Académique Documents
Professionnel Documents
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Page 2
USG Senate Meeting Devolves I nto
Shouting Match;
--- Police Asked to Inter ne
By Joe Filippazzo and Mike Billings
This past Tuesday, November 3 0 t h the peace with [the council]," said Wong, who two went inside. The room soon calmed and the
Undergraduate Student Government did every- recounts a long period of unfriendliness and meeting was called back to order. The two offi-
thing in its power to commit professional sui- difficulty with the rest of his Executive cers were seen talking to Interim
cide. With only one meeting left in this semes- Council. Administrative Director Sonia Guttman and
ter, the USG Senate met in SAC Ballroom B to Wong continued and addressed the mat- Director for Student Activities Alexandra
attend to its weekly business. When the meeting ter of stipends paid to USG members, which was Duggan; a conversation that seemed to be the
began, USG President Ja-red Wong introduced brought up with the "We Care about the only thing that kept Mr. Frants out of handcuffs.
the newly appointed Executive Vice President Students Resolution." The resolution, presented At the close of the meeting, most were
Jeffrey Kruszyna. Mr. Kruszyna, who has served and signed by President Wong, was a declara- left with an extremely bitter taste in their
as the president for the Stony Brook University tion that he would personally waive his stipend. mouth. Although the two and a half hour Senate
College Republicans, went through what he After much applause, the
describes as a "baptism of fire." resolution was then passed
After a new President Pro Tempore was around the room for
voted upon, President Wong was allotted sever- Senators to sign; and all
al minutes to address the body. What resulted reportedly did. Although
was the beginning of an unmitigated volley of some Executive Council
personal attacks and shameless finger pointing. members expressed their
Wong's speech was a response to a letter that disapproval of this action,
was authored and signed by all other members the issue of stipends became
of the Executive Council, with the exception of buried in the ensuing chaos.
Treasurer Rajat Gupta, that urged President After President
Wong to veto two bills that had been passed a Wong's speech, Senator
week prior by the Senate. The first bill entitled Vince Rasulo moved to
"Continuity of Government for Senate Act" impeach every Executive
(COGS) stipulated that venues including SAC Council member whose sig-.
Commuter Lounge, Railroad Platform South Side nature appeared on the let-
and Dunkin' Donuts be used as alternate meet- ter. This included Esam al-
ing places for Senate if Ballroom B was ever Shareffi, Ebony Omede,
unavailable. The second bill entitled Rosario Minier, Monique Howell, meeting had seen the election of a new President
"Participation, Attendance, Legitimacy, and Latoya Duncan, Virginia Morgan, Diana Acosta, Pro Tempore as well as the first action to elim-
Students Acts" (PALS) set stricter guidelines Sean Bartlett, and Romual Jean-Baptiste. At this inate stipends, most of the time was allocated to
for when meetings for USG bodies could take point the floor was opened to debate, of which unproductive, disorganized, and very personal
place. The signed letter from the Executive there was little. Instead, members of the Senate, mudslinging. When asked to comment about the
Council to President Wong called both pieces of Executive Council, and the gallery seized the evening's events, President Jared Wong stated,
legislation a "mockery of [the] organization and opportunity to publicly berate their con- "I didn't expect any of this." He went on to
lack sensibility, reason, and justification." stituents and to engage in fruitless fulmination. explain that he was extremely disappointed that
In response to the resolution, President The Senators and Executive Council members meetings were being held "in secrecy" and he
Wong approached the table where the majority basically took turns pointing fingers and simply felt that he had to defend himself at
of the Executive Council was seated, ripped the accused one another of not performing their job Tuesday's proceedings.
letter to shreds, and threw the pieces on the correctly. Several Executive Council members The Undergraduate Student Government
floor in front of them. According to the contents eventually became fed up and left the meeting. is the heart of student life and activities here at
of his speech, there were several points that Disregarding the remaining items on the agen- Stony Brook University and coordination and
earned President Wong's ire. For one thing, he da, anyone who stepped up to the podium was cooperation are the only way to keep the blood
felt the letter insinuated that the Executive allowed to vent their frustrations on any issue flowing. Our student government has begun to
Council views the Senate as an embarrassment to they chose, even if it was irot pertiinent to the fibrillate, though, and when the muscles of this
the organization, and that they made a mistake discussion at hand. One gallery member who heart stop working together, malfunction and
in passing these two bills. The greatest offense became very upset that he was not recognized to inevitably death are not far off.
to Wong, however, was that the letter was draft- speak was Chief Justice Vlad Frants of the USG
ed in secret in a closed meeting; a direct viola- Judiciary.
tion of New York State Open Meetings Law. Wong As the rapidly unraveling discussion
remarked that he was upset that he was given no broached the one-hour mark, Frants, who was
forewarning of the council's actions nor had scheduled to be next on the agenda, seized the
anyone made an.attempt to address him direct- podium microphone and began to deliver the
ly. "This whole semester I've tried to make speech that he felt he was entitled to give.
Immediately, Vice President Kruszyna urged
Frants to relinquish the microphone and wait
until he was recognized by the chair. As Chief
Justice Frants began speaking over Kruszyna's
.warnings, the Senate moved to have Mr. Frants
removed from the meeting. When it became
apparent that there was no Sergeant at Arms, the
body was at a loss as to how to proceed over
Frants' tirade. As the meeting devolved into
complete bedlam, several of those present called
the University Police."The Senate moved to have
a recess and Chief Justice Frants continued
with his speech, which called for President
Wong's impeachment due to his purported
delinquency in appointing students to the
empty seats of the Judiciary.
By the time the police arrived, Frants
had already finished his obloquy and was in the
process of exiting the building. At this point,
Senator Rich Hsu ran after Frants and called for
members of the gallery to grab him so he could-
n't get away. Luckily, no one reciprocated. As
two officers questioned Frants in the hall and
one stood by the entrance to the Ballroom to
keep students out of the open meeting, another
Page 3
America's Growing Health Cris: Idicvts!
By Sohail Ahmed
It was a British Newspaper, the Daily Bush and their primary concern was Iraq, not 638 votes were cast...so someone forgot to carry
Mirror, that asked a question on the minds of terrorism. So why did we invade Iraq? Because a decimal point-stop whining! All right, all
several billion people this past Wednesday: of the "easily persuaded" types...aka right, I'll admit I didn't hear many reports of
"How can 59,054,087 people be so DUMB?" Dumbasses. voter disenfranchisement this time around.
Once again proving himself a Divider, George W. I'd like to congratulate California. Not Then how could such a ridiculous thing happen?
Bush managed to turn out his religious base in only is the state not shaped like a square but Terrorist! Terrorist! Iraq! 9/11! That's how.
force in the key battleground state of Ohio and Californians demonstrated their brilliance at Repeat a few words enough times and some begin
several of the...less important states of the the polls in more than one fashion on Tuesday. to worry about being jumped or having their TVs
Midwest. Rather than gaining new Republican First of all, California, along with just about all stolen by terrorists. Then all a certain network
converts, it appears that the party solidified its the other states bordering oceans voted needs to do is follow it up with "experts" who
base while further strengthening the opposi- Democrat. Secondly, California's population bolster the belief that America is at war with a
tion-and by opposition I mean the rest of the voted 59% in favor of Proposition 71, which single enemy with a common cause-a fierce,
world. Exit polling in several heavily religious counters the Administrations decision to hatred of freedom. And which democratic coun-
precincts in the Midwest found that the primary restrict the use of federal money for embryonic try is the easiest target for terrorists? The one
i.ssue on the .minds of these stem cell research. that's farthest away!
voters was not Iraq...not edu- California, greatly in Iraqi Insurgent: "I hate freedom! I hate
cation. Thinking economy? debt and with a huge it! I kill it! Especially the US Constitution!"
Nope, keep going...stem cell helping of problems Yeah, that's it.
research... What?! Preventing as it is, passed the So according to this administration, we
scientific progress is appar- proposition to fund can help ourselves by helping Iraqis...by killing
ently more important in the stem cell research them. Don't understand? Don't worry. Let's
eyes of the religious Right-I- with $300 million for talk about Hummer owners, people who almost
didn't say religious people in each of the next 10 invariably happen to be idiots.
general--than avoiding world- years. Using my cal- I'm often surprised by the avid Hummer
wide warfare or further culator...that's .three enthusiasts on the Southern State or the Belt
diminishment of the US image. billion Dollars! Why Parkway. What can you say? "I've got spot-
While this was not is that a smart move? lights for headlights and they're always on!
characteristic of all As it stands now, no Look at me! My Hummer gets 10 miles to a gal-
Republican states, you'll get a- other state has come lon and I got me two flags and a Yellow ribbon on
real kick out, of the number- close to even propos- my bumper! Soldier!" While some are put in
f "»i'' 1i- - L- ----
one concern o0 iviuwesterners 'jL f + , n001 7d harm's way to secure America's fossil fuels for
ing • ti111 smssi Ve
and Southerners according to CNN exit polling- investment in a single field of scientific the coming century, other patriots are burning
terrorism! That's right. Fearing something they research. The University of California system away the spoils on the way to Stop N' Shop.
have not and likely will never experience from stands to benefit greatly as it will likely receive These decked-out off-road vehicles and all-ter-
foreigners, these voters decided to reinstate a a large portion of the funding. Of course, rain (and by all terrain I mean asphalt) vehicles
President who has unabashedly used the T-word researchers in other states are already being sporting battle-ready coatings like Bright Red
to inspire fear in the hearts of farmers and enticed in the hopes of bringing talent and name and Eggshell White may be the problem. With
ranchers across America. To believe Homeland power to the University system. Over the next the world's oil reserves and polar caps receding,
Security is to believe that no one is safe, espe- decade we will probably see California at the how about outlawing tank-like SUVs from the
cially if "No Onee" happens to be a resident of forefront of a wave of new discoveries and home highways? Unlike Europe where the sizes of
Kentucky-the bluegrass state, an inhabitant of to a booming biotech industry. But enough of cars seem to go down as the prices hit $5/gallon,
the frozen windswept plains of Alaska, or the Proposition 71--let's move on to trying to under- today I see more urban assault vehicles in
dangerously under protected mountainous areas stand how such a ridiculous thing as the last Bumblebee Yellow combat coating than ever
of Colorado, the Square Shaped State. How did election could have turned out the way it did. before. Help these Hummer owners. Let them
New Yorkers with experience with the T-word On Thursday, the Columbus Dispatch
S know that they are making fools of themselves.
vote? According to the New York Times, only reported that Bush apparently received 4,258 Only with a concerted effort will we be able to
16% of Manhattan and Bronx residents voted votes to John Kerry's 260...in a county where fight the growing health crisis: idiots.
Page 4
The Wave of Bush Resig naions Connu aId..
By Joan Leong
value his friendship. He will be missed." named. notices. Many times, they would openly com-
National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice is The only major recent loss in this ment on something the neo-conservatives didn't
his most likely replacement. administration is Colin Powell. Other promi- agree on and soon after, they would retract what
Three other high-ranking cabinet secre-: nent figureheads like EPA Administrator they had said. It was also obviously fishy; they
taries have also resigned. Secretary of Energy Christie Whitman, Director of the CIA George had to acquiesce with the terror team (Bush,
Spencer Abraham who provided this country Tenet, Secretary of the Treasury Paul O'Neill, Rice, Cheney and Rumsfeld) no matter what. The
with record high oil and gasoline prices is also and Press Secretary Ari Fleischer all resigned slightest sign of opposition to the Neo-Cons of
resigning. His possible successors include early into Bush's first term. Having to keep Terror eventually led to the resignations of the
Deputy Energy Secretary Kyle McSlarrow and their mouth shut one too many times and after worn-out officials who finally surrendered
retiring Democratic Senator John Breaux of being disparaged for, god forbid, publicly voic- because they realized they were just instru-
Louisiana. Secretary of Education Rod Paige who ing their dissent, they all gave their respective ments to deceive everyone this is still a democ-
organized the No Child Left Behind Act racy.
is also stepping down. White House With all of the top officials
domestic policy adviser Margaret jumpingship shortly after his re-elec-
Spellings is most likely to replace him. tion, it does discredit Bush-even fur-
Secretary of 'Agriculture Ann M. ther in the public's eye. Could it be
Veneman who handled the mad cow dis- they didn't think he would win re-elec-
ease and increased consumer protection tion? Or was it they do not want their
of food safety and nutrition also good name tarnished any further by
resigned. She was praised for her hard associating with one of the most intol-
work in containing the mad cow disease erable and unpopular presidents ever?
and increasing farm profits but very While some officials were a good rid-
unpopular among small farmers who dance, we have had many losses along
called her a "corporate lackey." She is the way. Colin Powell was one of our few
also unpopular among many environ- democratic links to the Bush adminis-
mental 'groups for not upholding tration and now that he is gone, the
Clinton's Roadless Area Conservation Neo-Cons of Terror can rule with an
Act, which ,protects millions of acres of even more stubborn iron fist. What is
national land from being victims of the Terror Squad going to put America
deforestation and other environmental and the world through next? Just wait
policies. She is staying on for the rest of and cower because evil has finally tri-
her term and no successors have been umphed over good men and women.
Page 5
-TC-- Inra~a~rlrr~a~r
1~i-~ - I I
Editorial(s) and Letter(s)
EditrialBoar
sub Commandante
EDITORIAL:
Joe Filippazzo
Managing Editor
Treading on the Geneva Conventions
Mike Billings On Tuesday, November 16, footage depicting a Qaeda and other terrorist groups do not necessarily
U.S. marine shooting a wounded Iraqi in Fallujah was enjoy the protections of the Geneva Conventions. Al
Associate Editor made public. The footage shows two Iraqis slumped Qaeda members and other foreign terrorists in Iraq
Amberly Timperio against a mosque wall with a few U.S. marines survey- illegally would not be entitled to the Geneva Convention
ing the area. One marine indicated that an Iraqi was protections." Following this logic, numerous non-Iraqis
pretending to be dead, then shot him at point blank have been secretly detained, transferred, and interro-
Business Manager range. gated by U.S. forces.
Michael Prazak Kevin Sites, who is responsible for recording Other Humanitarian issues are deeply concern-
the footage, told reporters three other wounded men ing including the amount of Iraqi civilians killed since
News Editors were killed under similar circumstances that day. the onset of the war. Some estimate that Iraqi civilian
Brittany Brockner Under the Geneva Conventions, wounded soldiers are to casualties number higher than 100,000. Not to mention
David K. Ginn be collected and cared for by the party that has them in the devastation bombing and ground combat has caused
their power and are not to be subjected to further vio- to the infrastructure and economy. How will they
Features Editor lence. Also, under the Geneva Convention places of wor- rebuild entire cities with a suffering economy? How
Melanie Donovan ship may not be used, "in support of the military will adequate food, water, and medical supplies reach
effort," and they cannot be "the objects of reprisals." the refugees escaping combat in Fallujah, Baghdad, and
Although it has been depicted and is being Mosul? How can we ensure the safety and protection of
Arts Editor
treated by military personnel as an isolated incident, non-combatants? These questions seem to be out of the
Meri Wayne the footage reveals a more systemic problem. The cur- scope of the current mainstream dialogue on the Iraq
rent administration is placing little, if any, 'value on War. It seems that the current Administration and the
Photo Editor the promotion and enforcement of the Geneva mainstream media have forgotten that promoting
Jowy Romano Conventions. The- Justice Department issued a state- humanitarian causes goes hand in hand with democra-
ment that non-Iraqis captured in Iraq could be treated cy. How can we possibly 'free' or 'democratize' Iraq
Copy Editors similar to members of al Qaeda, meaning Convention without simultaneously enforcing the Geneva
Matthew Willemain standards don't apply. A senior Justice Department Conventions and promoting humanitarianism first and
Marcel Votlucka official commented to CNN that, "This administration foremost?
Nicole L. Barry has made it clear from the outset that members of al
Production Manager
Rob Pearsall
Webmaster To All,
Adam Hunter Glad to see the Press thriving on campus. However, that Bravmann character is off his Ritalin. May I sug-
gest you replace it with Thorazine, or better yet a Curare dart at fifty paces.
His unique style, a combination of schizophrenia and Tourettes syndrome, would make him an excellent
Ombudsman
candidate for study. Why don't you donate him to the hospital's psych ward to turn off the "salad shooter" he calls
Dustin Herlich his mouth.
. S ta f Seriously, if I needed incoherent "white-noise" from bigoted, patriarchal, misogynistic, homophobes I'd
fames Blonde Jamie Mignone go turn on Fox News and/or watch the sound bites of President Bush.
