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robably till now, you just know English in standard version in your school.

You learn tenses structure, TOEFL preparation and of course conversation in

standard English. Thats all you have to know about English. But out there as
you know, the standard version is rare to use in daily conversation. Like
when you speak with your friend, your fellows, and all people around you,
might be talking in slang version. Slang English has became daily
conversation in almost every English country particularly United States,
British and Australia. The beginner like me is so hard to understand this
language. Possibly its not ordinary for beginner. But if you learn more, you
will be able to understand and then you will realize how easy it is. Itd be
enormously helpful.
This section, Ill give you example conversations that used in slang English
and then translate to standard English for comparing. You have to know the
different between both of them. It would be a little more fun.
Check this conversation!!
Zurumi : Ey!! Ma name be Zurumi. I be Jingga dawg ( Hi, my names Zurumi.
Im Jinggas friend )
Ijah : Oh,sup,Zurumi. I is Ijah. Ya live upstairs, straight?? ( Oh, hi Zurumi. Im
Ijah. You live upstairs, dont you??)
Zurumi : Damn straight, in da apartment above yourn. Mmm, sumshit smells
delicious. Ya cookin?? ( Thats right, in the apartment above yours. Mmm,
something smells delicious. Are you cooking?? )
Ijah : Word life, dat shit depends on watcha call cookin. Im just makin sum
chicken, basic as hell. Ya wanna cum in?? ( Well, it depends on what you call
cooking. Im just making some chicken, very basic. Would you like to come
in?? )
Zurumi : Tango yankee. Hell nah, I dun wanna gaffle ya. I wuz jus dome-
scratchin if ya got Jingga fresh digits. (Thank you. No, I dont want to
disturb you. I just wondering if you have Jinggas phone number. )
Ijah : I aint got no he fresh digits yo. But if ya hit tha ol digits, thurr iz
gonna c a recordin tellin yo ass da fresh one, ya dig it?? ( Oh no, I dont have
her new phone number. But if you call the old number, therell be recording
telling you the new one. Do you understand?? )
Zurumi : Oh, youse straight. How come i aint reckon o dat shit?? ( Oh youre
right. Why didnt I think of that??)
Ijah : Ya know, yer name sounded so damn familiar when Jingga first
mentioned ya, an now dat I see ya, ya look familiar too. We done met befo??
( You know, your name sounded really familiar Jingga mentioned you, and
now that I see you, you look familiar too. Have we met before?? )
Zurumi : Hell naw, I dun reckon so. Ya probab-like confusin mee wit ma
sistah. She be mad well-known. ( No, I dont think so. Youre probably
confusing me with my sister. Shes pretty well know. )
Ijah : Furrila?? ( Really?? )
Zurumi : Peep dis. I betta run back upstairs. I iz allowin a phone call. Ima
talk ya latah, word? Audi! ( Look, Id better run back upstairs. Im expecting a
phone call. Ill talk you later, OK? Good bye )
Ijah : Benz! ( See you later! )
After you read that conversation above, you will feel weird with the words
because so many decorous words there some like ass, hell, shit and some
words that you think extremely impolite to say. Thats all slang conversation.
Are you interesting enough to learn slang it??? I think its cool!! Yay!!

Yeah, you speak good. But there are more than 6 billion people living on this mudball, and every one of them speaks
some form of a language. We interviewed every single person on the planet individually, counted em up, and our
results can be found below: the ten most widely spoken languages in the world.
Keep in mind that these are all estimates, since its obviously impossible to be exact. Also keep in mind that were not
merely counting native speakers, but anyone who fluently knows and speaks the language (regardless of whether its
their first language or not). Makes things more interesting, eh?
And to whet your appetite, here are the languages that just barely missed the list (from the most popular to the least):
German, Japanese, Urdu, Punjabi, Korean, Telugu, Tamil, Marathi, Cantonese, Wu, Vietnamese, Javanese, Italian,
Turkish, Tagalog, and Thai
10. French Number of speakers: 129 million
Often called the most romantic language in the world, French is spoken in tons of countries,
including Belgium, Canada, Rwanda, Cameroon, and Haiti. Oh, and France too. Were
actually very lucky that French is so popular, because without it, we might have been stuck
with Dutch Toast, Dutch Fries, and Dutch kissing (ew!). To say hello in French, say
Bonjour (bone-JOOR).
9. Malay-Indonesian Number of speakers: 159 million
Malay-Indonesian is spoken surprise in Malaysia and Indonesia. Actually, we kinda fudged the numbers on this
one because there are many dialects of Malay, the most popular of which is Indonesian. But theyre all pretty much
based on the same root language, which makes it the ninth most-spoken in the world. Indonesia is a f ascinating place;
a nation made up of over 13,000 islands it is the sixth most populated country in the world. Malaysia borders on two
of the larger parts of Indonesia (including the island of Borneo), and is mostly known for its capital city of Kuala
Lumpur. To say hello in Indonesian, say Selamat pagi (se-LA-maht PA-gee).
