1

ACollectionofPoems
ByChrisMcMenamin
20112014

Undereachsubcategory,thepoemsarelisted(mostly)chronologically.
MypoemsareinspiredmostlybyElizabethanliterature,andtosomeextentpostElizabethan.
Ihopeyouenjoy.

Self-Awareness

TheKnowledge
Hislifewasalie
forheliveditwithshame
Tookshelterfromsun
andrejoicedintherain.

HecalledouttoMeadows,
ToMountains,ToSeas,
HecalledouttoPlants,
AstheygrewintoTrees.

Hehadnodoubts,
nothoughts,norideas
Nowants,aims,norgoals,
nosecrets,nofears.

Yethedidknowhisname,
andheknewhisownkind,
andthethingheknewbest?
Thatthingwashismind.

2
SunRisenLife
Thehumanmind
judgesnotwhich
worksforothers,
butthenthemselves.

Themakerstime
wasspentonsuch
whichwe,ourselves,
destroy.

Ajoyfullife
livesnotwhat
iswanted,
butrequired.

Apeacefulcourse
isnoneatall,
intheexistence
ofallbeliefs.

3
Answerless
Iveansweredyourquestions,
Youveyettoreturn.
Youhavenoanswers,
astherecordnears
theendofthetrack.

Everythingbitterissweet
toahungryman,
thelostbooktellsme.
Butthatwasnotaquestion,
andnoquestionsexist.

Weneedaresource,and
Weneedarealsource.
Whereisonetobefound?
Ineverybrokenmelody,
Perfectionisfound.

4
AConsciousDecision
Aconsciousdecision
Affectsaconsciousworld
Aworldoflife
Andaworldoflies
Thatyouonlywanttoexist.
Alifeoncelived,
Tobelivedagain.

Alifeoflove,
oraloveoflife?
Butwhatisitworth
intheend?
Yousinganewsong,
andyourhymeanoldrhyme,
butwhatisitworth
intheend?

Thedecisionismade.
Themanislongdead
Offtoliveanother,
Inaworldofbelief.

5
TheFiresKnowledge
Asoulonceheard
isasoulunknown:
Onesheepofaherd,
Waitingtobeshown.

Goodthingsofthisworld
Hidewayinshadows.
Flagsunfurled,
Inbrokenmeadows.

Youseethepower,
Showntoall.
Youseethetower,
Hundredfeettall.

AdamantwithGreed,
Thirstforafeed.
Prideshowsall,
OnanEnviousfall.

RageneedsRest,
ButDesiresthebest.
Theystandoutthere,
Wherewedonotfear.

Wefearthehidden,
Welovethesheep.
Withgood,weridden,
Withwicked,wekeep.

6
MyRegrets
Regretisnotlookingback,
onthepast,andsighing.
Regretisnotlookingnow,
atthepresent,andcrying.
Regretisnotlookingforward,
tothefuture,anddreaming.
Regretislookingback,
andacceptingthatthings
willneverbethesame.
Regretislookingnow,
andwaitingforthesign
thatthingswillstarttogetbetter.
Regretislookingforward,
TotheDreamsyouhadinthepast,
thatwillneverreturn.
Regretiswhenyoudgiveup,
thejoysyouhaveinherited
toreturnthings
toastheywere.

7
Janus
Therearealwaystwohalves
toeverywhole
Twosides
ofeverycoin
Twofaces
oneveryperson:

Onethatsays
"WhatImdoingisbad"
andanotherthatstates
"Butitfeelssogood".
Yourconsciencesitsonyourshoulder,
Dontturnthemaway.

Ialwaystrytobe
thevoiceofreason
ofgood.
Theonethatasks
Ifyoubelieveitsright.
Ineveraimtojudge.

Pickanumber:
7or12?
Youcantmakechoicesthisway.
Askyourselfthequestions
orhavesomeoneaskthem
toyou.

Suggest?Sure!
Influence?Never!
Guidealongthepath,
walkedbysomanybefore,
inthesearchtofind:
NottruthYourself.

Therearetwofaces
toeverysoul:
Desire,andMoral.

Whichdoyouchoose?

8
NewWorld
Ialwaystrytobe
amanasidemyself
"Amanforothers"theysaid
"bringshappinessandwealth"
Alasmyjourneystarts
orends,atleast,Ipart,
asIembrace
whatIcantfix.

Idelveintothedeep
subconsciousofmyMind,
andgivebirthtoanewworld,
wherelivespeaceforallkind.
Imadematter,andlife,
containedideasofstrife,
asmyperfectworld
formeditself.

Openingmyeyes,
Iseetheworldofwar,
Itakeitallin,till
Icanbearitnomore.
IoaththatIwillneer
buildaworldoffear.
Closemyeyesand
yearntoforget.

Icreatedconsciousness,
Icreatedpeaceofmind,
wearyofrebellion,
Iwasalwaystrueandkind.
Butnonethelessitcame
Iknewitdbethesame.
Ihadlostthegame
fromthestart.

Bothworldsendedrightthere,
asIfelltothefloor.
Asingleteardidlay,
andofmewasnomore.
Whileeventothisday
Ihavenotlearnttheway
inwhichwecansave
ourownlives.

9
TheLionsStrength
BraveryisknownbytheLionsstrength
thecourageofordinaryman
astheirworldisrockedbypain,

Tosurviveintheworld,socruellymadetotest,
withothersplacedaround,witheasierandharderlives,
butyourownpathisachallenge

Tostriveinthisworld,tocomeoutontop,
tostandinthelimelightandproclaimtotheworld:
Imadeit!IdidwhatIwanted,
againstallodds,andallbymyself!

Butlistenintentlytothevoiceinyourhead,
anddontbediscouragedifittellsyouthatyourewrong.
Standupandfight,
Dowhatyouthinkisright.

DefendYourself

10
ACracklingRoar
TheFiresweptmeup
andcarriedmeaway
totheworldwithoutfear,
andwhy,heneedntsay.

Theicecoldwindblewgainstmyface,
mytearsfellfarbehind.
IrefusedtoacceptwhatIwouldmeet,
Iknewmyself,mymind.

Weflewpastcarriagedriving
throughthetimeoffallenleaves.
Isawtheseasonscreeping,
TheywerestealingFall,likethieves.

