Content Index

Dedication ....................................................................................... 1
Acknowledgement ..........................................................................3
Foreword .........................................................................................4
Preface ............................................................................................. 5
Introduction ....................................................................................7
1 ACKNOWLEDGING CHANGE ........................................10
1.1 What is change? ........................................................... 10
1.2 When do we change? ...................................................12
2 THE AWARENESS ............................................................. 14
2.1 Deciding the change ....................................................14
2.2 Involving Others .......................................................... 15
2.2.1
Feminine Input ......................................................... 16
3 THE ANALYSIS...................................................................18
3.1 Emotional..................................................................... 19
3.1.1
Emotional Intelligence in Action ............................. 19
3.1.2
Increasing Emotional Intelligence ........................... 20
3.2 Moral Character ........................................................... 22
3.2.1
The Eight Pillars of Character..................................23
3.3 Intellectual ...................................................................24
3.3.1
The Mechanic vs the academic. ............................... 25
3.3.2
Knowledge ............................................................... 27
3.3.2.1 Innovating Knowledge Area ................................ 28
3.3.2.2 Nurturing & Growing Knowledge Area...............29
3.3.2.3 Expressive Knowledge Area ................................ 31
3.3.2.4 Building & Organizing Knowledge Area.............32
3.3.2.5 Adventuring Knowledge Area ............................. 33
3.3.2.6 Healing & Teaching Knowledge Area .................34
3.3.2.7 Scientific Knowledge Area ..................................35
3.3.2.8 Administrative Knowledge Area .......................... 36
3.3.2.9 Guiding Knowledge Area.....................................37
3.3.3
Skills ........................................................................37
3.3.4
Attitude .................................................................... 37
3.4 Financial ......................................................................38

3.5 Spiritual .......................................................................40

3.5.1
Knowing how spirituality differs from
religion 43
3.5.2
Religion and spirituality can blend beautifully ........43
3.5.3
Observations ............................................................ 44
3.6 Family ..........................................................................46
3.6.1
As a Father ............................................................... 46
3.6.1.1 As a Step father ....................................................47
3.6.1.2 As a Grand Father. ...............................................48
3.6.1.3 As a God Father....................................................49
3.6.1.4 Fathering your daughter .......................................49
3.6.1.5 Fathering your son ................................................50
3.6.2
As a Son ...................................................................51
3.6.2.1 As a son-in-law.....................................................51
3.6.3
As a Brother ............................................................. 51
3.6.3.1 As a Brother-in-Law.............................................52
3.6.4
As an Uncle .............................................................. 52
3.6.4.1 How to be an awesome uncle ............................... 53
3.6.5
As a Lover ................................................................ 54
3.6.6
As a Friend ............................................................... 54
3.6.7
As an Employee and Colleague ............................... 56
3.7 Physical ........................................................................60
3.7.1
Physical Attractiveness ............................................60
3.7.1.1 Fashion .................................................................64
3.7.1.2 Dress codes in effect ............................................64
3.7.1.2.1 White Tie ......................................................... 65
3.7.1.2.2 Black Tie/Formal .............................................65
3.7.1.2.3 Lounge Suit ......................................................65
3.7.1.2.4 Cocktail ............................................................ 66
3.7.1.2.5 Business Attire ................................................. 66
3.7.1.2.6 Smart Casual .................................................... 66
3.7.1.2.7 Casual .............................................................. 67
3.7.1.2.8 Not Accepted Attire .........................................67
3.8 Medical ........................................................................69

