Anti Diet Approach

1he Ant|-D|et Approach
to
We|ght Loss
and
We|ght Contro|

5cott kelJ Abel

www.scoLLabel.com
ScoLL Abel Coachlng lnc.
2

1ab|e of Contents
ChapLer 1: CuLllnlng Lhe lnlLlal roblems and lssues of 1he uleL-MenLallLy .................................3
ChapLer 2: Lles and 8amlflcaLlons of Lhe uleL-MenLallLy.............................................................19
ChapLer 3: Confuslng Cause wlLh LffecL under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe uleL-MenLallLy ..................29
ChapLer 4: CuLllnlng Lhe Self-CompasslonaLe Mlnd....................................................................38
ChapLer 3: 1he 8eallLles of ?our LmoLlonal ConnecLlon wlLh LaLlng and Lhe rocess of leedlng
?ourself.........................................................................................................................................30
ChapLer 6: MeLabollc And Cerebral 8eallLles of LaLlng and uleL - Why uleLs lall ......................34
ChapLer 7: llnally LeLLlng Co of 1he uleL MenLallLy ....................................................................70
ChapLer 8: Self-AccepLance as Lhe rocess Lo Lhe Self-CompasslonaLe Mlnd.............................80
ChapLer 9: ueveloplng a 8elevanL and 8eal" uleL-SLraLegy.......................................................98
ChapLer 10: llnal 1houghLs, SuggesLlons and 1lps ....................................................................114
ALnulx: 8elaLed ScoLL Abel ArLlcles ......................................................................................122
1he uogma of lear ln uleL and nuLrlLlon SLudy and racLlce.....................................................123
sychlc 8ebelllon and 1he uleL MenLallLy"...............................................................................126
8egardlng Cravlngs .....................................................................................................................130
1rlgger loods and AlLernaLlve Moods ........................................................................................130
sychosomaLlc nuLrlLlon: arL 1.................................................................................................133
sychosomaLlc nuLrlLlon arL 2..................................................................................................139
More Consequences of Lhe uleL-MenLallLy" CvL8SLnSl1lZA1lCn...........................................143
1he uleL MenLallLy and ulsordered LaLlng arL 1.......................................................................147
1he uleL-MenLallLy and ulsordered LaLlng and llLness arL 2 ...................................................131
1he uleL-MenLallLy and ulsordered LaLlng and llLness arL 3 ...................................................136
Ladles - LeL's 1alk - ComforL loods and AlLerlng Moods -.........................................................161
Cr Pow Lo Lead ?ou noL lnLo 1empLaLlon and uellver ?ou from ?our Cwn Lvll" ....................161
SuggesLed 8eadlngs....................................................................................................................166

www.scoLLabel.com
3

Chapter 1
Cut||n|ng the In|t|a| rob|ems and Issues of 1he D|et-Menta||ty

1here are hundreds and even Lhousands of ways Lhe dleL-menLallLy can lnfllLraLe your sLaLe of
mlnd. 8uL Lhere are Lwo prevalllng lnroads by whlch Lhls usually happens. And Lhey go LogeLher.
1hese Lwo lnfluences are body-consclousness and markeLlng. 1he dleL-lndusLry ls blg buslness.
Check LhaL - Lhe dleL-lndusLry ls PuCL buslness, generaLlng bllllons and bllllons of dollars every
year. And [usL llke an lndusLry bullL on consumpLlon - markeLlng ls lLs base. 1he lnfluence of
markeLlng of Lhe dleL-lndusLry ls all around you. lL ls hard noL Lo be lnfluenced by lL - wheLher
consclously or unconsclously. Cnly Lrue awareness wlll help you fllLer Lhe lnLense markeLlng
machlne of Lhe dleL-lndusLry and allow you Lo see lL for whaL lL ls. And one of Lhe cenLral ways
Lhe dleL lndusLry proflLs ls by connecLlng lLself Lo body-consclousness. 1he subllmlnal message
of Lhe dleL-lndusLry ls LhaL you should care (lnLensely) abouL your welghL. MosL people are
prone Lo a cerLaln level of body-consclousness anyway. lL ls a blologlcal and culLural lmperaLlve.
WhaL Lhe dleL-lndusLry does ls spln Lhls and magnlfy and exaggeraLe Lhe emphasls of body-
consclousness and puL lL on sLerolds. 1he goal of Lhe dleL-lndusLry ls one of message.
lL's abouL geLLlng you Lo buy lnLo a speclflc message and belleve LhaL message and lnLernallze
LhaL message. And Lhe message of Lhe dleL-lndusLry ls LhaL a leaner and llghLer you ls a beLLer
you. 1he message of Lhe dleL-lndusLry ls LhaL you can'L posslbly be splrlLually and personally
fulfllled unless you are leaner and llghLer. And once you buy lnLo LhaL message Lhen you cross a
llne where body-lmage becomes forever enmeshed wlLh self-lmage - buL noL ln a consLrucLlve
way, buL ln a desLrucLlve one. And from here, lnLernallzlng Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls buL a formallLy
and only a maLLer of Llme. And Lhls ls Lhe message of Lhe dleL-lndusLry and Lhls ls Lhe process of
Lhe dleL-menLallLy and how lL Lakes over. ->
8ecause aren'L you aware, as Lhe lmpllcaLlon goes - LhaL lf you [usL sLarL dleLlng now, Lhen your
own personal and splrlLual fulflllmenL are [usL so many pounds away? And conversely, Lhe
reverse ls Lrue wlLhouL even needlng Lo be menLloned - wlLhln Lhls message ls anoLher more
lnsldlous message. lf a llghLer and leaner you ls a beLLer you - Lhen lf you are currenLly
overwelghL, and you keep geLLlng pounded wlLh Lhls message - Lhen of course you are led Lo
belleve LhaL you are noL 'good enough' Lhe way you are rlghL now. And from here Lhe personal
angsL beglns. ?ou sLarL scruLlnlzlng your exLernal self [usL a llLLle more, here and Lhere, and Lhen
a llLLle more sLlll. And lL's all unconsclous. And Lhen aL some polnL you buy lnLo Lhe message
LhaL maybe you aren'L as happy as you should be - and lL's all because of your welghL. ?ou sLarL

www.scoLLabel.com
4

Lo confuse Lhe noLlon LhaL Laklng care of your body means Laklng care of lLs exLernal
appearance, even Lhose Lwo are noL Lhe same Lhlng. 8uL lL ls Lhe noLlon noneLheless LhaL you
somehow lnLernallze LhaL you wlll be emoLlonally beLLer and splrlLually more conLenL 10, 20, or
30 lbs. from now. lL's Lhe lnLernallzaLlon of Lhe message LhaL of all Lhree realms of Lhe Lrlangle
of awareness - physlcal, menLal, and emoLlon - LhaL lf you [usL conLrol Lhe 'appearance' of Lhe
physlcal realm, regardless of lLs reallLy - Lhen Lhls wlll enhance your menLal and emoLlonal
realms. Well Lhlnk abouL LhaL message for a mlnuLe. 8ecause Lhls myLh LhaL achlevlng a llghLer
and leaner you means a happler more conLenLed you ls acLually backwards. 8uL lL doesn'L
maLLer. lL doesn'L maLLer LhaL Lhe LruLh ls LhaL a happler and more conLenLed you ls by
deflnlLlon a llghLer" you. And a splrlLually llghLer you ls whaL leads Lo LhaL belng reflecLed ln
Lhe physlcal world of a cosmeLlcally llghLer you. 8uL Lhe noLlon of Lhe leaner body = a happler
person Lakes on Lhe aura of facL. 8uL lf you examlne Lhls deeper, you wlll reallze LhaL ln 'facL' ->
Lhls ls Lhe exacL lle LhaL makes you mlserable and wanLlng. ?ou sLop accepLlng yourself and sLop
connecLlng Lhe Lhree realms of Lhe Lrlangle of awareness wlLhln you. And you fall Lo reallze Lhls
mlsLaken noLlon of a llghLer you ls a happler you, lsn'L maklng you any happler aL all. And Lhe
facL you have become even more welghL-consclous and body-consclous lsn'L freelng your splrlL
and llghLenlng lL and llfLlng you up, ls lL? lL's lmprlsonlng your splrlL and welghlng lL down - and
welghlng you down as well - emoLlonally and menLally - and more Lhan llkely physlcally as well.
...
?ou become emoLlonally vulnerable Lo Lhe dleL-lndusLry mandaLe and Lhe dleL-menLallLy ln
general. So you also become vulnerable Lo lLs markeLlng meLhods as well. And year afLer year
Lhls same lrony plays lLself ouL for mllllons of you. ?ou fall Lo reallze Lhe fundamenLal LruLh
whlch ls LhaL lnevlLable fallure ls whaL drlves and susLalns Lhe dleL-lndusLry. 1hey don'L wanL
you Lo masLer welghL-conLrol, because lf you do, Lhey've losL a cusLomer. 8uL you can'L see lL.
?ou can'L see LhaL Lhe menLallLy lnvolved ls [usL all wrong and dlscombobulaLed. 1he focus on
food ls also all wrong. 8uL you Lhlnk Lhere musL be maglc ln LhaL focus. And LhaL becomes parL
of your dleL-menLallLy as well. So you make yourself emoLlonally vulnerable Lo Lhe markeLlng
message. And lL's Lhe same klnd of markeLlng LhaL ls used across many dlfferenL lndusLrles, only
you become bllnd Lo how lL's manlpulaLlng you speclflcally.
So you become vulnerable Lo Lhe usual markeLlng culprlLs. - 1) relylng on uneducaLed personal
experlence reporLed by someone else -> whaL ls Lermed as 'ooecJotol evlJeoce.' And Lhls ls
especlally problemaLlc for you as a consumer, and lL once agalnsL puLs you ln Lhe compare and
conLrasL mode of compeLlLlon" when lL comes Lo welghL loss. 2) ?ou become more and more
suscepLlble Lo your own personal wlsh-blas -> whaL ls Lermed as 'bope ovet totlooollty'. lL's akln
Lo Lhe baLLered wlfe syndrome where you keep Lelllng yourself lLs love, so you keep golng back

www.scoLLabel.com
S

Lo an unhealLhy and dlsempowerlng clrcumsLance because you are more emoLlonally lnvesLed
ln Lhe fanLasy of 'hope' Lhan you are raLlonally lnvesLed ln Lhe reallLy of 'reason.' l call Lhls Lhe
'baLLered dleLer' syndrome. 3) ?our hope over raLlonallLy blas leads you Lo an unreallsLlc
'opLlmlsm blas' -> and you used polnLs 1 and 2, and creaLe a false hyped-up moLlvaLlon of tbls
tlme lts qoloq to wotk" Lype of Lhlnklng. 4) And flnally as a resulL of Lhls opLlmlsm blas you
experlence over and over agaln whaL we call Lhe 'booeymooo petloJ.' ?ou sLlck Lo Lhlngs
rellglously aL flrsL, and ln dolng so, you see exLernal reflecLlons of success" so you Lell yourself
lL's all worklng and flnally Lhls" ls Lhe rlghL dleL you've needed. 8uL Lhe honeymoon phase
never lasLs, does lL?
1hese are all [usL some examples of petceptloos of 'whaL works' LhaL are fllLered Lhrough a
Lhlck, sLeamy fog of reporL resulLs. 1hese so-called reporLed resulLs are composed of personal
deslres, values, hopes, blases, exposure Lo markeLlng hype, and/or menLal and emoLlonal pre-
dlsposlLlons Loward supersLlLlon and unrellable promlse. - 1he promlse of Lhe 'baLLered-dleLer'
syndrome. All of Lhe above become Lhlngs markeLers use Lo markeL Lo you dreams ln Lhe gulse
of promlses. 1hese Lhlngs become LwlsLed and Lhls ls why someone can swear Lo you LhaL some
dleL or supplemenL Lruly works" - when ob[ecLlve and rlgorous sclenLlflc sLudy proves ln facL,
LhaL lL doesn'L. And [usL llke Lhe baLLered-wlfe syndrome - ln Lhe baLLered-dleLer syndrome, you
belleve lL, because you wanL Lo belleve lL. And Lhese lndusLrles, of dleL, supplemenLs, welghL-
conLrol and Lhe resL of lL are proflLed by your own wllllngness Lo pay for and prop up your own
false-percepLlons. 1he quesLlon becomes - When you are golng Lo geL Llred of lL?
And lf Lhe dleL-lndusLry dld have Lhe answers for welghL-loss and welghL conLrol Lhen how could
Lhey sLlll be ln buslness? 1hlnk abouL lL. 1he lndusLry generaLes bllllons of dollars of proflL and
revenue each year. 1hey do so by selllng answers. 8uL lf Lhey had Lhe answers, Lhen wouldn'L
Lhese answers [usL be copled and pasLed and handed ouL and Lhe lndusLry lLself 'dlssolved?'
8ecause Lhlnk abouL lL - lf Lhe lndusLry had Lhe answers, and all you had Lo do was buy Lhese
answers, Lhen how could Lhe problem of welghL-conLrol sLlll exlsL - leL alone sLlll generaLe
bllllons of dollars each and every year. - Pope over raLlonallLy lndeed. 1he lndusLry creaLes Lhe
deslre ln you by markeLlng Lo you LhaL a beLLer you ls only pounds away - and Lhen Lhey sell
back Lo you, whaL Lhey sLole from you Lo belng wlLh. And we'll be dlscusslng whaL LhaL ls
LhroughouL Lhls pro[ecL.
...
And yeL aL semlnars and workshops LhaL l do, so many people say Lhey can see rlghL Lhrough
Lhe dleL-lndusLry message and Lhey don'L buy lnLo lL. 8uL your acLlons suggesL LhaL you do. And
so does Lhe research. And whlle Lhe welghL-loss and dleL-lndusLry rake ln bllllons per year Lhey

www.scoLLabel.com
6

also spend mllllons per year on adverLlslng. Why? - 8ecause lL works. ?ou are affecLed by lL
wheLher you reallze lL or noL. So Lhe lndusLrles of body-consclousness presenL you wlLh a
message LhaL your physlcal appearance and your welghL are Lhe keys Lo your auLhenLlc" self-
esLeem. And you need Lo conslder Lhls message and Lhlnk more deeply abouL lL as well.
1he quesLlon you really need Lo ponder ls one of acLuallLy - and a quesLlon of whaL ls real and
Lrue personal growLh? WhaL are Lhe componenLs of real and Lrue self-confldence and self-
esLeem? Are Lhese really ouLslde-ln Lhlngs you reflecL ouL Lo Lhe world? uo you really Lhlnk your
soul ls only golng Lo feel as good as your body looks? - Cr as lndlcaLed on Lhe baLhroom scale?
uo you honesLly Lhlnk LhaL your personal feellngs of salvaLlon and dellverance lle wlLh-Lhln? Cr
ls Lhe lle of deslred Lhlnness whaL keeps you from Lhese very Lhlngs? ?ou need Lo address how
many ways you Lhlnk and acL LhaL demonsLraLe you acLually belleve Lhls ouLslde-ln message of
wellness. And Lhen you need Lo also address ln how many ways you Lhlnk and acL LhaL prove
Lhe exacL opposlLe. ?ou need Lo ask yourself lf you Lruly embrace, asslmllaLe, and lnLernallze
LhaL Lrue salvaLlon lles wlLhln - and noL wlLh-Lhln. So lL all becomes a quesLlon you need Lo pose
Lo yourself abouL how real you are abouL belng real.
uo you Lhlnk and acL ln a way LhaL relnforces subsLance over form? - 8ecause lf you do, Lhen
Lhe lle of Lhe dleL-menLallLy message can'L ever geL Lo you or affecL you. And lf you Lruly Lhlnk
and acL ln ways LhaL nurLure who you are over how you look Lhen you are exerclslng Lhe
dlfference beLween Lhe dleL-menLallLy and Lhe self-compasslon mlndseL. And Lhe dlfference ls
Lhe hearL of whaL Lhls pro[ecL ls all abouL. Some of you Lhlnk" you geL lL. 8uL how you Lhlnk and
feel abouL your dleL and your welghL and your body prove LhaL whlle you may undersLand" lL -
you are noL llvlng lL. And LhaL ls because Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls sLlll ln conLrol. 1here are no yeah
buLs" Lo Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlndseL LhaL frees you from Lhe prlson and resLralnLs of Lhe
dleL menLallLy.
And research shows as well LhaL many of you llve Lhe lle of Lhe dleL-menLallLy message whlle aL
Lhe same Llme clalmlng lL has no effecL on you. ?ou are acLually under lLs lnfluence buL aL Lhe
same Llme you llve ln denlal of LhaL lnfluence. 1he real LruLh, backed up by research ls LhaL
many, lf noL mosL, of your food cholces and food hablLs have llLLle Lo do wlLh nuLrlLlon" - even
Lhough you lle Lo yourself LhaL Lhey do. 1hese cholces really have more Lo do wlLh emoLlonal,
menLal, and physlcal facLors LhaL you merely equaLe" Lo wellness. And mosL of Lhese Lhlngs are
markeLed Lo you for you Lo belleve ln Lhem. 1hlngs llke probloLlcs or Creek ?ogurL are [usL Lhe
vogue hlpsLer healLh emphasls of Lhe day. And llke all vogue Lrends Lhey come and go. 8eal
wellness hablLs would Lranscend belng Lold whaL Lo eaL. 8uL aL Lhe Lop of Lhe llsL for why you
choose Lo eaL Lhe foods you do - Lhe vanlLy lnsanlLy of welghL-conLrol over dleL-healLh and well-
belng ls Lhe prlmary focus of your food cholces.

