Two
Boys,
Similar
Back‐

grounds:
One
Goes
To
Prison


and
One
Does
Not:
Why?





Jane
F.
Gilgun,
Ph.D.,
LICSW















Jane
F.
Gilgun,
Ph.D.,
LICSW,
is
a
professor,
School
of
Social

Work,
University
of
Minnesota,
Twin
Cities,
USA.
See
Profes‐
sor
Gilgun’s
other
articles,
books,
and
children’s
stories
on

Amazon
Kindle,
scribd.com/professorjane,
and

stores.lulu.com/jgilgun

 

Two
Boys,
Similar
Backgrounds:


One
Goes
to
Prison
and
one
Does
Not:
Why?




P

icture
 two
 boys
 growing
 up
 in
 the
 same
 neighbor‐
hood.
Both
are
10,
live
in
middle‐class
neighborhoods,

are
 intelligent,
 and
 witnessed
 their
 fathers
 beating

their
mothers.
Their
fathers
beat
both
of
them.
Both
experi‐
enced
 sexual
 abuse.
 The
 person
 who
 sexually
 abused
 Rob

was
 his
 father.
 The
 person
 who
 sexually
 abused
 Marty
 was

an
older
kid
in
the
neighborhood.



One
 will
 grow
 into
 responsible
 adulthood:
 optimistic,
 a
 lov‐
ing
 husband
 and
 father,
 and
 a
 dependable
 employee.
 The

other
will
become
a
prison
inmate.



What
creates
the
difference
in
these
two
lives?



Rob:
Trust
in
Others



Rob
 confided
 in
 a
 friend
 named
 Pete
 when
 his
 father
 beat

him
and
when
he
had
worries
about
school,
friendships,
and

money.
 
 He
 learned
 from
 Pete’s
 father
 how
 to
 fix
 electronic

equipment.
 He
 tried
 to
 be
 like
 his
 friend’s
 father.
 
 He
 liked

school
and
enjoyed
playing
with
other
kids
at
school
and
in

the
neighborhood



As
 Rob
 grew
 older,
 his
 circle
 of
 friends
 widened.
 He
 devel‐
oped
 hopes
 and
 dreams
 for
 the
 future.
 
 He
 kept
 a
 diary

where
he
recorded
secret
stuff
about
his
troubles
in
his
fam‐
ily,
his
feelings
for
girls,
and
how
his
day
went.
He
got
drunk

at
a
party
when
he
was
16
and
didn’t
like
the
feeling
of
being

out
of
control.
After
that
he
drank
only
occasionally,
and
not

too
much.



As
 a
 young
 adult,
 Rob
 sought
 professional
 help
 for
 his
 feel‐
ings
 of
 anger,
 sadness,
 and
 frustration
 about
 the
 abuse
 he

experienced
as
a
child.



Marty:
Broken
Trust



Marty,
at
the
age
of
eight,
confided
in
a
teacher
that
his
father

beat
him.
He
also
wanted
to
tell
the
teacher
about
the
older

boy
 in
 the
 neighborhood
 who
 sexually
 abused
 him,
 but
 he

thought
 he
 would
 wait
 to
 see
 how
 the
 teacher
 handled
 the

news
of
his
physical
abuse.
The
teacher
called
his
father,
who

said
he
had
never
beaten
Marty.
When
Marty
got
home
from

school,
his
father
beat
him
for
telling
the
teacher.



Marty
never
confided
in
anyone
again.
Instead,
he
tried
to
be

tough,
 like
 men
 he
 saw
 in
 video
 games
 and
 on
 TV.
 They

didn’t
 feel
 hurt
 or
 helpless.
 
 They
 took
 what
 they
 wanted.


They
were
in
charge.




By
the
age
of
10,
Marty
was
stealing
from
stores
and
harass‐
ing
 other
 children,
 physically
 and
 sexually.
 
 He
 was
 doing

poorly
 in
 school
 At
 11,
 he
 joined
 a
 group
 who
 stole
 and

sometimes
 attacked
 others,
 vandalized
 property,
 and
 used

alcohol
and
drugs.
Marty
told
himself
he
was
having
fun.



At
14,
Marty
was
in
a
juvenile
correctional
center.
Five
years

later,
he
was
convicted
and
sentenced
to
12
years
in
prison

for
criminal
sexual
conduct.




