On Becoming a Language Teacher: Insights from Diary Studies

Carol Numrich
TESOL Quarterly, Vol. 30, No. 1. (Spring, 1996), pp. 131-153.
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TESOL QUARTERLY Vol. 30,No. 1, Spring 1996
On Becoming a Language Teacher:
Insights From Dialy Studies
CAROL NUMRICH
The American Language Program, Teachers College, Columbia University
This study presents the results of a secondary analysis of 26 diary
studies by novice ESL teachers. All of the U.S. teachers were enrolled
in a master's degree program in TESOL and had less than 6 months
of prior teaching experience. Each participant wrote (a) a personal
language learning history, (b) diary entries during a 10-week teaching
semester, and (c) an analysis of their diaries. The data were examined
to identify common themes shared among the novice teachers. Gen-
eral themes that emerged from this secondary analysis were novice
teachers' early preoccupations with their own teaching behavior,
transfer and rejection of teaching skills used in the novice teacher's
own L2 learning, unexpected discoveries about effective teaching,
and continued teaching frustrations. These results offer some insight
into the most pressing needs of novice teachers. They are discussed
in relation to the design of introductory practicums.
S
tudent teachers' diary studies can be a useful source of information
to teacher educators. What we may think novice teachers need to
learn as they first set out to teach and what they see as most relevant
to their needs may be two different things. "We gain an intimate view
of organizations, relationships, and events from the perspective of
one who has experienced them him- or herself and who may have
different premises about the world than we have" (Bogdan & Taylor,
1975, p. 7).
Diary studies (used interchangeably with journal studies; see Nunan,
1989) have become a useful tool for L2 learners to discover underlying
factors that influence their success (or lack thereof) in learning an L2.
A diary study is defined as a first-person case study that is reported
in a journal, an introspective account of an L2 experience that reports
on affective factors normally hidden from or inaccessible to an external
observer (Bailey & Ochsner, 1983). For example, through an analysis
of her diary, Bailey (1983) was able to identify an unexpected variable
in her own learning of French as an L2: competitiveness in her ap-
proach to learning. By analyzing their individual language learning
diaries in Tunisia, the U.S., and Iran, Schumann and Schumann (1977)
discovered important individual, social, and psychological variables in
their language learning processes. They have made a case for the use
of diary studies as a means of revealing idiosyncratic variables in the
learning process. Diary studies can also be used to get at those aspects
of classroom teaching that more external forms of research, such as
observation and interviews, cannot reach (Bailey, 1990; Gaies, 1983).
It can be an especially useful tool for uncovering the process by which
novice teachers acquire expertise in teaching. In the area of teacher
education, an increasing amount of research has begun to focus on
understanding L2 teachers' instructional behavior. Johnson (1992),
for example, examined discussions with preservice teachers as they
viewed videotapes of their teaching, determining cognitive dimensions
of how L2 teachers' thoughts, judgments, and decisions influence their
teaching. Unexpected student behavior was found to be the most in-
fluential factor in teachers' instructional behavior. This type of docu-
mented account of a teacher's "reframing of experience" (Russell &
Munby, 1991, p. 165), the process of seeing or hearing things differ-
ently, can provide a rich source of data for understanding how teachers
develop. The diary study, too, can provide a documented account of
novice teachers' experience. As Carter (1993) has written,
by recording what events are storied by novices, especially over time, it
should be possible to gain insights into what they know, how their knowledge
is organized, and how their knowledge changes with additional experiences
of watching and doing teaching. (p. 7)
Teaching diaries can be analyzed by teachers themselves. As "con-
scious verbalizations of what we think we know" (Seliger, as cited in
Bailey, 1991, p. 63), they can serve as a means of furthering new
teachers' reflection about their emerging role as teachers (Bailey, 1990).
In addition, a secondary analysis of diary studies can be conducted to
compare the findings of different diarists in order to highlight some
of the common experiences shared by new teachers, thus helping
teacher educators understand the most pressing needs of new teachers.
This type of analysis can begin to answer questions such as the one
Bailey (1985) asks: "How and why do language teachers, given all the
complexities of language classroom interaction . . . decide to do just
what they do in language classrooms?" (p. 115). A secondary analysis
of diary studies may take a focused or directive approach with clearly
defined aims (see, e.g., Palmer, C.,1992; Surbeck, Park Han, & Moyer,
1991), or it may take a more nondirective, open-ended approach.
In inservice courses, the diary study has been shown to be an effective
pedagogic tool in encouraging teachers toward a critical assimilation
TESOL QUARTERLY 132
of teaching input (see Palmer, C., 1992; Palmer, G., 1992 ). Having
decided to use this tool in a preservice course, I chose to conduct my
own study of student teachers' diaries in order to begin to identify
some of the common themes that emerged among novice ESL teachers
in their first semester of teaching. What follows is a description of
their practicum, results from a secondary analysis of their diary studies,
and recommendations for teacher educators who work with novice
teachers.
METHOD
In the fall of 1993, I taught a two-section practicum course to 42
graduate students who were either teachers just entering the field or
teachers with less than 2 years of ESL teaching experience. The teach-
ers were paired up and assigned to teach their own class of adult
students in a community English program for 4 hours a week. The
practicum had a general rather than a specialized focus. The teachers
tried out various teaching techniques and approaches focusing on
listening, speaking, reading, and writing. No teaching syllabus was
provided to the teachers; nor had a particular curriculum been set for
them to follow. The teachers were free to discover and develop teach-
ing activities on their own, and they were encouraged to try out ideas
shared by others. In our weekly seminar we discussed the teaching of
grammar and the four skills as well as insights they had gleaned from
the weekly assigned readings and observations of other teachers' teach-
ing in various practicums (these observations focused on several areas
of concern to new teachers: the use of wait time, classroom interactions,
question patterns, error correction, and the incorporation of writing
practice in ESL instruction).
