The George Bailey Technique: Mentally Erase Your Blessings for Greater Joy and

Optimism
by BRETT & !TE M"!Y on DECEMBER 3, 2012 #$ "OMME%T&
in ! M!%'& ()*E+ ,ER&O%!( -E.E(O,ME%T
(ately+ )/0e 1een loo2ing at 3ays to 1e less cynical4 %ot that there/s anything 3rong
3ith a 1it of healthy cynicism+ ) 5ust ha0e a tendency to go o0er1oard 3ith it so that it
de0ol0es into 1itterness+ pessimism+ and passi0ity4 )/m sort of morose 1y nature+ so )/m
constantly 1attling my inner Oscar the Grouch6Eeyore4
One thing )/0e read that/s supposed to help you o0ercome cynicism is starting a
gratitude 5ournal4 You/0e pro1a1ly heard of these things7 some of you may ha0e tried it
yourself4 There/s not much to it4 E0ery day you 3rite do3n the things you/re grateful for4
By counting your 1lessings li2e this each day+ you/re supposed to feel happier and
more optimistic a1out life4
&o they say4
)/0e done gratitude 5ournals a fe3 times throughout my life and )/0e ne0er really gotten
much out of the e8ercise4 9hich is really frustrating 1ecause ) don/t understand 3hy4 )
can flip through pages and pages of stuff that )/m than2ful for and ) thin2+ :Man+ )/0e got
so much going for me4 The 3orld is great; 9hy don/t ) feel any happier or less cynical
a1out life<= On top of that+ ) 2no3 se0eral fol2s 3ho report that 3riting in
a gratitude 5ournal really helped them+ so that made my failure at 1ecoming happier
through counting my 1lessings sting e0en more4 ) started to thin2 that my e8treme
cynicism can2ered my soul so much that ) 3ould ne0er 1e a1le to feel happy or
idealistic again4 This of course resulted in my feeling more cynical+ pessimistic+ and
1itter>
-amnit4
The Extraordinary Becomes Commonplace
! fe3 months ago ) 3as reading a 1oo2 called Redirect: The Surprising e! Science
o" #sycho$ogic%$ Ch%nge 1y -r4 Timothy -4 9ilson4 ?)t/s a really good 1oo2 @ ) highly
recommend it4A One little 0ignette in particular really stood out to me 1ecause it
addressed my old nemesis: the gratitude 5ournal4
,sychologists ha0e actually researched the effecti0eness of gratitude 5ournals and the
results are mi8ed4 *or some people+ they li0e up to the hype4 9riting do3n 3hat they/re
than2ful for does indeed ma2e them happier4 But psychologists also found that for
many people ?li2e myselfA+ gratitude 5ournals ha0e no effect on their happiness4
Researchers 1lame the ineffecti0eness of gratitude 5ournals on the :pleasure parado84=
&tudies sho3 3e actually e8perience more and prolonged 5oy from an e0ent 3hen
there/s a 1it of uncertainty and mystery associated 3ith it4 )t/s 3hy randomly finding a
measly BC in a street gutter can ma2e your 3ee2+ 1ut getting a long e8pected BD+EEE
raise might 5ust cause a shoulder shrug4 Because 3e/0e had a couple of months to
thin2 a1out and understand getting the raise+ 3e/0e gro3n accustomed to the idea and
so 3e don/t get much of a rise out of it4 :The e8traordinary 1ecomes commonplace+= as
author )an McE3an put it in his no0el Enduring &o'e4 !nd therein lies the parado8+
according to -r4 9ilson: :,eople 3ant to understand the good things in life so that they
can e8perience them again+ 1ut 1y so doing they reduce the pleasure they get from
these e0ents4=
!ccording to -r4 9ilson+ this pleasure parado8 sa1otages the effecti0eness
of gratitude 5ournals for some fol2s 1ecause :people typically spend a lot of time
thin2ing a1out the good things that ha0e happened to them+ and thus 1y the time they
sit do3n to 3rite a1out these e0ents they ha0e already achie0ed an understanding of
them and ro11ed them of some of their mystery4=
&o my ina1ility to feel happier from my gratitude 5ournal?sA isn/t 1ecause )/m a heartless
&crooge4 ) ha0e 1ecome so adapted to ha0ing the things )/m grateful for that they no
longer hold any uncertainty in my psyche+ and according to research+ uncertainty is the
0ery thing that ma2es e0ents and 1lessings in our li0es more 5oyful and pleasura1le4
O2ay4 %o3 ) understand 3hy gratitude 5ournals don/t 3or2+ 1ut is there anything ) can
do to feel more grateful for the things in my life+ and as a consequence+ a 1it less
cynical<
Than2fully+ yes4 There/s a simple tric2 to get around the pleasure parado8 so you
can feel happier and less discouraged a1out life+ and more grateful for the people and
things you ha0e4 ,sychologists call it :The George Bailey Technique4=
A World Without George Bailey
:You/0e 1een gi0en a great gift+ George: ! chance to see 3hat the 3orld 3ould 1e li2e
3ithout you4= F "larence Od1ody+ !ngel &econd "lass
Yeah+ th%t George Bailey from the classic "hristmas mo0ie (t)s % *onder"u$ &i"e4
George Bailey+ if you recall+ is a saltGofGtheGearth 2ind of guy 3ho constantly has his
dreams th3arted 1ecause he/s al3ays loo2ing out for his friends and family4 E0er since
George 3as 2nee high to a grasshopper+ he 3anted to tra0el to e8otic locales and 1uild
1ig things li2e s2yscrapers and airstrips4 Just 3hen it seems he/s a1out to get started
on ma2ing his dreams come true+ some crisis happens that causes him to put them on
the 1ac2 1urner so he can ta2e care of other people4
