Dan Iska: The Place of Exploit

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ISBN 978-978-924-489-0
9 78978 924489-0
DAN ISKA!
THE PLACE OF EXPLOIT
DAN ISKA! The Place of Exploit
i
For further information
Dr. Chukwunyere S. D. Chukwu
+2348037233197,
+2348087833906
E-mail: authorchuks@outlook.com
chukwunyere2013@gmail.com
Seechuks@twitter.com
Davidchuks@facebook.com
Website: www.chukwunyere.com
ii
DAN ISKA!
DAN ISKA!The Place of Exploits
Copyright 2014
By Chukwunyere S.D.Chukwu
Published by:
NOBELDIV LIMITED
Block 39A Plot 2145, Amuwo Odofin Industrial Estate
by Apple Junction, Opp. RCCG
along Okota Road,Lagos, Nigeria,
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by
any means electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording or by
any information storage or retrieval system except by the copyright
holder's written permission. This excludes adaptation for
religious/educational purposes and brief excerpts/reviews in
Newspapers, Newsletters, Magazines and Journals.
ISBN: 978-978-922-489-0
his work is dedicated to the
Almighty God for inspiring me to go
into this work, His gift of T
perseverance in pursuit of my life career, His
guidance and protection during this work
and my entire life.
DEDICATION
iii
am indebted to the following people who
contributed in one way or the other to the
Iachievement of this great goal:
The encouragement and support of my beloved
maternal family the Ajaegbus in Agbakwu
Arochukwu my grand father late Climent Ajaegbu,
late Mrs Elizabeth Nwaokoro and late Grace Okoro.
Great thanks Bishop David O. Oyedepo, Late.Samson
Eyewunmi Obire (Ass. Compt. Customs Rtd) . Elder
Bitrus Kafas (ASCON) and family who have
contributed to the success of my former works. I also
thank D.C.N Sunday Anweh, (ASCON) for his
spiritual concern over me.

Wonderful thanks to O.C NAFDAC Stanley Atbor and
late Mr. Emeka Obi for your tremendous support may
God continue to bless you and your entire families.
And to my humble and wonderful mentor Dr. Gabriel
Osoba and Mr. Pius. I. Akhime of Lagos State
University. Great thanks to Elder Ron Chinyem
Onwubuya, Dr. Adeyemo and other English
Department Lecturers. (LASU).
I also give thanks to the Head of Academic, Professor
J.C Okeke and Professor Chukwuma Duru of Nigeria
College of Administration and my fellow exemplary
students in the above mentioned institutions. And to
you who have contributed in one way or the other, and
whose prayers and contributions are beyond human
comprehension. May God bless you
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
iv
DAN ISKA! The Place of Exploit DAN ISKA! The Place of Exploit
v
FOREWORD
AN ISKA! The place of Exploit - Like his
other plays especially ARU! Avenge the
avenger. OWANBEE! One Good Turn D
Deserves Another, and ESCAPE - presents a
panoranic view of contemporary society with a focus
on the authors homeland, Nigeria.
In this play, Chukwunyere S.D. Chukwu
characterises and dramatises the social malaise
threatening the very foundation of society.
The play pays particular attention to the
devastating impact of greed, infidelity, abuse of
power, the big man syndrome and various forms of
prostitution. The other issues highlighted in the play
include the behavioural traits generally associated
with military and paramilitary personnel.
More importantly, the play celebrates virtue
as portrayed through the character of Peter who come
into fame and fortune as a result of the great diligence
and integrity he displays in the discharge of his
official duties. Peter symbolises hope in a setting that
seems to be a n abyss of corruption.
Folu Agoi
1st Vice President, Nigeria Centre of PEN International;
past chairman, Association of Nigeria Authors (ANA)
Lagos Branch,(March 13, 2004-October 13, 2007)
vi
ulture and tradition are twin brothers infused
with contemporary issues of life. I use this
Cbook to solve the questions and answers of
the Civil Service. When, how, where and why home
front suffers a lot. It dramatically provides, answers
to certain issues that relate to us. Issues of
government policies, laws, social events as regards
families, children and communities, where tradition
and African culture are relegated to the acceptance
of western traditions and norms which are aliens to
us.
The title, is humorously, traditionally and
culturally infused to bring certain thoughts,
entertainment, language, and belief to non native
and natives of this country. Dan-Iska ! The place of
Exploit is sequentially and systematically written to
expose the causes and reasons for failure in
marriages, distrust among couples as a result of the
TRANSFER POLICY in Civil Service.
The poems are created to balance issues in
today's affairs, that relate to activities in various
institutions. Perhaps, our security men have become
prey to secular events. Just as Mr. Agbor said in the
story concerning the married couples, that only
women know the true owner of a child. While issues
of the past can bring happiness as well, good
character can transform ones life, despite the
challenges of life.
INTRODUCTION
vii
My advice is that no man has monopoly of
wisdom, love, hatred and wickedness. Ignorance
of the law is not an excuse like in the case of
WAZOBIA.
Subsequently, major traditional languages of this
country are used in the story with pigin dialect
to give certain phrases that thrill and captivate
our heart. However, the word DAN-ISKA is a
paradox tied to reasoning and essentially used by
an average provoked or angry Hausa person. We
also understand that Kolanut is a traditionally
edible fruit despite the nicotine in it. Therefore,
this work is a drama that cuts across all secular
issues of life. Some years back I was privileged
to see our security men in the airport, it was as if
they were never part of us because their mind set
have changed from the foreign challenges.
Table of Contents
ACT ONE: SCENE I..................1
SCENE II...............26
SCENE III..............50
ACT TWO: SCENE I.................55
SCENE II...............65
SCENE III..............78
SCENE IV...............85
ACT THREE: SCENE I.................100
SCENE II...............111
viii
ix
CAST:
Abrahim: The senior military Officer.
Akin: Soldier
Agbor: Senior Air force officer.
Emeka: an Immigration officer.
Iyabo: the waitress.
Prisca: prostitute.
Ngozi: prostitute.
Menga: helper.
Baro: helper.
Eno: prostitute.
Felix:the victim brother.
Peter: the accident victim.
Amadi: Good Samaritan.
Mahamid: officer.
Tunde: police officer.
Jenifer: prostitute.
Eno: lucky prostitute.
Theresa lucky prostitute.
Amina: angry prostitute.
Awori: officer.
Iyabo: restaurant owner.
Ero:the daughter of Efe.
Efe: madam cash, the mother of Ero.
Adaja: Felix wife.
Atapuka: Felix first born.
Glory: the only daughter.
Caja: receptionist.
Bingo: doctor.
Mama Odu: club member.
Mama Oja: club member.
Dada: club member.
Agnaga: club member.
Patche: club member.
Metra: club member.
x
We may lost get in the history of soba
When we fail to train our minds
Desiring to get to the top
Without walking with
wondered feet tata
Displaying courage and
wisdom tata
Our night we path no more
History would've been made soba
How, when and where would you
be found?
Tata na echi! Good night!
FROM THE STAGE
1
ACT: ONE SCNE: 1
(At the Murtala International airport)
banga: these are my youthful friends
who are serving in different Army
formation in various parts of Africa. G
They were asked to go back home after a
tremendous service to their fatherland In fact,
they were happy to have flown into Murtala
Airport safely.
(Akin: sighting the arrival of another plane he
asked, Abraham who led him for a walk to look
as well).
Abraham: Where are we going?
Akin: Let's stroll and steal a glance at the
tarmac. It is a beautiful place to be.
Abraham: Let's go, Im expecting the arrival
of some soldiers and police men.
Akin: You've started again, who gave
you this information?
Abraham: Is the O.C Operation.
Akin: That's right but sometimes you
made use of your senses.
Abraham: Do you know that O.C operation is
our school mates in the Army
2
Akin: So what? Does this country care
for anybody these days?
Abraham: Who told you that this country
does not care for her citizens, is it
not the few wicked ones among us
that destroy our collective interest.
It was when we were about to leave
that he gave me this information.
Akin: Why was it that we were kept in
arms length all this time?
Abraham: How do you mean? He said he
wouldn't have wanted us to neglect
him. And besides, Africans take
advantage of others to swindle
others.
Akin: Oh! That's the cause of poverty,
hunger and disease yet we pretend
as if nothing is happening in our
continent.
Abraham: Oh! Have you not heard? He said
knowing the circumstances that
brought us here. We should behave
and act as if we were never friends.
That he has done all he could to
protect us where necessary.
Akin: Protect us? That is one problem
with an average black man, once
his pocket is full such that he'll take
care of his immediate family other
becomes nothing to him.
Abraham: Shoo! I'll not support your last
observation. What of Nelson
Mandela, Nnamdi Azikwe, (Zik of
Africa) Chief Obafemi Awolowo
to mention a few who died for the
interest of their people depending
on how they are measured.
Akin: How?
Abraham: Oh! You've forgotten so soon? But
I hope you've not forgotten the
misunderstanding I had with Taba?
Akin: Oh! Yes, I vividly remember.
Abraham: I thought you'll deny me once
again, pretending not to have heard
me.
Akin: Is that why he asked O.C Strategy
to help me out?
Abraham: Sometimes goods are traded like
sellers. The World is full of
mystery
Akin: The thought of man is limited to
him as a guard as he walks,
3
4
Abraham: You sound . philosophical,
why all these k n o wl e d g e , y e t y o u
kept wasting them?
Akin: I may not, but please let's walk on
as we talk.
Abraham: Behold this Air Force uniform is
very beautiful.
Akin: It is quite nice but there's this
supreme tag on ours.
Abraham: That man looks like Agbor.
Akin: Which Agbor?
Abraham: Agbor! The big man, whom Mr.
Atta, said even juju men will
always reject him, if he is to be
given t o t hem free. That i f
mistakinlgy he is allowed to pour
libation to the gods of the land
they'll reject his service intoto.
Flowing like river that never stop except
otherwise. Knowing the hand that fetches
it and stops it as it boils rather cool.
At will the eyes pretend?
Man is like a secret unknown to man.
Who really he is but unknown to him in
his ways?
5
Akin: Oh! That's true, he looks like him.
Let's get close and call his name if
he responds that means we'll untie
his wit
Abraham: That's true,
Akin: Who'll bell the cat?
Abraham: You've started with this your sense
again, what is wrong i n cal l i ng
someone's name?
Akin: Shebi! You said you'll call his
name.
Abraham: Agbor! Oga Agbor! Shoo! There's
no response.
Akin: I'm laughing because he is not the
one we thought he is.
Abraham: Is a lie, look at his eyes and his cut
ears, which we use to make fun of
him.
Akin: That's true O! Call his pet name.
Abraham: Agbor, the big man! Agbor the big
man! I told you, has he not
responde. He is even trying to
know who is calling him.
Akin: Oh! He is the man.
6
They all held him, while other Air Force
officers kept starring at them. Agbor turning
saw Akin and said you bera! Oh! You're here
which command are you serving?
Akin: Look at your head you've become
big Oga O! you are really
chopping something O!
Abraham: Why not? I hope you've not
forgotten Mr. Atta.
(They all laugh and Agbor
screamed) oh! The rat killer is like
you are serving in the same
command.
Akin: What did you people bring back?
Bago: What are you trying to insinuate?
Abraham: Don't mind him yeye man
you're not afraid of his uniform,
you are asking after what he came
back with.
Agbor: Did you remember, the boy that
used to cry to school each time
breakfast was not given to him by
his parents.
Akin: Is it not Dove? O! I remember that
the boy crawls like tortoise and
spit like snail each time.
DAN ISKA! The Place of Exploit DAN ISKA! The Place of Exploit
7
Abraham: That licks his sneeze which Mrs.
Bingo always call mbaa
Agbor: Yes, that's him; he is here with us o!
Akin: Where is he?
Abraham: Is he far from here?
Akin: Even if he is or not, let's go jare!
Abraham: Very soon, they'll begin to dispatch
us with the military vehicle to our
various destinations.
Agbor: Let's go after all we're in our
fatherland.
Abraham: Let's go.
Agbor: Na wah for this world o! so, we can
come together like this,
Akin: Let's go jare!
Agbor: Go where?
Abraham: The lake is as long as it's broad
face view with eyes, we're back
home.
Akin: What happened?
Abraham: He is speaking like Agbor jor!
They began to walk as smiles
drops from their faces as water of
log Agbor, a senior Air Force
officer walking along with his
8
enough to express the desire for
past event in their lives. As long,
A g b o r k e p t p o i n t i n g
fingers on a certain object that
a t t r a c t e d t h e mo s t o f
Mohammeds attention but
u n v e i l n o t h i n g t o
the imagination of others.