Philip Camacho Ali Nazir
Sarah Cassone Mike Nevradakis Keep The Press alternative,
Dean Benson
Willy Cibinskas Jason Ng
Tom Clark Andrew Pernick
Juliet DiFrenza Laura Positano
Mike "Bublz" Fabbri Matt Rammelkamp
Vincent Festa Rachel Eagle Reiter
Rob Gilheany Ian Rice
Sam Goldman Joe Rios
Fara Lynn Groth Joey Safdia
[ackie Hayes Erik Salomon
5teph Hayes Tom Senkus
Russ Heller Keith C. Smith
Dan Hofer Christine Tanaka
Adam Kearney Andrew Thompson
Rob Kruper Claudia Toloza
The Count LeComte Morgan Wilding
Foan Leong Chris Williams
Bill Lewis Brian Wong
Antony Lin Jessica Worthington
rohn Mascher
............................ I
Eddie Zadoroznvt -r
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Page 6
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Come One, Come All to the USG Circus
Come one, Come all, to the USG Circus mile. Bravmann, who has written (and continues to
A special editorial Irfan Sayed, teamed with several cultur- write) a series of bigoted, highly incendiary
al and religious organizations and the Commuter columns in this very newspaper. It culminated
Last year, The Stony Brook Press, Student Organization, had presented a bill recently with two articles, written under pseu-
angered by an unjust cut in funding and driven intended to fund religious and cultural groups donyms (which, after discussion, was deemed to
to do something about it, dove into the campus by creating a semi-independent organization be a mistake on our part), published in the last
political scene in a fashion never before seen in similar to the IFSC called the Council of issue of The Press, after which Mr. al-Shareffi
our nnwspaper's history, and quite possibly Religious Entities, or CORE for short. This is a almost immediately announced his resignation,
this school's history. While we freely admit that program the Press supports, mostly because citing personal stress. The Press believes that
we probably would not have been as keen to religious groups like Hillel, Gospel Choir and Mr. al-Shareffi is a good man who has tragically
attack Undergraduate Student Government Essence of Praise receive funding already, while been led astray by his reliance on people, like
injustices if we had gotten our usual funding, we the Muslim Students Association (where Mr. Alexandra Duggan and the USG parliamentari-
also believe that the result - culminating in the Sayed hails from) does not. Originally, USG's an, for advice that more often than not turned
Club and Organization Bill of Rights - was the outgoing Executive Vice President, Esam al- out to be very bad. We still like Mr. al-Shareffi,
best thing that could ever have happened to our Shareffi, and the head of the Special Services and he is always welcome in our office, but we
newspaper. Council, Rustum Nyquist, both of whom we will not ask him to reconsider his resignation,
This year, with the national elections respected greatly, supported the bill. Then, for if you get what we mean. And to attack Mr. al-
taking precedence, we have not been paying as reasons that we still find unclear, they became Shareffi by comparing him to members of
much attention to USG matters as we should have opposed to it. At the meeting where the laws Saddam Hussein's government (as one post did)
been. This has been our mistake. What has been were supposed to be voted on, Mr. Sayed intro- is sleazy, cowardly and disgusting.
going on this year dwarfs last year's circus by a duced the bill, then refused to answer questions Now, having disposed of his personal
when asked, enraging several USG members, enemyr, and having the CORE laws be in opera-
including Mr. al-Shareffi. However, the bill tion, one would think that this would be enough
passed. Mr. Nyquist and Mr. al-Shareffi are for Mr. Sayed. But he has plans that extend far,
currently challenging the bill's validity in the far beyond this victory.
USG Judiciary. Over the past several weeks, Mr. Sayed
During this time, a parallel story and his supporters in the Senate and on
emerged. Jon Lawson, the Commuter Student StonyBrookSucks have began a series of attacks
Association's Senate representative, was told he on those members of USG 'that come from the
would be unable to continue at his position. University's Equal Opportunity Program, or
Inexplicably, he was then given the option of EOP. EOP has been the "third rail" of USG poli-
staying in his position another three weeks, tics for a long, long time. Many people involved
which he accepted. During that time, just like with campus politics, specifically several mem-
any other representative Senator of a democra- bers of the Commuter Students Association,
cy, he used his vote to suspend the hotly con- have claimed that EOP students have been the
tested elections because of serious charges ultimate administrative tool; a group of stu-
levied between Romual Jean-Baptiste and dents shepherded into politics by Fred Preston,
Alyssa Fasano, who were running against each who vote for each other, campaign for each other,
other for Freshman Representative. After his and stand by each other no matter what. Their
three weeks were up, he was publicly removed current poster child is Jean-Baptiste, a cocky
in a ceremony which violated the Family sort who, in one of his first official statements
Education Rights and Privacy Act (trust us, upon .taking his position, basically told the
guys, it is; we researched this when the same Senate they were idiots, reportedly was picked
thing happened to Vince Rasulo last year), and to run for office by Mr. Preston personally and
then, on top of it all, apparently on the advice of who reportedly told USG President Jared Wong
a parliamentarian, and with the blessing of Mr. when they first met that he intends on taking
al-Shareffi, his vote on the issue was "nulli- Mr. Wong's position eventually.
fied," leaving Jean-Baptiste the winner. The Last year, many people came into our
Press cannot stress enough that there is office to talk USG politics,,and they would even-
absolutely no justification that could possibly tually talk about the EOP stranglehold on cam-
be made for disenfranchising a Senator's con- pus politics. However, no Press article written
stituency by essentially telling this Senator by an E-Board member last year mentioned EOP
that their vote didn't matter. We don't care if at all. This is because we believe there is
it's because his/her grades weren't high enough; absolutely nothing wrong with EOP students
we don't care if he/she was doing illegal things doing what they are doing. What they do is
while in office; we don't care if he/she pulls out called organizing and being politically active;
a rifle and shoots someone during the meeting. why should EOP student be punished for their
You never ever nullify a vote, for any reason, actions? Oh, and by the way, neither Sergio de
ever. And if this was the idea of the parliamen- Freitas, nor Andrew Rafii, two people we had
tarian, she should be fired immediately. Voting beef with last year, were EOP members. The
is one of the cornerstones of the democratic Pressnever fought EOP; we fought stupidity and
process. We wonder what is being taught in incompetence, period, and we continue to do so.
USG's "leadership" class if they don't grasp this And if you still really hate EOP, and want to
basic concept (never mind, Maria Terrana's "defeat" them, you don't do it by attempting to
teaching it). legislate them out of USG, as was attempted
These two items combined have created a recently. EOP is not, has never been, and will
situation in which a lot of personal enmity has never be the problem, and those who devote
been directed at Mr. al-Shareffi, most of it on their time and energy into fighting them are
the message boards of StonyBrookSucks.com, wasting time better spent doing other things.
which is currently experiencing a renaissance. We have no problem calling Jean-Baptiste an
The relative anonymity of the boards, combined amazingly arrogant man who would not be in his
with the fact that Mr. al-Shareffi stupidly position save for the grace of Mr. Preston, but
decided to engage these unknowns, created a you will never, ever hear us call him an EOP
combustible atmosphere, where Mr. al-Shareffi "Welfare Queen" (as some have) or something of
has been criticized for, among other things, the sort.
being from Iraq, and his friendship with Ben
Page 7
I~ I _ __
A Response
By Rustum Nyquist
The Past -- : Brook University' provide sharp and very point-
. . funding decisions that a school government
ed criticisms of USG. I use the term criticism makes involving a mandatory student activity
I am currently a senior and I involved, loosely for they serve more as thinly veiled fee must be made with no regard for a club's
with USG as the chair of the Special Services attack pieces than any semblance of construc- viewpoint. They can disallow duplicate clubs,
Council, a joint agency that provides student tive criticism. I will only respond to allegations but they cannot adjust funding or allocate/not
activity fee (SAF) funding for new clubs and for that I am personally involved with because that allocate funds because of a club's purpose. By
special events by non-USG funded organiza- is all I can really, account for. As far as racism creating CORE, an acronym for the Council on
tions. I have been involved with this council for within SSC, this is deeply insulting to me, and Religious Entities, we are in, within its mere
almost a year and a half now and am glad to have towards my fellow council members. 5 out of 6 creation, going into the viewpoint of religious
done it. I have been able to meet many active and of the council members are of Asian descent and clubs by requiring them to go through a sepa-
motivated people on campus putting on great I can oily imagine their disgust to be equal, if rate process from all other clubs and organiza-
programming. I first became involved with the not greater than mine. In my time within SSC, tions; this is illegal and unfair. As far as
government as a club president in my freshman beginning with a solid foundation established unbridled discretion, that means that any gov-
year. Here I witnessed corruption and a wholly by former chair Tim Cole, we have created a ernmental decision maker must have a set
dysfunctional and irresponsible administrative paper trail that fully accounts for each decision process to determine any allocation, and must
process in the Student Polity Association, the we have made and always operated with the not have the power to give money by his or her
predecessor to USG. To be extremely brief, intent of full disclosure. I make myself as avail- own whim. One example of the boundless power
Polity was a decrepit able to students as given to CORE council members is the ability to
imitation of a govern- possible giving out require financial records and affidavits of past
ment that, at least in'my personal contact infor- and present students regarding whether they
short acquaintance with mation if needed and I were, or are currently paying the SAF or having
it before it was dis- ask that any student it waived. Groups that do not abide by the wish
solved, did not serve with legitimate con- of CORE would be subject to budget freezing. Not
broader student needs cerns over our deci- only is this an example of unbridled discretion,
in any way, shape or sions come and share but also a violation of all students' privacy
form. The treasurer's them. I stand behind rights.
office was a black hole my record as my sole These are the reasons for opposition to
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s .II U.kU the bill. In replace of CORE, I have drafted
whatever went in never came out again. The a breadth of diverse clubs and the process is another bill that does abide by pertinent laws
accountants were often hostile to students and working now. We have a set procedure for appli- and hopefully the senate will approve it so these
were definitely not working for our benefit. All cations and each one of our decisions is clubs can finally get the money they deserve.
of these problems mentioned stemmed from the accountable, or at the very least well document- The CORE laws were drafted and presented
fact that throughout the ranks of the organiza- ed so that it can be subject to further scrutiny. underhandedly and the concerns that I raised
tion, there existed unmotivated, lazy, and self- Beyond asking people to inquire about how SSC with the presenter were not heeded; I'offer my
interested people. That being said, I can honest- works and how our decisions are made, I will let bill for passage or defeat and welcome input
ly say that USG is a step up, even with its prob- this unfounded accusation rest. from any and all who are interested.
lems. It is becoming more of a force as more peo- The former article mentioned a current If the persons who wrote these two
ple get involved and gaining greater leverage to issue of funding for religious clubs. I respond damning articles felt confident to put their
advocate for student needs. by saying that at no time has Esam Al-Shareffi, names behind their accusations possibly I, or
Within this article though, rather than any other elected official, or my self demon- you, could respond to them, but since they chose
dealing with the problems of the past, I would strated any intention to slight religious organ- the more sheepish path of anonymity, unfortu-
like to focus on activities going on now within izations in anyway. A lot has happened within nately there is no resolution to their grievances.
our current government. In particular, I would this, and for those unaware of it, I ask you to get I do entreat any and all students who want more
like to make brief responses to two articles in touch with your senators, executive council information about these issues or to inquire
written in November 17's issue of The Stony members, or myself for more information and to about the workings of SSC to come to me.
Brook Press. lodge your own opinion. As for CORE, the legis- Although I am resigning at the end of this
lation referenced in the article, it is wrong leg- semester, I am always available for anybody
The Present: CORE, Racism, and an Honest islation in that it gives unbridled discretion to with concerns. Please, get in touch with me at
Response a council that provides SAF funding and does my school account,
not uphold viewpoint neutrality; for both of rnvquiist@notes cc. sunysbi.edu or my personal
These -:articles titled 'USG has Greatly these reasons the bill:is not legal by the prece-i account, rustum.nyquist@gmail.com.
ITnset This Indivinnil' and 'Racism at Stonv dent set by the United States Supreme Court. All
Page8
BA S.I C. Misinformnnation1at
"Let's Talk About Sex" By Mike Billings
Recently, the Brothers and Sisters in it to be a serious threat, is an unwavering track able barrier to particles the size of STD
Christ, or B.A.S.I.C., sponsored a program called to destruction. Lloyd and his assistants spent pathogens." The way Lloyd describes it, a con-
"Let's Talk About Sex." Billed as a realistic their time relaying horror stories about pornog- dom is no more effective against AIDS and other
discussion about sexuality, the program was raphy; how it caused one of the speakers to drop STDs than a sieve.
meant to spark a frank discussion among atten- out of school and the other to almost lose his Once Lloyd finished speaking, there was
dees and provide real information about a topic family. The latter speaker even professed that only about ten minutes left for a discussion; far
many are still uncomfortable addressing. While when his wife discovered that he was collecting too little time for anyone to obtain any mean-
the intent was noble, the outcome was silly at pornography, she wanted to "cut out [his] heart, ingful information about relationships and sex-
best, and dangerously misinforming at worst. fry it up, and eat it." This seems to be a rather uality. Even if there was time, Lloyd was clear-
The two-hour event began with a three- extreme reaction to the discovery that one's ly too out of touch with reality to give any help-
song set from a band that covered songs from U2 spouse watches porn. In fact, this was the gen- ful answers. At one point during the discus-
and Lifehouse. After this, the audience took eral problem with this area of the talk. The sion, Lloyd notes that college students should
their seats and the "Essence of Praise" dancers 0 n
*NAIM -da'rV or F rr,&,aAd%,^.n r%
110
ahx
110 V
L
1 iM r-L hi,
I I atLI 11 SII p3 ,
performed while gospel music blared in the the dangers of a dependence because relationships do
background. Despite the fact that these acts on pornography; they failed nothing but take aw.ay from
clearly worked hard and did a great job, we were to mention that the majority time that should be used for
now roughly 30 minutes into our frank discus- of people who have ever seen studying and praying.
sion about sex and no one has actually said a pornography will not Although this is a
word. After the musical and dance performanc- become dependent on it. ridiculous comment, it does
es, it was time for a relationship skit. Again set Instead, the speakers serve the purpose of sum-
to gospel music, this time of a more pensive implied that anyone who ming up the spirit of the pro-
variety, the actors used pantomime to demon- looks at pornography will gram. This was supposed to
strate that one's heart does not belong to any develop a horrible addiction be a frank, meaningful dis-
other person; but rather to God. While the effort that will tear their lives cussion about sexuality.
of the actors was commendable, this is yet apart. While Lloyd did not shy away
another chunk of time that wasn't used to dis- After this portion of from graphic questions, he
cuss the topic of sexuality; a topic that would be the talk, Lloyd moved on to certainly did not offer any
difficult to properly discuss in this type of for- speak about sexually trans- meaningful, or rational,
mat in less than an hour. mitted diseases. Going from advice for college students.
After the myriad of performances, the an abstinence-only perspec- Considering that the average
main speaker prepared to begin. For the event, tive, the idea that people age of the room was about
B.A.S.I.C. had booked Bobby Lloyd, executive should wait until marriage twenty years old, Mr. Lloyd's
director of Long Island Citizens for Community to have sex, Lloyd described the symptoms of a speech would have been more appropriate in an
Values, or LICCV. On a newsletter distributed number of STD's and how they can be contract- eighth grade health class where the goal is to
after the program, it is stated that the mission ed through sexual activity. An appalling fact, make kids aware of the risks associated with sex
of LICCV is to "significantly reduce sexual vio- however, is that Lloyd frequently doled out and to try and make them delay it until they can
lence and the victimization of women, children, incomplete and incorrect information. During fully take responsibility for their actions. For
and families...by educating citizens and legisla- the program, Lloyd stated that the AIDS virus, college students, however, Lloyd simply pre-
tors on the harms of pornography." Judging because it is so small, passes right through con- sented skewed and false information to an audi-
from this statement it's not surprising that the doms; making condoms an ineffective means of ence that doesn't need to be fooled; if you give
early focus of Lloyd and his two assistants were protection during intercourse. This is fa s e. people of this age real information, each one of
the dangers of pornography and masturbation. According to the Center for Disease Control, them is more than capable of making informed
The main idea was that pornography, "Laboratory studies have demonstrated that 'decisions for themselves. Anything less is an
despite the fact that most people do not perceive latex condoms provide an essentially imperme- insult and a waste of time.
