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Cnn's unhinged list features the opinions of computer programmer Rob Earhart. In his absence, Chris Hanson will provide your standard bitterness, angst and controversial statements. -Rob Earhart life is cool, netscape blows. If god meant for us to program, he's a sadist.
Cnn's unhinged list features the opinions of computer programmer Rob Earhart. In his absence, Chris Hanson will provide your standard bitterness, angst and controversial statements. -Rob Earhart life is cool, netscape blows. If god meant for us to program, he's a sadist.
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Cnn's unhinged list features the opinions of computer programmer Rob Earhart. In his absence, Chris Hanson will provide your standard bitterness, angst and controversial statements. -Rob Earhart life is cool, netscape blows. If god meant for us to program, he's a sadist.
Droits d'auteur :
Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
Formats disponibles
Téléchargez comme DOC, PDF, TXT ou lisez en ligne sur Scribd
Boy, my office sure is quiet NOW THAT MY HP IS DEAD AS A ROCK!!!
-Rob Earhart Coming up with a Cool Name is the hardest part of writing a new program. -Rob Earhart Compaq was founded by a farmer. Or is it just a coincidence that their definition of "customer service" seems to come from its use in animal husbandry? -Rob Earhart Due to unforeseen circumstances, Rob Earhart will not be able to perform today; in his absence, your standard bitterness, angst, and controversial statements on the unhinged list will be provided by Chris Hanson. We apologize for the inconvenience. -Rob Earhart God: Santa Claus for adults. -Rob Earhart here's a nickle, kid. go buy yourself a real computer. -Rob Earhart I'm obviously the James Joyce of computer programming. -Rob Earhart i'm up at 3:40 in the morning because i can't get back to sleep after waking up from a dream in which i was recompiling my kitten with #define DISABLE_SHARP_CLAWS and #define NO_TRACK_CAT_LITTER. -Rob Earhart I've been feeling quite depressed lately. So Dan says I should see this movie; something called "The Wall." Anyone know what it's about? -Rob Earhart I've got your signal RIGHT HERE. -Rob Earhart if god meant for us to program, he's a sadist. -Rob Earhart life is cool, netscape blows -Rob Earhart Look, dude, I jump out of planes for kicks. Going half as fast just for the thrill of wondering whether or not four rubber balloons will actually manage to keep me on the road instead of sliding off the edge and dying is reasonably cool, but more horsepower isn't gonna make it cooler... -Rob Earhart Look, if you didn't insist on using HTTP to walk your dog, maybe you wouldn't get screwed by it so often. -Rob Earhart MS is just the biggest/most visible target. MS's products suck in some ways; so do everyone's; people're just much more likely to have had to deal with MS products. I was an Ultrix/SunOS/Solaris/HPUX/IRIX/Linux sysadmin for years, I've used several other varieties of Unix a lot (Mach, AIX, &c), I've done Mac dev, and now I've had my fingers deep in NT. I've programmed in dozens of languages, seen an incredible variety of systems, and used countless applications. Everything Sucks. -Rob Earhart So the guys with the alpha are whining. They selected 'reset system to factory defaults.' It erased the disk. -Rob Earhart SQL makes one feel like a "traditional" housewife: it does a lot of heavy work for you, and brings home the bacon, but you gotta prepare to get screwed every so often. -Rob Earhart Well, come ON. You're in CA, you know how to TURN ON a computer, are you going to go work for the freakin' DMV? No, you're going to go work for some STARTUP and make a couple billion dollars and whine about how those jerks at the DMV can't get their systems computerized properly. -Rob Earhart Women wonder why men aren't romantic; it's like wondering why your wonderfully playful dog who you kicked in the head last night when it tried to greet you at the door is looking rather sullen. -Rob Earhart Yeah! I should exchange keys with all the west-coasters while I'm out here, and then I can exchange keys with all the east-coasters, and as long as you all believe that I'm sufficiently anal-retentive, we can encrypt everything! Or something. -Rob Earhart Your silence speaks volumes, or if not volumes, at least the occasional unpunctuated paragraph. -Windom Earle "Twin Peaks" Freaky Boys never actually have sex with anybody. They just think about it then go to McDonald's and kill a lot of people. -Tony Earley I am looking for Henry Miller. I think he has stolen my life. It is my life he is leading, stumbling around with - French people and eating roots with the natives. Those roots he eats are my roots - my family roots. He devours them with gusto, with a verve and a nerve that excludes me from the action. After searching high and low, I spy him engaged in the usual drunken debauchery, and call him out. "Henry," I shout, "put down the oranges of Heronimus Bosch and let's fight to the death like caged animals. With your command of the native tongue, linguistic dexterity and your prose, so generously peppered with obscenities, you should trounce me like an old lady. That's some kind of funny life you are leading - I wonder who you stole it from." -Elliot Peter Earls, The Apollo Program Wasn't it Sheila E., that drummer woman who danced with Prince with such reckless abandon - aren't her words the fountainhead of all our problems? These words are the source from which all flows and to which all