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Reddit, has anyone here actually killed another human being? What
24
was it like? (Serious) ( self.AskReddit )
this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2014
submitted 5 days ago * (last edited 4 days ago) by this-is_bullshit
2,485points(87%upvoted)
Wether it was murder, self defence, accidental or any other type. Please share
your story. Edit. Wow front page. Not expected. Thanks everyone for telling your
story's, that would have been very difficult. I'll be reading through them for the
next year by the looks of it.
EDIT 2: wow everyone, this has been bursting with feels. it has shown some really
good qualities in people and also some really dark situations. thanks again for
sharing what would of had to of been hard to share. keep your chins up and keep
on keeping on. As Mrs Gump would say "dying is just a part of life". Also anyone
that's suffering from PTSD and or depression, PLEASE seek help for it. There is
plenty of support out there for you so please don't hesitate to help yourself .
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[–] traintrash
2224 points 5 days ago
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I work for the railroad. I've killed 3 people in my 12 years on the rail. Two were suicides.
That didn't really bother me.
The one that really got me though was hitting a family at a crossing right before
Christmas. The roads were icey and they couldn't get stopped in time. My train hit the car
dead center on the passenger side, killing the mother instantly. It spun them around and
flipped the car off the tracks. The two kids and the dad walked away with minor injuries.
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[–] blueknight73
1072 points 5 days ago
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i was an engineer for over 30 years, hit 13 cars, but never killed anyone in a car. i did
run over a guy who committed suicide. he laid his head on the rail. we were going 60
MPH, could not stop
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[–] bostomelb
608 points 5 days ago
My dad has worked with tons of Engineers for this exact issue. He helps them to
deal with the emotional toll it can take on the engineers. He's got tons of horrible
stories like this, no one realises when they're commiting suicide what they're doing
to the person watching it happen helplessly. Feel bad for both
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[–] styrofoamboots7
1839 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)
x3
A few years ago, my life had reached an all time low. This coupled with the
fact that I saw no relief in sight, I decided it was time to die. While I waited
for the train, all I could think about was my own pain, which would all be over
soon. People always say that in what they think will be their last moments,
their life flashes before their eyes. As the train neared the station, that wasn't
what I saw at all. Instead, I saw all the traumatized people around me who'd
have to go home and think about that kid who jumped into the tracks right in
front of them. I thought about the poor janitor getting payed minimum wage
who'd have to wipe my guts off the tracks. I thought about the years of
therapy the conductor would have to go through.
TL;DR: I got on the train and went home.
EDIT: Wow, who knew my top comment would be about an almost suicide
attempt? Thanks for all the kind words; reddit really is the best community.
This was a long time ago and I can assure you I am no longer suicidal. That's
not to say that everything is all better, but I have decided to stick it out and
see where life goes. And thanks to whoever gave me gold! First time I've
gotten it.
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[–] Moose_Joose
129 points 4 days ago
As a railroader that has witnessed suicide, thank you. I really hope you're
doing much better.
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516 points 4 days ago
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You're a wonderful person who in his lowest moment still thought of others. I hope
You're a wonderful person who in his lowest moment still thought of
others. I hope everything is going well for you now :)
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[–] DrummingViking
130 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)
I indirectly killed my mom.
To shorten it when I was 11 my mom became sick and it led to her begin bed ridden. I was
the only one to take care of her and I did. I walked to the grocery, helped her to the
bathroom and helped her with everything. I would wake up, make her and I breakfast.
Make her a lunch and store some drinks in a cooler next to her bed. Go to school, come
straight home and help her to the bathroom/make dinner/ homework, rinse repeat.
This went on until I was 18. At the time we were living in my dads extra house but his
new wife didn't like his ex wife living in a home of his so he was evicting us. I took my
mom to the doctor and he basically told her she'd be like this for the rest of her life and
would need someone to take care of her.
The next week my grandma (my dads mom) had a stroke and was in the hospital. My dad
called me and I was getting my mom ready to go see her and my dad told me not to bring
her that Hannah(name changed) doesn't want my mom there.
This broke my moms heart, she knew my grandma for 40+ years. She was crying and
yelling and I was crying and stressed because of college, my grandma, my mom, my dad,
everyone. So I yelled at my mom. I don't remember what I said exactly but I remember
yelling "Just get over it" and I left for the hospital.
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I came back a few hours later and found my mom in her room. She had shot herself. Just
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like that my whole world and life I had known was gone. Not a day goes by that I don't
blame myself for being the final nail in my moms coffin.
The only thing to make it all worse was a cleanup crew was too expensive so I cleaned up
the 'aftermath' on my own.
Nobody expects to be 18 and cleaning parts of their moms brain off their bed.
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[–] coolkix
1705 points 5 days ago
Relationships
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14 years ago I (12yrs old) was riding a bike in the park with friends. A buddy of mine
Tip of my Tongue
Self-Oriented
challenged me to a game of chicken. We were to ride directly towards the street, and first
to chicken out and not cross lost. As I was approaching the street I slammed the brakes
before the curb and a car was coming around the bend who swerved because he thought
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The car was about to catch fire so my friend and I removed him from the vehicle. He told
the cops it wasn't my fault. That he swerved because he thought I was going to cross
the street but that I was stopped. The man died the next day in the hospital. It still
shakes me up a bit to realize I caused that because of a stupid game with a friend. I
never rode a bike again until last year.
a community for 6 years
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[–] PlatinumDice
2648 points 5 days ago
A few years ago I was driving home from work in a snow storm. The trip from work to
home was about 54kms, it was about 1030pm, and probably about -40 with the wind. A
man stepped out onto the road in front of me. He was outside my headlight range but i
managed to catch the glint of something. Years of driving that road i learned to react
quickly to little things. (Deer or other animals eyes reflect light) I managed to skid and slid
to a stop only lightly bumping him as he didn't move. He got into the car, smelling strongly
of booze and through the slurs he told me thst he needed to get to Lloydminister, a city
about an hours drive from my location. I told him i wasn't driving to the city but I would
drop him off at the bar/motel in the little town I lived close by call Chauvin. I did and along
the way he told me he needed to see his daughter and it couldn't wait. No idea why but
he was clearly drunk and freezing so i just agreed. I left him at he bar which he went into
and drove home. Several days later i learned that he had gone back out shortly after and
froze to death on the side of the road. He was trying to get to the city to see his
daughter in the hospital. She died the day he did. It wasn't really my fault but i feel like I
should have at least talked to the people in the bar before I went home. I just wanted to
get home as soon as possible cause the weather was getting worse.
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[–] followmarko
1109 points 5 days ago
DEADB33F
karmanaut
I feel like this is one of the saddest stories in this thread.
Ooer
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[–] s0cia11y_awkward
695 points 5 days ago
You went further than most would have. How were you to know he was going to beat
feet after you dropped him off? Not your fault in the slightest
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load more comments (73 replies) [–] CloggedBathtub 659 points 5 days ago My fiance was
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[–] CloggedBathtub
659 points 5 days ago
My fiance was terminal with stage 4 cancer. We were in home hospice, and towards the end I was responsible for
the distribution of meds. As she started to go, I kept calling hospice and the hospice nurse told me to keep giving
her the morphine, even beyond the amounts they had told me to initially. So I did.
I didn't feel responsible for her death then, nor do I now - the cancer killed her, not me. It wasn't until well after the
fact that it occurred to me that I may have actually killed her, but it was better than letting her die more slowly and
horribly.
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[–] ProfAPWBDumbledore
231 points 5 days ago
You didn't kill her and you did absolutely nothing wrong. You saved her from pain and if she could I bet she'd thank
you for it.
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[–] Gavinjsup
4074 points 5 days ago
I'm a respiratory therapist.
We are the ones who take people off of life support.
It's not for everyone.
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[–] JoeyFromTheRoc2
1417 points 5 days ago
Weird question, how much schooling does it take to get a degree or certification for that? I work at a hospital and
y'all are really the only department of people I can stand.
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[–] SouthAtlanticOcean
493 points 5 days ago
To answer your question on how much schooling- there are two year programs in which you can get an associates
in respiratory care. If you're already in a hospital they may help pay for that, and it's a great way to get a job once
the schooling is done. Say hi to the head of the respiratory department sometime to express interest.
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[–] MonicasHouse
1251 points 5 days ago
MRI technician assistant here. RT's are the shit. I always have interesting conversations with them about all sorts of
things. For the most part, nurses are always busy and Doctors don't want to hear a word from you. RT's always
seem to be some humble, cool people.
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[–] Bailmox
793 points 5 days ago
Neighbor of a RT, she is awesome. Between the obscene hours she works and her superhuman ability to always be
the nicest person possible, I don't even know how she does it.
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[–] ScottyINeedMorePower
989 points 5 days ago
She's probably come to terms with death, and realized just how short and precious life is, and must have adopted a
seize-the-day attitude to make the most of it.
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[–] Peak_XV
171 points 5 days ago
I know one, and he's got a great sense of humor compared to the rest of the people in other departments.
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[–] cC2Panda
2661 points 5 days ago
Random story time.
My dad had a heart attack and when the RT came in to check on my dad she looked at him then us then at his
chart. The RT started to tear up and started talking to us.
It turned out that she had been my dad's girlfriend 40 years earlier. My dad was fine except the quintuple bypass he
required but it was a weird circumstance that 4 decades and hundreds of miles she would end up helping keep him
alive.
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[–] impatientlee
1443 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)
This is why it's best not to burn bridges as you wander through life. You never know when your paths may cross
again.
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load more comments (39 replies) [–] imperialxcereal 393 points 5 days ago You are also
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[–] imperialxcereal 393 points 5 days ago
You are also the ones who kept me calm when I had to have a chest tube changed and a new one inserted and
helped me through some pretty shitty lung times, so thank you for that.
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[–] guantanamo_baby
308 points 5 days ago
Damn. I don't know why this hadn't occurred to me. I'm a paramedic working in transport so I deal with you guys
frequently. You rock for the most part. I've never met an RT that didn't know their shit and wasn't mad professional.
I never thought about it being you cats to pull the plug. Hang in there, bro, and keep doing what you do. You guys
are amazing.
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[–] chief_running_joke_
3664 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)
I ran over someone with my car.
I was with my family going Christmas shopping when I was 16. I was driving. We were on the interstate in a pretty
high traffic area. I remember seeing someone fall from the car next to us. I'll never forget the thud the car made as
we hit another person at 70+ mph. As it turns out, he had actually stepped in front of the other car and they
knocked him into my lane. Not that it really makes a difference, but he was already gone before I hit him.
Not the ideal Christmas shopping experience.
Edit: It happened in Huntsville, AL about 9 years ago.
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[–] Hillbillyjacob
2745 points 5 days ago
That's to heavy for a 16 year old. I'm sorry that happened to you.
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[–] chief_running_joke_
1258 points 5 days ago
Thanks for the thought. Fortunately I was with my family when it happened so they were able to reassure that
there was nothing I could've done. Had I been by myself, the self-doubt would've made it a lot tougher to cope
with.
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[–] VisualizeWhirledPeas
587 points 5 days ago
When I was about 13, my family was driving home from our cabin. My dad was driving and I was sitting on the hump
thing on the floor in the back (I'm old).
Ahead of us was a pick-up truck full of kids. Little kids.
My dad hit the brakes suddenly as a river raft (one of those cheap one-person plastic things, fully inflated) comes
sailing out of the back of the pick up. OK, no problem, it's going to do no damage. This little boy, couldn't have been
more than six, stands up to get it and comes flying out the back of the truck.
My dad stops in time and my mom goes to help as she worked in a hospital at the time. There was nothing that
could be done. I wasn't even driving and I'll never forget the boy's tiny body, just lying there on the pavement. Sad
sad day.
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[–] nillotampoco
2015 points 5 days ago
That's too heavy for just about anyone of any age.
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[–] crunklepat
2549 points 5 days ago
Although its not murder, I didnt return my best friends call the night he overdosed and died.
Sometimes I feel if I answered and we hung out, I could have prevented the chain of events that occurred.
Sadly, addiction is a powerful entity.
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[–] FailureToReport
2058 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)
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Not sure if you're counting war. If not disregard. At the time when it happened I was overcome with mixed emotions, I was happy because I was part of the club, the first group of people my team killed were an Iraqi mortar team and they were actively shelling the base I lived on, which was the same base my brother was on, so the incentive to kill them was absolutely present. It didn't really start to process until maybe 5 months later, I started to sit around smoking my hooka and thinking about that day, remembering what they looked like when I was staring down at their contorted faces with their brains hanging out, holes in their neck, dried blood everywhere, then thinking of what they looked like on their ID pictures. It was very hard for me to process because we had lost so many people I felt split between satisfaction in knowing I put a huge dent in their manpower and ability to attack us, but at the same time I kept thinking about how everyone there came from a family, had a mother and was at one point a helpless child who just wanted to live and find its place in the world. (I had just had my first son while I was deployed if you can't tell by all the emotiony stuff.) During this time in my life I was also absolutely convinced I was going to die there, so I spent every down time I had sitting around contemplating what it will be like when I'm no longer self aware because I don't exist, what it will be like to not know I'm here, have no emotions, just gone. The thought that I scratched someone off from existence into oblivion is the hardest part. Edt: Oh jesus, I took the day off from Reddit to deal with some personal stuff and I come back to this incredible feedback and gold? Thank you kind stranger! I love you all :)