www.scoLLabel.com
7

lor lnsLance, a 2007 AusLralla sLudy showed LhaL Lhe deslre Lo lmprove cosmeLlc appearance"
was 1PL mosL lnfluenLlal and drlvlng force for food purchases among 18-30 years old women.
And Lhls force ranked way hlgh above oLher llsLed lLems llke blood pressure beneflLs", healLh
beneflLs" and lower cholesLerol." So Lhe LruLh, backed up by research, ls LhaL you Lalk a loL
abouL wellness and balance buL when lL comes Lo belng Lruly honesL abouL whaL forces acLually
shape your dleL cholces - lL ls almosL always a cosmeLlc and exLernal ldeal reference. And Lhe
lrony here ls also one of Lhe general lronles of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. 1hls demographlc menLloned
ln Lhe sLudy above - women aged 18-33 - ls also Lhe demographlc who reporL Lhe mosL
dlgesLlve-relaLed compllcaLlons and lssues as well - Lhlngs llke bloaLlng, consLlpaLlon, l8S,
gluLen lnLolerance eLc. All Lhese Lhlngs are lnLerconnecLed wlLhln Lhe dleL-menLallLy mlndseL of
cosmeLlc focus and Lhe pressure all of LhaL klnd of Lhlnklng produces wlLhln you. 8ecause Lhe
LruLh ls Lhe dlgesLlve Lrack ls one of Lhe key lndlcaLors and measurlng sLlcks for sLress. ?ou don'L
have food lssues causlng dlgesLlve lssues - you have Lhlnklng lssues and sLress abouL food - LhaL
are causlng dlgesLlve lssues. And only a reallzaLlon of Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd ls golng Lo
reduce any or all of Lhese psychosomaLlc sympLoms.
?ou slmply have Lo reallze LhaL food ls meanL Lo susLaln and supporL you. lL ls also meanL for
your lndulgenL en[oymenL and good healLh and well-belng vla your lndulgenL en[oymenL. lood
was never meanL Lo be vaulLed Lo a level of lmporLance where lL could be personlfled and
consLrued as belng your enemy, your evll demon, your lover, your frlend, or whaLever oLher
surrogaLe or subsLlLuLe you use lL for.
...
1he Stress Iactor of the D|et-Menta||ty
1he dleL-menLallLy and lLs requlslLe emoLlonal connecLlon Lo fear, worry, and anxleLy keeps you
buylng lnLo a dogma of maLLer over mlnd -> Lhls false llluslon LhaL food can creaLe fear. 1he
dleL-menLallLy helghLens and exclLes your emoLlonal focus when Lhe real soluLlon should be ln
calmlng your emoLlonal focus. So, Lhe resulL of Lhls dleL-menLallLy ls an emoLlonal conLradlcLlon.
?ou are noL worklng and ownlng how you eaL - buL lnsLead, whaL you eaL ls worklng on and
ownlng you. no sane person wlll wanL Lo llve LhaL way for long ln connecLlon Lo food. And whlle
you are lndeed meanL Lo be connecLed Lo food - Lhls ls supposed Lo be a poslLlve and calmlng
connecLlon of a blologlcal requlremenL for survlval. lL ls never meanL Lo be an lnLlmldaLlng or
sLressful connecLlon.
?ou are all Lold and you all undersLand LhaL a good dleL ls a powerful weapon agalnsL dlsease
and lllness. 8uL LhaL ls Lhe physlcal and blologlcal realm of healLhy" lnfluence. Powever, under
Lhe lnfluence of Lhe dleL-menLallLy Lhere ls anoLher reallLy for you Lo conslder. lf LhaL good and

www.scoLLabel.com
8

healLhy" dleL ls accompanled by a mlndseL of fear, paranola, and obsesslon - exacLly Lhe klnds
of Lhlngs Lhe dleL-menLallLy engenders ln you -Lhen Lhese 'healLh beneflLs' of eaLlng rlghL are
losL Lo a form of sLress LhaL underllnes Lhe dleL lLself. We all know LhaL sLress ls Lhe number one
cause of lll-healLh and dlsease ln Lhe modern world of abundance and convenlence. And yeL,
very few people, because of your own percepLual blas - very few of you are able and wllllng Lo
acknowledge your own dleL-menLallLy" as one of your consLanL and prevalllng modes of sLress.
1hls cannoL 'work' long-Lerm, alLhough as a real form of sLress, lL can cerLalnly be avolded. 8uL
ln facL, lf you Lhlnk abouL lL, you wlll undersLand LhaL one of Lhe maln reasons you cheaL on or
saboLage your dleL ls as a form of subconsclous emoLlonal proLesL agalnsL your dleL-menLallLy
sLress - and you 'cheaL' Lo seek momenLary release and rellef from lL. ln shorL lL ls [usL
unnaLural Lo be sLressed over a blologlcal survlval demand. And yeL, Lhls ls exacLly whaL Lhe
dleL-menLallLy lnlLlaLes ln you.
And research ls showlng Lhls Lo be Lrue. We are sLarLlng Lo see and prove ln research LhaL sLress
can be [usL as harmful Lo your welghL as lL ls Lo your hearL - and whaL a paradox Lhls ls for Lhose
who are sLressed abouL Lrylng Lo lose welghL - buL who don'L reallze LhaL sLresslng over Lhe
lssue, can lLself cause welghL-galn. 8esearch ls provlng LhaL sLressors and emoLlon-focused
coplng are Lwo co-facLors found Lo be assoclaLed wlLh low self-esLeem. And low self-esLeem ln
Lurn, ls sLrongly assoclaLed wlLh dlsLurbed eaLlng aLLlLudes. As we see agaln, Lhls has noLhlng Lo
do wlLh nuLrlLlonal knowledge." SLressors are dlrecLly relaLed Lo dlsLurbed eaLlng aLLlLudes
(lryer, 1997) regardless of knowledge of nuLrlLlon or healLh.
...
ln essence, all Lhls carb phobla, macro/raLlo focus and Lhe resL of whaL goes on wlLh Lhls noLlon
of dleL preclslon - Lhese become emoLlonal sLressors ln and of Lhemselves - and as such Lhey
produce dlsordered eaLlng paLLerns and welghL problems. 1he devll Lruly ls ln Lhe deLalls, when
lL comes Lo Lhe pressures of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. So, Lhe dleL-soluLlon ofLen ls lLself Lhe source of
Lhe problem! 1hese flndlngs have been reproduced over and over. (lor lnsLance see Lhe sLudles
ln my book 8eyond Metabo||sm).
1he polnL here ls LhaL chronlc sLress, even sLress over dleL and welghL conLrol can lead Lo
food/eaLlng and/or welghL-conLrol lssues. So, ls Lhe soluLlon Lo Lhls dllemma anoLher new dleL
Lhen, Lo sLress over and fuss abouL? lsn'L Lhe deflnlLlon of lnsanlLy dolng Lhe same Lhlngs over
and over and expecLlng a dlfferenL resulL? Cr could lL be LhaL Lhe soluLlon ls Lo replace dleL-
lnduced sLress wlLh a self-compasslonaLe mlndseL - and wlLhln LhaL, rellnqulsh Lhe acLual and
Lrue causaLlve facLor -> Lhe dleL-menLallLy - whlch ls Lhe source of sLress lLself - or aL leasL Lhe
percepLlons surroundlng lL are Lhe source of sLress. And doesn'L Lhe welghL-loss sysLems

www.scoLLabel.com
9

lndusLry focus on Lhese very Lhlngs? - creaLlng more and more sLress abouL how you eaL and
how you look and Lherefore more sLress abouL how you feel abouL how you eaL and how you
look.
As we've already dlscussed, under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe dleL-menLallLy you are LaughL Lo fear faL
or fear carbs - someLlmes boLh. 8uL Lhls 'fear of faL' or 'fear of carbs' presenLs an evenLual
paradox LhaL ls now well-documenLed. lL unfolds llke Lhls -> you Lry Lo deprlve yourself of even
healLhy foods of whlchever macro food group you are Lold Lo fear Lhe mosL. lor example, lf you
are led Lo belleve carbs are bad Lhen you fear Lhem, and you Lry Lo cuL ouL poLaLoes, yams, rlce,
whaLever. 1hese become your 'fear foods' and lL can geL qulLe rldlculous. eople who buy lnLo
Lhe noLlon of hlgh vs. low glycemlc carbs are Lold Lo cuL ouL carroLs for example, so carroLs - a
compleLely healLhy and useful food becomes a 'fear food.'
8uL when you do Lhls, a sorL of counLer-effecL happens ln your mlnd, and Lhls ls well-
documenLed as l sald. LvenLually, even Lhe foods you are allowed Lo eaL" become boLh less
appeallng and less fllllng. 1hls ls Lhe law of less and less." Less food cholces lncreases Lhe
appeLlLe for oLher foods and Lhe awareness for wanLlng oLher foods. And less food lnLake, of
course, also lncreases acLual physlcal hunger. ?ou end up usually falllng lnLo Lhls cycle -> AL flrsL
you sLarL eaLlng more of Lhe allowable" foods Lhlnklng you wlll be saLlsfled. 8uL Lhls denles you
Lhe emoLlonal componenL of Lhe feedlng experlence. (SomeLhlng we wlll be dlscusslng ln greaL
deLall ln a laLer secLlon.) 1hen you end up eaLlng even Lhe foods you were supposed Lo deny,
Lhe ones you have lnLernallzed as bad" - and ln so dolng you end up feellng bad abouL
yourself." And ln Lhe end, lnsLead of helplng you Lo lose welghL, Lhls dleL-menLallLy mandaLe Lo
fear" a whole macro food group llke carbs - acLually causes you Lo galn welghL - because of
boLh psychlc and physlologlcal rebelllon agalnsL Lhls klnd of menLal and emoLlonal 'self-
deprlvaLlon by fear.' And Lhls ls called Lhe fear of faL phobla paradox" LhaL leads Lo welghL
galn. And many of you are all Loo famlllar wlLh Lhls cycle.
8uL Lhere ls someLhlng even more lnsldlous golng on beneaLh Lhe surface when Lhe dleL-
menLallLy dlcLaLes Lo you LhaL Lhere are good and bad" foods. ?ou sLarL [udglng yourself as
good or bad" based upon your compllance Lo Lhls level of Lhlnklng. ?ou sLarL confuslng real
feellngs for false-percepLlons. lor lnsLance how many of you have ever used Lhe sLaLemenL, l
feel faL?" Pave you ever examlned Lhe surroundlng envlronmenL LhaL cues you Lo use such a
sLaLemenL? Pas lL ever occurred Lo you LhaL Lhe sLaLemenL, l feel faL" ls reflecLlve of you
adapLlng Lhe dleL-menLallLy? 8ecause, lf you Lhlnk abouL lL - Lhe sLaLemenL, l feel faL" ls
paLenLly absurd and noL posslble. laL" ls noL a feellng, ls lL? ln Lhls conLexL, lf faL" ls noL a
feellng - Lhen whaL ls lL? Well, lL's a [udgmenL lsn'L lL? And Lherefore whaL does Lhe sLaLemenL l
feel faL" really mean? Well lf you remove Lhe dleL-menLallLy LhaL obscures whaL you are really

www.scoLLabel.com
10

saylng - you flnd whaL you are really saylng ls l feel bad" - or worse and more lmporLanLly - l
feel bad abouL myself." And Lhls senLlmenL ls almosL always a resulL of Lhe dleL-menLallLy and
your sense of fallure and [udglng yourself from wlLhln lLs lnfluence.
Cver Lhe years l have had dozens, lf noL hundreds of cllenLs, who reporLed 'feellng' greaL and
dolng greaL wlLh Lhelr eaLlng reglmen and workouL program. 1hen Lhey geL on Lhe scale - and
suddenly all Lhose good feellngs" evaporaLe. Why? - noLhlng else has changed? Cnly now,
Lhey have a number Lo [udge Lhemselves by and Lhe number ls never good enough. 1hls ls
reflecLlve of Lhe dleL-menLallLy conLrolllng Lhe mlnd. 1hese cllenLs feel" good unLll Lhey welgh
Lhemselves. 1hen for weeks afLerwards Lhey suddenly feel" faL. 1he scale llLerally changed
Lhelr mlnds." 1hls ls Lhe dleL-menLallLy and how lL lnfluences self-[udgmenL and self-
recrlmlnaLlon, and moves you away from self-compasslon.
8uL as lf Lhls sLress over dleL and food lssues were noL enough, Lhe dleL-menLallLy exerLs greaLer
conLrol over who you are by connecLlng Lhese sLressors wlLh an emphasls on body-
consclousness as well. And someLlmes lL may be subLle, and oLher Llmes lL may be subsLanLlal -
buL noneLheless, Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls lnLlmaLely connecLed wlLh sLresslng" body-
consclousness as well - usually reflecLed wlLh an emphasls on Lhe welghL scale. And Lhls over-
emphasls on body-consclousness can also negaLlvely lmpacL eaLlng behavlors and food lssues.
And lL lmpacLs Lhese Lhlngs emoLlonally, well beyond anyLhlng LhaL a dleL" ls llkely Lo solve -
even Lhough your dleL-menLallLy Lrles Lo convlnce you LhaL a dleL" ls Lhe cure all for Lhe
problems LhaL lL lLself, has seL ln moLlon. 8uL ln Lerms of body-consclousness along wlLh Lhe
dleL-menLallLy, Lhls ls llke a one-Lwo knockouL punch of crushlng your self-awareness and self-
compasslon. ?ou lose your lnner self-connecLlon and sLarL focuslng and Lhlnklng LhaL whaL
maLLers are exLernal reflecLlons - Lhe mlrror, Lhe welghL scale, your dress slze - Lhese all
become ways and means - noL Lo 'Lhlnk' abouL yourself, buL Lo [udge yourself. And beLween Lhe
dleL-consclousness sLress of Lhe dleL-menLallLy, and lLs componenL body-consclousness
emphasls and sLress, Lhls can add up Lo sLress levels LhaL compare Lo Lhe deaLh of a loved one
or a losL relaLlonshlp.
As ur. Sandra Sassoroll puL lL: lo femole loJlvlJools sttess coo btloq oot ptevloosly obseot
ossoclotloos betweeo some psycboloqlcol pteJlsposloq foctots fot eotloq JlsotJets. ooJ oo
octool Jeslte ot ploo to lose welqbt. 5ocb floJloqs soqqest tbot sttess moy stlmolote bebovlots
teloteJ to eotloq JlsotJets lo o pte-JlsposeJ petsooollty. (2005)" - ln oLher words, body-
consclous sLress can lnduce eaLlng dlsorders or dlsordered eaLlng where Lhese Lhlngs never
exlsLed before. Cnce agaln, percelvlng your own body as an exLernal aLLachmenL Lo sLress abouL
can only be rellnqulshed by resLorlng Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd. And alLhough ur. Sassoroll
was gender speclflc ln Lhe quoLe above, l see Lhe same Lhlng ln regards Lo male cllenLs as well.

