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Fanboy and Chum Chum

Record Draft

FB 113
“PG Movie”
by Eric Horsted
6/09/08

DISTRIBUTION:

Michael Caine, Megan Casey, Shaun Cashman, Audrey Diehl, Kelley Gardner, Brandon Hoang, Dean
Hoff, Eric Homan, Eric Horsted, Kevin Kolde, Scott Kreamer, Jason Meier, MacGregor Middleton,
Roland Poindexter, Ilana Resnik, Eric Robles, Jim Schumann, Fred Seibert, Brian Sheesley, Steve
Tompkins, Therese Trujillo, Blanca Uribe

___________________________________________________________________________________________
Copyright 2008, MTV Networks, a division of Viacom Inc. All Rights Reserved.
This script is the property of MTV Networks and may not be copied or distributed without the express written permission of
MTV Networks. This copy of the script remains the property of MTV Networks. It may not be sold or transferred and it must
be returned to MTV Networks promptly upon demand. THE WRITING CREDITS MAY NOT BE FINAL AND SHOULD NOT BE USED
FOR PUBLICATION OR ADVERTISING PURPOSES WITHOUT FIRST CHECKING WITH THE MTV NETWORKS' BUSINESS AND LEGAL
AFFAIRS DEPARTMENT.
Fanboy and Chum Chum
“PG Movie”
FB113

Cast List

Fanboy ...................................................................................................David Hornsby


Chum Chum.......................................................................................... Nika Futterman
Boog / Mr. Mufflin / Chimp Chomp Machine........................................... Jeff Bennett
Oz.............................................................................................................Josh Duhamel
Oz’s Mother.............................................................................................. Estelle Harris
Lenny..........................................................................................................Wyatt Cenac
Michael Johnson .....................................................................................................TBD
FB 113 "PG Movie" Record Draft - 6/09/08 1.

EXT. MOVIE THEATER - NIGHT

START ON A GIANT INFLATABLE MONKEY. PULL BACK TO REVEAL the


monkey’s on top of a MOVIE THEATER MARQUEE that reads “WORLD
PREMIERE! CHIMP CHOMP: THE MOVIE.” The monkey holds a LARGE
BANANA-SHAPED DIGITAL CLOCK counting down, below it is text
reading “UNTIL TICKETS GO ON SALE!”

WE PAN down a line of shivering, miserable CUSTOMERS,


SPEEDING to a blur until we stop on a blank space. CHUM CHUM
and FANBOY’S heads pop into frame. They’re wearing SILLY
FLOPPY MONKEY CHIMP CHOMP HATS.

1 FANBOY
I can’t believe our town was picked
for the world premiere of “Chimp
Chomp: The Movie.” And tickets go
on sale in only ten hours, five
minutes, and twenty seconds!

2 CHUM CHUM
Hm, I have ten hours, five minutes,
and twenty-four seconds.

We see Chum Chum wears a scaled-down version of the giant


chimp clock around his neck.

3 CHUM CHUM (CONT’D)


I guess my chimp must be off.

4 FANBOY
If the movie’s anywhere near as fun
as this line, I don’t think I can
take it!
(swooning)
Oh, I’m feeling faint. Quick, I
need a Chimp Chomp product tie-in.

Chum Chum searches in a CHIMP CHOMP TOTE BAG.

5 CHUM CHUM
We’ve got Cherry Chewy Chimps,
Monkey Bites, and Ape Drapes.

6 FANBOY
Cherry Chewy Chimp, and I’ll wash
it down with Vanilla Gorilla.

Fanboy opens a VANILLA GORILLA juice box.

ANGLE ON THE BACK OF THE LINE: MR. MUFFLIN steps into line
pushing a GROCERY CART.
FB 113 "PG Movie" Record Draft - 6/09/08 2.

