As I get ready to enter the final year of my 20s, I decided to write out what I

know now that I didn't know when I entered this delicate decade.
1. If we are smart, we start to realize that not everything in life needs our co
mmentary or opinion. I have less opinions now at 29 than I did at 20, when I ent
ered this precious decade. I personally view that as a sign of growth.
2. All the times people tell you that you can't eat at 29 the way you are eating
at 22 without gaining weight? They aren't lying. Your "fast metabolism" ain't s
o fast after four years of goldfish for breakfast.
3. If you are lucky, your mom and dad will still be around. If you are really lu
cky, you will find yourself closer to them than ever before. If you are the luck
iest of all, they will be the two most precious people in your life.
4. Every year, you will realize more and more that being at a club isn't as fun
as you convince yourself it is.
5. Eventually, the most fun nights will be the ones with your loved ones in PJs,
or at home with friends and family, a bottle of wine and maybe even their baby.
6. I find myself looking back at all the times I called 29-year-olds "old" and 3
0+ "ancient," and realize it was my own fear motivating that name-calling. If yo
u are in your early 20s, it will be no time until you are 29, and then you will
realize in the grand scheme of things, 29 is still a baby.
7. Your best years are not over. My best years have happened, are happening now
and are in the future. Every year brings so many "bests"; hopefully, we all find
it impossible to define just one time of our lives as the best.
8. I spent a lot of money traveling. I have zero regrets about it. In fact, the
only regret I have is that I didn't keep a journal.
9. Flossing actually does matter. Washing your makeup off before passing out...
that can be debated.
10. Your exes are not yours. They do not belong to you. Hating their new girlfri
end or your current boyfriend's ex-girlfriend is completely and utterly pointles
s.
11. I used to think if you forgave someone who cheated on you, you were pathetic
and weak. I now see it differently. Forgiveness makes you stronger. Overcoming
infidelity can increase your bond, and it cannot. Every situation is different.
So before you give advice and spout off at the mouth about how you will murder t
he person who hurt your friend, try listening.
12. If you really do get better with age, you will find that you have less judge
ment to give, less comparisons to make and more compassion for every single pers
on you encounter.
13. My siblings mean more to me now than ever before. They genuinely share my tr
iumphs and failures. That kind of support is priceless.
14. As I have realized certain people in my life don't energize me, but enervate
me, I find myself walking away from them slowly and without much attention bein
g brought to it. This has been a big lesson.
15. The friends you have had for 15+ years are likely to stay your friends forev
er. These bonds will come to mean more to you year after year. Their children wi
ll be your nieces and nephews. They become your family. Eventually, you come to
realize you share more intimate details with your friends than even your signifi
cant other... or maybe that is just me?
16. I now find the idea of using a tanning booth to be on par with getting a roo
t canal. All the advice about wearing sunscreen should be heeded and drinking wa
ter is more important now than ever before. In fact, I am known to have an irrat
ional fear of being dehydrated.
17. At this point in my life, everyone I know has lost someone they loved. Mysel
f included. Keeping this in mind, I try and treat people a little bit more gentl
y. You really don't ever know what someone is going through.
18. There is no blueprint to life. Some of your friends will get married early,
some late and some not at all. Some will make a lot of money and some won't. Som
e will have five children and some will have none. Some will travel the globe an
d others may never leave the state. As Nietzsche once wrote, "this is my way, wh
at is your way? THE way does not exist." Try and remember this before you tell y
our friends how to live their lives. Try not to judge anyone for the way they li
ve their life as well.
19. "How may I serve?" has become my daily walking prayer. "What's in it for me?
" sometimes creeps its way in, but I don't judge myself for that. I try not to j
udge others for it either.
20. I have come to realize that most of the time, people are just doing the best
they can. That might not be the best I can or the best I would like them to do,
but it's the best they can do. Patience really is a virtue.
21. A relationship, without chemistry, is pointless. If you don't know if your r
elationship has chemistry or not, it doesn't. I promise you.
22. It has taken me my whole life to realize that I am capable of being kind to
the kind, and kind to the unkind, because kindness is MY nature. I heard over an
d over again growing up "how people treat you is their karma, and how you react
is yours." I now react kindly -- at least most of the time.
23. Rudeness does not prove a point. Neither do bitchy attitudes, dirty looks or
cursing. An excellent vocabulary proves a point. If you regularly talk about yo
ur "haterz" or "all the drama in your life," there is a good chance you are crea
ting both. If you like that sort of thing, carry on.
24. People that are generous when they are poor will be generous when they are w
ealthy. People who are generous when they are wealthy are people who would be ge
nerous when they are poor. That is because generous people have a generous natur
e. It has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with attitude.
25. I have really come to know that what you put out into the world is what you
get back. That being said, my interactions with other women are almost always po
sitive, uplifting, supportive, understanding and full of love. I do not find wom
en to be jealous, catty or difficult to get along with. I don't like it when peo
ple say "you know how you women are." No, I don't. I know how I am, and I know t
hat the women in my life are supportive beyond measure. End of story.
26. Health is something I have come to value. I took it for granted before. I st
ill enjoy a good bottle of wine or two (to myself) every now and again, but I no
longer enjoy how I feel after stuffing my face or skipping exercise. I never th
ought I would write that last sentence.
27. I now realize that real love isn't easy or simple, at least not for me. It i
s made up of laughing so hard you cry, embarrassing dance moves, nit-picking, ar
guments over who started the argument, kisses on the forehead, forgiveness, inti
macy, fights, make-ups, home-cooked meals, vacations, anniversaries, pain, ups,
downs and everything in between. But that look, that only the two of you share t
hat says nothing and means everything, can still make you weak in the knees and
vulnerable beyond measure. Real love is everything all at once right in the gut
over and over again.
28. I know now, as I enter my 29th turn around the sun, my final year in the dec
ade of my 20s, that who I am is someone I love, and there is no shame or fear in
admitting that.
29. I know now, that change is inevitable. I have changed a thousand times and y
et I have always held on to the essence that is me. I know myself. Now more than
ever. I can only imagine how I will feel at 39, 49, 59, 69, 79, 89, 99 and 109.
I am so excited for this ride.