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Allison Triplett
Eng 111 102
10 July 2014

Deserving of Love

Little Susie wakes up suddenly. She has had a bad dream and is feeling panicked, scared.
She looks around her room, the surroundings still not completely familiar to her. She feels sad
and lonely and a bit frightened. She calls out for comfort, Dad?, both a question and a request.
Within seconds, the door opens and two figures are standing next to one another. What is it,
little Susie? Whats wrong honey? Two men walk in, each going to a side of her bed to hug
and comfort her. She welcomes the embraces and the bad dream starts to fade away. She is
home, she is safe, and her Daddies love her. She knows that they wont let anything harm her
and that they will protect her. They both stay in bed with her until she falls back asleep
peacefully. Adoption is a process that has existed in our culture long before people had to fill
out paperwork or take legal steps to be entrusted with the care of a child that was not genetically
theirs. According to the Congressional Coalition on Adoption, there are close to 400,000
children in the US alone that are awaiting adoption. Despite these overwhelming numbers, some
interested, capable and loving adults are turned away due to sexual orientation. These children
only want a family, and it is highly doubtful that they would care if that family has two dads or
two moms. Children only know love. Gay families can offer children everything that they need
or desire: a safe and stable home, support both financially and emotionally and most importantly,
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love. Why are these children being denied their basic rights? Put simply, it is due to ignorance,
hatred and fear of the unknown.
According to the American Civil Liberties Union, state agencies and courts now apply a
"best interest of the child" standard to decide cases where the adopting parents sexuality has
come under fire. Under this approach, a person's sexual orientation cannot be the basis for ending
or limiting parent-child relationships unless it is demonstrated that it causes harm to a child -- a
claim that has been routinely disproved by social science research. So many of these children
just want a safe and stable home environment in which to thrive. A foster home is a less than
ideal situation for many of them as they may have special needs that require more attention or
care. Many of the children that are in the foster care system are considered imperfect, meaning
they are not white babies. There are many homosexual couples or individuals that would be
happy to adopt these children and show them love and thus in turn start to improve the system of
adoption and foster care overall as a whole.
The opposing side of this argument would say that a child would be confused by having
two moms or two dads, or that the child will grow up confused by the household arrangement.
There is no evidence to suggest that the children of lesbian and gay parents are less intelligent,
suffer from more problems, are less popular, or have lower self-esteem than children of
heterosexual parents. In fact, the children of lesbian and gay parents grow up as happy, healthy
and well-adjusted as the children of heterosexual parents. A child is not born with hate in their
heart. Hate is something that is taught or learned from their environment and those around them.
These children will also be given support by their new families that will be vital to a
childs ability to thrive. In fact, it has recently come to light that children being raised in gay
families may be happier than children being raised in a heterosexual environment. One of the
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main reasons for this happiness was that the children typically are not held to standards of
normal gender roles, but are allowed to develop and play in ways that they enjoy. If a boy wants
to play with dolls or make up, or a girl wants to build something or play with trucks, they are
allowed to without the questioning or protest that may come from heterosexual parents. The lead
researcher in this study, Dr. Simon Crouch stated that the children: take on roles that are suited
to their skill sets rather than falling into those gender stereotypes, something that children
should be doing anyway.
Some states still oppose gay rights in general. Utah has written in to its constitution that
gay marriage is illegal. But if one is to take a closer look at the opposition and their argument
that these children will turn out different or mixed up regarding their identities, it is evident that
there really isnt concrete evidence to support this thought. Many opponents of the gays rights
claim that putting a child in this environment will be detrimental to the childs physical well-
being, claiming that a gay man or woman will not be able to control any sexual urges they feel
and will then act those urges out on an unwilling child. The opposite is actually true in this case.
According to the ACLU:
There is no connection between homosexuality and pedophilia. All of the
legitimate scientific evidence shows that. Sexual orientation, whether
heterosexual or homosexual, is an adult sexual attraction to others. Pedophilia, on
the other hand, is an adult sexual attraction to children. Ninety percent of child
abuse is committed by heterosexual men. In one study of 269 cases of child
sexual abuse, only two offenders were gay or lesbian. Of the cases studied
involving molestation of a boy by a man, 74 percent of the men were or had been
in a heterosexual relationship with the boy's mother or another female relative.
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The study concluded that "a child's risk of being molested by his or her relative's
heterosexual partner is over 100 times greater than by someone who might be
identifiable as being homosexual, lesbian, or bisexual."

A child needs love to thrive. They need support, both financially and emotionally, from
parents that love them. Gay couples are able to offer that and more to so many children out there
that have been in a system that is designed to fail them. Stability is available to so many more
out there that need it, and yet there are still those that oppose this process based on simple
ignorance and fear. If a child is able to look beyond such things as race, sexual orientation and
religious affiliation, why cant adults? The tide is turning and the United States is finally starting
to get that love is love, no matter the source.













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Bibliography

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foster-care. The American Civil Liberties Union. Web. 8 July 2014.
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