7 MR. MUFFLIN
I sincerely doubt everyone here has
ten items or less... Whoa!

Mr. Mufflin is tossed aside by an unseen force. All of a


sudden KIDS start flying in all directions. REVEAL BOOG
knocking kids out of the way with an GIANT INFLATABLE DONKEY
KONG-STYLE MALLET.

8 BOOG
Bop! Bop! 200 points! Bop! Bop!
400 points. There ain’t no
stoppin’ this chimp when he’s
boppin!

ON FANBOY AND CHUM CHUM, ready to bite into their CHERRY


CHEWY CHIMPS.

9 CHUM CHUM
Mmm, I love these. Their brains
squirt real fruit juice when you
bite ‘em.

The boy are poised to take a bite when... Boog leans in from
SCREEN LEFT and <GOBBLES> up Chum Chum’s Cherry Chewy Chimp.

10 BOOG
Your chimp’s been chomped!
(bites Fanboy’s)
Ooh, double chomp! Bonus points!

11 FANBOY / CHUM CHUM


<disappointed “Awww”>

12 FANBOY
(weak enthusiasm)
Oh, look who’s here. It’s Boog.
What brings you out this fine
evening?

13 BOOG
Are you kidding me? Chimp Chomp’s
my life.

14 CHUM CHUM
I thought delivering knuckle
sandwiches was your life.

15 BOOG
That’s more of a hobby. But I’m
thinking of going pro!

He raises a fist to Chum Chum, who flinches. Boog <LAUGHS>.


FB 113 "PG Movie" Record Draft - 6/09/08 3.

16 FANBOY
Well, don’t let us keep you. I’m
sure you have places to go, people
to shove.

17 BOOG
Well, I was gonna cut my way to the
front, but then I figured, why go
looking for fresh underwear when
the wedgies are ripe right here?

Boog grabs the boys by their underwear and lifts them up to


his face.

18 BOOG (CONT’D)
Don’t struggle, it only makes it
tighter.

19 FANBOY
Are you sure you wanna stay? I saw
a nice pale kid up front. It looks
like he’d bruise easily.

20 BOOG
Nah, I think I’ll hang here. And
hang you here. <dumb Boog laugh>
Boog hangs them off of nearby exposed NAILS in the wall.

21 CHUM CHUM
Only ten hours, four minutes, and
twenty seconds left!

22 FANBOY
(weakly)
I’m sure it’ll fly by.

EXT. MOVIE THEATER - LATER

CLOSE ON BOOG, telling a long story and twisting an ear on


both Fanboy and Chum Chum. They grimace in pain.

23 BOOG
...Yeah, I auditioned for the role
of Chimp Chomp. But the costume
wouldn’t fit around my buffed-out
biceps.

He flexes his arms, lifting the boys off the ground and
causing their bodies to spin around like propellers. Boog
rises in the air for a beat.
FB 113 "PG Movie" Record Draft - 6/09/08 4.

24 BOOG (CONT’D)
Hoo! I totally got mad air!

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. MOVIE THEATER - LATER

Boog clears a patch of grass with his hand. He grabs


Fanboy’s head and begins screwing his body into the ground
like a golf tee.

25 BOOG
...I don’t mean to brag, but I’ve
been approached by some sponsors to
play Chimp Chomp professionally.

Boog grabs Chum Chum and molds him into a “golf ball” and
places him on top of Fanboy’s head. He grabs his inflatable
mallet.

26 BOOG (CONT’D)
But I don’t know if I want to give
up my amateur status. You know, in
case Chimp Chomp becomes an Olympic
sport.

He swing and knocks Chum Chum of the “tee”.

400 YARDS AWAY / EXTREME FOREGROUND:

Chum Chum lands right into an open MANHOLE. In the DEEP BG,
tiny Boog pumps his fist.

27 BOOG (CONT’D)
Alright! Hole in one!

EXT. MOVIE THEATER - LATER - MORNING

ON BOOG, finishing his monologue while preparing to give the


boys a massive wet willie.

