Love Systems Insider

Date: April 2007

Observations from a Los Angeles Bootcamp

Last weekend, The Don and I, with three assistant instructors, taught another great and
rewarding bootcamp.
In no particular order, here are some thoughts and observations that were sparked this weekend,
though of course they come from all of the bootcamps at which I've taught over the past few
years:
• Qualification is the hardest part of the game for someone new. The mechanics aren't
terribly complicated, but it can be tough for men who are not used to getting so much
attraction from women so quickly (some of our students are quite advanced already;
these guys usually have different problems that I will cover below) to "risk" that
attraction by making her work for your interest. In truth, you are risking nothing –
attracting a woman without qualifying her does not usually get you very far and often
leads to lots of flakes as well as difficulties in the seduction phase.
KEY INSIGHT TO REMEMBER: If she doesn't feel like she knows why you like her,
then you're not building on a solid foundation. I chose my words carefully by the way –
she has to "feel like she knows" as opposed to "know" – while qualification can be
described as a logical process, to most women it's an emotional one. Does she feel that
she showed you something about herself that made her unique in your eyes and made
you interested in her?
• More advanced bootcamp students often suffer from either setting their sights too low or
not having a coherent identity. At pretty much every bootcamp there are at least a couple
of men who can consistently meet women, attract them, make plans, and get phone
numbers. What we teach these men to do is A) go for the most desirable women and B)
push the interaction beyond a phone number (you don't need to take her home, though
that's often the goal, but moving to any different location will solidify her interest in you
and the connection you build). Often when these successful men try to play on this
harder level, other issues in their game surface which we can then correct. One of the
most common of these is identity. A highly-desirable woman has to know who you are
(usually expressed by your choice of profession or serious hobby) and you must act and
appear to be consistent with this identity. For highly-desirable women, this identity
should be one that she would feel proud to be associated with.
KEY INSIGHT TO REMEMBER: Never settle for a phone number. Never settle for
women who aren't as desirable to you as others you would like to meet. Figure out who
you are so that you have a good, but not bragging, answer to the question "what do you
do" and ensure that you act and dress and surround yourself with people who are
consistent with this identity. If your identity is not itself attractive, either present it
 differently or develop your lifestyle with the purpose of improving your identity (we
occasionally offer identity coaching through individualized 'one on one' training).
• There is a direct correlation between the guys who are taking notes and asking questions
during the seminar part of the bootcamp and the guys who get the greatest results at
night. Even though the bootcamps are fun, you need to approach them from the
perspective of soaking up knowledge. The guy who had printed out a copy of Magic
Bullets, had questions prepared in advanced, and was taking notes in the margins was
also one of the first to get makeouts on Saturday night. This isn't a coincidence. We make
them three days for a reason; there's a lot to teach.

• You really can't overestimate the value of the basics. Even the advanced guys were
tripping up on these from time to time, and there's no excuse for not having this stuff
nailed 100% of the time:
○ Smile and be having fun when you're between interactions with different groups.
○ Be loud enough when you open that everyone can hear you. You should never be
ignored or have to repeat yourself.
○ Don't lean in. Always stand up straight, even if she is sitting down.
○ If she is sitting down, sit down as well within the first few seconds.
I virtually guarantee that you're making one of these four mistakes. Nearly everyone is.
All in all, a good bootcamp!
Savoy