Hespokenotawordofconflict,
nay,notonewordatall,
insteadweflewpastmountains,
thingsthatmademefeelsmall.

Wepastmortality,
wepassedallIcallhome,
weenteredtheworldofspiritsandshades,
theworldwherethedeadroam.

Shrieksfromahigh,
torturedscreamsfrombelow,
wepassedtheriverofbrokendreams,
whereboiledbloodmeltssnow.

Furiesflewonoverhead,
circlinghigh,smellingnewprey.
Thosewerethefirstbeastsonmyjourney,
andIheardthemsay:

"TheFirecarriesonly
onewhoknowsnothimself,
theonethatseeksnothappiness,
notriches,wealth,norhealth.

Acacklewasheard,thefuriesdescended
onavictimfarbelow,
theFiretookmeonwards,
therewasstillsomuchtoshow.

Toaholeintheground,wherenothingisfound,
'ceptdoorsmadeoutofgold,
11
frombeyondboomedthevoiceofyouth,
yetsomehowsoundssoold:

"TheFirecarriesonly
onewhoknowsnothimself,
theonethatseeksnothappiness,
notriches,wealth,norhealth.

Flyingpastthewords,we
arrivedatapalacedoor
IbeggedtheFiretotakemehome,
Ihadfiguredoutmyflaw.

"Mylackofpassionburnsdesire,
alongingsostrong,
andforeverwhenIwaken,
Iwillsingmyselfthatsong:

TheFirecarriedme
forIknewnotmyself,
Ineverlookedforhappiness,
notriches,wealth,norhealth.

Andatthatpoint,theFireburned,
Ifoundmyselfatstrife,
Iputwaythepain,andwenttobed
tostraightenoutmylife.

12
MercyOnceShown
Idontknowhow,
andIdontknowwhy,
butIamnotthesame
manthatIoncewas.

Ionceshowedmercy
andbenevolence,
Iheldyouin
yourtimeofgrief.

ButnowIsigh,
Iletyouchoke,
Staydistantwithyou
Idonotblameyou.

DidIgowrong
becausewestopped?
Ordidwestop
whenIwentwrong?

Thispassingthought
willbesomuchmore.
Iwilltestthistheory.
Iwilllivethisstory.

13
ADialogueBetweenaCursdManandHisShade
CHORUS
Acursdmanoncewalkedalong
totryandrightallofhiswrongs.
Heturnedaroundtoglancebehind:
Hisenemysprangfromhismind.

CURSDMAN
Whatareyoudoinghere,today?
Idonotwanttoseeyourface.
Ibidyouleave,yougoaway
forInolongerhavemygrace.

HISSHADE
Iamyoursoul,yourshade,yourmind.
Iamyourdeath,youkeepmekind.
Iamhewhomyoutrytofind.
Iamyou,ourselvesintertwined.

CURSDMAN
Andifyouweretodieadeath?
Aknifeintoyourbackorside?
Forthistobeyourfinalbreath?
Wouldyouderide,ordeathdecide?

HISSHADE
Yourbladewouldpiercenotskin,norbone
yourbladewouldpiercemylovealone.

CURSDMAN
AreyoureallywhoIdisdain?
Perhapsalessonfrommypain?

HISSHADE
IamnotwhoyouthinkIam,
IknownothowIlooktoyou,
butknowitiswhoyoucondemn,
whoyoustruggletoloveanew.

CURSDMAN
Butwhywouldyoutakesuchaform?
Soastocausememoredistress?
Tellmenow!Ibidyouinform
whyImusttakethisfinaltest.

14
HISSHADE
Becauseyoucannotloveyourself.
Becauseyoumustlovemeforemost.

Ilikeitwhen,inyourshade,Idwell
Youmakethekindestofallhosts.

WhenIamcastbyyou,Ifeel
youleadmesafefromharm,toheal.

CHORUS
Theshadowtookasteptoofar,
Hefoundtheman,andchosetomar.
Theshadowtookasteptoofar,
markedbytheshadow,shadowsscar.

15
Imprisonment

TheGoldRimmedGlasses
Helpmeescape.
Afterallthistime,
Iholdsteady.
Helpmeescape
fromtheprisonforceduponme.

Helpmesee.
Blindwithrage,
Calmmedown.
Helpmesee
whatliesahead.

Helpmethink.
Forgetmythoughts
andfocus.
Helpmethinkabout
whatisneeded.

Helpmestay.
Stopshiveringfrom
thecoldthatnevercame.
Helpmestay
andbethebetterman.

Helpmekeep.
Thesmallestwhisper
insidemyhead.
Helpmekeep
awayfromharm.

Helpmecool.
Heattoohot
tobear.
Helpmecool
mymindfromfear.

Helpmesleep.
Thedayisdone,
Thecowscamehome.
Helpmesleep
awaymymemories.

16
Helpmeremain.
Afterallthistime,
Iholdregrets.
Helpmeremain
inthisprisonforceduponme.

17
Justice
Neerimagineaday
whereescapeisnotpossible.
Foreverydaytheshackles
arereleased.
Yourguard,however,
Staysclose,
Vigilant,
Notwantingtolose
hisdearestfriend.

Neerimagineaday
whereyoucannotwalkfree,
sidebysidewith
theguardthat
oncekeptyou.

Neerimagineaday
wherethemirrorsvoice
isnotyourown.
Whereashadowspath
isfollowedbyyours.

Imagineaday
wherefreedomofmind
canbebrought
byjustice.

18
Confused
Theproblemsofothersbubblearoundthem,
Asthesleepyexpressionsofunknownanddisconcernawaitthelightoflove,
Whileinsomniakeepsvictimsawaketosufferendlesstorment.

Wadetowherenonesleep,
andallowyourselftosubmergeinthedark,
thelonely,thecold,thetired.
Paintowashouttheconfused.

Thequestionsareoutthere,andneedtobeanswered.
Violencewillnotanswerthequestiononlysilencetheasker
Butwhoasksthequestions?

Itappearstobeme,Buttheycannotsee.
Forthemitstobecompletelyfree:
Torefusetolookinside.

19
TheTemptation
TheDevilmayansweryourquestions,
Butyourangelasksofyou
tofindtheanswersforyourself.

Thoughtishard
Temptationissweet,
butnorewards?

Putyourmindthough
turmoilandtrouble
forsweetsuccess.

Yearsdowntheline,
Whathasitbrought?
Life.