333 points 5 days ago

Dead on. At some point everyone was innocent. Circumstances put them on the wrong side of a hopeless conflict, but it is hard to not see them in the end as just people. Hardest part for me is to visualize those guys having kids who think their dad is invincible. When he doesn't come home it shatters that illusion.

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409 points 5 days ago

There was a thread about this a while back. I did in self defense when I was 13. This guy raped me and I think he was going to try to kill me and I ended up stabbing him. There was a whole trial and whatnot. I felt bad that he died but I don't feel bad for defending myself.

71 points 5 days ago

Just think, you killing him could've saved many other women from going through what you did.

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42 points 5 days ago

Yeah I suppose. But being a mom now, I can't imagine how his mom felt. I understand now why she wouldn't even look at me during the trial.

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load more comments (63 replies) [–] fenrisul 1268 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Kind of Dad's last words and act in this world only 14 hours after being moved to the VA hospice lungs couldn't purge CO2 anymore, hospice was more of a formality.

"Kill me now!" as he ripped off his own O2 mask to which I promptly answered "Yes sir" and made the nurses leave so I could help him on his way. April this year.

I guess

focused on seeing his pulse slow as his breaths (if you could call them that) got farther apart. I don't really want to type much more of this right now.

edit Mm

were far, far more vibrant than I had ever seen. Every detail was sharp and vivid. I did some reading about that and something about trauma and hyper-awareness came up. I'm fairly certain it started in the hospice room with my father, something like I was trying to absorb every detail about our last moments, conversations, and experiences together.

TL;DR It sucked. A lot. More of the story further in thread:

he was done and his

what it was like

knowing the end was here, I just held his hand and his head/neck. My eyes were very

the last bit of 'interesting' I'd care to mention is how I perceived the world afterward. The next few days

2131 points 5 days ago

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I'm a little late to this but really just have to get this off my
I'm a little late to this but really just have to get this off my chest, don't really have anyone to talk to this about.
This August I was involved in a car accident where a pedestrian ran out in front of my car and died. It is honestly
one of the most devistating things that has happened to me. There are things about that night that I will never
forget, like the sound of my car impacting with him, or just all the glass that was everywhere. I will forever
remember that mans name and that on August 8th at 9:29pm I killed him. The worst part about it is the first time
you remember every day that you were responsible for another persons death, your heart just sinks down into your
stomach. People try and tell me that it was not my fault and I did everything I could, but that doesn't help me at all,
all I think about is if I wasn't driving he would still be alive. I'm also really paranoid about people crossing the street
not at a crosswalk, everytime I see it I have like a little mini panic attack inside my brain. So yeah basically it sucks,
it sucks a lot, and it's something that you will never forget.
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[–] caepha
283 points 5 days ago
my cousin killed herself a few years ago by stepping out in front of a car on the highway, and it may sound wierd
but i cant help but think about where the guy/girl that hit her is now and how they were affected by it. it always
makes me think about how one day can change your entire life.
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[–] Hillbillyjacob
473 points 5 days ago
Please get some help. You need to be givin the tools to deal with this.
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[–] Hanna_isnt_dead
815 points 5 days ago
I was 13 and home alone with my little sister and heard glass breaking at the back door, then the knob rattling, then
the door squeaking. I got my sister and we ran into my dad's office. I grabbed his rifle from the shelf and told her to
hide under the desk. I stood in front of her and aimed the gun at the hallway. I heard footsteps coming this way and
a man I didn't recognize came around the corner. I pulled the trigger and everything that happened next is still a
blur.
Apparently I kept shooting until the magazine was empty, hitting the intruder 22 times. He had multiple warrants out
for his arrest for drugs, beating his girlfriend, and a string of convenience store robberies.
I lost a lot of sleep worrying it would happen again, and I still go into panic mode if I hear a suspicious noise. I
absolutely cannot relax or go back to sleep until I search the house.
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[–] 12Mucinexes
340 points 5 days ago
You may have saved your little sister and even yourself, who knows how fucked in the head that guy was.
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[–] theserial 2794 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)
Mine was through decision, but I felt as though I had personally done the deed.
Freshman year of college, a bunch of friends and I had planned on going out camping for Memorial Day weekend. At
the last minute, I changed the plans on us to go swimming and staying at my family's lake house instead, because
beds
and TV and stuff. First night and it in the water, we decided to swim out to the middle of the lake and just
tread water and laugh and splash around. After a while we all swam back to the dock and I was second to last in
front of Tommy.
Tommy never got out. I dove back in but couldn't find him anywhere. We had no phone in the cabin so after I ran
back up the hill I ran Barefoot down the gravel road to the main road then to the nearest neighbors house
hysterical. They called the police and then at the end divers found him about 12 feet from the end of the dock.
I blamed myself horribly for the change of our plans. I sat through the funeral numbly while his parents lied to me
about how much he looked forward for weeks to the swimming trip. I stopped going to my honors classes and drank
and smoked myself into an opium stupor for the rest of the semester and failed out of college. I kept abusing myself
for 2 years until I finally got myself some help with my depression over it.
Sorry for any errors, typing this on mobile on break at work.
EDIT: Thank you for your words all, I am in a much better place, albeit at a later point in my life, i'm now 34 and
about to finish the first stage of my higher education. As for how he drowned, it was never fully explained to me
beyond suspicion of him getting a cramp and going under, and I assume a gasp of pain while underwater did him in. :
(
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[–] Logicalkushthoughts
490 points 5 days ago
And where are you now in life? Have you overcome what happened? I hope you know it's not your fault.
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[–] TyrantLizardMonarch
229 points 5 days ago
How did he drown? Did he get stuck or something?
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[–] randomdragoon
1174 points 5 days ago
Drowning often doesn't look like drowning.
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[–] drehz
985 points 5 days ago
doesn't look like drowning. permalink parent [–] drehz 985 points 5 days ago converted by Web2PDFConvert.com

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I don't think that last sentence could be hammered into people's heads enough Forget "Wait
I don't think that last sentence could be hammered into people's heads enough
Forget "Wait an hour after eating
before swimming".
Kids playing in the water make noise. If they go quiet, you go to them and find out why.
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[–] chictyler
544 points 5 days ago
I was at a lake with my family. There was one other family on the beach. I took one last swim out to the float
(about a swimming pools length, first 5 meters quite shallow, then suddenly extremely deep) as my family was
walking back. As I was about 6 meters away from the shallow part I was overcome suddenly with fatigue. I couldn't
make noise out of my mouth. I could feel I was drowning. My head was falling down with not enough time to inhale
and exhale. I swam as fast as I could. I reached the shallow part just as I was about it sink. Stood up. Frantically
breathed. The family glanced at me, having not noticed me until then. I glanced back, grabbed my towel, walked up,
never mentioning it, realizing I could've died right there and it would've been a bit before anyone knew. Nearly a year
later watching the scenes in Gattaca where they swim out in the ocean gave me a ton of anxiety.
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[–] GoatSaysYes
980 points 5 days ago
When I was a kid, being quiet meant I was peeing.
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[–] Sean1117
2467 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)
Home invasion. I was 18 and I was at home by myself while my parents were out of the state. It was late at night
and I heard the door bust inward. I grabbed the shotgun underneath my bed, called 911, stayed in my room, and he
opened my door. I chambered a shell and he drew his pistol, so i shot him. Twice. Blood was everywhere. The
sheriff's office arrived about 5 minutes later(we live out in the country a ways). They told me that I did nothing
wrong. I still am haunted by it two years later.
EDIT: Wow. My first gold is about a home invasion experience. Thanks!
EDIT II: My shotgun is a Remington 870 12 ga. There are better home defense weapons, especially considering mine
isn't a home defense variant.(Long barrel, no pistol grip.) The best self defense weapon for you is the one you are
comfortable with. I have had that gun since I was 12, I hunt with it, I use to shoot clays competitively with it. I am
more than comfortable with it. Whatever choice you make, there is a good suggestion below by /u/Frostiken , BE
COMFORTABLE WITH WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO USE!!!!!
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[–] jakemac1
874 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)
Dude
I just had someone attempt to break into my house with a sledge hammer. If it wasnt for my shotgun and
the distinct noise it makes when a slug shell enters the chamber and slams shut he would have entered my house
and killed me and probably killed my gf. For 3 weeks I had nightmares and jumped at every sound. I cant even
imagine what id be like having to pull the trigger. How are you doing now?
edit Just so everyone knows the entire story because Im getting a lot of people that think they know what
happened and are giving me "advice"
My neighbor is a paranoid schizophrenic. He was the attacker, at about 8am on a sunday. My gf went outside to
check something in the driveway then came back in. Once she came back in she heard the screen door in our mud
room open just as she locked the door behind her that goes into said mudroom. She ran over and got me, I knew
something wasnt right. I was in a deep sleep at the time and jumped out of bed, grabbed my shotgun and went
over. I move the curtain that covers class window we have in our door (like a 9 panel grid in the center of the door)
and saw a man with a heavy coat (it was august and about 70 degrees) a sledge hammer, an small club, wearing a
ski mask and sun glasses. I asked him can I help you. He responded give me back my calculator (yelling), I yelled
back WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?. He said you went into my car and took it, give it back or i will
bash your face in. I yelled I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT GET THE FUCK OFF MY PROPERTY. This
is when shit got real
He started to move toward the door in an attempt to open it. Failed then went to try to bash
it down. I braced the door and loaded my shotgun. (this entire time the shotgun was kept bellow the window that i
was looking through) He stopped the attempt to swing at the door then left and went right back into his house
about 20 yards from mine. Cops arrived and about an hour later SWAT pulled him from his house. Current situation
now is he is still admitted to the looney bin and will go on trial upon his release.
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[–] Sean1117
560 points 5 days ago
Doing better. I know what I did was legal and in all respects right, but it still gets to ya. And yes, that sound when
you chamber a shell usually makes anyone run scared. I guess he thought he could draw and shoot faster than i
could pull the trigger.
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[–] DontEvenFeelThatBad
428 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)
(148 replies) [–] DontEvenFeelThatBad 428 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) converted by

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Using a throwaway because this was recent (8 months ago) and I don't know the full legal ramifications.