28 BOOG
(wetting finger)
...So therefore...

Boog pulls out his wet finger and inserts it in Fanboy’s ear.

29 BOOG (CONT’D)
...the soul is really just one
small part of a greater cosmic
energy.
FB 113 "PG Movie" Record Draft - 6/09/08 5.

Boog’s finger continues moving, poking through Fanboy’s other


ear (as Fanboy follows with his eyes). The finger continues,
entering Chum Chum’s ear and poking out through the other
ear. The boys look repulsed.

30 BOOG (CONT’D)
And that energy flows through each
one of us, uniting us with a common
humanity...

31 FANBOY
(noticing clock, excited)
Hey, the big banana’s at zero!
Tickets are on sale!

The boys slide themselves off his finger like meat cubes off
a shish kebab and RUSH to the TICKET WINDOW. LENNY is in the
booth. He’s dressed as a GIANT BANANA.

32 LENNY
Welcome to Galaxy Hills Theater.
How can I serve you today?

33 FANBOY
Well, Leonard, you can start by
following the official Chimp Chomp
The Movie Premiere script.

34 LENNY
<exasperated groan, then>

He begrudgingly launches into a scripted SONG AND DANCE


similar to Jock Jam’s “Get Ready For This.” The boys groove
along with him.

35 LENNY (CONT’D)
Ya’ll ready to Chimp?
Chimp-cha-chimp-cha-chimp-Chimp-
Chomp. Hey!
Chimp-cha-chimp-cha-chimp-Chimp-
Chomp. Ho!
Chimp-cha-chimp-cha-chimp-Chimp-
Chomp. Yay!
Chimp Chomp!
(back to normal)
Aw, now my peel’s all sweaty.

36 FANBOY
Well, chimpin’ ain’t easy. Now,
two for tonight’s screening,
please.
FB 113 "PG Movie" Record Draft - 6/09/08 6.

37 CHUM CHUM
Don’t forget. We need to get one
for Oz.

38 FANBOY
Oh, that’s right. Three tickets,
please.

39 LENNY
(handing tickets)
Thank you.

They grab the tickets, their eyes wide with wonder.

40 CHUM CHUM
<gasp> Our tickets.

41 FANBOY
Let’s see how they glisten in the
sun!

They step off to the side. Boog approaches the window.

42 BOOG
(calling to boys)
Don’t run too far, you two. I want
to flatten you into pancakes, and
then go get some waffles.
(to Lenny)
Yo loser, gimme--

He turns back to the ticket window just as Lenny puts up a


“SOLD OUT” SIGN.

43 LENNY
Sorry, sold out. No more tickets.

44 BOOG
What? No more tickets?? Where’d
they all go?

ANGLE ON MR. MUFFLIN pushing his shopping cart full of MOVIE


TICKETS down the street.

45 MR. MUFFLIN
(muttering to self)
Boy these coupons cost an arm and a
leg. But I’m sure they’ll save me
money in the long run.

BACK ON BOOG: He clings desperately to the ticket window.


FB 113 "PG Movie" Record Draft - 6/09/08 7.

46 BOOG
(pleading)
But-- but-- but I gotta see the
Chimp Chomp movie! Chimp Chomp is
my whole life. I played it every
single day, on accounta I grew up
in a plastic bubble. Can’t you
give me a ticket pleeeease?!

47 LENNY
Sorry. They bought the last three.

He points to Fanboy and Chum Chum.

ON FANBOY AND CHUM CHUM as the hold their glistening tickets


up to the light.

48 FANBOY
Look at how the sun glints off the
perforation.

OZ approaches the boys.

49 OZ
Hey little dudes.

50 FANBOY
Perfect timing, Oz. We got your
ticket!

51 OZ
Ooh. I have some seriously bad
news. I forgot I promised to take
my mom to the Westminster Goat
Show.

REVEAL OZ’S MOTHER riding MITZI THE GOAT.

