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Isaiah Beh
Professor Baird
English 1010-089
April 30 2014
A Personal View On Polygamy
Polygamy or polygyny, is the practice of having more than one spouse, mate,
companion, husband, wife, helpmeet, consort, man, woman, hubby, little sweet thing, patni,
manaivi, bodhu, woti, biwi, hendathi, stree, moglie, pun bojo, hotin, dona, and endless other
names for spouses in other languages. Polygamy is practiced in most parts of Africa,
throughout the Middle East, and The Asian Isle. Polygamy is practiced for many different
reasons, whether it is a religious belief, a sign of status and wealth, a necessity caused by
lack of healthy mates, or for just plain fun. (I mean, who wouldnt want three wives
constantly telling you that youre getting fat, and to take the garbage out). Although
polygamy is practiced around the world, it has different effects depending on where and
how it is practiced. The effect I want to concentrate on is; how does being raised in a
polygamous family affect a child in becoming a contributing member of society?
This is an important conversation to me because I was raised within the
nontraditional marital setting of a polygamous relationship. I began by researching the
psychological, sociological, and educational effects on children who were raised in a
polygamous family. I found that due to the social, economical, and psychological stresses
put on the children of polygamous families, polygamy negatively affected children in
becoming contributing members of society. I came to this conclusion by looking at different
stresses put on the children of polygamy.
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The first stressor I researched explored whether stress from societal acceptance
played a part in determining if polygamy had an adverse affect on children. I started by
studying research conducted in countries and communities where polygamy was a socially
accepted form of marriage, such as the Bedouin Arab communities in southern Israel. I
used a study published in the European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry Journal, titled
Polygamy and mental health of adolescents(Hamdan), written by Sami Hamdan, Judy
Auerbach, and Alan Apter as a reference for a society that accepts polygamy as a normal
form of marriage. The study compared educational, developmental, and psychological affects
on children raised in polygamous families, in contrast to children raised in monogamous families
in Bedouin Arab communities.
By comparing children from the two different marital structures, the authors found there
to be many differences. The study showed children from polygamous families in contrast to
monogamous families, externalized their problems more, and had higher levels of attention
problems when it came to schoolwork. The authors suggested that due to the social acceptance of
polygamy, combined with having a large support group as immediate family, polygamy posed
little educational, or developmental dangers. The authors also mentioned that none of the studies
followed polygamous children into their adult years, meaning the long-term effects of being
raised in a polygamous family are not certain.
I found it interesting that there were no conclusive studies done on adults who were
raised in polygamous family because I am an adult who was raised in a polygamous family
therefore I have a different perspective. I have three mothers, eighteen brothers, fourteen sisters,
and one father. The Hamdan study concluded that because of the large support group that comes
with a polygamous family, children were able to overcome other adverse effects of having this
nontraditional upbringing. In my own experience, I feel the Hamdan study was correct in its
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conclusion, even though the study was done it a society where polygamy was an accepted form
of marriage unlike the community I was raised in.
I often wonder, what are the adverse effects on children when polygamy is not a socially
acceptable, or legal, marital status? To answer this question, I read chapter five Christian
Polygyny in the USA in Miriam Zeitzens 2008 book Polygamy: A Cross-culture Analysis.
Zeitzen discusses how the Mormon Church of Latter Day Saints (LDS Church) founded in the
1830s, started the practice of polygamy in the USA for religious purposes. Im sure other
people, besides the LDS Church, were practicing polygamy at this time as well, but the LDS
Church made it a commandment to obtain the highest kingdom of heaven(Zeitzen p 90). The
LDS Church has long stopped this requirement of its members, due to the 1890s decision to stop
the practice, which compromised the state of Utah in becoming a recognized State of the USA.
Since the LDS Churchs decision, polygamy became a socially Taboo form of marriage, even
in the mostly LDS State of Utah.
Zeitzen states that because polygamy is a socially unacceptable, and an illegal form of
marriage, it has adverse effects on the children brought-up in it. Adverse effects include being
ridiculed and bullied at school and in public places. I like to compare it to the desegregation era
of the 1960s, when African-Americans wanted to be treated equally and given the same
opportunities given to whites at that time. African-Americans looked for opportunities, such as
an education, which was necessary to escape the poverty caused by social stigmas, as well as
freedom from persecution and racism. If a society does not accept a certain Race/Lifestyle, it is
very detrimental to the development of the children who have no choice in the matter of their
race or their parents marital status. Polygamy, being a lifestyle that is not socially accepted, puts
stress on a childs social development.