20
Liberty,orlackthereof
Riddlesandconfusions,
arejustlaughsandfun
untilyourealizethat
therearemorethanone.

Mylifewasoncefree,
evenmorefreethanyours
andthenIsawone
ofmygreatestflaws.

Wildlylaughingaway
atthestressonmyface
thepainthatitscaused
Imlosingtherace.

Well,cantyouseenow?
ThesufferingImustlive?
Whycantyoustopnow?
Itstheleastyoucouldgive.

Alas,youdontstop
anditsneverthesame,
Illneverbefree
forcedtoplayinthisgame.

Thesufferinglingers,
Yearafteryear
PartofMedies,
Tearaftertear.

21
NotToday
Nothere,notnow,
andnottoday
Iamtheconscious,
youlldoasIsay.

Thefalsehopepresented
bymyinnermind
Iopenmyeyes,
butIvebeeneverblind.

Longingtosee,
Lustingtoknow
ofcurtainpullsandstrings
thathidehindtheshow.

Sundropsbegin
tofallonmyface,
soIhideinmyhome,
mysanctuary,thisplace.

IhidefromtheMoon,
andIhidefromtheSun
TheDayisamongstus
Nightcantbeundone.

andasIlaughinaway
thatwilllockmeaway,
allIcansayis:

NotToday

22
Ascendancy
O,allthethings
ThattheAscendanceallows,
ThefreedomIreceive:

Tobreatheanyair,
Todrinkanywater,
Toeatanybread.

ThepleasuresofFreeWill
BoundbytheGovernment,
Thatwishesthebest

AndtheAscendancy
Thatworksonlyforitself.
Theselfishanimal.

Youllfinditsnothingmore,
Ananimal,abeast.
Amindlessfool.

23
BlessedWithThisCurse
Blessedwiththiscurse
oflivingwithoutsight,
AtleastIamsaved
fromtheevilofnight.

Closeyoureyes,
whatdoyousee?
IseeDarknessbeingDarkness,
encompassingme.

Butwhatofthelust
toseethingsinfull?
Incolourandbeauty,
doesthatmakemeafool?

IknowIdbehurt,
butvisionsanddreams?
ThethingsthatIlong
toholdtogethermydreams

24
TheStreetLampsRevenge
Inaworldofmyown,wheredarknessroams,
andtheAscendancyreignssupreme,
Iwalkthroughadoor,andfindnomore
thantheworldofmywildestofdreams.

Iseeatown,notmyown,butneverwouldI,oh!HowIvegrown!
Oh,howIhavechanged.
You,saviour,kingofall,youputmedowntomakeyourselftall!
Whathaveyouarranged?

Andinthecastle,atdayoratnight.Youhideintheshadowstogivemeafright.
Oh,howyouhavenotchanged.
You,myliege,Iamservanttoyou.Tellmesomelies,notwhatistrue,
andtellmewhatyouhavearranged.

Mytownishitbyanaturaldisaster,Ifleefrommytown,fasterandfaster.
Irunbutyoustopme,O,Ascendancy!
Leaveme,Leavemealone!Leavemetobeonmyown!
Leaveme,andletmebe.

Iarrive,snailspace,outsidethenewtown,butabovemyeyes,appearsafrown.
DoIwantthis?Ortolivewithouthome?
Myoldtown,thoughbroken,remainsinmymind,Ibrokeit,butalways,Ivebeensokind.
DoIwantthis?Ortoliveonmyown?

25
Peace

TheSilenceReturns
TearingofVelcroasthepaperistorn.
Allthatisleftofthose,forgotten.
Closeyoureyesandliveinthemoment.
Outofthesilence:sharp,butwelcome,
Trumpetsareheard,afanfareisplayed.
TheSilenceReturns.

TheLightsdimlowasthenexttunestarts.
Slowandgentle,sadfillinguswithjoy.
Thefavouriteofmany,therecordspins.
Brokenquality,butaudible,
Watertracesalong,and
TheSilenceReturns.

Themusicswells,andthelightssighwithradiance.
Butmytirednesstriumphs,
Myeyesyearntoclose.
Themusicislively,
thereisreasontodance.
ButIsleep,and
TheSilenceReturns,tostay.

26
Grace
Thechurchburnsdown.
Notaccidentnorarson,
Leftalonetoburn
intheruinsofitself.

Ablackveildwoman
standstheretowatch.
Themiseryburning
onthedreamsofothers.

Rainfalls,
andfeedsthefire
Aswaterstreams
downherface.

TheShadesclimbthewalls,
Theirshadows,thoughblack,
showthroughthefire,
andthroughtheveil.

27
TheOldWaterways
Theshedbythemill,
Churningwater,notwheat,
Standsatitsgrave,still.
Waitingforpeopletomeet.

Abandonedonbirth,
Theownersnotproud.
Fromthedoortothehearth,
Themillwastooloud.

Makingamends,
Workinglikemen,
Continuingtrends,
Oftheownersagain.

Waitedsolong,
Nowturnedtoash.
Thelittleshedssong
Waslongingtocrash.

28
AstheDewSettles
Asthedewsettlesonthegrass
aroundthestairsleadingdown
tothesand.
Silencebreakswiththewaves
andthefirststepleaves
itsmark.

Onefootfollowstheother,
asyourmindwanders
freshwithseaair.
Footprintsandshadows
returntotheirshapelessform
asyoumoveon.

Radianceexplodes.
Therisingsunbreaksthedark
asthebirdsbreakthesilence.
Turnaround,butdontmoveback:
Moveforward,Continueon,
andgogetrest.

29
StepOver
Takeonelastlookattherain
asyouclutchyourumbrella.
Findingyourwayhome.

StepovertheThreshold
Youcanneverreturn
Youcannevergoback.

Inside,youstare,outthewindow,
attherain
YounoticetheBeauty.

Joyfillsyouas
theheavyrain
fallsonthegroundoutside.

Youstareforawhile
tillyoucantakeitnomore
Youruntothedoor.

CrossingtheThreshold,
nothingelsechanges,
foryouarenowyournewself.

Standintherain.
Thetasteonyourtongue.
TheBeautyinyourheart.

Therewouldbenoreturn
evenifyouwantedit.