52 OZ’S MOTHER
Let’s go, Ozvald. We want to get
there early so Mitzi can mingle.

53 OZ
<sigh> Coming mother.

Oz jumps on Mitzi and she SPEEDS OFF like a dragster, peeling


out and leaving plumes of SMOKE that fills frame.

54 CHUM CHUM
(calling after)
But Oz, what do we do with your
ticket?
FB 113 "PG Movie" Record Draft - 6/09/08 8.

Suddenly Boog pops into frame between them.

55 BOOG
Hey fellas, nice to see ya. Chum
Chum you’re looking well. Look
boys, here’s the thing. I need you
two twerps to sell me your extra
ticket.

56 FANBOY
You didn’t get a ticket?

57 BOOG
I know. It’s crazy, right? So
whaddya say I just take your --

Boog reaches for the ticket, but Fanboy passes it to Chum


Chum.

58 FANBOY
Chum Chum, quick -- load it and
lock it!

Chum Chum quickly stuffs the ticket down the front of his
underwear and spins a COMBINATION LOCK dial.

59 BOOG
Aw, c’mon guys! I’ll do anything!

Fanboy and Chum Chum share a sly smile.

60 FANBOY
You know Chum Chum, maybe it’s all
those wet willies, but I thought I
just heard Boog say he’d do
anything for this ticket.

61 CHUM CHUM
Anything?

62 BOOG
Anything you want!

63 FANBOY
How ‘bout everything we want?
Boog looks up to the giant Chimp.

64 BOOG
(pained)
Only for you.
FB 113 "PG Movie" Record Draft - 6/09/08 9.

INT. CLASSROOM - DAY

MR. MUFFLIN is in front of the class as Boog appears in the


doorway carrying Fanboy and Chum Chum, who each sit regally
on the palms of Boog’s hands.

65 BOOG
<makes horn noise> Hear ye, hear
ye! Presenting the most radical
King of all that’s Awesomely Sweet,
Fanboy! And his main man, the High
Duke of Funkadelic-ness, Mixmaster
Chum Chum!

He places them in their desks.

66 BOOG (CONT’D)
There. Piece of cake.

67 FANBOY
Good. Now the other thing.

68 BOOG
Aw, c’mon.

69 CHUM CHUM
(waving movie ticket)
Ticky ticky ticky!

70 BOOG
Awww.
(to class)
Also, I like to make poopy in my
diaper.

71 CLASSMATES
<uproarious laughter>

72 FANBOY
(baby talk)
That’s my little Boogie Boo. Now
here’s Boogie’s widdle binky.

Fanboy puts a PACIFIER in his mouth.

73 BOOG
(self pity)
I used to rule this school. <sucks
pacifier>
FB 113 "PG Movie" Record Draft - 6/09/08 10.

EXT. SCHOOL YARD - DAY

A RED RUBBER BALL <whizzes> through frame. REVEAL BOOG,


FANBOY, AND CHUM CHUM watching an intense game of dodgeball.

74 BOOG
Ahh, the sweet sound of ball on
face... the humiliation of the
weak... the smell of fear... I love
dodgeball!

A ball flies at Boog, he catches it effortlessly.

75 CHUM CHUM
Uh-uh. Big kids can’t play.

76 BOOG
Well, then why am I here?

CUT TO:

EXT. SCHOOL YARD - MOMENTS LATER

Fanboy and Chum Chum run behind Boog as he’s being pelted
with dodgeballs.

77 FANBOY / CHUM CHUM


Human shield!

78 BOOG
Do it for Chimp Chomp. <impact
noise> Do it for Chimp Chomp.
<impact noise> Do it for Chimp--
(ball in mouth)
Chullp!

INT. FROSTY MART - DAY

Fanboy and Chum Chum lounge in hammocks. Boog comes over


with two Frosty Freezy Freezes on a tray.