The student teachers also chose from a selection of 10 basic texts
to use with their students. Their chosen textbook was not meant to
prescribe the teachers' teaching in any way but rather to offer a re-
source for their teaching, a springboard for ideas presented in the
seminars as well as by the teachers themselves.
Each of the student teachers in this practicum wrote a personal
language teaching history before starting to teach (see Bailey, 1990).
The purpose of this exercise was for these new teachers to recall the
teachingtlearning techniques and methods that had been most and
least successful in their own learning of an L2 and to begin to identify
some of their own values about teaching and learning. Once classes
had begun, the teachers recorded a diary entry after each hour of
teaching, using the proposed guidelines (see Appendix A). I asked
them to record their entries in the first person, so as to remain personal,
INSIGHTS FROM DIARY STUDIES 133
andnottoconcernthemselveswithstylisticconventionsof writing(see
Bailey, 1983).By theendof the semester,thestudentseachhad 20
diary entries. They were asked to sharetheir choiceof diary entry
with a group of their colleagues on two occasions in the seminar.
Although thestudentteachers knew that I would read andrespond
to their diaries at the end of the semester, they did not know that
their studies might be used forasecondaryanalysis. Inan effortto
partiallycontroltheproblemof"contaminationofdata"(seeAllwright
& Bailey, 1990,p. 192),Ididnotaskforpermissiontousetheirdiary
studiesformy ownresearchuntilthelastdayof class,andthosewho
agreed signedaconsent formto participate in thisstudy. .
Withtheexceptionof fourteachers,allagreedtoparticipateinthis
study.Ifirstseparatedthenativefromthenonnativestudentteachers,
andIchosetofocusonthenative-speakingstudents'experiencesonly,
as I feltthat too many variableswould be present if the two groups
were mixed together. Twenty-three female students' diaries and 3
male students' diaries remained tobe analyzed for this study. Most
gave me permission to use their given names, and for those who
preferred nottohavetheirnamesincludedinthestudy,pseudonyms
havebeen used.Touncover emergingthemes, I examined all three
parts of the teachers' studies: (a) their language learning history,
(b)their20diary entries,and(c)theirowndiaryanalysis.
RESULTS
After a secondary analysis of the 26 diary studies, the following
generalcategoriesofpotentialinteresttoteachereducatorsemerged:
1. thepreoccupationsofnoviceteacherswiththeirownteachingexpe-
rience,
2. the transfer (orconsciouslack of transfer)of teaching methodst
techniques used intheteachers'own L2 learning,
3. unexpected discoveriesabouteffectiveteaching,and
4. continued frustrationswith teaching.
Whatfollowsis adiscussionof themostfrequentlymentioned points
ineachof thesecategories.If athemeemergedinapproximatelyone
fifthof thediariesormore,I considered itworthmentioning inthis
secondary analysis. If one out of every five teachers mentioned a
particular concernabout teaching, it seemed that theconcern could
be relevant toothernoviceteachers.
TESOL QUARTERLY 134
Early Preoccupations With Their Own
Teaching Experience
Not surprisingly,in thefirst weeks of the practicum, the teachers
were preoccupied with their own teaching.Littleif any mention was
made of their students' needs or learning in their diaries. Most of
their discussions revolved around their role in establishing rapport
with their students and their need to experiment creatively in the
classroom. The most frequently mentioned concerns are shown in
Table 1.
TABLE 1
Frequently Mentioned Concerns of Novice Teachers
Teacherswho
mentioned it
Generalconcern No. %
Need to maketheclassroomasafe,comfortable environment 11 42
Need forcontrolwhenstudentstalk 9 35
Need tobe creativeandvaried in teaching 8 31
Need toinitiallyexperienceteaching individually 8 31
Need toclarifythevalueof atextbook 7 27
Theimportanceofclassroomatmospherewasmostfrequentlymen-
tioned in the first entries of the student teachers' diaries. In their
languagelearninghistories, manyof thestudent teachers mentioned
how important it had been in their own L2 language learning and
wanted tocreatea similarenvironment in their own classrooms. For
example,afterher 1stday of teaching,Elainewrites,
1. I seethatwhat we did todaywas allaffectiveactivities.TedandI both
agreed thatwe wanted toestablish awarm andfriendlyatmospherein
the classroom.We also didn't want tocomeacross ascontrollingoras
authorityfigures.
At theendof thesemester,when theteachersanalyzed their diaries,
many of them commented on this original concern with creating a
positiveandcomfortable atmospherein theclassroom, realizing that
thispreoccupationmighthaveledthemtosacrificelanguagelearning
opportunities.
Severalteachersalsomentionedtheirfrustrationswithlosingcontrol
when their students talked in class.They reported that they wanted
to feel in controlof their class.Nine of the teachers mentioned this
earlyintheirdiaryentries.Althoughmanyof themexpressedadesire
nottobecontrollingintheclassroom,theyoftendiscoveredthatthey
INSIGHTS FROM DIARY STUDIES 135
dominatedtheclasswhentheyobservedvideotapesoftheirownteach-
ing.Forexample,Leewrites,
2. 1am acontrolfreak.Iam impatient.I was asuccessfulstudentin the
teacher-centeredmodel,soIamcomfortablewith it,althoughIrecog-
nizethatastudent-centeredclassroomisabetteralternative.Ihavenow
seentwoof my videotapesandIdon'tshutupforasecond.OKthisis
obviouslysomethingof an exaggeration-but I talk excessively and I
don'tgivenenoughwait-time.