www.scoLLabel.com
11

So, Lhe polnL ls LhaL sLresslng" over dleL and body-consclousness 8C1P or Ll1PL8 can lead Lo
sLress lssues of anxleLy, depresslon, angsL eLc. 8uL more lmporLanLly Lhese Lhlngs can also lead
Lo food lssues, eaLlng lssues, and welghL-conLrol lssues.
So Lhe obvlous lrony and paradox becomes one of polnLlng ouL Lhe domlnanL message of Lhe
welghL-loss sysLems lndusLry and Lhe vanlLy lndusLrles ln general, llke physlque compeLlLlon.
1hese lndusLrles creaLe a mlndseL LhaL Lells you Lo focus lnLensely on and concenLraLe lnLensely
on speclflc deLalls of your dleL, and your body - Lhe very Lhlngs LhaL remove you from your self-
compasslonaLe mlndseL. So you replace a healLhy and adapLable mlndseL, wlLh an unhealLhy
and rlgld one. uoes LhaL sound loglcal Lo you?
1he welghL-loss sysLems and Lhelr meeLlng groups conLlnue Lo relnforce Lhe fear-facLor whlle
assumlng LhaL Lhe group afflllaLlon ls esLeem-bulldlng." LeL me be clear - Lhere ls absoluLely
noLhlng ln Lhe dleL-menLallLy LhaL ls 'esLeem-bulldlng.' And here ls anoLher counLer-lnLulLlve
LacLlc used ln Lhese so-called supporL groups" for welghL-loss. ?ou welgh yourself ln fronL of
Lhe group. 1hls ls supposed Lo be a sorL of accounLablllLy LacLlc. lL ls also meanL Lo be percelved
as belng emoLlonally supporLlve." 8uL ls lL? lsn'L Lhe facL of belng welghed ln fronL of oLhers
also a means Lo deepenlng Lhe fear-facLor lnvolved ln Lhe whole process? 1hlnk abouL lL - lf you
have had years and years of exlsLlng welghL-conLrol problems Lhen would havlng yourself be
welghed ln fronL of Lhe group be someLhlng you would look forward Lo?
Shouldn'L Lhe ongolng process of welghL-conLrol be poslLlve and enLlclng - noL negaLlve and
scary and lnLlmldaLlng? lsn'L belng welghed ln fronL of oLhers [usL anoLher way Lo add on
emoLlonal pressure Lo Lhe whole process of dleLlng? Can you lmaglne Lhe level of lnLlmldaLlng
self-consclousness lnvolved ln even a subconsclous acknowledgemenL of Lhe poLenLlal for
humlllaLlon of belng welghed ln fronL of oLhers - especlally lf your numbers somehow don'L
measure up?" ln facL, doesn'L Lhls rlLual [usL relnforce LhaL lL's all abouL Lhe numbers, whlle
preLendlng Lo be supporLlve and esLeem-bulldlng? Can esLeem-bulldlng even be measured?
And oh sure, [usL llke on Lhe Lelevlslon program everyone applauds Lhe momenLary success
hero of pounds losL for LhaL week or monLh. 1hls ls a useful markeLlng LacLlc. 1hese lndlvlduals
are held up wlLh Lhe usual - see, our sysLem works" - lndusLry agenda and relnforcemenL.
8uL whaL lf you are one of Lhe ones whose numbers don'L measure up? Pow would LhaL make
you feel? ls LhaL esLeem-bulldlng? noL Lo menLlon - Lhe whole ldea [usL leads yeL agaln Lo a
compare, conLrasL and compeLe mode of Lhlnklng. All Lhls does ls yeL agaln, add even more
sLress and pressure Lo Lhe whole process. 1hls ls Lhe lnsldlous underlylng naLure of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy. And even lf you are Lhe hero of Lhe day aL Lhe group welgh-ln, whaL happens when
your welghL-loss lnevlLably slows down and sLalls? Are you golng Lo feel llke a success ln LhaL

www.scoLLabel.com
12

momenL? Cr ls Lhe whole rlLual of success and fallure now golng Lo leave you feellng llke you
have falled? 1hls ls Lhe lle of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. And lL's relnforced by all Lhese sysLems of
welghL-loss ouL Lhere. And yeL none of lL ls esLeem-bulldlng, and none of lL makes any sense ln
Lhe real-world. l call lL Lhe slstetbooJ of tbe ttovellloq mlsety."
1he reallLy ls LhaL Lhe number one behavloral Lrlgger Lo an eplsode of overeaLlng or blnge-
eaLlng comes afLer welghlng yourself. 1hls behavloral Lrlgger represenLs [usL how much
emoLlonal sLock and emoLlonal [udgmenL Lhe dleL-menLallLy has you puLLlng on yourself - and lL
all becomes pro[ecLed onLo Lhe welghL scale and Lhe welgh-ln process. l call anyone who falls
for Lhls Lrap Lhe blggesL loser" lndeed - because whaL you lose ls a loL more lmporLanL Lhan
pounds counLed off (or on)!
And Lhls doesn'L [usL apply Lo overwelghL people who slgn up for Lhese commerclal sysLems of
welghL-loss. lL also applles Lo people who conslder Lhemselves flL" buL sLlll llve under Lhe
mlsguldance of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. lar Loo many people who conslder Lhemselves Lo be flL"
percelve eaLlng as bad" or someLhlng LhaL musL be earned" - raLher Lhan a survlval requlslLe
Lhe body needs ln order Lo funcLlon. And [usL as many flL" people reporL blnge-eaLlng afLer
welghlng Lhemselves -> elLher as a LreaL" and reward" for belng good" - or as a self-
lndulgenL punlshmenL" because of a [udgmenL of Lhemselves for noL loslng enough welghL.
1here ls noLhlng flL" abouL Lhls klnd of mlndseL. lL ls noL compasslonaLe, lL ls noL reasonable,
and lL ls noL producLlve. All lL does ls once agaln falsely lmply LhaL a welghL scale has Lhe power
Lo make you feel good or bad abouL yourself - or Lo feel llke a momenLary success or fallure
wlLhln yourself. WhaL klnd of emoLlonal pressure does LhaL puL on you - and ln you, for you Lo
Lry llve wlLh and ablde by? Can you noL see how uLLerly rldlculous Lhls ls?
And lf you re-read Lhe above secLlon and Lruly undersLand lL, Lhen anoLher glarlng reallLy also
becomes obvlous. nuLrlLlonal knowledge has noLhlng Lo do wlLh any of Lhls. All of Lhls ls
reflecLlve of a faulLy mlndseL LhaL lncreases emoLlonal pressure abouL everyLhlng surroundlng a
blologlcal lmperaLlve. Anlmals don'L feel" good or bad abouL Lhemselves based on whaL Lhey
eaL? 1hey are noL emoLlonally lnvesLed by food - even Lhough all mammals are emoLlonal
connecLed Lo Lhe feedlng process. So, nuLrlLlonal knowledge has llLLle Lo do wlLh any of Lhls -
and ofLen lL [usL deepens Lhe effecLs of Lhe dleL-menLallLy and Lhe grlp lL holds on your mlnd.
nuLrlLlonal knowledge wlll noL ever be able Lo sLop you from self-saboLaglng eaLlng behavlors
because of a faulLy personal psychology and psychlc lmprlnL of Lhe dleL-menLallLy.
l ofLen lnLeracL wlLh people who make Lhe fundamenLal mlsLake of confuslng a good
knowledge of nuLrlLlon" wlLh an undersLandlng of meLabollsm and Lhe blology of welghL
conLrol. 1hese Lwo Lhlngs are profoundly dlfferenL and dlsLlncL. Moreover - every one of Lhese

www.scoLLabel.com
13

Lhlngs ls a conslderaLlon only of Lhe physlcal realm of Lhe Lrlangle of awareness - namely, dleL,
food, eaLlng, meLabollsm and body-welghL. 8uL as we've been dlscusslng Lhe dleL-menLallLy
fuses all of Lhls by over-burdenlng Lhe emoLlonal realm wlLh lL. 1herefore how does knowledge
of nuLrlLlon ease LhaL klnd of sLress ln you? - Answer, lL doesn'L.
1he LruLh ls mosL of you readlng Lhls do noL have a 'dleL-lssue' - ln reallLy, you have a 'Lhlnklng
lssue' abouL dleL. (Cr dleLlng) And Lhls ls Lhe fundamenLal problem. ?ou need Lo connecL all
Lhree realms of Lhe Lrlangle of awareness when lL comes Lo dleL and eaLlng behavlors. And you
need Lo noL only 'connecL' Lhem - buL puL Lhem ln a proper level of lmporLance. 1he dleL-
menLallLy ls one LhaL leads you Lo overemphaslzlng Lhe emoLlonal realm ln relaLlon Lo dleL,
dleLlng, and welghL-conLrol. And lL does Lhls by havlng you Lhlnk ln negaLlve Lerms and negaLlve
emoLlonal consLrucLs -> worry, fear, sLress, gullL eLc. lnflaLlng Lhe emoLlonal realm of awareness
when lL comes Lo welghL-conLrol and welghL-loss, ls [usL a no wln slLuaLlon because of all Lhe
sLress and lmporLance - false sLress and false lmporLance - LhaL Lhls emoLlonallLy creaLes. And
no knowledge of nuLrlLlon ls golng Lo correcL LhaL. ln facL, lL may deepen lL by falsely mlsleadlng
you LhaL knowledge of nuLrlLlon ls dolng someLhlng" abouL Lhe way your dleL-menLallLy ls
conLrolllng you. 8uL ln facL pursulng a sLudy and knowledge of nuLrlLlon may acLually be proof
of [usL how deep your dleL-menLallLy ls conLrolllng you. 1he dlsLlncLlon lles ln Lhe level of Lhe
emoLlonal componenL LhaL ls drlvlng your pursulL of nuLrlLlonal knowledge.
...
And l've seen lL a Lhousand Llmes over. A worklng knowledge of nuLrlLlon more ofLen Lhan noL
[usL becomes anoLher lle you Lell yourself. l have had hundreds of cllenLs who remaln
perpeLually overwelghL, buL Lhey know Lhe nuLrlLlonal conLenL and calorles conLenL and
macronuLrlenL breakdown of every food ln a grocery sLore - even fasL foods. ?es, even wlLh me
as Lhelr Coach, Lhey remaln way overwelghL and consLanLly sLruggle and baLLle wlLh welghL-
conLrol. 1hey go Lo every dleL symposlum and conference Lhere ls - and yeL Lhey remaln
overwelghL and always ln a baLLle wlLhln Lhemselves - and Lhey [usL can'L see Lhe lle Lhey llve
under and ablde ln.
Llke Lhem, maybe you'll relaLe Lo Lhe LruLh LhaL whlle your obsesslon wlLh dleL and nuLrlLlon
Lells you LhaL you conLrol food ln your llfe - Lhe reallLy ls LhaL all Lhls obsesslon and sLudy of
nuLrlLlon [usL proves LhaL menLally and emoLlonally, food ln your llfe ls conLrolllng you.
lurLhermore you need Lo examlne Lhe acLlon/behavloral elemenLs of Lhls LruLh as well - as lL
plays ouL ln your llfe. !usL because you can say 'no' Lo cerLaln foods as you underLake yeL
anoLher aLLempL aL dleLlng for welghL-conLrol - Lhe real quesLlon ls - ln LhaL same lnsLance of
belng able Lo say 'no' Lo cerLaln foods - have you losL Lhe self-compasslonaLe ablllLy Lo say 'yes'

www.scoLLabel.com
14

Lo yourself, wlLhln LhaL self-deprlvaLlon sLaLe of mlnd? And Lhls ls an lmporLanL quesLlon. ?ou
don'L even reallze LhaL each and every dleL, under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe dleL-menLallLy robs a
llLLle more of your self-compasslonaLe ablllLy Lo say 'yes' Lo yourself, because of your efforLs of
loslng welghL. And whaL you really lose ln LhaL equaLlon ls far more lmporLanL Lhan any losL
pounds LhaL may show up fot o llttle wblle, on Lhe welghL scale.
When your llfe's focus becomes Laken over and swallowed by food and dleL - whaL Lo eaL, how
Lo eaL, whaL you can'L eaL, whaL you 'have Lo' eaL, whaL you welgh, Lhe rlghL vs. Lhe wrong
foods, Lhe good vs. Lhe bad foods, Lhe healLhy vs. Lhe lndulgenL foods, Lhe rlghL dleL vs. Lhe
wrong dleL, whaL oLher people wlll Lhlnk - Lhen doesn'L Lhls llsL make lL obvlous LhaL food and
dleL become a black-hole of LhoughL and emoLlon - and of wasLed splrlLual focus and psychlc
energy?
And whlle Lhe dleL-menLallLy overemphaslzes and ampllfles Lhe emoLlonal realm ln connecLlon
Lo welghL conLrol - lL also muLaLes, and dlsLorLs whaL should be Lhe proper menLal realm ln
assoclaLlon wlLh welghL managemenL and welghL-conLrol. 1here ls a Zen expresslon LhaL sLaLes
- teslstooce ls bell." And a mlndseL of reslsLance ls hell because lL places your mlnd ln a sLaLe of
LormenL. And yeL lsn'L Lhe dleL-menLallLy based compleLely on creaLlng and encouraglng a
mlndseL of reslsLance - and Lherefore a mlndseL of LormenL? 1hlnk abouL lL - under Lhe
lnfluence of Lhe dleL-menLallLy you are supposed Lo 'teslst' LempLaLlon, 'teslst' your cravlngs,
'teslst' your hunger, 'teslst' lndulgenL foods, 'teslst' forbldden foods, 'teslst' cheaLlng - and on
and on lL goes. So, whlle Lhe dleL-menLallLy grossly ampllfles Lhe emoLlonal realm of awareness
ln Lerms of aLLempLed welghL-conLrol - lL also menLally muLaLes and dlsLorLs Lhe menLal realm
of awareness ln relaLlon Lo welghL managemenL and welghL-conLrol as well. And as obvlously
fuLlle Lhen LhaL Lhe dleL-menLallLy obvlously ls - you sLlll can'L help yourself from buylng lnLo lLs
false noLlons of 'dleL-dellvery' Lo a new and beLLer you.
MosL of you are lmprlsoned wlLhln Lhe dleL-menLallLy because you remaln ln denlal of lL. 8uL
look aL Lhe facLs. When food and dleL dlcLaLe Lo you each and every day - how Lo be, how acL,
whaL Lo wanL, whaL Lo Lhlnk, whaL Lo Lhlnk abouL, whaL Lo need, whaL Lo focus on, aL Lhe
expense of all oLher componenLs of emoLlonal healLh and aLLenLlon - Lhen Lhls ls
menLal/emoLlonal prlson. lL ls nC1 freedom. 1hls ls unnaLural and self-consclous 'opptessloo by
obsessloo.' 1hls ls nC1 Lhe dlsclpllne of self-conLrol - of Lhe empowerlng Lype LhaL moves you
forward ln llfe. no, Lhls keeps you anchored and chalned ln your llfe. Cnce agaln, we see Lhe
dleL-menLallLy ls someLhlng LhaL 'Lakes from you.' lL doesn'L 'glve Lo you.' Cnly Lhe self-
compasslonaLe mlnd ls golng Lo 'glve Lo you' ln a way where you can develop order, dlsclpllne,
and self-conLrol ln ways LhaL enhance you Lhrough healLhy self-expresslon, self-love, and self-
accepLance. ConLrarlly, self-re[ecLlon, self-denlal, self-deprlvaLlon - and Lhe mlndseL of

www.scoLLabel.com
1S

reslsLance are Lhe paLh of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. Pow can LhaL posslbly be susLalnable for a long-
Lerm way of llvlng? Pow can LhaL posslbly be healLhy for you?
lsn'L lL Llme Lo reflecL and Lhen nurLure Lhe reallzaLlon of where your feellngs of lnadequacy
come from? uoesn'L Lhe whole mlsLake of confuslng 'welghL-conLrol' wlLh 'loslng welghL' come
from personal feellngs of lnadequacy? And where does LhaL senLlmenL come from? lL comes
from Lhe consLanL culLural bombardmenL you recelve LhaL you should compare, conLrasL, and
compeLe wlLh oLhers. ?our feellngs of lnadequacy come from condlLloned responses Lo Loxlc
envlronmenLs - envlronmenLs llke commerclal 'sysLems' of welghL-loss masqueradlng as self-
empowermenL courses - only Lhey rob you of LhaL very Lhlng. 1oxlc envlronmenLs llke alr-
brushed phoLos of celebrlLles and cover-models. And you say you are above all LhaL and lL
doesn'L affecL you - buL you underesLlmaLe Lhe lngralned effecLs of culLural messages Lelllng
you Lo use your body and your beauLy Lo compare, conLrasL, and compeLe wlLh everyone else.
CLherwlse, why would you feel lnadequaLe aL all - or lnadequaLe ln a way LhaL makes you Lhlnk
LhaL welghL-loss ls Lhe soluLlon Lo Lhls feellng of lnadequacy? lL's senseless - only you never,
ever Lake Lhe Llme Lo Lhlnk lL Lhrough Lhls way, do you?
lL's Llme Lo reflecL and Lhen nurLure Lhe reallzaLlon of where your self-respecL and self-
assuredness come from. And Lhese come from a reflecLlon of your Lrue and auLhenLlc self - and
conLenLmenL wlLh belng LhaL person. Cnly from Lhls sLarLlng polnL of self-compasslon and self-
empowermenL ls welghL-loss and welghL-conLrol someLhlng even worLhy Lo asplre Lo. 1he dleL-
menLallLy robs you of Lhese Lhlngs - and Lhen sells Lhem back Lo you as 'soluLlons'- false
soluLlons LhaL you can 'feel beLLer abouL yourself' so many pounds from now - buL noL unLll
Lhen. 8uL Lhe LruLh exlsLs ln whaL Lhe dleL-menLallLy sLeals away from you. 1he LruLh ls you wlll
never know whaL lL Lruly feels llke Lo feel good llvlng from 'lnslde' your body, lf you can only
concelve of your body from lLs 'ouLslde' packaglng.
Look aL Lhls emall l recelved and Lhen we'll dlscuss lL:
nl 5cott-
l bove teoJ o lot of tbe oolloe ottlcles yoo bove wtltteo fot womeo (ctovloqs, comfott fooJs,
metobollsm tecovety, etc.). wbete Jo yoo tblok tbe best ploce to stott ls fot someooe lo oeeJ of
belp? My welqbt bos yo-yo'J op ooJ Jowo most of my teeooqe ooJ oJolt llfe (l'm J6), oltbooqb
lt's beeo mote oo tbe beovy slJe tboo tbe flt slJe. l've boJ two cbllJteo (6 ooJ olmost J). l
boveo't Jooe completely toJlcol Jlets bot l bove Jowo ooes tbot wete too low colotlcolly fot my
boJy most llkely os well os ovetttololoq/too mocb cotJlo. l woot to qet my boJy lo vety flt sbope
ooJ beoltby to be o tole moJel to my qltls, qet my self-cooflJeoce bock, ooJ to llve o looq llfe
(ooJ look qooJ). l qoess l'm coofoseJ oo bow mooy colotles l sboolJ be eotloq ooJ bow to qet to

www.scoLLabel.com
16

tbot polot (l koow l'm ptobobly eotloq too few oow cooslJetloq my welqbt ooJ tbot l wotk oot 6
Joys o week) wltboot pottloq oo mote fot. l woot to qet o boselloe estobllsbeJ/qet my
metobollsm beoltblet so tbot l coo stott losloq fot cottectly (ooJ oot losloq moscle). l bove oboot
50-55 lbs. to lose. l love yoot mloJ/boJy opptoocb to evetytbloq (ttololoq/oottltloo/boJy ooJ
mloJ lssoes) ooJ l koow yoot tepototloo fot soccess

l hlghllghLed some of Lhe above ln red. AfLer all LhaL we've dlscussed Lhus far, can you see ln Lhe
above example how Lhe dleL-menLallLy conLrols Lhls lady's mlnd and her Lhlnklng? llrsL her
welghL has gone up and down mosL of her adulL llfe. 1haL nLvL8 happens by chance. 1he body
does noL work LhaL way. 1hls can only happen wlLh frequenL dleLlng and of course lL's lnevlLable
fallure. So Lhe dleL-menLallLy has had a grlp on her a long Llme. noLlce how she equaLes
looklng flL" wlLh belng healLhy." 1hls ls anoLher false lnslnuaLlon of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. WhaL
ls worse of all ls LhaL she says she wanLs Lo be a good role model for her daughLers, buL her
dleL-menLallLy leads her Lo Lhlnklng and feellng she can only do LhaL based on her welghL and
her ouLer appearance. 1he dleL-menLallLy has robbed her of her self-compasslonaLe mlnd - Lhe
exacL Lhlng LhaL she 'should' wanL Lo role-model for her chlldren. noLlce how she Lles her self-
confldence Lo achlevlng welghL-loss goals - 'down Lhe road.' She loves my mlnd/body/splrlL
approach Lo everyLhlng - buL she can'L see her own dleL-menLallLy-blas wlLhln whaL she wrlLes.
1he dleL-menLallLy has her bellevlng LhaL her self-confldence ls a maLLer of body-welghL, body-
faL, and calorles-conLrol. She can'L see LhaL self-confldence has absoluLely noLhlng Lo do wlLh
Lhese oLher varlables - excepL ln Lhlnklng lL Lo be Lrue. She doesn'L see LhaL LreaLlng her body
wlLh respecL and compasslon ls an lnslde-ouL [ob - noL an ouLslde-ln one.

