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Professor: Truong Thi Kim Chuyen

Class ID: BABA12IU51


Topic: Cohabitation












Group members
1- V Yn Nhi- BABAIU12157
2- on Nht Trng- BABAIU12133
3- L Quc Thng- BABAIU12153
4- Nguyn Phm Ph Vinh- BABAIU12109
5- Hong Quznh Nh- BABAIU12137
6- Dng Th Hoi Thng- BABAIU12185
















Role players:
1- Reporter of FAMILY AND SOCIETY Newspaper: white hat
2- Representative of Vietnam Student Association: red hat
3- Representative of Vietnam overseas students: yellow hat
4- Representative of Vietnam Women's Union: black hat
5- Psychologist: green hat
6- Sociologist: blue hat









The number of couples who cohabitate before marriage has rapidly increased in
the Western world, and the practice is becoming common in Viet Nam.
In fact, cohabitation is even seen as a normal step in the dating process among
some young people throughout the nation, particularly in big cities.
Opinions on the subject are mixed in Viet Nam. A meeting on the cohabitation
issue was held. The following is the minutes of the meeting.
Sociologist: Good afternoon and welcome everybody to the meeting. As we all
know, nowadays, more and more people, especially the young, suppose that
there is nothing wrong with cohabitation meanwhile becoming men and wife still
takes a key role in Vietnam society which, in morals, does not support sexual
relationships before marriage. The question is whether cohabitation is the
ominous sign of morals and society. So today, I plan to set a point of view about
Cohabitation in Vietnamese people and figure out if cohabitation goes along with
a decline in morals. Ok, lets take a look at the overview information first.
Mr. Thang- reporter of Family and Society newspaper, please provide us your
information.
Reporter of FAMILY AND SOCIETY Newspaper: Cohabitation is an arrangement
where two people who do not married live together in an intimate relationship,
particularly an emotionally and/or sexually intimate one, on a long-term or
permanent basis. Cohabitation has 3 kinds. They are cohabitation because of
emotional needs, cohabitation because of social trends and cohabitation because
of economic benefits.
There are 3 main causes:
First reason is social causes. The influences of the western culture entering
Vietnam, lack of knowledge society and future direction of the major of youth
today.
The second is family causes. The family life is unhappy, parents quarrel frequently
or adultery. That make their children do not want to get married, otherwise we
will see marriage as an opportunity to bound each other.
The last is individual causes: immature thoughts of youths, misconceptions about
love. They live together because of curiosity, saving or imitate their friends.
Next, I will talk about the statistic of the risks of cohabitation. Cohabiting couples
have infidelity rate 4 times higher than married couples. A recent survey showed
that the rate of childless couples in the country has gone up by 8 per cent.
According to recent survey in Viet Nam, 100% cohabiting students have sexual
relations, 48% have safe sex, 43% abort when getting pregnant and just 36% get
married. The relationship ending is over 90%
Even with the use of safe sex measures the ability of disease transmission risk
through sexual, reproductive tract infections, unwanted pregnancies still exist.
For example, each time you use a condom, the rate of infection or the risk of
pregnancy is around 5% (the rate of condom is torn from 0.4% to 2.3%, the rate of
slip is 0,6% and 1.3%).
A statistical survey posed a question in your opinion, whether cohabiting or
not? in result, there are 13611 people surveyed, 56.3% said yes, 36.3% said
no, and 7.4% had no idea.
Another survey in 5 universities in Ho Chi Minh City and 3 universities in Hanoi in
2007 showed that only 30% of students resolutely opposed sex before marriage,
the rest said that its normal or do not oppose.
That suggest the concept of youth is very open about cohabitation.
According to the Family Planning Association of Vietnam, abortion rate in Vietnam
is leading the Southeast Asian region and number 5 in the world. Specially
adolescent, youth accounted for 22% of abortions and tends to increase. Statistics
of the Central Obstetrics Hospital showed that more than 5,000 abortions each
year to 30% of pregnant women under 24 years of age.
Sociologist: Thank you very much. We want to know about the opinion of
Representative of Vietnam Student Association.
Representative of Vietnam Student Association: I really dont like cohabitation. I
think cohabitation related to sex; and I feel sex is quite ok. Sex is really an
important part of life, no sex people cannot exist. But some people think that
marriage is like we buy clothes because we have to try before we decide what we
should do next. Its a problem which some people have.
Before cohabitation, they feel curious about the life when they live with their
boyfriend or girlfriend, especially, students to have more time together and save
a lot of living expenses. Others just want to imitate their friends. After
cohabitation, the problem of daily life make each other feel sick, especially the
pair of students who must worry about leaning, living expenses, so it makes them
feel the deadlock. Cohabitation makes both of them know each other too much,
which is boring. Some people think it s just cohabitation so they have lack of the