Mohammed: Oga, I hope there's no problem?
Agbor: Do you know these men?
Mohammed: Dan iska(fool), Abraham, Kwee,
Akin; Yaya.
Akin: Look at how colourful your teeth
have all become.
Mohammed: You are kolanut mabaa
Agbor: That's part of him; I don't think
anybody can stop him from this
mess.
Mohammed: Oga, you say kolanut mee!
Abraham: Are you the only northerner that
knows how to chew kolanut?
Mohammed: Oga, do you remember Emeka?
Agbor: Which Emeka?
Mohammed: That Emeka, whom armed
robbers came to their home when
we were schooling at Army Day
10
(Turning back he was scared of the uniforms
and the kind of people confronting him)
He stole a glance at few meters away from
where he was and saw a man smiling at him.
Emeka: Are these not my school mates?
Abraham: Rolling stone knee! look at your
st omach, you' r e choppi ng
government money. Omo olosi-
(thief) d o I c a l l E . F. C. H
Economical Financial Crime of
Heaven to arrest you?
Emeka: Oh! Abk yaya de? Crazy head!
Agbor you're a big oga with all this
ranks on your shoulder.
Agbor: Aren't you a big oga too; instead of
you to remain in your office, you
want to catch everything that
crosses here with mini skit. I hope
these junior officers staring at me
will not kill me o! (female officers
standing)
Emeka: Oh! These are beautiful pepper
soup girls.
Akin: You and girls, you're not yet
married?
9
Akin: The tall one?
Mohammed: No, the short one.
Abraham: Oh! I remember his pet name:
Rolling stone, yes!
Agbor: Oh! The one that armed robbers
visited his house instead of his
father to shoot them down with
his gun, he was telling the armed
robbers, I have a gun o while
kneeling down, he was smiling
and acting like a bloody civilian. I
have a gun oh! I have a gun.
Mumu! Ewe (foolish goat).
Akin: That's true, where is he?
Mohammed: He is the one in charge of our
documents.
Akin: Is he an immigration officer?
Mohammed: Yes of course!
T h e y w e r e h a p p y a n d w a l k e d
Emeka's office.
Mohammed: Here he is.
Emeka: What's the problem?
Mohammed: We've come to arrest you, yeye
man, look at the shape of your
head. What's in your swollen
pocket? Is it not money; you're
criminally minded. (Laughing)
11
Abraham: All officers are all the same thing
jor! Aba, you need God.
Agbor: ( St ands up t o l ect ur e t he
c o l l e a q u e s i n c l u d i n g t h e
immigration officers) you must
be a person of integrity anywhere
you are. This reminds me of a story
I witnessed. I ceased k e e p i n g a
girlfriend anywhere I am posted
to. Where I was serving two years
ago, a married woman was
impregnated by her boyfriend.
The husband thought that the
child the woman was carrying was
hi s own not knowi ng he
belongs to someone else. Not until
recently, this woman became a born
again.
Ola was angry and decided to report the case to the
king of the community where we were all posted
to. Asking the king to call the village men and
women before 8:00 o'clock, which the king did.
And it happened as the O.C. of the community, I
was scheduled to visit there at that time. On my
arrival, I thought I was being waited for. Only to
begin to hear this woman pointing fingers to her
boyfriend as the father of her children, referring to
a man in the crowd.When the husband was posted
to another place as a civil servant.
12
Besides, the first son was about 30 years old,
when her mother made him to know his
biological father. She continued to mention
where and places she conceived her children and
what happened till she got to the last girl.
Which she said the girl was the only child she
conceived for her real husband who later
committed suicide that very day as a result of the
unbelievable attitude of his wife. However is
only the woman that knows the owner of the
child she is carrying.
The second boy could not be found till date.
The world is not a bed of roses; its takes two to
tangle if there's purpose and vision attache to
each other. Imagine a woman doing this kind of
thing to the man she said she loved. Whose fault
is it? When you're busy struggling for posting
why wont our wives won't have children out of
wedlock. In fact, there's nothing like training
children together. Out of three children he
trained two up to university level, none was his
child.
When this woman was asked why she kept quiet
all these time, she said her husband flirts a lot and
when she will need him, he is busy working for
13
government and doing other things in the name
of service to the fatherland. While others were
taking proper care of their families, though we
pretend a lot every good marriage is built with
trust but in my case where is the trust?
With this, I ceased from chasing women and do
you know that anywhere we are being posted to;
our wives are always having first hand
information about the places. Therefore Emeka,
you must see this as a piece of advice. And
besides, there's a lot of sexual diseases in
circulation like syphilis and worst of it all, Oria
obiri n aja-ocha/HIV (Aids)

Absolutely, there was silence and all of them
hissed in sympathy but Emeka broke the
silence:
Emeka: Oh! God forbid! Aru, Iyawo-
(Abomination, wife) It's not
s e n d i n g m o n e y t h a t
matters, it is taking proper care of
our children and wife.
Abraham: If money does not matter, what
else matters? Oga you know what
we can do.
14
Akin: Money does not say sorry or
generate happiness.
Agbor: What will you do if you were to be
that man? Worst, you shoot her
and kill your children yet you've
not done anything rather than
killing yourself foolishly.
Emeka: Oh! Women, I, Emeka have seen it
all but we can't do without them.
Woman na devil of man O!
Agbor: I like what you've just said, is it a
poem?
While they were laughing with Emeka in the
office other senior officers were scared. Emeka
arranged his document and handed it over to
his subordinate. While Agbor asked him to
Let humanity crash but not woman.
Can humanity be without woman?
Where then can peace be found is
there's no woman. Woman is the
pillar of the home, kudos to them
Let's tread the part of Integrity
15
take proper care of his document before
leaving the office which he obliged, before
taking them to a nearby beer parlour as some
other officers joined them.
Akin: Your father.
Abraham: Danbazah(useless) Emeka
Mohammed: Kee! Emeka, braw (thief)
Iyabo: Please what can I offer you
officers?
Agbor: Let me remove my cap first jor!
Akin: Agbor you are not supposed to eat
here o! Your rank is too much to be
here with us.
Agbor: With my friends omo-olosi,
(thief).
Mohammed: Oga no mind them.
Abraham: You keep on saying oga don't
mind them. Is he not your mate?
Please leave that word in the
office, when we leave you can
answer Oga Agbor one million
times.
Akin: Don't make him look inferior to
us.
Agbor: Its true, I've told them this several
16
Mohammed:Madam, please give Okoro a
bottle of paraga (local herb).
Emeka: That reminds me of seme border
these days; please give me small
stout, point and kill(fresh fish).
Agbor: What Emeka cares for is what I
need.
Akin: Please a bottle of gulder, is quite
long I've been waiting to sip just
one bottle though anything can
h a p p e n f o r n o w. Co me
Mohammed you and t hi s
paraga will not have a place
here.
Mohammed:Why? Every time you complain
about paraga or Ogororo what
for?
Akin: It's just an appetizer.
Mohammed: Ok, I saw Chidi at Seme border
last time.
Agbor: What was she doing there?
Mohammed: She is a custom officer.
Agbor: I heard that Tunde, Bello, Ngozi,
Ebere, Amina, and Ify are all
custom officers.
Abraham: Ify Shaga! Country band don
suffer, most women will ask their
husbands to change, stop working
or lose their marriage. Is she not
the one that said Akin wanted to
rape her at the bathroom those
days when we were still in school?
Emeka: Is it that you were not man enough
to do such thing? Or were you
having problem with ejaculation?
Akin: Trust me now! If it were to be
now, water would have found it's
level even if it were to be
accusation.
Mohammed: Onye iberibe! (foolish person).
Emeka: Please madam, give me herb
and goat meat.
Akin: The day I went to seme border, I
saw Ify being driven by a driver.
Agbor: I also know that she will make it in
life but she is greedy and
cri mi nal l y mi nded. Is she
married?
Emeka: Married keh! She is looking for a
husband and I pity the man that
will marry her. In fact, who'll
marry that kind of woman? She
drinks, talks a lot, fights and
disrespects her seniors; she
17
18
a woman that believes on
bottom power.
Upon her wealth, when it comes to
man and family she has failed
except something else happens
tomorrow but for now she is
nothing before most of us that
know her very well. When I met
her last, she was crying and telling
me that she had asked God to take
away the wealth and give her
husband. And that reminds me she
is always asking after you Agbor.
Eh! Agbor the Ify babe (laughs)
Agbor: Don't mind her, shabi I wanted to
marry her but she said am too poor
to ask for a wife. Then we were
poor but today I'm among the rich
men she is asking their hand in
marriage.
Akin: Let's give her to Mohammed since
he is asking for another wife and
his conscience and religion permit
marrying as many as possible.
19
Mohammed: Ill use kolanut and chop off your
head. Ify kee! She saw me at the
border some time ago, who could
guess what she told me?
Akin: Ugly man look at your face, you're
rejecting Ify now but those days
you asked us to beware that you'll
sting us like bee if any of us is
found with her.
Mohammed:Me ugly koo! A trained soldier,
a soldier of great repute.
Akin: Elejo-talkative! Are you a soldier
man or a kolanut advertiser?
Agbor: She talks too much and she is
proud.
Emeka: O boy! She entices men with her
buttock o! if it gets into her head
the way she rattles and swings her
backyard could cost any man to
commit.
Akin: Wooh! Bottom power na wah
o!
Abraham: She is quite beautiful, I've met
her once.
While Mohammed has gone for two bottles of
herb Agbor on one bottle of stout, always
getting thrilled with the past memories,
smiling, displaying his integrity and his worth
20
Agbor: Which boy?
Oh! Akin your eyes are becoming
faint O!
They all started laughing. They perceived that
Akin is getting drunk while his eyes continue
to dim.
Abraham: We are wasting time O!
Akin: Let's call Awori and ask him what's
happening.
Agbor: Do you've any cell phone with
you?
Akin: Yes.
Abraham: Oh, that's the best legacy Baba has
left for us. Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!!!
Mr. President.
Agbor: Where is mine?
I'm always with mine each time I
travel out of the shore of the
country; I switch off but once im
back, I switch it on again.
Agbor: Let me see, well it's nice. Onye
mpiripe(stingy person).
Abraham: I don't do what Akin does O! How
can I travel with my phone?
22
Abraham: You're beautiful.
Akin: Oh yes! I know you must talk.
Abraham; if something wey de i n s i d e
skirt no kill you, you no go
die; see your bald head, old
man.
Abraham: Don't mind him oh! Prisca.
Agbor: Please get me your most expensive
cell phone and a sim card right
away.
Prisca: Yes sir.
Emeka: Is like you came back with some
pounds and dollars.
Iyabo: Should I get more bottles of
drinks?
Emeka: Yes!
Prisca: Here are the cell phone and sim
card.
Agbor: These are Nokia phones, what's
their price?
Prisca: The lowest is thirty thousand while
the highest is Eighty Thousand
Naira.
Agbor: Oh! This has camera with other
interesting functions. How much is
this one?
Prisca: Seventy Thousand Naira.
Agbor: I want to buy a nice cell phone, will
you sell this one Im pointing at
21
Akin: I will, because it is good, you
know you are careless.
Agbor: Do you mean I can make call here
now?
Abraham: Yes of course!
Mohammed: It's been long Oga travelled
outside the country.
Agbor: It's quite long O!
At arm's length there's a business centre very
close to the beer parlour.
Agbor: Please I need a cell phone.
Emeka: Should I call one of the sales girls
there?
Agbor: Yes
Emeka: Iyabo please come! Eniti oni
Ipinle(somebody that plays too
much).
Iyabo: Oga I'm around oh!
Emeka: Please call me one of those sales
girls right away.
Iyabo: Ok o!
Prisca: Good afternoon Sir.
Araham: Oh! You're welcome, what's your
name?
Prisca: My name is Prisca.
23
Emeka: That's a nice price.
Prisca: I can't oh! Oga! What you offer has
not covered market price.
Agbor: I'm paying you cash oh!
Mohammed: Oga don't mind her, we'll go to
computer center.
Prisca: Oga, add Ten Thousand Naira.
Agbor: No!
Akin: Let me call our man at the other
wing.
Abraham: That's nice; please call because I'm
getting tired.
Akin: I've forgotten to call Awori please,
let me call him.
He dialed Awori's number while
they were starring at the cell phone
(Agbor wanted to buy).
Abraham: Yes, it's ringing but he has not
picked it.
Awori: Are you tired of this country?
Akin: They said that our contingents will
be leaving tomorrow.