Inaddition tofeeling a need tobe in control,severalteachers ex-
pected to be creative and varied in their teaching from their first
days in the classroom. Their expressed need to be innovative often
outweighedanyconcernforidentifyingmaterialsthatbestsuitedtheir
students' needs or planning any kind of syllabusfor their 10-week
class.Thismayhavebeenbecauselittleguidancewasprovidedinthese
areas orbecause they felt freetotry outmany activities.Yet, it may
alsohave been dueto the fact that noviceteachers lack thepractical
experience needed tostand back fromtheir classtodeterminewhat
their students' most pressing needs are. For example,Joan writes,
"I'd liketodosomevery differentkindsof things,differentways of
interactingwith them,somethingwith somekind of vitality that I'm
not used to." Ruthie's comment takes this feelingeven further: "It's
sortof likeI feellikeIhavetoreinvent thewheelforeachclass-it's
likethishuge,overwhelmingburdenonmetothinkofsomeincredible,
scintillatinglesson."
And Kim, in herfirst daysof teaching, already feelsfrustrated by
notyetcreatingpublishable materials:
3. Iwish Icouldcomeupwithmoreinterestingactivities.Ispendsomuch
timecritiquingmyself aftereachlesson.I wanttobecreativeandtobe
original.Thereis such awealthof greatideasforESL teachers,yet,I
findthatIwanttousemyownmaterial.Thisisfrustratingtomebecause
I donot think I am ascreative as people who have alreadypublished
excellentresource materialforTESOL.
Anotherinterestingthemethatemergedinthisstudywastheteach-
ers'need toexperienceteachingontheirown.Although theteachers
inthispracticum hadbeenpaireduptoshareaclassandwereencour-
agedtoplan theirlessonstogether,mostof themchosetoteachtheir
own separatelesson during their allotted teaching time. Karen, for
example,writes,"[Mypartner]andIdecidedtocombineouractivities
and team-teach the first classtogether." Inthediary entry after the
2nddayofteaching,shetakesanewapproach:"OnThursday,October
7,[mypartner]andIhadourseconddayof teaching.UnlikeTuesday
when we team-taughttheclass,todaywas thefirstdaythatwe taught
TESOL QUARTERLY 136
by ourselves." Thisdecisionwasafairlycommonone.Perhapsnovice
teachers feel a need to discover their "teaching selves" (Curwin &
Schneider Fuhrmann, 1975)before they can begin to think about
teachingasacollaborative effort.Somepartnersdideventually learn
towork welltogether. Sara,forexample,writesinherdiaryanalysis:
4. When I read over myjournal, I can sense the growth that has taken
placein me asapartner. I feelthatMargaret and I reached apointin
whichwewereworkingwelltogether.Wewereabletoteamteachquite
well, which is much different than that first night. Someof my best
memorieswerethetimesthatMargaretand I taught togetherwiththe
class. I think thatwe both learned alotby working together
Finally,afourthpreoccupation expressedby severalteachersinthis
studywas their guilt about usingornot using thetextbook that they
hadchosenfortheirstudents.As mentioned,theteacherswereasked
toorderatextbook fortheirstudentsafterteaching twoclasses.The
purposewas togive theteachers practice in workingwith a text and
tousethetextasaspringboardforotherideas.Whether theteachers
didmakeuseof thetextbookornot,theyoftenexpressedguiltabout
their choices.For example,Cindy writes,
5. 1think I've come to rely too much on the textbook . . . at first I felt
guilty about using the textbook after I had been thinking of my own
lesson plans . . . now I seem to have gonetheotherway. I'm realizing
how easy it isjust torely on the textbook. I have to stopmyself from
doingthat.
Ruthiealsofeltthatthetextbook was moreintrusivethanhelpfulbut
laterhad adifferentopinionaboutit. Halfwaythroughthesemester
shewrites,
6. I founditvery difficult andtiringtotry andfindaway tofitthebook
intomylessonplan-I feltthebookwasanaddedburdenratherthana
time-savingresourceformeandapotentiallystimulatingandinteresting
educationalresource for my students . . . . Now I almost feel positive
aboutit-like itmightbeafriendlyhelpertomeinplanningmylessons.
By theendof thesemester,manyof theteachersexplainedthatthey
had cometoregrettheirchoicesof textbooks,realizingthattheymay
not have had the experience necessary to make the best choices. In
addition, with limited teaching time in thesemester,it was hard for
them todecidehow to pick andchoose activitiesfrom thebook and
balance them withothersourcesof material.
Transferof Teachin TechniquesUsed
inDiarist'sOwnLP fearning
A reviewof theteachers'languagelearninghistoriesinconjunction
withtheirdiaryentriesshowedclearlythattheeffectof learninganL2
INSIGHTSFROM DIARY STUDIES 137
TABLE 2
TransferofTechniquesUsedinNoviceTeachers'OwnL2Learning
Teacherswho mentioned it
Technique
No. 7%
Replicated
Integrating culture
Givingstudentsaneed tocommunicate
Rejected
Correctingerrors
Teachinggrammar
wasoftencarriedovertotheirteachingof anL2.Themostfrequently
mentioned teachingtechniquesthatwerereplicatedorpurposely not
replicated areshowninTable2.
Thetheme of integratingcultureintothelanguagelessonwas the
most popular among this group of teachers. Those who had had
positive learningexperiences instudyingcultureas they learned an-
otherlanguageweremotivatedtointroduceelementsofU.S.culturein
theirteachingof ESL.Forexample,inreflectingonherownlanguage
learninghistory,Carolinewrites,
7. The"secret" to my learning Spanish, I feel, was cultural lessons that
theteacher integrated in theclassroom (i.e.when the teacher cooked
quesadillas fortheclass,discussedthebull racesin Pamplona, showed
us Spanishtextile fabrics,invited herstudentsover fordinner,etc.).
Later,in heranalysisof herdiary,shewrites,
8.Just asmy teachers showed cultural aspectsof theculture in orderto
makethelanguagelearningcomealive,soI wanted todothesamefor
my students. For Halloween, Cleoand I organized thetime in such a
way thatwegottoshareghoststories. . . . Throughthisactivitywewere
abletointroduceoneaspectofAmericanculture-Halloween traditions.