returns. She is indeed both the Tigris and the Euphrates. -Elliot Peter Earls, The Apollo Program I already have a guilty conscience... I might as well have the money too. -Wyatt Earp, "Tombstone" I have strong feelings about gun control. If there's a gun around, I want to be controlling it. -Clint Eastwood There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again. -Clint Eastwood If you call yourself a Designer, quit design, take up a new occupation (like tax auditor), buy some non-black clothes, normal-sized glasses, burn your AIGA card, and do design only as a hobby for awhile. Seriously. -Eric Eaton I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happen to them all. -Ecclesiastes 9:11 Science is not a sacred cow. Science is a horse. Don't worship it. Feed it. -Aubrey Eben Everyone is a freshman at one point. A few grow out of it. -Roger Ebert Only an idiot doesn't go into his e-mail preferences and specify Plain Text instead of HTML. This is such a sane use of resources I believe it was actually mentioned in the Kyoto Accord. -Roger Ebert "Pearl Harbor" is a two-hour movie squeezed into three hours, about how on Dec. 7, 1941, the Japanese staged a surprise attack on an American love triangle. Its centerpiece is 40 minutes of redundant special effects, surrounded by a love story of stunning banality. The film has been directed without grace, vision, or originality, and although you may walk out quoting lines of dialog, it will not be because you admire them. -Roger Ebert That he will pay extra for star quality is proven by the presence of Ron Jeremy as Clark, the co-star of the movie he is making. Jeremy, for those not willing to admit they know who he is, has been in more porn films than anyone else. His popularity is easily explained: Every man alive believes that any woman would prefer him to Ron Jeremy. -Roger Ebert The clothing of the characters and the absence of cars and telephones and suchlike suggest either the 1890s, or an Amish community. Everyone speaks as if they had studied "Friendly Persuasion." The chief civic virtues are probity and circumspection. Here is a village that desperately needs an East Village. -Rober Ebert, review of M. Night Syamalan's "The Village" "Brilliant," says the professor. "Very finely put. But I didn't quite understand it. Could you repeat it?" I write the sentence down in my notebook, like everyone else in the seminar. "The ode must traverse the problem of solipsism before it can approach participating in the unity which is no longer accessible." When I have pieced it together, I realise he is talking nonsense. I am struck by the thought that literary criticism - at least as it is practised here - is a hoax. -Helena Echlin The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else. -Umberto Eco The terminal death of the universe is not for tomorrow. -Umberto Eco In the issues of December 16th 2000 to November 10th 2001, we may have given the impression that George Bush had been legally and duly elected president of the United States. We now understand that this may have been incorrect, and that the election result is still too close to call. The Economist apologises for any inconvenience. -The Economist The trouble with this view is, er, the facts. -The Economist, Dec 20, 2001 I doubt my getting fired from the Dairy Queen is a bellwether of recession, but it sure is a bellwether of I stuck my wang in the butterscotch. -Jake Edie I do not believe that any type of religion should ever be introduced into the public schools of the United States. -Thomas Edison Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. -Thomas Edison There ain't no rules around here. We're trying to accomplish something. -Thomas Edison To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk. -Thomas Edison A little learning is a dangerous thing but a lot of ignorance is just as bad. -Bob Edwards About the only people who don't quarrel over religion are the people who don't have any. -Bob Edwards The acid test is whether you take any pleasure in responding to the question, "What do you do?" I can't bear it. That's the danger of midtown Manhattan, running into far more successful contemporaries. -Dick Edwards, Metroplitan The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy. -Louisiana governor Edwin Edwards Oh come on now. The minor deities are so eager to please, and the major ones have backlogs out to the end of time. Pray to your favorite minor deity - you won't be sorry. -Mark Edwards A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear and punshiment and hope of reward after death. -Albert Einstein Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not more so. -Albert Einstein Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. -Albert Einstein He (or she) to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead. -Albert Einstein He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice. -Albert Einstein I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. -Albert Einstein If A equal success, then the formula is A equals X plus Y and Z, with X being work, Y play, and Z keeping your mouth shut. -Albert Einstein If relativity is proved right the Germans will call me a German, the Swiss call me a Swiss citizen, and the French will call me a great scientist. If relativity is proved wrong the French will call me a Swiss, the Swiss will call me a German, and the Germans will call me a Jew. -Albert Einstein Imagination is more important than knowledge. -Albert Einstein Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion. -Albert