Akin: Oh my God! Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is in God's hand. Every
disappointment is a blessing as
people always say
24
Awori: You sound very nice, its like you
are giving justice to some bottles
of beer, and it seems you're
also assassinating fresh fish.
Akin: Wah! Wah! Wah! Olohun da
O! God is good O! its not my
fault.
Awori: You're laughing.
Akin: Talk to Abraham.
Abraham: Awori, you're a conservative
poor man, please take proper care
of my luggage.
Awori: Yeye man Oshoo free, can you
use your money to buy beer?
Abraham: I would have allowed rebel to kill
you in that foreign land you dis
yeye man.
Awori: Beer don dey control you abi!
Abraham: Don't worry; I will get some more
bottles for you.
Akin: You people are wasting my credit
baa.
Awori: I'm waiting for the beer and I
hope that your mouth is not
running like tap for being drunk.
Abraham: Danbanzi!
Awori: Bye! Bye! Jare.
25
Give me my cell phone jare,
exclaimed Akin. Before he could
turn back and say jack Robinson.
Agbor has started giving out
cell phone to every one of them
as gift for journey mercy.
Putting his hand into his pocket
and brought out some dollars,
paid the girl the equivalent of the
money in Naira. their eyes became
as wild as fire desiring which cell
phone to pick
26
SCENE: 11
Akin: What manna. O my ga oh! Na wa
O! Emeka: Chineke o! My God o!
Mohammed:Allah Seriki! Oga, if you don't
want me to kill anyone here give
me my own cell phone first.
Abraham: Dan-Iska!
Akin: Were o! Oju kokoro! Mohammed,
so because of cell phone and some
bottles of beer you want to kill us.
Mohammed:How can I kill you people when
there are many unknown animals
to be killed here.
Akin: Please oh! We've come to enjoy
and have rest, but not to kill o!
Emeka: Let's enjoy and forget about
killing.
In the twinkling of an eye, they started hearing
a siren. This siren seems to be escorting a
senior military man. Mohammed peeped and
called on his Oga. Oga O! defence
Agbor: You mean it's Tunde?
Mohammed: Yes, Sir.
28
Tunde: I hope you are not angry, or would
you prefer to stay in foreign land
forever?
Agbor: No Oga.
Tunde: Accompany me to that wing; let
me see our men that are back.
Agbor: Yes Sir, but lets eat us first.
Tunde: There are lots of people there.
Agbor: That's where we were eating
before you arrived.
Tunde: If that's the case, let's eat first, Im
even more hungry than a lion.
They began to walk towards Iyabo's beer
parlour while siren went off. As they were
walking, a lot of military personnel were
hanging everywhere.
Tunde: Do you remember that captain we
visited at Badagry?
Agbor: Oh yes! I can't forget that trip in a
short while. I mean Seme border
and other things that followed it.
Tunde: And that custom man Mr. Bello
was quite wonderful.
27
Agbor: Let me meet him and bring him
here.
Akin: That's nice.
Emeka: He is a very senior officer.
Abraham: Is Agbor not a senior man? After
all we're all serving the country
together.
Akin: Na true jare!
Mohammed: After all na we dey do the work
Tunde stepping down from the car conveying
him sighted a well starched, Air Force
uniform man. With a massive dignified ranks
attached to his uniform. As he kept starring at
the person it occurred to him that this could be
Mr. Agbor, he exclaimed, yes! This is him, he
thought as much. He walked towards Mr.
Agbor, gave him a fellow officer compliment
while Mr. Agbor introduced him to his friends.
Tunde: You didn't tell me you will be
back.
Agbor: Was it not you that said we should
come back?
29
Agbor: Oh yes! He is a funny man but
a lot of men get lost in womens
thighs when they're transferred to
another place of service and later
bl a me d ot he r s f or t he i r
misfortune.
Tunde: Where is he serving now Sir?
Agbor: (At division 10, Enugu).
Tunde: I'm talking of the custom man not
the captain sir!
Agbor: Mr. Bello is serving in Kano
Airport; he is in fact bubbling with
life and agility. His story taught
me a great lesson, including his
experi ence concerni ng t he
activities that take place in that
area of this country. Especially
how married men are been lured
by young girls into sudden
marriage these days. While their
wi ves suddenl y t ur n i nt o
unmarried women because of
government policy on transfer.
Tunde: What of those girls that usually
sleep with these men, are they not
dangerous in the society as well?
30
While some will just claim
pregnancy in other to hold a man
to ransom, such that the man will
forget his immediate family all in
the name of government service.
Agbor: Hh yea, whose fault is it? Is it the
girls that are looking for money to
pay their school fees, can't feed
herself or have you seen one that
could do it? Who then is at fault?
I have l earnt t o bel i eve
that it is not these girls fault
Tunde: Oga body no be firewood oh!
Agbor: Do you mean it? Obiri n'aja ocha
dey! Others call it 777 perhaps is
HIV Aids.
Tunde: Yes of course!
Agbor: My wife knows everybody
around me and the kind of people
I move with, besides I am a senior
officer Aids is ravaging
everywhere like fire, if am caught
in the web of disease what will I
tell my wife and children.
Tunde: Oga na true O but sometimes
when you are posted to a new
31
can inform you on what transpired
in such a place and to avoid one
being bored, that's why we
actually get involved into all
this mess.
Agbor: I agree, we're supposed to get
involved into many mess but not
every mess worth it.
Tunde: I hope and thought as much but
Oga eno dey easy o!
Arriving at Iyabo's beer parlour,
bef or e he coul d wal k i n
everybody stood up, saluted him
and he exchanged pleasantry with
them. Being a boss he worth it in
this part of the world as he
immediately sat down, he
removed his cap and told Iyabo
the waitress to serve him with a
cool beer before they could
demand for food.
(At the beer parlour)
As he sipped from the glass, while taking a
glance a police man kept running and shouting
32
help! Help me o! With his riffle in his hand
carelessly held. He gave a sign to Tunde while
the rest peeped through the window and saw
crowd of mob with sticks and cutlass all over
pursuing this police man. Tunde ordered
disarming the policeman with his riffle and used
it to scare the mob. After which Agbor asked
Tunde to bring the policeman for questioning.
What a world even the secured is not secured
when it matters most, when river runs above its
banks, it becomes flood to the nearby
communities sighting Tunde with his brave
atitude the policeman fell on the ground and lost
consciousness. He was revivd while Tunde and
Mr. Agbor questioned him.
(Question)
Tunde: Please can I know your name?
Itaga Akpan: Itaga Akpan, Ayo, Musa, Okoro a
full fledge citizen of this country.
Agbor: You said Itaga Akpan, Ayo,
Musa, Okoro, what a name?
Tunde: from where?
33
Itaga Akpan:From this country but have no
particular state, town or local
government to claim due to
ci r cumst ances beyond my
control but I thank God Im the
only original citizen of this
country.
Tunde: A complete Wazobia above all
better than others by birth as they
began to laugh. (He asked him
what happened)
Itaga Akpan:I accidentally shot somebody
while I was trying to ask for arms.
Agbor: An innocent person?
Tunde: Why did you deliberately shot an
innocent person?
Itaga Akpan: It was not intentional.
Tunde: In the process of stopping a driver,
in order to ask for our toll gate. I
accidentally shot him on his head.
Tunde: He died.
Itaga Akpan: I'm not sure because my fellow
policemen left the scene while
they caught me, I insisted to revive
the man. Then, sympathizers came
so as to lynch me to death while I
34
shouting for help. At arm's length I
saw men and women carrying
sticks and cutlass shouting kill
him, kill him. Ole! Ole!! Ole!!!
Tunde: In fact, you are lucky so count your
blessing.
Agbor: What was the normal thing you
wanted to ask before the accident?
Itaga Akpan: Oga, that's what has kept this
country moving at least from the
back, there's never a time that
peace will be except that normal
thing.
Agbor: What was the normal thing you
were aski ng for t hat you
mistakenly shot an innocent man?
Officer: Please hand me over to the police
authority, it is Satan's work.
Tunde: There is no problem.
Agbor: Are you not Aka Akpan's brother
the policeman that first won gold
for this country, who never
resorted to the present evil act that
have befallen the present system.
Itaga Akpan: I'm, sir.
Agbor: Where is my orderly?
35
Tunde: Sir here I am, let's drop him in the
station and report the case.
Agbor: Ok, take him to the car but do not
let him hold the gun.
Tunde: Yes Sir.
They went back, sat down and
began to enjoy their delicacy
with beer, surrounding them are
beautiful girls drinking and
sipping beer with them in the
beer parlour while Akin was
looking like pond water.
Agbor: How do you do?
Jenifer: We're all fine and we heard you
men are back, and then we
decided to come and welcome
you people.
Emeka: Where's your passport?
Agbor: Please forget that now.
Mohammed: Oga no mind Emeka.
Tunde: What do you offer your paragon
of beauty?
Jenifer: Oga you know say na you we find
come jare! For me a bottle of
stout and pepper soup will do me,
let them tell you what they want
as well.
DAN ISKA!The Place of Exploits DAN ISKA! The Place of Exploit
36
Tunde: I'll be leaving you people now.
Agbor: No problem sir.
Emeka: Let's know you very well sir, onye
aruru-ala (wicked person)
Tunde: I hope Agbor has introduced me to
you people.
Emeka: I mean your complimentary card.
Tunde: Oh! Sorry, here it is.
Emeka: That's nice; I will give you a call.
Tunde: No problem.
Jenifer: Oga, you wan leave us go?
Tunde: What's the name of the other girl?
Jenifer: She's Emi.
Tunde: She should follow me Jenifer
called Emi out and began to speak
to her in their own dialect, leave
jor! Follow him, he is too nice but
get something there for me o!
Emi: Okay, she answered in Calabar
akm- I've heard.
Tunde: Take her to number (2)
Orderly: Yes sir
Jenifer: Call me, Calabar laya.
Emi: Keep my bottle of beer.
Jenifer: You are going to catch fun. Yet,
you want us to reserve some
bottles of beer for you.
38
Emeka: Oh! ( Eze ngwere- king of lizard)
Agbor: You've started again.
Emeka: He became Agama lizard the day
lizard ran into his trousers in the
class.
I could remember how he danced
that day.
Agbor: You don forget oh!
Mohammed: Shaky Emeka (otichayo/dangi ya-
drunk) that's true, his name is
Gbega.
Agbor: Yes, that's him. I met him once
and he is collecting the rent of his
father's house; in fact he is the
landlord now.
Abraham: That's true, he drinks a lot.
Akin: I'm tired o! Let's go.
Abraham: Oga Agbor has made your day by
giving you cellphone while
Emeka spoiled us a lot with
eatable. In fact today is a
memorable day in our lives.
Agbor: I'm happy meeting you all.
Emeka: I'm very happy too.
Agbor: God bless you all, I'm leaving.
37
Agbor walking with Jenifer exchanging
pleasantry and Tunde went into the car while
Agbor saluted him and waved him. They went
and the car sped off. Abor and his orderly
Mohammed walk ed down to the beer parlour.
Emeka: This uniform is very beautiful o! I
heard when you were talking
about Seme border. Have you
been to animal kingdom?
Agbor: Where is animal kingdom?
Emeka: Oh! You heard about seme
border not animal kingdom. Get
settled and you will like to go the
place again.
Mohammed: You want to deceive me Oga, you
shege, (Dan- ba)
Agbor: You're not ashamed of yourself,
you are demonstrating eye
service here. Why should you
always call Agbor Oga in our
presence?
Akin: Is part of him. There's this school
mates I once met in Lagos,
Very funny but a good friend
when it comes to bottle of stout,
we use to call him Agama lizard.
buru
39
Mohammed let's go. It will please
me if we all pay visit to Gbega one
of these days.
Emeka: I'll reach him first and inform the
rest of you.
Agbor: That's nice
Abraham: I hope you've collected our phone
numbers.
Akin: Please inform us o! Don't forget.
Agbor:
Jenifer and Sembi kept on drinking and eating
while Agbor and Mohammed stood up. Jenifer
repeated what she did to Tunde but Agbor
neglected and rejected the killer spin in her
eyes. An uneasy calm befell the environment as
if God is gone. Joy was not missing but it seems
there's no life. The colour that kept agility is
merely gone.
If dreams were wishes, can I ask you all
to remain in my heart? If there is but
unfortunately , let it hurt the unknown.
The joy in me is better and best of today.
I leave you people in peace. And let it
remain with us all. Goodbye, Goodbye.
40
Emeka: Uzo chee gi-safe journey.
Agbor: You're cool,good bye! Please
give me a call oh.
Emeka: Yes sir.