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The next stressor that affects the development of children raised in a polygamous marital
structure is economical stress. Economical stress is not only placed on the father, who must
provide for multiple families (of extreme size), but as well as on the mothers and the children. As
a reference to the economical stress that polygamy puts on a family, I read Christopher Kaczors
2012 article The Perils of Polygamy, which was originally published on The Witherspoon
Institute: Public Discourse internet forum. Kaczor suggests that due to the norm of one
breadwinner in a polygamous family, the financial stress and obligation to provide for such a
large family creates a very absent (figuratively and literally) father. Kaczor explains this point
when he says This dilution of paternal investment is similar in effect to being raised by a
single mother with all its attendant risk factors (especially for males) for drug abuse,
trouble with the law, and dropping out of school(Kaczor). By saying dilution of parental
investment, I believe Kaczor is using investment in a monitorial form as well as an
emotional investment in a childs development.
I agree with Kaczors article on the issue of economic stress that is placed on a
polygamous family because his opinion directly relates with my own experience. Growing
up, my father apprenticed as an accountant, and at that time made 2500.00 dollars a
month. In the late 1980s, this may have been a sufficient amount of money to provide for a
small normal family, but at that time, my father had three wives and twenty-one children.
I am not exaggerating when I say we were a dirt poor family. I would show up to school
so dirty from not bathing because we could not pay the gas bill, causing my teacher to force
me to take a sink bath in the school restroom. I hope I do not have to explain the
psychological problems this created for me, as well as the ridicule I faced from my peers.
Although, any ridicule over-heard by my older siblings (support group) was quickly met
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with a bloody nose for the ridiculer. However, the psychological damage could not be easily
remedied. This psychological damage has carried on throughout my adult life. The
psychological effects that come from being raised in a polygamous family are by far the
most detrimental stressors placed on children raised in polygamy.
I looked at multiple studies, articles, and papers to analyze the different kinds of
psychological stresses and the affects they have on children of polygamy. One of these
papers had to do with the legality that surrounds polygamy, but I also found it spoke of the
detrimental psychological effects polygamy has on children. In Amy Frys 2010 paper
Polygamy in America: How Varying Legal Standards Fail to Protect Mothers and Children
From its Abuses, which was published in the St. Louis University Law Journal, she points
out the many flaws in the judicial practices and laws that surround polygamy. She discusses
the customs of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ (FLDS), an offshoot of the main
stream Mormon (LDS) religion. The FLDS was formed after the LDS Church banned the
practice of polygamy amongst its members.
In some of the sects that practice polygamy, such as the FLDS, it is a common custom
to marry off young girls as soon as these girls are able to produce offspring. Fry states that
there are certain laws in place to protect the parental rights of these young mothers, as well
as laws to protect the children of these young mothers. When I say young, I mean as young
as thirteen, most commonly fifteen. These girls become the 5
th
, 6
th
, 7
th
, 8
th
, and so on wives
of much older men, men as old as sixty years old. The psychological effects of basically
being raped and forced into motherhood at such a young age are extremely detrimental to
the girls development into a contributing member of society. Furthermore,

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the practice of these young mothers teaching their offspring to accept the tradition of
polygamy further perpetuates this psychologically damaging behavior.
In Frys paper, she examines the double-sided-sword of young polygamist mothers
teaching their children to practice polygamy, which is a felony in the USA, and whether
these mothers should be stripped of their parental rights for doing so. Im using this as an
example for two reasons; first, to show the psychological stress that is put on the young
girls involved in polygamy. Second, to show that the practice of teaching polygamous
children to be polygamist when they are adults, is in itself teaching children to commit a
felony crime. This gray line of teaching your children to commit a felony crime, adversely
affects polygamist childrens ability to become contributing members of society.
While the fathers of these FLDS families are marrying the young girls, they are also
banishing the young boys to eliminate competition for new wives. By banishing them, the
fathers drive these boys, usually sixteen years of age, to near by cities and drop them off to
fend for themselves. These boys have become known as lost boys, and most times end up
living on the streets or in homeless youth centers, often turning to drugs, alcohol, and crime
to survive.
I can remember being taught at a very young age that I should practice polygamy
when I came of age. I was taught that it was a personal choice and was not required by my
parents (just god), and if I wanted to go to heaven, instead of a never-ending outer
darkness, I would practice polygamy. I cannot relate with the practice of marrying young
girls. My father had three wives, all of whom he married while he and them were in their
20s. I hope I missed the negative effects of the disgustingly deplorable practice of child
brides.

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In conclusion, due to the social, economical, and psychological stresses put on the
children of polygamous families, polygamy negatively affects children in becoming
contributing adult members of society. This is an issue of great importance to me. When I
began research for this paper, I had a loose idea on how other polygamist children might
have developed, and what sort of factors went into their, as well as my development into an
adult. Personally, I believe that being raised in a polygamous setting had an extremely
adverse effect on how I developed psychologically, socially, as well as slowing my pursuit
for education. I am twenty-nine years old and I am in my first semester of my freshman
year. Even as I write this paper, my upbringing is still hindering my pursuit for education
because instead of writing this in a timely manner I was working two jobs to help the
family that I love so deeply.











Work Cited
Elbedour, Salman, Anthony J. Onwuegbuzie, Corin Caridine, and Hasan Abu-Saad. The Effect
of Polygamous Marital Structure on Behavioral, and Academic Adjustment in Children:
A Comprehensive Review of the Literature. Clinical Child & Family Psychology
Review Vol. 5 Issue 4 (2002), p255-271. Print.
Fry, Amy. Polygamy in America: How the Varying Legal Standards Fail to Protect
Mothers and Children From its Abuses. St. Louis University Law Journal.Vol. 54 Issue
3 (2010), p967-995. Print.
Hamdan, Sami, Judy Auerbach, and Alan Apter. Polygamy and mental health of adolescents.
European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry.Vol. 18 Issue 12 (2009), p755-760. Print.
Kaczor, Christopher. The Perils of Polygamy. The Witherspoon Institute: Public Discourse.
The Witherspoon Institute. 2012. April 04 2014. Web.

Zeitzen, Miriam Koktvedgaard. Christian Polygyny in the USA. Polygamy: A Cross-culture
Analysis. Oxford: Berg. 2008: 089-108. ebook collection