3.8.1
Hair .......................................................................... 71
3.8.2
Facial Skin ............................................................... 71
3.8.3
Eyes ..........................................................................72
3.8.4
Facial Hair ................................................................ 73
3.8.5
Mouth .......................................................................74
3.8.6
Ear ............................................................................ 74
3.8.6.1 Cleaning your ears ................................................74
3.8.6.2 Illness and Medications ........................................75
3.8.6.3 Noise.....................................................................75
3.8.6.4 Safety Issues ......................................................... 76
3.8.6.5 General Care ......................................................... 76
3.8.7
Muscles .................................................................... 79
3.8.8
Arms ......................................................................... 79
3.8.9
Butt ........................................................................... 80
3.8.10 Penis .........................................................................80
3.8.10.1 Impotence ............................................................. 80
3.8.11 Body Odour .............................................................. 82
3.8.11.1 What causes body odour? .....................................82
3.8.11.2 How can I reduce body odor? .............................. 82
3.8.12 Heart ......................................................................... 83
3.8.12.1 Don't smoke or use tobacco.................................. 83
3.8.12.2 Get regular health screenings ............................... 84
3.8.12.3 Maintain a healthy weight ....................................85
3.8.12.4 Eat a heart-healthy diet .........................................86
3.8.12.5 Exercise for 30 minutes ........................................87
3.8.13 Liver ......................................................................... 88
3.8.13.1 Symptoms of liver problems ................................ 88
3.8.13.2 Healthy Liver Tips ...............................................89
3.8.13.3 Liver Detoxification .............................................90
3.8.13.3.1 Liver detoxification preparation..................... 91
3.8.14 Kidney ......................................................................92
3.8.14.1 Kidney failure facts ..............................................94
3.8.15 Skin ..........................................................................95
3.8.15.1 Skin Conditions .................................................... 96

3.8.15.2 Skin Treatments....................................................98

3.8.16 Intestines ................................................................ 100
3.8.16.1 Intestine Treatments ...........................................101
3.8.17 Male Nutrition ........................................................ 102
3.8.17.1 Carbohydrates..................................................... 102
3.8.17.2 Proteins ............................................................... 103
3.8.17.3 Healthy Fats........................................................ 103
3.8.17.4 Putting It All Together .......................................104
3.8.17.5 Testosterone boosting nutrition .......................... 104
3.9 Mental ........................................................................106
3.9.1
Mental Health Assessment .....................................106
3.9.2
Stress ......................................................................109
3.9.2.1 How do you respond to stress? ........................... 110
3.9.2.2 Signs and symptoms of stress overload..............111
3.9.2.3 How much stress is too much? ........................... 112
3.9.2.4 Causes of stress ..................................................114
3.9.2.4.1 Common external causes of stress .................115
3.9.2.4.2 Common internal causes of stress..................115
3.9.2.5 Dealing with stress and its symptoms ................115
3.9.2.6 Learn how to manage stress ............................... 115
3.9.2.6.1 Avoid unnecessary stress ............................... 116
3.9.2.6.2 Alter the situation ..........................................117
3.9.2.6.3 Adapt to the stressor ......................................118
3.9.2.6.4 Accept the things you cant change ...............119
3.9.2.6.5 Make time for fun and relaxation ..................120
3.9.2.6.6 Adopt a healthy lifestyle ................................ 120
3.9.2.6.7 Learn how to relax ......................................... 121
3.9.2.6.8 Learn quick stress relief .................................122
3.10 Social .........................................................................123
3.10.1 Behaviours at Social gatherings ............................. 123
3.10.1.1 Table Etiquette ...................................................127
3.10.1.1.1 Making Restaurant Reservations: ................127
3.10.1.1.2 How to use napkins: .....................................127
3.10.1.1.3 When to start eating: ....................................128