Page 10
- -- --
NYPIRG: Building Student Povver
Thirty-one years ago, in a Queens These core students are most active in
College cafeteria, a group of students created a the chapter and some of them are State Board
structured plan for grassroots. organizing. It Representatives. For each of the schools there
was a public interest research group (PIRG), but are two to four elected Board, representatives,
more organized, focused and most unusually, who are students that speak for each of their
had the interests of students in mind. It was the respective campuses. There are four Stony
first consumer and environmental advocacy Brook Board representatives, one of whom is
organization of its kind: student run and stu- myself. The reason I ran was because I wanted
dent directed. PIRG's didn't just spring up in to be your, the SBU student body, voice in this
New York, but in places like Massachusetts and organization, but anyone can run for the State
Connecticut and as many as 29 other states Board. This is a time when students from all
around the country. over campus have a chance to choose who they
The New York Public Interest Research want to represent them in NYPIRG. One of the
Group (NYPIRG) is the largest and most effective unique opportunities that NYPIRG has to offer is
consumer and environmental rights group in the being able to take an active part in creating real
state. For over 31 years NYPIRG has been fight- social and environmental change. As a Board
ing (and winning) on issues throughout New representative, you can make' a proposal on a
York State. The strength of NYPIRG is within the specific issue that you would like to address
campus activism, which is student activism. and if your fellow Board reps pass the proposal
NYPIRG is a statewide organization with then NYPIRG can take it on as issue work.
student activists from Stony Brook, to For example, the State Superfund (creat-
Binghamton, to Buffalo, NY. The NYPIRG State ed to have polluters clean up their toxic waste
Board of Directors is made up of students rep- sites) dried up several years ago and 400+ toxic
resenting each of our 21 campus chapters. It is waste sites suddenly were not getting cleaned
the Board of Directors that chooses what issues up. These sites were linked to neurological dis-
to tackle, and appoints the Executive Director. orders, birth defects and breast cancer, and the
As a staff employee, the Executive Director government wasn't doing anything. So NYPIRG
works solely for NYPIRG and closely with the spearheaded a campaign for the reinstatement of
Board Chair. The energy and ideas generated by the Superfund. To do this we would have a
students are paired with on campus project NYPIRG worker head the campaign focusing on
coordinators who facilitate the transformation passing a bill to bring the fund back. Then the
of issues into campaigns. campus would get involved and we would have
The State Board Executive Committee is press conferences, petition signings and lots of the student body. NYPIRG is on campus for s tu-
made up of the Board Chair, Vice Chair and media work. I was a part of the Superfund cam- dents' benefit; our office, facilities and knowl-
three Board representatives. This committee paign and actively participated for 2 years, so edgeable staff are here to aid you in program
has the power to make decisions for the organi- when it was finally reinstated it was awesome! If work. Next semester we'll be having workshops,
zation when the full Board of fifty or so students you are into it, you can derive a lot of satisfac- where students can learn how to be efficient and
cannot convene. Those people who are on the tion from work with NYPIRG. successful in campus activism. Some of the top-
Board are enrilled and attending school, since Another successful campaign is our ics might be student coalition building, campus
the only way you can be on the State Board is if higher education campaign. NYPIRG has a staff event planning, and off-campus political and
you are a college student. The only exception is person working full time to insure that stu- media outreach. The skills picked up at these
the Board Chair. This student takes an academ- dents' voices are heard in Albany. But the staff workshops will not only help in college but will
ic yearlong internship for credit, which entails person can't do it alone, and that's where the extend to the job sector, by improving your
moving to NYC to work full time out of the campuses come in. We hold press conferences, interpersonal skills and multi-tasking abili-
NYPIRG office. The rest of the NYC-office is get petitions and letters done, hold media events ties.
made up of issues staff who work on campaigns to raise awareness and influence legislators. I hope that this article has answered
such as the environment, higher education, con- We fight hardest, on the Higher Ed campaign questions and helped clarify what NYPIRG does.
sumer and homeless outreach, among others. while the New York State Budget is being writ- Just for the hell of it, I'm going to leave you with
The NYC office works in conjunction with our 21 ten. Our work has paid off and we kept SUNY my own thoughts. I think that NYPIRG is a great
campus chapters. The organization's issues and CUNY tuition hikes lower, saving students organizationfor a whole litany of reasons, only
start with the ideas of the students and end with thousands of dollars. some of which I touched on above, but my num-
student action. For those of you from the city you may ber one reason for liking NYPIRG is because it
On Stony Brook campus we have two Shave heard of the MetroCard (something that as directs my activist energy into constructive
project coordinators, (PCs), Eric Br.uzaitis and a City native I feel is the best thing since sliced work on successful campaigns, which make a
Rose Auguste. They are full 'time staff and work bread!). Since the early 1980s, as part of our difference to our future. After all, it is this
as facilitators who foster the growth of student consumer rights campaign, the NYPIRG cultural and ecological society that is our
activism by giving students the tools to develop Straphangers Campaign has been working on inheritance.
skills that can be used for successful and effec- making the MTA cleaner, quicker, and more Any questions or comments in response
tive public outreach. They attend to everyday efficient. to my article can be addressed to me via email:
office affairs, helping out on student's issue NYPIRG is a full time student advocacy sbenvi@hotmail.com or you can call me at the
projects. They are a necessary part of running group that is non-partisan and separate from NYPIRG office: 632-6457.
a chapter. But if it weren't for the devoted stu- the state government. The 21 campuses that
dent activists, there would be little for them to have NYPIRG chapters receive a part of the stu-
do. dent activity fee so that we can operate to serve
Dear Press,
WHOA! You guys just put out the best issue EVER! Thick and heavy with
some of the most intelligent and informative articles I have ever read. Matthew
Rammelcamp's "Bush Steals Election Again...Business as Usual" was superb.
But your shining moment was indisputably the RALPH spread. That open-
ing letter from the blue to red states was a literary gem. It says it all about
America today. You guys are writing geniuses on par with Jon Stewart, Al Franken
and Bill Maher. I suggest you send this masterpiece (pages 34-35) to all of them
to gain the national recognition this piece deserves.
~x~P~
I
Judiary Questions Integrity of CORE and USG
-- - . · - . .
On November 25 at 12:55pm the USG Neither the petitioner nor the respondent
Judiciary held its second case, Case no. S. Ct. 003 was present for the trial. The USG Judiciary ordered
2004, Nyquist, Al-Shareffi v. USG Senate, Syed. The an indefinite injunction on the enforcement of the
case petition was filed by Special Services Council CORE laws until another trial could be held. Vlad
Chair Rustum Nyquist and Executive Vice-President Frants, Chief Justice, stated their decision was
Esam Al-Sheriffi on November 5 and challenges the based on the fact that this was a "highly sensitive
constitutionality of the CORE laws, which were pro- issue" and that it would not be in the best interest of
posed by Irfan Syed and passed by the USG Senate. the students to issue a summary judgment based on
The CORE laws establish CORE, or the Council the evidence already submitted.
of Religious Entities, as a legislative body responsi- Aside from the CORE laws, the Judiciary also
ble for the allocation of the Student Activity Fee in raised other issues regarding the integrity of USG.
regards to religious clubs and organizations. They Frants stated he would bring a motion to impeach .
also attempt to articulate the rights and duties of USG President, Jared Wong to the USG Senate on
religious groups on campus. The funding of both Tuesday based on the fact that he has not filled the
religious and political clubs and organizations were remaining seats in the Judiciary. According to the
threatened during the Fall of 2003, when then USG USG Constitution, it is the USG President's responsi-
President, Sandy Curtis stated political and reli- bility to fill the Judiciary within 30 days of the
gious clubs would no longer receive USG funding, semester. Frants pointed out that over 120 days had
The CORE laws could have been a response to protect passed with little motion from Wong to begin the
and articulate the fiscal rights of religious clubs and Judiciary nominating process. Frants also indicat-
organizations. ed that they couldn't proceed with their second case
The petitioner's brief outlines their qualms until there was a full Judiciary.
with the laws stating they violate, "the USG As it stands, the USG Judiciary is two jus-
Constitution, the Chancellor's Guidelines, Trustee's tices'short of a full Judiciary and is postponing the
policy, financial policy and procedures, USG's con- hearing regarding the CORE laws until the positions
tract with USG's fiscal agent, the Family Educational are filled. If Frants moves to impeach Wong and the
Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA), as well as several issue is brought before the Judiciary, Frants will
rulings by the United States Supreme Court." The have to step down from his position as Chief Justice,
brief also points out that religious clubs and organ- meaning USG potentially could be left without a
izations are supposed to be dealt with on viewpoint President or Chief Justice by next semester.
neutral basis as decided by Board of Regents of the For more information regarding the case or
University of Wisconsin System v. Southworth. The for information on how to apply to the USG Judiciary
respondent, Irfan Syed did not submit a brief, evi- visit the student government's web site at
dence, or a list of witnesses in defense of the laws. http://www.ic.sunysb.edu/Clubs/usg/.
11/18/2004
President Wong,
Thank you,
Vincent Rasulo
U _ U - -
;ou
CERATOR" GU
I
" RASULO
Al. IN THIS
SUPREMACY!
"UESDAY
-UESDAY
U ESDAY
What's in a Lab el?
Reclaiming One's SexLlal Individuality
By Marcel Votlucka
Freak! "feminine." In this rigid gender system, there is guys to girls. Or am I in between the two labels?
Faggot! no acceptable middle ground; if you're by Who the hell am I? There is no word to describe
Queer! chance born a hermaphrodite, the doctor will my flexibility, and as a result I am forced to use
Homo! fix you up quick. the terms bisexual and homosexual inter-
Dyke! And of course, you are taught to fall in changeably. I feel comfortable using both; but at
Fairy! love and make babies with the opposite sex and the same time neither truly describes who I am.
Sissy! gender; boys kiss girls and girls kiss guys. And I use this personal example to illustrate
Carpet-eater! you can love or have "vanilla" sex with only one .my main point: we think of ourselves in terms of
Bulldagger! partner at a time-polygamy is out of the ques- rigid heterosexist and homosexist labels, and
Pervert! tion. You are to be a heterosexual monogamist, construct (and constrict) our individual selves
If you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans- either totally masculine or totally feminine based on the roles and expectations provided by
gendered, transsexual, or otherwise "queer," no depending on what lies between your legs. These them. We deny anything that does not conform
doubt you've been the target of words like these are the rules. Dissent will not be tolerated. You to these standards, opting for personal and sex-
at one time or another. If you're "straight," you will comply. And if you don't, you are a ual repression rather than being honest with
may have even used them against someone at one "queer," an enemy of humankind. ourselves. We end up thinking about ourselves
time or another. These terms are usually meant This is heterosexism, a rigid, unbending in terms of inadequate assigned labels instead
to be hurtful and demeaning, intended to bring social system based on of as unique individu-
us who are "queer" down so that ignorant fools the social construction als. I wish to challenge
can add false bulk to their twisted worldview. of one's sexuality and this fallacious way of
Indeed, there is a psychological power in words gender. This brutal thinking.
that can be wielded with terrible results. system sanctions vio- I am not propos-
Heterosexual. lence against women, ing that we create new
Homosexual. violence against labels in order to catch
Bisexual. "queers," the sup- those who don't fit in; I
Masculine. pression of men's emo- am proposing that indi-
Feminine. tions, fierce competi- viduals stop getting so
Androgyny. tion over who is 'the hiing un .nvrer hlaeling
We don't usually think of these seem- most "straight," and uses fear to keep people in themselves and others, and begin to relate to
ingly benign words as being ugly and degrading, line, regardless of the cost to their individual themselves and each other strictly as sexual
though they are. Indeed, their overuse is ulti- minds. individuals. We all have our own unique lives,
mately more degrading and sinister than the "Queers" supposedly challenge this thoughts, personalities, emotions, drives, and
previously listed insults; these words repre- rigid system by their own existence, but only to lusts. Try as you might no one label, no one
sent a process of systematic dehumanization an extent. Despite the diversity that lies within standard-"masculine," "feminine," "heterosex-.
that affects all of us. Without realizing it, "het- the "queer" mindset, there are still rigid ual," "homosexual," even "bisexual," can fully
erosexual," "homosexual," "bisexual," "mascu- boundaries and role expectations. If you are capture your inner complexity in a nutshell.
line," and "feminine" are code words for the gay, you must love men exclusively and are Under the brutal sex/gender system we live
subversion of our individuality. expected to be somewhat "feminine;" if you are under, labeling is used for simplicity, not com-
This process, starting from birth and lesbian, you must love women exclusively and plexity; easy categorization, not rigorous ques-
lasting until your last breath, involves being are expected too be somewhat "masculine." If tioning and self-exploration. Individuals can
indoctrinated by society to have faith in a rigid you are bisexual-well, you'd best stop sitting on transcend the labels and the system itself.
construction of gender and sexuality. Males are the damn fence already and pick a side! Lord In light of this, labeling, and the self-
taught to be "masculine"; that is, to be strong, help you if you are transgendered or transsex- repression and oppression of others that results
tough, rugged, unemotional, rational, big- ual; you haveno place at the table, so go join the from it, is fundamentally useless.
balled, dominating, aggressive, even violent. circus, and get out of sight! To deny one's inner feelings and emo-
And males are given undue priority and special This is nothing less than a form of mind tions and sexual drives is to deny one's self, and
privileges in just about every society on the slavery. Under the rules of this rigid sex/gen- by following the rules of the rigid sex/gender
planet. Females are taught to be "feminine"; that der system, you are given a label, and expected system, you subvert your own individuality.
is, weak, gentle, tender, emotional, nurturing, to force yourself to "fit in" with the rules of that Believe me, it's hard work constantly having to
submissive, passive, peaceful, and beautiful. label, regardless of the cost to yourself. At the prove yourself according to these standards.
Boys are told: don't be a pussy (in other words, beginning of this essay I gave examples of these Why bother? It's dehumanizing.
don't act feminine in any way) and girls are labels. Under this system, these and other What I'm really trying to say, then, is:
told: sugar and spice and everything nice (in labels are used to categorize and construct us, be true to yourself I know it seems like cheap
other words, construct yourself to please a as well as demean others who don't fit in, in advice, but I really do mean it-think about who
man). If you have a penis, you must be "mascu- order to preserve a sense of drder. Everything is you are as an individual person, not as part of a
line," and if you have a vagina, you must be supposed to fit into a nice neat little package. collectivist label. For instance, what personali-
ri`l ------- ·-·- I II ..
But
.. !
it doesn't
!!
III
II I I!!]! ... ... II
ty traits do you have? Whatever they may be,
HOURS: always work that way. there's no need to think of them as simply "mas-
l- I
40%lAa4"
Every Day IUMIV 14 L, AA A fl Sometimes the labels culine, "feminine," or even "androgynous," and
Sunday 10AM t -4) 4 4 don't quite fit. Sometimes don't think you must twist your own self simply
they just aren't good to conform to any of them exclusively. Indeed,
enough. Case in point: I what's the point of doing this? Be who you are
am a male. I have a mix of and who you want to be. The same thing goes for
both "masculine" and sexuality; love whom you want to love and lust
"feminine" qualities. For after, not who you feel you have to love and lust"
FOURTH WORLD COMICS
33 Route 111, Smithtown,NY 11787
the most part I am sexual-
ly attracted to guys, but
after just because the system tells you to.
To sum up my main idea, the heterosex-
(Hillside Shoaiin: Centert occasionally I'll come ist sex/gender system, and the labeling and
across a girl who I find slurs and flame-calling that come out of it,
attractive. I feel that I forces us to subvert our individuality by forc-
- could possibly fall in love ing us to deny ourselves free choice, deny who
STAR TREK * DR WHO TOYS * STAR WARS with either a guy or a girl- and what we really desire, deny a diverse range
SCIENCE FICTION * POSTERS *T-SHIRTS for me it depends more on of loves, lusts, relationships, and experiences,
the individual person and deny ourselves a liberated self-identity,
JAPANIMATION * VIDEOTAPES * MODEL KITS than what lies between his simply out of "playing by the rules." To chal-
I
MAGIC: THE GTHERING
__ _- - : :: ,: " .F .:6 ''•;.". :;... .
or her legs. Now, does this
. . .
make me bisexual? I
I lenge this outmoded way of thinking is to grant
you individual freedom and flexibility, and to
thought it did for a long make a dent in a society in which all are gov-
time. Or am I really a gay erned by mere words, obscene rules, and self-
man? I definitely prefer repression.