Many of you wlll read whaL l [usL sald above and agree wlLh lL. 8uL even wlLhln yourself, whaL
do you do? Llke her, you look aL your body's ouLer-appearance and Lhen re[ecL yourself. And
Lhen llke her you Lell yourself LhaL your 'Lrue' self-confldence ls 20, 30, 40, or ln Lhls case, an
arblLrary 30-33 pounds away. 1hls ls a mlndseL of self-re[ecLlon. Self-confldence cannoL co-exlsL
wlLh self-re[ecLlon. 1he mlndseL of self-re[ecLlon doesn'L ever help you - lL hurLs you. And you
don'L [usL geL lL back by Lhlnklng lL ls someLhlng you musL prove Lo yourself flrsL. ?ou geL lL back
by leLLlng go of Lhe self-re[ecLlon and you sLarL by [usL 'approvlng' of yourself - no maLLer whaL
your sLarLlng polnL may be. Self-confldence does noL suddenly come from calorles-conLrol. lf
you re-read LhaL lasL senLence agaln, doesn'L lL even sound rldlculous? Self-confldence exlsLs or
doesn'L exlsL ln Lhe splrlLual plane. SLruggllng wlLh calorles conLrol cannoL ever glve you self-
confldence. 8uL resLorlng your self-confldence wlll lead Lo calorles-conLrol becomlng a non-
sLruggle and non-lssue! Can you noL see how Lhe dleL-menLallLy Lurns rlghL Lhlnklng upslde
down and Lhen dlsLorLs lL?

www.scoLLabel.com
17

8uL [usL llke wlLh Lhe lady ln Lhe above leLLer, lsn'L lL Lrue LhaL you keep Lhlnklng LhaL dleLs and
dleLlng and welghL-loss wlll connecL you back Lo yourself? Can you noL see how Lhls llne of
Lhlnklng ls whaL keeps you separaLlng from yourself Lo begln wlLh?
...

Summary 1hus Iar

l geL emall leLLers all Lhe Llme from people who were dleLlng along [usL flne buL Lhen reporL LhaL
Lhey've fallen off Lhe wagon." l say, good! 8uL more lmporLanLly lf you've been absorblng all
Lhe sallenL polnLs presenLed Lhus far Lhen you know falllng off Lhe dleL-wagon ls lnevlLable once
you adapL Lhe faulLy mlndseL of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. 8uL Lhe message of Lhls whole pro[ecL ls Lhe
'anLl-dleL' approach Lo welghL loss and welghL-conLrol. 1he message l wanL Lo geL across ln Lhls
pro[ecL ls LhaL you can'L fall off a wagon lf you never [ump lnLo lL Lo begln wlLh!

So ls Lhls your purpose ln llfe Lhen? - 1o monlLor your food and your dleL and your welghL? lf
noL, Lhen why do you llve as Lhough lL ls your purpose? And lf so (sadly), Lhen l say you may
have a purpose buL now you have no real llfe Lo flL lL lnLo Lo. 1hese are Lhe essenLlal quesLlons
and dellberaLlons you need Lo ponder ln order Lo be able Lo subdue a dleL-menLallLy LhaL may
be conLrolllng you.

Pow abouL learnlng lnsLead Lo Lruly focus more on healLh and well-belng and less on feellngs of
success/fallure or compeLlLlon wlLh yourself - compeLlLlon assoclaLed wlLh how Lhe numbers on
Lhe scale move, or don'L move? ?ou need Lo flnd oLher means Lo 'feel' achlevemenL and success
wlLhln yourself - lnsLead of falsely measurlng and [udglng and emoLlonally lnLenslfylng Lhese
feellngs wlLhln Lhe self-recrlmlnaLlng mlndseL of Lhe dleL-menLallLy.

?ou need Lo resLore and llve by Lhe LruLh of Lhe noLlon LhaL your body houses an amazlng
splrlLual Lreasure - nC1 Lhe oLher way around, as Lhe dleL-menLallLy LwlsLs you lnLo Lhlnklng
and feellng. And unLll you acLually geL LhaL - you wlll never properly and poslLlvely connecL or
re-connecL Lo your body and geL 'lL' worklng 'for' you. lnsLead, you wlll [usL conLlnue Lhe
dlsconnecLlng and mlsgulded course of Lhlnklng LhaL 'you' can work 'on' your body. Well, your
body 'ls' you - and you are lL. And you musL reconnecL Lo Lhese LruLhs ln order Lo be able Lo leL
go of Lhe dleL-menLallLy LhaL creaLes faulLy and mlsLaken Lhlnklng and feellng ln you - abouL
welghL-loss and welghL-conLrol.

?ou need Lo come Lo grlps wlLh Lhe facL LhaL your llfe and your world are noL served by a leaner
you - buL by a happler you. So Lhe obvlous quesLlon Lhen ls - ls your dleL pursulLs and dleLlng

www.scoLLabel.com
18

aLLempLs and dleLlng process creaLlng a happler you - whlle aLLempLlng Lo creaLe a leaner you?
lsn'L Lhls an lmporLanL quesLlon Lo ponder and Lhlnk abouL and 'feel' abouL? lsn'L lL Lrue LhaL
Lhe dleL-menLallLy has you confuslng a leaner you wlLh a happler you? 8uL doesn'L Lhe whole
ampllfled emoLlons of Lhe dleL-menLallLy - and Lhe mlndseL of 'reslsLance' lL seLs ln moLlon -
don'L Lhese Lhlngs acLually prevenL a happler you from manlfesLlng as you aLLempL Lo become
Lhe leaner you?

?es lndeed - you can never fall off a dleL-menLallLy wagon lf you never [ump lnLo one Lo begln
wlLh!

www.scoLLabel.com
19

Chapter 2
L|es and kam|f|cat|ons of the D|et-Menta||ty

1he argumenL proposed so far should aL leasL have you quesLlonlng your own moLlves for
followlng or malnLalnlng a dleL-menLallLy ln your llfe. And now you LhaL you undersLand a llLLle
blL more abouL whaL Lhe dleL-menLallLy acLually ls, you can prepare yourself a llLLle blL beLLer Lo
leL go of lL. 8ecause you can only change whaL you Lruly and deeply undersLand. And Lhe dleL-
menLallLy and all of lLs lles and ramlflcaLlons have permeaLed Lhe culLural fabrlc for well over a
cenLury. ?ou may have lnherlLed lL even as a chlld. 8uL aL some polnL Lhe quesLlon has Lo
become, WhaL ls Lhe dleL-menLallLy dolng 'fot' my llfe - and whaL ls Lhe dleL-menLallLy dolng
'to' my llfe?" keep Lhls quesLlon ln Lhe forefronL of your mlnd aL all Llmes, and noL [usL durlng
readlng Lhls book. 1hls quesLlon lLself wlll help you caLch Lhose momenLs when Lhe dleL-
menLallLy ls mlsdlrecLlng and mlsleadlng you. And when you caLch lL ln acLlon, you are more
empowered Lo be able Lo do someLhlng abouL lL, ln Lhe momenL.
Powever, we've [usL begun Lo scraLch Lhe surface of all Lhe lles and ramlflcaLlon of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy. 1he dlscusslon ls conLlnued ln Lhls chapLer. Many of Lhe Lhemes wlll be repeaLed
LhroughouL Lhe book - mosLly because lL ls so lmporLanL Lo repeaL Lhem - buL also because
Lhese lles and ramlflcaLlons of Lhe dleL-menLallLy can appear ln dlsgulse ln many dlfferenL
conLexLs of your llfe as well. lL's lmporLanL for you Lo be able Lo recognlze Lhese Lhemes when
Lhey appear ln your llfe. 1hls way you are more empowered Lo change Lhem.
lor lnsLance, and flrsL and foremosL l pose Lhls quesLlon: WhaL ls Lhe mosL common
denomlnaLor among all people who dleL? 1hlnk abouL LhaL for a second. now Lhlnk a llLLle
deeper. lL's noL food cholces and lL's noL hunger and lL's noL welghL. 1o Lhlnk so ls [usL more
emphasls and focus ln Lhe wrong area of Lhe Lrlangle of awareness. 1he mosL common
denomlnaLor among all people who dleL - serlal dleLers lf you wlll - lsn'L ln Lhe physlcal realm.
1he mosL common denomlnaLor among all people who dleL Lakes place ln Lhe emoLlonal realm.
uo you have lL yeL? Cf course noL - because your dleL-menLallLy prevenLs you from seelng lL.
SLLl-C8l1lClSM ls Lhe mosL common denomlnaLor among all people who ldenLlfy Lhemselves as
dleLers." ?ou consLanLly are mlsled Lo crlLlclze yourself when your dleL sLops worklng, or lL
doesn'L work aL all. Cr worse, you crlLlclze yourself when you break all your own sllly self-
lmposed dleL-rules for whaL Lo eaL, when Lo eaL, how Lo eaL, and why Lo eaL. And yeL lL's almosL
cerLaln LhaL when you crlLlclze yourself llke Lhls - Lhls ls lLself Lhe paLh Lo fallure. ln your
aLLempLs Lo manage your eaLlng and conLrol your welghL, you cannoL 'self-punlsh' your way Lo

www.scoLLabel.com
20

success. 1hls ls [usL anoLher lle LhaL Lhe dleL-menLallLy makes you belleve ln. ?ou Lhen end up
wlLh Lwo lssues. Cne ls llnked Lo eaLlng/dleL and welghL conLrol. 8uL Lhe more serlous lssue
becomes your relaLlonshlp wlLh yourself. ?ou dlsconnecL and allenaLe your body from yourself.
?ou become abuslve and neglecLfully self-re[ecLlng as well. And you LreaL yourself wlLh
condlLlonal accepLance." - And usually Lhese condlLlons for self-accepLance revolve around
food and dleL conslsLency and compllance.
And all of Lhls ls supposed Lo be some worLhy Lrade-off Lo lose a few pounds? uon'L you reallze
you are loslng Lhlngs far more lmporLanL by adapLlng Lhls mlndseL? 1hls self-crlLlclsm never
creaLes confldence, compeLence, encouragemenL, enLhuslasm or susLalned progress, does lL?
AL besL, Lhls klnd of self-crlLlclsm has you fall ln llne llke a good llLLle soldler, aL leasL aL flrsL. 8uL
lL's all based on self-crlLlclsm, self-re[ecLlon and condlLlonal self-accepLance - and never on
compasslon. 1herefore lL cannoL lasL. And lL wlll noL [usL be Lhe dleL LhaL falls when lL does fall.
lL wlll also be Lhe psychlc damage all Lhls self-crlLlclsm has on you.
lor example, l once had a cllenL who had spenL decades re[ecLlng herself for noL havlng her
ldeal body. She had adapLed Lhe dleL-menLallLy for so long lL had become a parL of her. l Lrled Lo
make Lhls polnL Lo her over and over agaln. She would ofLen reporL LhaL she was 'afrald' of
eaLlng, and 'afrald' of food. l Lrled Lo explaln Lo her how rldlculous lL was for her Lo Lle such
emoLlonal senLlmenLs Lo such Lhlngs. l Lrled Lo use oLher examples of Lhlngs LhaL would make
no sense Lo be 'afrald of' because Lhey are lnanlmaLe ob[ecLs. unforLunaLely l used Lhe example
of her cloLhes. And l sald Lo her LhaL belng afrald of food makes abouL as much sense as belng
afrald of her cloLhes. And her reply lllusLraLed Lhe depLhs of Lhe grlp of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. l was
referrlng Lo her cloLhes merely as lnanlmaLe ob[ecLs, say, llke furnlLure or oLher household
lLems. l should have used a beLLer example. She responded Lo me LhaL she was lndeed afrald of
her cloLhes. She was afrald LhaL lf her cloLhes dldn'L flL Lhe way she felL Lhey should, Lhen she
would haLe herself all day long and Lry Lo use LhaL feellng Lo sLarve herself for Lhe day. And so lL
goes. l learned a loL abouL Lhe dleL-menLallLy by Lrylng Lo use an example Loo close Lo body-
lmage, whlch ls Loo close Lo body-welghL, whlch ls Loo close Lo dleL and food. And lL all feeds"
on each oLher. 8uL such are Lhe ramlflcaLlons of Lhe dleL-menLallLy and all Lhe psychlc damage lL
can cause once lL ls embraced as a worklng mlndseL.
And Lhls lllusLraLes a blgger reallLy of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. uleLs" have always been represenLed
by Lwo words - exLernal 'fotce' and exLernal coottol.' ?eL, lsn'L Lhls exacLly how prlsons
funcLlon? Pow are elLher of Lhese Lwo lnfluences ever golng Lo be a parL of a self-empowerlng
experlence? 1hls ls Lhe conLradlcLlon of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. And Lhls ls Lhe 'sufferlng and
LormenL' LhaL you feel wlLhln lL - Lhe klnd of sufferlng and LormenL lllusLraLed by Lhe example of
my former cllenL above. l wanL you Lo Lhlnk abouL Lhe prlson noLlon of Lhe words 'force' and

www.scoLLabel.com
21

'conLrol' and exLernals LhaL are applled Lo you and your llfe - whlch ls dlfferenL Lhan an
empowerlng sense of self-conLrol, whlch you adapL Lo enhance your llfe, buL you don'L force lL
on yourself. 1hlnk of Lhe dlfference beLween belng 'conflned ln prlson' - and 'llvlng aL home.'
1hls ls a blg dlfference and you need Lo conslder Lhe ramlflcaLlons of Lhe dleL-menLallLy and
where lL places you wlLhln Lhese Lwo exLremes.
1hlnk abouL whaL lL means Lo noL [usL 'llve' buL Lo 'feel' aL home ln your everyday experlence of
LhoughL and behavlor. lmaglne whaL lL would be llke Lo have your home be under survelllance
aL all Llmes. 1hls ls anoLher ramlflcaLlon of your dleL-menLallLy. ?ou are never golng Lo feel and
be 'aL home' ln a body LhaL ls always under survelllance, are you? 1hlnk abouL lL. ?our body ls
Lhe 'home' your SLLl" and you SCuL" dwells ln. lmaglne lf Lhe home you dwell ln rlghL now
was always under survelllance by nazl's or CesLapo. Pow comforLable are you golng Lo be llvlng
Lhere? Well lsn'L Lhls whaL you do under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe dleL-menLallLy? - ?ou -> your food,
your meals, and your welghL - always under heavy and scruLlnlzlng emoLlonal survelllance. 1haL
lsn'L freedom, and Lhere ls no way lL can feel llke freedom elLher. Moreover, Lhls lsn'L 'belng
and llvlng' aL home wlLhln yourself elLher, ls lL? Pow can lL be? And yeL Lhls ls noL only a
ramlflcaLlon of Lhe dleL-menLallLy - lL ls your own personal expecLaLlons wlLhln lL. Pow can Lhls
ever lead anywhere poslLlve, wheLher lL conLrols your welghL or noL?
lf your relaLlonshlp wlLh yourself ls crlLlcal and harsh Lhen your lnner world ls noL golng Lo be a
comforLable and conLenLed place Lo llve ln, nor Lo llve from. And no dleL ls golng Lo ever correcL
LhaL. MosL dleLs ln facL are [usL golng Lo relnforce all of Lhls - because doesn'L Lhe dleL-
menLallLy lnsLlll ln you Lo be crlLlcal, and harsh and [udgmenLal? So underLaklng anoLher dleL Lo
Lhlnk LhaL ls Lhe soluLlon Lo your welghL-conLrol lssues - ls llke [usL changlng Lhe nazl and
CesLapo personnel who keep your home under survelllance - and Lhen [usL hoplng Lhls new
group wlll be 'klnder Lo you.'
8uL none of Lhls can work. A dleL ls LacLlcal - Lhe dleL-menLallLy - ls sLraLeglcal. lL musL be
replaced before you wlll ever feel 'aL home' agaln wlLhln yourself. 8uL repeaLedly aLLacklng and
crlLlclzlng yourself over your relaLlonshlp Lo food or dleL ls parL and parcel of Lhe negaLlve
emoLlonal aLLachmenLs over food and dleL LhaL wlll keep you separaLed from yourself and
dlsconnecLed from and dlvorced from your own self-empowermenL. And Lhls keeps you ln an
endless baLLle wlLh and agalnsL yourself. ?ou know Lhls ls Lrue. So, how ls Lhls equaLlon ever
golng Lo be a 'beoltby' or 'flt' place Lo llve from?
...
8uL Lhrough menLal and emoLlonal and behavloral rlLuals of Lhe dleL-menLallLy you Lake on a
self-desLrucLlve mlndseL wlLhouL reallzlng lL - LoLally unconsclously. ?ou Lell yourself LhaL Lhls