sense of responsibility with themselves, their lover and family. More and more
their love fades away. Their relatives who care about them will worry. Theyll
have discord with their family. Unfortunately, girls are pregnant before the ending
of cohabitation. Itll make them feel worried, fear so they must have an
abortion. Therefore, they never have happiness like legal marriage.
Sociologist: We all hear your idea. Anyone else want to say?
Representative of Vietnam Women's Union: I agree with Representative of
Vietnam Student Association. Everybody and every generation have different
points of view about cohabitation issue. We will not be too worried about these
couple have a happy ending but most cohabiting relationships are fragile.
However, if we have global views of habitation of young people nowadays, we
can totally claim that people should not cohabit before their lawful marriage. It
means that Do not try it even one time.
People get escapade when they decide to cohabit before marriage. Their love
may be not only callous, but it is also easier for them to break up with their lover..
As you know love is an emotional mystery and difficult to define so it makes your
partner have to find, wait for, miss, be angrySo, what would they do when they
already knew many things about their partner? At that time, their love begins to
subside and its just a responsibility so when they fell nothing is link between
them. Of course they will go far away each others.
In addition, cohabitation also makes influence on the result of studying and their
job or leads them to social evils. I will show some things when you decided to
cohabit such as: you have to spend more time to talk, cook meal, walk aroundSo
how much time do you spend on studying? Two people who love each other will
spend 3-4 hours for their partner. However, when they live together, I am sure
they will spend all time for their partner. Not only affecting on their studying, but
cohabitation also affects on their job, money, When living together, there are
more and more the expenses have to be paid and its a reason which may ruin
their relationship.
When cohabiting relationships finish they will be difficult to find another partner
because no one want to have a partner who used to live together with someone
in long times. As girls who are much influence by cohabitation than boys. Because
virginity is only one, so when they live together I surely claim that sex is one of the
major factors contributing to cohabit. Unfortunately, if a girl gets pregnant from
cohabitation when they brook up, then who will be the most affected? Cohabitant
is not protected by the law. Relationship, emotion, finance, and some others are
not based on the law; therefore, it is easy for a couple to break up. In case of
conflict, especially about property, it cannot be solved by the law. If they have
offspring, their children must suffer a huge loss when they break up.
Today, Vietnamese people still think cohabitation is contrary the morals, is to
break the good qualities of women.
Representative of Vietnam overseas students: My opinion is the opposite. I think
that cohabitation has many benefits. Marriage is important so we need to
understand each other before get married in the future .In that way, we have
more benefits:
1. Living together will lower the cost of food, rent and bills because two people
are splitting the cost of living. In some cases, one person takes care of all the bills.
In those cases, it is usually the woman who gets the benefit of free room and
board costs.
2. Having someone there for emotional support, sexual relations and for
conversation without being committed in a marriage is considered an advantage
for most couples.
3. Living together before marriage allows the couple to test their appropriate. For
some people, they want to feel that they can get along with someone while living
together before they plan for their wedding.
4. By living together, you will see how loyal your partner is to you. This will help
you build trust together that cannot be shaken if you agree to get married in the
future.
5. By living together, you can prepare for marriage ahead by learning someones
habits, attitudes and manners
6. Have more time to seeing each other .After a day with hard work, you can
talking and have more fun with her/him to reduce stress
7. You get to see your partners day-to-day activities and habits.
8. Cohabitation has and is becoming more a way of life now than ever before. It
removes the worries of marriage breakups and even divorce us do part at a later
stage. The divorce rate reduction leads to solve social problems such as limiting
social evils and helping social development more sustainable.
Sociologist: Through everyone's comments, we can assert that the nature of
cohabitation is not bad but in the minds of many people, they think cohabitation
only to satisfy their own needs. So we should find out the solutions to solve this
problem, to promote the benefits and reduce the harm. Mr. Vinh- psychologist,
do you have any ideas?
Psychologist: In general, the cohabitation situation in young people is really
normal, and it also seems like the temptation that no one can avoid.
And if you talk about love with the youth, they almost answer that love is not
really followed by marriage. It is just only one of many sides of love, so that they
can have a perfect love without marriage. Moreover, youth also found that there
are many problems go along with this, such as: argument, fighting, So, they