30
TheRagingStorm
Thewindblewstrongandloud
Notfeebleandfickleasonceithad,
andcarriedwithitashroud
ofivyandlavender
onacloudofmorosityandanger,rageandgrief.

Thewindsungitstune
notonthefluteofitspreviousself,
butinsteadonamagnificentbassoon
ofshiningsilver
likethemoonsstronghealth.

Thewindstune,sweetandslow
forcedtearsfromthosenearby,
andasthewindceasedtobellow
andthestormsubsided
Ididknowthatshewouldcry,

andatthatwasmytimetodie.

31
Beauty
Imaginethesettingsun
andpictureitsbrilliance,
ThisisanechoofBeauty.

ButIhaveseen
thefaceofBeauty,
Pleaseknowthatnothingcompares.

Beautyisthat
butfragiletoo,
andbrokenwithbetrayaloftrust.

ThissphereofradiantBeauty,
ofunimaginablecolours,
growsdamperanddullereachday.

Andasmysunsets,
mycolours,few,fade
IamgladthatIwitnessed

Beauty

32
Hatred

Quiver
Asneerofdistaste,
Amoanofdisgust.
TheEndisalmostamongus.

LettheEyefrombeyond
Starethroughthedark,
Thefire,theragetheglory.

Letboredomremain
Likecattle,likesheep.
TheEyeblinkstothedark.

Thestormlingerson,
Neverceasingtostop
Allowingsometoescape.

Timehasnowchanged,
Thestormhaslongdied.
Refuseandrubble
Remaininitswake.

33
HatehasaName
Yourabidhound,
Nightowl,you!
Icannotcontainmyrage,
mygrief,
asyouractionshurtmorethanyourself.

Iamamongstthosewhoareinjured
byyourhand
Whenyouonlylusted
tohurtyourself,
Yousavagelion.

Bitingmylip,
Resistingtheurge
totellyouthatyourewrong.
Ikeepmymouthclosed,
andIhelpyouthrough.

Purehateclenchesmyfist,
asnailmeetsskin,
Iamtornapart.
PainoverPaincauses
morePainoverPain.

Whatmakesusdifferent?
Youhumourmeso.
Mypainsareaction
againstyourselfhate.
Yourwilltoescape.

Youaskmetodo
whatcannotbedone,
andIdomybest.
Icanstopit
ifyoutrustyourself.

Itrytopretend
thesefeelingsarentwelcome.
Rageisemotion,
Emotionisgood,
ButIstillwishyoudstop.

Stopthehurt,
Stopthelies,
Stopthepain,
Stopyourself
fromgoingtoofar.
34
HabitualMisery
Fallintoahabit
ofeuphoriaandbliss
andwatchthosearoundyou
itsyouthattheymiss.
Youvegonefromthisworld,
yetyourcorpselivesbehind
marred,burnt,andscarred,
andlackingamind.

Asighofdesire
asthebagsroundmyeyes
forcemetoaworldof
illusionsandlies.

Mydreamslingeron,
Oh,thehappiestplace,
wheretruepeaceofmind
iswinningtherace.

Butalldreamsmustend,
withthesunrise,
yourlackofsoulshows
throughthetearsinyoureyes.

35
Spite
Inspite,
heliveshislife.
"Imliving!Whatareyougoingtodoaboutit?!"

Livesinthemoment
orsohebelieves
hesemptyontheinside.

HedoesntuseMind:
nothoughtoremotion.
Hedoesntwantthehurt.

Intoxicantsstopallthought,
butconsciousnessrollsback
tobeendedsomeotherway.

Sleep.
Everlastingsleep.
Hedoesntwanttoawaken
totheworldoftruth.

36
Mistaken
Heletsoutasigh
asIstareinhiseye
atthemanthathewantedtobe.
Hedoesntletitshow,
doesntwantpeopletoknow
aboutthemanthathewantedtobe.

Aburningdesire,
asbrightasafire
arehiswishestochangetheworld.
Badmoralsandlies,
arethingshedespises
whenheplanstochangetheworld.

Heloathestobe
whatpeoplewanttosee
ashecrieshimselftosleep.
Thesummerbreezeblows
ashislittleworldcloses,
ashecrieshimselftosleep.

37
Plan
Thesmallestofsmiles
Appearsonhisface
Asthemostsinisterofplots
Fallintoplace.

Endlessgriefandharm,
Awayheplanstosend.
Eternaldistasteanddisgust,
Coulditeverend?

Clarityfades,Detailblurs,
Asheawakensfromhisdream.
Peaceandcalmensue,
Harmtornfromitsseam

38
AVoiceINeverHear
AvoiceIneverhear,
itsminebutnotmyown.
Ihear,andshrinkwithfear,
Bloodboilstothebone.

Avoiceofpleadingtear
comesoutinsubtlemoan,
butshewouldnotadhere,
shecouldnothaveknown.

Asaresponsehitmyear
andinanausteretone
Answeredwithasneer
Shehadthrownthefinalstone.

39
Chide
GiveupyourPride,
Itsnotworththis
Youshouldhavebeendenied.

GiveupyourPride
andacceptbliss
learntoabide.

GiveupyourPride
andwalkamiss
keepwalking,tearyeyed.

GiveupyourPride,
butdontdismiss
decidetolookinside.

40

Sonnets

TheDwelling
Rageatasight
tobeusedagain
inatimetocome.
Quietlyburning
scareawaymen,
starttorun.
Redflamesrise
andbegintodie.

Coolwinds
scatterashes.
Theevil
isdead
Replacedwithblossom
tobeforgotten.

41
SonnetII
Nolackoflightcanbrightenaday,
Nolackoflightcanfoildecay.
Seewhatisthere
Thatyourewillingtoshare.
Andawakenyourselftothenewworld.
Rememberwhatyousee,
Elseyoushallpaythefee.
Awakenyourselftothenewworld.

Summerhaspassed
Andwinterhaspassed,
Thesettingsunsdisappeared.
Thebuildingsareblue,
Foryouarebluetoo.
Allbecauseyouhadnotpulledthrough.

42
IAmaSonnet
Yourfaceandyourgrace,
Theyputmeatpeace.
Didyounotknow
Thatlovesnotforlease?
Mymindisonyou
Whenmyeyesarenot,
Butthismademequestion
ThatwhichIhavegot.

Idonotwantthis.
Whycantthisbeplain?
Imuststopthis
Lestitbemybane.
WhatIwant,Ihad
BeforeIwentmad.