www.scoLLabel.com
22

klnd of exLernally applled conLrol menLloned above = perfecLlon, as ln Lhls equaLlon -> conLrol =
perfecLlon, and LhaL ls whaL you alm for. ?ou also Lell yourself LhaL 'sufferlng' wlLhln Lhe dleL
menLallLy ls a deslred quallLy and lL glves you a personal sorL of sense of valldaLlon and
redempLlon. ?ou once agaln, for Lhe umpLeenLh Llme, Lry Lo reason Lo yourself LhaL a growllng
sLomach and a sLarvlng and empLy splrlL means you musL be dolng someLhlng rlghL. And Lhen
Lhere you are - rlghL ln Lhe bellows of a vlclous and never-endlng cycle of self-denlal and self-
re[ecLlon. ?ou declare war on your body's naLural urges and convlnce yourself lL's 'wrong' and
'bad' Lo feel Lhese naLural urges. ?ou fall Lo reallze LhaL whaL ls wrong and bad wlLhln Lhls
equaLlon ls [udglng and re[ecLlng yourself for noL belng able Lo malnLaln compleLely absurd
expecLaLlons. When your body ls deprlved lL ls golng Lo leL you know lL - usually by lnLenslfylng
blologlcal urges wlLhln you. ?ou can'L [usL 'be sLrong' and re[ecL Lhese urges - any more Lhan
you could be sLrong and re[ecL breaLhlng for an hour. ?ou have puL yourself ln a useless baLLle
wlLh exLernal conLrol and exLernal force. And aL Lhls polnL you Lurn Lhe dleL-menLallLy as well as
Lhe dleL lLself, and all Lhe rules LhaL go along wlLh lL - you've Lurned Lhem all lnLo emoLlonal
weapons you use agalnsL yourself. ?ou know Lhls ls Lrue. 8uL now you need Lo quesLlon how
you could have ever expecLed lL Lo work for you ln Lhe flrsL place?
?ou need Lo acknowledge LhaL Lhere ls a quallLaLlve emoLlonal dlfference beLween Lhe sacrlflces
lnvolved wlLh an empowerlng sense of dlsclpllne, and Lhe noLlon of 'sufferlng' whlch ls punlLlve
and based ln self-denlal and self-deprlvaLlon. Self-conLrol ls noL Lhe same as self-denlal. Self-
conLrol has noLhlng Lo do wlLh Lhe percepLlon of exLernal force belng applled 'on' you. Self-
conLrol comes from wlLhln and ls parL of Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlndseL. 1hlnk abouL Lhls
noLlon of chooslng 'sufferlng' for a momenL and whaL lL acLually means vs. whaL Lhe dleL-
menLallLy wanLs you Lo Lhlnk lL means. All over Lhe world where we hear of news of any klnd of
human sufferlng aL all we lmmedlaLely see LhaL Lhe ald ls proposed Lo allevlaLe Lhe sufferlng.
1he 'sufferlng' ls never seen as a good or poslLlve Lhlng on Lhose who suffer. lL ls human naLure
LhaL where sufferlng exlsLs, you wlll Lry Lo allevlaLe and vanqulsh lL. 1herefore, how reasonable
ls lL Lo expecL you can lnvlLe 'sufferlng' under Lhe noLlon of Lhe dleL-menLallLy and 'a dleL' and
expecL LhaL aL some Llme you yourself are noL golng Lo Lry Lo allevlaLe or remove Lhls self-
lnduced sufferlng. lL ls human naLure Lo do so. 8uL whaL does your dleL-menLallLy Lell you? lL
Lells you Lo re[ecL yourself for noL belng able Lo conLlnue Lo endure Lhls klnd of psychologlcal
sufferlng. lL ls [usL a ludlcrous concepL and lL cannoL ever, ever work.
8uL under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe dleL-menLallLy you Lell yourself LhaL sufferlng ls Lhe only Lhlng
LhaL ls golng Lo work. So whaL ends up happenlng? ?ou end up crlLlclzlng yourself all Lhe way
lnLo convlnclng yourself of bellevlng ln Lhe nexL 'sclenLlflc' eaLlng plan and dleL-reglmen you
hear abouL. And how ls LhaL worklng for ya? - WhaL usually ends up happenlng ln Lhls scenarlo
ls Lhe dreaded honeymoon perlod dlscussed prevlously. ?ou convlnce yourself LhaL Lhe new dleL

www.scoLLabel.com
23

ls worklng - aL leasL ln Lhe shorL-Lerm. 8uL lsn'L Lhls [usL your exacL dleLlng hlsLory repeaLlng
lLself yeL agaln - yeL anoLher dleL Lo 'belleve' ln? And Lhen you lose some pounds upfronL only
Lo lnduce LhaL physlcal hunger you are supposed Lo be able Lo suffer Lhrough - buL you can'L. So
you puL all Lhe losL pounds back on, and even more - and you blame yourself. And Lhen you
evenLually begln Lhe process all over agaln of looklng for a new" dleL Lo belleve ln. ?ou've losL
Lhe lock and Lhe key Lo Lhe fundamenLal reallzaLlon of whaL Lhe dleL-menLallLy has sLolen from
you. And LhaL ls Lhe capaclLy Lo belleve ln yourself. 8uL Lhe dleL-menLallLy replaces Lhls and
leads you Lo seek one dleL afLer anoLher Lo 'belleve' ln. And Lhen by lmpllcaLlon Lhls leads you
Lo Lhe noLlon LhaL you can belleve ln yourself only afLer Lhe dleL 'works' and you've losL all Lhe
welghL - and you Lhlnk Lhls wlll remedy your self-esLeem and resLore your self-confldence.
So Lhe dleL-menLallLy leads you lnLo Lhls emoLlonal place where your lean and unsusLalnable
welghL and welghL-loss ls whaL provldes you wlLh your sense of personal salvaLlon. 1hls ls when
you know and feel you are on Lop. And even Lhough personal hlsLory Lells you Lhls ls
unsusLalnable, you conLlnue Lo belleve Lhls lle, don'L you? So now - lf and when you do galn any
welghL back, you go from feellng on Lop Lo auLomaLlcally slnklng emoLlonally Lo Lhe very
boLLom - crushed by your own welghL - yeL agaln. 1he dleL-menLallLy presenLs you Lhen wlLh
Lwo forces LhaL clash vlolenLly agalnsL each oLher. ?ou 'crave' Lhlnness buL you 'fear' welghL-
galn - and you lnLernallze boLh of Lhese Lhlngs wlLhln yourself. 1hls cannoL posslbly lead Lo
calm-asserLlve energy - Lhe klnd LhaL produces resulLs, can lL? no! lnsLead, emoLlonal noLlons
of 'cravlng' and 'fear' [usL produce emoLlonal offsprlng of anxleLy and sLress. 1he quesLlon
becomes, how are you ever golng Lo llve and Lhrlve wlLhln 'belng yourself' by rldlng Lhe ups
and downs of Lhls dleL-menLallLy emoLlonal roller coasLer? All you do here wlLh Lhls self-
desLrucLlve menLallLy ls cemenL yourself Lo very damaglng and self-lmplodlng defaulL poslLlons.
?ou end up emoLlonally lnLenslfylng Lhls noLlon of 'cravlng' whaL you wanL - whlle aL Lhe same
Llme Lrylng Lo llve wlLh 'fear of reprlsals' for [usL belng human. 1hese are [usL more lles and
ramlflcaLlons of Lhe dleL-menLallLy.
And whaL dlsLorLed emoLlonal fanLasy does Lhls lead Lo? lL leads Lo Lhe noLlon wlLhln Lhe dleL-
menLallLy LhaL you change and alLer your body so you can love lL. ->Change your body so you
can love lL. lsn'L Lhls exacLly whaL ls sold Lo you by every flLness and welghL-loss company ouL
Lhere? 8uL when you read lL llke Lhls - does Lhls rlng Lrue Lo you? lsn'L Lhe real LruLh more along
Lhe llnes LhaL when you begln Lo love your body enough Lo change lL - Lhen you nurLure and
respecL lL all along Lhe way as well. ?ou don'L re[ecL lL, and by assoclaLlon re[ecL yourself ln Lhe
process. Self-nurLurlng, self-respecL, self-accepLance - Lhese Lhlngs MuS1 all go LogeLher ln a
mlndseL of any worLhy goal - even and especlally a welghL loss or welghL-conLrol goal. ?ou
don'L have Lo 'llke' how your body looks. 8uL you can sLlll respecL all lL does for you. And you
can sLlll be compasslonaLe enough Lo undersLand LhaL lf you [usL accepL lL more Lenderly, you

www.scoLLabel.com
24

geL lL cooperaLlng wlLh your efforLs as well - lnsLead of Lrylng Lo force and subdue and punlsh lL
lnLo submlsslon. ?ou can'L nurLure and respecL a body aL Lhe same Llme you apply Lhe
emoLlonal energy LhaL denles lL, punlshes lL, and endlessly crlLlclzes lL. 1haL ls never golng Lo
work. All lL does ls puL you aL war wlLh yourself. And yeL, Lhls scenarlo has been Lhe worklng
parLs of Lhe dleL-menLallLy culLural mandaLe for well over a cenLury now.
ln facL, you can conslder your dleL-menLallLy Lo be analogous Lo bad-parenLlng. Any undergrad
soclology or psychology LexL wlll lllusLraLe Lhe dlfference beLween good parenLlng and bad
parenLlng - ln Lhe quallLaLlve sense. Cood parenLlng necesslLaLes LhaL whlle you correcL your
chlld for bad or poor or desLrucLlve behavlor - you do so wlLh a foundaLlon of love and
accepLance. 1hls ls so LhaL Lhe chlld knows LhaL lL ls Lhe behavlor LhaL ls unaccepLable and noL
her. lL ls Lhe behavlor LhaL ls belng crlLlclzed or posslbly even harshly [udged and correcLed - buL
lL ls noL Lhe chlld herself. 8uL bad parenLlng makes love and accepLance cooJltloool" upon
adherlng Lo requlred 'good' behavlor. 1hls leads Lo a lack of confldence, compeLence, and self-
esLeem and a sense of encouragemenL ln Lhe chlld. 1he chlld always fears reprlsals for behavlor
she ls unsure of. 1hls leads Lo seeklng 'valldaLlon' from exLernal sources - raLher Lhan
developlng a sense of personal valldaLlon and accepLance from wlLhln herself.
Well, look aL your funcLlonlng dleL-menLallLy by comparlson. Pow does LhaL dleL-menLallLy LreaL
you? lsn'L lL obvlous LhaL your dleL-menLallLy ls a loL llke bad-parenLlng? uoesn'L a dleL-
menLallLy dlcLaLe Lo you and wlLhln you LhaL you can only love and accepL yourself
'cooJltlooolly'- based upon how well you 'behave' wlLhln Lhe assoclaLed dleL-rules you are
supposed Lo ablde ln? 1herefore, Lhere are no self-nurLurlng and self-empowerlng, and self-
accepLlng 'cottectloos' Lo learn from wlLhln Lhe dleL-menLallLy, are Lhere? WlLhln Lhe dleL-
menLallLy lsn'L Lhe operaLlng manLra more along Lhe llnes of 'poolsb tbe slo ooJ teject tbe
slooet? WlLhln Lhe adapLed dleL-menLallLy Lhere ls no self-nurLurlng, only Lhe mad and bad
menLal/emoLlonal parenLlng of self-[udgmenL, self-recrlmlnaLlon, and self-re[ecLlon. ?ou can
never, ever, dleL your way Lo self-accepLance, self-nurLurlng, self-respecL, and self-love. 1hese
are all [usL more lles and ramlflcaLlons puL on you, and ln you, when you adapL Lhe dleL-
menLallLy.
lnsLead, [usL llke good parenLlng oughL Lo be - love and accepLance of yourself MuS1 8L Lhe
foundaLlon Lo 'cottectloq' or conLrolllng your body-welghL and your body. unLll you undersLand
and lmplemenL Lhls, you wlll fall aL 'dleLlng.' ?ou need Lo sLarL rlghL here by undersLandlng and
embraclng LhaL your adapLed dleL-menLallLy ls [usL a case of bad menLal/emoLlonal parenLlng -
lnslde your own head. ?ou correcL Lhe mlsLakes you are maklng ln your aLLempLs aL welghL-loss
and welghL conLrol - by nurLurlng and accepLlng yourself beyond Lhe mlsLakes you are maklng -
nC1 by re[ecLlng yourself for maklng Lhem.

www.scoLLabel.com
2S

1herefore, each Llme you choose Lo eaL and Lhlnk abouL food and dleL ln ways LhaL respecL your
body - Lhen you sLrengLhen your connecLlon wlLh lL. 8uL each Llme you assoclaLe LhoughLs of
heavy emoLlonal [udgmenL of 'good/bad' - and Lhlnk ln Lerms of body 'welghL' and 'rlghL and
wrong' - Lhen you keep relnforclng dlsconnecLlng from Lhe nurLurlng relaLlonshlp you are
meanL Lo have wlLh your body. And Lherefore you dlsconnecL from a relaLlonshlp wlLh a deeper
parL of yourself as well. 1hls ls whaL your dleL-menLallLy robs from you - buL Lhen Lrles Lo sell
back Lo you aL Lhe same Llme. 1hls ls Lhe level aL whlch Lhe problems and lssues of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy flourlsh. And you end up feellng 'homeless' whlle llvlng lnslde yourself.
...
And whaL Lhe dleL-menLallLy and Lhe welghL-loss lndusLrles wanL Lo sell back Lo you ls LhaL
'dleLlng' and welghL-loss ls Lhe only underLaklng LhaL ls golng Lo reconnecL you wlLh LhaL deeper
relaLlonshlp you are meanL Lo have wlLh yourself - and Lhe healLhy percepLlon Lhls relaLlonshlp
glves you abouL your body as well. 8uL Lhls leads Lo [usL Lhe nexL lle of Lhe dleL-menLallLy and
Lhe welghL-loss lndusLrles. ?ou are led, mlsled LhaL ls, Lo always belleve LhaL your soluLlons are
'Lask-orlenLed' - and Lhls ls why you buy lnLo Lhe noLlon of [usL 'ttyloq botJet' aL Lhe nexL dleL,
and Lhe nexL, and Lhe nexL eLc. 8uL Lhe LruLh, Lhe real and honesL LruLh - and Lhe LruLh you Lruly
know lf you would [usL calm down and Lhlnk abouL lL -> Lhe LruLh ls LhaL your welghL-conLrol
soluLlons are NC1 Lask-orlenLed, as ln 'dleLlng' yeL agaln. no. ?our soluLlons are relaLlonshlp-
orlenLed -> Lhe relaLlonshlp you have wlLh food, Lhe relaLlonshlp you have wlLh dleL-aLLempLs,
and Lhe relaLlonshlp you have wlLh yourself. And Lhls ls why l use so many meLaphors of
relaLlonshlps" wlLhln Lhls pro[ecL - as ln Lhe baLLered dleLers" syndrome and Lhe bad
parenLlng" connecLlon dlscussed above. And so underLaklng anoLher 'Lask' of 'dleLlng' Lo
resLore and reconnecL Lhls relaLlonshlp connecLlon [usL sLarLs maklng less and less sense,
doesn'L lL? Cnly Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlndseL ls golng Lo properly and proflclenLly address
Lhe relaLlonshlp-soluLlon, whlch ls Lhe acLual soluLlon.
8uL unLll you undersLand Lhls fully you wlll conLlnue Lo buy lnLo Lhe dleL-menLallLy LhaL keeps
you Lhlnklng away from relaLlonshlp connecLlons and Loward tbe tosk of dleLlng as a soluLlon.
8uL lf 'dleLlng' ever was a soluLlon Lhen why would you have Lo keep repeaLlng Lhe process? uo
you really Lhlnk you are golng Lo lose welghL nexL Llme by [usL 'Lrylng harder?' lsn'L Lhls Lhe lle
you Lell yourself before each and every dleL-aLLempL? lsn'L Lhls a cenLral LeneL of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy? Can'L you see how Lhls ls Lhe exacL lle LhaL you need Lo surrender? WhaL you need Lo
reallze ls LhaL you need help - help Lo glve up and leL go of Lhe dleL-menLallLy - and nC1 help Lo
'Lry harder' wlLhln lL! And you cerLalnly don'L need anoLher dleL Lo 'Lry harder' wlLh, ln Lhls
equaLlon Lhen, do you?