My son had just been born a few days before and I had taken some time off of work to be at home. We'd gotten some snow that I didn't bother to clear and I didn't even check the mail. Just hung around the house enjoying life as a new parent with my wife and our baby. At about 3am, my son woke up. I had just finished changing his diaper and my wife was feeding him when I heard someone pry the back door open. The police said that he probably assumed the house was empty because of the snow in the drive and a few days of mail in the box.

I loaded my handgun and waited near the top of our stairs in the dark, hoping the he would just steal the TV or something from the first floor and leave. He didn't.

When he got halfway up the stairs, I turned on the light mounted on my gun and yelled at him to leave. He must have thought that I was just holding a flashlight, because he looked right at me and climbed up two more steps. All I remember seeing was the pry bar he used to get through the door in his hand. The thought of what he might do with it to my wife and child terrified me.

I shot him twice square in the chest and I'll never forget the look on his face. It was like he was surprised at first,

then horror when he looked down and saw the bleeding. I remember taking the first shot and thinking that I missed because he just froze there. After the second was when I could clearly see the bleeding. It can't have been more than a second between the two, but it felt like forever. He tried to run away, but only got a few steps before he fell down and, I assume, went into shock. That man pleaded for help and begged me not to kill him. I remember sitting on the top step with the gun still aimed at him and just sat there shaking and watched a man bleed out halfway down my staircase. I have no idea how long he he lived. It felt like hours but my wife tells me that the police were at our house in 10 minutes. The police said that there had been several burglaries in our town recently and that I did the right thing. I grew up hunting and target shooting for fun, but never expected to shoot a person.

I kinda feel bad that I don't have any guilt about it but every time I think about that night, I instantly switch from thinking about the guy who invaded my home to being glad that my family wasn't hurt. The worst part is that now any little noise at night has its both awake. I've had an alarm installed and got a dog, but still have trouble sleeping. tl;dr: A guy broke into my house and I shot him.

EDIT:

1)Thanks for the gold. 2) I've gotten a lot of PMs about getting counseling. Thanks for the suggestions. I did attend a few sessions and received a clean bill of health. I'm not really traumatized, far as I can tell. Maybe a little over cautious, but I wouldn't want to change that.

553 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I'm a little late but whatever. When I was in 3rd grade my next door neighbor came to pick me up from school because my grandmother couldn't make it in time to pick me up. While we were heading to the car, I stepped in front of him and a strap from the back of my book bag (it was a rolling one) tripped him up and he broke his knee. He had to go to the hospital to get surgery and the doctors ended up using an anesthetic that he was allergic to and passed away. His wife very clearly told doctors not to use this certain anesthetic but they went ahead anyways. After his death she became very depressed and died a few years later due to cancer. She wouldn't leave the house and I feel like I caused both of their deaths. They were such good people and I know they really cared for me. Also his wife could've sued the doctors but she decided not to because she didn't want to ruin the doctors career. Edit: I really appreciate the comments guys. I rarely ever post but I felt like I needed to let someone know my situation, I really haven't spoken about it at all until now. Thank you :)

253 points 5 days ago

Doctors and cancers fault, not yours. You broke his knee, by a completely understandable and forgivable accident. The doctor killed him by being stubborn and careless.

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246 points 5 days ago

any doctor who carelessly kills a patient should not have a career

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3024 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

(11 replies) [–] longrifle 3024 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) converted by

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I was 18 years old and had just received my drivers license fairly recently so
I was 18 years old and had just received my drivers license fairly recently so I was looking for any excuse to drive.
So I jumped on the opportunity to run out and get cat food from the store even if it was 11pm. Where my parents
lived it was out in the country so there weren't many street lights so you relied on your head lights. I was coming
home and was doing 60 in a 55 and coming over a little hill when suddenly in front of me I see a guy standing in the
lane in all dark clothes just looking at me. I didn't have time to react and I hit him head on, he rolled off the van and
I lost control (I think because the airbag deployed or because maybe I had jerked the steering wheel) and went off
in to the woods on the left side and rolled down a hill taking out trees and everything. The van did it's job luckily and
protected me from dying but I got really banged up, cut up, and a mild concussion. I lost consciousness for a
moment amd when I came to I was at the bottom of this little hill and had to climb on all fours up the hill. I flagged
down the first car I saw and luckily they stopped and called 911. Unfortunately the guy died on scene and no one
could figure out why he was standing in the street. I was of course hysterical and felt so guilty.
It took me a long time to even want to get behind the wheel again and even longer to want to drive at night. It was
a process of fighting through it for me. I had some PTSD from the incident and would have the dream over and over
again where I would see him for the split second and would wake up terrified. It was so close to my parents house
that I had to drive by it every day and would get chills. Even going back to visit them I see the scene and get chills.
When I did finally drive at night I would be overly cautious and would sometimes see something in the road and
would freak out. 11 years later I'm over the trauma and can drive just fine but I still remember it.
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[–] lessadessa
2435 points 5 days ago
Honestly, it sounds like he was trying to commit suicide. A really shitty way to do it, by dragging someone innocent
into it. But definitely sounds like suicide to me.
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[–] longrifle
1600 points 5 days ago
That's what the police suspected and the chilling thing he said is that it happens more than people realize.
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[–] exultant_blurt
412 points 5 days ago
A young woman wearing a nightgown stepped onto the road in front of my friend one night. He was able to swerve,
but the truck behind him ended up killing her instantly. My friend stuck around until the cops came. The other driver
was understandably distraught, even though it was obviously a suicide.
I do have a lot of sympathy for people who feel the need to commit suicide, but a big part of me wishes they would
be more considerate about it.
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[–] CaptainFilmy
482 points 5 days ago
Yeah, I work news and I'm not sure if it's the same everywhere but we never will cover suicide, I've been so some
pretty horrible suicides (woman hanging from scaffolding) just in case foul play was involved but they never air. it
happens more than you hear about.
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[–] Tibyon
466 points 5 days ago
It should be the same everywhere. Data shows that highly publicized suicides can cause a chain reaction.
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[–] NunWrestling
409 points 5 days ago
If only the same thing could be done for mass shootings
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[–] MrHerpDerp
72 points 5 days ago
Just like school shootings, but that never stops it.
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[–] Baltusrol 383 points 5 days ago
Can confirm, happened to my mom about 30 years ago. She was the last of three cars to hit him so we figure he
was already gone but that doesn't change how sickening it can be to think about it
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[–] reMUA
261 points 5 days ago
This comment really opened up my eyes. When I was battling suicidal thoughts I would fantasize about just walking
in front of oncoming traffic. I know I don't want to die anymore, but it just hit me that if I had done that, then I
would have ruined someone else's life. Thank you.
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[–] PipeosaurusRex
190 points 5 days ago
Sounds like the guy committed suicide via you. That's awful.
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[–] arturo_lemus 47 points 5 days ago Hey man im really sorry about that, you
[–] arturo_lemus
47 points 5 days ago
Hey man im really sorry about that, you shouldn't feel guilty. But i have a question, did the police try to charge you?
I mean im always afraid of accidentally hitting someone and killing them and going to jail for murder even if it was an
accident? How did they prove it was truly an accident?
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[–] longrifle
64 points 5 days ago
Thank you! I was never charged but of course an officer took my statement and they had their accident scene
people investigate the crash and they were able to tell a lot from that. I think it all combined together it was just
declared an accident.
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[–] TeamOnBack
459 points 5 days ago
I ran over a possum at 18 and felt guilty about it for days.
Couldn't imagine that
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[–] NameBran
286 points 5 days ago
I'm over the trauma and can drive just fine but I still remember it.
I'm glad you're over the trauma and actually able to drive again. At just 18yrs old it takes a lot inside you to get
over something like that and not fall into depression so I have incredible respect for you. I'm currently 19 and I don't
know how I would handle a situation that you had to deal with.
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[–] ShawarmaOrigins
3684 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)
x3
My dad. He had leukemia and was in an induced coma and his organs were starting to fail and get infected and I just
couldn't see him like that. He wouldn't have wanted it. I know he didn't.
I had to sign a document where the last line literally said if the machines are turned off he will die and I accept this
responsibility. I signed it. I had to. Couldn't bear to see him suffering.
Love you dad. Miss you.
*Edit: Thank you all for your heart warming replies. Many have gone through the same situation it seems and my
heart goes out to all of you. If any of you need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message.
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[–] jrob3917
2365 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)
Same. Dad's heart could no longer take the dialysis. I decided as the eldest daughter and breadwinner that he would
have wanted me to no longer prolong his suffering and increase the expenses (we talked about it when he was still
lucid). To this day, i still sob and say i'm sorry that i wasn't able to do anything. He died last july 28
Edit: wow, i'm running errands right now and i'm teary eyed with all your messages. hugs to all and whoever gave
me the gold
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[–] kalitarios
761 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)
I had to tell the doctor to pull the plug on my mom
She had msa and had a stroke. Dad was a basket case. I made the call with him at her side.
Its amazing how fast people go cold once their heart stops.
Edit: thank you for reading my post and the gold. I still have dreams about this point in my life. The image of me
holding my father's hand while he was holding hers as they disconnected the respirator and monitoring equipment is
vividly burned into my mind. He was absolutely helpless. We stayed there for about an hour and the staff closed off
the room so we could stay.
I
was never the best son in the world, getting in trouble, etc. but I am so grateful for being by her side at the end,
if
she knew it or not. Love the ones you're with, because 10 years can go by quickly.
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[–] ShawarmaOrigins
88 points 5 days ago
It's been about 2 years almost for my dad. I remember standing by his bed and I looked at him and told him I knew
what he wanted and that I'll take care of it. He didn't want to be in that hospital.
You did what you had to do. It wasn't easy. But the status quo wasn't a better option. I know you know this and
we all grieve differently but any time I feel the way that you do, I just tell him I love him and make sure that
thought is what's filling my heart and not the others.
Hugs.
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[–] loo_loo
514 points 5 days ago
You're a good kid. I'm sorry for your loss.
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[–] BigDrunkPartyAnimal 326 points 5 days ago
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You didn't kill him. You just stopped a machine from prolonging his suffering. permalink parent
You didn't kill him. You just stopped a machine from prolonging his suffering.
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[–] _DEADnotSLEEPIN_
484 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)
Not sure if it really counts but I'll give you my story and I'll try to keep it short.
My wife was 8 months pregnant and she felt like she couldn't breathe. So we go to the hospital and her blood
pressure is through the roof. The doctors say that our baby's vitals aren't doing good and we need to do an
emergency c-section.
So as she is prepping for the surgery the doctor says we have a better chance to save the baby if we give her
medication and wait to do the surgery to give the medication time to work on the baby. The down side is that my
wife's heart function was at 20% at this point and if we postponed the surgery for any amount of time her chance
of surviving the surgery dropped.
So the doctor asked what we wanted. My wife looked at me and I could see she was terrified. So without hesitation
and tears in my eyes I said "save my wife".
This was the easiest and hardest decision of my life.
TLDR: I told the doctor to save my wife, leaving my unborn daughter with basically no chance of survival.
Edit* Thank you all for the kind words. This just the short version (I feel like I could make a one of those crappy
Hallmark movies from this, we just don't have the typical "Hallmark happy ending" yet)
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[–] jacls0608
89 points 4 days ago
I would have done the same exact thing. When my wife went in for her c section I was hysterical. I just wanted to
see her. I'd never been more scared in my entire life.
I'm sorry you never got to meet your daughter. I'm grateful you get to have your wife.
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[–] TFail342
3637 points 5 days ago
I killed my dad, indirectly. When I was 20 (25 now) me and my dad got in an argument. He was having issues with
abusing oxycontin and battled anxiety and depression. In the argument I told him "why don't you just go take some
pills, you aren't such a dick when you're on them" Well he took them
A lot more than he should have, and I didn't
know. I came home from work, went to wake him up for dinner, and he was cold and had vomit in his mouth.
You better believe I blame myself for that
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[–] viceadvice
2468 points 5 days ago
This breaks my heart. I'm so sorry.
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[–] TFail342
2133 points 5 days ago
To make it worse, my sister has straight up told me it was my fault several times, it's only when she gets pissed at
me, so I know she doesn't actually mean it, and only says it because she knows it's a soft spot for me but it still kills
me.
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[–] OD_Emperor
2615 points 5 days ago
Your sister sound mean.
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[–] meno123
1889 points 5 days ago
It sounds like a lack of self-control. Even when angry, there are clear lines you do not cross.
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[–] Mrcheez211
2163 points 5 days ago
Your father killed your father, dude.
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[–] BuggySToots
532 points 5 days ago
As someone who has a parent that is addicted to narcotic pain medication, I understand how you felt when you said
what you said to him. You did not kill your father indirectly. The choices he made killed him. We are all only
responsible for the choices we make. I'm sorry this happened to you.
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[–] JazzNeurotic
1135 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)
x3
(284 replies) [–] JazzNeurotic 1135 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) x3 converted