79 BOOG
Your Frosty Freezy Freezes.

80 FANBOY
Mmm, mine’s just a wee bit too
frosty.

81 CHUM CHUM
And mine’s just a tad too freezy.

82 FANBOY
Would you be a peach...?
FB 113 "PG Movie" Record Draft - 6/09/08 11.

Boog grits his teeth and walks off. He approaches the Frosty
Freezy Freeze machine where Lenny stands, <CHUCKLING>.

83 LENNY
Ha ha, looks like those two really
have you jumping through-- <impact
sound>

Boog immediately KNOCKS him O.S.

84 BOOG
You don’t have my ticket.

ANGLE ON FANBOY AND CHUM CHUM. Boog brings over fresh Frosty
Freezy Freezes. The boys take them.

85 FANBOY
Hmm, still an hour ‘til showtime.
However will we spend it?

SFX: CHIMP CHOMP VIDEO GAME.

The boy’s heads turn to look at the video game.

86 BOOG
(realizing)
Oh no! No no no! Not my precious
baby! Nobody touches my Chimp
Chomp but me!

87 FANBOY
We understand, Boog. Why don’t you
stay and play it while we go see
the movie with someone else?

88 BOOG
(struggling)
Alright... But I beg you, be gentle
with her.

CLOSE ON CHUM CHUM putting a QUARTER in the machine. The


game begins. Chum Chum presses the button once. Then...

89 CHIMP CHOMP MACHINE (V.O.)


You lose!

90 CHUM CHUM
Yay!

91 BOOG
There, you’ve had your fun.
FB 113 "PG Movie" Record Draft - 6/09/08 12.

He immediately begins wiping down the machine with a SOFT


CLOTH.

92 CHUM CHUM
I want the high score.

93 BOOG
What are you, nuts? You got three
points.

94 CHUM CHUM
I... want the high score.

95 BOOG
(pointing to screen)
Look! 988 thousand! 989 thousand!
Those are high scores! I outta
know! I earned ‘em!

96 CHUM CHUM
(beat)
I want the high score.

97 BOOG
But... the only way to do that is
to erase my high scores?!

98 FANBOY
Well, if seeing your name on this
machine is more important than
seeing the movie it inspired...

99 BOOG
(boils for a minute, then)
‘Scuse me.

ANGLE ON THE FROSTY FREEZE MACHINE: Boog grabs a cup, <YELLS>


into it for a beat.

100 BOOG (CONT’D)


<muffled cursing>

He puts a lid on the cup and sets it down. It sits on the


counter, <JITTERING>.

AT THE VIDEO GAME: Boog returns.

101 BOOG (CONT’D)


Fine. Step aside.

He approaches the machine, takes a <DEEP BREATH>, maneuvers


the controls for a beat, then slowly and deliberately presses
the final button.
FB 113 "PG Movie" Record Draft - 6/09/08 13.

SFX: PAC-MAN DEATH SOUND.

102 BOOG (CONT’D)


<sniffling> They’re gone. They’re
all gone. I think I’m gonna cry.

Boog slumps on the machine, <SOBBING>. Fanboy slips the


ticket underneath him.

103 FANBOY
There you go, Boog. You’ve earned
it.

104 CHUM CHUM


Well, I guess we better get going.
We don’t want to miss the previews.

105 FANBOY
(casual, to Boog)
So... Should we all go together?
Or do you want to meet us there?

Boog lifts his head up from the machine, clutching his ticket
with an <EVIL CACKLE>.

106 BOOG
You know, growing up in a plastic
bubble, Chimp Chomp was all I was
good at. But now I found something
else I’m good at... Bopping you
guys! And that’s what I’m gonna do
during the movie. Watch Chimp
Chomp... and BOP YOU SENSELESS!

The boys share a look of dread. WE CUT TO their shared


nightmare:

INT. MOVIE THEATER - NIGHTMARE FANTASY

ON BOOG’S FACE, <LAUGHING> at the movie. PULL BACK TO REVEAL


Fanboy and Chum Chum on either side of him. Boog eats
POPCORN out of Fanboy’s head while using Chum Chum’s mouth as
a DRINK holder.