www.scoLLabel.com
26

8ecause remember, Lhese personal securlLles of self-assurance you seek - Lhey are always
golng Lo be a maLLer of Lhe quallLy of Lhe relaLlonshlp you have wlLh yourself - and noL a maLLer
of how dlllgenLly you can sLlck Lo a dleL-underLaklng. 1he securlLy (emoLlonal, splrlLual,
lnLrapersonal) LhaL you Lhlnk belng Lhln or lean wlll provlde you ls [usL an llluslon. Leanness and
welghL-loss wlll noL dellver Lhese securlLles Lo you. lnsLead, Lhe reverse ls Lrue. Pavlng Lhese
personal securlLles ln place makes loslng or conLrolllng welghL a healLhy challenge, lnsLead of an
emoLlonally desLrucLlve process. And Lhls [usL lllusLraLes once agaln Lhe dlfference beLween Lhe
dleL-menLallLy and Lhe self-compasslon mlnd. 1he dleL-menLallLy has you Lhlnklng ln reverse of
whaL Lhe acLual LruLhs are for permanenL welghL-loss and welghL-conLrol. 1he dleL-menLallLy
always puLs Lhe carL before Lhe horse and expecLs Lhe carL Lo Lherefore pull Lhe horse along.
1he self-compasslonaLe mlnd seLs Lhls rlghL, wlLh Lhe 'horse'- of Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd
pulllng along Lhe 'carL' - whlch ls Lhe healLhy mlndseL of welghL-conLrol.
So unLll you reallze LhaL you have a Lhlnklng and feellng problem abouL dleL - Lhe dleL-menLallLy
wlll conLlnue Lo rule how you Lhlnk and feel abouL food/dleL/welghL eLc. ?ou wlll Lhen keep
experlenclng and llvlng and re-llvlng Lhe lles and ramlflcaLlons of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. lL ls your
menLal and emoLlonal realms LhaL are negaLlvely lmpacLlng your physlcal realm of welghL and
welghL-conLrol lssues. ?ou musL address Lhe over-emphasls of Lhe emoLlonal aLLachmenL of Lhe
dleL-menLallLy Lo food and welghL-conLrol and Lhe menLal mlsLakes and lles Lhe dleL-menLallLy
leads you Lo belleve. 1he boLLom llne ls Lhls maln lle of Lhe dleL-menLallLy LhaL you do
desperaLely wanL Lo belleve ln. -> 1he dleL-menLallLy has you bellevlng LhaL loslng welghL ls a
paLh Lo becomlng happler and more conLenL wlLhln yourself. 8uL as sLaLed above, Lhe real LruLh
ls Lhe lnverse and opposlLe of LhaL lle. 8ecomlng happler and more conLenL wlLhln yourself ls
Lhe paLh Lo loslng welghL and lasLlng welghL-conLrol. And Lhls ls Lhe cenLral asserLlon of Lhe self-
compasslonaLe mlnd. 1hls ls Lhe honesL and worklng mlndseL LhaL wlll connecL you Lo yourself
agaln vs. Lhe dleL-menLallLy LhaL keeps separaLlng you from yourself.
?our currenL preoccupaLlon wlLh food and dleL becomes Lhe dleL-menLallLy Lake-over of your
consclous agenda. ?ou lose Louch and connecLlon wlLh your deepesL yearnlngs and deslres and
passlons - yearnlngs and passlons you used Lo have before Lhe dleL-menLallLy Look over. And all
of Lhls lllusLraLes [usL how deeply dlsconnecLed you are from yourself. And a dleL and 'dleLlng'
doesn'L resLore Lhese Lhlngs back Lo you - Lhey [usL keep erodlng Lhem ln you. Cnly developlng
and resLorlng Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd ls golng Lo resLore your connecLlon wlLh yourself -
and ln so dolng, puL dleL and dleLlng ln lLs rlghLful place ln Lerms of Lhe aLLenLlon you devoLe Lo
lL, whlch should be far less, noL more.
8uL lf you feel or your dleL has Lhe power Lo make you feel good or bad abouL yourself or your
llfe Lhen you are already ln a negaLlve mlndseL and of course you are under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe

www.scoLLabel.com
27

dleL-menLallLy and all Lhe ramlflcaLlons LhaL go wlLh lL - llke replaclng your auLhenLlc yearnlngs,
deslres and passlons, wlLh LhoughLs and emoLlonal aLLachmenLs Lo dleL, dleLs, dleLlng, nuLrlLlon,
food, welghL-loss, scale-welghL, food-scales and everyLhlng else LhaL keeps separaLlng you from
whaL maLLers - and whaL keeps ob[ecLlfylng your body as someLhlng separaLe from you - raLher
Lhan your body belng an lnLlmaLe componenL of all of who you are.
And ln all of Lhe above you sLarL Lo measure and gauge yourself, [udge yourself, compare
yourself, and compeLe wlLh ldeal lmages LhaL Lell you - Lhls ls whaL you should welgh" - Lhls
ls how you should look" - whlle nelLher of Lhese sLaLemenLs address bow yoo ote sopposeJ to
feel oboot yootself all along Lhe way. So of course ln all of Lhls lL becomes easy Lo undersLand
LhaL you can become obsessed wlLh all Lhe numbers - body-welghL, calorles, dress-slzes, all of
lL. AfLer years and years of Lhls lnfluence you can even develop an obsesslon agalnsL Lhe
obsesslon.
?ou obsess over Lhls or LhaL dleL and lLs lmplemenLaLlon. lL works for a whlle buL Lhe emoLlonal
pressures of lL all exhausLs you ln Lhe process. 8uL because of Lhe emoLlonal aLLachmenLs of Lhe
dleL-menLallLy, you don'L [usL leL lL go and reallze lL doesn'L work. no. lnsLead, you geL hosLlle
Loward Lhe whole Lhlng. Maybe you even acL ouL by eaLlng everyLhlng ln slghL for a whlle. 8uL
Lhls lsn'L leLLlng go of Lhe new found obsesslon of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. lL's [usL an obsesslve
lmpulslve revolL agalnsL lL. 8uL ln LhaL revolL you malnLaln Lhe same level of emoLlonal lnLenslLy
of Lhe dleL-menLallLy LhaL has sLarLed all Lhese lssues Lo begln wlLh. WhaL you seek ls Lhe calm
relaxed energy LhaL should go wlLh any blologlcal survlval lmperaLlve. 8uL you can'L see LhaL
because Lhe emoLlonal aLLachmenLs bullL ln you from Lhe dleL-menLallLy - prevenL you from
belng calm or relaxlng aL all when lL comes Lo all maLLers of dleL, dleLlng and welghL-conLrol.
And lf you [usL Lhlnk ob[ecLlvely abouL Lhls for a momenL, Lhen you know lL Lo be Lrue. And so
Lhe back and forLh emoLlonal lnLenslLy of Lhe dleL-menLallLy conLlnues ln you, and slowly buL
surely your obsesslon wlLh lL all geLs sLronger and sLronger because of your emoLlonal
aLLachmenLs Lo lL. And Lhls [usL exempllfles greaLer cosLs and ramlflcaLlons of your lnvesLmenL
ln Lhe dleL-menLallLy.
8uL no one who obsesses abouL welghL/food and dleL knows whaL lL ls llke Lo llve from a real
and auLhenLlc place of [oy and conLenLmenL. 1he sad lrony of Lhe LhoughL LhaL achlevlng 'Lhln'
or becomlng 'lean' wlll brlng [oy along wlLh lL - creaLes an obsesslon LhaL acLually prevenLs lL.
(!oy, LhaL ls) uleL, food, and Lhe way you eaL should be a llfe-afflrmlng, self-afflrmlng way Lo
connecL wlLh yourself, and wlLh who you are. And lL should do so naLurally and auLomaLlcally. lL
shouldn'L requlre consclous awareness. lL shouldn'L requlre exLreme menLal focus. And lL
cerLalnly shouldn'L requlre or engage lnLenslfled emoLlons. uleL/food/eaLlng should nLvL8 be
Lhe means by whlch you objectlfy yootself, Jlscoooect ftom yootself, joJqe yootself, ot wotst of

www.scoLLabel.com
28

oll, teject ooJ bote yootself. 1here ls no wlnnlng ln LhaL scenarlo no maLLer how much welghL
you may lose ln Lhe shorL-Lerm. Slnce you have Lo eaL and dleL Lo susLaln your own llfe, Lhen
how can any of Lhe words ln lLallcs above, ever empower who you are? 1he cosLs and
consequences of your dleL-menLallLy are slmply Loo hlgh and slmply go agalnsL llvlng and
susLalnlng your llfe ln any reasonable way.
And ln regards Lo Lhe poLenLlal obsesslons Lhe dleL-menLallLy can lnduce ln you, Lhls should noL
be Laken llghLly elLher. 1here are many off-ramps of Lhe poLenLlal Lo form obsesslons because
of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. So leL me be clear here. lf you are obsessed and consumed by LhoughLs of
food - whaL Lo eaL, when Lo eaL, how Lo eaL, how Lo emoLlonally Lake back whaL you [usL aLe (as
ln emoLlonal regreL), when Lo eaL nexL, how Lo hold-off from eaLlng, how Lo curb your appeLlLe,
how Lo reslsL hunger, or any comblnaLlon of Lhese Lhlngs -> Lhen you have an eaLlng dlsorder!
1haL's rlghL, all of Lhese ramlflcaLlons of Lhe dleL-menLallLy are lndlcaLlve of an eaLlng dlsorder.
- Maybe noL under Lhe cllnlcal deflnlLlons of Lhe Lerm, buL cerLalnly under Lhe new more broad-
based headlng of LunCS (LaLlng ulsorders noL CLherwlse Speclfled). ?ou have an eaLlng
dlsorder lf dleL and food negaLlvely lmpacL your llfe and add sLress where naLural calm energy
would usually be. 8ecause Lhe LruLh ls, lf food/eaLlng/welghL/body-lmage are your dally focus
Lhen you llve ln emoLlonal prlson. And only a self-compasslonaLe mlnd ls ever golng Lo seL you
free from LhaL llfe-senLence you've sub[ecLed yourself Lo. ?our dleL-menLallLy ls only golng Lo
make LhaL prlson-experlence, even worse and more emoLlonally lnLenslfled.
?ou need Lo go over Lhls chapLer agaln and conslder all Lhe lles of Lhe dleL-menLallLy LhaL you
have boughL lnLo. ?ou need Lo conslder and reconslder how Lhe ramlflcaLlons of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy are now affecLlng and lmpacLlng your llfe - boLh your lnner llfe, and your ouLer llfe
and Lhe way you llve lL. 8ecause you cannoL adapL Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd, unLll you
unequlvocally declde Lo leL go of Lhe dleL-menLallLy LhaL currenLly has you ln lLs grlp. So Lhe
quesLlon becomes, Are you ready for change?" Are you ready Lo surrender Lhe dleL-menLallLy
once and for all?"

www.scoLLabel.com
29

Chapter 3:
Confus|ng Cause w|th Lffect Under the Inf|uence of the D|et-Menta||ty

As l flnlshed up Lhe lasL chapLer, l made Lhe polnL LhaL maLLers of eaLlng-dlsorders and effecLs
of Lhe dleL-menLallLy could be consldered parL of a conLlnuum and noL as separaLe enLlLles. 1he
new cllnlcal use of Lhe Lerm LunCS (LaLlng ulsorder noL CLherwlse Speclfled) ls expandlng Lhe
noLlon of eaLlng and food lssues because Lhe dleL-menLallLy and Lhe culLure we llve ln are
maklng eaLlng and food lssues far more prevalenL as well. 1he comparlsons of people who are
under Lhe negaLlve lnfluences of Lhe dleL-menLallLy - Lo people wlLh cllnlcally dlagnosed eaLlng
dlsorders ls noL so far aparL aL all. ?ou don'L have Lo be bullmlc Lo be a person who measures
success by whaL you welgh. ?ou don'L have Lo be anorexlc Lo be a person who uses dleL as a
feeble aLLempL aL an llluslon of conLrol ln your llfe. ?ou don'L have Lo be an obese person Lo feel
ashamed of your body's slze and shape - all of Lhese Lhlngs ofLen only dlffer ln maLLers of
degree, buL noL ln klnd. And all of Lhese dlsLorLed emoLlonal facLors are Lhe by-producL of
lnLernallzlng Lhe dleL-menLallLy - Lhe dleL-menLallLy whlch consLanLly confuses cause" wlLh
effecL." And where Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls presenL, Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd ls noL. 8esLorlng
or developlng Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlndseL ls Lhe only remedy from Lhe scourge of your dleL-
menLallLy.
under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe dleL-menLallLy, more ofLen Lhan noL your eaLlng hablLs come wlLh
some klnd of runnlng commenLary ln your head. 1hls commenLary ls also more ofLen Lhan noL
emoLlonally seasoned or lnLenslfled as well. And lf you ldenLlfy wlLh Lhls noLlon Lhen you have a
food/eaLlng lssue, no maLLer how your body may look on Lhe ouLslde. And many of you 'feel'
Lhls ls a worLhy Lrade-off. 8uL LhaL feellng ls Lruly whaL keeps you locked down wlLh an lnLernal
baLLle wlLh yourself, over someLhlng as meanlngless as food and dleL ln your llfe. Cr, aL leasL
whaL should have less emoLlonal meanlng and lmpacL ln your llfe. And Lhls ls noL a healLhy way
Lo llve, even lf you can hlde lL behlnd a normal-looklng body. 1hls sLlll speaks Lo a lack of a
compasslonaLe connecLlon wlLh yourself and your eaLlng hablLs. lf you always conslder Lhe way
you eaL Lo be a form of dleL or dleLlng - Lhen you are llvlng wlLhln Lhe emoLlonal conflnes of Lhe
dleL-menLallLy. 8uL a normal-looklng or healLhy-looklng body should noL be Lhe only goal. A
normal-feellng and healLhy-feellng of Lhe ?Cu llvlng lnslde LhaL body - 1PA1 should be Lhe goal.
And ln facL, your LoLal ldenLlflcaLlon wlLh how you look on Lhe ouLslde wlll ulLlmaLely dlsconnecL
you from how your body Lruly feels on Lhe lnslde. 1hls confuses and confounds Lhe cause and
effecL of how your body ls meanL Lo serve you, and how you should be servlng lL ln reLurn. 1hls

www.scoLLabel.com
30

ls Lhe personal connecLlon you acLually wanL back, now LhaL lL ls losL. And you wlll never be able
Lo flnd LhaL healLhy self-connecLlon wlLhln Lhe dleL-menLallLy mlndseL, no maLLer whaL you
welgh, or how much welghL you lose. 8uL Lhls ls whaL you seek under lLs lnfluence. ?ou [usL
don'L reallze lL's all an llluslon. ?ou don'L geL your empowerlng self-connecLlon back by llvlng ln
Lhe dleL-menLallLy lnfluence or worse, by lnLenslfylng lL. ?ou can only geL your self-connecLlon
back by leLLlng go of Lhe dleL-menLallLy enLlrely. And Lo sLop Lhlnklng LhaL dleL, dleLlng, and
welghL-conLrol are Lhe keys Lo your emoLlonal wellness and salvaLlon. Cnce agaln, Lhls confuses
'cause' wlLh 'effecL.'
1he real LruLh here ls LhaL your physlcal body ls Lhe very groundlng of your exlsLence. 1herefore,
Lhe quesLlon begs, Why are you so eager and so emoLlonally co-operaLlve Lo punlsh lL,
dlmlnlsh lL, dls-splrlL lL, desplse lL, and conLrol lL, by supposedly flxlng" lL?" lL's nC1 broken!
WhaL ls broken ls you're your healLhy connecLlon Lo lL, and how you Lhlnk and feel abouL lL. And
only your self-compasslonaLe mlnd can resLore all of Lhls for you - and ln you.
Cver Llme your dleL-menLallLy ln[ecLs and lnfuses Loo much emoLlon lnLo Lhe food and eaLlng
experlence, and Loo much negaLlve emoLlon aL LhaL. ?ou become an emoLlonal eaLer, [usL noL ln
Lhe way LhaL concepL ls convenLlonally LhoughL of. 8uL Lhere ls a huge prlce Lo pay when
conslsLenLly-helghLened emoLlons become parL of your overall worklng and funcLlonlng
mlndseL. 1hese klnds of emoLlons have lnLense lnfluences you are noL even aware of. So much
lnLenslfled emoLlonal pressure devoLed Lo welghL-loss and welghL-conLrol and dleL, sLarLs Lo
affecL oLher areas of your llfe as well, only you are unaware of lL. Cver-Llme, all Lhls emoLlonal
pressure leads you Lo downplay poslLlve elemenLs of your llfe and your-SLLl, because you
remove self-compasslon from your menLal operaLlng sysLem and replace lL wlLh Lhe dleL-
menLallLy.
8uL self-compasslon ls lLself a form of nuLrlLlon - lL ls a form of splrlLual and soulful nuLrlLlon.
When you replace Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlndseL wlLh Lhe lnLense emoLlonal focus of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy Lhen you sLarL Lo '!""# "%&'(&)*+ ,-)."/0 whlch ls Lhe drlvlng force of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy. 8ear wlLh me here: ?ou creaLe a hunger LhaL ls emoLlonal, because you adapL Lhe
dleL-menLallLy - whlch has as lLs foundaLlon, a helghLened and lnLenslfled emoLlonal emphasls.
8uL you can only adapL Lhe dleL-menLallLy by replaclng Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlndseL -> Lhe
mlndseL responslble for splrlLual and soulful nuLrlLlon. And now you creaLe greaLer emoLlonal
need and greaLer emoLlonal hunger. And Lhe dleL-menLallLy dlcLaLes Lo you LhaL you can meeL
and saLlsfy Lhls hunger wlLh a focus and emphasls on Lhe physlcal maLLer of whaL you eaL. Can
you noL see Lhe human dlsconnecLlon ln LhaL faulLy equaLlon? 1he dlsconnecLlon LhaL once
agaln dlsLorLs, muLaLes and confuses - cause and effecL scenarlos. 1o Lhlnk Lhls emoLlonal
hunger can be meL wlLh an emoLlonal emphasls on dleL and welghL-conLrol ls Lo LreaL 'effecLs'