Mohammed: I'm leaving with Oga,God bless
you all
Jenifer: Oga bye! Bye oh!
Sembi: This oga is very handsome oh.
Felicia: He seems to love his wife too
much
Ngozi: I admire his uniform and rank
Amina: I know you'll also admire his
uniform and rank because you're
used to dine and eat even till
die. (the girls are taking safety)
Akin: Let's call Awori
Abraham: Call him.
Akin: He likes money too and he will
not call us
Emeka: What's happening? Is getting
dawn, I'm getting tired and these
girls are not ready to go.
Akin: Maa so fun mi pe- won ma je
gbogbo onje yi, won si ma
lo la san? You mean they've eaten,
all these and will go freely? No
free lunch in town o!
42
Akin cell phone rang and he picked it up.
Awori: Where are you people?
Akin: At the end part of the air port.
Abraham: What happened?
Akin: He is pulling my legs and he
wanted to know where we are
Abraham: Let him come jor
Emeka: Let him come, there is a lot to eat
and there are enough women too
Akin: That's true jare!
Emeka: Akin and Abraham filled up and
continuously looking at each
o t h e r . Ng o z i e x c l a i me d
Chimekaah, Ndi Omkala onyi:
ha na bie, God these people have
drunk themselves into foolish
men here).
Amina: What is it?
Ngozi: Can't you see how these toothless
dogs are starring at us.
Sembi: That's good, I'm tired oh! Because
they can be a as it looks now.
Felicia: Do you think they're ready to take
us along?
Sembi: Emi is very lucky to say.
Jenifer: Don't count your egg before
41
The men understood Yoruba,
Hausa and Igbo but the ladies
understood only their native
language and Efik but have gone
out with the oga Tunde.
Emeka: Replied Akin na ebbe kwanu for
now;
Abraham: You know I don't understand Igbo
very well, except Akin, stop
speaking Igbo here please, Akin
call Awori now.
Ngozi: Oga Emeka, kee ihe mere what
happened?
Emeka: Though caught in action, he
remember he did not let his mouth
flow like tap.
Akin: Kedu nki ichoro nime ha? which
do you want among them?
Emeka: Nke chara ocha, means the
light skin girl.
Akin: Omaka, she is beautiful
Abraham: You people have started again
'danbanza'
Akin: Wetin man go do na, body no be
firewood o!
Ngozi: Hearing them,she pretended not
to have heard them because she is
been admired. Oga wetin de
happen now?
44
eat i ng and dr i nki ng. And
remember how Emeka behaves
each time he arrest woman to be
domitila
Sembi: Wetin be domitila again?
Felicia: You be professional ashawoo
Amina: Don't mind her, she pretends a lot
Jenifer: Let's forget this act for today, and
these soldiers can't afford to let us
g o a n d r e me mb e r s i n c e
government don ban them from
coming back with foreign girls.
They respect, honour and regard us
these days.
Amina: It's true oh!
Ngozi: Was it not how Theresa married
that man that she is living with.
Sembi: Theresa is enjoying, well; I resign
my fate for this evil act.
Jenifer: Do you know that one day I am
going to get married to one of these
men?
Sembi: Just like that ewu-goat?
Ngozi: That man decides to marry Eni.
Jenifer: I s n o t p o s s i b l e , h o w
One's man meat is another
43
t hey' r e hat ched, I hi ghl y
believe that these men will highly
favoured us.
Ozi : Favour us as in what?
Sembi: Let's drug their drinks.
Felicia: Don't try that oh!
Jenifer: I've forgotten that Emeka knows
you very well.
Felicia: Even if we want to drug Iyabo's
bottles, will Iyabo allow us?
Amina: Have you forgotten that Iyabo
used to stay with us at New
heaven she can't afford it because
is permanently here.
Ngozi: Iyabo will not like to drug the new
content of bottles they might
demand.
Sembi: Let's drug the content of their
gl asses, pret endi ng t o be
romancing them at the same time.
Amina: Kia dan danza do you know
whether they are in the mood?
Sembi: Have forgotten how those
policemen wanted to kill us last
two months.
Ngozi: That's true oh, and these are
soldiers, who just return from
war, can't you see how they're
45
man's poison. Anything can
happen oh! Ashawo or no
ashawo.
Felicia: Can a Rat get married to an
Elephant?
Amina: You hardly talk, but tortoise is not
better than you.
They fell into laughter, while they were
laughing; there was a bang on the door. While
the ladies were laughing, Emeka, Abraham
and Akin responded at the intruder by all
echoing come oh.
Awori: You people kept me there.
Akin: You are a poor man
Abraham: Please Emeka meet our colleague,
Awori meet the most powerful
friend of us here. He is our school
mate and you can see he is an
immigration officer
Akin: Is a pleasure.
Emeka: You're welcome.
Awori: Look at your eyes; you're all filled
up with worries.
Akin: How can a living being be carried
46
in a construction truck like logs
of wood in fact, we don't have
respect for our citizens. Where
people will be peeping, bringing
their hands through the window of
theJulius Berger truck along
Ikorodu expressway.
Awori: You're indeed in that truck that
carries men to little faith.
Emeka: There's no fun as interesting as
this one oh!
Awori: omo-olusi! You want me to
remain in that truck of no
inscription.
Abraham: Go to Ikorodu express way and
see with your eyes how human
beings are caged like special
animals being flown to London or
America.
Jenifer: Oga, you dey very funny oh!
Sembi: No be small.
Awori: Please, can I know the inscription
Ngozi, don't mind our people, we
allow the Oyibo man to enslave us
in our own country.
47
Felicia: That's true; after all they can't do
such things in their country. I don't
know whether that is the
humanitarian services they are
granting us as well.
Emeka: I believe one of these days, a good
leader will take over the throne
and ask them to stop such
dehumanization.
Awori: Which inscription is on that truck?
Abraham: Why are you so inquisitive with
the inscription?
Awori: I want to help and remind Akin
of that inscription.
Jenifer: Is Julius something jor!
Akin: If you complete the sentence it is
your business They began to
laugh because they're highly
intoxicated except Awori who just
came in.
Akin: You said you're leaving when?
Awori: In next one hour
Abraham: What do we do with these girls?
Akin: I've spoken to the one I admired
and we've agreed to meet some
other day.
Abraham: When did you do that?
48
Akin: I am a trained strategist.
Abraham: Who could you've spoken to?
Akin: It's Ngozi.
Awori: Who is left over?
Emeka: There's nobody, but who will go
for that ugly looking devil left
behind.
Awori: That's the kind of girl I like
b e c a u s e t h e y ' r e a l wa y s
satisfactory when you make them
underst and t hey' re equal l y
beautiful than other girls.
Emeka: Teacher!
Awori: Na so naah!
Akin: Ole-ojukokoro/ akpiri ogologo
(greedy person).
Sooner than later, Awori cellphone rang. It was
the voice of Seun but the discussion was getting
loud that Awori demanded their silence.
Seun: Where're you people? {Guessing
around}
Awori: What's happening?
Seun: They've compiled our names and
50
SCENE: 111
hey stood up and communicated to
Emeka thanking him for paying their
Tbills. It was all fun because they were
dishing out pounds and dollars. The ladies
were moved when Akin called Ngozi and gave
her some dollars. They all went to their
individual toasters and demanded for theirs.
And their desire was all granted, and they came
back and sat in order to finish their left over.
Emeka: Where is Iyabo?
Iyabo: Here I am.
Emeka: How much is our money?
Jenifer: Oga you know people oh!
Iyabo: Let me check it.
Emeka: Is how much?
Iyabo: Is quite high.
Emeka: Though I'm intoxicated please
let's check it
Ngozi: This Oga no wetin der jare!
Emeka: Here is my calculator, you food
sellers always take somebody's
advantage when it seems like one
is drunk.
Iyabo: That's business na!
Emeka: The amount is quite less than what
you mentioned.
49
we're leaving in the next ten
minutes.
Awori: Ok we're coming.
Akin: What did he say?
Awori: Let's leave in time.
Abraham: I'm through with Jenifer
Emeka: Do not worry me for I know who
the cap fits.
Abraham: Let's go.
Akin: Remember our appointment with
Oga and do remember to call us as
well.
Emeka: That's ok!
Abraham: God will continue to bless you
Jenifer: We want to leave with you people
Emeka: For where.
Ngozi: Please keep a date oh!
Akin: Don't worry.
Awori: Let's go!
51
Iyabo: Sorry oh!
Emeka: No be only sorry.
Ngozi: Oga thank you oh!
Jenifer: Aren't you people happy
Amina: I'm very happy o, look at the kind
of money we all have without
sleeping with any man. He paid
Iyabo and requested the ladies to
enjoy themselves while he left
for his office.
Iyabo: Una spoil show for me.
Jenifer: How do you mean?
Iyabo: You people can't even ask me to
drug the content of their bottles.
Ngozi: We thought as much but felt you
might not agree.
Iyabo: I need money o! Shea no be
December we dey go do soon?
Amina: But Emeka was here with you.
Iyabo: We would've not drug the
content of Emeka's bottle.
Felicia: Is after o! how do you mean?
Supposing Emeka discovers
Iyabo: He can't, I did it to his friends
once.
Felicia: Eh! Ogbologbo! Ruwa-water
Amina: Na wah for you iyawo-wife.
52
Iyabo: We would've lured them to sleep
with us and I know they will
di fer t hei r movement t i l l
tomorrow.
Ngozi: Is that possible?
Iyabo: They like women, trust soldiers.
Jenifer: You've known them very well
please let me call Emi.
They fell into laughter and graciously said is
true oh!
Jenifer: How do you do?
Emi: Oh, this man is nice oh!
Jenifer: Nice, how?
Emi: He took me to a boutique and I
selected clothes till I was
satisfied.
Jenifer: Oh my God! Hope you got some
clothes for me?
Emi: Why not, but don't let them know.
Remember you're the one that
asked me to follow him.
Emi: Please don't tell them my where
about? I will call you later.
Ngozi: What did Emi say?
54
They all stood up and echoed it's not possible
jare, you just want us to stay here to continue
to attract customers for you yeye woman.
You've seen mugun, olodu! They stood up and
walked to the road close to Iyabo's beer parlour
and took okada-motorbike to their various
destinations while Iyabo kept watching.
(Directors voice behind the curtain)
The world is a market place!
Many who tried
They failed to learn against failure:
No part is tread without ones footsteps.
Success and failure are twin brothers
who never die.
53
Jeniner: That they kept walking from one
office to another
Amina: How do you mean?
Jenifer: That she's tired of the man.
Amina: That what her beauty has
caused her, shabe! She said
her beauty can sweep any man off
his feet
Felicia: She might be enjoying that place
more than us O!
Iyabo: Is it that girl that went out with
Oga Tunde?
Ngozi: Yes
Iyabo: That man is very rich and he
might keep that girl in a hotel
room for more than one week
without touching her while she
eats whatever that pleases her.
Jenifer: How do you mean, do you know
him?
Iyabo: Why not, he is the man that gave
one car to my neighbor.
56
Ero: Can't you listen?
Efe: O.k, continue gossiping.
Ero: You remember that her parents like
worshiping in white garment Church.
Efe: Yes of course!
Ero: It all happened that some times she
follows grandma to church, she will
escape to one nearby white garment
church that is close to grandpas piggery
farm, Then they were using her to kill my
grand parents as to encroach or take over
the land.
Efe: What! God forbid bad thing. Aro-
abomination.
Ero: Each time Femi comes home from the
church, they ask her to always add
fertilizer in their meal in order to kill my
grandparents.
Efe: Did she do it?
Ero: For a long time she has been doing it.
Efe: Oh my God! I don't have the money to use
and bury these people now. Why me
God!
55
ACT TWO: SCENE 1
he daughter of Mrs. Efe who traveled
to visit her grandparents arrived home
safely. Narrating what transpired when T
she got home, it was amazing.
Ero: Mummy! Do you remember Femi my
cousin?
Efe: Which Femi?
Ero: Your brother's daughter that is staying
with grandpa and grandma
Efe: Oh yes! I remember her, the little Femi I
used to call her my wife.
Ero: Do you know that she wanted to kill my
grandparents?
Efe: Shut up your mouth and if I may ask,
how do you mean?
Ero: She is not always happy
Efe: Are you a diviner or soothsayer?
Ero: She said she does not want to be
worshiping with us in the Catholic
Church. .
Efe: What has that got to do with killing my
parents?
58
Ero: My grandparents said I should tell you
that they don't need anybody again so
that they'll leave and enjoy the fruit of
their labour rather than being killed by
an innocent child, who has not known
what death is all about.