Einstein Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. -Albert Einstein Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. -Albert Einstein So far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain. And so far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. -Albert Einstein The important thing is never to stop questioning. -Albert Einstein The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency. -Albert Einstein The physicist's greatest tool is his wastebasket. -Albert Einstein The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking...the solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker. -Albert Einstein The World is not dangerous because of those who do harm but because of those who look at it without doing anything. -Albert Einstein There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. -Albert Einstein We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. -Albert Einstein When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, you think it's only a minute. But when you sit on a hot stove for a minute, you think it's two hours. That's relativity. -Albert Einstein You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat. -Albert Einstein Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is humanity hanging on a cross of iron. -Dwight D. Eisenhower I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them have it. -Dwight D. Eisenhower Planning is everything; plans are nothing. -Dwight D. Eisenhower My father is Palestinian which explains my violent tendencies and my mom is Irish which explains my violent tendencies as well. -Nadiya El-Khatib I think the great lesson of the 20th century is that you have to separate the ethics from the aesthetics...The great lesson there is that you don't have to agree with what the Nazis did, but, yes, be honest about it, they did have the best uniforms. A lot of people can't come to terms with something as banal as that. -Andrew Eldritch If you design systems as though your immortal soul depended on them, then you will tend to build more reliable systems. -Electric Communities, "Dicing with the Devil: An Introduction to Secure Protocol Design Using E Examples" The way I lost weight was to be unemployed and deeply depressed, sleep through breakfast and lunch, and have very little money to buy dinner. Willpower was not an issue. -Jonathan Elgart Why waste negative entropy on comments, when you could use the same entropy to create bugs instead? -Steve Elias I suppose some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers. -T. S. Eliot I did a Taco Bell commercial where I just sort of bopped around, eating a taco in this crowd having a big party in a Taco Bell parking lot. I think the extras got paid in burritos. Then that Chihuahua came along and stole all our jobs. -Shannon Elizabeth There are all these different religions. What are they all arguing about? Market share! -Chris Elliot My philosophy of life is that the meek shall inherit nothing but debasement, frustration, and ignoble deaths... -Harlan Ellison The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. -Harlan Ellison Your children use drugs, and you told them to do it. You've been pushing chemicals on TV for years: "Can't sleep? Take a drug. Not happy? Take a drug." ... Where in the world did people get the idea that it's smart to get in a car and go fast? To get in a 4x4 and tear up virgin land. You told them to do it. As much as you're subject to the whims of your deranged clients, you rule the world. You have the reins to the most powerful medium in the world - television. And the only people who can afford to advertise on television are the lowest common denominator of goods ... stuff like McDonald's toad burgers. -Harlan Ellison As you know, we take requests for terminations very seriously. Yours was no exception. In our continuing efforts to provide the very best customer service to out-of-state clients, your request has been granted. The requested subject was taken behind the barn and shot. -Jeremy Elson It was an adolescent prank. I highly recommend it. -Larry Ellison We've had three major generations of computing: mainframes, client/server and Internet computing. There will be no new architecture for computing for the next 1,000 years. -Larry Ellison Why does Woodside have lots of rich people driving pickup trucks? Late-model, clean pickup trucks with leather seats, they've got cachet, as in: "I'm not a materialistic person and I can prove it -- I drive a pickup truck." Trouble is, for me, I need a back seat for my kids, my briefcase, my topcoat and, you know, the $4 million in cash that people think I drive around with. -Larry Ellison A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. -Ralph Waldo Emerson Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet. Then all things are at risk. It is as when a conflagration has broken out in a great city, and no man knows what is safe, or where it will end. -Ralph Waldo Emerson He walks abreast with his days, and feels no shame in not 'studying a profession,' for he does not postpone his life, but lives already. He has not one chance, but a hundred chances. -Ralph Waldo Emerson Heroism feels and never reasons, and therefore is always right. -Ralph Waldo Emerson I hate quotations. -Ralph Waldo Emerson It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude. -Ralph Waldo Emerson Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. -Ralph Waldo Emerson only in our easy, simple, spontaneous action are we strong. -Ralph Waldo Emerson Society never advances. It recedes as fast on one