www.scoLLabel.com
31

raLher Lhan acLual 'causes.' -> Causes LhaL Lhe dleL-menLallLy lLself, seLs ln moLlon. Agaln, only
re-esLabllshlng Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd can re-connecL you and Lherefore saLlsfy Lhe real
and Lrue source of whaL you hunger for.
8ecause when you have so much emoLlonal aLLachmenL lnvesLed ln food and dleL, lL ls nLvL8
golng Lo work ln favor of your welghL-conLrol goal - buL lL wlll lnsLead always work ln favor of
your emoLlonal lmpulses. Look aL lL Lhls way -> CullL and shame and self-[udgmenL/self-
re[ecLlon only feeJ tbe booqet of eaLlng/food/welghL-loss lssues. And no dleL ln Lhe world
solves Lhls problem. ln facL Lhe hunger LhaL dleLlng lnduces, ls more llkely Lo lnLenslfy Lhe
problem. noLlce Lhe phrase ln lLallcs above - 'feeJ tbe booqet.' 1he facL ls when you 'feed a
hunger' you are noL saLlsfylng LhaL hunger, you are nurLurlng and growlng lL, are you noL?
8emember, whaL you feed and nurLure, lL grows. So lf you feed and nurLure self-denlal and self-
deprlvaLlon Lhen you are [usL growlng a menLal and emoLlonal ?Cu LhaL always 'feels' splrlLually
denled and deprlved, doesn'L lL? uon'L you? When you 'feeJ o booqet, you grow LhaL very
hunger LhaL you are Lrylng so hard Lo allevlaLe. 1hls ls Lhe consLanL empLy sLomach of your
splrlLual self. 1hls ls whaL your dleL-menLallLy seLs ln moLlon - an endless supply of emoLlonal
wanL, need, and deslre. And Lhen LhaL same menLallLy leads you Lo belleve, LhaL followlng a
speclflc food reglmen and/or loslng welghL, ls Lhe way Lo quell LhaL hunger. lL's ludlcrous. Cnly a
compasslon for yourself can nurLure and feed LhaL sorL of hunger. unLll Lhen, emoLlons and
emoLlonal lmpulse rule over your raLlonal mlnd.
And Lhen Lhe followlng well-known and well-documenLed paLLerns emerge. When evenLs
happen LhaL can 'provoke' Lhe mosL lnLense emoLlons - you Lend Lo anger-lnward. 1he resulL of
Lhls ls nC1 healLhy emoLlonal 'expresslon' - buL lnsLead unhealLhy emoLlonal 'suppresslon' and
'represslon.' lnsLead of bolllng over Lo an emoLlonal 'exploslon' - Lhere ls a slow and consLanL
slmmerlng of pendlng emoLlonal 'lmploslon.' 1hls manlfesLs lLself on several levels of whaL are
decldedly 'female-cenLrlc' lssues. hyslcally, you manlfesL Lhese lnslde-ouL problems and lssues
as dlgesLlve dlsorders or gasLro-lnLesLlnal problems. 1hese geL convenlenLly dlagnosed as
'nuLrlLlonal lssues' - whlch Lhey surely are nC1 - once agaln confuslng 'cause' wlLh 'effecL.'
1hen, Lhere are Lhe exLernal ouLslde-ln lssues, whlch manlfesL as welghL/eaLlng/dleL/food
lssues. 1hese are also Lhe dlsorders, obsesslons or decepLlons of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. And no dleL
ln Lhe world can solve Lhls, because no dleL ln Lhe world can address lL. lL Lakes place ln Lhe
emoLlonal plane of awareness, noL Lhe physlcal plane of food susLenance. ln facL, Lhe dleL-
menLallLy lLself ls [usL a reflecLlon and a dlsLorLlon of a fundamenLal underlylng emoLlonal
'cause.'
See lf you recognlze yourself ln Lhls cycle LhaL connecLs emoLlonal dlsLress wlLh
eaLlng/food/dleL or welghL lssues and lllusLraLes Lhe confoundlng of 'cause' and 'effecL'

www.scoLLabel.com
32

elemenLs LhaL your dleL-menLallLy seLs ln moLlon. 1) A negaLlve emoLlonal evenL occurs, llke a
flghL wlLh a co-worker, or wlLh a spouse -> 2) 1hls leads Lo an emoLlonally lnfused and
emoLlonally conLamlnaLed LhoughL, llke l can'L Lake Lhls crap" or l can'L deal wlLh Lhls rlghL
now." -> 3) 1hls leads Lo negaLlve emoLlonally conLamlnaLed feellngs as well, such as gullL,
anger, anxleLy, fear, or frusLraLlon -> 4) 1hls leads Lo counLer-lnLulLlve buL emoLlonally-lnfused
'LacLlcal' cholces - Lo dlsLracL, avold, counLer-acL or numb Lhe negaLlve emoLlon. 1herefore, you
over-eaL, or lndulge, or splurge, or blnge or dleL more lnLensely, as means Lo self-negoLlaLe
Lhese emoLlonally-lnfused LhoughLs. -> S) 1hls leads Lo a shorL-Lerm sense of emoLlonal 'rellef
and release' and also a sense of conLrol, only lL's noL real, ls lL? And noL only LhaL, buL now
you've seL ln moLlon an emoLlonal paLLern Lo respond Lo emoLlon, noL by conLrolllng lmpulse,
buL by lndulglng lL. -> 6) 1hls leads Lo negaLlve consequences, emoLlonally, menLally and
splrlLually. 1he eaLlng/dleL LacLlc Lo counLeracL negaLlve emoLlon now pro[ecLs LhaL emoLlon on
Lo eaLlng and dleL and welghL-conLrol behavlors, doesn'L lL? now, your negaLlve emoLlonally-
lnfused emphasls ls on welghL-conLrol, worrylng abouL your dleL or eaLlng behavlor LhaL you
[usL saboLaged because of Lhe lnlLlal emoLlonally Lrlggerlng evenL. 8uL Lhen, as emoLlons Loward
Lhe Lrlggerlng evenL calm down you reallze LhaL -> 7) Lhe problem ls sLlll noL solved, and your
emoLlons abouL Lhe slLuaLlon are noL solved elLher. And Lhen, Lhls raLlonal reallzaLlon leads you
rlghL back Lo polnL number 2) above - l coot Jeol wltb tbls tlqbt oow" - and Lhen lL all beglns
agaln. 1hls ls how Lhe dleL-menLallLy can form LenLacles and splder-leg Lype of ramlflcaLlons
LhaL sLarL Lo lnfllLraLe and lmpacL many oLher areas and arenas of your llfe. 1hls once agaln
lllusLraLes how your dleL-menLallLy focuses lLself on effects" raLher Lhan on Lhe cooses" LhaL lL
lLself, seLs ln moLlon.
So whaL may have sLarLed ouL as a healLhy premlse based on self-compasslon evenLually
becomes someLhlng else LhaL Lakes on a llfe of lLs own. ?ou begln wlLh a goal Lo lose some
welghL and conLrol your welghL - and you begln Lhls goal wlLh a healLhy sense of personal
vanlLy because your mlndseL of self-compasslon ls sLlll fully lnLacL, and probably whaL seL Lhe
healLhy goal ln moLlon Lo begln wlLh. 8uL Lhen Lhe dleL-menLallLy Lakes over and sLarLs
dlsLorLlng cause and effecL menLal and emoLlonal relaLlonshlps you have lnslde yourself.
LvenLually Lhe dleL-menLallLy replaces Lhe self-compasslon mlndseL. Cver Llme Lhe heavy
emoLlonal lnfuslon of Lhe dleL-menLallLy, leads Lo a mlndseL of heavy emoLlonal lnfuslon for
everyLhlng else as well. Consclously or unconsclously, you sLarL uslng food and dleL as a means
Lo reflecL, deflecL, pro[ecL, or oLherwlse 'conLrol' a dlfflculL or palnful negaLlve slLuaLlon -
because you become emoLlonally lnfused Lo every LhoughL and scenarlo. Cver Llme, dleL, food,
welghL-loss, welghL-conLrol and body-welghL - Lhese Lhlngs Lhemselves become Lhe dlfflculL
and palnful emoLlonal slLuaLlons you are Lrylng Lo 'deal' wlLh. So now, Lhere are '1&
2(%-+'*)"&-2 emoLlonal cause and effecL lssues for you Lo sLruggle wlLh - lnsLead of Lhe lnlLlal

www.scoLLabel.com
33

&)". 1hls ls exacLly how Lhe dleL-menLallLy lnfllLraLes Lhe mlnd and evenLually Lakes lL over, and
all Lhe whlle dlsLorLs and confuses cause" and effecL" relaLlonshlps wlLhln your menLal and
emoLlonal realms of awareness. (lor more on Lhese Lypes of speclflc lood and LaLlng lssues, l
refer you Lo my book - Iood Issues and ou - I|na||y Iac|ng our hantom Menace
hLLp://blL.ly/uLavWu)
...
Cn Lhe oLher slde of Lhls equaLlon are all Lhe ways and means Lhe dleL-menLallLy confounds Lhe
way you Lhlnk abouL your own food rules. ln Lerms of healLhy eaLlng ln order Lo be a healLhy
person, Lhere ls noLhlng necessarlly wrong wlLh adapLlng food rules Lo ablde ln and llve by.
Powever, Lhe dleL-menLallLy lnfuses your food rules wlLh a heavy emoLlonal emphasls - and Lhls
leads Lo an experlence of menLal and emoLlonal 'pressure' on you. Moreover, Lhls heavy
emoLlonal emphasls ls skewed Loward lncllnaLlons LhaL are unnaLural Lo you as a human belng.
When your food rules are abouL deprlvaLlon and denlal - and emoLlonal aLLachmenLs Lo
deprlvaLlon and denlal, you wlll fall. ?ou wlll fall aL your aLLempLs aL dleLlng - you wlll fall aL
your aLLempLs for welghL-loss and mosL lmporLanLly you wlll fall aL your long-Lerm efforLs Lo
susLaln any klnd of lasLlng welghL-conLrol - aL leasL noL wlLhouL heavy emoLlonal pressure. And
Lhe Lrue goal of long-Lerm susLalnable welghL-conLrol ls Lo leL go of heavy emoLlonal pressures
of dleLlng and body-welghL - noL Lo carry Lhem around wlLh you for decades llke oLher
unwanLed emoLlonal baggage. Puman belngs slmply are noL wlred for emoLlonal self-denlal and
self-deprlvaLlon. And yeL, Lhls ls exacLly whaL Lhe dleL-menLallLy mandaLes LhaL you adapL.
lnsLead, your food rules need Lo be based ln your own compasslonaLe sense of self-help - less
Lo do wlLh food, and more Lo do wlLh self-connecLlon.
Self-deprlvaLlon connecLs you Lo a range of negaLlve emoLlons and evenLually you wlll wanL Lo
break free from Lhem - especlally when Lhese are lnLenslfled wlLhln Lhe dleL-menLallLy lLself. 1o
geL Lo Lhls polnL of wanLlng Lo be free of heavy emoLlonal pressures abouL dleLlng or welghL - ls
nC1 personal weakness, as your dleL-menLallLy would have you belleve. no - lL's a naLural
lnsLlncL and procllvlLy Lo wanL Lo be carefree ln regards Lo emoLlonal burdens Lhe dleL-menLallLy
puLs on you. ln facL Lhe dleL-menLallLy has you bellevlng LhaL 'care-free' ls Lhe same as 'care-
less' and once agaln Lhls confuses and confounds Lhe whole emoLlonal emphasls of Lhe dleLlng
experlence. none of Lhls lnLenslfled emoLlonal pressure added Lo dleLlng and welghL-conLrol ls
naLural Lo human experlence or human psychology. (l wlll be addresslng Lhls ln a laLer secLlon)
8uL Lhe ldea of self-deprlvaLlon expressed and relnforced by Lhe dleL-menLallLy - along wlLh lLs
lnLenslfled emoLlonal pressures - ls whaL ls wrong - preclsely because lL goes agalnsL human
naLure. lood rules, as we wlll dlscuss ln a laLer chapLer - are meanL Lo gulde you wlLh and

www.scoLLabel.com
34

Loward empowerlng cholces LhaL enhance you and enhance your well-belng. lood rules, should
noL ever be used Lo deprlve, deny, punlsh, or self-lncrlmlnaLe by emoLlonal [udgmenL.
8uL once you adapL Lhe dleL-menLallLy Lhen you need Lo Lake noLlce of Lhls old and worn maxlm
- wbeo yoo olwoys Jo wbot yoove olwoys Jooe, tbeo yoo wlll olwoys qet wbot yoove olwoys
qot." So, wlLh LhaL ln mlnd, and along wlLh everyLhlng argued above - whaL do you Lhlnk Lhe
resulL of your nexL dleL-aLLempL ls golng Lo be? Cnce agaln, you are looklng ln Lhe wrong place
for Lhe soluLlon for long-Lerm welghL-conLrol. ?ou are once agaln, addresslng 'effecLs' and
confuslng Lhem wlLh 'causes.'
8ecause the d|et-menta||ty cont|nua||y re|nforces |n you, and emot|ona||y re|nforces |n you -
that body-we|ght |s re|ated to what you eat and v|ce versa. 8uL Lhese Lwo Lhlngs are ln facL
boLh 'effecLs' and noL 'causes.' And when you keep focuslng on effecLs, Lhen you wlll never be
able Lo change or alLer Lhe acLual causes. And lL's Lhe dleL-menLallLy and LhoughL process
behlnd lL LhaL requlres change. And 1he lrench aradox provldes subsLanLlal conLradlcLory
evldence Lo Lhe bolded and unLrue sLaLemenL above. l Lalk abouL 1he lrench aradox a loL ln
my nuLrlLlon books and lecLures. 1ruLh be Lold, 1he lrench aradox ls really no paradox aL all -
buL ln facL lllusLraLes many LruLhs of Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlndseL and how lL equaLes Lo
welghL-conLrol. lor readers who may noL know whaL 1he lrench aradox ls - lL ls a Lerm
denoLlng Lhe facL LhaL Lhe lrench eaL very rlch foods, Lhey en[oy alcohol aL meals, Lhey smoke,
and Lhey don'L counL calorles. ln shorL, Lhe LradlLlonal lrench populaLlon eaLs and llves ln a way
norLh Amerlcans are Lold ls compleLely unhealLhy and wlll lead Lo an early grave. And yeL, Lhe
lrench are hearL healLhler, llve longer and are noL by and large chronlcally overwelghL, as are
Lhelr norLh Amerlcan counLerparLs. So, where ls Lhe paradox? lf all Lhe food rules you were Lold
Lo adapL Lo lose or conLrol welghL here ln norLh Amerlca were Lrue - Lhen lL should be people
of Lhe lrench culLure who are overwelghL, can'L conLrol Lhelr welghL, have Lhe mosL cardlac
lssues, and dle younger. And yeL, Lhe opposlLe remalns Lrue.
And Lhe reason lL remalns Lrue ls LhaL Lhe lrench have never adapLed Lhe dleL-menLallLy. 1hey
do noL llve by Lhe eaL Lhls, noL LhaL" dlcLaLes of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. 1hey remaln self-connecLed
Lo Lhelr bodles and Lhe [oys of food. lnsLead of a heavy emoLlonal emphasls on dleL for welghL-
conLrol - Lhe lrench have a llghL-hearLed (pun lnLended) and non-emoLlonal pressure aLLached
Lo any food. Whlle Lhe norLh Amerlcan dleL-menLallLy heavlly emphaslzes Lo be care-full over
whaL you eaL - Lhe lrench rlghLfully engage Lhe mlndseL Lo en[oy and be care-free abouL Lhe
blologlcal lmperaLlve of eaLlng! And yeL ln splLe of all Lhe educaLlon LhaL Lhe lrench aradox can
Leach abouL a healLhy mlndseL of welghL-conLrol - Lhe norLh Amerlcan dleL-menLallLy sLlll
prevalls. And yeL, Lhe norLh Amerlcan sLruggle wlLh welghL-conLrol conLlnues rlghL along wlLh lL.