Inanotherexercise,IusedSilentWayrodstodescribeSanDiego,where
I spentmy collegeyears . . . noneof them hasbeen toSan Diego,and
my demonstration introduced them tothis serene,seasidetown (quite
different fromNew York City!)
Like the study of culture, givingstudentsa need to communicate
wasalsocitedasapositivelearningexperiencethattheteacherswanted
to incorporate into their own teaching. Oneof the teachers in this
studymentions her "language studyfrom hell,"in which her father,
determined to have his children learn his native Korean language,
made her memorize 5-10 Korean vocabularywords aday and then
TESOLQUARTERLY 138
pass oral quizzes at home. For 6 years she endured this method, only
to be turned off to the Korean language as a result. She contrasts
her father's method of teaching her Korean with her later study of
Japanese. Having three Japanese friends in college who sometimes
spoke Japanese together in her presence, she felt motivated to learn
the language. In her final analysis of her diaries she, like five other
teachers in the study, reflected on the parallel she noticed between her
language learning experience and her teaching. She felt that personal
relevance was essential to learning a language and tried to make her
lessons as relevant to her students as possible.
Whereas some methods and techniques from their own language
learning experiences were replicated in their own teaching, several
techniques were consciously rejected by the teachers. Error correction
was most often cited as a technique that had been used by their lan-
guage teachers and that had inhibited them from speaking. In some
cases it had even turned them off to language learning because they
had felt so humiliated and uncomfortable being corrected. Because
of negative experiences of being corrected, several teachers chose not
to interrupt their students' flow of speech in the classroom to correct
errors. This feeling is illustrated in Ted's first diary entry: "I had been
careful not to correct the students English today for fear that I might
intimidate them or that my correction might be wrong or too negative,
etc." More than halfway through the semester, however, Ted begins
to realize that his students are asking for feedback, yet he is still uneasy
about correcting them:
9. I feel like I have a problem with giving direction and correcting the
students.Theywanttobecorrected.. . however,whentheyareinvolved
intheirconversationIhatetostopthemandsay"menisplural,therefore
you don't need to putan 's'atthe endof theword."
Other teachers, too, began to realize their students wanted more from
them as the semester progressed. Meg wonders about her choice not
to correct her students:
10. [Thestudents]madesomegrammarmistakes.I didn'tcorrect,unless
studentsasked.I'mstill notsurehow I feelaboutcorrectingstudents
whentheymakeerrorsinspeech.Ithinkif theygettheirpointacross
orally they should becongratulated,notcorrected.
Toward the end of the semester, some of the teachers realized that
their students had wanted more correction throughout the course.
Amy, in a feedback session she held with her students on the last day,
discovered that her students did not like it when she did not point out
students' errors. Several teachers began to identify reasons for not
wanting to deal with error correction. Mannor writes in her analysis,
INSIGHTS FROM DIARY STUDIES 139
"Why I avoided errorcorrection was a reflectionupon the negative
experiencesIhadasalanguagelearnerwhenIwasmadetofeel'bad'
aboutmaking mistakes."And Deborah,inher finalanalysis,writes:
11. Iwassoconcernedabouttheclassfeelingpositiveabouttheirattempts
atusingEnglishthatIdidn'tspendtimecorrectingthemontheirusage
orpronunciation unless they could not communicate their message.
Also, I am not very knowledgeable about English grammar or how
soundsareproduced,andI think I was avoidingbeing embarrassed
bynotbeingabletogiveacorrectanswer.Iwasholdingontootightly
to"gettingthrough"aparticularlessonanddidn'twanttodoanything
toupset my grasp.
This feeling of avoiding embarrassment may also explain another
commonlymentioned instructional decision that was madeby these
teachers: thechoicenot toteach grammar.Many feltthat their own
knowledgeof teachinggrammarwassoweakthattheysimplyavoided
teaching it.Jennafer writesinoneof herearlydiaryentries:
12. I'm excited about working with beginners, but I hope I can create
lessonplans whichareinteresting andconducivetolearningEnglish.
I've alsonevertaughtgrammarbefore.Forgetteachinggrammar,I've
never reallylearned grammar. Howam I goingtoteachgrammar?!?!
Josh experimentedwith asking his students to figure things out for
themselves,sincehefeltincapableof explainingmanyof therulesof
English:
13. BecauseIhadnevergonethroughallthephasesoflearningalanguage,
orbeen aninterestedstudentof English grammar, therewere many
times when 1had noanswers forthestudents. This forced theclass
to find their own solutions. I liked itwhen this happened, but never
had anideaof why itwas happening.
Ultimately, theteachers who mentioned that they had chosento not
teach grammar felt that there was a place for teaching grammar in
theESLclassroomandexpressedaneedtodeveloptheirexpertisein
thisarea.Forexample, Karen explains,
14. Ialsobelievethatmypersonal,adverseexperienceswithgrammarand
drill work had a directeffectonmy teachingstyle. Becauseof these
negative experiences,fromwhich 1believethat I learnedvery little,I
avoidedgivingstraightforward grammarlessonsanddirect grammar
correctionforamajorityofthesemester.ItwasnotuntilItalkedabout
grammaranderrorcorrection with other teachers and I had several
communicationbreakdown problemswithmystudentsthatIbeganto
realizethevalueinexplicitlyteachinggrammar,aswellasinthevarious
formsof errorcorrection thatareatmy disposal.
TESOL QUARTERLY
Unexpected Discoveries About Effective Teaching
Several comments were made toward the end of the teachers' first
teaching experience that illustrated a surprise or an unexpected discov-
ery about effective teaching. Some of them were reactions to their
preconceived notions discussed in the first section of this article. The
most common unexpected discoveries are shown in Table 3.