43
Night'sRevenge
Idugmyclawsintoher
toneverlethergo,
butbeforeIevendid,
Herself,toI,didshow.
IretractedthembecauseIknew
shewasntrightforme.
Myclawsleftscratches,scars,andcuts
Myclawsleftmetoflee.

Thoughsomuchtimehaspassed,
Ifeelguiltforallthepain.
Itellmyself,thoughIknowitfalse,
itshallneverhappenagain.
Ibadeher,once,goodbye.
Herfirstandlastgoodbye.

44
SheHidesAway
Donotholdmyhearttoyours
Likepoison,shedothtaste.
Nay,donotholdmyhearttoyours
Donottrustthisface.
Watchinthemilkthatyoumightdrink,
Thehoneyyoumayeat:
ForIwilldriveyoutoyourbrink,
Iwillsealyourfate.

O,pleaselovemygentleheart,
Shelongsforsomeonenew.
O,pleaselovemydarlingheart,
Myheartwillnotharmyou
Becausemyheart,shehidesaway
Trevealherselfsomeotherday.

45
SonnetVI:O,dearest
O,dearest,blackenedheart:
deathssweet,warmembrace.
IfonlyIcouldmeetmydeath
andgazeintoherface.
Thewarmyheartanddeathwouldmake
wouldleave,hislove,tobleed.
Hislove,mylove,Ithencouldtake,
foronthislove,Ifeed.
Alas,nolovehasfoundmychest,
myshadow,normysoul.
Tofindmydeathwouldfeedmebest,
andhelpmereachhisgoal.
O,dearest,blackenedheart
heandmydeathshallpart.

46
MySweetHeartsFare
Hereyesaresealedwithnylonthread.
Shesewedthemupherself.
Hermindisfilledwexistentialdread:
Thehighpointofherwealth.
Sheknowsthatshedoesnotloveme,
Butsheturnstheothercheek.
Theeffortsheentails
Willleavemefeelingweak.
Hereyeshaveforcedthethreadstobreak,but
Herlipsstayevershut.
Hergentlehands,eerharsherthan
Thewristssheusedtocut.
Herlipstellmetostay
Whilehereyessendmeaway.

47
Farewell,Fear
Ineednotknowyourhearttoday.
Tomorrowwillsuffice.
MyheartcanwaittilfearIslay,
Torture,melt,andice.
Ifanyfear,afterthat,lives,
Ishallcommendherso,
Thentieheruponelastbreathgive,
Todrowninwatersflow.
Whensheisgone,Ishallfindyou
IfeerIhavethetime.
Ourheartswillmeet:alovesonew,
Suchlovewillevershine.
Yourheartwillputmyhearttopeace.
Yourheartwilllovemyhearttopeace.

48
FragilityComesAtaCost
Mydear,thylove:abright,warmflame,
tooclosetowhichIstand.
Thylove,sodear,shallnevermaim
mewhilstIholdthyfragilehand.
Mylove,thineeyesafleetingglance
whichleavesmelongingbreath.
Thylips,mylove,havemeentranced
whichsurelyendsindeath.

Butherskinistoopureandfair
forthisloverseyes.
Illspeaknotofherlipsandhair,
seenthroughmydisguise.
ThefeelingsIcannotexpress
willmakeherthinkofmeless.

49
Foundation
Dearestlove,Isearchforyou,
ThoughIknowyourface.
Mylove,wrappedupinlace,
Hasbeenbornanew.
Allthatmyheartsbeenthrough,
Itsbeenthroughforthischase
Myfoundationandbase,
Myonlylove,eertrue.

Dearestlove,Ihavelostyou,
Neertofindagain.
ButallmyeffortsallIdo
Istostopthepain.
Donotfret,mylovelydear,
Forweshallmeetwhereairmeetsair.

50
DownMySpine
Yourfaceusedtobeanadmirablething,
asighttobeholdwhenceeverythingelse
fledfrommysightI,toit,didcling,
Idreamtofyourface,andthennothingelse.
LaswhenIwouldwake,Idfindyounotthere:
Youwouldnotexistforme.
LaswhenIwouldwake,Idfindtruemyfears:
Iamforeverfree.

Ithoughtyouweregonewhenyoustoppedbeingmine,
UntilIfoundyoubreathingstilldownmyspine.
Yourfacecreepsfromcorridorsandcrowdedstreets,
Iwonderhowoftenitisoureyesmeet.
Iwonderstillmore,howmanytimes
oureyesdonotmeet,stillyoustaredownmyspine.

51
Love

IllusionofTime
Iffatehadgivenus
anotheryearortwo,
wecouldvechangedtheworld
Itcouldvebeenours.
Wecouldhavemadenewsongs,
Newpoems,newprayers.

Iffatehadgivenus
anothermonthortwo,
wecouldvetalkedoflove
andbeenhappyforawhile.
Wecouldhavesungoldsongs,
oldpoems,oldprayers.

Iffatehadgivenus
anotherdayortwo,
wecouldvetalkedoflife
offearsandgoals.
Wecouldhavelivedourdreams,
withnotimeforsongs.

Iffatehadgivenus
anotherminuteortwo,
Icouldvetoldyouthatyoumean
theworldtome.
Wecouldhavelaughedandcried
aboutillusionoftime.

52
Trust
Youalwaysspeak
butyouneversayaword.
Youmoveyourlips
butdonotwanttobeheard.
Youalwayslaugh
butyounevershedatear.
Youhavesomanysecrets
butnoneyouwishtoshare.

Imadeamistake,
andIlostyourtrust.
IfIcangetitback
inanyway,thenImust.
Youmeanmoretome
thenyoulleverknow.
EverytimethatItellyou,
youthinkImputtingonashow.

YouknowthatIcare,
Iwantnothingbutgood.
Youtellmenothing,
dontyouthinkthatyoushould?
Isthissomethingthatyou
wantmetoknow?
Orwouldyouratherletthecurrent
takeyouwithitsflow?

Forgetaboutme,
thisgamesaboutyou.
Findapersonyoutrust,
whosthatperson?Who?
Tellthemeverything,
tellthemsecretsandtruth.
Livelifetoitsfullest
whilewerestillinyouth.

Theresoneinyourcircle
thatrefusestobetray.
Keepthemclose
Theyreheretostay.