Page 14
- --
Weightl for Dumm lies
By Marcel Votlucka
Basically, we Americans are a bunch of balanced diet! Are we so desperate and gullible of vitamins and shit like that; this is not a fuck-
gluttonous pigs. Over half of our adult popula- that we'll resort to such absurdities?! ing chemistry experiment, it'sfood! Eat it! Just
tion, and an alarming percentage of our chil- Wait...we've already answered that question, not too much'...and cut back on the Twinkies and
dren, are getting fatter and fatter every year. haven't we? Well, maybe not me. Because I have ice cream and all that other junk food...'cause
We're so fat that we block out the sun, to say my own weight loss plan that I am over 473% that's what it is, JUNK. Do you want junk food or
nothing of "yo' mama," and it's getting to the certain will produce good results: do you want real food? They're not compatible;
point where being a fat fuck, who takes up two get this through your head, will you please?!
or three seats on the subway and can barely fit STOP EATING SO MUCH CRAP, GOD DAMN IT! I'm not saying that some. of these diets,
through a doorway, is becoming normal. Hell, I including the Atkins diet, can't be effective.
used to be a pudgy little flab ball when I was a Stop shoving everything you see into your There are studies that show that they can some-
wee lad--not anymore, since I've since lost all of fucking mouth! Ring-Dings and Twinkies and times be effective if you stay committed to them,
that fat through following a more judicious diet. Doritos and Krispy Kreme donuts. and but let's be realistic here. Most of these diets,
Everybody wants to have that lean, fat-free McBurgers and super-sized Freedom Fries and especially Atkins, are bullshit! Obesity, in
body, and the amount of money we waste on foot-long heroes and hoagies and sub sandwich- most cases, is not a disease; it is a lack of will
finding a cure for fatness could help rebuild es and Haagen Dazs and bag after bag of M&M's power exploited by the food industry, corporate
our crumbling infrastructure or feed those and 64-ounce Pepsis and fried chicken and fast food chains, and the advertisement busi-
starving kids that we ignore except if it's potato chips and double-cheese pizzas and ness. Instead of relying on a fad diet or seeing a
Christmas or Thanksgiving: nachos do not make for a good diet. Chocolate is therapist or getting your stomach stapled or
not one of the major food groups, damn it! resorting to bulimia on Thanksgiving, why not
Oh, Daddy, let's go give those cans of string Neither are milkshakes! Neither is Taco Bell! go for the simplest and most sensible method?!
beans that we've had since Thanksgiving of '78 Stop shoveling that kind of crap into your stom- Eat less, exercise more, balanced diet-it's not
to that poor family living in the tent under the ach on an hourly basis and calling it a balanced that complicated, even a moron could do it!
bridge! After all, 'tis the season of giving! diet! Having switched gradually to a mostly
And while von're at it_ try to get nn off vere.tarian dipt ldue tn health and hlind-
The latest weight-loss fad is the Atkins your fa .e. I'm poor), I can
Diet, in which you supposedly lose weight by Instead for its results: in
cutting out all carbohydrates from your diet, store d ,ears, I've safely
such as breads, pasta, certain fruits and vegeta- house ii venty-five pounds.
bles, etc., and replacing them with...MEAT!!! please.. is is without rely-
LOTS OF MEAT! CHICKEN, BEEF, PORK, LAMB, that hai some stupid fad
VEAL, VENISON, OSTRICH, ELEPHANT, EAGLE, the oth ane product adver-
MANATEE, CATS, DOGS, POSSUM, ELK, VAM- nation iannels 24/7. You
PIRE BAT, ARMADILLO, WALRUS, DUCKBILL wheelct 'e up meat totally-
PLATYPUS! somethi ren't-but cutting
Become a consummate carnivore, and you difficul limal products as
too can attain that willowy figure you've always had to food and abandon-
desired in as little as six to eight weeks! Pass snow ju Id and The King of
the barbecue sauce, and don't be stingy with the N )od Colonel would
saturated fat! And I hear from a reliable source nutritio
thatl' Guatemalan babies are quite tasty. Dr. Atk note, all these
Japanese babies, too-sushi, anyone? Gobbling other h uits filed against
down juicy, fatty, cholesterol-laden animal car- to tell )y fat people with
casses will make you into a fucking centerfold- that bli er really piss me
at least, that's what this diet plan promises. Is the flal who buys one of
it just me, or is this a blatant advertisement for extra belts that "jiggle
the meat industry? The whole thing is an incen- over thi or those "24-hour
tive to buy meat products and cram them down AND E ormulas" should
your throat, and the effect of this fad is that And wh learest slaughter-
meat sales have skyrocketed. People like meat- a bala I. There's a village
it tastes good, damn it! And it's expensive too, foods... ians whose hunger
so buying it makes us feel like one of them rich masses ted by your plump
folks that Dubya likes so much. Never mind write tl ricans-the other
whether or not it's actually healthy or, God for- F( .thargic children-
bid, effective, it's a fad! Gotta jump on the band- about
wagon! low-fat a done ranting for
Think about it for a damn minute! We high-fa low to enjoy a fresh
know that ingesting lots of "bad" fat and "bad" low-car nilk. You just sit
cholesterol-all abundant in meat-puts you at mediun it what I just told
greater risk of obesity, heart ailments, and cer- diets, I said...you stop
tain cancers...and now we're supposed to believe countin t away from that
that eating this way is going to somehow improve measur Sinstant!
your health?! Whatever happened to a fucking ents an
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Page 15
- --
A Toast to Huma itiy
By Amy Wisnoski
It's come to my attention recently that ter how mixed up they really feel. Here's to the hopeless. Here's to trying hard when we might
absolutely nobody does what he really wants to fat people, who make excuses for themselves actually have a chance.
do. When I say "this has come to my attention even when they're not entirely convinced an EVen if you only remember who you real-
recently," I in no way am saying that this is a excuse is necessary, who wear the clothes that ly are for a brief passing moment, even if you've
new social development. On the contrary, I'm achieve the most slimming and least comfortable already forgotten, it's good to know that there is
relatively sure it's been going on since the effect possible, who place everyone into one of a you to forget.
beginning of modern history and I'.m sure if I two categories: Fatter Than Me, Thinner Than
had the time or energy to research Me. Here's to the old men and women who eat out
it, I'm sure I'd realize that the past twenty years at restaurants by themselves when their love is
have seen a dramatic increase in our ability to gone, no matter how sad and awkward it makes
be who we really are and do what we really want everyone else around them feel.
to do, but that's not what I want to talk about. Here's to the good students who work dili-
What I want to suggest is that we designate one gently on projects months before they're due
day for all of us to just let even when they've forgotten why a near-
our collective guard down, one day for all of us stranger's evaluation of their hard work is sup-
to live exactly how we want to, no questions posed to mean something. Here's to the pro-
asked. crastinators who insist they're motives
So, here's to us, desperate to fool and are more complicated than just unadulterated
beguile each other, and willing to sacrifice just laziness. Here's to the parents who love their
about everything to achieve acceptance and children even when they can actually see their
maximum popularity. Here's to the pretty girls own lives evaporating. Here's to all of us, com-
and boys, who wake up before the sun rises pletely lost and lonely much more often than we
every morning to primp and prepare, who eat realize, but also completely beautiful and
salads and work out all the time, who dedicate worthwhile when we least expect it. Here's to
themselves to perfecting their exterior no mat- trying hard when we know it's legitimately
-
- -- --
Cllege Media God, Nashville Bad
By Dustin Herlich
Nashville Tennessee, also known as and along the walls. The lucky few that got seats journalists, our papers look better, and our con-
Music City. This little city was home to the at each session were themselves packed in like tent is better. Instead of a ten watt AM station,
2004 ACP/CMA national media conference. The sardines. The only bad part about the confer- we have a four thousand watt ,FM station
conference was absolutely spectacular, but the ence was deciding which workshop to.go to, and (90.1FM) that reaches ALL of Long Island, large
city itself left much to be desired. Since I which to miss, as most of them offered some- parts of southern Connecticut, Queens,
believe in "bad news first" let's start with a thing to everyone. Being that I personally work Westchester and even occasionally other NYC
recap of Nashville itself. From there, we'll move in broadcast and in print, I was often hard boroughs and itty-bitty parts of NJ. I'd like you
onto the actual convention, and how much media pressed to make my decisions. I regret none of to show me any other non-commercial entity
rconvenntions actuajqllr mea»tn fr them
that can claim that! Instead of dry, boring
budding journalists at the Listening to pro- clones of major newspapers our publications
college level. fessionals, lawyers and have unique and engaging content. We report on
Nashville is a small people who work for issues that effect the students, and do it all
and very Southern city, best organizations like the without a professional staff really running the
represented by the oh-so- FCC really places the show. Students here run the show, and that's a
popular confederate flag status of journalism as a huge difference between us and other universi-
bikinis on sale in almost whole in perspective, ties. Considering most people in media here
every shop, as well as country and gives us here at the have never taken a journalism class, we know
and western music.1 Don't college level a really surprisingly more then our counterparts
expect to find anything good idea of where we fit around the country. The questions coming out
besides country and western in this mosaic. It makes of the mouths of some of the journalism majors
music in Nashville. In a city you feel a lot better too at the conference were a little shocking.
that has eight churches on when FCC representa- We owe Norm Prusslin a large debt of
five blocks, and has a histor- tives themselves have no gratitude for working so hard, and for making
ical plaque proclaiming how idea how to explain to us Stony Brook media what it is. Without him, we
they got all the Jews in the new indecency laws. wouldn't be as good as we are. The Journalism
Nashville to move out finally by the 1950's, It just goes, to show how ridiculous they really professors at Stony Brook definitely help, and
diversity is not exactly welcome. Tennessee is are. Stony Brook Media itself really stood out at their wisdom does filter down through the
definitely a Red state. the conference. We were the most unique set of ranks, but it's really Norm's guidance and tute-
To the city's credit, while being small, people there. lage that have given us the ability to rise up and
the two streets that actually have any sort of When we think of big private institu- meet the challenges we face today.
night life are fairly active and city ordinances tions with tons and tons of money, we often While the individual sessions were each
bar cars from some roads at night making for a think of actual journalism majors and almost fantastic, and the information invaluable the
much more tour-friendly experience. People professional staff running the college media. most useful part of the conference was really
were friendly and overall the city seemed quite Well, in many cases, that is true. There are the moral boost. We were able to see how much
safe. The food was absolutely spectacular as large, well established journalism majors and more we can produce with so little, and have it
well. Anyone who's a fan of old time favorites programs in many universities, but none can come out so very much better then everything
like ribs, sweet potatoes and fried chicken will hold a candle to Stony Brook. It's not even close. else around us. There were awards at this con-
find themselves quite happy. It's probably not While there may be the money for daily papers vention, and unfortunately we were just too
possible to get a bad meal in Nashville. on many campuses, and many of them print unique to win any. They're not going to give an
Friendly people made the experience a color etc, they also have actual paid profession- award for a five hour radio broadcast; because
lot better too, and helped soften the blow of the als workiing on these publications, and if that's that's just longer then any other they had ever
overt confederate mentality. Depressed preg- not enough, most often the students themselves heard of. I don't think they got anyone to sit
nant store cashiers and being attacked by zom- -are handsomely paid for their work as well. there and listen to it all to actually judge it.
bies did sour the mood though. Ok, so there Media at Stony Brook is 99% volunteer, and This conference, besides being on of the
were no zombies, I just want to see if anyone's we're still better. I say 99% because The Stony single greatest learning experiences of my
actually still paying attention. Brook Statesman has two paid employees, undergraduate career, was also the. single
The conference itself was spectacular. besides paying their editors. The television largest confidence boost I think media at Stony
Employing speakers from all over the country station pays for limited help, and the.radio sta- Brook has ever had. We should be proud of what
on topics ranging from Photoshop ethics to FCC tion has to hire a part time professional engi- we do, and instead of fighting us tooth and nail,
regulations, each session that I attended was jam neer to keep the station running. those with the power to should support us, and
packed. We were often forced to stand in aisles Stony Brook students are better trained help us grow even further.
Page 16
Toscanini College Pressssue Defaem ant
By Nicole L. Barry
As a tenant of Toscanini College, I know the few hours the issues had been there. They, shifts and while the RA on duty had the doors
that we never receive issues of The Press, par- of course, were appalled at what had happened. closed, the samne jerk had posted a flyer. Printed
tially due to my own laziness since I don't want My roommate in particular understood my anger on a plain sheet of letter size paper, they stated
to drag them from the Union to Tabler, and I because she reads every issue. I printed off a "Protest The Press" saying that we have a histo-
know that because of such an oversight or lack little disclaimer, stating that we are an open ry of making slanderous and inaccurate stories,
of dedication if you will, many people in my forum, and that we don't endorse homophobia, and then, to top it all off... a little marquee of
building have never read The Press, and grabbed some of my roommate's tape in hope Facebook pictures,
After this last issue came out, my ever of rectifying some of the wrong and slanderous (http://www.thefacebook.com) including Jowy
so dedicated boyfriend decided to drag a full Romano's e-mail address. They put numerous
stack (50 issues) of The Press from the Union to Press staff and Editor pictures from Facebook
the dirt lot in the Administration parking !ot, up, saying "these are the people responsible"
load up his car, and take that stack right to the and giving Jowy's email address as the way to
front of Toscanini College. He did so last get in contact with "The President of The Stony
Thursday, at about 2:00 PM, when he finished Brook Press". Need I clarify that he's our photo
with class. editor, not our president?
I had a Chemistry midterm that evening I had decided to tape up my disclaimer
at 8:30, and when I came back at about 10:20, I1 anyway, when Jowy and Joe Flip decided to drop
went through the front entrance (something I by and see what was going on. After discussing
rarely do), and something caught my eye. The the situation, we talked to the lew RSP on duty,
top issue .had been written over in permanent who hadn't seen anything, and then let the RA
marker with "Protest The Press" written right on duty know that while her doors were closed,
over Dubya's face. something else had transpired.
Of course I was upset, why wouldn't I We filed a police report for the flier but
be? I crouched over that stack, looking through the police officer made me take down my dis-
every issue, where every front, back, and copy claimer too, which I felt was unfair and unnec-
of Ben Bravmann's article had been written on. essary. It was to let people know that what was
Someone with a lot of time on their hands had written all over the issues was WRONG. It was
just done a very terrible, very bad thing. simply stating the facts. But oh well, no love lost
I called The Press office to let them know. between me and them, because to be truthfully
what was going on, and Matt Willemain blunt about it, the officer didn't give two shits
answered, as he typically does if he's in the about what happened. Why should he? Probably
office, and he said he'd let them know. So I things that had transpired. Ben Bravmann's pre- isn't paid to care about what happens on cam-
talked to the RA on duty to ask her if she'd seen vious homophobic article was accompanied by a pus.
anyone, or heard anything. She hadn't, and she disclaimer, and I attached that to my flyer as Enough of my extraneous commentary.
agreed that my idea of posting a little notice well, because obviously, without it, these sorts Fact is, we still don't know who exactly
stating, for those who are unaware- We are an of things happen and people get seriously fuck- did it.
open forum, we do not stand for homophobia, ing offended. I mean, Ben Bravmann's article is Ladies and gentlemen, when you're
would be appropriate. I went through the issues, one major fucked up piece of literary shite, but pissed off about an issue, don't go and deface
grabbed an assortment of the various statements at least I know that The Stony Brook Press is an fifty issues to make a point. Write something
written on the issues, and brought them up to open forum. I don't agree with his article, but and send it to us. Tell us what a bunch of pricks
my suite. Voltaire compels me from the grave to defend we are. We'll print it. That's what we do, because
I was just as pissed off as I could be, and free speech. we're an open forum.
I showed my suitemates what had transpired in But what do you know? In between RSP
Page 18
Video GameSex ontinu ed...
By Vincent Michael Festa
If some people do take gaming seriously, they What I do see is that aside from sexual- pick up the controller and tackle the "man
can possibly create to a degree what they want ity in games, females are coming back stronger games." So about that Bloodrayne ad with the
or wanted out of life in a small way and have thatthan ever despite companies' viewing of them. heroine showing off her cleavage...
reflected in the industry. Back to escapism, What I do notice is that titles and games like As for the six female programmers, they
video games are the reason why we can do things Dance Dance Revolution and various music show that they are breaking the preconceptions
and accomplish things that we wish we could in games are bridging the gap between males and of society, and a possible narrow-minded soci-
real-life (for example, the sex and violence in females and also winning back female member- ety that sees females as housewives or inferior.
Grand Theft Auto) ship for the gaming industry not by sexual Instead, they might disregard the idea of gender
.#7 Sex sells and so does contro- innuendo but by utilizing a theme in which both and are doing what they enjoy. They want to do
versy, or, the bottom line. As always, any sexes have in common (dancing). more than play games and show that they can
idea of sex will attract anyone using a product, Also, more and more females see no rea- pursue their interests more, even to show that
Games like Poker Ladies that use any idea of sex son as to why they can't enjoy gaming as much as there are more possibilities as to what females
will hope to attract anyone curious in how it men do as they have reflexes, coordination, and can do, because there is no reason why a female
works or is interested in the idea and will like- the same likenesses and qualities of the genres can't do it. They also show that females are not
ly put in money into the arcade machines or the as men do. In fact, The Frag Dolls, A Ubi-Soft ideas for advertisements or jokes in games,
companies that create them. Going into contro- sponsored female gaming team, are dominating rather they take themselves very seriously and
versial territories once again will create con- males in video-gaming competitions and tourna- maybe refuse to take it as such.
troversy in which results into more interest ments (Electronic Gaming Monthly, Holiday Though sexuality and sexism is notice-
because in human nature we are interested in 2004). Their presence in the magazines finally able in the industry for quite some time, it's not
the things we are not supposed to know about. have them give female gamers credit where what it's only about. Females are not just only
credit is due and finally catering to a forgotten seen to be sex objects in gaming: most do enjoy
I didwrite this article up as a result of playing demographic that may have been playing Mario the lighter, funnier, or tougher side to gaming
Mortal Kombat and reading the latest Gamestar Party all along and titles such as Lord Of The that should be in more eyes of males. In fact,
and it compelled me to observe and opinionate Rings and Harry Potter, games that cater to fans don't be surprised if she is somewhere in Tokyo,
as to why sexuality in certain areas of gaming is of the titles no matter which sex. Or, on the Sao Paolo, or Johannesburg and she frags you in
more noticeable. And no, I am not protesting other hand, by showing that female teams play Halo.
against artistic freedoms or how programmers Halo and Rainbow Six, females are not shown as
and developers want to make their games. submissive but aggressive, never minding to
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Page 20
A Jungle of Conc rete:I A Sonic Movement ,,o .M v .