8. Portuguese Number of speakers: 191 million
Think of Portuguese as the little language that could. In the 12th Century, Portugal won its independence from Spain
and expanded all over the world with the help of its famous explorers like Vasco da Gama and Prince Henry the
Navigator. (Good thing Henry became a navigator . . . could you imagine if a guy named Prince Henry the
Navigator became a florist?) Because Portugal got in so early on the exploring game, the language established itself
all over the world, especially in Brazil (where its the national language), Macau, Angola, Venezuela, and Moza
mbique. To say hello in Portuguese, say Bom dia (bohn DEE-ah).
7. Bengali Number of speakers: 211 million
In Bangladesh, a country of 120+ million people, just about everybody speaks Bengali. And because Bangladesh is
virtually surrounded by India (where the population is growing so fast, just breathing the air can get you pregnant), the
number of Bengali speakers in the world is much higher than most people would expect. To say hello in Bengali,
say Ei Je (EYE-jay).
6. Arabic Number of speakers: 246 million
Arabic, one of the worlds oldest languages, is spoken in the Middle East, with speakers found in countries such as
Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Iraq, Syria, Jordan, Lebanon, and Egypt. Furthermore, because Arabic is the language of the
Koran, millions of Moslems in other countries speak Arabic as well. So many people have a working knowledge of
Arabic, in fact, that in 1974 it was made the sixth official langua ge of the United Nations. To say hello in Arabic,
say Al salaam aalaykum (Ahl sah-LAHM ah ah-LAY-koom) .
5. Russian Number of speakers: 277 million
Mikhail Gorbachev, Boris Yeltsin, and Yakov Smirnoff are among the millions of Russian speakers out there. Sure,
we used to think of them as our Commie enemies. Now we think of them as our Commie friends. One of the six
languages in the UN, Russian is spoken not only in the Mother Country, but also in Belarus, Kazakhstan, and the U.S.
(to name just a few places). To say hello in Russian, say Zdravstvuite (ZDRAST-vet- yah).
4. Spanish Number of speakers: 392 million
Aside from all of those kids who take it in high school, Spanish is spoken in just about every South American and
Central American country, not to mention Spain , Cuba, and the U.S. There is a particular interest in Spanish in the
U.S., as many English words are borrowed from the language, includ ing: tornado, bonanza, patio, quesadilla,
enchilada, and taco grande supreme. To say hello in Spanish, say Hola (OH-la).
3. Hindustani Number of speakers: 497 million
Hindustani is the primary language of Indias crowded population, and it encompasses a huge number of dialects (of
which the most commonly spoken is Hindi). While many predict that the population of India will soon surpass that of
China, the prominence of English in India prevents Hindustani from surpassing the most popular language in the
world. If youre interested in learning a little Hindi, theres a very easy way: rent an Indian movie. The film industry
in India is the most
prolific in the world, making thousands of action/romance/ musicals every year. To say hello in Hindustani, say
Namaste (Nah-MAH-stay) ..
2. English Number of speakers: 508 million
While English doesnt have the most speakers, it is the official language of more count ries than any other language.
Its speakers hail from all around the world, including the U.S., Australia, England, Zimbabwe, the Caribbean, Hong
Kong , South Africa, and Canada. Wed tell you more about English, but you probably feel pretty comfortable with
the language already. Lets just move on to the most popular language in the world. To say hello in English, say
Whats up, freak? (watz-UP-freek) ..
1. Mandarin Number of speakers: 1 billion+
Surprise, surprise, the most widely spoken language on the planet is based in the most populated country on the
planet, China. Beating second-place English by a 2 to 1 ratio, but dont let that lull you into thinking that Mandarin is
easy to learn. Speaking Mandarin can be really tough, because each word can be pronounced in four ways (or
tones), and a beginner will invariably have trouble distinguishing one tone from another. But if over a billion people
could do it, so could you. Try saying hello! To say hello in Mandarin, say Ni hao (Nee HaOW). (Hao is
pronounced as one syllable, but the tone requires that you let your voice drop midway, and then raise it again at the
A little bit weird if ya read these..the japanese is out of the top ten. i think the japanese is a popular one but im wrong.
Maybe as i guess the japanese in the 11 or 12.
And a big surprise me, Melayu Language turn in top 10 in most spoken language in the world..its based on the
population. The country which have big poplulation will be the most widely spoken language.
Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?
Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me.
Who is this?
Caller : Im Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! Its urgent.
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone ! But whats
this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was
involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent
to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator : Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital,
then the accident isnt an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I
dont have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: Im Saw Ree.
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry . Now give me your name!!
Operator: Thats what I said. Im Saw Ree .
Caller: Or..God.

Dear Signor Diretorre,
Now I am tella you the storry how I was treated at your hotella. I am comma from
Palermo as tourist to London and stay as a young man at your hotella. When I
comma in my room I see no shit in my bed. How can I sleep with no shit in my bed?