3.10.1.1.4 Using your silverware and dinnerware: .......128

3.10.1.2 Eating: ................................................................ 130
3.10.1.3 Table Manners ....................................................132
3.10.1.4 An Observation ..................................................134
3.10.1.5 My story ............................................................. 136
3.10.2 Relationships .......................................................... 137
3.10.2.1 As a Friend and Lover ........................................141
3.10.2.2 Past Relationships ..............................................143
3.10.2.3 The Pilot Fish .....................................................146
3.10.2.4 Courtship ............................................................ 147
3.10.2.5 Dating younger women ......................................151
3.10.2.6 Dating older women ...........................................153
3.10.2.6.1 Reasons for dating older women ..................153
3.10.2.7 The Extramarital Relationship ........................... 157
3.10.2.7.1 Extra-Marital Relationship Exposed ............159
3.10.2.8 Jealousy .............................................................. 160
3.10.2.9 Jealous and Abusive ...........................................162
3.10.2.10 Domestic Violence .........................................164
3.10.2.11 The Abused Man ............................................167
3.10.2.12 The Abused Woman .......................................171
3.10.2.13 Managing Breakups ........................................ 172
3.11 Acceptance.................................................................176
MANAGING FEARS ......................................................... 177
4.1 Fear definition............................................................ 177
4.1.1
Recognizing your fears ..........................................177
4.2 Phobias.......................................................................177
4.2.1
Symptoms of Phobias ............................................ 178
4.2.2
Types of Phobias ....................................................178
4.2.3
Treatments for Phobias ..........................................180
4.2.3.1 Homophobia ....................................................... 181
4.2.3.2 SmallCockophobia .............................................181
4.2.3.3 UnsatisfyHerphobia ............................................183
4.2.4
Prostate Cancer ...................................................... 185
4.2.4.1 Prostate Cancer Prevention ................................ 186

4.2.5
Sexually Transmitted Diseases .............................. 190
4.2.6
Handling Cowardice ..............................................191
4.2.6.1 Signs of cowardice .............................................191
4.2.7
Premature Ejaculation ............................................193
4.2.7.1 Causes of Premature Ejaculation........................ 193
4.2.7.2 Techniques in preventing ...................................195
4.2.7.2.1 The pelvic muscles- ....................................... 195
4.2.7.2.2 Start-stop method ...........................................195
4.2.7.2.3 Masturbation ..................................................197
4.2.7.2.4 Sex positions .................................................. 198
4.2.7.2.5 Other treatments.............................................198
MANAGING VICES .......................................................... 200
5.1 Gambling ...................................................................200
5.1.1
Problem gambling, .................................................200
5.1.2
Curing gambling ....................................................201
5.2 Alcoholism.................................................................203
5.2.1
Alcohol abuse......................................................... 203
5.2.2
Alcohol dependence ...............................................203
5.2.3
Signs and Symptoms of Alcoholism ...................... 204
5.2.3.1 Early Signs of a Problem ....................................204
5.2.3.2 Symptoms of Alcohol Abuse ............................. 204
5.2.3.3 Symptoms of Alcoholism ................................... 205
5.2.3.4 Treatment and drugs ........................................... 205
5.3 Pornography............................................................... 208
5.3.1
Some signs of porn addiction.................................210
5.3.2
Attacking the addiction ..........................................210
5.4 Masturbation .............................................................. 211
5.5 Infidelity ....................................................................215
5.5.1
What is Cheating Today? ....................................... 215
5.5.2
Causes of Infidelity ................................................216
5.5.3
How To Deal With Infidelity .................................217
5.5.4
Warning Signs of Infidelity ...................................218
5.6 Drug Abuse & Addiction ...........................................219
5.6.1
Understanding drug use/abuse/addiction ...............219