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This will get buried, given the number of responses already, but it'll be nice to get it off my chest regardless.

I work as a paramedic. Earlier this year my partner and I were called to a house for a lady having chest pains. We

rolled up and, as usual, he and I are joking and laughing, because that's how we are. We get inside, say Hi to the firemen already on scene and meet this very nice lady. We'll call her Sharon for our purposes, but that's not her real name due to HIPPA and all that. Sharon tells us that she's having some "burning" chest pain just below her sternum. I start asking questions as my partner started attaching the cardiac monitor and 12 lead cables to look at her heart rhythm. She tells me that she's had a previous heart attack, but that this didn't feel anything like that, and that she had a stent placed because of this, but that both those things were over a decade previous. She's about 70. Other than that, she tells me she takes no daily medications, beyond vitamins and is generally healthy. She tells me that she did take a nitro pill when the pain started, but that didn't do much, if anything, for the pain. The firemen find the bottle and tell me the meds are over a year expired and nearly full, so this isn't something she's taking a lot.

All in all, i'm thinking it's something like acid reflux or GERD, because she's told me that she was eating while this pain came on. Anyway, while we're working, her little dog keeps coming up and licking/barking at us. As were not too horribly concerned about the situation (it's our job to be the calmest people in the room), we're making small talk and petting the dog while i'm getting a set of vital signs. My partner is having trouble getting the leads to stick on her, but finally manages to get a decent tracing of her heart. Her rhythm on the monitor looks perfectly fine (Normal sinus rate between 70 and 75, for those in the know), but then he looks at the 12-lead. A 12-lead, those stickers that go over the chest and around the side, takes a closer electrical view of the heart and can tell if there's electrical disruption, which is mostly caused by dead or dying tissue from a blockage in the heart, a Miocardial Infarction or MI, also known as a heart attack. He pauses, blinks a couple times, and hands it to me. I see a major heart attack, blockage in the lower right side of her heart, with other indicators telling me that this is active right now and very very bad. I switch with my partner, telling him to get vitals, while i transmit the 12 lead to the hospital ER so the cardiologist can see it, and give them a call for treatment options.

I talk with the doctor we decide to go with the normal treatment route, ie. Aspirin and Nitro with 2 really big IV's in place and a helluva lot of diesel fuel to get her to the hospital as fast as possible. By now my partner has come back and told me that her blood pressure is 74/32, so too low for nitro to be given. So,

I have her lay down, put an IV in her, start fluid, and have the firemen go get the portable stretcher, 'cause she

isn't going to be walking. Keep in mind, we've only been there about 12 minutes at this point, by the time we're talking her to the ambulance. All told, we spent less than 15 minutes on scene. We get her to the ambulance, i thank the firemen and they turn to leave. We start heading to the hospital. I recheck her BP and find that it's now 130's over 80's, perfect for nitro, and give her one spray of nitro under her tongue. Two to three seconds later, the very nice lady Sharon has a seizure. Her heart rate tanks, dipping down to 20bpm, she quits breathing, and i find no pulses in her wrists.

My partner slams on the breaks and flags down the firemen while i grab a BVM and start breathing for her. One of the firemen takes over that while the other begins prepping a second IV line. I cut off her clothes and slap the defib patches on her chest, in case it gets worse. While i'm doing that, she grabs me hand and squeezes. She can't respond verbally, but the seizure has stopped. Her heart rate has come up to around 50, but radial pulses are still absent. I put in a second, much larger (14 gauge) iv and start filling her with fluid. My monitor is spitting out 12 lead after 12 lead, screaming at me that something has changed (no shit, mister computer), and i keep sending those to the hospital. By the time we get there, she's completely unresponsive, but breathing on her own. Radial pulses are faint but there, but her heart rate keeps falling. We scoot our asses into the ER and move her onto their bed. I tell what happened to three ER docs and two cardiologists, just as she goes into cardiac arrest. They worked her until family arrived, who decided to cease efforts.

I told my supervisor we were out of service and he understood. One of the cardiologists pulled me aside to chat,

asking to see all my 12-lead paperwork. In a complete fluke, the Nitro caused the clot to move, stunning her left ventricle when it got stuck on, ironically, the stent that had been placed 10 years earlier. He told me there was nothing i could have done. That they would have done the same thing there. That there was nothing more i could do.

But to this day, i have a ghost on my shoulder. She isn't mad, she knows i did all i could, that the cards were just stacked against her, and sometimes it really is a zebra making those hoofbeats. But there's a ghost on my shoulder. Her name is Sharon, and she had a little dog. And i killed her. Edited to add:

Forgot the second part of the question. I told my supervisor what happened and he suggested we go out of service so i could talk to the operations manager, which was terrifying. It ended up that, he wanted me to talk to him because he had something similar happen to him back in the day, and he understood the fear and self loathing and all that. We talked. It helped, a little. After my shift, about 14 hours later, i cried. I lost my shit as soon as the door to my apartment closed. I spent my next two days off in bed, feeling useless, thinking dark thoughts. And then, i had to go back to work. So, i pulled on my big-boy pants, and i went back to work. Each day it got easier to do it until, now, she is less a guilt-trip and more a reminder. A reminder that, sometimes, despite your best efforts, shit happens. It happens to everyone at any time and it's my job to react to it. It hurt. Still hurts, doubly so when i think of the dog, but it's a teaching hurt. Reminds me not to get cocky. To be cautious. And, most importantly, to Live. Because, sometimes, Shit Happens, and there ain't nothing you can do to stop it. Edit 2: I am humbled and honored by the responses. Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.