I calla own the Receptione and tell: i wanna shit. They tella me Go to the toilletta
. I said You no understand. I wanna Shit in my bed. They said You betta not shit
in your bed, you sonnawabitch. What is sonnawabitch ?!
I go down to ristorante for breakfast. I order bacon and eggs and two pisses of
toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress and point to toast. I wanna
piss. She tella me Go to the toillett I say You no understand. I wanna piss on my
plate. She then say to me You bloody fella better not piss on the plate, you
sonnawabitch. Second person who do not even know me and call me sonnawabitch
! What is sonnawabitch ?
Later I go dinner into restorante. Spoon and knife is laid but no fock. I tella waitress
I wanna fock, and she tella me Sure everybody wanna fock. I tell her You no
understand. I wanna fock on the table. She then tell me So you sonnawabitch,
wanna fock on the table? Get your ass outa here!
So I go to the receptione and ask for bills. I no wanna stay in your hotel no more.
When I have pay the bills, The porter say to me Thank you and piss be with you . I
say Piss on you too, you sonnawabitch. I go back to Italy ! I never more comma
stay in your hotella, You sonnawabitch.
Why Red Indian Names Are Long?
Filed under: joke 6 Comments
December 8, 2008
A little Red Indian boy asked his father, the big chief and witch doctor of the tribe,
Papa, why is it that we always have long names, while the white men have shorter
names Bill , Tex or Sam, for example?
His father replied, Look, son, our names represent a symbol, a sign, or a poem for
our culture not like the white men, who
repeat their names from generation to generation. Also, it is part of our make up
that in spite of everything, we survive.
For example, your sisters name is Small Romantic Moon Over The Lake, because on
the night she was born, there was a beautiful moon reflected in the lake.
Then theres your brother, Big White Horse of the Prairies, because he was born on
a day that the big white horse who gallops over the prairies of the world appeared
near our camp and is a symbol of our capacity to live and the life force of our
people. Its very simple and easy to understand. Do you have any other questions,
Little Broken Condom Made in China ?
I just don`t want any of them sleeping with your mother after
I`m gone
Filed under: joke 1 Comment
July 23, 2008
An Irishman named Darren went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after
a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Darren in the eye, and said, I`ve some
bad news for you. You have cancer, and it can`t be cured. I`d give you two weeks
to a month to live.
Darren was shocked and saddened by the news but was of solid character. He
managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor`s office into the waiting
room. There, he saw his son who had been waiting.
Darren, Well, son. We Irish celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when
things don`t go so well. In this case, things aren`t so well. I have cancer, and I`ve
been given a short time to live. Let`s head for the pub and have a few pints.
After 3 or 4 pints, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs
and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of Darren old friends
who asked what the two were celebrating. Darren told them that the Irish celebrate
the good and the bad. He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his
impending end.
Darren told his friends, I`ve only got a few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed
with AIDS.
The friends gave Darren their condolences, and they had a couple more beers.
After his friends left, Darren`s son leaned over and whispered his confusion.
Dad, I thought you said that you were dying from cancer! You just told your friends
that you were dying from AIDS! Darren said, I am dying of cancer, son. I just don`t
want any of them sleeping with your mother after I`m gone.
Engineer vs Guillotine
Filed under: joke 1 Comment
Once upon a time there lived three men: a doctor, a chemist, and an engineer. For
some reason all three offended the king and were sentenced to die on the same
day. The day of the execution arrived, and the doctor was led up to the guillotine.
As he strapped the doctor to the guillotine, the executioner asked, Head up or
head down?
Head up, said the doctor.
Blindfold or no blindfold?
No blindfold.
So the executioner raised the axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the bladeand
stopped barely an inch above the doctors neck. Well, the law stated that if an
execution didnt succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the
doctor was set free.
Then the chemist was led up to the guillotine.
Head up or head down? said the executioner.
Head up.
Blindfold or no blindfold?
No blindfold.
So the executioner raised his axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the bladeand
stopped an inch above the chemists
neck. Well, the law stated that if the execution didnt succeed the first time the
prisoner had to be released, so the chemist was set free.
Finally the engineer was led up to the guillotine.
Head up or head down?
Head up.
Blindfold or no blindfold?
No blindfold.
So the executioner raised his axe, but before he could cut the rope, the engineer
yelled out:
WAIT! I see what the problem is!
Deadlock Situation
Filed under: joke 3 Comments
July 16, 2008
Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad, so make arrangement.
Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, you
look after yourself.
Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going abroad for a week, so lets
spend the week together.
Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private tution: I have work
for a week, so you need not come for class.
Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a week I dont have class coz
my teacher is busy. Lets spend the week together.
Grandpa(the 1st boss ) make call to his secretary: This week I am spending my
time with my grandson. We cannot attend that meeting.
Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss has some work, we
cancelled our trip.
Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend this week together, my wife
has cancelled her trip.
Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private tution: This week we
will have class as usual.
Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my teacher said this week I have
to attend class. Sorry I cant give you company.
Grandpa make call to his secretary: Dont worry this week we will attend that
meeting, so make arrangement.
and so on and so on!