Donthurtyourself
fortheblundersofothers.
Saveyourself
withthehelpofyourbrothers.

53
Atlas
IfonlyIcouldtaketheweightoffyourshoulder
Itwouldstrengthenyourstride,
Itwouldmakeyoumuchbolder.
Buthidewayyourpride,
yourshame,andyourtears
holdbackalldeath,holdbackyourfears.

IfonlyIcouldgivewordsaboutlife
ofencouragement,belief
ofpeace,againststrife.
Ofsuffering,andgrief,
Shameandmiseryunknown,
asyoulieindiscomfort,dreamingofhome

IfonlyIcouldtakethebigthingsaway
tofillinyourshoes,
Whatthen,wouldyousay?
Sotakecharge,andchoose,
myhelpseemssosmall.
Buildupanarmy,andmakeourhelptall.

IfonlyIcouldhelpyoudowhatyoumust
accomplishyourlabors,
andstrengthenyourtrust.
So,helpoutyourneighbors
Helpthoseinyourstreet,
Diomedeshorseswillseemlikenogreatfeat.

IfonlyIcouldhelpyouliveyourdreams,
sewyourcloth,
repairyourseams
Butyoumustdodgetheswath,
livethelifethatyouwant
dontgiveintocrueltyofothers,ortaunt.

GodSpeed.

54
DoYouNeedMeToStay?
Doyouneedmetostaybyyourside?
Protectyoufromthingsinyourwardrobe,orunderyourbed?
Doyouneedmetostaybyyourside?
Tothrustyouasideatthesightoftheoncomingtrain?
Tojumpintothepathoftherocksandthestones?
Doyouneedmetostaybyyourside?
Saveyoufromevil?

Doyouneedmetohidefromyoursight?
Allowyoutofacethisworldonyourown?
Doyouneedmetohidefromyoursight?
Toremainatadistancewhileyoudodgethetrain?
Toholdbacktearsasyoutrycatchingthestones?
Doyouneedmeatall?

55
Doomed
Theimperfectionsyoucansee
meannothingwhatsoeertome.
Iseebeauty,strength,andpride,
Youseereasontorunandhide.

Cryinsecret,Iwilltoo.
Togetherwewillpullyouthrough.
Burnswillhealandscarswillfade,
Togetherwellstopthattearcascade.

Iffatedecreesitnottobe,
itappearsyousoonshallpart.
Butstaywithme,againstdestiny
andweshallmakeastart.

Alastoday,DidoIplay,
withherswordinherhand
butIshallnotrunaway
whenwemeetinHadesland.

InsteadIshallembrace
Mydeathwasnotyourfault.
Whileinmyface,thisbarrenplace,
YourtrueselfIexalt.

56
Unconditional
Iwillbewithyou
Nomatterwhereyougo,
Orwhatyoudo.

Iwillsupport,andaid,
Andbewithyou
Throughlightandshade.

Untiltheday
Whenmylightfades
Donotfeeldismay

ForIwillbe,
Ineveryway,
Withyou,see?

Iwillbeeachdropofsun,
Iwillbeeachbrillianttree,
Iwillbewithnature,one.

57
AddictioninReturn
Youfillmewiththejoy
ThatIveoftenfeltwithhate,
Andonlytrulyfeltwithoneother.

Youmakemymehappierthan
Thebrokenpastofmen
Wholiveloveless,unwillingly.

Youmaketimeslowandspeed
Toneitheryourwillnormyown.
Momentsseemtolastlifetimes.

Addictionsimplified,
Butonethatshows
addictioninreturn.

58
I'veLostYou
Therewasatime,
Iwasconfused.
Butnowthattimehaspassed.

Isthismyfault?
Youveleftmebruised,
Ourtimeleftustoofast.

Therewasatime,
Youwereamused
Withpouringoutyourheart.

Iofferedmyself,
Butyourefused
Myattempttorestart.

59
TheTaleofTrampandThing
Amanoncestrivedfordesolation,
Confrontedbyagreattemptation
oflackoftrouble,offrustration.
Wantingso,helefthisnation.

Themanenjoyedhiscompany,
andmetafairyoungmaiden.
QuothsheMayItheeaccompany?
Butawayhewalkedinisolation.

Themaidenfollowedatadistance,
themansoonnoticed,anddidquestion:
"Wherefarestheenow,tokeepmystance,
thatyoumightfollowmyprogression?

Themancontinues,hearingnoreply,
Butthemaiden,fairbutsly,
doesnaught,notevenastodeny.
Meanwhilethemanturnsablindeye.

Inconfrontingmaiden,appearsafrown
ashiswallsstarttobreakdown.
Maidenwaitinginhergown
doesnotknowoflossoftown.

Newsoftown,arrivedbypost,
reachedmanandmaiden,onthecoast.
5yearspassed,10yearsmost.
Allleftofcityisnowaghost.

60
ThePolesofSeason
Lettersfromapostmanread:
Hasyourheartbeenfilledwithdread?
Lovelydayonwhichtowed.
Haveyouseenwhatliesahead?

Onthisday,doangelsfly
Angelsofdeathwatchnearby.
Ofsummerandspring,Idodecry,
Afterallweareborntodie.

Valueinallgoodbread,
Timehascometogotobed.
Valiancyhasleftyoufed,
Timehasleftandwishedyoudead.

Everythinghasbecomedry,
Evennow,withinmysigh.
Evermorebeautyinthesky,
Endhascome,Ibidgoodbye.

61
TigersintheSnow
Willyouleavemeinthenight
ifIfallasleep?
Whiletheshadesofthedeadcover
anylightWillyoucreep?
'Cosyou'veleftmebefore,
Butcameformore.
Thistimejustleavemealone.

Youfillmewithalonging
ofoneotherthanyou.
Fillmewithregretandleave
mymoralsallaskew.
Pleasedontlingeranymore,
Retreattomybedroomdoor,
Andjustleavemealone.

Leavemeallalone,
toponderonmyown.
Tosob,andcry,andmoan
overthepaindowntothebone.
ThesunarisesandIfear
Thatyouwillstillbewaitinghere.
Justleavemealone.

62
TheColdBurnsMe
Whathappenswhenthesungoesaway?
Whathappenswhenthestarsrefusetoshine?
Whathappenswhennightturnsintoday?
Willyoustillbemine?

