Stephen Cave: The 4 stories

we tell ourselves about death

I have a question: Who here remembers when they first realized they were going to die?
I do I was a young boy! and my grandfather had "ust died! and I remember a few days later
lying in bed at night trying to ma#e sense of what had happened What did it mean that he
was dead? Where had he gone? It was li#e a hole in reality had opened up and swallowed
him $ut then the really sho%#ing question o%%urred to me: If he %ould die! %ould it happen to
me too? Could that hole in reality open up and swallow me? Would it open up beneath my
bed and swallow me as I slept? Well! at some point! all %hildren be%ome aware of death It
%an happen in different ways! of %ourse! and usually %omes in stages &ur idea of death
develops as we grow older 'nd if you rea%h ba%# into the dar# %orners of your memory! you
might remember something li#e what I felt when my grandfather died and when I realized it
%ould happen to me too! that sense that behind all of this the void is waiting
'nd this development in %hildhood refle%ts the development of our spe%ies (ust as there was
a point in your development as a %hild when your sense of self and of time be%ame
sophisti%ated enough for you to realize you were mortal! so at some point in the evolution of
our spe%ies! some early human)s sense of self and of time be%ame sophisti%ated enough for
them to be%ome the first human to realize! *I)m going to die* This is! if you li#e! our %urseIt)s
the pri%e we pay for being so damn %lever We have to live in the #nowledge that the worst
thing that %an possibly happen one day surely will! the end of all our pro"e%ts! our hopes! our
dreams! of our individual world We ea%h live in the shadow of a personalapo%alypse
'nd that)s frightening It)s terrifying 'nd so we loo# for a way out 'nd in my %ase! as I was
about five years old! this meant as#ing my mum +ow when I first started as#ing what
happens when we die! the grown,ups around me at the time answered with a typi%al -nglish
mi. of aw#wardness and half,hearted Christianity! and the phrase I heard most often was that
granddad was now *up there loo#ing down on us!* and if I should die too! whi%h wouldn)t
happen of %ourse! then I too would go up there! whi%h made death sound a lot li#e an
e.istential elevator +ow this didn)t sound very plausible I used to wat%h a %hildren)s news
program at the time! and this was the era of spa%e e.ploration There were always ro%#ets
going up into the s#y! up into spa%e! going up there $ut none of the astronauts when they
%ame ba%# ever mentioned having met my granddad or any other dead people $ut I was
s%ared! and the idea of ta#ing the e.istential elevator to see my granddad sounded a lot
better than being swallowed by the void while I slept 'nd so I believed it anyway! even
though it didn)t ma#e mu%h sense
'nd this thought pro%ess that I went through as a %hild! and have been through many times
sin%e! in%luding as a grown,up! is a produ%t of what psy%hologists %all a bias +ow a bias is a
way in whi%h we systemati%ally get things wrong! ways in whi%h we mis%al%ulate!
mis"udge! distort reality! or see what we want to see! and the bias I)m tal#ing about wor#s li#e
this: Confront someone with the fa%t that they are going to die and they will believe "ust about
any story that tells them it isn)t true and they %an! instead! live forever! even if it means ta#ing
the e.istential elevator +ow we %an see this as the biggest bias of all It has been
demonstrated in over 4// empiri%al studies +ow these studies are ingenious! but they)re
simple They wor# li#e this 0ou ta#e two groups of people who are similar in all relevant
respe%ts! and you remind one group that they)re going to die but not the other! then you
%ompare their behavior So you)re observing how it biases behavior when people be%ome
aware of their mortality 'nd every time! you get the same result: 1eople who are made
aware of their mortality are more willing to believe stories that tell them they %an es%ape
death and live forever So here)s an e.ample: &ne re%ent study too# two groups of
agnosti%s! that is people who are unde%ided in their religious beliefs +ow! one group was
as#ed to thin# about being dead The other group was as#ed to thin# about being lonelyThey
were then as#ed again about their religious beliefs Those who had been as#ed to thin# about
being dead were afterwards twi%e as li#ely to e.press faith in 2od and (esusTwi%e as
li#ely -ven though the before they were all equally agnosti% $ut put the fear of death in
them! and they run to (esus
+ow! this shows that reminding people of death biases them to believe! regardless of the
eviden%e! and it wor#s not "ust for religion! but for any #ind of belief system that promises
immortality in some form! whether it)s be%oming famous or having %hildren or even
nationalism! whi%h promises you %an live on as part of a greater whole This is a bias that has
shaped the %ourse of human history
+ow! the theory behind this bias in the over 4// studies is %alled terror management
theory!and the idea is simple It)s "ust this We develop our worldviews! that is! the stories we
tell ourselves about the world and our pla%e in it! in order to help us manage the terror of
death'nd these immortality stories have thousands of different manifestations! but I believe
that behind the apparent diversity there are a%tually "ust four basi% forms that these
immortality stories %an ta#e 'nd we %an see them repeating themselves throughout history!