Efe: Who told you that they wanted to kill
my parents?
Ero: No, Femi confessed before I was asked
to send her home.
Efe: Oh! You mean she has gone home?
Ero: Oh yes! That's where I'm coming from.
Efe: Since my brother got married to that
woman, we've never had peace.
Ero: You're never in good term with her
Efe: She married my brother because of my
father's wealth, forgetting that culture
permits me as the only daughter to
inherit all the wealth of my father
because I do not have any sister, if I h a d
my brother will inherit it.
Ero: Mum, do you mean it.
Efe: Yes, culture differs, but ours have
favoured us that much that we cannot
cry like others. You are welcome nwa
oma it is only a fool that does not know
DAN ISKA!The Place of Exploits DAN ISKA! The Place of Exploit
57
Ero: Forget that, God has solved the problem.
Femi is a very little girl, Grandma said
each time she has finished cooking, if
somebody comes to buy something from
her shop she notices that before she
comes back to check the pot, it will be
boiling even when it is not hot.
Efe: What happened?
Ero: The day I arrived, I caught Femi adding
fertilizer to mama's pot of food. As I
began to ask her what she was doing she
began to cry, I suspected a foul play and
immediately I began to beat her. As she
began to confess how she had been asked
to participate in killing my grandparents;
hearing this, grandma fell on the floor.
And sustained minor injury but for now
she is healed.
Efe: Why did you not force her to eat it?
Ero: Do you want me to kill my cousin
(Egha-abomination) She has been
eating it and yet God keep her alive.
Efe: What is amiss with people? People are
really wicked, how can someone use such
a child to achieve a wicked purpose.
60
Efe: I'm here, you're welcome. Ero get cool
water first.
Peter: Did I ask for cool water?
Efe: That is how we're brought up and it
signifies peace and love.
Peter: That's nice, though I don't need water.
Am not in hurry to deny this wonderful
offer that entails peace.

(Ero, smiling and saying why not present the
glass of water, as Peter was looking for where
to sit)
Ero: Sir, here is the water.
Peter: You are quite good, a kind mother indeed!
Ero: Thanks for appreciating my mother.
Efe: Can I hear from you?
Peter: Here is a letter from the chairman
requesting every one of us to come to
the Pinto hotel for chop! Chop!
Efe: Who is convening the meeting?
Peter: A brave farmer with cutlass does not ask
how to kill a rabbit, just read the content
of the letter.
Efe: Oh! Agbor the captain that left us many
years ago is back.
Peter: The man has become so rich that he
glitters like gold.
59
the value of parents. Since my
brother got married to her, we've never
had peace.
Ero: But that does not mean that there are not
good people among them in that church.
Efe: Let me not hear it again from your mouth.
Ero: Do you know whether my fianc is from
that church?
Efe: Yeparipa! Let me never hear that from
your mouth again, church keh! (Onye
oshi bu Eze uka-criminal is the head of a
church)
Ero: But joke apart, I don't really know where
he worships but if I should bring him to
you. What will you do?
Efe: I said you should not try it again adaoma-
beautiful girl.
Ero: Iron lady, thank God I've not accepted
him but the boy is very handsome
Efe: Please do not, so that we'll not be called
fools. Shebe! You know that I gave birth
to you without knowing your father. All I
know then was that I've a good taste
thats why you are quite beautiful.
Ero: Don't worry, I will make you proud.
Efe: God bless you my gold, tomorrow I'll be
taking you out.
Ero: To where?
62
Efe: I remember when I met him last; he gave
vivid account of Wayas. Whose conduct
became public disgrace for shooting an
okada man in the mouth for being
privilege to be an officer.
Peter: Yes, that's true o! Always encourages
people to be patient, responsible and
accountable when they're in place of
position and honour. Because his
maxim in life is that what goes around
comes around
Efe: In fact, I'll be there. He is quite nice to
ignore, that reminds me when is the
date?
Peter: Next Sunday and the time is 12pm since
you are with the letter but wanted me to
tell you what is written there. or is your
own time quite different?
Ero: Oh! Mum is even better; I'll be in
Pinto hotel with you on that day.
Efe: That's nice, should we postpone
tomorrow's engagement.
Peter: I'm going
Efe: Bye!
Ero: Mum, is it true that an officer shot an
okada man in the mouth deliberately?
61
Efe: Just don't worry, we will see him at Pinto
hotel.
Ero: Whao, I like that but why not now!
Efe: You've grown up enough to know that
there's time for everything.
Ero: Mum, you're my mum everywhere I've
privileges of going to with my friends, I
never did because of your words. That I
should be careful and know the kind of
people I mingle with.
As they are discussing, someone knocked at the
door. Ero ran to attend to the person.
Ero: Who is it?
Peter: It's me Peter, the only son of the most
exalted
Ero: Mum, is your club member Mr. Peter.
Efe: How do you know?
Ero: He said he is the only son of the most
exalted.
Efe: Open the door for him.
Peter: Daughter of the most exalted, I bring
you peace. How do you do?
Ero: Good morning Sir!
Peter: God bless you, our joy cannot go blink
when we look at your mother. The
daughter of peace, we feel great and
happy.
64
Ero: Mum, who is the man on that picture? Is
it my dad my uncle or was he your
former boyfriend.
Efe: Well, he is the man we're going to
celebrate his peaceful arrival in this great
country in Pinto hotel for surviving all
tribulation in foreign land and ot her
assignments that have killed so many
people.
Ero: But mum, who is he to you?
Efe: Once a nice and respectable man in my
life, I took him for granted thinking he'll
never amount to anything. He is
supposed to be your step father.
Ero: Step father? How, and your old lover?
Why?
Efe: O! You've grown up indeed.
Ero: Mum, I always respect you but I am
disappointed.
All of a sudden they heard people shouting.
Their screaming and shouting continued, it's
thunderous enough to wake up the dead.
Somebody was lying critically down, turning
and breathing profusely and asking for
drinking water.
63
Efe: It's true my daughter.
Ero: O my God! Who knows what the okada
man must have said to him but that
should not warrant killing him. Mum I
don't want to be an officer again, I don't
like people that kill innocent people,
talkless of Okada riders what is going
to happen to him?
Efe: He must be arrested and the court
marshal him if there's any reason to
imprison him, he'll be imprisoned.
Ero: What will happen to the okada man?
Efe: That nice but one bad egg can't spoil the
whole good ones.
Ero: Mum, there's this Air Force picture I saw
in your album, I was attracted by their
uniform which distinguishes them
among other uniformed officers.
Efe: All the same, forces are forces
Ero: Mum, aren't you afraid that your
daughter wants to join the military?
Efe: You your life to live and who knows
whether you' ll become the next
commander because with God all things
are possible.
65
SCENE: 11
(In front of Efe's house)
Adape: Don't give him water, if not he might
give up by the way. Who is he?
Menga: It's a pity
Baro: Let's take him to the hospital.
Menga: Would they not ask us for police
report?
Baro: Let's save this life, for no man has
monopoly of life and life is sacrilege
Menga: I t hought as much but t he
consequences that might occur if he
gives up on the way might warrant a
lot of regret.
Bentu: How could this driver over speed and
hit this innocent man?
Baro: It is even better if he reports himself at
the next police station.
Menga: How come you ever think he'll report
himself to any police station? Here in
this country, well I doubt.
Bentu: Is a pity that everybody cares about
himself alone in this country rather
than caring about others.
Baro: By the time he reported himself at the
p o l i c e s t a t i o n , s o me b o d y
else there could ask him why he is
66
played a foolish role. Abah, police
will prefer to collect money while
the culprit are released.
Shehu: Shaka, my police station is the best
because our officers are never
involved in dirty deals although
this police report has given police
bad image, what is our National
Assembly and the Judiciary doing
about it?
Amadi: Come, he is responding gradually.
Baro: Respond! His body is moving.
Thank you God, he is even asking
for water.
Peter: Please I need water, please can you
help me with water, the victim
continues to ask for water.
Bentu: Let's look for water so he can drink.
Baro: Water! Do you want to kill him?
Shehu Can't you hear he is asking for
water?
Amad: Let's give him water.
Menga: Water is one of the cheapest things
we can afford, can't we give him
water?
Baro: So none of you has ever heard or
been taught that accident victims
68
Shehu: Please stop insulting our constituted
authority. Do not allow yourself to
be fooled for not being sincere, for
the fact that some police men are
actually doing the wrong thing does
not mean that there are no good ones
among them.
Baro: There's this friend at ladylack
hospital who treats accident victims
free of charge. In fact, he is the owner
of the hospital and I think he'll be
at the hospital by now. Let's take him
there.
Bentu: That's true, lets take him there
Menga: Please stop that car coming.
Shehu: Who could be the driver coming?
Amadi: I don't know him but he could help
us.
Baro: That's God working.
The driver of the car came expressing pity all
over but pretended not to be the one that hit
Peter.
Felix: What do you people want from me?
Menga: We want to convey him to the
hospital.
67
does not require water when he
is unconsciously asking for it
because he is unconscious and such
administration could lead to death?
Menga: I was taught but Im getting
confused the more.
Betu: Let's take him to the hospital
because that's the only thing we can
do for him police report to police
report. Let's do the right thing at the
right time, saving a precious life
worth it indeed.
Baro: Which hospital should we take him
to apart from general hospital?
Menga: I prefer a private hospital.
Amadi: It's like we are taking too much time
to arrive at a better decision.
Baro: It's better to think and plan very well
before we are arrested by the police
for committing manslaughter.
Bentu: Is not only manslaughter, it is man
killer Lawyer.!
Amadi: 'No, but let us be very careful; people
say if you want to wine and dine with
the devil, one should use longer
spoon
Menga: Please who is the devil in this matter?
69
Felix: That's nice so what do we do now?
Baro: Let's take him into your car.
Felix: Ok, you are free to do that.
Menga: Who has money with him let him
bring it out now O!
As they drove off.
Baro: Turn to the left as he requested.
Bentu: He has stopped bleeding
Shehu: Kee! God is good o; I hope he has not
bled all the blood away?
Felix: Lets carry him carefully because the
pain is too much on him
Amadi: He i s gr a dua l l y r e ga i ni ng
consciousness.
Felix: Screamed, he looks like somebody I
know
Baro: Do you mean it?
Felix: Let's wash the blood off his face.
Bentu: But don't allow him to drink the water
Amadi: Do we remove his torn shirt?
Felix: Yes!
Menga: Bring him in.
Felix: Carefully examined Peter realizing
that the victim is his cousin, felt down
and shouted saying:
70
Baro: Why ar e you becomi ng an
unimaginable human?
Bentu: It's seems you are very hurt
Amadi: Every act rewards itself, that's
wonderful indeed.
Felix: Really, every act rewards itself.
Menga: Who will pay for the bill? And let him
make his deposit now.
Baro: I'm the one.
Menga: Why you Baro? Were you the one
that hit him?
Baro: No, but it's very important that we
remain our brother's keeper, we can't
afford the police report and at the
same time run away from this kind of
responsibility.
Menga: Let's save this life because life is too
precious to be wasted.
Baro: How much do you charge us and how
much do you expect us to pay as
advance?
Every act rewards itself!
Every pays sweet
No secret lives unknown.
Are buried in the heart with pains.
72
Baro: There's no need, you should have the
receipt because you own a car and as
such we expect you to always turn up
to the hospital for his care.
Bentu: But once in a while, we could turn up
to see him as well.
Shehu: That's normal; we get to do that as
well.
Menga: Let's go
Felix: God will bless all of us because what
goes up, surely comes around in life
(life is in phases)
Menga: Why this again?
Felix: There's always a corresponding
reward to every positive attitude.
They boarded another car and drove off, while
Felix kept meditating and saying: silence is
golden while noise is a calamity when
profering solution to the unknown. If I had
accepted earlier that I was the one that hit
Peter, no one would have contributed any
money. People would have given me names,
trust villagers; they will not allow me drink
water.
Baro: Please keep on checking on this
young man o!
71
Bentu: I've some amount of money with me.
Shehu: We can settle the bill.
Menga: Just ask him how much it will cost
Amadi: That's true o! And I hope he will not
capitalize on our kindness.
Felix: Let's collectively pay the bill.
Baro: Let's do it, we can do it because no
one knows tomorrow.
Bentu: God is good, we can do it
Menga: Do I start treatment?
Baro: Yes!
Menga: Where is the advance?
Baro: We are paying for the treatment cash,
here is your money.
Shehu: Can we have the receipt, because Im
t aught t o al ways be recei pt
conscious.
Menga: Yes of course!
Felix: Who'll bell the cat?