- By Andrew Thompson
Before I even begin, there ought to be We travel down the surprisingly empty there for over half an hour that made us focus on
some sort of explanation for how I was raised. streets until we finally arrive. Someone at the. it. When I reach an elderly age I hope my music
My musical diet as a child was focused around door searches me to make sure that we all are won't be played in some lobby where people
Classical and the late-night show on K-Roc upstanding citizens. The admission ($5) I have totally ignore it. Also by that time I expect that
"Solid State with Liquid Todd" which still plays no problem with, especially when this sonic the electro-jazz muzak garbage I hear in every
some great house and progressive house (believe movement lasts several hours. Again, I call it a waiting room has become extinct, replaced by
me, there is a difference between the two). My live action since my friend was opposed to me more fulfilling sound of silence.
parents encouraged me to follow my own musi- calling it a concert, which it turned out not to Maybe it was the gently thumping
cal path, so I wouldn't end up tragically listen- be. rhythm of the train ride or the long night we
ing to James Taylor and Dave Matthews Band For our first treat we had someone who had, but all of us ended up sleeping past our
believing they were cool. Instead I took a total- actually was one of my favorites. He began with stop. Eventually, as soon as we had gotten out of
ly different approach. Sounds that made me a simple loop of a crescendo of either horns or the train, we awoke to the pain of near-freezing
come up with a basic idea of what the timbres violins. Then with each loop a slight variance temperatures. Our retreat from the train plat-
and movements suggested appealed to me most. was added, in addition to a small amount of form brought us to a Dunkin Donuts. It was
Lyrics I didn't relate to until I found bands that feedback. Beats were supposed to be most before 7am when we arrived there.
actually had decent ones, instead of the typical prominent here, but they seemed to be a com- Dunkin Donuts is a dreary place on a
radio tripe of some guy singing about a loss or pliment instead of the main focus with this per- weekday morning, but as we sat there exhaust-
some other banality. son. ed, eating the plastic food Dunkin Donuts offers
Anyhow, when my friend suggested a The sonic movement prominently fea- we saw and heard a change in the environment
Drum n' Bass live action (because he dislikes tured Diesel boy, who turned out to have a entirely. People commuting before 7am are
the word concert, I will refrain from that word) slightly more electro sound that most of the actually young, embittered people still getting
I couldn't say no. I've grown further into strange other artists there, but some of those in between used to the life that they have adopted. They
classical and electronic since I was a child, so also referenced the apparently chic 80s new gave up a good part of their lives to spend hours
Drum n' Bass is an important part of my musi- wave synth stabs. To be fair, I have something of in fluorescent lighting with every reason to be
cal past. We took a late night train and began a soft spot for the 80s sound, so I enjoyed that. paranoid and ambitious at the same time.
our epic journey to New York City. Any journey The bass in there was pretty powerful, as it was Paranoia settles in after taking the job, realiz-
that takes around two hours I consider "epic," a small, enclosed space where people were nice- ing your expendability as being recently hired.
mostly because I have no atten- ly packed in. I envied those Ambition stems from attempting to surpass the
tion span to speak of. Together who knew how to dance to mediocrity so many settle for after being disil-
we discussed the election music that, by definition, has lusioned with work. This, ambition eventually
results, people we hadn't seen no established rhythm but is destroys whatever other interests the person
for awhile, what we had been defined by its chaos. Not to say might have had, making them "driven" people,
doing, and so forth. Two hours I didn't try, but my attempts but the focus takes away from their other cre-
is a lot of time to kill, particu- were futile. ative outlets, transforming once interesting and
larly in a confined area like a Diesel boy was worth enlightened people into workaholics and
train with only brief glances at going there, but some of those burnouts. Creativity stayed away from people
the landscapes quickly flying who followed just seemed to be like these.
past us. The surroundings unable to follow up any of the The music changed when these young,
became less and less promi- artists who came before them, white-collar workers entered. Superficial jazz
nent as darkness destroyed our so they did not attract my music was played, in an attempt to try and show
ability to see the scenery out- attention as much. What did consumers that Dunkin Donuts was so chic. But
side. attract my attention-was stum- it didn't work; it only succeeded in frustrating
Walking out of the- bling upo'n a twenty-dollar those in line. Music in this case tried to ease the
train, I recognize a friend of bill on the floor, which essen- worries that existed for this group of people,
mine from history class. He tially paid for my entire trip who quickly ate up their plastic foods, glanced
- r_ _. Tnat
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,,1in iii- .ia.Y at The. New York Times or Post, and ran towards
explains to me that he com- hthere. maue ime nappy
mutes from the Bronx to Stony Brook several knowing I had proved the old joke wrong, that the platform to make their trains.
times a week. To him and anyone in his position, where if there was a $20 bill on the ground, Eventually these younger workers left,
I would like to say I fully respect your dedica- somebody would've already picked it up. and what came in were those accustomed to the
tion, your ability to put up with such a long A few people there obviously were work-they did and able to handle a later com-
commute. Go you! slightly eccentric and I realized that the eccen- mute. The music in Dunkin Donuts changed
Single-file I am led up to the great Penn tricity was due more in part to drug use than from shallow lounge jazz to rather nice 60's
Station Lounge, the place where random chance anything natural. Two people that evening came bands like the Doors and Jefferson Airplane.
meetings occur each day, never to happen again. up to me asking if I had any acid. No code words, Older workers knew how much they needed to
In the background of the moving mass of people nothing. Just a blunt question they expected me do, and didn't do any more than that. The music
plays some truly terrible Muzak, the kind of to answer. I answered no of course, and spent a that played for them conveyed their emotions
stuff that is like sonic wallpaper, existing in good part of that night wondering if I really do perfectly, able to be competent musicians in
every waiting room, played for no apparent rea- look strange enough to do something like that. their own right while being able to experiment
son because no one really cares or is interested. My friends heard from at least one of these peo- a bit, while with the younger group they lis-
Maybe it has to do with keeping up some sort of ple, and laughed hysterically. tened merely because it sounded tasteful, not
appearance of affluence. However, in an area After the last artist who embodied the for any deeper emotional or intellectual level.
where officers politely go up to lounging travel- idea of lackluster, we left at around 3am. The Our train Came during this time, and we
ers asking to see their tickets, the appearance of train left in about a half hour, so I decided to get trekked out in near freezing weather. The many
affluence has already been lost. a breakfast of champions from a deli across the sounds I had experienced slowly faded away
One of my more train-savvy friends street. Breakfast as if turns out starts later in into memory under the constant pulse of the
leads us to a local line that brings us right next the day, at 6am. No tasty egg and bacon on a roll, tracks traveling beneath us. It was far too early
to Cooper Union. I know that area well only although I did argue about it being called an to be awake, and I rarely get to see these times
because my friend is slowly losing his hair due early bird special, since I certainly counted as while I am conscious. Sound exists everywhere,
to the incredible amount of, stress they place on an early bird. Instead a can of Red Bull and an and the unfortunate reality is that while we
their students. The amount of mental frustra- onion bagel with cream cheese became break- focus too often on going somewhere, we forget to
tion these unfortunate souls tolerate can be fast. Surprisingly, it was quite filling. notice what has passed us by, the sounds, land-
explained in one single sentence: "It's free." It At 4:27 I believe our train arrived on scapes, and people take a back seat in our brain
may be free, but I know when I graduate from -track 19. By that time, the Muzak in the waiting while we remain focused on goals that, in the
Stony Brook University, I'll still have all my room had become quite humorous. It might have long run, have little to no importance in our
hair. been the obvious lack of sleep or just sitting lives.
Page 21
i·
Review ofProfAudience
By Tom Senkus
S Halfway through the Stony Brook's pretty name, but I would see how it would get Pants are good. Tom's pants must be (in some
Theater Department's showing of Proof, I real- confusing in the theatre business, especially metaphysical way that only a few enlightened
.ized two things: since she was just Ticket Ripper. individuals can grasp) his representation of a
Taking our seats in the theatre, it was postmodern male's delineation of the status quo,
i. Agreeing to write a review about Proofwas a hard not to notice that this, the first night of declaring to the world a new 21st century
bad idea. I have no idea how to even begin to Proof, had proven (Shazam!) to be sold-out. Renaissance is upon us in splendor divincus. To
review a play besides saying that the play was a Omnidirectional conversation broke out, slight- say he's a sharp dresser is an huge insult.
"hoot" and "Me likey plays.". ly subdued by the Rufus Wainwright dusting
out from the excellent speakers. I loves the
Rufus.
Seated to my immediate right was Tara
Groth. She'd decided to outdo all other candi-
dates of fashion victimization that night, bear-
ing a belt buckle a la John Wayne. Ease up on
that whisky, cowgirl. I think I heard a "Sooooo-
eeeeEEE" come from her direction during the
applause. You really can't go anywhere with
her.
Jowy Romano was dressed in a bandanna
and a skull/crossbones shirt, declaring the
fifth day of the week "Pirate Thursdays." I
declared that Jowy should not be spelled with a
"w,." "Touche," he said, then, "Have at you!" To
kill some time before the show began, we fenced
on the gangplank of the S.S. Staller Center until
the show began.
Jo(w)y's friend Urban (I shit you not)
While in the lobby, Sarah Cassone sport- was quite the hoot. I forget how he was dressed,
ed a scarf with dangling rabbit fur balls. True but it was not pirate-like. Did you know that an
rabbit pellets. "It's made of real rabbit," she anagram for his name comes out Bun-Ra, a homo-
said, tossing the scarf like a true artistd. Let's sexual equivalentto Sun-Ra, the avant-garde Some guy had a coughing fit during the
hope that the rabbit died of natural causes on a pianist who believed that Africans of the world play. Go cough somewhere else, coughy.
tiny little rabbit bed, surrounded by loved would unify and leave Earth in a spaceship?
ones, and praying to Rabbit-Jesus. Urban also arranges into "a burn." (* most of this never happened, except for the
I take that back; rabbits are Rastafarian. Tom Senkus, otherwise known to the coughing. What a poopsicle.)
I asked the lady who took my ticket if world as "Impeccable Dresser," was in his
her name really was Stage Manager. Stage is a unironed best. He wore some type of pants.
Page 22
The Myths Concerning Fble
.· L i By Keith Cr Smith
When Peter Molyneux, lead developer of paced combos and action. The enemies you face thing. You'll be requested for the same quests
Fable, claimed that his game was going to be the vary from the goblin-like hobbes to a massive and the story goes on without a hitch. Feel like
greatest RPG ever made, I was understandably. scorpion queen. All require different strategies turning over a new leaf and returning to the
skeptical. Still, I wanted to believe it so badly. and combinations of melee, ranged and magical light? Well, just dump a big enough wad of cash
The features he promised were so amazing, I techniques. on the church and that halo will be floating
couldn't help but to get excited. It truly sound- As you make use of the three tiers of overhead in no time (Maybe Fabletakes place in
ed as if someone was going to make a perfect attack, you will gain experience in their respec- 15th century England.)
game. Well, let that be a lesson in life friends. tive attributes; strength, agility and will. When It's a shame really. This game is really
There are no perfect games. That doesn't mean, you return to the guild for training you can good, but it's hard to overcome the impossibly
however, that this game isn't awesome nonethe- spend this experience to bolster stats and learn high standards that the creator set for it. The
less. new techniques. Your character ages about a environments are so well detailed and beautiful.
In Fable, you play the role of a young year each time you do this, and his appearance It's like walking through a 3-D storybook. The
boy living in the humble village of Oakvale. And changes subtly to account for his training. voice acting is dramatic and suits the characters
what happens to humble villages in RPG intros? well. The missions are quite intense at times.
They burn down! Bandits raze your village, During an escort mission of two merchants, I
murder your father and kidnap your sister and actually started to feel attached to them due to
mother. But it's you who they were after for their believable conversations and reaction to
some reason. Before they can add you to their danger. I began jumping in front of them at
hostage list, Maze, a potent wizard from the every sound in the distance. It was a rare gam-
Heroes Guild appears and transports you to the ing moment indeed.
guild. There you train to become a hero, and The sound helps this kind of mood set-
what you do with yourself after that is (more or- ting a lot. The music has a fairy tale theme but
less) up to you. it is adapted to the environments and situations
Once the hero is let loose upon the you enter without missing a beat. Monsters
world, you can choose which quests to under- cackle eerily in.the background of swamps and
take from a list that the guild provides. the clamor of each individual person can be
Sometimes you can choose between alternate heard within town.
sides of a story. Would you like to defend the I sometimes wonder if, had I not expect-
farm from pillaging bandits? Or does the profit ed so much, would Fable be a five out of five. If
involved with being a pillaging bandit-sound too you've managed not to hear the hype about this-
good to pass up? Sadly, this kind of choice only game, tell me what you think after you've played
appears rarely throughout the story. it. In any case, whether you enjoy action or role
You also can alter your appearance playing, this game will be very fun, if only for
through tattooing, hair styling, and eating. If- 20 hours or so.
you spend the daylight hours indoors, you'll The most anticipated aspect of this game Mr. Molyneux did apologize for his over-
grow pale and pallor. Work out your muscles a however, is its alignment system. Good or evil? promising and under-delivering on Fable. "I
lot and you'll become the spitting image of He- Murderer or defender? Pirate or yadda yadda didn't mean to do that," He told the BBC online,
Man. This also affects how people react to you. yadda... Well in a word, the alignment system of "If people feel upset by the fact that some fea-
Whether they back away in fear, or swoon at Fable is. %.meaningless. tures don't make it into the final game, I have to
your gaze. Yep! The big hoopla that everyone was be more responsible." Apology accepted, Mr.
Combat is innovative and allows a lot of waiting for has no real affect on the game. Sure Molyneux. Now go make some more great games!
versatility. You can switch quickly between you can grow horns and look all demonic by Just hold your tongue this time.
your melee and ranged weapons with a single murdering your wife and taking your grief out
button. and magic can be mixed in for some fast on hapless merchants, but it doesn't change a
rage zi
Elf
I ~· By Eddie Zadorozny
Candy, candy canes, candy corn and to its color scheme. Yet when Buddy steps out childlike, yet gawky elf, Buddy. The genuine
syrup, (some would say the typical American of the workshop into the outside against the charm Ferrell gives this character is felt
diet), are not only the basic four food groups for white wash scenery to embark on his journey to throughout the entire picture. You clearly
elves but are synonymous as being sweet and NYC, it is a visual treat, especially a very cute want Buddy to succeed in his endeavor and more
tasty which could also define the splendid film scene that plays homage to the Rankin and Bass so. Bob Newhart also shines as a no nonsense
Elf All its fattening confections of visual and bringing to mind those stop-motion clay anima- expressionless patriarch elf who's the polar
imaginative delight are what makes this film tion characters of the very charming and very opposite to Ferrell's character, who provides
quite enjoyable as well as clever and inventive. clever Christmas TV specials of the 1960's many of the comical moments of the film.
Will Ferrell plays Buddy the elf who as (Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Santa Claus is James Caan does a nice job as someone whose
a baby at an orphanage mistakenly climbs into coming to Town, to name a few). ideas and thoughts about Christmas arid the
Santa's toy sack where he is not discovered until Upon arrival in the city we get the basic importance of family transform from (shall I
he climbs out of the sack upon returning to the fish-out-of-water scenarios which are very say) Scrooge, complete with all the stereotypes
North Pole. From here, Buddy is raised by funny. One in particular has Buddy discover- of arrogance to a true believer in Christmas.
Poppa Elf (played by Bob Newhart) devoid of ing a diner that possesses the best cup of coffee. As for director Jon Favreau, he should be com-
any knowledge of his real parents, who gave him He eventually finds his father, Walter Hobbs, a mended for putting together a piece of celluloid
to the orphanage, or that he is actually human children's book editor played by James Caan. complete with its cute yet clever script, and
(thus explaining his having none of the trade- At first Walter does not believe or think much pacing it with very witty and lively scenes. All
mark elf traits). Then, when told of his previ- of this elf, yet DNA testing proves that this is connected with this film have a lot to be proud
ous life as an orphaned baby, Buddy sets out to the son he never knew and so he takes Buddy of for creating a film which down the road I'm
find out who his father really is. into his home where he lives with and tries to sure will turn into a Christmas holiday staple
The scenes with Poppa Elf and Buddy adjust to his new immediate family. The bond- as well as a classic.
showing his growth from infant to full grown elf ing scenes with Walter's family and Buddy are
and presenting the differences between Buddy again very humorous especially a dinner scene E If is rated PG for some mild language and rude
and the other elves are comical and show a flair where maple syrup seems to be the new condi- humor. Its running time is 1 hour and 35 min-
of wit. The scenery of Santa's workshop at the ment for flavoring. Aunt Jemima would be utes, and it was released by New Line Cinema.