5.6.2
Why do some drug users become addicted? .......... 219
5.6.3
Drug addiction and the brain..................................220
5.6.4
How drug abuse and addiction can develop ..........221
5.6.5
Myths about Drug Abuse and Addiction ...............222
5.6.6
Signs, symptoms of drug abuse and addiction .......224
5.6.6.1 Signs and symptoms of drug abuse ....................224
5.6.6.2 Signs and symptoms of drug addiction ..............224
5.6.7
Warning signs that you are abusing drugs .............225
5.6.7.1 Physical warning signs of drug abuse ................225
5.6.7.2 Behavioral signs of drug abuse .......................... 226
5.6.7.3 Psychological warning signs of drug abuse .......226
5.6.8
Warning Signs of Commonly Abused Drugs ........ 226
5.7 Pedophilia .................................................................. 228
5.7.1
Characteristics of a Pedophile:............................... 229
5.7.2
Pedophilic preferences ...........................................229
5.7.3
The Target Child: ...................................................230
5.7.4
Manipulation of the Innocent: ................................ 230
5.7.5
Stockholm Syndrome : ...........................................231
5.7.6
The Single Parent Home ........................................231
5.7.6.1 The Trusting Mothers .........................................231
5.7.6.1.1 Story 1-The Boyfriend ...................................232
5.7.6.1.2 Story 2-The Father .........................................233
5.7.6.1.3 My 1st Warning ..............................................233
5.7.6.1.4 My 2nd Warning .............................................234
5.7.7
Fighting Back ......................................................... 234
5.8 Incest ..........................................................................235
5.8.1
A thorough definition of Incest .............................. 236
5.8.2
The negative effects of incest ................................ 236
5.8.3
Treatment for Incest Perpetrators.......................... 237
5.9 Rape ...........................................................................238
5.9.1
Understanding the Perpetrator ............................... 238
5.9.1.1 Personality Characteristics: ................................ 239
5.9.1.2 Observations from research conducted ..............240
5.9.2
Treatment of the rape perpetrator .......................... 241

5.10 The Capital Vices Vs Virtues ....................................242

5.10.1 7 Deadly sins .......................................................... 242
5.10.2 7 Heavenly Virtues ................................................244
MANAGING HABITS ....................................................... 246
6.1 Understanding Habit Formation ................................ 247
6.1.1
What is perversion?................................................247
6.1.2
Causes of perversion ..............................................248
6.1.3
Am I a pervert? ...................................................... 249
6.1.4
Steps in addressing perversion ............................... 249
6.2 Sexual Harassment ....................................................251
6.3 Sex discrimination .....................................................253
6.4 Sexism .......................................................................253
6.5 Stalking ......................................................................253
6.5.1
Stalking Can Become Violent ................................ 255
6.5.2
The Female Stalker ................................................256
6.6 Snacking non-stop, even when not hungry. ...............257
6.7 Too much TV............................................................. 258
6.8 Overspending your way into debt. ............................. 260
6.9 Eating too much fast food. .........................................261
6.10 Skipping breakfast. ....................................................262
6.11 Smoking cigarettes. ...................................................264
6.12 Overusing pain killers and sedatives. ........................ 265
6.13 Clownism ...................................................................267
6.13.1 Reverseing Clownism ............................................268
MANAGING SEXPECTATIONS ....................................271
7.1 PreCourse...................................................................272
7.1.1
Sex Anticipation Fail .............................................274
7.2 OuterCourse ............................................................... 276
7.2.1
Oral Sex .................................................................277
7.3 InterCourse ................................................................ 279
7.3.1
Sexual Positions .....................................................283
7.3.2
Intercourse during menstruation ............................ 287
7.3.3
Anal Sex .................................................................288
7.3.4
Pregnancy and STDs ..............................................292

7.4 AfterCourse ............................................................... 293

7.4.1
The AfterCourse Survey ........................................293
7.4.2
The Regrets ............................................................ 295
8 IMPLEMENTING CHANGE ...........................................296
8.1 Manalysis of Alfred ...................................................297
8.2 Findings .....................................................................297
8.3 Conclusions ............................................................... 298
8.4 Recommendations .....................................................298
8.4.1
Further recommendations ......................................301
8.5 Expectations............................................................... 303
Appendix .....................................................................................305
Appendix I: Personal Budget Sheet ......................................305
Appendix II-Guidelines for MHSF-III .................................308
Appendix III- List of Vices ....................................................310
Notes ............................................................................................ 319
Bibliography ...............................................................................320
Glossary ...................................................................................... 326
Content Index .............................................................................327