Bentu: Meaning what?
Felix: Who so ever that will collect the
receipt will be expected to be turning
up to the hospital every day.
Shehu: Yes of course!
Felix: Knowing that if he happens to collect
the receipt and present it to his people.
It will go down well; to his cousin's
family as good brother.
74
Felix: Yes, but in such a case nobody will
treat him till the police report is
tendered.
Shehu: If you were to be Peter and it happens
that you were taken to the police
station and dumped there, not
minding you and allowing you to lay
in your own pool of blood, how would
you feel?
Felix: I reject that, the blood of Jesus, o the
blood of Abraham, sorry! Blood of
Peter. God forbid but if I were to be
taken to a police station, they'll give
you people police report quickly after
knowing the cause of the accident and
even though I'm a police officer. I
always encourage senior officers like
me to allow people to treat their
vi ct i ms whi l e we go t o t he
hospital to ascertain the cause
of the accident by investigating the
cause of the crime.
Baro: I think that's wise of you because
many people have lost their precious
ones simply because of law made by
one inexperienced fellow, yeye
73
Felix: Don't worry, I'm a police officer and
apart from that we are after his
recovery.
Bentu: But really, God is good o! We wanted
to take him to General Hospital in
order to reduce bill before you came.
Shehu: Police reports almost killed him.
Menga: Why is it important for hospital to
always ask for police report on
an accident victim, when it is clearly
known that such people needed to be
attended to urgently.
Felix: Many at times, our law could be
funny.
Baro: What do you mean?
Felix: An armed robber might be chased by
police men either by having escaped
from gunshot and needed immediate
treatment, but could be detected by
police men through the help of the
attending doctor who would ask for
police report. In fact, the law is a
good one but in order way around, it a
wrong one.
Baro: You can prove whether he's a
criminal or not after when he has
survived the accident, isn't it?
76
Bentu: Please I'll be alighting at the next bus
stop.
Felix: I'm grateful for women like you who
have shown what it takes to be a
mother.
Bentu: And you people all who have
contributed physically, mentally and
financially.
Baro: We'll all alight at the next bus stop;
she has forgotten that we are coming
from somewhere together. Let's go to
that beer parlour and relax our nerves.
Shehu: Do you want us to go and drink and
eat? Have they taken the victim to the
hospital suddenly, we heard the
announcement in the canteen.
Menga: We were going before the accident.
Baro: Why don't you join us Mr. Felix?
Felix: I can't please, I'm tired; while he was
trying to avoid unwarranted visitor to
the beer parlour who couldve seen
hi s car when he hi t Pet er
and zoomed off.
Baro: When will you be there?
Felix: Tomorrow by God's grace.
Menga: I hope you will be meeting his family
this evening with the identity card
we've given you.
75
Bentu: For me, armed robber or no armed
robber; I'll assist whosoever I can help
not minding the police report,
circumstances and condition.
Menga: Why I asked you this question is
because a friend of mine hit
down somebody on the hi gh way,
hoping it was somebody he never
knew and believing that the
police report will suddenly take much
time before it will be given to him and
that could cause the death of the
accident victim, and then he decided
to move not knowing that the worst
story will befall him.
Felix: O my God! Blood is blood and water
is water, but blood is thicker than
water, police report or no police
report should not be an excuse not to
pay attention to accident victim who
are unconscious and need our support.
Baro: Please continue to advise police men
like you to always be considerate in
the way they treat innocent people
that want to assist accident victims.
Bentu: Danalai! That's it kaa! Dualah
78
SCENE: 111
Felix arrived safely but late and decided to go
to sleep.
Felix: What's wrong?
Adaje: It's time to lead us in prayer.
Felix: How is your health and that of my
children?
Adaje: We're all right but wake me up early,
so I can start preparing them for
school.
Felix: My dear, yesterday I was too busy
but I can't afford to be sleeping
without asking God for blessings,
provisions and protection. (As he
began to tell lies that'll suit what he
intends to do the very next day).
Adaje: Begin with praises while the
children supported her singing take
glory Father! Take glory Son! Take
glory Holy Ghost now and forever
more, for some time while her
children responded before their
daddy came in Daddy good
morning.
Felix: God Almighty, Lord of Lords, King
of Kings, we glorify you because you
died for us. And you've blessed,
provided and protected us; take all
77
Felix: Oh yes! It's in my pocket; here it is
[brings out one I.D card]
Shehu: That's nice, good bye
Baro: God bless you.
Felix: You people are indeed patriotic he
recalls these words.
Life pays adequately
Better in time of positive attitude.
Life is golden.
Silence manipulates all things.
Wisdom is supreme, silent is golden
80
Adaje: I've asked you to permit me to bring a
maid into this house but you refused.
Felix: Oh maid! You are still talking of
maid, the very one that left was a
witch. And if not for God who helped
us, we would've been crumbling by
now. Yet you are asking for a maid,
well my own is that, if you bring
another girl into this house and we
find out that she is a witch, you know
what I'll do. By the way, what are
your duties as home a manager?
Adaje: Dear, take it easy. The tortoise does
not tread a path that once burns its
shell
Felix: Mine is that, I'll leave the house for
you and your children, do you know
that my children have been initiated
as witches and wizards?
Adaje: God forbid.
Felix: Oh! You don't know? You think I
merely take them to church everyday
because I don't have something else
to do?
Adaje: Dear, forgive me, I'll never repeat it
again, after all, Atapuka will soon
become ten years old.
79
Ataputa: [The first born ran to his dad
saying] you came back home packed
your car in the garage. You never
asked after us but went to sleep,
daddy is it good?
Felix: No my dear, I was tired.
Glory: The only daughter asked her daddy,
where's the bicycle you said you will
buy for me?
Felix: Oh! Glory is it not too early to ask for
a bicycle now? As he carried them on
his shoulder, while trekking and
cracking jokes.
Iso: The second child began to cry,
shouting drop Glory and carry me
jare!
Felix: You have to take your bath now.
Iso: Daddy, you are the one that will bath
me.
Realizing and knowing what the children are
trying to do, he decided to call his wife's
attention.
Adaje: You are trying to run away from
them, I pity you o! Because very soon
they will start to call you uncle.
Felix: God forbid!
81
Felix: You know that before you started
pulling my legs this morning, I've
always told you to look before you
leap, your friends are human and
you can't expect us to be doing what
they're doing.
Adaje: Please forgive me but withdraw that
statement, that you'll leave this
house. Each time you say it, it
disturbs me a lot. How come you
always want to take a pair of shoes,
shirt and trousers and leave this
beautiful house for me alone? God
forbid! You will over look Atapuka
that calls you daddy, well let me
finish bathing her.
Felix: Go and dress them jare, you and
maid always. I wonder what'll teach
you a lesson of your life. I keep
telling you that life is not a bed of
roses please hurry up so that I can
drop them at school before heading
to the hospital.
Adaje: What's wrong with you, what has
hospital got to do with our
discussion?
Felix: There is nothing but sooner or later,
you will know.
82
Adaje: I hope you are not trying to hide
something from me, besides if I
may ask, aren't you going to work
today?
Felix: I will.
Adaje: Please what's wrong with you?
You've started again o! please talk to
me dear.
Felix: I hit somebody with my car.
Adaje: And you came home all this while
and kept quiet as if nothing happened,
I hope the person is not dead? Chai,
eh! Dead or not!
Felix: No! but mind your statement, it is not
me but a friend.
He understands if Peter comes home to say he
had an accident and immediately decided to
correct his wife.
Adaje: No wonder you came back, walked in
like a snail and ceased to talk to
anyone of us, and went straight to bed
with your shoes, clothes not even
minding to undress after your
dinner. Na wah for you o! E no good
for you o!
83
Felix: My dear, it was hectic for me all
through but I apologize for not telling
you.
Adaje: I accept your apology in good fate but
have you accepted mine?
Felix: How? Did you offend me? With all due
respect to you and my children, can I
start bathing the children?
Adaje: That's o.k. Nwa teacher
After his bath, he had his breakfast with his
children and drove them to school. He went
straight to the hospital at the top of the building
and behind Mrs. Efe's house. Bentu saw Mrs.
Efe and exchanged pleasantry with her while
Felix walked in.
Efe: I didn't see you yesterday evening,
what happened?
Bentu: A rat wanted to become an elephant.
There' s this man that had an
accident opposite your house, while I
was coming back from work the other
day.
Efe: I hope the man did not die?
Bentu: He did not die.
Efe: Who is he?
84
Bentu: His identity card read something Mr.
Peter's club
Efe: God forbid, I hope is not the man that
came to my house, please what was he
putting on, in fact where is he?
Disturbed.
Bentu: His clothes were soaked in blood
and it was like his bones were crushed.
He is fair in complexion; he is tall and
has gapped teeth.
Efe: Was he putting a bangle on his right
wrist?
Bentu: Not really, he is the one.
Efe: I suspect him, let's go and see who the
person is. It was my house he came
last before he had that accident, poor
man! Flirt dog.
As she hurriedly dressed and chartered a taxi
to the hospital, Felix was packing beside them.
86
Caja: Do you want to see him or the
doctor?
Bentu: We want to see the doctor first.
Caja: What are your names, purpose and
what is the name of the patient?
Bentu: His name is Mr Peter.
Caja: That's ok.
They were allowed to see the doctor and they
walked towards the door adjacent them and
knocked.
Bingo: Yes come in.
Bentu: Oga, how is family, work and our
patient?
Bingo: He's responding to treatment, in
fact; if you had not wasted time
of bringing him here, he would've
gone by now and God is really good,
his recovering is very fast.
Felix: That's the good news we want to
hear.
Bentu: Here is a friend, who Peter visited
last before the accident.
Bingo: Oh! Madam, it's a pity but God is in
control.
85
SCENE: IV
At the hospital.
Efe: Who is this man staring at us?
Bentu: Where is the person?
Efe: He is coming to see Peter.
Felix: Hi Bentu!
Bentu: I was wondering who it was I never
knew you're the one.
You're welcome sir.
Felix: Yes, let's see him
Bentu: Where's the reception?
Felix: Do you need to ask after the
reception again after all we
stayed here yesterday with the doctor.
Bentu: I think that is the way to the
reception, isn't it?
Efe: It was after Mr. Peter left my house
that he had the accident.
Felix: O! Your house, you're welcome. It is
a pleasure meeting you!
Caja the receptionist asked: Good morning sir,
please can I help you?
Felix: Yes, there's this man we brought here,
by name Mr. Peter
88
Efe: You' re talking of party, well its
tomorrow. Has anybody asked after
you for not dispatching the letters or
have you di spat ched t he l et t ers
before this accident?
Peter: I thank God you were the last person
I was holding your letter before the
accident which I gave you before the
accident, if not they would've said I
did it intentionally or how do I
explain it.
Felix: I hope you know who I am?
Peter: St ari ng at hi m once recogni zed
him shouted my cousin, but I hope
nobody has told my mother what
happened? But how come you are here?
Felix: God wanted to keep you alive when
you had this ugly accident nobody could
convey you to the hospital because you
were covered in a pool of blood. I never
knew you were the one I wanted to leave
but I couldn't because something caught
my attention and asked me if this could be
my brother what would become of me if I
hear he is dead.
87
Bentu: Yes, I'm one of them.
Peter: God bless you and reward you
people abundantly.
Efe: Do you know me?
Peter: How did you know I'm here?
Efe: Bentu is my neigbhour; just few
hours ago she came t o my
house to sort out things with me
while we were discussing she
mentioned your name and said you
had an accident.
Peter: I had the accident immediately I left
your house, I thank God that I'm
alive and people I don't know came
to rescue me and contributed
immensely for my survival. God is
great.
Efe: Eeeyah! The world is still in the
hands of good people.
Bentu: When we met you lying on the road,
we thought you were dead. Thank
God for Baro, Shehu, Menga who
were there.
Efe: Thank God he was brought here;
Bingo is such a nice man.
Peter: What of the party, is it not tomorrow?
Peter: How come I'll not be in that party?
Am I not a bonafide member, plus
I've contributed immensely to the
progress of the club.
Efe: That's why I said you should be
patient till tomorrow after all you're
a patient here.
Peter: Can I have the names of those that
delivered me from death?
Bentu: The list of their names are under that
pillow; once you've recovered
you shoul d vi si t t hem and
thank them for their kind gesture.
Peter: I'm very grateful to every one of
you.
Responded and requested Efe to lead the way
home while they exchange pleasantry with
Felix and walked away.
Peter: You said you are the one that
brought me here, Na wah. How
much is it?
Felix: I pretended to be a helper rather than
somebody who knows you.