Howcanthelookonyourface
matchmyheartsopurely?
Whatreasoncouldyouembrace
whenIloveyousodearly?

Howcanthecoldburninthesummersun?
Howcanyouemploymewithsuchease?
Howcanyouthrowawayallexcitementandfun
whenItrymybesttoappease?

Howcanyourveryscent
intoxicatemefully,
makemesocontent,
makemeloveendlessly?

Nowmyhearthasbeen
eclipsdbythesun,
andallthosewhohaveseen
yourloveareforcedtorun.

Nowthatthestarsshinebrighter
thanthelightofmylove,
andmyheartisfullofmyfear,
shallIascendabove?

63
Mia.
IonceknewayoungwomannamedMia.
Stoneswerethrownatherwindow,andsheansweredeachcall
withawarmsmile,andawarmerembrace.

IonceknewayoungwomannamedMia.
Shenoticednottheminisculefissuresforminginherglassheart
andcarriedonwithwarmthandpassion.

IonceknewayoungwomannamedMia.
Shechosetoignorethecracksgrowinginherwindow,
claimingtheywerenotworthherworry.

ThereoncewasayoungwomannamedMia.
Shelayonherbed,bloodstreamingfromherface
astheshatteredwindowcoverseveryinchofherbeing.

IoncemetayoungwomannamedMia.
Shemetmeandusedmeasawindowframe
torebuildherlife.

IonceknewayoungwomannamedMia.
Stoneswerethrownthroughheremptyframe,andsheglared
withacoldgrimace,andacolderheart.

ThereoncewasayoungwomannamedMia.
Shehadnoframetouse,nopassionstolove.
Shehadnotherself,norfriends,norevenfamily.

IonceknewayoungwomannamedMia.
Shewasunnoticed,unappreciated,andfragile.
Shewasglass.

ThereoncewasayoungwomannamedMia.

64
TheGarden
Therundownsanatorium
Calls,withrustedgate.
Calling,calling,bidmecome
Iamalreadylate.

Thmanatthesanatorium
Makesmelosemyhead
Toallthethingsheyelledatme,some
BelieveIsaid:

Yourwearinessdiscomfortsme,
Butsoonyoushallbegone,
Andwhileyourethere,Ifearfully
HopethatIamwrong.

Istarethroughthemangledbars,
Iron,wrought,withrust.
Istarethroughmyinternalscars
Causdbyyourlust.

Themanopensthelonelygate,
Welcomesme:mynewhome
Hiseyesaretellingmetowait
Butthereswarmthinhistone.

Hiseyesarefracturedpastrepair,
Passinghispastthegate.
Ifeelnofear,myfateIfear
Isealmyfear,myfate.

Iwalkpasttheshatteredeyes,
Shatteredwindows,crippledeaves.
Wary,wearyofmorelies.
Waryofmorethieves.

Iplacemyhanduponthewall
Weathered,dull,andsad.
Throughthecreamshade,Ihearthecalls
Ofpeoplewhoaremad.

Myfingersrunbothoerandthrough
Thegaps,fissures,andcracks.
Theeaveswereonceavibrantblue,
Butcolournowtheylack.

Atorturedscream,ascreech,asigh
Ihear,anditdoesseem
65
Tocomefrombehindmeawry,
Thebuildingseemstoteem.

Aclattringthud,Ihearatlast
Thegate,andtoo,itsman,
Whohurries,likethegate,asfast,
Bothclosingwithabang.

Ilookonceagainthroughthebars,
Butontheotherside.
Ilookandseethecars,thestars,
Twinklingwithpride.

IlookupontheAutumntree,
MyBough,myTrunk,myLeaf.
Falling,falling,cantyousee
thestrugglesofmygrief?

Imtakentothebuildingnow,
Istrugglethroughthedoor.
IsaygoodbyetoLeafandBough
Whovefallenonthefloor.

Theinhabitantsarequietnow.
Waiting,expectant.
Themanleadsmeawayhevows
Mesafe,butinarant.

Heopensmyroomsentranceway,
Unveilingparadise.
Ifyouneedme,Ihearhimsay,
Acallwillsuffice.

MyfirstDayinthegardenblurs
herselfwithalltherest.
Irecallambrosia,or
Otherfoodthatwasblessed.

MysecondDay,justlikehertwin
Hidesherselfaway
AsblisswasblisstillBlissfulcame
Tokeepmyjoyatbay.

Shecalledmyname,sosoft,sosweet,
Iscarcelycaughtaglimpse,
Whenthemancalled,histoneeffete
Thegardengentlyblinked.

66
Thescreamingvoicescalloutof
Theclosetsofmymind,
Theskeletonswaltzawaylove
Andleavetheirvictimblind.

Thescreamingdies,theechoesfade.
Themanleavesmeagain,
Findinganothertotirade
Someotherslovetogain.

Buthashehurtmesomuchthat
Icannotshowhimlove?
Surelyhe,mysaviour,at
Timeswouldthinkthereof?

Hehasascentlikethesweetest
WinesfoundontheEarth.
IbreathehimandIbreathedeepest,
Deepestsincemybirth.

Butmyconcernsweresquanderedby
Adistractionofsorts
Blissful,myBlissful:dear,butsly
Icatchhereyedivorce.

Somuchamorphouslonging
Andsorrowingoodbye.
Moresowhenitsnotsaid,prolonging
TillIdie.

Envyiscomposed,andbred
OfthemanJealousy
Willfeedyoubreadandleaveyoufed
Lovewillbeyourenemy.

Evennow,asIawake,
Neertosleepagain:
Vicissitudecanmakeorbreak
Yousufferinginpain.

Iclimbbackthroughtheclosetdoor,
Towardsthewaitingman.
IhaveleftBlissfulonetimemore
AndIcrywhileIcan.

Irecessthroughmyroomssoledoor
Andfoundmyselfinbliss
Andinfrontoftheragingshore.
67
Roar,crash,breakingamiss

FromthehillonwhichIstood
Isawthegarden,all
Isawthesea,thecliff,thewood,
Nevertoceasenowalls.

Thewoodsweretotheright,andall
thetreeswerespreadaround,
andthoughthetreeswereverytall,
theirtrunkswerefirmaground.

Andtotheleft,agreatblackpit
Withgoldlitteredabove.
Iheardthesoundofatwigsplit
Andknewitwasmylove.

