How NOT to Teach Your Children about

Money (A Personal Experiment

Posted on May 7, 2013 // 1 Comment
Kavya, what is money? I asked my eightyea! o"d da#ghte!
!e$ent"y, even as she was dee%"y eng!ossed in a &ook'
(e! answe! st#m%ed me, sim%"y &e$a#se I was not e)%e$ting
it and in the way she said it'
*he said, Pa%a, money is something that, i+ we don,t waste,
$an get #s &igge! and &ette! things in the +#t#!e'
-ow. I to"d he!' /o# dese!ve a h#g +o! this'
(ow Kavya de+ined money may not &e its %e!+e$t de+inition, &#t it e++e$tive"y $ontains a"most
the enti!e essen$e o+ how we m#st hand"e it 0money1'
It $ontains the im%o!tan$e o+ saving money &y spending less money now, and "etting the power of
compounding g!ow that money so that we $an maintain our purchasing power 0and sti"" have
mo!e money1 in the +#t#!e'
I was es%e$ia""y ama2ed at he! answe! &e$a#se the same $hi"d, ti"" a&o#t two yea!s &a$k, tho#ght
that money $ame +!om the 34M, and that he! +athe! $o#"d get as m#$h as she wanted to &#y as
many toys as she $o#"d set he! eyes on' 4hat,s what most kids think these days'
3nyways, sin$e then, it hasn,t &een an easy !ide +o! me and my wi+e to get the !ight money ideas
in he! &!ain5&#t then who says %a!enting is easy?
My !irst"hand experience in parentin#
I don,t !emem&e! how many times I have to"d Kavya to $hange he! $"othes a+te! $oming +!om
s$hoo", &!#sh he! teeth twi$e a day, do he! homewo!k &e+o!e going to %"ay, and do anything e"se
+o! that matte!'
It sta!ts with P"ease do this. and ends with 4his is the +i+th and "ast time I,m te""ing yo# to do
this.
I am s#!e i+ yo# a!e a %a!ent, this is a"so a no!ma" %a!t o+ yo#! dai"y "i+e'
3s %a!ents, we ask, and ask, and ask, and ask5and i+ we a!e "#$ky, o#! kids $oo%e!ate a+te! the
+o#!th o! +i+th !e6#est o! a+te! a "o#d &#t othe!wise ha!m"ess s$o"ding'
-e $om%"ain that o#! kids neve! "isten to #s, and ask othe! %a!ents how they get thei! kids to
&ehave, eat hea"thy +ood, and go to s"ee% on time'
I+ that,s not a"", we $ons#"t the Inte!net and seve!a" &ooks on &!inging #% we""$#"t#!ed and
dis$i%"ined $hi"d!en'
4hen, even as we a%%"y a"" those te$hni6#es, o#! kids 7#st don,t "isten' 8#t, they do o&se!ve'
/es, that,s the way kids "isten to %a!ents 9 not to thei! wo!ds, &#t to thei! a$tions'
-hi"e I am ye""ing at Kavya, she is wat$hing me' -hi"e I am a!g#ing with my wi+e, she is
wat$hing #s'
-hi"e I s%eak o#t my mind at !ash d!ive!s o! "ose my %atien$e d#!ing t!a++i$ 7ams, she is
wat$hing me'
-hi"e I s%end money, she is wat$hing me'
:#! kids a!e wat$hing o#! eve!y move, even when they don,t "isten to one wo!d, at "east not ti""
we say it +o! the +i+th time'
Our $ids also watch our money beha%iour
I have &een a %a!ent +o! 7#st the %ast eight yea!s, so whateve! I am s#ggesting &e"ow is +!om my
"imited e)%e!ien$e'
4he t!#th I have !ea"i2ed is that, as %a!ents, we sho#"dn,t wo!!y that o#! $hi"d!en neve! "isten to
#s'
Instead, we sho#"d wo!!y that they a!e a"ways wat$hing #s'
-hen it $omes to money, I have !ea"ised that whateve! "itt"e Kavya has "ea!nt has &een &y
wat$hing me and my wi+e hand"e o#! money'
*o I +ee" %!o#d to know that, at a tende! age o+ eight, she knows the im%o!tan$e o+5
&pendin# less than earnin# 0and now she is s%ending even "ess, seeing he! %a!ents
s%end even "esse! as the +ami"y in$ome has $ome down1
Not !ollowin# the crowd 0she is ha%%y that he! +athe! owns a sma"" $a! even as he!
+!iends, +athe!s a!e moving to &igge! ones1
A%oidin# borrowin# money 0she is ha%%y that Pa%a has no "ia&i"ities on his head and
that,s why he wi"" neve! have to go to wo!k on a 7o& to ea!n money to %ay o++ any de&t1
'i%in# 0she !eminded #s that the ann#a" s%onso!shi% o+ two kids a!e $oming #% d#e, and
is a"ways wi""ing to give away he! %ossessions to anyone who $annot a++o!d them1
En(oyin# li!e instead o! runnin# a!ter money 0she wants Pa%a and M#mmy to stay with
he! 2;<7, even i+ that means "esse! money to s%end on do""s and d!esses1
4he!e a!e many mo!e things that she wi"" "ea!n a&o#t money as she g!ows o"de! 0at "east this is
what I ho%e1'
In +a$t, he!e is &!oad %"an I am wo!king on to tea$h he! the seve!a" key ideas on money at
di++e!ent %oints in he! "i+e5
Cheatsheet) *hat +,m Teachin# My Child
about Money- and *hen
4his %"an is not et$hed in stone and may $hange as %e! $hanging times' 8#t I %"an to +o""ow it
"ike I %"an to +o""ow my sto$k investment %hi"oso%hy with some dis$i%"ine'
I ho%e this $heatsheet a"so g#ides yo# in yo#! e++o!t to !aise a +inan$ia""y !es%onsi&"e $hi"d'
The bottomline is.
3s a %a!ent, I have "ea!nt that the on"y way we $an design o#! $hi"d!en,s +#t#!es is &y o#! own
&ehavio!'
*o the!e is no %oint tea$hing them 0o! wanting them to "ea!n1 things we o#!se"ves a!e not doing'
4e""ing them, -e sho#"d not waste money. o! -e sho#"d give money to the needy wi"", in
my e)%e!ien$e, not "ead them to do what we want them to do'
(oweve!, showing them how to not waste money and how to give to the needy wi"" s#!e"y "ead
them to something good'
In sho!t, kee%ing in mind that o#! $hi"d!en a!e not on"y wat$hing #s &#t "ea!ning +!om #s sho#"d
&e !eason eno#gh +o! #s to $hange o#! &ehavio! &e+o!e it is $ast in stone +o! them and +o! thei!
+#t#!e gene!ations'
I am 7#st w!iting +!om my e)%e!ien$e, howeve! "imited it may &e'
4he t!i&e wo#"d &e ha%%y to hea! views +!om the mo!e e)%e!ien$ed %a!ents and g!and%a!ents on
how they have in$#"$ated sa+e money ha&its in thei! $hi"d!en and g!and$hi"d!en'
=)%e!ien$e is, a+te! a"", the &est t!aining man#a"'