North Pole where Buddy lives and works (which proud.
is obviously a studio set) is A sight to see due Will Ferrell is perfectly cast as the
5 6 7 9 10 11
Cake & The
The Eternals: Val Emmich Walkmen: Umphrey's Cake and
Knitting Factory Bowery Ballroom Starland McGee: Riddlin' Kids:
Ballroom Irving Plaza Northern Lights
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
The Pixies: E. Town The Slackers: It's AWonde rful Next
City
Hammerstein Concrete: Knitting Factory Lif rag irty:
Ballroom Knitting Factory Bowery Ballr oom-
Dec 11-18 Dec 18-19
The Pixies are pl ying!" he Pixies are laying! The Pixies ,sare playing! The ýixies are playing!
19 20- 21 24 25
It's A Wonderful The "I Don't Have a
Next Life: Elefant: Family to Visit" Tour
Dress Code: A .l
sweater with a knit cap Bowery Ballroom The Press Office
or scarf please Union Rm 060
26 27 28 a 31
The Fab Faux: String Cheese String Cheese H20 10th String Cheese
Bowery Ballroom . Incident: Incident: Anniversary Incident:
Dec 26-28 Madison Square Madison Square Show! Radio City
Garden Garden Knitting Factory
Page 24
10 Pimp My Rascal S.C
-1
AVery Nick and Jessica
il-Birth Abortion Spectacular
- ,, ·- II -I-
8
Don't Die From
These Snake Bites
Blood Swap
- -- ,· ··
Who Wants To Be
- Survivor
NCancer
Real World:
Astral Plane
-
--
My Big Fat Obnoxious Latently
-I3
Homosexual Red-Haired Bigot
. S
rage z
PHYSICS PHILOSOPHY
The cruel and powerful Thanos is in possession of the Infinity Thanos, the Mad Titan. He wrests control of the foundational pow-
Gauntlet; a glove which commands every aspect of our reality. ers of the universe, in order to construct an homage to death: a universe
Collectively, its six gems yield the power to create and destroy at the in which half the population is dead. Why this obsession with death? Is
bearers whim. Shrouded in mysticism, their versatility and elegant there something that drives him towards the embodiment of the end of
power are like nothing the world has ever seen. They're kind of like existence? It could be argued that since his youth he'd existed outside
Maxwell's Equations but a lot less hoitey-toitey. the realm of normal morality. Noting his stark differences between him-
Before we get into the physics of the gems though, I would like to self and the pantheon of titans he was born into, he was conditioned to
address everybody's favorite magical masquerader...Dr. Strange. He pur- view himself as the antithesis of these Grecian ideals. Whereas they
ports to be the world's most powerful magician but I claim that he is sim- represented eternal life and technological progressiveness, he would
ply a jerk. Under the guise of "doctor" he exploits the beauty of scien- delve into the bowels of the arcane and sinister and become a disciple,
tific discovery for his own personal gain, just because he can. For exam- and later lover, of Death.
ple, in the first issue of The Infinity Gauntlet series, Strange is sitting History, if we are to place any stock in the works of Nietzsche and
at a table, eating. What bothers me though is that he is levitating while Foucault, is full of dichotomous relations such as this. The Apollonian
there is a chair literally three feet to his left. And yet...he levitates. But against the Dionysian; The Existence through nature versus the control-
does he say that it is due to the electromagnetic interaction? Does he ling of nature; and Finally the Thanatos against the Eros. The concept
clarify that a wire of current is inducing a repulsive force equal and that interests us, almost intuitively, is the idea of the Thanatos, or the
opposite to that of the force of gravity? No. "It's magic," he says. I don't lover of death, as Thanos of our story owes his namesake as well as inspi-
know where this guy got his PhD but I can assure you that it was not at ration to this Greek Deity. Thanatos was a God birthed as an outsider
an accredited American university. amongst his kin. Unable to affect Gods directly, and only able to bring
Now that I got that out of the way, we can proceed. So Thanos cre- death to mortals, he existed as an outcast from both. The similarities
ated a citadel of sorts on a platform that was just floating in space. Fine. between these two characters, Thanos and Thanatos are almost cooking
Even though the platform was about the size of a mansion, it wouldn't pan in the face obvious.
have nearly enough mass to create a gravitational pull strong enough to The broad influence of philosophy in this story melds with both
allow anyone to remain standing on it. The effective escape velocity the subversive psychology of the character and the intrinsic physics of
would be .0 0 1M/S at most. The moment the Hulk's punch connected with the power involved. However, as I do not want to step on my fellow writ-
the purple Titan's jaw, he would have been ejected into the vacuum of ers toes, I shall curtail my discussion to the realm of philosophy only,
space, Gauntlet or no. Thus, the clear idea to approach here is the idea of dichotomies in gen-
Speaking of the vacuum of space, I'd really like to know how eral, as they spawned both Thanos as well as his mythical forefather. If
Firelord, the once herald of Galactus, keeps his staff and hair lit. I don't one reads into Nietzsche's, The Birth of Tragedy, we find that
care how cosmic your power is-there is not enough oxygen in space to dichotomies like this are what prppels mankind forward and allows them
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And speaking of Galactus as well as th destructive thing, but as a creative force.
entities, they combine their power in an onslau nt of view, one could argue that the exis-
to defeat Thanos. Imagine this scenario: physics ence of Thanos in the Marvel universe
exists. Upon firing their assorted weapons, each serves as a balancing agent amidst a
planet-sized defender would be propelled in the legion of heroes. An eternal yang to their
opposite direction. Given the magnitude of the bright ying. As most great villains he
blast, Galactus would not even see the fruits of serves as the antithesis of the heroes he
his labor since he would have been rocketed a fev s at odds with, however as the stakes of
million miles away. game he is playing happen to be univer-
And speaking of planet-sized defenders lomination, he is in opposition to a hero-
there is a part in issue four where the oversize eal, and not any specific hero. He stands
beings of sheer power meet to plan their assau Sopposite of the concept of sacrifice, the
against the evil Thanos. Gigantoid roll call!! Ther of the responsibility inherent in power.
Galactus, The Stranger, Lord Chaos, Master Order resting to note, in finality, that though
Living Tribunal, Eternity, Uatu the Watcher, be equivocated to the opposite of some
Love, Hate, Epoch the fledgling planet, and e also has some incongruities in his per-
Celestials, Lloyd and Frank. Although the mee almost redeem him, showing that the line
very productive, a problem remains. All of these ain and hero are a bit more tenuous than
including the disembodied heads of Lord Cha< St assume. His love for death is indeed
Master Order, are incredibly massive. Now we al ire, showing that in a heart of stone, some
that anything with mass experiences gravit of reverence can exist. Additionally, it
force and the more mass, the stronger the gravit that that the Mad Titan is typically the
these beings were all talking in a huddle, a prol or his own defeat. As he had in two prior
arises since gravity goes as the reciprocal of the ons as an almighty being, he let the
tance squared. I guess what I'm trying to say he p through his fingers due to his subcon-
that their meeting would inevitably end wi lief that he did not deserve it. However,
humongous group hug from which none could esc taps into issues involving psychology I
Even if Thanos kept the Infinity Gauntlet, I wo leave my piece at that, and turn it over to
feel a little safer knowing that hugs transcei baron of Freudian implication, Michael
physics. SBillings.
Page 26
1IIe nfin it - i]ltIFie -
PSYCHOLOGY
In The Infinity Gauntlet, the story revolves
around the aspirations of an immortal Demi-God named
L
Dear Slater,
Thanos of Titan. With a name like Thanos, one would
correctly suspect that he is utterly obsessed with My mother says I need to go find a job right after I graduate high school. I was all
death. In fact, Lady Death becomes the object of like, no, I want to have the summer off, and she was all like, well, no, you cin't, and now
Thanos's obsessive longing; an unrequited love that I'm all like, man, this sucks. I don't want to have to work at McDonalds flipping burgers
drives him to seek out the infinity gauntlet and become for some rude jerkoffs (can I say jerkoffs?) all summer. Please give me some advice.
the omnipotent controller of the universe. At least,
this is what the reader is led to believe; but it may be - Unemployed in Vermont
the case that Thanos did not seek Godhood out of love
alone.
Once the Infinity Gauntlet is acquired, the user Dear Unemployed,
has control over all that is; space, time, power, reality,
the mind, and the soul. With this much authority, the Alright, listen up Preppy. You say you don't want to work, and your
user would have a monopoly over every detail in the mom's telling you you have to. So what's the problem? Man, if I were you
cosmos.' While an obsessive desire to impress Lady I'd get my butt working right away. I know what you're thinking, though.
Death may be part of his motivation, another possibil- You want to try and trick her into believing you really have a job when
ity is that Thanos of Titan suffers from an aggrandized really you're only selling' chocolate for boy scouts. I'll tell you, it's not
version of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Although it going to work. Ah, but I'd love to see you try, Preppy. Fifty bucks says
may strike some as surprising that one of the most pow- you can't sell enough chocolate to convince your mother you have a job,
erful beings in the universe suffers from crippling and the loser has to wash the other person's underwear for a week. How
anxiety, one must simply examine the facts. In accor- does that sound? We're on.
dance with some of the criteria put forth in the
SDiagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders - Slater
(Fourth Edition: Text Revision), Thanos of Titan bla-
tantly displays a number of symptoms associated with
GAD.
First, Thanos demonstrates excessive anxiety
and apprehensive expectation through his relationship Dear Slater,
with Lady Death. From the commencement, his concern
has been to warm the frigid heart of the physical man- Hi. I work for a charity organization, completely non-profit. Yesterday someone
ifestation of mortality. While this in itself is not came in and accused me of being media-hungry and selfish, saying that giving away mil-
unusual, this intense yearning pervades every one of lions of dollars worth of toys for poor and underprivileged kids during Christmastime was
Thanos's actions to the point where he calculates every just a way to make people like me. How do I respond to this kind of ignorance?
move on the basis of whether or not Lady Death will be
any closer to submitting to his affections. In addition - Saddened in Ohio
to this, the reader learns that this is not a fledgling
crush. Since he dissected his mother while he was a
boy, Thanos has had an unnatural fascination with
death, and that fascination turned to love upon meeting Dear Saddened,
Lady Death herself. Judging from this, Thanos has
been experiencing this excessive anxiety and worry for I'll tell you something, babe. The only thing worse than a non-giver
well over 6 months, the requisite time frame needed for is someone who hates givers. You know what, though? I personally spoke
the diagnosis. with Jesus, and I think he'll give the Jews the holiday off if they confess
The second issue is that of control. Thanos to nailing him to that cross. I know Preppy wants to keep his mouth shut
obviously finds it difficult to control his worrisome about this, but I don't want to get in any trouble with the big guy. I say,
thoughts concerning Lady Death's feelings for him, so screw Zack and his little lapdog Screech. If they want to go on with it, they
he looks to exert his will over his external world rather can. I'm lettin' Jesus know. Oh, and if that ever happens again, just do
than over his internal feelings. This need for control what I do. Give 'em a taste of the ol' High School Football Knuckle
is precisely why Thanos has obtained the Infinity Sandwich, times two.
Gauntlet; exerting complete control of the universe is
an indirect means of feeling some semblance of inter- - Slater
nal control. Thanos also demonstrates symptoms of
being restless and oni edge, irritability, and difficulty
concentrating. The latter of the three becomes appar-
ent when he loses control of the gauntlet because of a
lapse in attention. Dear Slater,
Finally, Thanos's symptoms cannot be attrib-
uted to an Axis-I disorder or any substance abuse; and You ain't got shit on Christian Slater.
his anxiety has certainly impaired his social function-
ing since omnipotence actually caused Lady Death to - Gay on Long Island
resent him, thus eliminating his chance at a love life.
At this point it would be advisable for Thanos to seek
help in dealing with his disorder, and he should think Dear Gay,
about contacting the University Health Center.
Screw you. And while you're at it, screw your mother and all her
The Living Tribunal is: friends at the bridge club. And fuck your uncle, too. You prick.
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The Phrenology of World Series Night
I _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ I _ _ I _ _ _ _
By Frank Fusaro
This is the story of a journey, a journey fibers of every society since the first dock- Mayor Thomas Menino's Praetorian
that started in 1920 vhen Broadway producer, worker on the Euphrates River cried impotent- Guard was apparently taking no changes this
and owner of the Boston Red Sox, Harry Frazee ly, 'I could have been a contender.' Its heart is time as they lead there mounts strait through
sold first baseman/outfielder/pitcher George in the true celebration of human accomplish- the most concentrated groups as they trotted
Herman Ruth to the New York Yankees for ment. Whether it being in building a strong down towards Kenmore Square. The previous
$125,000 in cash and a loan of $300,000 which government that is respected beyond its bor- week's 'Pennant Riot' had resulted in 8 arrests,
Frazee used to open the wildly successful musi- ders, or the yearly sacrifice of a young virgin to over a dozen minor injuries, a flaming car, gate-
cal "No. No. Nannette!" at New York's Globe
.. .
-- ---7 -- " 77 ---
.. . . .- -. - . . . . . . . . . . .
crasher at Fenwav Park and the death of
Theatre in 1925. twenty-one year old Victoria Snelgrove. The
In the time Babe Ruth, as he became Emerson College undergraduate was struck in
known, played with the Red Sox (1914- the eye by a paint-ball style projectile filled
1920) he not only pitched the longest World with pepper-spray the night of October 2 0 th
Series game ever played; from beginning to shortly after the Sox won their 11th pennant,
end (1916). He also hurled a 6-hit shut out the first since 1986. Victoria became the
in Game 1 against the Chicago Cubs (1918). first fatality of the City of Boston's newest
In the eight years 'The Bambino,' as he was "Less Then Lethal" weapon in the on going
so dubbed by Boston fans, played for the fight with crowd control.
Red Sox they won four World Series. Of The paint-ball style weapons had
course The Bambino's record as a Red Sox been supplied to the force due to worries that
pales in comparison to the records he set as protests during the recent Democratic Nation
a New York Yankee. Convention might turn violent. But this
The matter may have ended there would mark its first use in an actual crowd
had it not been for the loosing streak the control situation. Police Commissioner
Boston Red Sox's would embark upon. The Kathleen O'Toole stated that while the Boston
worst part of which, was not the fact that PD "accepts full responsibility for the death
they're team couldn't win a pennant. In fact of Victoria Snelgrove" so-called "punks"
the Red Sox would spend the next 86 years were faulted for starting the riot. O'Toole
as just about the best ball club out there... followed by praising her officers for their
Just about. But every time they would get in "great restraint."
sight of that World Series trophv something O'Toole. not wanting a repeat of the
would happen. Always, just not good "punk" revolution, promised she would have
enough; Weather its Enos Slaughter stealing. reestablish alpha male dominance over the just about every office on duty for Game 4 of the
home in 1946 or the 16-strikout performanrce pride. It is spiritual. It is there to unite us. World Series. While Mayor Menino unable to
of, former Red Sox, Roger Clemens upon his A better equalizer then a few pints at shut down most of the bars in Boston, despite
return to Fenway Park, as member of the the local pub, a better drug then you can find several meetings with owners, outlawed TV cam-
Toronto Blue Jays (1997). The Sox just can't just about anywhere. Making all feel like chil- eras in all Boston Bars.
catch a break, thus the 'Curse of the Bambino' dren at Christmas, this connection, a corner- To the City's credit it was not caught
grew. stone of worship, is what brought out the anti- totally unprepared at the "Pennant Riot.". Video
True, or not. Deserved; or not. The Babe hymn on the corner Brighton Avenue and cameras had been added to the area around the
Curse became as famous as the Babe himself, Lansdown Street. It's what every pilgrim has Fenway Stadium, in hopes that they would deter
perhaps more so. And a rivalry, which has traveled here for, confetti in their hair and such incidents. This, of course, was not the
spanned almost a century, was born. So when on kisses on there cheeks. It's just as big a part of case. But the cameras were helpful in identify-
October the 2 7 t h the Boston Red Sox finally the night as the game itself. Yet before the ing students who took part in the riot. The
broke the 86 year-old curse, and swept the crowd could start a round of "The Spicy Mayor urged university officials to expel any
2004 World Series, it was no surprise to find a MaHaggis Jig" or shoot off any more fireworks students caught on tape, like Northeastern
choirs of "Fuck Babe Ruth!!!" being sung, some- the City of Boston's Police Department, in mili- University had done after a similar video caught
what drunkenly and out of tune, at the steps of tary like black "riot uniforms" batons at the students vandalizing cars and setting fires after
Fenway Park. ready and shields deployed for added protec- the Super Bowl.