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[–] lilblackhorse 100 points 5 days ago no, you didn't. Your story has touched me
[–] lilblackhorse
100 points 5 days ago
no, you didn't. Your story has touched me more than any of the others I have read here on this thread. Ok, so I'm
crying a bit while I type this, but again, I will say you didn't kill her.
I think being a paramedic has to be a tough job, making fast and important decisions, while knowing that you aren't
a doctor, and you sure as hell aren't in a hospital. You did what you could do, and it wasn't enough to save her. She
had a bad heart, had lived a good long life, and I'm sure no one is going to be blaming you. so, you need to stop
blaming yourself too
you
did your best, embrace your ghost, maybe she's your guardian angel instead
you
looked after her and did what you could do, maybe she's taking that role now for you. Good luck JN.
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[–] CigaretteScientist
3009 points 5 days ago
x2
Yes. Late to the party.
There was this guy pushing his girlfriend around in a grocery store. I was getting some Campbell's chicken noodle
soup. The first time he did it, I didn't do anything but look away. The second time, she made a mathematical mistake
about the price of something that was easy to spot and correct
he
corrected her right after he slapped her. I kept
my eye on them as I walked to the register with my can of food.
I waited outside the convenience store for them to confront the guy. They get their cart of food, mostly really
inexpensive stuff. I follow them across the parking lot, and I see him kick her on the small of her back, sending her
to the ground.
"What the fuck are you doing?" I say.
"None of your goddamn business," he replies.
"Leave her the fuck alone."
He jabs me, breaking my nose and throwing me to the ground. I get up, and just as he's about to punch me again, I
use my can of food as a mace and hit him across the head. It stunned him, but he was about to tackle me in a
daze.
Have you ever heard a skull break? It sounds like a bat hitting a baseball type of crack. I hit him as hard as I could
from top down on the back of his head, and he just fell forward, scraping his face against the ground. I didn't know
what I did at first, but when blood started to poor from the back of his head, I knew.
The girl just started to scream at me, but I was just in shock. I just fell to a sitting position clutching my temples as
she was trying to wake him.
I was so angry. My blood must have been 99% adrenaline.
She had two unmended broken ribs, and bruises up and down her body.
That and 'self defense' kept me out of prison.
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[–] IsabelleHappy
538 points 5 days ago
How did the experience make you feel about 'getting involved' in other peoples business?
I personally think you did the right thing stepping in, even though the outcome was surely not what you wanted.
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[–] DoctorWhatMD
645 points 5 days ago
Holy fucking shit dude.
That's a crazy story, and the reaction of the girl, I mean you can't expect her to be happy by any means but you
weren't trying to kill the guy.
I'm really sorry that happened to you, really brings to light what can happen when you intervene in that kind of
situation. I honestly don't know the proper protocol if I saw that but this is making me really wonder.
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[–] dr3gs
138 points 5 days ago
I'd imagine the whole exchange was around 10 seconds. Crazy.
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[–] MaryJanePotson
95 points 5 days ago
the reaction of the girl, I mean you can't expect her to be happy by any means but you weren't trying to kill the
guy.
more than once, I, a small woman, have stood up to a man only to have his girlfriend or female friend turn on me for
it. eventually, i stopped getting involved, but on a few these occasions, the guy actually came up to me and was
inappropriate. the girls with them went off on me for defending myself
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[–] RagdollPhysEd
74 points 5 days ago
I would imagine it's a Stockholme thing, it seems absurd but it's as much a defense mechanism for them.
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[–] virak_john
3282 points 5 days ago
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Eh, sorta. I harrangued a kid to play video games and do laser tag. He
Eh, sorta.
I harrangued a kid to play video games and do laser tag. He said he didn't want to it, but I applied a fair amount of
peer pressure.
Later that night he had a seizure and died. He hadn't told me he was epileptic. I guess he was embarrassed.
No one ever blamed me. And, to be sure, he bore responsibility. But I felt horrible for years.
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[–] FlamingOctopi 1313 points 5 days ago
Damn.
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[–] _Noise
619 points 5 days ago
I'm a (generalized tonic-clonic) epileptic; I was unaware one can die from simply having a seizure. Do you have more
information (i.e. he suffocated, broke a bone)?
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[–] virak_john
220 points 5 days ago
It was unexplained, characterized as SUDEP, I think.
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[–] Mujlet
121 points 5 days ago
SUDEP is the Epileptic version of SIDS. If they can't find a reason for your death they dub it that.
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[–] Tyestor
435 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)
i'm epileptic (JME, not photosensitive) too and as far as i'm aware the seizure itself can't kill you, it's what the
seizure causes (tongue swallow, suffocation/oxygen deprivation (won't kill you but will probably leave you a
vegetable), skull crack from falling down etc
)
edit: just woke up and now i have all these upvotes for some reason. apparently im wrong about several things. oh
dear.
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[–] slingerg
1807 points 5 days ago
Iraq. If I hadn't shot him he would have thrown his grenade at my truck. It went off in his hand.
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[–] illbeyournursetoday
150 points 5 days ago
As an ICU nurse, we take patients off life support all the time. Usually they are put on massive amounts of pain and
sedation meds. Without the meds people gasp like fish out of Water, sometimes for hours. I'm sure I've morphined
patients too much, but it's better than them feeling like they are suffocating to death. In my line of work, helping
someone pass comfortably and with dignity is as satisfying as saving a life.
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[–] discgolfn1
190 points 5 days ago
I'm pretty late to this, but I've never really talked to anyone about this. I used to live in L.A. in a pretty bad area.
Anyway, I was jumped coming home from my girlfriend's house and this guy pulled a gun out and was threatening to
kill me. I was frozen from the fear of the sight and he tried to bash me in the head with the butt-end of the pistol
but I grabbed his arm and punched him in the face. He let go of the gun I assume because I hit him in the nose and
broke it, but this next part is what scares me. I had the gun and I saw him and I pointed it at him and pulled the
trigger. The cops said it was self-defense so I wasn't charged for anything. I was 17 at the time and it's been 10
years now, but I haven't felt any regret from it
I wasn't even phased by it when it happened. I don't know if it
was because I was used to people in my life dying or I'm just a little off in my head, but the fact it didn't affect me
has always scared me a little.
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[–] pxmatt
272 points 5 days ago
Not sure if I'm too late to this or not. I'll try to be brief. I hadn't been able to really talk about this much until
recently. I took another persons life purposefully when I was 17 in self defense. My parents had left me home for a
week for the first time while they left for vacation. One night some one wrecked their car down the street and you
could hear sirens. Next thing I knew I heard the sound of someone trying to break in to our backdoor. Growing up
around guns I went and grabbed one of my dads shotguns and just waited hoping and praying to person would go
away. They didn't they kicked in the backdoor and I could visibly see a pistol in their hands. I fired twice first shot
hit dead center mass second shot hit dead center of the neck. Guy died almost instantly.
Come to fins out he had just robbed a couple the next town over at gun point and was on the run.
I knew it was to protect my own life and I know I'd probably be dead otherwise but taking another's life is not
something that is easy to live with and I don't wish it upon anyone.
TL;DR; I shot an armed robber who broke into house when I was 17 and killed him.
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load more comments (30 replies) [–] easybro1 762 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5
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[–] easybro1
762 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)
Just over 2 years ago now I was involved in a car crash were a cyclist died. I was the driver of the car. I was
driving home from college, It was a beautiful day and the sun was low in the sky, I was blinded for a few seconds
and hit the cyclist. The road is national speed limit (60mph) and i was doing 30mph. I drove the road every single
day of my life and to this day i still don't know what I could have done differently. Never has anything affected me
so much. I've thought about it every single day since and probably will for the rest of my life. I was 18 at the time,
i'm now nearly 21. I had months and months of counselling, failed my first year of university and was in a place i
would not wish upon my worst enemy. I endured a year long struggle of court appearances and finally was
sentenced to 300 hours community service and a 2 year driving ban. I am shaking writing this now. My head was all
over the place for 18 months afterwards. There were no witnesses and the image of getting out of my car and
seeing a lifeless body on the floor will stay with me forever. The blind panic of calling for an ambulance and flagging
down passers by. It's not as bad as it was but I whenever i would be alone for example in the shower it was all i
would think about. I feel like i've come away from the experience a hell of a lot wiser. I've learnt so much from it but
i just wish i had waited a few minutes longer before i drove home, there are so many variables that to this day i go
through in my head. It gave me an insight into how the police treat people - being a middle class white teenager
who has never been in trouble with the police before, i would think before i ever helped the police out. I have never
been spoken to or dealt with in that way. I voluntarily went to the station to speak with the police on there request
and ended up being locked in a cell for 9 hours. During the court appearances, the family members of the cyclist
shouted and cursed at me as I walked into court, that was one of the worst things i've ever been confronted me,
feeling so helpless and just wanting to apologies and for everything to be ok. I know it would not bring their loved
one back but I just wanted them to understand. Feel free to ask any questions.
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[–] Wgibbsw 117 points 5 days ago
Mate that's awful. Out of morbid curiosity what actually happened did he pull out while you were blinded or was he
hugging the curb so you didn't notice etc? Feel free to completely ignore as it's none of my business and a horrible
thing to bring up again. It's one of those things where, especially when driving, the lives of everyone else are
literally in your hands and things just happen.
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[–] easybro1
131 points 5 days ago
The road is a long and the bends are long and drawn out. I had gone round a sharper bend and was completely
blinded - Imagine a towel being thrown on the windscreen. I washed my windows to try and clear the window of any
dirt (i was an inexperienced driver and didnt know that only makes it worse) As the windscreen wipers went back
down, thats when the impact was. The police report said that the cyclist was positioned correctly in the road at the
point of impact and I had tailed off towards the pavement. I just never saw him. I emergency braked on impact and
was positioned in the middle of the road. No one really knows what happened fully. It's all a massive blur in my head
and there were no witnesses.
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[–] Sanzau
99 points 5 days ago
Woke up to someone that broke into my house in South Africa, made sure it wasn't my girlfriend, grabbed my .44
mag, and shot him 3 times, 2 in the chest and 1 in the face
Called the cops, told them what happened, turns out
he was a serial killer/rapist
Glad I'm out of there now
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[–] EbolaGay
970 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)
comments (22 replies) [–] EbolaGay 970 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) converted

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I had been in prison for about a year when I filed a grievance on
I had been in prison for about a year when I filed a grievance on the guards for some dirty shit they pulled. They
responded by transferring me to a rough unit, trying to get me to PC and lose all my privileges. I was a gentle
person, young, slender, white, gay acting.
Most people in my prison didn't care about people being gay at all, buy one big nasty white guy kept harassing me.
He cat called me even before I moved over to his unit and the first couple of days after I moved over he started
yelling insults at me as we came back in the unit from chow.
All I wanted to do was talk trash back to him, but I didn't grow up talking rough. I yelled something like, "Shut up
George, you ain't nothing but a punk bitch anyway." Or something like that. I yelled it in front of all his friends and
they said, "AWWWW" like a bunch of kids in high school. Prison is like high school.
George came to fight me that night. He just knocked on my cell door and said that he had no choice, since I had
called him out like that. I was scared to death, but there was nothing I could do to avoid a beating. Dude was really
big, but also kind of old and out of shape.
I did okay at first, dodging him, trying to run around on the tier in front of my cell, trying to get him winded, but he
caught me and drug me into my cell and threw me on the floor. He got on top of me and started punching me in the
face with one hand and holding my throat with his other hand. The punches didn't really hurt, but I couldn't breathe.
Somehow I bucked him off and slammed his head into the metal bunk. I squirmed out from under him and ran out. He
didn't follow. I tried to catch my breath and cautiously looked back in the cell. He was laying on the floor, writhing
around. When I came in closer I saw his eyes were open, but he was just looking at the wall, slack jawed. I figured I
had knocked him out and I was happy.
Then he had a seizure. He flopped around violently and froth started coming out of his mouth. There were people
standing around, but no one knew what to do. I ran down and asked for an emergency medical response. Some
screws and nurses came and took him downstairs on a stretcher. An ambulance came, lights and sirens blazing on
the way in, but quiet on the way out.
It was pretty obvious what had happened. He had red swollen knuckles and I had a fat lip and black eye. I was put
in the hole for a month, but investigations found me not guilty and the state didn't press charges or even come talk
to me.
I'd like to say that people respected me more after that, but no they didn't. I got beat up a couple more times
before I got in with a clique. People respected the fact that I had taken a beating and not told on the person. Prison
is a weird society. Never filed a grievance again.
RIP George. You were a big dumbass, but you didn't deserve to die like that.
EDIT: I was in for a probation violation. My original charge was vandalism, then I got violated for driving without a
license, shoplifting and some dirty pee tests. Don't judge me, I had issues. Doing better now.
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[–] marilynpink
411 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)
I accidentally killed my 13 year old brother when I was 8 years old. My step grandfather left a gun(very small; toy
sized) in the backseat of my uncles car. On the way to dinner with the family I found it and accidentally shot my
brother. This was one year after my father was fatally killed in a car accident. My father died the night before my
brother and sisters 12th birthday.
Edit: Thank you so much for the gold and all of the nice comments. I really appreciate it. This has made my day.
Thank you all! :)
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[–] Jamison321
68 points 5 days ago
Jesus. Of all of the comments here this one is the one that got to me. I can't imagine what that's like.
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[–] marilynpink
72 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)
It has been impossibly hard. Years filled of therapy, hospitalizations, drugs (prescription and otherwise) , terrible
relationships, depression, anxieties
the
list goes on. It has left a chemical imbalance that will never be corrected. It
is what it is. My life was fucked from the get go. But, it goes on
that's
the life lesson. Don't give up, there is more
to you then your past. You can be and create anything.
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[–] jmul321
46 points 5 days ago
When I was in school, about 12 yr old or so, I was on the wrestling team. We were sparring and I was with a friend I
had known since the beginning of school. I took him down and he landed flat on his back and we had to stop as he
lost his breathe. Later in practice he collapsed and was rushed to the hospital as his heart condition made his heart
practically fail. He died before he could get a transplant.
I know I shouldn't blame myself since he had a bad heart since birth, but knowing I'm the one who started it stuck
with me for a long while
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[–] Malex-117
3203 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)
x5
(5 replies) [–] Malex-117 3203 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) x5 converted