Peter: How do you mean?
Felix: If I've accepted knowing you too
well, they would've treated your
case with kid gloves we would've
90
89
There and then, I decided to
assist. What a world if I had done it
otherwise.
Peter: When you took me to the hospital,
did you know that I was the one?
Felix: No, it was only when you've been
dressed that I screamed. But nobody
understood what I meant.
Peter: Why?
Felix: Because it pays more to use a
bucket to cover an elephant, t h e y
would not have done the positive
thing they did because pity was
written all over you that brought
about the collective payment of your
bills.
Peter: You mean my bill has been paid?
Bentu: Yes!
Peter: Where is the receipt?
Felix: Here it is.
Efe: God will reward you all.
Peter: With this I can ask the doctor to
discharge me.
Efe: Don't worry I know what you want,
don't be in a hurry we'll be
coming here from the meeting
tomorrow.
Peter: Have I come to live here? They
might decide asking me to pay s ome
bills again.
Felix: Which bill! Have you forgotten it is
tomorrow, that Efe said she will be
coming here with her members?
Peter: That's true O!
Felix: Have you forgotten that they will
probably give you some money or
gift?
Peter: Sometimes, it's pleasant to properly
close your eyes when it really
matters most When tribulations and
storm of life cannot cease
Felix: Sorry, poverty is the making of any
man who enjoys it because every
decision a man makes is his own
making freedom once it's applied.
Peter: If my mistakes will be at the mercy of
regretting why am I still her e,
please convey me home.
By letting the eyes to rest every day. For
unpredictable events are unimaginable.
Because, mistake will catch up evil men
Who has never regretted?
Let the man alone leave in the sun.
Until rest comes, let him be buried
in the moon.
92
91
not paid the bill. We saw all of us as
all helpers, though I kept pretending
not to have known you.
Peter: No wonder that's why everything
went fast, I thank God o!
Felix: Ifura logun agba when you are
careful and watchful, you can avert
danger
Peter: I thought as much, immediately I
was hit, the first man that came to me
was gorgeously dressed before I lost
consciousness.
Felix: He began to laugh and asked him if
the game really worked? Because
quite sure he was the one who turned
to become the tortoise and the game
really worked.
Peter: How do you mean? It worked if not,
where would I have gotten this huge
amount of money written on the
receipt.
Felix: Laugh again, na wah for you! Iron
sharpenth iron. Good sense is the
texture of good understanding your
sense pass tortoise own jare! He
praised himself.
Peter: However, I'm confident in leaving
here today without questioning.
Felix: Why are you in a hurry?
94
Baro: We don't have to condemn our
government but our leaders.
Shehu: Kee! Who are government and who
are the leaders? We should not
forget the fact that we are all
Contributing in destroying our
society by not caring about
others. Who could have imagine
how sincere and honest we were in
saving his life. That's what w expect
from those men who lead and govern
us because you cannot separate
leadership from humanity.
Felix: The problem we are facing today is
this, lack of purpose, fear of
responsibilities, lack of commitment
and caring about other people's
problems.
Menga: That's true, government critics the
lion does not feed on smaller animals
after being fed, rather it plays with
them in other to learn more skills and
grow stronger claws, for catching
fun.I'm happy that we all contributed
to saving the life of Peter. Just as we
are
93
Felix: Don't be afraid of anything, I'll come
and pick you tomorrow but remember
I'm expecting something from you.
All of a sudden, they were some foot sounds
and at a twinkle of an eye, hands were many
knocking at the door
Still in the hospital.
Felix: I hope there's no problem?
Peter: Are you asking of the unconscious
man, who was brought here by good
Nigerians.
Felix: Come in! Shehu, Baro, Amadi,
Menga.
Peter: You're all welcome! You're all
welcome!
Felix: These are the people that brought you
here with me; they're the people that
collectively paid your bills as Bentu
said earlier.
Mr. Peter jumped up from his bed and began
to greet them passionately. They were all
shocked at the pace of his recovery.
Menga: Thank God we didn't take you to
government hospital O!
Amadi: I thought as much because his pace of
recovery is quite unimaginable.
96
Peter: Don't think so, if it were to be you
t hat had t hat acci dent you
would have died. God has destined
me to live, nothing more nothing
less.
Felix: Na true o! But you're enjoying.
Peter: Begins to laugh.
Felix: Remembering how he hit him, and
how everything is turning for better,
he felt that God is only answerable to
any situation.
Peter: What's happening? Even if water
cannot find its level, it must flow.
Felix: O yes, I'm carried away by so many
responsibilities confronting me.
Peter: Take it easy! Life does not have
duplicate!
Felix: It's time to go.
Peter: God bless you and God will pay you
back, I'll be expecting you tomorrow.
Hope you are still going to come?
Hindrances are meant to be confronted!
They were to make a man or not.
Every monster depends on confrontation.
If death were to be as tall as good:
Failure will mean nothing
Wonders shall never end
Lets look before we leap.
95
saying we must not allow the
government to do everything for us,
pol i ce or no pol i ce r epor t .
should do whatever it takes to rescue
accident victims. If we were to
wait for him to get police report, he
would have died. If we were to
behave like other foolish citizens, we
would have allowed him to die there.
But all the same we give thanks to
God for not allowing human mistakes
killed Peter.
Amadi: Thanks for your wisdom and
u n d e r s t a n d i n g b e c a u s e l e t
alone Peter would've died due to the
fear of police report.
Baro: That's true, sometimes you get
f r u s t r a t e d i n t h e h o s p i t a l
when most doct or s, nur ses,
attendants and others will be
questioning while the victim is about
to pass on because of what they want
to get.
Peter was grateful as they stood up and
banged the door.
97
Felix: Why not, I will. Thought about
Peters statement and felt cold.
As he left, there was a bang at the door.
Peter: Who is it?
Efe: How do you do? Tomorrow is the day
o!
Peter: Yes of course.
Efe: I've come to check and know how
comfortable here will be for us
because I'm assuming you'll become
a millionaire after living here
tomorrow. I've to provide the
necessary security for our members.
Peter: Do you mean it?
Efe: After reporting your case to the
chairman and to the members of the
club, they all thought of assisting
you.
Peter: God is wonderful, there's nothing
God cannot do. God wants to use this
accident to turn my life around.
Efe: Our club members are very rich, any
person they visit be it a member or
not automatically turns to a
millionaire.
98
While this discussion was going on,
Bingo the owner of the hospital overhead
them that millionaires are only made in their
club. He stopped and began to listen
anxiously; suspended his entire programme
for that few minutes.
Peter: Olorun O! My God who is like you, so
I'm going to be a millionaire after all
this suffering in life?
Efe: Why not, those of them that are called
millionaire do they have two heads?
Peter: I just hope it'll not turn against me in
the nearest future where I'll be asked
to donate the blood of my loved ones
all in the name of money.
Efe: God forbid, we don't do that rubbish,
we're all born again with golden
spoon and as you know have you ever
suspected such thing with any of us?
Peter: No! But how do you mean, is it not
possible?
Efe: Most of our parents have been at the
helm of affairs of this country, it is a
poor man that does rituals. And most
of us are leaders and achievers in our
various fields.
99
Peter: So what?
Efe: Our club is set to help others and not to
kill.
Peter: Eyamah! Im waiting for you people.
Can I be a member after becoming a
millionaire?
Efe: Even though sooner than later you will
become a millionaire, you can't be a
member except you tremendously
doubled that money. Either by being
politically, socially and economically
sound.
Peter: I must join that club.
Efe: Ok! I'm going, see you tomorrow.
ACT THREE: SCENE 1
As she was wearing her pair of shoe, she heard
kio! Koi! A sound that signals suspicious and
alertness towards the door. The doctor quickly
walked towards the office. While she walked
down boarded a car and went home.
Ero: Mummy welcome! How was your
journey and how is uncle Peter?
Efe: He is getting better.
Ero: Two ladies came to check you; they
said they needed your attention at
Pinto hotel
Efe: Who are they? Or didn't you ask them
their names?
Ero: No! Mummy, remember tomorrow o!
They said they're going to come back
Efe: Ok! Let me see them.
At Pinto hotel.
She boarded another taxi; arrived at Pinto
hotel, as she began to walk towards the gate
she met Mr. Agbor.
Efe: All this time you ceased to call me,
nah wah for you o! An old
friend boils like hot water
100
101
Agbor: It wasn't intentional.
Efe: How is your wife? You ceased to c a l l
me, forgetting that you are married
to my girlfriend.
Agbor: She is ok, shebi you said you are not
ready to marry a poor man like me.
Efe: I regretted not marrying you because it
takes two to tangle, have I ever seen
any poor man or a rich man that has
asked my hand in marriage ever since?
But I thank God that my only daughter
has become my husband and friend.
Agbor: Such is life, I hope you'll not teach her
what you did to me?
Efe: For where! My girlfriend that married
you is really lucky.
Agbor: That's why I don't take her for granted,
and if you care to know she lacks
n o t h i n g a s f a r a s I a m
concerned.
Efe: Well, before you hurt me, what did
you bring for me is your wife here
with you?
Agbor: Yes of course, she is in that car.
Efe: Where's the car?
Agbor: The SUV at the gate.
Efe: You mean it?
Let me see her, as she began to walk towards
the gate, while Mrs. Agbor saw her and came
102
Efe: I know it's you o!
Mrs. Agbor: Who?
Efe: Shine shine baby! Do you still
bear that name?
Mrs. Agbor: Nah wah for you o! Who will call
me that name here?
Efe: It's quite long, how is life? In fact
you are looking good and
tantalizing.
Mrs. Agbor: I won't tell lies, I am married
now and am enjoying that is
why I'm looking good now o!
unlike those days, there were
lots of storms but I survived it at
last. If not for God that gave us
patience to endure, our path
would've known no peace today.
Efe: I thank God for you people o!
and I know that you yourself
know that there is no marriage
that does not carry adequate
pains and sorrow.
Mrs. Agbor: How's life jor?
Efe: Im not yet married o! Am still
waiting upon the Lord but God is
in control. Yes, God is in control
O! Your husband, my husband
before.
103
Mrs. Agbor: Well, my husband can't be yours
again; it is true that whatever is
worth dying for is worth
fighting for. He is mine forever;
let's talk about the future not the
past please.
Efe: I regretted not marrying any of
those poor men, today they are
all achievers and very rich.
Look at Jossy who was
wretched as a rat, today he is
something else.
Mrs. Agbor: Money was not your problem
then and now but all the same,
life has become a booming of
gun with the clock saying tick
tack every second.
Efe: That's true but I needed a man to
trust, even now. I've so much
wealth and there's a lot of money
around me. But there's no
happiness because there's no
man to enjoy it with me, can life
be this wicked? When it comes
as an opportunity and one fails
to make hay while the sun
shines? Who can share a passion
worth sharing than the secret of
love? Crying
104
Mrs. Agbor: How do you mean? Stop that.
Efe: You know what I mean, there are
secrets husband and wife share
alone even the fruit that fell from
it does not know, these are the
things I'm passionately missing
as a woman.
Mrs. Agbor: That ' s t r ue, I know and
understand you because you can
passionately direct your husband
not others.
She began to cry while Mrs. Agbor led her into
the SUV. Mrs Agbor's children kept on
starring at her and were all surprised, thinking
whether their mother has beaten Efe with her
usual mouth gun. Mimtos asked mummy,
what's wrong? As Mrs. Agbor cellphone rang
and she picked it up to answer.
Mrs. Agbor: Good day, please whom am I
speaking with?
Emeka: Please whom do you want to
speak to?
105
Mrs. Agbor: Please don't be offended; you are
talking to his wife, can I know
who you are?
Emeka: I'm his friend, an immigration
officer.
Mrs. Agbor: Oh sorry! he has told me about
you. Please wait a minute let me
give him the phone.
As she walked to give the cell phone to her
husband while Efe kept starring at them,
prompting Mrs. Agbor to be very vigilant with
her.
Mrs. Agbor: Are you still crying? The silent
water flows and silent nights
never stop it from flowing. The
flowing water abides to its level to
avoi d t he beat i ng of t he
leaves and trunks of trees. Stop it
please, its ok jare! The children
are becoming afraid of this place.
Efe: Oh! Make una no fear little
human na my foolishness dey
worry me o! what a pity.
Mrs. Agbor: As she began to laugh, asking
what of your daughter?
Efe: Back in life, I've seen that the
106
beginning of everything matters a
lot in life, because as the water
flows or drops it never comes
back, if not for God who gave me
that girl when I was in school, I
will have committed suicide.
Mrs. Agbor: How do you mean?