Iturned,Isawasmile,andthen
Atouchofherskin,
AndIknewtrueblissonceagain
KnewBlissfulonceagain.

Dayswentpast,andweekswentpast
AndBlissfulwasmylove,
Timewentpast,wentpastsofast,
Andleftmeinarush.

Imcalledbackthroughtheclosetdoor
Butitbreaksmyhearttoleave
ButtoBlissful,myloveIswore,
Andherlove,Ibelieve.

Iwalkthroughthedoor,boldasbrass,
Andtemperedlikeabull.
IsaytothemanAlas,
Icannotstay,youfool!

Iturn,turninananger
Andcrashthroughthedoor.
Icallouthername,buthearnoanswer,
Nosign,notanymore.

Ilookaroundtheroom:
Aconcretesquare:abed,
Amirror,androseinbloom.
Islowlyfall,withdread.

Iknowhowthishashappend,
68
Mysoulbledandbled,
Andnowmysoulisblackend,
Lostalltracesofred.

Icrawltothemirror
Andpullmyselfup,
Ilookatthefigure
Teardropsaway,Irub.

ThefigureismewithLeafandBough,
Notmehereandnow.
MebeforeBlissful,beforemyvows.
Beforeweightonmybrow.

Ihavelefttheman.Heisgone.
Thescreamswereinmyhead.
IlovedBlissful.Nowsheisgone.
Ifalltotheground,

69
IgnorantisBliss:AppendixtotheGarden
While,today,greyskiesandtears
thatfalldownfromabove,
Ireflectnowonallyourfears,
youraffectionsandlove.

HowIenvyyourignorance,
MyBliss,myworld,mydear
andthoughthismakesnodifference,
theproblemsveryclear:

IfLove,onherdeathbeddothlie,
shouldspareathoughtforme,
ifsheweresweetandignorant,
shewoulddiehappily.

IfIwereignoranttoBliss,
andignoranttoLove,
who,then,wouldIpaintomiss,
andwhothenwouldIgrieve?

ButifIknewnotTemptation,
instead,knewonlyBliss,
wouldIstilldesirecessation,
wouldIstillwantthis?

IfIwereignoranttoloss
oflove,andpain,anddeath,
wouldIbehappybecause
Iknewnotyoursweetbreath?

Oh,ifonlyIwereignorant,
asignorantasBliss.
IfonlyIwereignorant,
asignorantasBliss.

DanceofDeathandLoveandKing
Deathplain,simpleDeath,
IhavenotknownThytiresomesting,
elseforLove,andthosestillloved
andthosewhovebecomeKing.

DeathmyDeath,shadeofmysoul.
holdmeinThinearms.
lestItakeupminegainstYou,
myLovemyLove,staycalm

forHehasjoinedthedancetoday,
70
dancingonHisown.
DeathandLoveshowpityas
theywaltzaroundHisthrone.

LovehasnoloveforHe,theKing,
afterhowHetreatedher,
andDeathtoohasavividhate
fromwhentheywouldconfer.

YetHe,theKing,stealsglancesat
thechaironwhichHesat
andDeathglowersattheKing
andatHisfeet,Thouspat.

Themirrorsonthewallsreflect
themadnesslyngwithin.
Butwhoismad?Whoismad
whentheyareallakin?

Surprised(no,shocked!)toseethemdance,
afterallthey(notthee)neercared
fordancing,orforromance
itswhatHesalwaysfeared.

Youclaim,Youclaim,itsnotmuchmore,
thatyou,Love,youloveMe.
Throughoutthedance,Istandalone,
watching,beingfree.

Whentheyallleave,themirrorsshow
notDeath,norLove,norKing,
butmyselfjoinedbynoother
thanshewhodarestosing.

Shesitsdowninthebrokenchair
thatoncebelongedtoHim,
andnowitisnaughtHis,norYours
Shetemptsmetothebrim.

Deathmyone,mylovelyDeath,
IhavenotknownThysolemnsting,
elseforLove,andthosestillloved
andHewhobecameKing.

YouandI,stillYouandI,
WhileDeathstandsfromafar.
YouandI,stillYouandI
attempttohealthescar.
71
Hope'sReturn
Hasthetime/comeatlast/fortheblossomingofspring?/
Tothinkofall/thewastedweeks/sincefatehadCupidbring/
mypathintohers./Themonthswecouldhavehad.

Ivecaughthereyes/afewtimes/butwasneverintroduced/
ifIhad/mether,think/ofallthefunwedhaveproduced./
PerhapsIshall/goforwardtoday.

Ishallmiss,/whenshesgone,/thefallinggraceofwinter,/
andIfear/myloveforher/willoverarchtheformer./
Thefuturelies/inHopesReturn.

72
Smiles
TheemptysmilesthatIgive
Whenyoulookmyway
ThelonesomemeansthroughwhichIlive
Everysingleday.
Thesethingsgivemehope.
Theyhelpmetocope.

Tosaymymindisnotonyou
Ineveryothermoment
Whatsalie,ifnottrue?
Ifanythingbutpotent?
Yougivemehope.
Youhelpmetocope.

ThefullestsmilesIcangive,
IllgivewhenImwithyou
IawaitthedayonwhichIlive
Andfallinlovewithyou.
Youalwaysgivemehope.
Youwillhelpmetocope.

WhenIamwithered,foreIaway,
Illthankyouforyourhelp.
Ishallthinkbacktoourbestdays
Whenyounursedmebacktohealth.
Youalwaysgavemehope.
Youhelpedmetocope.

73
TheRisingSunThatWillNotSet
IfIknowwhenadoomedmansings
Beforethesongisknown,
SurelyIcanunderstand
Whymyhearthasflown.

Ifthelovethatsinhiseyes
Isgoodenoughforher,
Andifsheshowsloveinreturn,
Theyshallnotfaceacurse.

Ifthejealousy,thatlies
Inthheartsoftheirfriends,
Provestometheirloveiswhole,
Theirlovewillneverend.

Iftheirloveisstrongenough
Tohealeachotherspain,
Surelyhopelyngintheirlove
Willkeeptheirgoodfriendssane.

Iknowthisfreemandoesnotsing
Asongoflossandgrief,
Andwithmyblessingoftheirlove,
Iwishthemalwayspeace.