107 BOOG
(yelling at screen)
Chomp it you Chimp! <laughs>

Boog <LAUGHS> then BOPS them hard. MATCH CUT TO:

INT. FROSTY MART - BACK TO SCENE

BOOG <LAUGHING>. Fanboy and Chum Chum look stricken.


FB 113 "PG Movie" Record Draft - 6/09/08 14.

108 FANBOY
(weakly)
Why didn’t we think of that?

109 CHUM CHUM


We really should’ve thought of
that.

110 FANBOY
There’s only one thing to do. Chum
Chum, get that ticket!

Chum Chum snatches the ticket from Boog’s hand.

111 BOOG
Get back here!

Boog begins to chase the boys around the Frosty Mart.

112 FANBOY
Run Chum Chum! Run like the wind!

Boog grabs a super-long LICORICE WHIP and twirls it over his


head like a lasso before throwing it and snaring Chum Chum.
The ticket flies into Boog’s hands. Boog runs, but Fanboy
throws a bunch of HOT DOGS in front of Boog, who loses his
footing on the rolling dogs.

113 BOOG
Whooooooaaaaaaaa!

As he stumbles backward, Fanboy grabs the ticket and runs


off.

ANGLE ON LENNY: Through the melee, he saunters up to the


microwave with a burrito. Fanboy races by him.

114 LENNY
Hey, watch it!
(Chum Chum races by him)
Cut it out!

He opens the microwave door.

115 BOOG (O.S.)


Move!

We see Boog barreling down on Lenny.

116 LENNY
Okay!
FB 113 "PG Movie" Record Draft - 6/09/08 15.

Lenny moves out of the way right before Boog races into frame
and SMASHES right into the microwave door, his face
flattening against the door’s interior side.

117 BOOG
<impact noise>

Boog eyes glace over at the DIGITAL CLOCK next to his face.
It’s 7:20, his EYES GO WIDE.

118 BOOG (CONT’D)


(smushed face)
Aaaugh! It’s 7:20! We’re missing
the movie!

ANGLE ON FANBOY AND CHUM CHUM senselessly breaking things in


the Frosty Mart. The quickly stop.

119 FANBOY / CHUM CHUM


(realizing)
Aaaaugh!

EXT. MOVIE THEATER - LATER

The three run up just as the movie’s letting out. CHRIS


CHUGGY and a dancing MICHAEL JOHNSON walk outside.

120 MICHAEL JOHNSON


Chimp Chomp rocks! Hee-hee! That
movie was bad! Shamoan!
Fanboy, Chum Chum and Boog stare at them.

121 FANBOY / CHUM CHUM / BOOG


We’re too late!

122 MICHAEL JOHNSON


That’s not all you missed! Chimp
Chomp was there in person! And he
gave us all autographs! And monkey
bites! And bags of money!

Fanboy, Chum Chum and Boog angrily get in each others’ faces.

123 BOOG
It was one night only, and you made
me miss it!

124 FANBOY
No, you made us miss it!
FB 113 "PG Movie" Record Draft - 6/09/08 16.

125 BOOG
I know one thing I won’t miss...
your face!

Fanboy and Boog start GIRLY SLAP-FIGHTING. Chum Chum quickly


breaks it up.

126 CHUM CHUM


Guys! There’s only one thing we
can do.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. MOVIE THEATER - LATER

ON THE LARGE CHIMP CHOMP CLOCK: It now reads “Chimp Chomp 2:


Gone ‘Nanners! Coming in 378 Days”

TILT DOWN TO REVEAL FANBOY AND CHUM CHUM in line. Boog’s


behind them giving them noogies and <LAUGHING>.

127 BOOG
<laughing> 378 more days ‘til Chimp
Chomp 2! I love sequels!

128 CHUM CHUM


(aside to Fanboy)
The noogies were better in the
first one.

Off their painful noogies...

FADE OUT.

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