"ust with slight variations to refle%t the vo%abulary of the day +ow I)m going to briefly
introdu%e these four basi% forms of immortality story! and I want to try to give you some
sense of the way in whi%h they)re retold by ea%h %ulture or generation using the vo%abulary of
their day
+ow! the first story is the simplest We want to avoid death! and the dream of doing that in
this body in this world forever is the first and simplest #ind of immortality story! and it might at
first sound implausible! but a%tually! almost every %ulture in human history has had some
myth or legend of an eli.ir of life or a fountain of youth or something that promises to #eep us
going forever 'n%ient -gypt had su%h myths! an%ient $abylon! an%ient India Throughout
-uropean history! we find them in the wor# of the al%hemists! and of %ourse we still believe
this today! only we tell this story using the vo%abulary of s%ien%e So 3// years ago!hormones
had "ust been dis%overed! and people hoped that hormone treatments were going to %ure
aging and disease! and now instead we set our hopes on stem %ells! geneti% engineering! and
nanote%hnology $ut the idea that s%ien%e %an %ure death is "ust one more %hapter in the
story of the magi%al eli.ir! a story that is as old as %ivilization $ut betting everything on the
idea of finding the eli.ir and staying alive forever is a ris#y strategy When we loo# ba%#
through history at all those who have sought an eli.ir in the past! the one thing they now have
in %ommon is that they)re all dead
So we need a ba%#up plan! and e.a%tly this #ind of plan $ is what the se%ond #ind of
immortality story offers! and that)s resurre%tion 'nd it stays with the idea that I am this body! I
am this physi%al organism It a%%epts that I)m going to have to die but says! despite that! I %an
rise up and I %an live again In other words! I %an do what (esus did (esus died! he was three
days in the 4tomb5! and then he rose up and lived again 'nd the idea that we %an all be
resurre%ted to live again is orthodo. believe! not "ust for Christians but also (ews and
6uslims $ut our desire to believe this story is so deeply embedded that we are reinventing it
again for the s%ientifi% age! for e.ample! with the idea of %ryoni%s That)s the idea that when
you die! you %an have yourself frozen! and then! at some point when te%hnology has
advan%ed enough! you %an be thawed out and repaired and revived and so resurre%ted 'nd
so some people believe an omnipotent god will resurre%t them to live again! and other people
believe an omnipotent s%ientist will do it
$ut for others! the whole idea of resurre%tion! of %limbing out of the grave! it)s "ust too mu%h
li#e a bad zombie movie They find the body too messy! too unreliable to guarantee eternal
life! and so they set their hopes on the third! more spiritual immortality story! the idea that we
%an leave our body behind and live on as a soul +ow! the ma"ority of people on -arthbelieve
they have a soul! and the idea is %entral to many religions $ut even though! in its %urrent
form! in its traditional form! the idea of the soul is still hugely popular! nonetheless we are
again reinventing it for the digital age! for e.ample with the idea that you %an leave your body
behind by uploading your mind! your essen%e! the real you! onto a %omputer! and so live on
as an avatar in the ether
$ut of %ourse there are s#epti%s who say if we loo# at the eviden%e of s%ien%e! parti%ularly
neuros%ien%e! it suggests that your mind! your essen%e! the real you! is very mu%h dependent
on a parti%ular part of your body! that is! your brain 'nd su%h s#epti%s %an find %omfort in the
fourth #ind of immortality story! and that is lega%y! the idea that you %an live on through the
e%ho you leave in the world! li#e the great 2ree# warrior '%hilles! who sa%rifi%ed his life