TABLE 3
Novice Teachers' Unexpected Discoveries About Effective Teaching
Teachers who
mentioned it
Discovery No. 7%
Positive learning takes place outside of the classroom 9 35
Students want error correction on pronunciation and grammar 8 31
Many of the classes took field trips toward the end of the semester,
and the observations made by the teachers during these trips led to
the most frequently mentioned unexpected discovery: Positive learn-
ing takes place outside of the classroom. Meg's comment summarizes
the observation and reflection made by many teachers after taking
field trips with their students:
15. We went to Riverside Park and The Cathedral of St. John Divine today.
I love getting out of the classroom with students I teach. I don't know
why I don't do it more regularly. All morning long we communicated
with each other about all sorts of topics of interest to each of us. I was
able to ask our students questions I have about them and their lives,
and vice versa.
Kim discovers something about teaching and learning and begins to
reevaluate her teaching role once she spends time with her students
outside of class:
16. We were able to become more like equals or friends. I enjoyed their
laughter. I learned that it is okay just to sit back and laugh and let
communication naturally take place. I agree that it is good to be pre-
pared for each class. Yet, I need to-not always be so structured and
learn that if I do not cover every activity that I had planned, it is okay.
Maybe my students can be the guide as to what I teach them and what
happens in the classroom. After all, they know what they need to learn.
Maybe they should be the ones to structure, solicit, react and respond.
Maybe I should just sit back sometimes and learn from them.
Another unexpected discovery relates to the previous discussion of
teachers' decisions not to correct their students' errors. Many of the
INSIGHTS FROM DIARY STUDIES
14 1
teachers in this study had rejected error correction techniques that
had been used in their own L2 learning. By the middle of the semester,
some teachers had begun to experiment with correction. Deborah is
amazed and delighted by the reaction of her students the first time
she decides to correct her students' pronunciation errors:
17. I couldn't believe the positive response I got from the whole class. They
were very animated and more involved then ever! They were even
coming up to the board uninvited to demonstrate what they meant
when I didn't understand-the energy was terrific! I wouldn't have
thought that correcting errors could be so painless and enjoyable-
why was that? Did I wait until we had security in the class, did I wait
too long? Was it correction they could handle, or did they want more
all along? I'll have to explore the boundaries of this subject and see if
I can learn more about it.
ContinuedFrustrationsWithTeaching
Not all preoccupations were solved with new insights gleaned after
10 weeks of teaching. By the time the teachers had written 20 diary
entries and analyzed their own diaries, they continued to feel frustrated
about certain issues in teaching. The most frequently mentioned frus-
trations are found in Table 4.
TABLE 4
NoviceTeachers'ContinuingFrustrationsWithTeaching
-
Teachers who mentioned it
Frustration No. %
Managing class time 13 50
Giving clear directions 10 38
Responding to students' various needs 9 35
Teaching grammar effectively 8 31
Assessing students' learning 7 27
Focusing on students rather than on self 7 27
The most difficult part of teaching for this group of teachers was
time management. By the end of the 10-week period, at least half of
the teachers mentioned in either their diaries or analyses that they still
did not have confidence in managing time.
Although most of the teachers in this study did employ pair- and
group-work activities in their lessons, by the end of the semester many
of them felt unsettled about how to balance teacher-centered activities
with student-centered activities. In fact, believing that student-centered
activities were more conducive to developing their students' language
TESOL QUARTERLY 142
proficiency, someof them were surprisedby thepositiveresponseof
their studentswhen they did present moreteacher-centered lessons.
For example,Amy writesin herfinalanalysis,
18. OntherareoccasionthatIendedupjust teachingastraightgrammar
lesson, with me standingin frontof theclass,and thesourceltarget
combinationclearly being T-C,I was surprised to find that it wasn't
sobad. I feltthatsometimes not only theclassneeded that,but I did
also.ItmademefeelthatinfiveminutesoflecturingIcouldaccomplish
what might take forty-five minutes in fun,small groupactivity.This
is not at all to say that I feel that I wasted time doing all of those
activities,itisjust thatinthefutureIwill trytointegratethedifferent
ways of approachinglessons alittlebit more.
Givingcleardirectionsremainedaproblemformanyof theseteachers
throughoutthesemester. InElaine'sfinalanalysis,shewrites,
19. I was having trouble with giving directions. [My supervisor]has told
methat I have become better atit,but I'm sureI havea longway to
go. I must remember to be explicit and doa comprehension check
beforethestudentsbeginthetask.Ontheotherhand,Ihavediscovered
that I don't followdirectionstoowell. Intwo particular lesson plans,
where Ishouldhavefollowed thedirectionsexplicitly,Ididn't. Ihave
tothinkaboutthisbecauseasalearnerIdofollowdirections,butcan't
seemto doit asa teacher. I need topursue this lineof thought.
Perhapsthefollowingcommentunderlinesoneissueteachersstrug-
glemostwiththroughouttheircareersinteachingESL:howtorespond
tostudents'variousneeds.Thefeelingof beingpulledbetween want-
ingtotry outideasthatwere presented in thepracticum andgiving
theirstudentswhattheymostneededwaspartof theteachers'frustra-
tionsaboutwhetherornottheycouldmeettheneedsoftheirstudents.
Joshexplains this feelingin hisfinalanalysis:
20. 1think another "big issue" throughout the semester was whether or
notIwascreatingaclassroom thatfittheneedsof thestudents.There
was the sense that there were always two agendas present. Onewas
mine,dictatedby my requirementsinGuidedTeaching,andtheother
was that of my students,dictated by their individual situations and
motivations forimproving their English skills.
Balancingthe novice teacher's needs to explore different aspects of
teaching with their students' needs for learningEnglish was not the
onlyissueinrespondingtovarious needs.Many studentsfoundthat,
asin many ESL classes,their students had myriad reasons forbeing
in an ESL class. Shannon's solution, as was other teachers', was to
incorporateasmuch varietyaspossible toaccommodateallstudents:
"Wedidavarietyof activities,andIthinkthestudentsenjoyedevery-
INSIGHTS FROM DIARY STUDIES 143
thing. My main concern is suiting everyone's needs when we have
several levels within the class."
