NEW MATERIAL

CHAPTER 9
MEDIATION
Helps the parties negotiate to reach agreement facilitated by the mediator. Mediator is the puppeteer.
ADVANTAGES:
- Solutions are more likely to be CARRIED OUT since the ones that argued are the ones that are trying to
work out a solution
- CREATIVE
- Meet their underlying INTERESTS rather than fight over positions or money
- CHEAPER
- The end result is much more SATISFYING for both parties
DISADVANTAGES:
- Not all parties want to work with the ENEMY
- Conflict may be a WIN/LOSE situation so mediation has no purpose
- NOT APPROPRIATE for all relationships
- When it involves an ABUSED WOMAN, she is unable to negotiate
- NOT WORTH THE TIME AND EFFORT

Used successfully with businesses, domestic disputes, educational, community/neighborhood, criminal justice
labor management and international conflicts.

Victim offender restitution (VOR) criminal and victim work together to think of a way

STAGES: [EDN. AF]
1) Entry
2) Diagnosis
3) Negotiation
4) Agreements
5) Follow-up

Key to effective mediation? Skill of mediator and motivation of parties


OUTSIDE FORCE THIRD FORCE
ARBITRATION
Third party decides the outcome of the conflict cause the bitches cant handle themselves.
Binding arbitration final judgment. Nonbinding is the opposite.
ADVANTAGES:
- Both enter it voluntarily.
- It keeps people using passive aggressive tactics it always gets solved.
- Creative content solutions available because the guy is an expert
- Readily available when there is a communication breakdown.
- Can use for anything
DISADVANTAGES:
- Resolves only on content / doesnt look at personal relationships
- Assumes that the bitches are bitches and cant handle their own hardships
- It feeds off of miscommunication breakdownshow sad.

ADJUDICATION
Judge or jury chooses.
ADVANTAGES:
- Everyone has access to a solution that doesnt require the others consent / its a POWER BALANCER
- Its fair (evidence is required from both, each has right to speak, etc)
- Use of professionals helps those that arent ready to present their case
- Its the BACKUP FOR ALL procedures
DISADVANTAGES:
- Overused, overburdened, misused
- Conflict parties no longer make their own decisions its the community, lawyers, judges, etc that do it
- Its a win/lose set of assumptions that wants drama

OMSBUD person who has experience knows all knows everything knows what to do. Not an official
mediator.

FACILIATION:


SME
Subject Matter Expert / an expert that cant really help you

Co-mediation is dumb because one mediator is supporting one and one is supporting the other. Youre
basically battling which is counter productive


CHAPTER 10
FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness vs Reconciliation
Forgiveness is focusing on the present, developing compassion for yourself and others, and willing to do your
on work when the other party isnt willing to act.

Forgiveness requires an act of IMAGINATION.
Also, forgiveness is a process (with our without interaction) by ONE PERSON.
Reconciliation is re-establishing relationship, trust and differences between TWO PEOPLE.

IMBALANCE OF POWER greater authority or power expect those with less power to forgive.

Is forgiveness a DECISION or PROCESS?
An act of will.

PROCESS:
1) Injured Innocence cant believe what just happened
2) Obsession replay what happened
3) Transcendance move on, life goes on

Forgiveness can also be seen through communicative gestures a kiss.


Expedient apology not genuine because they just want to avoid the issue
Compelled apology no understanding of full effect of ones actions say sorry to Jimmy
Delayed apology apologizing on their behalf / person receiving apology should determine value
APOLOGIES REQUIRE: ACCEPTANCE, SINCERITY, ASSURANCE, AND EXPLANATIONS.

Forgiving yourself!!
YOURSELF!
We have to deal with TWO different images of ourselves the person we THINK we are and the person who
caused someone harm.

THE STRAND OF TRUTH
The ability to acknowledge, honor and communicate about what happened and its effects

THE STRAND OF FORBEARANCE
Refrain from revenge or punishment

THE STRAND OF EMPATHY
Feeling with or for another person requires imagination

COMMITMENT TO RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE WERE INTERDEPENDENT

Hawaiian practice HOoponopono. Its a practice ritual. Not so much practiced anymore.

TRIAL PSYCHOLOGY
- change of venue (location or court or something) / better chance of not being convicted
- roy dire ? the judge can talk to each juror individually behind closed doors to see what their opinions
are.


Eddies in the river
Down up down
Eddy of Revenge, withdrawal and victimhood


Last exit to Springfield Simpsons negotiation / collaborative and distributive
Collaborative can easily t urn into distributive, but distributive cannot easily turn into collaborative.

Simpsons collective bargaining one or two people from each party bargaining on behalf of the companies





Review material:

MY MAP
Who is in it
Who initiated it
Relationships / coalitions

WHAT happened

Why
a) Values causes
b) History

Personal factors
Batna watna
Best alternative (best scenario)
Worst alternative (worst that can happen)

Conflict elements:
TOPIC
RELATIONAL
IDENTITY
PROCEDURE

TRIP
TRIP
TRIP


Conflict diagnosis (major elements of my map)
Causes/drivers of conflict (circle of conflict)
Deutchs dual concern model (own and other outcome) + feasibility (strategic choice)

Conflict styles/strategies
(avoid, accomadate, comporomise, force/compete, collaborate) STYLES
Strategies -
Examples of integrative and distributive tactics
STUDY THE NOTECARDS / from last exam
Positions vs interests
Position is what you ask for what we desire
Interest is why we want it

Trust
CVS Exercise


Preventing destructive conflict
Pg 27