from the Ibo land. Later, he tells Nene that it is a bad
idea to tell his dad about their plans of marrying for Okeke wouldn't approve of
Nene simply because she isn't an Ibo. In addition, old-fashioned Okeke's
religious faith is interwoven with tradition. Okeke is against the marriage
because he thinks Nene is evil since she works as a teacher; the Bible says
women should neither teach nor go to schools. Okeke has already arranged
his son a marriage with Ugoye, a girl from their tribe who, in his opinion, has
all the qualifications of a great wife. Young Nnaemeka insists that Nene is a
good housewife with a good Christian background.
From an emotional perspective. Young Nnaemeka is in deep love with Nene
and he does not love Ugoye. However, his dad explains that no one expects
him to love her. He has to marry this dumb tomboy because it is tradition; if
his son breaks tradition then he's disgracing his family. This conflict leads to
Okeke breaking contact with his son for 8 years. Socially speaking, young
Nene does not understand why traditions like arranged marriages and being a
member of a tribe should matter in modern society. However, old-fashioned
villagers say that Nnaemeka's decision to marry Nene is a sign of the mutiny:
Sons shall rise against their fathers !
The story makes it clear that arranged marriages are something that people in
todays society should not agree with. These marriages are not about love;
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linked to your main idea?
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connected to your topic sentence? Is this an
example or an explanation?
Comment [p7]: Who says this?
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they are about the profit that each family can make by marrying their children
to each other. The man usually forces himself onto the woman; women are
usually treated like property. Parents force their children to go through with
arranged marriages or else they are disowned and dishonor their families.
One does not see why people do not just give up these traditions!!
Okeke can hold his emotions in no longer and realizes that family ties are
hard to let go. He wants to meet his family for they are his family and this
dispute has gone on too long and has only wasted time when they could have
could been united. The end suggests that arranged marriages are something
that will slowly fade away as time goes by. They will be seen as a barbaric
practice of the past.
The result of intergenerational conflict, whether it happens or not, the outcome
is very different, because Libyan our culture is intertwined with our
religion(Islam). For example, the existence of the religion of Islam and the
people who follow it, in general, have the same tradition until this moment.
In conclusion, the story explains that there are two different generations with
opposing attitudes, which has its social and emotional aspects. The
fundamental issue outlined is that marriages, are either through love or force.
Our religion plays an integral part in our culture.




Comment [p9]: Word order
Comment [p10]: repetition
Comment [p11]: style
Portfolio Feedback Form
Student Name:
Ahmed Alharmm
Name of Marker:
Peter Lee
Title of portfolio piece:

The Intergenerational conflicts and its Effects on Marriage
Date:
25 / 04 / 2014


What you did well
This is a very promising piece of work. Well done! You have written well-formed sentences
with a competent level of grammatical accuracy. You have included an introduction and
conclusion with some relevant background, and a brief summary of the main ideas in your
conclusion. You have refered to the question and discussed some of the issues related to the
story in some depth with reference to your own culture.

Areas for improvement
Organisation
Your introduction does not fully explain how your essay is organised. You have restated the
question, but you havent indicated how you are planning to answer the question. It should
be clear how your essay is planned in terms of topics (scope) that you will be discussing. You
mention that there are two phases of society, and that you will discuss this in relation to
your culture but you could write more specifically.

Coherency
Some of the transitions or links between your paragraphs arent clear. In your first body
paragraph you discuss atttitides towards love and marriage but there is no indication of this
topic from the introduction. The second body paragraph starts with - Based on this, racism
is suggested as being synonymous with tradition but it isnt clear what this is. You have
also included quite a lot of the detail from the story, but it isnt clear why it is important to
the main idea of you essay.

Language
You have missed reporting verbs when using quotations or referring to someone elses ideas,
thoughts, or speech.

Okeke is against the marriage because Nene is evil since she works as a teacher;

Okeke is against the marriage because he thinks Nene is evil since she works as a teacher;


Sons shall rise against their fathers !

Sons shall rise against their fathers they declare.



Recommendations on how to improve in these areas
Organisation
Plan your work carefully. If you have a clear plan you will be able to see how all the pieces
fit together. Your plan is an essential part of the writing process, and is an important part of
writing an introduction and conclusion. There are several approaches to planning, such as
maing linear notes, or using diagrams for example.

Make sure you are answering the question, and that you understand what the question is
asking. In this case, the question asks you to dicsuss how the conflict affects the characters
in the story, and how it is affecting your culture. Remember that if a question is open-
ended, it is often necessary to narrow it down and say how you intend to answer it.

Coherency
Look at the end of each paragraph and see how it connects with the start of the next one.
Is there a clear transition, or is it strained or missing? Make sure you clearly state the logic
between the transition. Could you miss out a paragraph without losing coherency to your
overall essay? Make the links between paragraphs clear, and if you are having difficulty
linking them together, you may find that reordering them may work better. You may also
consider leaving out some sections that may not be clearly linked to your main idea.

Language
Remember to use reporting verbs when referring to others speech or thoughts. In addition,
in academic writing, reporting verbs are often used to introduce the work of others. There
are many reporting verbs and each one has a slightly different nuance. This means that
each reporting verb may show the writer agrees or disagrees, or is confident, or less
confident about what the person is saying.

Try to make notes when you encounter reporting verbs in academic texts during the
sessions or during lectures. Are they followed by a noun (Peter questioned the findings), or
a preposition (He subscribes to the idea that it is healthy). What are the functions (to
emphasise, or to disagree)? Does it have a strong meaning, or a weaker one?

If you would like to discuss anything relating to this feedback, then please feel free to
contact me.