Yet even this solution was not always found to be the most effective.
The teachers continued to search for the content and skills that would
best respond to their students' needs. By the end of the semester,
many of the teachers felt that they should have conducted a needs
assessment at the beginning of the course and had decided to conduct
one in future teaching assignments.
As mentioned earlier, the teaching of grammar continued to pose
problems to many teachers. As Meg expresses in her final analysis,
21 . Teaching grammar in context, as I usually do, is more difficult for the
teacher, because slhe usually has not recently reviewed the various
grammar rules. And often (as in the case of definite and indefinite
articles and prepositions there are no clearly defined rules). All in all,
I find teaching English grammar probably as difficult and frustrating
as my students find learning it.
The teachers had not anticipated the level of their students' questions
and their own feelings of inadequacy in teaching grammar. By the
end of their semester of teaching, they still felt frustrated with their
lack of knowledge of English grammar.
One frustration that perhaps is expressed by teachers throughout
their teaching careers was the concern about whether, in fact, the
students were learning anything from them. Amy's comment best ex-
presses this frustration:
22. I am able to see the problems occurring-the dragging and the feeling
that I'm talking too much-but I don't know how to fix them, how to
present materials that I know the students need and want in a way
that's fun but that also makes them feel like they are learning. I have
no idea whether they are taking anything away from this class, if they're
getting anything out of it.
A final frustration that emerged toward the end of the semester
was one that could probably only be felt after a certain amount of
teaching experience. After several weeks of teaching, some of the
teachers began to mention that they felt they had focused too much
on themselves as teachers and not enough on their students' needs.
Perhaps this is part of the process that novice teachers must go though.
Ruthie begins to recognize this problem in herself in one of her diary
entries when she describes her decision not to tell her students that
her teaching partner would be late:
23. I didn't tell the students that [my partner] wasn't coming till the end
of the first hour-I think because I was afraid they would think, "Oh
god, we have to be with her for the whole 2hours-what a drag. . . . "
TESOLQUARTERLY
Can you believe how insecure I am about how my students perceive
me? I know I shouldn't be focusing on that; what I should focus on is
how to best serve my students . . . but I think the two things are related
in my mind.
And it was not until the end of the semester, when the teachers were
asked to reread their diaries and make their own analysis of them,
that Rachel realized in her discussion with a colleague that she had
not written anything about her students' needs all semester. In her
analysis, she writes,
24. I asked Lee if she had learned anything from doing the final project
and she said, "Yes . . . I learned I should keep my own insecurity out
of it andjust worry about what the class is learning." She's right! That's
exactly my problem with everything this semester. I don't think I wrote
one single time, "Class doesn't seem to be getting prepositions, maybe
I'll teach it again on Wednesday."
RECOMMENDATIONSFORTEACHEREDUCATORS
From this study, I became aware of a number of experiences shared
by the novice teachers I worked with that have altered my own percep-
tion of what content should be included in a practicum course for
them and how such a course should be structured. Other teacher
educators may find the following recommendations useful in designing
their own practicum courses.
Encourage teachers to teach separate classes, but end with a collaborative
lesson. If teachers are paired up for their student teaching, as is often
the case in graduate student teaching programs, the two teachers might
be encouraged to teach separate lessons, but with the ultimate goal of
collaborative teaching (see Nunan, 1992). From this study it became
clear that novice teachers needed to feel free to discover what it means
to design and conduct a class, independent of another teacher who
had the same need. However, by the end of the semester, many of
the teachers were more open to the idea of working with their partners
in planning their lessons, especially as they were able to switch their
focus more to their students' needs and less on themselves. Because
of this, I have now added a collaborative assignment toward the end of
the first-semester practicum. For this assignment, each pair of teachers
creates a thematic lesson designed for their students and presents it
to the other teachers in our seminar. This activity occurs toward the
end of the semester because it was at this point in the teachers' own
experience that they began to feel more open to collaborating with
INSIGHTS FROM DIARY STUDIES 145
their partners. I have found that this assignment matches the teachers'
readiness to think about collaborative thematic teaching.
Encourage the use of a variety of sources rather than the use of one
textbook. Whether the teachers in this study used their textbooks on
a regular basis or not, they all felt guilty about them. Many of the
teachers felt a need to be creative, knowing that this was their chance
to experiment in their teaching. The textbook, rather than providing
a springboard for ideas, only made them feel constrained and con-
fused. If they used the student text, they wondered if they should
have created their own materials. If they did not use the student text,
they worried that their students were not happy. From this study, it
appears that novice teachers may find it beyond their expertise to
appropriately (a) choose a text, (b) select and exclude chapters of a
text, and (c) improvise on a text. Without teaching experience, they
lack the necessary knowledge to choose an appropriate text for their
students. Yet, if a text is chosen for them, they may feel their curricu-
lum has been imposed and will resent using the textbook. This was
found to be the case the following semester with a group of teachers
not involved in this study. They may also feel uncomfortable not doing
activities or chapters in a textbook that they perceive to be an integral
part of their course. If, however, novice teachers are encouraged to
use a wide variety of resources in their first teaching experience, to
experiment with many different teaching activities, they may be better
informed or better able to choose and work with a textbook in future
teaching experiences.