side as it gains on the other. For every thing that is given, something is taken. Society aquires new arts, and looses old instincts...The civilized man has built a coach, but has lost the use of his feet ...His notebooks impair his memory; his libraries overload his wit; the insurance office increases the number of accidents; and it may be a question whether machinery does not encumber; whether we have not lost by refinement some energy, by a Christianity entrenched in establishments and forms, some vigor of wild virtue....The arts and inventions of each period are only its costume, and do not invigorate men. The harm of the improved machinery may compensate its good. -Ralph Waldo Emerson The solar system has no anxiety about its reputation. -Ralph Waldo Emerson The true poem is in the poet's mind; the true ship is the ship-builder. -Ralph Waldo Emerson To be great is to be misunderstood. -Ralph Waldo Emerson It is a statistical impossibility that everyone in the neighborhood can be a complete butthead. -Dave Engledow A friend who was working at the Microsoft booth said that a number of people had come up and asked to see it but that (a) the people working at the Microsoft booth were Mac folks and (b) they didn't want to be tarred and feathered, an activity of some historical note in Boston. -Adam Engst Naturally, we went the wacky capitalization route, though we admit that it takes hard work, not just wacky capitalization, to make for a super-cool product. -Adam Engst the only thing vaguely scary about today's youth culture is its unprecedented purchasing power -Entertainment Weekly The truth is out there. Over behind that rock. Oh, wait. It moved. -Matthew Epp ... and we're doing it in such a way that we don't need to know why we're doing it... -Dr. Michael Erdmann, on continuations in Scheme Life is like a Wankel Engine. In between the emptiness of boredom and despair, and the compression of stress in one's life, there's that one spark of enjoyment that keeps you going. -Lars Ericson We must free ourselves from the prison of public education and politics. -Epicurus, 300 B.C. A girl with a future avoids the man with a past. -Evan Esar You have four years to escape with a degree. If you do not escape... you become staff. -Dan Goldwasser and Brendan Dunham Give me a couple of Uzis, a 44 Magnum, a couple grenades, a USAS 20 automatic shotgun with napalm and explosive rounds, and... a crossbow. -Chris Esko I guess you miss the cool things when you're a mortal. -Chris Esko Seeing that the criminal justice system was not defending my rights, I released myself into my own custody. -Chris Esko "Excuse me son, are you aware you were going 130mph back there? Hey, what's with the assault rifles strapped to your bike?" "Just headed for Washington, D.C., officer." -Axel Essbaum if yer offended by naked devil-women giving each other oral sex you shouldn't walk in and say "what kind of music do you listen to?" -Axel Essbaum The best thing about logging in from home is you can listen to music as loud as you want. -Axel Essbaum What's this "signal to noise" ratio? How'd you define "noise"? -Axel Essbaum nevermind, just answered my own question. if i can't shoot her, i'll sleep with her. -Sarah Esser Heaven is by Grace. If it was by merit you'd stay out & your dog would go in. -Noel Estabrook When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child....eventually. -Noel Estabrook A peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and a mug of Jasmine tea. What more could a man want besides this and incredible wealth? -Elliott Evans When you go to vote, make sure not to flip your coin up so high that the other people see it, and make sure you catch it and don't have to go crawling around on the floor looking for it while hundreds of waiting voters snicker or you'll be really embarassed. -Elliott Evans Dear lord, please grant me the skill and ammunition to kill everyone who deserves to be killed, the judgment to pass over those who don't, and the wisdom to ignore the difference and just kill everybody. -Elliott Evans Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side. -Elliott Evans I have come to the decision that "user-friendly" is basically a mistake because it allows any idiot to use a computer. Just like automatic transmissions are a mistake for the same reason. Also books on tape, instant coffee, and disposable pens, but I digress. -Elliott Evans I've just about had it with this 'kinkier than thou' attitude. -Elliott Evans I shot Jon and all I got was his bloody tshirt. -Elliott Evans If you committed a crime, they can only hold you for 24 hours without pressing charges, but if they just say, "He's nuts!" they can hold you for five times that; they just have to do it in a different building with "orderlies" instead of "guards." Moral: If you're going to be locked up, make sure it's for something you did, not something you thought. -Elliott Evans Just because you're not a member of the conspiracy, doesn't mean it isn't cool. -Elliott Evans ...some of the newer beepers also have a vibra-mode. Don't keep these in your pants- pocket, kids.....I'm so glad you called. -Elliott Evans The rhetoric of the pedagogy of the opressed really bites my weenie. -Elliott Evans After long thought, I and several of my friends came to the conclusion that this was designed to prevent cheating. I won't comment on that: The idea that any student here could not cheat if they wanted to is more insulting than the implication that they would. -Ethan Evans When will Microsoft embrace & extend porn? -Scott Evans