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I most likely killed several people while I served in the United States Army (2003-2012).
I most likely killed several people while I served in the United States Army (2003-2012). I say most likely, because
it's not like I stopped to check for a pulse. That being said it's nothing like you see in most movies. There was no
gut wrenching guilt or righteous sense of victory. In a lot of ways it's anti-climatic, especially with a gun. A twitch
of the finger and it's done. I thinks, at least in war, the most traumatizing part is the lack of overwhelming emotion.
Every thing you have ever been told tell you you should feel something significant, like the first time you feel in love.
When those emotions don't come, it can make you feel like there is something wrong with you. I do regret that I had
to pull the trigger, but that's has more to do with the widows and orphans I might have created. I also know if I
hadn't pulled the trigger first, they would have. Doesn't really make it right or wrong.
Edit: thanks for both of the golds.
Edit: thanks for some more gold.
Edit: thanks for the fourth gold.
Edit: thanks for the fifth gold.
Edit: thanks for all the response. I would also like to thank, /u/Khayas , /u/suninabox, and /u/imrealhungry for their
dissenting comments. I think it's brave of you to stand up for your beliefs even when they aren't popular. Sorry you
got down voted into oblivion.
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[–] kezza596
673 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)
My uncle served a few years. He won't talk about it, but I do know he was once gun to gun with the enemy. My
uncle is still with us.
When I was younger I asked him to clarify if that was true. I'll never forget the glass eyed look that passed over
him, even temporarily. He told me he won't talk about his feelings on it because there weren't any.
I didn't get it then, but I sure do now.
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[–] Malex-117
222 points 5 days ago
I don't always talk about it, and I'm selective of who I talk about it with. My niece is old enough now to ask
questions about my time I'm the Army but I won't talk to her about it. I know she's not an angel, but I would still like
to keep her clean of those ugly truths.
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[–] elfearsrbig
880 points 5 days ago
That was a really interesting way of describing that, thanks for sharing.
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[–] anickles
4348 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)
x4
I was bouncing in a bar once, a guy slapped his girlfriend, as I was throwing him out he pulled a revolver and started
firing into the bar. He hit his girlfriend, and two other bystanders before I pulled my pistol and killed him. I don't
regret the decision, although, after reviewing the video, he was out of bullets before I fired my first shot. I had no
way of knowing that, but it kinda messed with me a little.
Every time someone says "I saved lives" that night I cringe. I know that I killed someone I could've detained.
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[–] neo_nomad
2734 points 5 days ago
Hindsight is 20/20 but not always realistic. In the moment you can't weigh the pro's and cons. Dude had already
asaulted somone then began firing a weapon. You neutralized the threat. If you decide to count rounds what if he
had one more and it ended up killing you.
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[–] phydeaux70
1351 points 5 days ago
I wish that people would use this reasoning all of the time, and not when it is convenient.
Too much emphasis in the USA on the reaction of others and not the action that caused the problem to begin with.
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[–] t0mpee
1613 points 5 days ago
He made the choice to pull a gun. It's not your fault bro.
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[–] Tchrspest
1632 points 5 days ago
Never ever pull a gun unless you intend to kill.
Stupid bastard pulled the gun, he intended to kill. OP did the right thing.
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[–] pleap
357 points 5 days ago
Perfect way to look at it. When it comes to guns you just don't mess around.
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[–] esserstein
1162 points 5 days ago
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I killed someone I could've detained. Only if you were psychic permalink parent load more
I killed someone I could've detained.
Only if you were psychic
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[–] llBoonell 668 points 5 days ago
It's okay, mate. You were in a gunfight, there was little chance of you thinking clearly; how were you supposed to
keep track of his shots, even with a revolver?
The words of a stranger don't mean much over the internet, but for what it's worth, we're all here for you and we
don't think you did wrong.
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[–] anickles
455 points 5 days ago
I don't think I did wrong either. He was obviously not a very admiral person. he was actually a drug dealer, and
obviously abusive to his SO.
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[–] F_E_M_A
3835 points 5 days ago
I know that I killed someone I could've detained.
he was out of bullets before I fired my first shot. I had no way of knowing that.
You made the correct decision, because you didn't know he was out of bullets.
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[–] NSA-RAPID-RESPONSE
2311 points 5 days ago
This is true. OP was just acting out in the defense of others which is what he should have done. Had he tried to
detain him he could have died. OP just gave an example on what to do in that situation.
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[–] NameBran
418 points 5 days ago
Exactly, OP was thinking about other people's lives and safety when he pulled out his gun. For all he knew that guy
could have had more bullets in the gun, another weapon on him, or who knows.
He made the best decision he could have made in that position. It was probably not a easy choice to make and a
terrible situation overall but he did what was right.
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[–] quarknugget
1275 points 5 days ago
This. Decisions are good or bad based on the information you have at the time. Not based on whether the best
possible results happened to occur.
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[–] senatorskeletor
404 points 5 days ago
I literally can't even conceive of counting shots in a high-pressure situation like that.
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[–] brittonberkan
246 points 5 days ago
How about the girl and the bystander? Did they survive?
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[–] anickles
649 points 5 days ago
yeah, he was the only death.
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[–] JungleLegs
66 points 5 days ago
You saved this girl from most likely a terrible future.
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[–] brittonberkan
286 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)
Good news :-) and don't feel bad about this, whoever's mindlessly shooting around in a bar full of innocent people is
someone we can definitely live without. Just glad these two survived.
Edit: three survivors, apparently
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[–] loveableterror
457 points 5 days ago
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Its a terrible feeling that you constantly hope you never get used to. I was
Its a terrible feeling that you constantly hope you never get used to. I was corpsman with the USMC and did two
tours, discharged my weapon twice in Afghanistan with one time being a definite hit. I have moved forward but its a
hard pill to swallow knowing you took a life, no matter how likely you were to die in the situation.
Edit: and as always, my experience is different from others so, yeah, just my feelings on it
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[–] SoldadoInfanteria
3620 points 5 days ago
x4
So my inglish is not so good but my cousin said I need to put this here so here I am.
I was a solder in the army of Mexico. I joined the army when I was 18 back in 2007. I did not go to college to get a
diploma, I thought instead I will go to join the army and protect my country from the drug cartels and the rebels and
terrorist. The first time I killed another human was in 2007, around the end of the year. My group was set to raid a
house which was thought to have a cache of wepons, money, and also use to store cocain that was meant to be
sent to the USA. The raid happened at 3:00 am. The house was 2 stories tall, we breached through multiple places,
I dont think they expected us because they had guns but they did not respond to fast to us when we hit them. The
guy I killed was no more than 15 years old
that
meses with my head still, I killed a child. The last kill I recall before
I left, he was my friend, but he was a traitor. He was telling the cartels when we were coming, he was telling them
what we know about them, he was doing it because they paid him. What he did made it so a lot of my friends and
comrades died
we
found out, our job was to arrest him, I put a bullet in his head. We wrote in the report that he
had shot at us, and that we had no choice but to shoot back. For reals though, we went to his house in regular
clothes, we took beer. When he opened the door he was all smiles and told us to come in, we did
head I will never regret it
I shot him in the
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[–] dcgh96
2261 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)
When he opened the door he was all smiles and told us to come in, we did
Holy shit.
Edit: I think this is the only comment that got this much karma.
I shot him in the head
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[–] BatarangBangarang
877 points 5 days ago
This was my exact same reaction. This guy needs to write a book about all this because it's incredibly intriguing.
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[–] Spidertech500
1072 points 5 days ago
wow
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[–] mysecondchanceinlife
704 points 5 days ago
Holy shit
this is some Infernal Affairs/ The Departed mad shit dude
What happened afterwards? What were your other police officer friends thinking when it happened?
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[–] SoldadoInfanteria
1168 points 5 days ago
I was not police, I was army. He was one of us, we were sent to get him. We can not trust the police at the time
anyway.
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[–] mysecondchanceinlife
369 points 5 days ago
Wow
are drug cartels influential in the Mexican Army? This is some really heavy duty stuff, holy shit!
How did you guys find out he betrayed you guys?
My mind is so blown
This is so similar to one of those movies O_o
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[–] SoldadoInfanteria
692 points 5 days ago
because he fucked up, we caught one of his messages where he told them we would be in such town, at such time,
with such many men, with such type of hardware. this was a few hours after we got those orders
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[–] fauxrabbit
107 points 5 days ago
im late so its ok if you don't answer.
how many lives do you think your friend put in danger?
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[–] SoldadoInfanteria
502 points 5 days ago
the lives of every soldier in the military, and the lives of every Mexican citizen. I blame him for the death of
18 of my friends, all died in an ambush thanks to him being a rat for the narcos.
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[–] OrganicRedditor
291 points 5 days ago
Thanks for being brave enough to go to the army and fight cartels. Thanks for fighting and doing the right
thing. Sorry your friend turned out to be a rat. Good luck in your life.
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[–] MEXICAN_Verified
77 points 5 days ago
Gracias por tu servicio hermano.
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77 points 5 days ago Gracias por tu servicio hermano. permalink parent converted by Web2PDFConvert.com