Take students on an earlyjield trip. Many of the teachers in this study
took field trips at the end of the teaching semester only to discover too
late the benefits of out-of-classroom experiences. Teacher educators
might consider promoting the idea of taking a field trip with students
early in the semester. This way, the teachers would be able to compare
student interactions and learning in the classroom with student interac-
tions and learning outside the classroom early in their teaching experi-
ence. In fact, teacher educators might even consider taking their stu-
dent teachers on a field trip at the beginning of the practicum. This
field trip could be designed with pre- and postlearninglteaching activi-
ties similar to those that occur in conjunction with ESL class field trips:
(a) getting the students to predict what they'll see and to pose key
questions, (b) reviewing vocabulary relevant to the setting of the field
trip, (c) planning strategies for getting information from participants
in the setting, and (d) reviewing and interpreting the findings after
the field trip. After a field trip, student teachers could discuss their
own reactions to being outside the classroom with their instructor.
TESOL QUARTERLY 146
Conduct student needs analyses and feedback sessions. Several of the
teachers in this study reflected on the fact that they had taught their
students for 10 weeks without having much of an idea of who their
students were or why they were studying English. In a practicum,
novice teachers could be asked to develop a student needs analysis for
their first day of teaching. These needs analyses could then be discussed
in seminars with the intent of developing further analyses or feedback
techniques during the semester. By systematically checking whether
or not the lessons are meeting the needs of their students, teachers
will naturally focus more on their students and less on themselves
earlier in their first teaching experience. If feedback sessions are a
regular part of a lesson, teachers might change their perception of
control.
Give specific observation tasks. When teachers are preoccupied with
the act of teaching, they are often unable to see their teaching. It is
often through observing other teachers that we become aware of our
own teaching. In this study, many teachers chose not to correct their
students' errors, but by the end of the teaching semester these same
teachers discussed the importance of error correction and their new
awareness that their students wanted feedback on errors. Some of
the teachers also began to realize that teacher-centered activities were
sometimes effective, challenging their assumptions that student-
centered learning is the only goal of the ESL classroom. With focused
observations, teacher educators may facilitate the process of these
realizations. For example, I have designed observation forms that list
many of the typical techniques for error correction (see Appendix B).
The teachers observe many classes focusing only on error correction.
What they ultimately find is that novice teachers do very little error
correction, thus raising their consciousness about the role of error
correction in teaching English. By focusing on another teacher's teach-
ing, they begin to see the consequences of dealing or not dealing with
students' errors. Another observation task I have used asks teachers
to tally teacher and student interactions (see Fanselow, 1987; Wajnryb,
1992). Their results ultimately lead to a greater awareness of teacher-
versus student-centered classes, which often leads to a change in their
own teaching.
Require a grammar course for novice teachers. Lack of knowledge in
grammar was probably one of the biggest concerns of the teachers in
th;s study. Their diary entries consistently reflected a lack of security
in their teaching of grammar. Novice teachers who have received no
formal instruction in English grammar may feel particularly un-
equipped to deal with the kinds of questions posed by ESL students
INSIGHTS FROM DIARY STUDIES 147
who have previously had a great deal of formal grammar instruction.
Whether teachers choose to teach grammar explicitly or use a more
inductive approach to teaching grammar, they can be sure that stu-
dents' questions will abound. In the master's program in which these
teachers study, a grammar course is recommended but not required
for degree completion. If novice teachers were to take a grammar
course prior to or in conjunction with their first teaching practicum,
they might have more security facing their students' questions.
CONCLUSION
At a minimum, diary studies of teacher education experiences pro-
vide a limited lens for viewing the personal experiences of a particular
group of new teachers. A primarily hypothesis-generating research
tool (Allwright, 1983; Gaies, 1983; Long, 1980; Matsumoto, 1987), the
diary study has been categorized as the least structured, least controlled
means of conducting research in teacher education because it is by
necessity anecdotal and subjective (Bailey, 1987; van Lier, 1988). Yet,
unlike other forms of research gathering, the diary study is "a real
insider instrument" (McDonough, 1994, p. 63) that can provide in-
sights to teacher educators; in fact, a comparison of diarists' experi-
ences can raise important issues related to the novice teacher's experi-
ence. A secondary analysis of novice teachers' diary studies offers
insights into some of the unobservable affective factors influencing
their experience. Moreover, if multiple subjects are used and diary
data are quantified in some way, the results may be more generalizable
to other novice teachers than if just one self-observational study is
done (Matsumoto, 1987; Schumann, 1980).
In this secondary analysis of diary studies, I found issues of concern
to novice teachers that I had not been aware of when first designing
a practicum course for them. By reading their diaries and analyses of
their teaching, I was able to discover what was most important to
these teachers in their own learning process and to uncover recurrent
"cultural themes" (Spradley, 1980, p. 140) particular to them during
their early teaching experiences. Without this analysis, I would have
been unaware of some the early preoccupations of novice teachers. I
would not be aware of some of the reasons teachers choose to use or
not to use particular teaching techniques with which they had been
taught. And I am left more aware of their discoveries about effective
teaching and their continued frustrations. These realizations have
helped inform my own teacher education curriculum.
As teacher educators, our job is to facilitate the process of becoming
a language teacher. If we begin with where the teachers are when they
TESOL QUARTERLY 148
first set out to acquire expertise in teaching, we may be able to offer
them more. As Bailey (1991) notes, "In an age when both pedagogy
and curriculum development have recognized the learner's central
role, it is appropriate that researchers should also bring the learner
into the picture" (p. 87).