In fact the euphoria, which surrounded tion, began to advance from behind the barri- Despite all the added protection 21
the park, and indeed extended down every cades that separated the faithful from the arrests were made on the night of October 2 7t h
street in town, was palpable. Walking form Promised Land (Fenway Park). Starting with the and 30 people were treated for minor injuries,
every direction they had come, high-fiveing and mounted police, ever popular in crowd control one of them a police officer. And at least one
hugging their way up to The Fen, as the park is since many of today's city dwellers are unfa- dumpster was set on fire. Though this time no
so affectionately known. Each hoping to share miliar with the temperament of horses, the offi- one climbed into Fenway Stadium to despoil the
their joy in a ritual older then baseball: The cers began to diffuse into the hordes of happy 93 year old ballpark. So Boston, finally having
After Party! fans who started a new, much braver, chant: completed its journey to the World Series, can
The After Party has its roots in the very "Fuck the Police!" rest... until next year that is.
+ TV SUCKS!
.*-34AI-iA .. TMAM·M `r 44L"r
Page 30
HOLY CRAP ITS A SPORTS COLUMN
By Sam Goldman
All this time I was missing hockey, I just Of course, the NBA Players Association was jostled by security. Artest's actions put a
should have been watching basketball. calls these penalties excessive and plans to large portion of the arena, which is supposed to
By now, even those who don't like sports appeal all three major Pacer suspensions be a family-and child-friendly atmosphere, in
have probably heard of the "Malice in the (Wallace has stated he would not appeal). Pacers serious jeopardy. Based on his bad-boy history,
Palace" (you know it's bad if they named it), the coach Rick Carlisle and GM Larry Bird have Artest should be forced to attend mandatory
brawl between the Indiana Pacers and a bunch publicly stated that they are "100%" behind counseling, and be suspended until such time as
of drunken fans in Detroit. But if you've been on Artest, and in interview after interview with a shrink says he's okay to continue playing ball.
the International Space Station or something... players, you hear the same thing: "I've never At the very least. And make it clear to him that
With less than one minute remaining in- been in a situation like that;" "The fans deserve if he doesn't become a mature individual, he can
November 19's 97-82 Pistons victory, Pistons some of the blame for it;" "I think their punish- go play in Europe.
All-Star forward Ben Wallace, who had been ment was too harsh." It's a damn shame that no player will
banging with Pacer players the entire game, got step up and speak out against that same kind of
a shove in the back from Indiana Pacer Ron behavior. Of course, it doesn't surprise any-
Artest, and snapped, lunging after him. He was body. Nor should it be surprising that the union
restrained by officials and teammates, while refuses to acknowledge that several of their own
Artest decided he would chill out by lying crossed the line. But it's no less revolting.
across the scorer's table. At this point, some Lastly, the fans. It is definitely common
idiot about 6 rows deep decided, "Hey, wouldn't knowledge that the skids of hooliganism are
it be cool if I hit him in the face with my bever- greased with sweet, sweet beer. Now, I love a
age?" and his friend said, "Yeah, that would be good brew as much as the next guy, but the serv-
AWWW-SUMMM!" Artest, being the calm, cool- ing of alcoholic beverages at sporting events is
headed individual that he is, immediately made not a God-given right. The NBA needs to seri-
a beeline for someone (which turned out to be ously consider the curtailing - or even banning
the wrong guy), tackled him and began to wail on - the sale of alcoholic beverages, but it won't
him. Teammate Stephen Jackson followed suit, because when you sell them 'at $6 a pop, it's
rearing back, and going buck-wild on the poor obviously a cash cow that no one can ignore.
lush. As Mike.Breen and Bill Walton ducked for A final thought: ESPN's Marc Stein sug-
cover and all hell broke loose, Pacer Jermaine gested an idea, which I happen to like, patterned
O'Neal was accosted by two more Detroit drunk- afte,r soccer games. You see, in soccer matches,
ards, shoved aside Palace of Auburn Hills secu- fans get punished for their hooliganismn by
rity and. tagged one of the two alkies with a right being locked out of matches by FIFA, the sport's
cross to the jaw. governing body. In fact, after boorish fan behav-
The aftermath of all this? David Stern, in ior, several important gaimes this year have been
a "one-to-nothing" decision, laid down the law. played in front of no one but the media, league
Artest is suspended for the season without pay. officials, and tens of thousands of folks dressed
If it stands (more dn that later), it would stand up like empty seats. If the Detroit Pistons' fans
as the largest suspension in NBA history, last- Shut up! can't control themselves, maybe they shouldn't
ing 73 games, and costing the former St. John's If anything, Artest's punishment was far get to watch their team. Lock them out of the
University star $5 million in lost wages, too light. Imagine if you will, a little girl with Palace of Auburn Hills and blackout the game
Stephen Jackson gets to sit out 30 games, O'Neal her father sitting next to the guy who got sacked from cable television. Paying for athletes to
gets 25 games for his Tyson imitation, Ben by Artest. Or if a little kid was in the front row entertain is a privilege, not a right, and the fans
Wallace gets 6 games, and a bunch of other folks and got run over by Jackson on the way, to need to be reminded of that.
get a game for leaving the bench. Artest's position. Or someone who is elderly
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Page 31
Weome to Parking 101: Where What and WI ien- -i By Lena Tumasyan
How many times have you driven to cam- Fall '00 to 57% Fall '03 Of course we must con- straight to my second class! Sorry for the sar-
pus in a rush trying to make it to your first lec- sider the fact that in Fall 2000 many dorms casm folks, but I need some more reliable places
ture on time, only to realize that there is not started going through renovations and the of free parking. How about North P lot? Hmmm,
enough space in the lot you wanted to park at. apartment complexes have not been built yet, looks good, and full at about 10:30am.
Then you end up rushing from lot to lot trying but as of right now, you still have only 1,400- Day six: the STADIUM LOT. The most
to find a spot, and VOILA the last one is controversial and newest parking lot for
taken? Then you have come to the right commuters, opened, THIS SEMESTER. If
place-PARKING 101. All the informa- you folks haven't heard, it right behind
tion you might need as to where, when, the Union and Sports Complex, and it's
and how to avoid getting a ticket. so easy to walk from there to the aca-
First you'll need to be intro- demic buildings. In fact, it takes me
duced to your instructor-I am a fellow about 5 or 10 minutes to get from that
commuter and have been driving/LIRR- lot to my class. YES, finally a lot that I
ing my butt over here for the past two do not need to take a BUS from! The
and a half years for 40 minutes (with- catch? It's full! There are 500 spaces
out traffic) in each direction. My cars and approximately 650 permits sold
have seen their share of nasty condi- (once again on the basis that ALL com-
tions, road kill, and concrete debris as muters won't be coming EVERY day, and
well as those nasty kids who cross the that people will leave and come
streets while talking on their cell throughout the day). Sure ok, I'll dig the
phone, sipping a "Starbucks" coffee, $75 semester charge ($125 for fall and
trying not to drop the five textbooks spring). And if you are commuter #651?
that they couldn't manage to fit into a Well, you get to he put on a waiting list
silly 'ol backpack, basically just BEG- for the pricey permit. Although it's not
GING for someone to run them over. the most expensive parking option when
Brats, PLEASE watch the road. I got my compared to the parking garages and
own things to worry about, so do the bus metered lots, dammit it's the most con-
drivers, and we only have TWO eyes to venient. I suppose I'm thankful that if
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Welcome to day two: entering and exit- 1,500 or so spaces (does not include apartment able to purchase the permit, then I have a pret-
ing the university. First, there are three parking which mostly grad students use). ty good chance at getting a spot in the lot. But
entrances from Nicolls Rd, also known as Route Barely enough for 1/4 of the current under- more people want to get in! Also, there is no
97: the South, Main, and North entrances. The graduate resident population! Yes, we know that preference between senior/freshman and grad-
South and Main entrances lead to the HSC freshmen are not allowed to have a car on cam- uate/undergraduate when purchasing the per-
(Health Science Center) as well as West Campus pus (except for special circumstances), and mits; it's first come first serve. So I suggest if
(or Main campus). The North entrance is right many students don't wish to have cars on cam- you guys really want to park there and are will-
by Route 25A and leads to the fields, North P pus. But many others STILL WANT PARKING. I ing to pay, then get in line early for next semes-
(Parking) lot, and parallel to LIRR. But there is suppose the only favorable part of all this is ter. Unless you bought a yearly permit, you will
also ,another entrance many of you have not that the resident permits are free and that you need to renew and spaces will be limited.
heard of- the nameless one that intersects with can be born lucky and find a spot. Day of judgment: the SB Police gives out
Stony Brook Rd (which leads north up to Route Day five: commuters! No, I did not leave 15,000 illegal parking tickets a year! Do not be
25A and south down to Route 347). It.is near the you last because it's university policy to ignore another statistic, for they really will TOW
Day care center and South P lot. our unimportant popiulation (43-42%). I'm not YOUR CAR. Actually, the money from the tick-
Day three: so now that you have a pret- sarcastic, I just know that those who come to ets (I was unable to find out exactly hose much
ty basic idea of your closest escape route-- campus only part of the day aren't considered as revenue it was) could be used to build another
here's a few tips in entering. If you enter from important as those who are here 24/7, 8months level in Garage lots, or the other lots. Here's
Stony Brook Road, you'll have a 20 or so minute a year. There's a lot to consider for the 5,700 or how: flat lots cost about $2,000 per space and
. -a. - - _ „ - -__i......„ - ,L .C " 11 " _.1- _:- "
ride up to the ESS lot or the SAC anytime so commuters. rirst o0 al.-wnere
between 8 and 9am. If you instead wish to con- your classes are, and secondly -
tinue straight along Martburger Drive (where how much dough you got to spend on
you entered from Stony Brook Rd) up to the parking. If you're only here for a
North P and LIRR lots, then expect more then class or two perhaps you wouldn't
just 20 minutes. The rest of the day should be mind paying hourly rates at the
fine, except for the faculty exodus at 4-5pm, metered parking lots (spread out
but hey the faculty have their own lots, which throughout campus and in lovely
are also closer to Nicolls Rd, so you shouldn't locations). If you're here for a whole
have that much of a problem. day, well that starts getting pricey.
Day four: where to park. Well, depends The cheapest parking? South P and
on whether you're a resident or commuter, North P lots-the permit is FREE.
undergraduate, graduate, or faculty/staff. That permit also includes a little
Faculty and staff (from your favorite professors part of the lot behind the sports
to your sandwich vendors, god bless the deli complex on Gym Rd, but from my
Gods) have FREE PERMITS in the BEST ZONES. If personal experience, it's full any-
you're a grad student or an undergraduate who time of day (and sometimes night).
is also a part time faculty you can buy monthly In total, there are approximately
parking permits in garages (such as the amazing 2,300 spaces in the North P, South
"Administration" garage near Javits). Each P, and gym lot combined. Hmmm...
garage is priced differently from $16 to $30, where do the 3,400 left over go?
depending on where the garage is; you can weli tney mignt or mignt not. I you
access more information by visiting don't have class, you might not come to the garages cost between $10,000 and $15,000 per
http://ws.cc.stonybrook.edu/facilities/tps/par University, or if you come to take care of some space. Although most tickets are between $15
king/garage.shtml. Graduates who live on cam- business you might opt to park in a metered and $25, taking an average of $20 per ticket,
pus get free parking next to' their apartment zone. And that's exactly what the university multiplied by the number of tickets given
complexes, such as Schomburg (they're brand- relies on- that commuters don't come on days equals $300,000 in tickets alone! Or we can
spankin' new and right behind Kelly) and they don't have class. According to Mr. Shertzer finally repair some of the pavement (repairs are
Chapin (behind the HSC). (director of parking), the South P lot is never needed in the North lots), or bus shelters!
Day four continued: Undergrad resi- full and rarely comes close to full. Well, gee, I Personally, I'd like to see a little bit of every-
dents, HA! You have it pretty bad. Allow me to feel lucky that just in case I spent half an hour thing.
elaborate...there are currently approximately driving around the northern and academic areas Recess: a few final hits and tricks.
7,500 undergrad residents on campus, up from of the university looking for a spot, I can go back Pssstt... you CAN park close to the buildings
about 6,000 in Fall 2000, AND you guys are down to he South P lot, take a 20 minute bus even without paying for a permit or meter - it
increasing steadily-from approximately 52% in back up to the buildings. And yay, I can go all depends on WHEN. If you came at or after
Page 32
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such as Glamour and Vogue. Bowie's numerous
hair transformations through the years are still
other musicians because was past everyone else in around. The sexual ambiguity of models traces
imitation is the key to terms of style and music. back to the androgyny of the Glam Rock Era. Is
success. Repetition is the All of the bands men- the model a male or a female? Both perhaps?
greatest definition of tioned were either dis- Cross-dressing has always been a famous pas-
today 's pop culture. Rap banded or kept a low-key time in the world of modeling. Kate Moss likes
music samples pop tunes profile in the 1980's. to wear jackets and men's pants. The macho,
incessantly in homage to Bowie was always ahead "don't mess with me look" in models today can'
its elders and the of the pack. The influ- be seen in Bowie's drug-addled period during
garage/art rock scene is a ence of the eighties pop the mid-70's. I can't think of one fashion
hi:nt ,of the heyday of sim- bands rolled on into the designer who doesn't respect David Bowie. The
ilar acts in the late 1970's techno and dance music cigarette dangling out the mouth only looked
and 1980's. Right away my of the 1990s and the cool with him. Cheap clothes on a man never
own mother said the look cycle continued. looked so good. That era also brought out a dif-
o f:the F ran:-- Fe rdinan d There is a well- ferent type of fashion statement. David Bowie
video "Take- -Me Out"' is known proverb that said wore boxed trousers and a tie on oversized jack-
extremely similar to the the clothes make the man. ets courtesy of Sears Roebuck! That was one of
Talking Heads with David In the early 1970's, the cheapest department clothing stores of the
Byrne. Prince -has made a Bowie defied this state- day and Bowie borrowed the look from the Latin
heavily awaited comeback ment with his flamboyant nightclubs and streets of NYC.
and his anmbiguous liook- look. He blurred the The side chain and the plaid shirts
and sound:reminds me of ai lines between homosexu- brought him down to Earth, making him more
mix :between Bowie and ality and -heterosexuali- relevant to the people. The cameras loved him
Jimi Hendrix. ty. He shocked parents too, which is a rare thing in the pop world.
So0me, say there are who saw him as just There always are the good and bad photographs
creators of certain genres. another gay drag queen. of celebrities, especially musicians. David
-r * . T
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in my opinion, Lou Ieed
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Bowie is always photogenic, whether he means to
and his work with the Velvet Underground and Hippy generation by giving them more visuals be or not. His pictures create a statement, espe-
after was the founder of grunge. Iggy Pop is the than just the sound. He believed rock music wa's cially on his albums. Ask the majority of rock
grandfather of punk while others say it was a pose. According to the book BOWIESTYLE, photographers and musicians and they'll tell
bands like the Sex Pistols and the Ramones. Bowie said, "You could arrange it anyway you you he has some of the most iconic imagery on
Ozzy Osbourne is the undisputed king of heavy liked it but in the end it meant something, it his album covers. Since most of us will never get
metal and hard rock with Black Sabbath and his said something." The glam rock scene had found a chance to do so, just look at Aladdin Sane,
solo work afterwards. -David Bowie however, is its undisputed leader. Diamond Dogs, or Low. The simplicity or the
the most influential solo white male pop artist David Bowie became a gay icon in the outlandishness of the covers has created rock
aside from Elvis. Depeche Mode and the Cure, early 1970's as well. He did something no rock music's most dynamic album covers.
Boy George of Culture Club fame, Spandau star would do, and declared that he was gay in It is true that David Bowie stole or bor-
Ballet, all of the synthesizer and technology 1972. 'Keep in mind this is before Elton John rowed from his icons and influences, but he had
bands of the 1980's came from him. and Freddie Mercury. No other rock star came to establish himself. The musicians, of today
His late 1970's work, the Bowie/Brian out of the closet before Bowie. He is in fact have taken what they needed from him, while
Eno trilogy in Berlin was the most inspirational bisexual; he screwed the girls and teased the some haven't. The lesson is to find the roots of
to those bands. Low, "Heroes," and Lodger cre- boys. His costumes consisted of boas, fishnet everything. Something as gargantuan as rock
ated a world where minimalist music was shirts, and he wore heavily applied makeup. He music culture needs to take a step back and dis-
accepted in fock.. Each album was 'half-com-' had a hairstylist and makeup artists with him cover their origins. Maybe they'll find them-
prised of quick, less than three minute pop and on tour, and fashion designers went to his con- selves along the way and give credit to where
the other half featured the newest technology of certs. credit is due. And David Bowie is one of the
the late 1970's. The second half, or B-side, was David Bowie's hairstyles alone helped exceptional few living rock stars who deserves
filled with synthesizers and arrangements con- influence the bands of the 1980's. The duck tail, that respect.