Things come to a head one "hristmas E0e 3hen George/s a1sentGminded uncle
misplaces BH+EEE of the Building and (oan/s cash funds4 (osing the money 3ould
mean 1an2ruptcy for the Bailey Building and (oan and criminal charges for George4 !t
the end of his rope+ George decides to commit suicide so his family can cash his
BDC+EEE life insurance policy and pay off the BH+EEE de1t4
Just 1efore George leaps from a 1ridge to his icy+ 3atery death+ his guardian angel+
"larence Od1ody+ 5umps into the ri0er and pretends he/s dro3ning4 George+ 1eing the
1igGhearted guy that he is+ sa0es "larence4 9hile they/re drying off+ "larence tries to
tal2 George out of 2illing himself4 9hen George 1itterly 3ishes that he/d ne0er 1een
1orn+ "larence sees a 3ay to con0ince him not to commit suicide4 Through angelic
po3ers+ "larence is a1le to sho3 him 3hat his family and Bedford *alls 3ould ha0e
1een li2e if George Bailey had ne0er e8isted4
)t/s a hell hole4
George/s younger 1rother dies 1ecause George 3asn/t there to sa0e him+ quaint
Bedford *alls turns into sleaIy ,otters0ille+ his mother is a 1itter 3ido3+ and people are
li0ing in slum apartments instead of the nice homes George/s Building and (oan
funded4 9orst of all+ George/s 3ife is an old maid and none of their 1eautiful 2ids e8ist4
!s you can guess+ George sees the light and 1egs to li0e again4 Jis 3ish granted+ he
runs 5oyously through the streets yelling :Merry "hristmas;= to e0ery1ody4 Je arri0es
home to find the authorities 3ith a 3arrant in hand for his arrest+ 1ut George doesn/t
care4 Je/s 5ust happy to hold and 2iss his 2ids4 Jis 3ife comes in shortly after+ follo3ed
1y 3hat seems li2e the entire to3n4 The to3nsfol2 all donate enough money to sa0e
George and the Building and (oan+ George/s old childhood friend &am 9ain3right ?hee
ha3;A lends George BKC+EEE+ and George/s 3ar hero 1rother arri0es to declare George
:the richest man in Bedford *alls4=
!mong the giant pile of cash+ George finds a copy of To+ S%!yer that "larence
carried around 3ith this inscription: =-ear George: Remem1er no man is a failure 3ho
has friends4 ,4&4 Than2s for the 3ings; (o0e+ "larence4=
)t/s at this moment that George realiIes 3hat a 3onderful life he really has4 By seeing
3hat the 3orld 3ould 1e li2e 3ithout him+ he comes to a greater understanding
and appreciation for the true richness of his 1lessings4
The George Bailey Technique in the Real World
)n (t)s % *onder"u$ &i"e+ George Bailey e8periences 3hat the ancient Gree2s
called %n%gnorisis: the sudden realiIation of truth @ of 3here things really stand and
one/s true relationship to others4 ! fe3 curious psychologists 3ondered if real people
could e8perience the same 2ind of anagnorisis that George Bailey did 3hen he sa3 a
3orld in 3hich he didn/t e8ist4 &o they did some e8periments4
)n one e8periment+ researchers formed t3o randomly selected groups of people4 They
as2ed one group to 3rite a narrati0e on ho3 they met their significant other7 they as2ed
the other group to :George Bailey= their significant other out of their li0es 1y 3riting a
narrati0e on 3ays in 3hich they might not ha0e ended up 3ith them4
The result<
The fol2s 3ho 3ere gi0en the George Bailey condition @ 3riting a1out the 3ays they
might notha0e ended up 3ith their romantic partner @ reported +ore happiness 3ith
their relationship than the fol2s 3ho simply 3rote a1out ho3 they met their partner4
!ccording to -r4 9ilson+ the pleasure parado8 e8plains the different results4 The
people 3ho 3rote a1out ho3 they met their significant other =had undou1tedly told that
story countless times+ and telling it again had little impact4= But for the fol2s 3ho had to
imagine their 3i0es and hus1ands out of their li0es+ the e8ercise :made Ltheir
relationshipM seem surprising and special again+ and may1e a little mysterious @ the
0ery conditions that prolong the pleasure 3e get from the good things in life4=
Jeartened 1y this study+ ) ga0e the George Bailey technique a try 1y thin2ing a1out the
3ays in 3hich ) might ha0e ne0er met ate and 3hat life 3ould 1e li2e if ) didn/t ha0e
her in my life4 You can really get lost do3n the ra11it hole imagining the 0arious
possi1ilities+ 1ut en0isioning my life 3ithout ate ma2es me all the more grateful for
her4 ) tried the George Bailey technique on other stuff in my life and )/ll 1e darned if it
didn/t ma2e me feel great a1out li0ing and a 3hole lot less cynical4
The George Bailey Technique in Your Life
)f you/re li2e me and 3ant to reduce some of the cynicism and pessimism in your life+ )
challenge you to gi0e the George Bailey Technique a try4 9hat do you ha0e to lose
e8cept for may1e KE minutes< ,ic2 one person+ place+ or e0ent in your life that 1rings
you happiness and satisfaction+ and 3rite do3n in your 5ournal the 0arious 3ays it
might not ha0e happened4 Then imagine your life 3ithout that person6place6e0ent and
3rite that do3n+ too4
!s you do this e8ercise regularly+ you/ll 1egin to feel more grateful for the 1lessings in
your life and more hopeful and optimistic a1out life in general4 !t least it has for me4
Jere/s to a merrier and less cynical "hristmas+ gentlemen4