wonder that if we torment each other like this, is marriage necessary? And then
after all, they experience themselves by taking cohabitation as a commutative
plan.
These allegations sound negative with adult. But it has become a trend, the way
of living and the view of people in this time. To repair these mistakes, it requires
parents, ethicists and educators consider the factors that make these living ways
and thinking:
- Teaching children carefully.
- Showing to the children the happiness of a real family which is harmony
between parents and their kids.
- Orientating the knowledge about love, emotion and sex.
Specifically, we can do these things by:
- Organizing seminars about current situation in the society such as:
cohabitation, love, for parents and their children.
- Cooperating with religious organizations to make the seminar at many
levels.
- Opening the classes for marriage to talk about:
+ Basic knowledge about human psychology, the differences between men
and women psychology.
+The methods to solve the problems between people.
+ Ethics in marriage.
Sociologist: Everybody, do you have any comments for the solutions that Mr.
Vinh has said?
Representative of Vietnam Student Association: I think these solutions are quite
ok. These help parents and their children understanding each other. Parents will
have positive thoughts about cohabitation, so they can give their children some
advice wisely. Parents can help their children aware what the love is, teach their
children knowledge of sex that they dont need shy away from. Children dont
need try to hide their feelings with their parents and worry about everything that
happens such as learning, cost of living or pregnancy before marriage.On the
other hand they can share their feelings, talk about their wishes with their
parents and think through carefully about cohabitation .That makes them feel
responsible for not only their lover but also their family and society. Moreover,
people would think more positive of cohabitation to each person really find
happiness for yourself without a binding or prejudice from society.
President of Vietnam Women's Union: Although everything has a solution, in this
case the ways to solve this problem are not effective. It just solves a small part of
cohabitation because these solutions are full theory. Lets see the limitations of
this way:
First, how do we teach children carefully? However, when they grow up and leave
far away their family, they will cohabit because of enticing words of friends and
curiosity about sex, No one can stop them, especially when they grew up, they
think they can do everything what they want.
Second, you mention that parents should showing to the children the happiness
of a real family which is harmony between parents and their kids. However, if
they think that they also can build up the real happiness with their current
partner because they can understand each other better before marriage.
Sometimes, everything should be followed naturally. Teenager is curiosity so if
they are not satisfied about something, they certainly try to understand.
Representative of Vietnam overseas students: I don't think so! This is a
complicated problem and we don't have a radical way to solve this problem. So
we should choose the highest effective way. And I think the solutions of green hat
are the best. If young people have the right perspective on cohabitation, they will
try to make a smart plan for their future, they will think carefully before making a
decision whether or not to cohabit so they will take responsibility for what they
did because we have sufficient required knowledge.
President of Vietnam Women's Union: However, changing the thinking of
parents is an extremely difficult job. Vietnamese attaches great importance to
virginity and they think cohabitation is considered contrary to the moral.
Vietnamese men who used to cohabit still want a wife who has not sex with
other.
Representative of Vietnam overseas students: Although there are still many
backward ideologies but some Vietnamese today have changed, they realize that
virginity cannot be used to evaluate a woman, they should understand her heart.
So changing thought is not difficult if we try our best. We need to set up a perfect
campaign to educate about cohabitation.
Sociologist: Thank you all for being here today and we do appreciate you precious
comments and ideas about cohabitation. As everyone noted, education is most
urgent that we need to perform. We need to change people's thinking about
cohabitation, direct them to have better look at cohabitation and virginity. To do
that we need to educate young people the right way to cohabit. We do not
encourage nor deny cohabitation. We only make it better, help it promote the
benefits and minimize the negative consequences. Cohabitation is not bad, but
we should cohabit wisely. If you accept to cohabit, you have to live with the
responsibility for your actions.














References:
1- http://luanvan.co/luan-van/thuc-trang-cua-viec-song-thu-trong-gioi-sinh-
vien-viet-nam-9592/
2- http://tgpsaigon.net/baiviet-tintuc/20110303/9158
3- http://www.studymode.com/essays/Six-Thinking-Hats-1107822.html
4- http://vietnamnews.vn/talk-around-town/241757/jury-still-out-on-pre-
marital-cohabitation.html
5- http://25.fpt.com.vn/tin-tuc/doi-song/2013/04/ban-chat-cua-song-thu-
khong-xau/
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xau.html