Page 3 3K
The Korean Life Media Club Thanksgiving/Spring break or the According their website, History Month, and has became so
(KLMC) had one of its first general winter intersession, and this is Chinese Association at Stony Brook well known that in the past co-
body meetings on Monday especially important to those stu- (CASB) is a cultural organization sponsors included the Student
September 20 in SAC 309 at dents who might otherwise feel that is dedicated to promoting the Government, the Chinese Studies
8:30pm. President Jun Kwan Park isolated over these breaks. KLMC Chinese culture throughout the Program, a campus newspaper, a
introduced the KLMC cabinet staff hope to move to a print format campus community by a variety of television station and even several
including VP Hyung Rae, at least once a semester starting activities, events, and programs faculty members.
Treasurer Jieun Lee, and Secretary sometime this fall or spring. (www.ic.sunysb.edu/Clubs/caslb/a CASB elections for the
Yoo Jung. He also explained the The Korean Life Media Club bout.html). CASB met that mission positions of Treasurer, Treasurer
role of the KLMC in providing currently has no formal, or even with events this fall that included Trainee, Public Relations
Korean cultural ties to the campus informal, ties to the Asian the October Sports Day and Picnic Representatives, Social Chair,
community over the roughly past American Journal or other campus on the Physics Lawn, the November Events Coordinators, and
two years it has existed. The media outlets. While KLMC Texas Hold 'em Poker Tournament Webmaster were quite distinctive.
Korean Life Media Club is an out- President Jun Kwan Park also has (apparently there was a lot of All open positions had multiple
growth of the weekly radio show on not formed an opinion about work- interest so pre-registration was candidates, and one indicator of a
WUSB, Korean Life Radio. The ing with the Asian Students required), and the December "healthy" club is the abundance of
radio show has well served not Alliance (ASA), Korean GSO mem- Singing Contest/Banquet. people who want leadership roles.
only the campus community but bers, or with the Long Island At CASB's first general As is usual the candidates came
also the-Long Island Korean and Korean-American business com-. body meeting on Wednesday before the room. Not some, but all
Korean American community for munity, there is one event that September 29 in Stony Brook Union candidates declined to give a
over 20 continuous years. This definitely has his attention-Korea 236, the meeting started promptly speech. In contrast to this unique
great and long standing tradition Night. This annual spring event by at 8:30pm when President Richard occurrence, CASB used the same
of Stony Brook University is now the Korean Students Association Chang introduced the CASB cabi- voting method as many other cam-
hosted by DJ Jong Lee, and says of (KSA) may be the single largest net including VP Jeff Hsu, pus organizations known for their
the show, "We're cool!" Korean cultural event held at Treasurer Tom Mui, Secretary electoral rectitude and adherence
The Korean Life Media Club Stony Brook University or perhaps Jenny Lui, Public Relations Ting: to principle, the secret auditable
currently publishes at the website even all of Suffolk County. More Ng, and Events Coordinator Dave ballot. In a secret auditable ballot,
www.koreanlife.org, and is thus details about Korea Night will be Lee. After a fun "bingo" style ice voter choices remain anonymous
promoting Stony Brook University reported in the spring. For now breaker, "Up Till Dawn" gave a yet a paper trail allows the vote to
to a worldwide audience. While President Jun Kwan Park says that brief presentation about Saint be inspected, audited, and if need-
the home page is in English, as you KLMC is "looking for new mem- Jude's Children's Hospital. Next ed recounted. The states of Ohio,
might imagine much of the site is bers." So whether one is Korean, came event planning, elections, Florida, Georgia, and quite a few
available in Korean, but is compat- studied Korean at the Defense food, and a raffle of a Care Bear. more could learn a lot from CASB's
ible with many web translators Language Institute (DLI), or just The ice breaker was a game elections.
such as babelfish.org or have an interest in Korean lan- where one had to find a person to These high standards of
http ://babelfish.altavista.com/tr guage and culture, the Korean Life sign a box on a bingo sheet that had voting may be a result, or perhaps
although you do need the proper Media Club and Korean Life Radio an adjective or phrase that the cause, of CASB's achievements
character set installed on your are Stony Brook University's, and. described the person, e.g. no class- in producing campus leaders.
browser. Activities featured on now the world's, information es on Friday, has a tattoo, is a vet- Leaders such as 2000 Freshman
the site include the radio show (of sources on Korean culture. eran, etc. There was some con- representative Lucy Kim, or 2000
course), school life, off campus tention as to whether a local cater- Sophomore Representative. Kimme
events, monthly barbeques, camp- er such as Yin-Yang should cater Chin were the first ever Asian
ing trips, etc. Special activities the December event,. but since no American students to win a cam-
are also regularly planned over one volunteered to drive to pus wide position on the student
Flushing to get food from contend- government council. Lucy Kim and
ing food providers the matter was Kimme Chin are history-making
resolved. Discussion of fall events trailblazers who, in part, paved the
led to plans for spring including a way for others. In a university
February Valentines Dance with with the largest Asian and Asian
other groups including but not. American undergraduate popula-
limited to ASA, PUSO, and KSA. tion on the East Coast, both as a
Also mentioned were a March percent and in total numbers, it itis
Volleyball Tournament, a May likely that we can we expect more
BBQ, and, of course, CASB's big record setters from CASB in the
event of the year China Night-a fun future. Kimme Chin states, "I love
filled evening of cultural acts, my club. I've devoted 4 years of my
singing, dancing, and a fashion life to CASB. You grow in the posi-
show. China Night is held each tions. You learn."
April during Asian American
P.U.S.O. stands for Philippine United 2004 issue of The Stony Brook Press in an arti- that they identified with, or identified with
Students Organization, but it could also stand cle titled Racism at Stony Brook University, most heavily. After groups had gathered around
for "Another Club that Does Everything Right." candidates from certain backgrounds reported the words, President Baga then asked people
P.U.S.O. meetings have sign up sheets at the difficulties getting on the ballot for USG posi- why they identified themselves with a given
door, ice-breakers, warm ups, consciousness tions. Nevertheless, Lozano persevered and ran word and what they thought the word meant. He
raising exercises, videos of prior year's events, for USG Freshman Representative despite what then explained some of the favorable and unfa-
tryouts for participatory events and shows, and may have stood in his way. The number and vorable origins and/or history of certain words
a generally positive and welcoming mood set strength of candidates within and from P.U.S.O. and identities. People were then asked if they
largely by the P.U.S.O. officers. Monday night is a strong indicator of the level of vibrancy and wanted to change where they stood. Indeed,
P.U.S.O. meetings on the third floor of the SAC strength of the Philippine and Philippine quite a few people did change their position
are open, raucous, and lively, yet they are still American community at Stony Brook once they were enlightened, informed, and edu-
effective-on a level similar to other campus University. cated about the nature and origin of certain
organizations known for their adherence to After the elections at the second P.U.S.O. words and identities.
democratic principle. Indeed, it may be the meeting, a video of some of last year's events was While P.U.S.O. doesn't yet have the
only campus organization whose webpage solic- shown including outtakes from Stick Fighting, worldwide media reach of WUSB, Korean Life
its criticism with the goal of continuous Hula Dancing, and the Coconut Dance. These Radio, or Korean Life Media Club (KLMC),
improvement. Time is allotted at the end of videos highlighted some of the best parts of last P.U.S.O. awakens change on a level similar to
every meeting to offer comments, suggestions, year, and were a great motivator. At one point Malik Sigma Psi (Maliks). While P.U.S.O. hasn't
and criticism (www.ic.sunysb.edu/Clubs/puso). in the Hula Dance video someone shouted, yet produced campus-wide leaders on the level
At the first P.U.S.O. meeting, P.U.S.O. "That's your Secretary!" and some laughter fol- of the Chinese Association at Stony Brook
President Steve Baga had an ice-breaker where lowed. The Coconut Dance was one of the zani- (CASB), P.U.S.O. meetings have audio-visual
people formed small groups to create ideal pick est, most humorous things this writer has ever aids and warm-ups as good as the Vietnamese
up lines. One can imagine the humorous' seen. Because the Coconut Dancers did their act Student Association (VSA). Similar to the
results. At the second meeting, light refresh- with 100% deadpan seriousness, a dance that Asian Students Alliance (ASA), P.U.S.O. ener-
ments were served, and P.U.S.O. used a more tra- would have been just funny and goofy became gizes the University community. On a level
ditional ice-breaker where people went around hilarious and zany. A further description of similar to Club Om, P.U.S.O. informs, enlight-
the room and stated their name, major or year, the Coconut Dance is beyond the capacity of ens, and educates.
and what they wanted to get out of club P.U.S.O. words; it has to be seen to .be believed. P.U.S.O.fs final event of the 2004 year is
or something they like. This went over well and Immediately after the videos, the meeting the 10th Annual Filipino Mass. It will be on
served to reinforce the prior week's welcoming ended, and there were tryouts for this year's Sunday December 5 at 5pm (sharp) in the Wang
mood. P.U.S.O. events and activities in the Union Center. This year marks the first time that this
In the fall of 2004, P.U.S.O. had an over- Fireside Lounge. Not surprisingly there were special event will be held in the Wang Center.
abundance of people who wanted to take leader- plenty of people who wanted to use their limit- All are welcome, and appropriate dress is sug-
ship roles both within and outside of P.U.S.O. ed free time preparing for a P.U.S.O. tryout or gested. P.U.S.O.'s final regular meeting will be
For example, at the second meeting when event. on Monday December 6 in the SAC 306 at 8:30
P.U.S.O. elections were held, essentially every One of the P.U.S.O. meetings included a pm. Again, the meeting is open to everyone, and
open position had multiple candidates. game where signs were put up on the walls with is usually quite fun. If P.U.S.O. and other such
Likewise, one P.U.S.O. member, Byran Lozano, words that people might use to describe them- clubs are any indicator, Stony Brook
ran for USG Freshman Representative, a campus selves including Philippine, American, Philip, University's student life this spring will be
wide position. As stated in the November 17, Pnoy, Pinoy, etc. People then stood by signs quite interesting.
ASA:
Club Om:
Maliks:
PUSO:
Hybrid Cars
By Keith C. Smith:
With gasoline prices at an all time high, barely broke 15,500 that year. government offers a tax credit for buying a.
consumers are paying more attention to the fuel "I just thought it wasn't for me," said one hybrid that nearly makes up the price differ-,
efficiency of their prospective car purchases. motorist about not buying a hybrid car in 2001, ence. I asked if he thought that the increase inj
Some people are looking for the most "The hybrid cost a lot more, and I figured I'm gas prices has affected hybrid sales. He said
horsepower in a car. Others seek out the most not really changing the environment much by "Definitely.,"' /t.
comfortable car. But as the number of people driving it." The success has grown so much/that thei(
seeking the most fuel efficient cars rises Honda In 2002, sales didn't vary greatly. "With Automotive Club of.New York has nained 2004JJ-
and Toyota have both generated fuel efficient gas prices at historic lows, the cost of fuel is not the "Year of the Hybrid". A statement support--!
alternatives to conventional cars. as important as many other vehicle characteris- ed by the 2004 North American International
One such alternative was the diesel tics, such as towing and safety features," said Auto Show in Detroit. This year's show present-.!
engine car. It provided better gas mileage than Ron DeFore, a spokesman for the Coalition for ed a flood of new hybrid entrants. They includ-,i
any conventional compact car, yet it did not sell Vehicle Choice. ed SUVs, pickup trucks, and family cars from
vety well. Newest on the scene are cars utilizing However, 2003 changed all that when five different manufacturers. The coup de grace.
brth a ronnprntion 1 ar c Ame.rica we.nt to war in came when a hybrid car, the Prius, was named&
powered engine and an the Middle East. "The car of the year.
electric motor. These tightness of the crude David Friedman, research director of the*
"hybrid" cars offer even [oil] market has trans- Clean Vehicles Program at the Union of
greater fuel efficiency ferred itself to products Concerned Scientists stated, "Five years ago,.,
than diesel cars did. The in the States," said inde- most American consumers didn't know what a:^
technology works by hav- pendent energy consult- hybrid was. Now, one is named Car of the Year."
ing the gas motor shut off ant, Geoff Pyne. Still, some manufacturers have not been;:
completely when the car According to the Energy taken in by the success and are holding off on::
is at a stop. The electric Information Association, making their own hybrid models. "The best.*
motor takes over and the the average price of place for hybrid technology is larger vehicles.;.
car runs exceptionally unleaded regular gasoline 'We want to start big," says Ken Stewart, General-:
smooth. During stop-and- rose to 98.1 cents per gal- Motor's marketing director for new ventures,
go traffic, which accounts lon, from 80.6 cents just a including hybrids. GM intends to produce the:i,
for most of the driving year prior. It changed the first hybrid SUV by 2007. GM hasn't been`.
done in large cities, the way people shopped for totally absent from the hybrid market. True to,
electric motor continues venicies. their word of making larger hybrids, they have-
to move the car. Only when the vehicle reaches "You have to wait a year just to get one been working on some of the largest ones iri
speeds of 15 mph or more does the gas motor now," said one Toyota dealer when this reporter America...Buses. GM has been producing hybrids
take over. The Honda Civic Hybrid, for example, asked about buying a Prius. "We get our stock in buses that are about 60 per-cent more fuel effi-
will give you 51 miles per gallon of gas, as com- September and by May they're gone." cient than the, diesel buses that came beforeor
pared to it's non-hybrid version which gets A Honda dealer told this reporter about them. By the end of 2004, GM hopes to have 270`"
about 30 mpg. the type of people who buy his hybrid cars. hybrid'buses in service.
When Toyota Motor released the first in "They are mostly educated people. They do the The continued success of the hybrid no:
their line of hybrid cars, the Prius, in June, research and come here knowing they want to longer relies on the fluctuating price of crude'
2001, Toy ota President Fujio Cho made a pre- .help the environment and to save money." When oil. "People have gotten the incentive they need-i: .
diction. He said that cumulative sales of the asked about the $2,000 price difference' ed to learn more about [hybrids]," one Honda.
company's hybrid vehicles would hit 300,000 between the hybrid and conventional engine dealer told me, "Now that they know what a
by 2005. This prediction did not look as if it model, he told me that you will save that much superior product it is, in ten years they will be
would come to fruition when sales of the Prius in gas within two to three years. In addition, the everywhere."
Iraq War, was due to his values. Exit polls of By playing with the pro life. Bush may say he is pro
Bush voters proved this theory. Kerry also stood concept of making. his life and yet he still has not
for values, such as raising the minimum wage, religious beliefs the law apologized for an unjustified
improving the environment, and supporting of the land, by amending war. Perhaps he may have been
civil unions. If values were such a determining the Constitution, he is advised wrong, but he is the
factor,' why did Bush win? violating values America Commander-ii-Chief. He should
Bush wants to ease restrictions on pollut- has stood for. The United apologize for following bad
ing companies and limit the amount of money States has been viewed as advice, being the supposedly
people could get if their doctor is iricompetent exemplary for its recog- moral person he is. Bush can not
and they sue the doctor. Some people may say nition of egalitarianism. say he is pro life while making
that medical malpractice suits only benefit rTik ;
Il sI
i
eel 11e
f
I
h
is1 a
, k
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a n
n I, harde.r fo'r thea pelde.rlv to get
it
"greedy trial lawyers.". Trial lawyers can be as justified by a Constitution that values the right life-saving prescriptions. Not all eighty year
greedy as journalists, doctors, or any other for people to pursue happiness, as long as their old men and women still work; in fact, most are -
occupation for that matter. They may also be as actions do not present a clear danger to other retired. Bush wants people to invest in health
honest as any honest doctor or journalist. Bush citizens. savings accounts, but could a grandma who has
uses stereotypes, such as the greedy trial Jesus, who is purportedly Bush's favorite been retired for thirty years and shops at Key
lawyer, or the gay couples bent on destroying philosopher, was compassionate. I wonder what Food invest in such an account?
.
the institution of marriage. Marriage is already Jesus, a friend of lepers and prostitutes, would I hope Bush could become the compas-
in decay, if you think about adultery, spouse say to him about this? I doubt Jesus would sup- sionate conservative he said he was when he was
abuse, or divorce. These problems afflicting the port amending the Constitution to restrict originally running for the presidency in 2000.
institution of marriage existed before the "fad" rights, rather than increase rights like amend-. Perhaps he will be the uniting president that he
of gay marriage began. ments usually do. still promises to be. Hopefully, these senti-
By capping the amount of money people The values of equality and fairness tend to ments are not pipe dreams.
can get from doctors who permanently disfigure be values Democrats stand for.
Page 39
IHuiiiirtgiry fr Accp tafce Tahrvig f2Ir Airt?
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Page 40