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[–] sergio1394
235 points 5 days ago
Todavia vives en Mexico?
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[–] SoldadoInfanteria
681 points 5 days ago
No, ya no. Pinche puto pais no es nada mas que una mancha de mierda en este mundo. Tantos amigos muertos, y
nada cambio.
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[–] UnsexMeHarder
62 points 5 days ago
So do you think Mexico will ever change?
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[–] SoldadoInfanteria
119 points 5 days ago
no
I
do not know.
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[–] throwmeawaywhydoncha
649 points 5 days ago
Not exactly what you're asking for but, here's my story.
When I was about 9 I was walking along a road with forest on either side on my way back from school. I never took
the route my parents showed me because I liked walking by the forest. It was one of those roads that has really
transient traffic, it's 20 cars a minute, then it's basically vacant. This was one of the latter times.
I don't remember what possessed me to cross then, I've analysed the memory so many times that it's just nonsense
now but, I stepped off the grass onto the shoulder and started to cross when I heard the motorcycle approaching.
Time didn't slow down, I'm pretty sure it sped up. All I remember is seeing the bike coming straight for me and then a
screech and the next thing I know the bike is in the ditch and the rider is in the middle of the road quite a ways
ahead.
He wasn't wearing a helmet.
I tried to run home through the forest, I didn't even check to see if he was okay I just ran because I was afraid I
would go to jail.
I got home really late from getting lost and really cut up from the trees. If I could have thought of a lie I probably
would have never admitted it happened.
I think the worst part was one of the cops who was apparently at the scene. He said "It's okay. You're safe, I bet
he didn't regret a thing."
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[–] WoWDisciplinePriest
661 points 5 days ago
Life is full of random instances. You were not a snot nose kid who jumped in front of a motorcyclist just to see if you
could make him crash. You just crossed the road at a random time, devoid of any malintent. I ride a motorcycle. We
know we could die. No one who is uncomfortable with the idea of death has a place on a bike. I carry life insurance
at 23 for just this very reason. I don't know if it helps or hurts, but if I was the one on that bike I would have gone
down feeling at peace. Neither me nor my family would have blamed you, and I would have been damn happy you
were alive.
There are two types of riders. Those who have gone down and those that will.
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[–] MrEvilChipmonk0
o
192 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)
(55 replies) [–] MrEvilChipmonk0 o 192 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) converted

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Well this is probably going to get burried by now but I feel like I need to rant a little. So sorry. Yes, in Afghanistan I shot 11 insurgents hiding in a tree line. I didn't know how many of them were in there, if any. I assumed I didn't hit anyone. It wasn't until later in the day that they found 11 bodies there. At first I didn't, feel anything. Just told myself "it was my job", "it was either them or me", "I was just following orders", "these are the same bastards that have killed your friends". It wasn't till much later that it started to haunt me. It put my whole life and everything I've ever learned into perspective. In my eyes they were no longer just "terrorist/insurgent/bad guys", they were sons, brothers, fathers. People! Just like me. They had dreams and families. Now after growing up watching the war on tv for 12 years, the same war that I would ultimately fight in, I had come to believe that the insurgents were fighting us because they hated America and wanted to threaten our way of life. "But what if there was an other reason that all those Afghan men and boys were shooting at me from that tree line?" What if, they were just defending their land? The same way I would fight tooth and nail if the United States was ever occupied. The realization that those 11 Afghans were just like me, CRUSHED me. Thankfully, I had a few friends that I secretly confided in and talked me through it (one friend jack in particular who was going through the same thing only his number of lives taken was 3 times mine). It had to be secret because I was in an enviroment where killing "the bad guys" was important. I was practically worshiped by some of my peers and people I was in charge of. I know I can't take back what I've done, and I now know that life is short and violent. Because of this, I no longer take life for granted. I've learned to love life and enjoy every moment. My girlfriend calls me weird because I'll randomly stop and stare at the mountains, or the sky, just basking in its beauty. I don't expect her to understand, nor do I know how to explain it to her. I never want to be involved in hurting anyone ever again, I treat conflict like the plague now, and try to help everyone when I can. I know it doesn't make up for what I've done, but it helps me get a little sleep at night. End rant. TL:DR shot 11 Afghans, was an emotional wreck for a while, overcame it and now try to be the best person I can be. Fuck war.

45 points 5 days ago

When I was in high school I caught someone trying to steal my sister's bike. After chasing after him, I brought him down with a broadside tackle. It stopped his heart. He had ingested a bunch of random drugs while running from me because he was on parole and didn't want to get busted with it. Dude died as a result of trying to steal a $30 WalMart bike.

284 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

My partner of several years was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and he was given "a few months to live." It was devastating for both of us. At one point, he lost over 80 pounds in about seven weeks. He stabilized for a short while, and he was able to take care of himself, though myself and a stream of friends were regularly stopping by to check in and bring him food or medicine that he needed. Then he took a turn for the worse. Dementia started to kick in. He was having difficulty eating. His pain was substantially increasing to the point that any increase to the Dilaudid drip he was receiving would be toxic. He was suffering. One evening he looked at me with the clearest eyes I've seen on him since before he was sick and said, "will you help me end this?" I knew what he meant since it came up in conversation before, but I brushed it off as nonsense.

So I went to his medicine cabinet, found his various pills for anxiety and the sleep aids, and combined them into one bottle. It was well over 50 combined pills. Then I placed it on his nightstand. "Are you use you want to do this?" "Yes," he said confidently. Then he picked them up, and started swallowing all of them with his big bottle of water. It wasn't long before he started drifting off to unconsciousness. We had one last short conversation. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel dizzy and light, but it's kinda nice

"Goodbye. I love you." He mouthed "I love you too" but no audible sound came from his mouth. Then his eyes closed.

What we thought would happen is that he would fall asleep then eventually his body's systems would slow down and stop. What I didn't expect was to see him in a coma for two and a half days after taking the pills. Then on a Wednesday at 5 PM, I was holding his hands, his yellow eyes opened and he looked directly at me, and took his last breath. I've never been the same since. Edit: removed extraneous last line.

Edit2: DAMMIT

retrieve it? I really don't want to rewrite this -- it was too damn emotional the first time.

Edit3: RECOVERED! Thank you a TON to /u/emiteal!

"

and he started drifting off.

went to remove the last line and ended up deleting my entire post. Anyone know how to possibly

load more comments (25 replies) [+] [–] AtomicHM 895 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

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My aunt was involved in a car crash that killed someone in the other car. She told me that it completely changes your life, what most people think to be a small task is now a nightmare for her. She says she is rarely able to drive alone without having a panic attack, and she needs to sit in the front seat of any car, or else she would have a panic attack. To summarize what happened; her and two of her friends just turned onto her cities highway about 5 years ago late at night (around 12 pm), shortly after she got her license. She didn't tell me exactly what, but she claims she was arguing about something, and got really into what they were talking about. She must have gotten to into the conversation, because she didn't realize that someone was trying to merge into the highway off of an on-ramp. Eventually, she noticed and she braked harder than she should have to let the person in. The person behind her hit her car, going about 60-70 km an hour. Somehow, her and all her friends survived (She was driving a 1999 Volkswagen Jetta). But the driver in the car behind her died instantly. She told me she was scared forever from this and It was almost impossible for her to sleep for about 4 months after the accident. The victims' family didn't place charges against her, and the police decided she wasn't at fault. Please, please, please be careful while driving, one lapse of judgement while driving could ruin your life.

35 points 5 days ago

This shit gets to me all the time

brothers barged into my house trying to drag me to the bar with them. I'm 24 along with my brothers our mom is 41. (We're all close) I'm sick so I jokingly kick them out my house . My mom's tells me my step dad stole her wallet because he thinks she needs to go home. I gave them a $100 telling them to go have fun with out me. My boyfriend tells me I'm an idiot for giving them money that there gonna get hurt. I LIVE in a small town 10 minutes later I get a call from a friend driving behind my mom saying they got into an accident . I rushed to the scene, I drove so fast I got there before the cops. There was barely any of the Ford explorer left. Window was smashed out my brother was laying on the ground 10 ft from the scene cover in blood. My mother who was driving died on the scene I saw her forehead touching her chest. My other brother was stuck with his head in between the seats looking at our mom's dead body the roof was crashed on his back he was screAming and didn't even notice me there. They had to use the jaws of life to cut him out. They were life stared off the seen. FORTUNATELY, My 2 brothers survived the one on the ground broke his neck in four place , his arm, fingers and nose. My other brother fracture his neck, back and broke his nose. They were less than a mile away from mom's house if I didn't give them money they would have just went home. I dream about the accident! I know a 100% I killed my mom. My brother that was stuck looking at mom is pretty fucked up too. He was a marine that watched half his friend die in Afghanistan just to come home to see more death.

Edit: I'm really bad at grammar

Last November I was in bed sleeping with bronchitis, when my mom and two

33 points 5 days ago

My mom. She told me plenty of times she wanted to die at home and I made sure that happened. She got sick from her Huntington's disease last summer, and she told me "Keep me home." We did. She passed away peacefully the next morning. She didn't have long to live anyway because of her disease. Love you mom. Hope you're doing okay up there.

36 points 5 days ago

This subject made me want to register and comment for the first time. During my summer break when I was 16, I would always drive over to my grandparents house and mow the lawn for

them. My grandma couldn't leave her wheelchair and my grandpa was unable to do physical work by himself, so after

I would mow his lawn I would always help him with anything else. I loved helping him as he would always make me

feel special and comfort me with any problems I had. Well one day I got a call from my grandpa around noon asking me if I was free to mow his lawn and help him move some boxes from his basment to his garage. I had nothing planned that day, however a new video game came out that I had just bought earlier that day, so I said I would be over later. My parents were gone for the day working, so they were not around to remind me and I lost track of time playing this game. I remember looking up and seeing that it was around 5, and I thought to myself, "well I will just help my grandpa out tomorrow."

I went over to a friends house and about an hour later I recieved a phone call from my crying sister. My grandpa had

tried to bring a heavy box up from his basement and at the top of the stairs, he lost his balance and fell down the stairs. He went braindead immediately.

I cried for about a month straight, and almost ten years later it still hurts everytime I think about it. I remember the first time we came over to my grandma's house and at the bottom of the stairs was a discolored stain on the rug, and I wanted to break down every time I saw it. I couldn't imagine what I put my grandma through. All she could do was sit in her wheelchair screaming for my grandpa as she called 911. My life changed dramatically after that event. I became a lot more mature, and I treat everyday special and I try to talk to everyone in my family daily. You never know how precious life is and how suddenly something can happen until it does. Even though multiple people told me it was not my fault that my grandpa died, I still blame myself. The only thing I have ever regretted in my life.

555 points 5 days ago

Was on murder jury, found him guilty and voted for death penalty. Sitting 20 feet away from someone, looked them, their mothers and their families in the eyes then told them that he was going to die. They're still on death row even though that was almost 20 years ago.