Efe: Is this how life would've treated
me without a child? Do you know
that Im not getting younger! I
can't get pregnant anymore. I
don't know the course whether it
was those drugs I used to take for
prevention those days, you know
that it was those concoction we
used to rob in order to attract men
all in the name of fine girl in
fact, am finished. Those love
charms oh t h a t i n c l u d i n g
con Concoctions.
Mrs. Agbor: You' re finished, you' re not
finished when you can stand,
but you are standing yet you claim
to be finished. It's only a fool
who behaves that way.
Efe: So there's hope.
Mrs. Agbor: Yes , you' r e r i ch, t her e' s
wealth smiling at you and how
then do you say there's no man that
107
you can marry. You can marry if
only you can remove pride in you
and be submissive to your man.
By thinking positively, acting
positively, talking positively and
pr ayi ng pos i t i vel y, t hen
yours shall become a reality.
Efe: Well, I'm grateful meeting you.
While they walked towards the car as she kept
asking after Mr. Agbor and some of the
organizers of the programme discussing and
laughing as if desires shall become reality.
Efe: Come, don't you quarrel with
your husband? Or is he a gentle
man even at his home. Calm and
lovely with his eyes?
Mrs. Agbor: Do you want to take him now?
You are admiring my husband
much more than I expected, I
hope there's no problem with
you spiritually?
Efe: There's no problem, after all was
it not me that gave him to you for
marriage?
108
Mrs. Agbor: That's true, and if you want to
listen and listen attentively
without doubt in your mind. My
husband is my own not merely
because you once dated him as a
friend while we were friends as
well. If there's any scenario that
life duplicates itself and we are
both seen again in the scene of life
we wouldn't like to marry any
other man or woman rather than
each other and that reminds me of
Bayo.
Efe: Whaoo! You've spoken well but
there's always this confidence that
kills the monkey when it cracks
the wrong part of a kernel it
muse! And muse! While looking
up and down to know if there's
anybody that will help in sharing
the pains with, is it Bayo the
troublesome landlord?
Mrs. Agbor: Oh yes, you remember him, yeye
Bayo.
Efe: I've not seen him for quite a long
time now.
Mrs. Agbor: Where is he, what is he doing now?
109
Efe: Nobody knows where he is,
Emeka told me that somebody said
they once woke up one morning
and couldn't find him. You know
he drinks a lot and nobody knows
whether he has fallen into
anything and died. I once met him
when I visited one of our friends,
Omoeko. He was a complete
bloody drunk.
As they all began to laugh, making jest of Bayo
Mr. Agbor's children suddenly began to laugh
as well, when they said their mother was trying
to demonstrate to Efe how Bayo behave when
he was drunk in school.
Efe: You don't forget things quite
easily.
Mrs. Agbor: Bayo is such a wonderful jovial
young man, always entertaining us
in those days. I know he will end
up a drunk because he started his
drinking habit from the womb
laughs.
Efe: That reminds me; Mr. Peter the
letter dispatcher had an accident.
110
He had an accident when he went
to dispatch the letter your husband
gave to him concerning his
survival from foreign mission to
our club members, he is in the
hospital as I speak to you.
Mrs. Agbor: What a world, is it that funny man?
Efe: Yes, let me see what they are doing
in the kitchen but this is supposed
to be a hotel.
As she went in, the women who were cooking
began to sing her praises calling asha! Ponto!
the Iroko tree among women folks, the tree
that cannot be cut down without the
consultation of the gods you're highly
welcome o! they began to embrace her one after
the other.
Mama Odu: Here's my delicious delicacy, I've
finished cooking, please taste it.
Efe: Can I really taste it?
Mama Odu: Why not?
Efe: I hope everything is all right for
now?
Mama Oja: Yes o!
Efe: It's time to go and prepare for the
occasion, Im going o!
111
SCENE: 11
At 2a.m everywhere went agog; there were
sounds of sound and that of music and human
contribution to the environment making it very
fierce indeed. Mr. Agbor was the celebrant,
behold the cloud kept to its rhythm Pinto Hotel
was the place and it was on it beauty to behold!
Ero: Mummy, this hotel is very
beautiful, thanks for allowing me
to be here with you.
Efe: (Exchanging pleasantries with
people heard her daughter's
appreciation).
Mr. Agbor: Is this your daughter?
Efe: Yes now, or have you forgotten?
Mr. Agbor: She has grown up o!
Mrs. Agbor: She has grown indeed.
(Sighting the club chairman, Efe walked to him
to ask him of Mr. Peter's health)
Chairman: Everything is Ok! that car parked
there is for him, it was donated to
him from one of our members.
112
And I'm expecting everybody to
contribute his or her widow's
mite to support him too.
Efe: That's nice; you can pick the
mi cr ophone and i nt i mat e
those of them that have not heard
about it to do so.
Chairman: What do you mean?
Efe: About their support and widow's
mite nah!
Chairman: That's true but don't worry, the
man is going to become a
millionaire.
Efe: I thought as much, may God give
us the will and zeal to do that.
Bada: Is it Mr. Peter, the town crier that
use to dispatch letters to our club
members?
Chairman: Yes!
Bada: Today is his day
Efe: Yes oooh! shebi! We're good in
making people millionaire, here
is another millionaire deserved
to be made or born among us.
He has served us well, and we
can't afford to let him go
unrewarded.
113
Agnaga: We're gradually coming to the
end of this occasion.
Bada: Let's talk about today's occasion.
Chairman: I hope you did not observe or
witness any mistakes among your
members?
Bada: It's like everything went well, just
as you've said.
Agnaga: I observed that it was only Metu,
Maba's friend that abused his
personality by getting drunk
much more than expected of him.
Patcha: Don't worry he knows the cost.
Metu: Hear i ng hi s name bei ng
pronounced by Dada, hefelt being
ruined and considered it as a
battlefield to attack him like
a viper. Though drunk, he
made mess of himself the better.
Agnaga: Who are you talking to?
Dada: If I've Metu and know that
mine is Dada you can start
beating me. What have I done to
you that you're always looking at
me?
Metu: You thought Im deaf, even if
am drunk.
114
Dada: What do you mean by that?
Metu: Were you not the one reporting
me to the chairman.
Dada: Yes, you are not drunk.
Metu: If I'm drunk is it your mouth that I
use in drinking the beer Mr.
Agbor bought for us.
Dada: I'm not against you, but you've
used your mouth to abuse
yourself.
Metu: How do you mean and so what?
Dada: Do you not perceive how bad
your mouth stinks? You urinated
on the floor of the hall, is it not
bad?
Chairman: You peopl e s houl d s t op
disturbing us.
Dada: Yes sir, I concur.
Metu: Oga, let's go and make Peter a
millionaire first.
Dada Supported.
Metu Oh! This is the first time in this
club that you are supporting me
for once, therefore I will offer
you an olive branch.
Efe: Please let's move and go to that
place in peace.
115
Metu: Don't worry, no man will leave
here till we go to that place, I'm
drunk but I know that Mr. Peter
must be a millionaire today.
Then they left Pinto hotel all together to visit
Mr. Peter, Mr. Agbor who was highly happy
couldn't hold his joy by leading the way. Efe
kept directing Mr.Agbor. (All board the SUV
and zoomed off)
Mr. Agbor: This man is very obedient and
nice.
Efe: Can't you see how everybody
wanted to visit him in the
hospital?
Ero: Mummy, is it the man that came to
our house that day?
Efe: Yes, he had an accident.
Ero: Is he the man your club wants to
make a millionaire?
Efe: Yes.
Ero: Why is it so? Is your club good in
making people millionaire?
Mr. Agbor: Of course, for you; you are born
with silver spoon, you can never
became a poor child for life.
116
Ero: Before nko! Poverty kay! Me to fi
ano God forbid!
When everybody is in the sitting position in the
SUV while Agbor discussions goes on just like
lagbaja's album: gele and soyinka's lyric.
Efe: Watch out, you're getting close to
the hospital.
Mr. Agbor: Is it that place?
Efe: Yes.
Mr. Agbor: Should I park at this place?
Efe: No, pack adjacent to the other
cars in your front, and how come
you left your wife and children for
this place?
Mr. Agbor: Can't you see them in their own
car? Must they follow me to
everywhere?
Efe: Where has my child gone to? And
for you, I regretted not marrying
you.
Mr. Agbor: I thought as much.
Efe: Well, the door is still open for you
if you care, she thought her
desire could be met for her to
strike for the last time at the
117
Camel's back so as to make Mrs.
Agbor a laughing stock. Lo! And
behold this man is not giving up
she hissed. What could this
woman have given to this man,
she thought and ponder a bit and
hissed again while still expecting
Agbor's reply.
Mr. Agbor: Care huh! Stop it. You're lustful
Efe: lost or wetin I say I want to
have you(approached and held her
hands).
As they came down from their various cars in a
single file and began to walk while Efe led the
way. There was a bang on Mr. Peter's door as
he asked who that was?
Efe: It's me the only woman among
men.
Peter: Please come in.
Chairman: So you're in the hospital without
our notice.
Peter: It isn't easy! I can't stand and if not
for God, I wonder what would've
happened to me by now.
Mr. Agbor: This is wonderful; please can you
stand for us to see?
118
Peter: Stood up, but not really standing
up properly.
Mr. Agbor: let's pray for him before any other
thing follows.
Chairman: Then, lead us in prayer.
Mohammed: I'll pray in the name of Allah.
After the prayer, chairman communicated with
them to offer their widow's mite. We're here to
give you one million naira, we decided to give
you this money because a good name is better
than gold. In many occasions, we've given you
millions of money to deliver to some people;
you delivered it without doubt or contrary
deeds. You've also managed our club house as
expected even when most club houses around
us are complaining of criminal activities here
and there perpetrated by guardians. You've
shown that poverty is not the right basis to
mismanage other people's fortune but
management is proper application of
knowledge with evidence of riches to follow.
Therefore, on behalf of this club of which I'm
the chairman, I present to you the cheque of
one million, which is redeemable from union
bank.
119
Mr. Peter: I'm elated. (as he uttered the
word he fell on the floor and
began to talk).
Goodness thrills like water!
Is indeed good to be good at all times.
No man has become without
been helped.
It's only left for helpers to remember
and do the right thing.
Is really no one's turn but indeed
it's good to be good.
Because good name is like breathe
of life smelling aura of roses
If I've rejected the peanut that ushers
me into the club!
This noon wouldn't have honoured me.
Everyday carries adequate blessings
But every activity comes good tag.
A good name is better than gold.
120
They were all surprised hearing Peter
speaking philosophically while he laughs in
good will. It is then that it dawned on them
that poverty is not evidence of lack of
knowledge.
Only poverty can dine into the waste
contributed by others when one fails to
recognize where he is because you'll not know
where you are coming from until you know
what life can offer you in time of sorrow they
all left in peace while Peter continues to
celebrate.

The end!
119
120
GLOSSARY:
Ashawoo-prostitute.
Okunrin alagide-stuborn.
Onye oshi-thief.
Onye ojo-bad person
Ekwensu-satan.
Onye iberibe-useless person.
Bura ubanka-fool/useless person.
Isuukwu-big head.
Oria obiri na-aja ocha-HIV (AIDS)
Ejo/agwo-dog.
Onye nzuzu-stupid.
Iskanshi-stubornessOgba-afa/soothsayer.
Aawu-stingy.
Ogbanje-posses person.
(Lipashinde-sweet sixteen)
Abonchi-food.
Dan Iska! - Exclamation
Ina za ke ji/ina za ke-where are they going to
Nwa kayon ke-how much is your good.
Ka zo/ke zo-come and eat food.
Za ka je kasuwa-will you go to the market.
Ka sar mum kayan-sell it to me.
Gowayin-character.
Ruwa-water.
Kwana biyi-long time.
Kare-dog.
B/b ijebu-ojulegba.
Aja-dog.
Kininu-Lion. Okpetu-s eri-problem has come.
Okpetu-s eri-problem has come. Ekpa-fool
Ti vo wora-where are you going
Oghene biko-god I beg you.
Ewuobi-idot
O tunugbeke-talkative
Se ke vwe- call him for me.
Era vwen-animal. Wam younra-leave this place.
Ologbo-cat
Eyele-pigeon. Ijapa-tortoise. Pepeye-duck
Elede-pig. Omo- olosi-stupid child.
Katakata-problem.
Elejo-talkactive.
Eniti oni ipinle-somebody that plays to much.
Egbonmi-my senior brother.
Alaroro-highest bargainer.
Yonre-come here.
Chi-God

Dan Iska: The Place of Exploit

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