Similar
Risks,
Different
Outcomes



As
children,
Rob
and
Marty
were
both
at
risk
for
committing

violent
acts.

One
had
on‐going
relationships
with
people
he

trusted
 and
 in
 whom
 he
 confided
 personal,
 sensitive
 infor‐
mation.
Doing
so
helped
him
feel
better.
Positive
experiences

and
relationships
were
protective
factors.



Marty
had
some
protective
factors,
but
a
pile‐up
of
risk
fac‐
tors
 overwhelmed
 them.
 His
 life
 might
 have
 been
 far

different
had
there
been
early
and
effective
responses
to
his

report
of
physical
abuse
at
home.

Resilience



Many
people
have
risks
for
outcomes
like
Marty’s,
but
most

people
with
these
risks
turn
out
like
Rob
because
they
have

many
positive
factors
in
their
lives
that
they
use
to
help
them

work
through
the
effects
of
these
risks.



Such
people
are
resilient,
meaning
they
have
learned
to
cope

with,
adapt
to,
or
overcome
risks,
because
they
use
the
posi‐
tive
 things
 in
 their
 lives.
 Rob,
 for
 instance,
 trusted
 Pete
 and

Pet’s
 family.
 He
 gained
 a
 sense
 of
 self‐worth
 through
 his

close
relationships
with
them.




He
 never
 sexually
 abused
 anyone,
 and
 at
 a
 party
 when
 he

was
 a
 teen,
 he
 stopped
 another
 boy
 from
 raping
 a
 girl
 who

had
had
too
much
to
drink.
“He
might
have
put
something
in

her
drink,”
Rob
said.





Other
 people
 are
 not
 resilient.
 
 In
 Marty’s
 case,
 he
 made
 a

decision
early
in
life
never
to
trust
anyone
else.

He
was
far

too
young
to
understand
the
consequences
of
his
decision.



When
we
look
at
the
numbers
of
children
who
are
hurt
and

afraid,
what
can
each
of
us
do
to
help
these
children
build
the

trust
 required
 to
 begin
 to
 deal
 with
 the
 difficult
 events
 in

their
lives?



Bridge­Building



Only
trained
professionals
can
provide
hurt
children
with

the
extensive
help
they
require,
but
people
can
become

bridges
for
hurt
children,
bridges
that
lead
to
safe
and
secure

relationships
with
competent
professionals
who
can
help

children
deal
with
the
harsh
realities
in
their
lives.



In
the
best
of
all
worlds,
the
children’s
parents
will
walk
with

their
children
across
that
bridge
to
professional
help.
When

parents
 cannot
 do
 this,
 then
 their
 children
 will
 have
 a

tougher
 time,
 but
 they
 may
 be
 lucky
 as
 Rob
 was
 and
 find
 a

network
 of
 people
 who
 will
 care
 about
 them
 and
 stick
 with

them
over
the
long
term.

 References

Gilgun, Jane F. (2006). Children and adolescents with

problematic sexual behaviors: Lessons from research on resil-
ience. In Robert Longo & Dave Prescott (Eds.), Current
perspectives on working with sexually aggressive youth and
youth with sexual behavior problems (pp. 383-394). Holyoke,
MA: Neari Press.


 Gilgun,
Jane
F.,
&
Laura
S.
Abrams
(2005).

Gendered

adaptations,
resilience,
and
the
perpetration
of
violence.

In

Michael
Ungar
(Ed.),
Handbook
for
working
with
children
and

youth:
Pathways
to
resilience
across
cultures
and
context
(pp.


57‐70).

Toronto:
University
of
Toronto
Press.


Gilgun, Jane F. Christian Klein, & Kay Pranis. (2000). The
significance of resources in models of risk, Journal of
Interpersonal Violence, 14, 627-646.

Gilgun, Jane F., & Alankaar Sharma (2008). Child sexual

abuse. In Jeffrey L. Edleson & Claire M. Renzetti (Eds.) Ency-
clopedia of Interpersonal Violence (pp. 122-125). Thousand
Oaks, CA: Sage.

Gilgun, Jane F., Susan Keskinen, Danette Jones Marti, &

Kay Rice. (1999). Clinical applications of the CASPARS
instruments: Boys who act out sexually. Families in Society, 80,
629-641.