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[–] IsItMeyoure_looking4 31 points 5 days ago Was walking home one night with my friend
[–] IsItMeyoure_looking4
31 points 5 days ago
Was walking home one night with my friend from a party in "the hood" and noticed screams coming from around the
corner. Both being Angry drunks we decided to get in on the action, we had just calculated that a girl had just
received a massive hiding and was about to get raped. We ran over to aid her to find a guy threatening this poor
female with an old style commando knife. selflessly I lunged at him and with all my weight (which is only about 69Kg)
landed one right on his jaw. the fellow dropped like a sack of potatoes and the the back of his head on the curb. he
later died that night of an Extradural hemorrhage. The court judgement ruled that it was in the self defence of a
third party. however, i was intoxicated and they believed that the strike was not within reasonable force and i
could've taken other measures to prevent it from happening. I was sentenced to 400 hours community service and
ordered to pay a reparation to his family of $5,000 since he was the sole income. I'll never be the same person i was
before that incident happened. The moments before it all happened, a moment of sobriety washed over me and I
wandered if i wanted that to happen to my daughter. It happened so fast and if i were asked if I could take it all
back, I would probably say 'No'.
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[–] BILL_MURRAYS_COCK
564 points 5 days ago
I stabbed my father in the back around 7 times with a fishing knife.
He was strangling my mom on the floor, and it looked like she was really gonna die that time, so I took action.
She died anyways a few years later anyways when I turned 9.
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[–] AquilaGlobumAncora
42 points 5 days ago
That time
shit dude
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[–] Sporkeldee
114 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)
Depends on the context,
Afghanistan from Nov 11 - Jul 12. I was an Aviation Ordnanceman on a platform Called the Harvest HAWK. it's a C-
130 refueler that is retrofitted with 14 (at the time) guided missiles. Since it's a C130, it has nigh-unlimited fuel
capacity compared to a fighter, which means it can stay in the air for 12 hours a day. it lands, we fixed it at night,
it went out the next morning. which means calling in an air strike is reduced to ~ 5 minutes.
In our Maintenance area, we had a whiteboard with a number of confirmed kills, and kills that day. When I rotated
out, the number was over 200.
While I never seen the bodies of the men whose lives i've helped to take, it's a strange feeling to know when you
see an aircraft come back with it's weapons expended that the missiles you loaded the night before took human
lives.
EDIT: Holy hell, my first gold! Kind of strange it came from something so dark.
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[–] Hotwheelz23
2050 points 5 days ago
I have one that really sticks with me even though it was justified. I was in a big firefight in Afghanistan and was
taking cover behind a small building. Across the field there were 2 guys in an alley with AKs. I shot a grenade from
my 203 and it landed a few feet in front t of them and messed them up pretty bad. They were laying there bleeding
out and I just looked to my friend, laughed and said 'double kill!' With a high five. The killing them doesn't stick but
the fact that I was so giddy and happy about taking someones life is what sticks.
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[–] googly
moogly
915 points 5 days ago
I guess it's because you just killed people that were trying to kill you. That's plenty of reason to express some relief
in a happy way. I'm just speculating, I have no experience doing that.
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[–] dbcooper2012
119 points 5 days ago
It has a lot to do with amount of adrenaline combined with the relief one feels when their attacker is no longer a
threat and the most immediate way one handles the adrenaline remaining is usually celebration. It's almost
involuntary.
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[–] Topher_Lee
86 points 5 days ago
I did not directly kill him, but I fired someone who committed suicide that night. He was a great guy, a hard worker,
and had one of the biggest hearts of anyone I knew. However, his work had been in a steady decline for a few
months. He had stopped being reliable about showing up for work, and on the day in question I gave him a tough
love kinda speech about how he needs to get his life in order. I never would have pegged him as being suicidal, and
was harsher in my final words with him than I should have been. After he killed himself, I found out that he had had
conversations with several of our employees where he admitted to having contemplated suicide. Had I known that, I
never would have fired him so coldly and would have instead tried whatever I could have to make sure he got the
help he needed. I think about him any time I get frustrated with one of my employees who's work ethic suddenly
declines, and will always pull those employees aside to ask them how their life. I just wish I would have done that
with him as well
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load more comments (11 replies) [–] Combatmed101 717 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5
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[–] Combatmed101
717 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)
Army Combat Medic. Afghanistan Vet.
I was many firefights over the course of the deployment but most of time we were at range.
One day though, a dude from another village ratted out his neighbor. The dudes neighbor and his 2 sons had a
weapon cache under his house for fighters to use when they crossed the border from Pakistan. So we went up one
evening to bust his ass and get it taken care of. Well we went up and the terp and PL are shakin this dude down
while we check the house. My TL spots a small door that gotta be our basement/storage area we are looking for. So
we try and nonchalantly head over and the dude sees us and flips. Starts yelling and carrying on and immediately
the terp tackles him. No clue what he said but right after his kid busts out the door we were about to stack on,
weapon in hand. I was the first one to open up since our TL had turned away to see what the fuck was going on. In
my mind now it seems just like a really fast blur, I'm not even sure how I moved that fast. First round hit him in the
mandible area and the other 2 hit him in the neck.
At the time I felt nothing. We just stepped on and over him and into the room he came from. We did our jobs,
wrapped up our one live prisoner and bagged the dead one. We searched for a bit for the other son but never found
him. Suppose he's either in Pakistan or leading some jihad elsewhere now.
Now when I think on it I get the strangest mix of emotions. I feel rushed and exillerated just thinking back on it but I
also feel a little ashamed for feeling that. When I think about the way he looked after words I find myself sick to my
stomachs though. Idk why I see gore day in and day out working in EMS and it never bothers me. There's no regret
there, I've searched myself long and hard for it. That guy would have killed my guys had I not shot him and I doubt
he was the first one I'd killed although he was the first one I confirmed. I'm not really sure how to end this post
since there isn't much else to it.
Edit: GOLD. THIS IS A DAY I HAVE DREAMED OF. I can die a happy man now.
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[–] Lisybug
467 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)
I'm a nurse. Sometimes with palliative care patients close to the end of their life's there is a lot of pain. Making the
choice to give someone a drug such as morphine so they die peacefully with no pain quickly or not giving it and they
die in a lot of pain maybe a few hours later is hard. I know they are dieing anyway and it's better then letting them
suffer, but still weird to think my actions might have finished some ones life.
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[–] starciv14
445 points 5 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)
ICU nurse here. I sincerely hope you give pain medication if you see any physical signs of pain irrespective of vital
signs. Withholding pain medicine in end of life care when someone needs it is a travesty. You have the ability to help
create a beautiful death for the patient and family, and please do not throw that chance away. That family will
remember how the patient looked at the end of their life forever.
edit: I understand some of you are uncomfortable with my rhetorical use of "beautiful death". I can only suggest you
watch a few hundred people die screaming in pain to fully understand my context. A pain free, kind death is a
beautiful thing to watch, and a gift to families when death is imminent and understood. Obviously, this kind of thing
only happens on hospice/comfort care patients when the only goal of health care is comfort and eliminating pain.
Patients or their legal representatives choose this.
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[–] Lynoctis
152 points 5 days ago
To you and /u/Lisybug: thank you for what you do. It takes a very special person to be able to handle palliative
patients. The hospice nurses who took care of my mother (who was also a nurse) for the last month or so of her
life, before she died in June, were my guardian angels at the end. They didn't sugar coat anything, but they were
caring, considerate and helped counsel us through our grief. They took excellent care of my mother and made sure
she was comfortable at all times. It was like having two good friends who had all of the answers we were seeking. I
don't know what I would have done without them.
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[–] troway1232
1046 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)
Yes. Saw a guy robbing another man at an ATM with a pistol. Ran across the street just as he turned to run off, he
saw me and pulled his gun back up. I fired 3 times. He shot once, but missed, the police later said it was probably
just a reaction by his body to getting shot.
I don't really feel bad about it, I probably should, but I don't. There was no way he could have seen that I had a
gun in my hand, so he was willing to just gun me down.
Edit: I should add since I didn't answer the second part of OP's question. Terror, that's what it felt like, absolute
terror. That feeling only lasted for a couple of seconds, but for those seconds I was as afraid as I have ever been in
my life. Afterwards, I checked to make sure I didn't get hit, made sure the shot he fired didn't hit anyone (there was
no one to hit, and it struck a brick wall, no pass through). Then I called the police. Me and the man who was robbed
sat in silence as the sirens grew closer, I said at most 10 words to him the whole time.
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[–] jesusworesandals
3698 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)
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Eh, sorta. I was the one that turned off the respirator when my grandmother was
Eh, sorta.
I was the one that turned off the respirator when my grandmother was comatose.
No one else could, and while it was the most difficult thing to do in my life, I knew it was the best for her. She
wasn't going to wake up, and all of us were just prolonging her suffering after she clearly stated no drastic measures
to save her.
I spent a couple hours in the room with her, afterwards, just talking to her like she was still alive. telling her the
things I was planning on doing in my life that I wished she could see me do.
I don't think I want to post on reddit anymore today.
Edit: Before some of the sympathy messages/posts, wanted to point out this was 10 years ago. I was 16, I'm 26
now. Lot of time to come to terms with it.
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[–] James_Rustler_
718 points 5 days ago
So the whole family had made the decision to turn off the respirator?
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[–] jesusworesandals
1092 points 5 days ago
Yes, but no one could do it. None of us wanted the guilt.
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[–] CAKE_OR_DEATH_
905 points 5 days ago
A doctor couldn't do it? I'm not trying to be insensitive I'm just wondering why it came down to you having to be the
one
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[–] jesusworesandals
708 points 5 days ago
It was at home. We had a nurse attending her, that was it. I think it was called hospis or something? It was thought
that she would just last a week, but after 3 weeks as a family we talked about it, and how we knew she didn't want
to stay on support.
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[–] SoldKeyboard4Porn
475 points 5 days ago
I was kind of upset at first that you were left to do this yourself at just 16, but then I realized your other family
members were either going to be in the same boat as you (your siblings) or even closer to your grandmother
(your parents). Good for you for being strong and I'm sure it's helped you grow as a person from a young age.
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[–] jesusworesandals
485 points 5 days ago
I was pretty close to her. She was my primary babysitter growing up, and taught me how to cook, clean
properly, and sew my own clothes/repair clothes.
Everyone else was in the room, it wasn't a case of, "Lets push you into the room to deal with it alone". My
mom and aunt had their hands on my shoulders, but they just couldn't go through with being the one to turn
it off. My grandfather refused to be in the room. He wanted to remember her as she was, not what she
wasted away to be.
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[–] jimbojangles1987
107 points 5 days ago
This makes me really miss my grandparents.
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[–] femsexaddict
44 points 5 days ago
internet ehug
My grandfather was in a similar position. We were in a hospital though. He took care of me was my father
figure (my dad has three children but tells everyone he has two) and did everything with me. He was my
world.
When I was 14 the whole family decided it was best to stop his suffering. He wasn't waking up and we all
knew he'd never wake up again. The doctor said they'd pull the plug and then let us know. I asked if I
could be in the room with him when they did it. When I was a little girl I always told myself that I would
be the last person to say I love you to him, so I stood by his bed holding his hand saying I love you over
and over again.
It was hard enough being in the room, let alone being the one to pull it. I have an insane amount of
respect for you.
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[–] Dogon11
176 points 5 days ago
Hospice care is the term.
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[–] senatorskeletor
236 points 5 days ago
My mom's DNR specifically says I have to pull the plug. Thanks, mom!
In truth, though, it's either me or my sister and my sister wouldn't be able to. So she's right. Still
thanks mom!
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2205 points 5 days ago

Holy shit you were 16?! I'm currently 16 myself and I've never had to encounter such a serious situation. I don't even know what it would feel like. You have all my condolences, mate.

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