For no particular reason, and in no particular order, here's a compilation of qu

estions you should ask yourself about any long-term relationship. take this with
a grain of salt, as I am a loveless misanthrope.
Am I relying on my partner for my happieness or enjoyment?
If you aren't happy unless you're around your partner, it might be time to put t
hings on hold. A relationship should enhance your life, not be the sole determin
ing factor for your fufillment.
Am I handling my own problems and issues in a healthy way? Is my partner?
People can change, and deal with their problems, but you're the only one who can
affect that change. You can lean on your partner for support, or vice versa, bu
t if you're seeing a relationship as a solution to your problems, you're not rea
dy for anything serious.
Can I hold a conversation with my partner?
Telling eachother how much in love you are, and how cute you think your partner
is, isn't a conversation. If you can't fill a conversation with something you bo
th find stimulating now, how are your conversations going to be in say, 10 years
?
Do I, or does my partner have a substance abuse problem?
If the answer is yes, it is time to pull back and solve the issue before continu
ing to pursue the relationship. Not only can a relationship built on substance a
buse be a nightmare, you may not like the clean version of your partner. Who kne
w that stopping drinking/drugs etc might cause significant changes in people?
Do we have common friends, interests and hobbies?
If you can't think of any activities, media or people you both like, is this rea
lly going to work out?
Do we have separate friends, interests and hobbies?
The opposite is also important. If you have nothing but shared interests or frie
nds, how are you going to spend time away from eachother, especially when you ne
ed to? You don't have to like everything your partner likes, nor should you. If
you want to date a copy of yourself, well, you're already doing that by yourself
. Also, if you need to confide in someone about your partner, do you really want
that person to be part of your shared peer group?
Are you and your partner compatible sexually?
This is an important one, because if you don't mesh well in the bedroom, you mig
ht just need to downgrade to friends, or sever entirely. This isn't just a quest
ion of whether you're both attracted to eachother. Do you have a similar sex dri
ve? If one partner desires regular sex, and the other only desires sex infrequen
tly, this can frustrate both partners. The more active partner may feel like the
y have to badger the other into intimacy, and the less active partner may see fr
equent sex as some sort of obligation. Neither side sounds very conducive to a g
ood relationship. Do you share a similar level of interest in kink? A partner on
ly interested in missionary may balk at even the most mild of kink, while on the
opposite end, an extremely kinky partner may feel bored in bed. If you're monog
amus, don't pair up with a promiscuous partner. If you're both ok with an open r
elationship, more power to you.
DO you and your partner share similar life goals, from finances and carreer, to
children and family?
If one partner doesn't want children, and the other does, you should sever and f
ind someone who shares you desire, or lack of desire for progeny. The last thing
we need are more unwanted or resented children. Similarly, if you want to do th
e single income/homemaker thing, but your partner wants to share equal burden fi
nancially, it can only lead to conflict. Do you both want a house? Do you want t
o go backpacking across Europe staying in hostels?
Most importantly, can you discuss these questions and concerns, and other proble
ms?
The most important facet of a long-term relationship is the ability to have open
and honest communication with your partner. If you can't discuss an issue, how
can you find a solution, or discover that there is no acceptable resolution? If
you have to lie to your partner about important things, you should not be with t
hem, period.
Are you going to post incessantly about your relationship on social media?
If so, die in a fire. You are in love with your partner, I am not.