fighting at Troy so that he might win immortal fame 'nd the pursuit of fame is as
widespread and popular now as it ever was! and in our digital age! it)s even easier to
a%hieve 0ou don)t need to be a great warrior li#e '%hilles or a great #ing or hero 'll you
need is an Internet %onne%tion and a funny %at 78aughter9 $ut some people prefer to leave a
more tangible! biologi%al lega%y ,, %hildren! for e.ample &r they li#e! they hope! to live onas
part of some greater whole! a nation or a family or a tribe! their gene pool $ut again! there
are s#epti%s who doubt whether lega%y really is immortality Woody 'llen! for e.ample! who
said! *I don)t want to live on in the hearts of my %ountrymen I want to live on in my
apartment*
So those are the four basi% #inds of immortality stories! and I)ve tried to give "ust some
sense of how they)re retold by ea%h generation with "ust slight variations to fit the fashions of
the day 'nd the fa%t that they re%ur in this way! in su%h a similar form but in su%h different
belief systems! suggests! I thin#! that we should be s#epti%al of the truth of any parti%ular
version of these stories The fa%t that some people believe an omnipotent god will resurre%t
them to live again and others believe an omnipotent s%ientist will do it suggests that neither
are really believing this on the strength of the eviden%e :ather! we believe these
storiesbe%ause we are biased to believe them! and we are biased to believe them be%ause
we are so afraid of death
So the question is! are we doomed to lead the one life we have in a way that is shaped by
fear and denial! or %an we over%ome this bias? Well the 2ree# philosopher -pi%urus thought
we %ould ;e argued that the fear of death is natural! but it is not rational *<eath!* he said! *is
nothing to us! be%ause when we are here! death is not! and when death is here! we are
gone* +ow this is often quoted! but it)s diffi%ult to really grasp! to really internalize! be%ause
e.a%tly this idea of being gone is so diffi%ult to imagine So =!/// years later! another
philosopher! 8udwig Wittgenstein! put it li#e this: *<eath is not an event in life: We do not live
to e.perien%e death 'nd so!* he added! *in this sense! life has no end*
So it was natural for me as a %hild to fear being swallowed by the void! but it wasn)t
rational!be%ause being swallowed by the void is not something that any of us will ever live to
e.perien%e
+ow! over%oming this bias is not easy be%ause the fear of death is so deeply embedded in
us! yet when we see that the fear itself is not rational! and when we bring out into the openthe
ways in whi%h it %an un%ons%iously bias us! then we %an at least start to try to minimize the
influen%e it has on our lives
+ow! I find it helps to see life as being li#e a boo#: (ust as a boo# is bounded by its %overs!by
beginning and end! so our lives are bounded by birth and death! and even though a boo# is
limited by beginning and end! it %an en%ompass distant lands%apes! e.oti% figures! fantasti%
adventures 'nd even though a boo# is limited by beginning and end! the %hara%ters within
it #now no horizons They only #now the moments that ma#e up their story! even when the
boo# is %losed 'nd so the %hara%ters of a boo# are not afraid of rea%hing the last page 8ong
(ohn Silver is not afraid of you finishing your %opy of *Treasure Island* 'nd so it should be
with us Imagine the boo# of your life! its %overs! its beginning and end! and your birth and
your death 0ou %an only #now the moments in between! the moments that ma#e up your
life It ma#es no sense for you to fear what is outside of those %overs! whether before your
birth or after your death 'nd you needn)t worry how long the boo# is! or whether it)s a %omi%
strip or an epi% The only thing that matters is that you ma#e it a good story
Than# you
7'pplause9