Just as teachers might do a needs analysis to discover where their
students' interests and needs lie, teacher educators can discover the
more immediate interests and needs of their student teachers. In devel-
oping a teacher education program for novice teachers, we might begin
by focusing on those common experiences that are a natural part of
the learning process. This way, we might facilitate the process of novice
teachers' becoming skilled at the art of teaching, the point when they
apply their unique set of personal skills according to the demands of
specific situations (Freeman & Richards, 1993), a point best explained
by Deborah in one of her last diary entries:
25. Today, for the first time, I really felt like a "teacher." This is because
I was able to integrate everything to a degree that was smooth, confi-
dent, and well-received. I felt comfortable with my presentation, I
was energetic but relaxed, I had a good lesson plan that was fully
accomplished in the hour, my structuring went well, I was able to keep
everything on track and choose what was a meaningful use of my time
and which to throw away. . . . I remember feeling like this when I was
taking tennis lessons and that marvelous moment, after eight hours of
swatting air, running up and down the court and performing incredible
feats of contortion in pursuit of yellow balls, when everything came
together (for the first time, for a moment) and I was coordinated and
graceful. I was still a beginner, but for that class I felt like a tennis
player.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I would like to acknowledge the teachers who participated in this study. Addition-
ally, I thank Linda Tobash-Gilliland and the two anonymous reviewers for their
helpful suggestions. I am grateful to my colleagues at the American Language
Program for their support and to John Fanselow for opening up new perspectives
for further study.
THEAUTHOR
Carol Numrich is Lecturer at the American Language Program, Columbia Univer-
sity. She currently serves as Adjunct Assistant Professor at Teachers College,
Columbia University, where she directs the MA Program in TESOL. She is the
INSIGHTS FROM DIARY STUDIES 149
author of Face the Issues, Consider the Issues, and Raise the Issues (LongmanIAddison
Wesley).
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Allwright, D., & Bailey, K. (1990). Focus on the language classroom: An introduction
to classroom research for language teachers. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
Bailey, K. D. (1987). Methods of social research (3rd ed.). New York: Free Press.
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MA: Newbury House.
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Bailey, K. M. (1991). Diary studies of classroom language learning: The doubting
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Carter, K. (1993). The place of story in the study of teaching and teacher educa-
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Fanselow, J. (1987). Breaking rules: Generating and exploring alternatives in language
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Freeman, D., & Richards, J. (1993). Conceptions of teaching and the education
of second language teachers. TESOL Quarterly, 27, 193-2 16.
Gaies, S. J. (1983). The investigation of classroom processes. TESOL Quarterly, 17,
205-2 17.
Johnson, K. (1992). Learning to teach: Instructional actions and decisions of
preservice ESL teachers. TESOL Quarterly, 26, 507-534.
Long, M. H. (1980). Inside the "black box": Methodological issues in classroom
research on language learning. Language Learning, 30, 1-42.
Matsumoto, K. (1987). Diary studies of second language acquisition: A critical
overview. JALT Journal, 9, 17-34.
McDonough, J . (1994). A teacher looks at teachers' diaries. ELT Journal, 48, 57-
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Nunan, D. (1989). Understanding language classrooms: A guzde for teacher-initiated
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TESOL QUARTERLY 150
Palmer, C. (1992). Diaries for self-assessment and INSET programme evaluation.
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INSIGHTS FROM DIARY STUDIES
APPENDIX A
Keepinga Diary
Herearesomesuggestionsonhow toapproach thewritingof your diary:
1. Setasidea regular time and placeeachdayinwhichtowritein your diary.
2. Plan onallowinganamountof time forwritingwhich is atleastequalto the period of
time spentin thelanguageclassroom.
3. Keepyour diary inasafe,secure placesoyou will feelfreetowritewhateveryou wish.
4. Do not worry about your style,grammar,ororganization, especiallyif you arewriting
in your secondlanguage.
5. Carry a smallpocket notebook with you so you can make notes about your language
teaching experiencewhenever you wish.
6. Support your insights with examples. When you write something down,ask yourself,
"Why doI feelthatis important?"
7. Write in thefirstperson. It's more personal.
8. Write anything and everything you feel. When you revise your diary for the "public
version," theclass project, you will be ableto edit outanything too personal or embar-
rassing.
Note. Adapted fromBailey (1990,pp.215-226).
TESOLQUARTERLY
APPENDIXB
Observation#3: Error Correction
Observe3differentteachersfor30-minutesegments(onesegmentcouldbefromarecording
of your ownteaching).Tallythenumberof timesyou observethefollowingtypesof error
correction:
Teachersaysanswer is incorrect andwaits forstudenttotryagain
Teachersaysno,askssomeoneelse
Teachercorrectsstudent (givesanswer)
Teacherrepeatsstudent'sincorrect answer ...
usesfacialexpression toindicateerror
usesintonationto indicateerror
Teacherwritesstudent'sansweronblackboard, highlightingerror
Teacherwritesbeginning of student'sanswerandasksclasstocomplete
Teacherdraws student's attentiontoform
Teacheracceptsstudent's answerbut repeatsit with correct grammar
Teacherasksstudent torepeat answer(studentself-corrects)
Pronunciation
Teacherrepeatsanswerwithcorrected pronunciation
Teacherisolatesproblem sound and hasstudentcorrect answer
Teacherrepeatsanswerwith appropriateintonation
Teacher uses blackboard toshowsound inwriting (letters;phonetic symbols;drawing)-
Teachershowsstudentarticulation of problem sound
Other(list)
INSIGHTSFROM DIARYSTUDIES
You have printed the following article:
On Becoming a Language Teacher: Insights from Diary Studies
Carol Numrich
TESOL Quarterly, Vol. 30, No. 1. (Spring, 1996), pp. 131-153.
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References
Classroom-Centered Research on Language Teaching and Learning: A Brief Historical
Overview
Dick Allwright
TESOL Quarterly, Vol. 17, No. 2. (Jun., 1983), pp. 191-204.
Stable URL:
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The Place of Story in the Study of Teaching and Teacher Education
Kathy Carter
Educational Researcher, Vol. 22, No. 1. (Jan. - Feb., 1993), pp. 5-12+18.
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- Page 1 of 2 -
Learning to Teach: Instructional Actions and Decisions of Preservice ESL Teachers
Karen E. Johnson
TESOL Quarterly, Vol. 26, No. 3. (Autumn, 1992), pp. 507-535.
Stable URL:
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LINKED CITATIONS
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