www.scoLLabel.com
3S

And Lhls wlll conLlnue for Lhe culLure and for Lhe lndlvldual as long as you keep allowlng Lhe
dleL-menLallLy Lo confuse fundamenLal 'cause' and 'effecL' lssues abouL dleL, dleLlng, and
welghL-conLrol. As a human belng, you are slmply noL hard-wlred Lo aLLach heavy and/or
negaLlve emoLlonal pressure Lo Lhe process of feedlng yourself. no oLher anlmal on Lhe planeL
does so - buL Lhe mosL lnLelllgenL anlmal on Lhe planeL does. 1hls ls Lhe acLual 'paradox' lf Lhere
ls one. So leL's examlne Lhe whole dleL-menLallLy of confuslng 'cause' wlLh 'effecL' a llLLle closer.
LeL's use a quesLlon and answer scenarlo LhaL sLrlkes rlghL aL Lhe hearL of Lhls whole lssue of
cause and effecL. Popefully you can see for yourself how upslde down your own dleL-menLallLy
ls, ls Lerms of Lrue 'cause' and 'effecL' menLal consLrucLs.
..
Confuslng LffecL wlLh Cause - Lhls ls Lhe dellberaLe mandaLe of Lhe dleL and welghL-loss
lndusLrles. 1hls ls Lhe dleL-menLallLy". LeL's examlne how backward Lhls ls and see lf any of Lhls
ls someLhlng you ldenLlfy wlLh - noLlce all Lhe answers below (ln red) deal wlLh effecLs" noL
causes" - noL Llll Lhe flnal answer.
Why do you dleL?
Answer - Lo lose or conLrol welghL?
And why do you wanL Lo lose or conLrol your welghL?
Answer - Lo look beLLer
And why do you wanL Lo look beLLer?
Answer - Lo feel beLLer abouL myself
And whaL would happen lf you felL beLLer abouL yourself?
Answer - l would be more empowered
And whaL would be Lhe resulL of belng more empowered?
Answer - l would flnd myself and be myself agaln
And whaL would be Lhe resulL of flndlng yourself and belng yourself agaln?
Answer - l could leL go of worrylng and sLresslng over how l look, whaL l welgh, and whaL l eaL -
and l'd be free.

www.scoLLabel.com
36

Can you noL see how LauLologlcal Lhe above dleL-menLallLy argumenL ls? ?ou can never leL go
and be free of worrylng and sLresslng over your welghL once you adapL Lhe dleL-menLallLy -
because 1nA1 l5 Lhe focus of Lhe dleL-menLallLy! So, lf Lhls ls compleLely upslde down/backward
Lo Lhe LruLh - lf Lhe LruLh ls Lhe exacL opposlLe of LhaL Lhlnklng - whaL lf you sLopped focuslng
on effects" and undersLood acLual cooses" - Lhen you would see Lhls scenarlo play ouL
lnsLead.
- WhaL lf, when you 'leL go' of your emoLlonal aLLachmenL Lo how you look, whaL you welgh and
whaL you eaL - whaL lf - 1PA1 ls whaL leads you Lo feellng and belng more empowered. And
whaL lf - once you become empowered, you would feel beLLer abouL yourself. And whaL lf -
feellng beLLer abouL yourself th|s way lnsplres you Lo look beLLer by belng beLLer? And whaL lf -
now, by belng lnsplred Lo look beLLer, because you feel beLLer - Lhen you can now easlly conLrol
or lose welghL. 1hen lsn'L lL Lrue once you lose and conLrol welghL Lhls way, Lhen you don'L see
a dleL, as a dleL? And lsn'L Lhls how you would Lhlnk 'naLurally' lf you remalned connecLed wlLh
your body Lo begln wlLh, and looked aL your body Lhrough Lhe proper lens of Lhe self-
compasslonaLe mlnd - and noL Lhe skewed lens of Lhe dleL-menLallLy?
1herefore can you noL undersLand how backward lL all ls - LhaL has you Lhlnklng LhaL lL sLarLs
wlLh a dleL" - ?ou sLarL a dleL by worry|ng and stress|ng over what you we|gh, how you |ook,
and what you eat - and Lhen you really expecL Lhe flnal resulL of a dleL" wlll lead you away
from LhaL Lhlnklng? lsn'L Lhls exacLly how you lose yourself Lo begln wlLh?
lsn'L LhaL Lhe problem Lo begln wlLh? When you follow Lhe lnlLlal quesLlon and answer
sequence above, whlch sLarLs wlLh a dleL for Lhe wrong reasons, you only LreaL effecLs" - noL
causes. 1he real cause ls how you feel abouL yourself - and whaL you lack, whlch ls
empowermenL.
1hls ls how Lhe welghL-loss lndusLrles wanL you Lo Lhlnk. lL keeps you Lrapped ln always Lrylng
Lo flnd freedom and empowermenL from exLernal sources. 8uL Lrue empowermenL comes from
wlLhln, noL wlLhouL.
llndlng and exerclslng LmpowermenL doesn'L end wlLh you evenLually leLLlng go of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy" once you lose a cerLaln amounL of welghL. - lL starts Lhere, wlLh you leLLlng go of Lhe
dleL-menLallLy regardless of where your currenL body-welghL may be!
1he real LruLh LhaL you know naLurally lf your self-compasslonaLe mlnd ls lnLacL - ls LhaL your
own body ls a greaL and vlLal source of lnformaLlon lf you [usL allow lL Lo be - lf you learn Lo
sLop [udglng yourself and Lhen sLarL belng able Lo LrusL Lhe lnformaLlon your body glves you.
1hls ls whaL lL means Lo be self-compasslonaLe. And Lhls ls Lhe acLual paLh Lo self-

www.scoLLabel.com
37

empowermenL as well. ?ou don'L have a dleL" lssue. ?ou have a Lhlnklng lssue abouL dleLlng.
And you have LhaL lssue because you lnadverLenLly adapL Lhe dleL-menLallLy - and LhaL dleL-
menLallLy dlsLorLs and confuses 'causes' wlLh 'effecLs.'

www.scoLLabel.com
38

Chapter 4
Cut||n|ng the Se|f-Compass|onate M|nd

(Source: . CllberL, 1he CompasslonaLe Mlnd. 2009)

.....
8efore we really begln Lhe essenLlal argumenL of Lhls chapLer lL's lmporLanL Lo famlllarlze
yourself wlLh Lhe Lwo dlagrams above. noLlce LhaL Lhe 'nucleus' or 'core' of each mlndseL ls
whaL feeds lLs speclflc appendages. And noLlce Lhe appendages, Lhese Lalklng polnLs of each
separaLe mlndseL are exacLly Lhe same. ln oLher words, whaL ls aL Lhe core" of your operaLlng
sysLem - Lhe core of Lhe fllLerlng sysLem of your mlndseL - ls whaL ls golng Lo shape how you
Lhlnk, feel, and behave because of LhaL mlndseL. WheLher your operaLlng sysLem ls Lhe dleL-
menLallLy or Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd - elLher of Lhese wlll 'generaLe' speclflc ways of
feellng, Lhlnklng, and acLlng wlLhln Lhem. And where one ls presenL as Lhe nucleus of your
mlndseL/operaLlng sysLem, Lhe oLher one cannoL be.
up Lo now Lhe mlsLake mosL of you make ls LhaL you Lhlnk of dleL-menLallLy or self-
compasslonaLe mlnd as parL of Lhe appendages you see above. ?ou do noL undersLand Lhem as
Lhe core nucleus and operaLlng sysLems LhaL affecL Lhese oLher 'appendages' of your exlsLence.
And a person under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe operaLlng sysLem of Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls golng Lo
generaLe a compleLely dlfferenL level of raLlonal and emoLlonal experlence Lhan Lhe person
operaLlng under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd. Agaln, Lake a good look aL Lhese

www.scoLLabel.com
39

Lwo dlsLlncL operaLlng sysLems of Lhe mlnd - and agaln, noLlce how Lhelr LenLacles reach and
affecL Lhe exacL same parameLers of your day Lo day exlsLence - buL wlLh a quallLaLlvely dlsLlncL
and separaLe ouLcome from each. And Lhls ls whaL we are golng Lo dlve lnLo wlLhln Lhls chapLer.
...
undersLandlng your relaLlonshlp wlLh food and dleL requlres undersLandlng your relaLlonshlp
wlLh yourself and who you are - and all Lhe many faceLs of your llfe and how Lhey lnLeracL and
lnLersecL. (Cnce agaln Lake a look aL Lhe dlagram and Lhlnk abouL Lhls lasL senLence for a
mlnuLe.) As you can see, wheLher your operaLlng sysLem ls Lhe dleL-menLallLy or Lhe self-
compasslonaLe mlndseL - A sLudy of nuLrlLlon and dleLs ls golng Lo be useless for Lhls klnd of
personal undersLandlng of how all Lhese elemenLs are connecLed. ln facL, sLudylng nuLrlLlon and
dleLs can ofLen Lake you even furLher away from whaL you Lruly need Lo learn and connecL wlLh
abouL yourself ln order Lo eradlcaLe welghL-conLrol lssues. And as you can clearly see ln Lhe
dlagram above, where you need Lo begln ls wlLh your own llfe. SLarL by connecLlng your
LhoughLs wlLh your experlences, and your experlences wlLh your LhoughLs. - ln relaLlon Lo 'how'
you eaL, and 'why' you eaL. And for Lhe Llme-belng, leave Lhe [udgmenLal elemenL of 'whaL' you
eaL - ouL of Lhe equaLlon enLlrely. And lf you are sLrong enough, Lhen l would suggesL you
forgeL abouL 'whaL' you eaL behavlorally as well for now. !usL examlne your operaLlng sysLem of
Lhe dleL-menLallLy, and by examlnlng Lhe dlagram above, look agaln aL all Lhe 'branches of your
exlsLence' LhaL lL exLends Lo.
lf you sLarL Lo Lhlnk 'raLlonally' from Lhere, you can see all Lhe lrraLlonal lnconslsLencles and
emoLlonal conLaglons of Lhe dleL-menLallLy LhaL affecL you on boLh a consclous and sub-
consclous level. lor lnsLance, you say you accepL Lhe noLlon of Lhe 'healLhy llfesLyle', buL you
sLlll buy lnLo Lhe hype of poLlons, pllls, and lndusLry buzzwords llke rapld", fasL", easy", and
secreL." And lf you look Lo Lhe dlagram you wlll see Lhe LruLh ls LhaL Lhese words are used
purposely Lo caLer Lo your lnfanLlle Lgo and your dleL-menLallLy - as you conLlnue looklng for
ways Lo clrcumvenL whaL you know ls Lruly requlred from you ln maLLers of welghL-loss and
welghL-conLrol. All Lhese words are assoclaLed wlLh 'resulLs' and wlLh 'ouLcomes.' And so ls Lhe
dleL-menLallLy. 8uL Lhe real and Lrue and acLual key componenL Lo healLhy welghL-conLrol ls
processed-focused - noL ouLcome-focused. lurLhermore, Lhe key componenL Lo healLhy long-
Lerm welghL-conLrol ls 'conslsLency' of process, and a process of conslsLency. And Lhls has
noLhlng Lo do wlLh 'ouLcomes.' PealLhy and conLrollable welghL ls a by-producL of a conslsLenL
llfesLyle. And lL ls a conslsLenL llfesLyle LhaL locloJes a conslsLenL consumpLlon of relaLlve
calorles deflclLs, yes - buL Lhls musL also lnclude foods you llke and en[oy - or LhaL you can learn
Lo llke and en[oy. WhaL makes a dleL conslsLenL ls LhaL lL musL 1) serve Lhe body, and 2) lL musL
be susLalnable. And only a self-compasslonaLe mlndseL ls golng Lo make Lhese elemenLs of

www.scoLLabel.com
40

conslsLency a prlorlLy. 8ecause Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlndseL undersLands all of Lhls ls an
ongolng process - Lhere ls no end-polnL Lo shooL for, or Lo arrlve aL. 1he healLhy llfesLyle
mlndseL, Lhen, musL also be reflecLed ln Lhe noLlon of a healLhy body welghL belng Lhe focus -
and noL some sllly noLlon of focus on 'ldeal' bodywelghL - whaLever LhaL mlsapplled Lerm even
means?
8uL under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe operaLlng sysLem of Lhe dleL-menLallLy, Lhe heavlly emphaslzed
and lrraLlonal emoLlonal realm keeps you locked lnLo Lhlnklng/feellng abouL ouLcomes, raLher
Lhan raLlonally [usL conslderlng a healLhy and susLalnable process for ongolng welghL-conLrol.
lor lnsLance, aL a symposlum l once heard an experL say LhaL lf yoo Joot emotlooolly booJle
yoot love of fooJ, tbeo yoo wlll sotely exblblt tbe tesoltloq love booJles becoose of lt." And as
clever as Lhls sLaLemenL may seem, look aL whaL lL does. lL keeps you locked lnLo Lhe
emoLlonally lnLenslfled aLLachmenLs Lo your welghL, and Lo dleL and food and welghL-conLrol.
1he sLaLemenL uses a 'raLlonal' sLaLemenL Lo engender ln you an emoLlonal response. 1hls
caLers preclsely Lo your dleL-menLallLy and Lhe fear-mongerlng wlLhln lL. And lL ls Lhe exacL
naLure of Lhls fear-mongerlng, whlch over and over Lrles Lo dlsconnecL you from your food
experlence - or dlsconnecL you from a poslLlve food experlence. 8uL Lhe self-compasslonaLe
mlnd does Lhe opposlLe. lL doesn'L lnLenslfy emoLlons connecLed Lo welghL-conLrol. A
compasslonaLe mlnd ls a calm one. 1he self-compasslonaLe mlnd Leaches you LhaL your
emoLlonal connecLlons wlLh yourself are 'teloteJ' Lo Lhe food and eaLlng experlence, buL noL
dlcLaLed by lL. ?ou are noL emoLlonally connecL by" food - or Lo" food - any more Lhan you
could be emoLlonally connecLed Lo your moblle phone. And lL ls Lhls level of connecLlon LhaL Lhe
dleL-menLallLy separaLes you from and confuses you abouL. When you reconnecL Lhls
separaLlon, and do so wlLh Lhe self-compasslonaLe operaLlng sysLem, you wlll reclalm a healLhy
and vlLal mlndseL for eaLlng awareness and self-connecLlon. (We wlll be examlnlng whaL Lhls
emoLlonal connecLlon ls Lo Lhe eaLlng experlence, ln Lhe nexL chapLer).
Moreover, Lhls wlLLy 'love booJles' qulp above, ls also facLually ln error. lL clalms you have Lo
conLrol your love of food. And Lhls ls noL whaL research shows. Cnce agaln, ln examlnlng 1he
lrench aradox, whaL we wlLness ls LhaL Lhe lrench love food very much. 1hey are self-
connecLed wlLhln Lhe process of eaLlng. 1he LruLh lllusLraLed by Lhe research can be puL Lhls
way. wblle tbe lteocb eojoy o love of fooJ - tbelt Nottb Ametlcoo coootet-potts covet o love of
eotloq." 1hese are enLlrely dlfferenL mlndseLs operaLlng here. So Lhe 'love handles' wlLLlclsm
above acLually demonsLraLes an error of faulLy Lhlnklng and Lhe dlsconnecLlon of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy. WhaL you need Lo 'conLrol' ls noL a love of food. ln facL, you may need Lo be LaughL
how Lo reconnecL Lo noL belng afrald of lL. WhaL you need Lo conLrol ls Lhe dlsconnecLed
elemenL of Lhe acL of eaLlng - Lhe food experlence, lf you wlll.

www.scoLLabel.com
41

And aL some polnL, Lhe dleL-menLallLy and all Lhe concerns over your welghL and appearance
LhaL lL generaLes - slmply dlsLorLs your own lnner compass. ?ou geL so wrapped up ln whaL you
Lhlnk you can do 'Lo' your body - LhaL you forgeL whaL you should be dolng 'for' your body. And
Lhe mandaLe Lo Lake care of whaL you should be dolng 'for' your body should never change.
?our alm should be Lo provlde for your body, so LhaL your body can provlde for you. And ln
conslderaLlon of Lhe dlagram aL Lhe beglnnlng of Lhe chapLer, noLe LhaL Lhe world 'ptovlJe' ls
Lhe opposlLe of Lhe word 'Jeoy.'
Moreover, your body and your welghL are noL Lhe same Lhlng, alLhough your dleL-menLallLy has
you blendlng Lhe Lwo of Lhem LogeLher. lL's noL abouL accepLlng your welghL as Lhe dleL-
menLallLy wanLs you Lo belleve and ampllfy your emoLlons over. 8uL lL should be abouL
accepLlng your body. lf you care abouL yourself Lhen you should be able Lo care 'for' yourself as
well. And Lhls means lovlng your body, noL haLlng lL and noL seelng lL as noL 'good enough.' And
only a self-compasslonaLe mlnd ls golng Lo allow you Lo do LhaL. ?ou don'L accepL your body by
condlLlonally only accepLlng lL once lL geLs Lo a cerLaln welghL. 1haL would be llke saylng you wlll
only emoLlonally accepL your chlld once Lhey geL Lo a cerLaln age or helghL. 1he 'accepLance' ls
Lhe consLanL" noL Lhe varlanL - buL Lhe dleL-menLallLy Lurns your self-accepLance lnLo a
'varlanL' raLher Lhan a 'consLanL.' So Lhe dleL-menLallLy becomes a cenLral ouLslde-ln focus of
how you see and feel abouL yourself. 1hls Lhen becomes a consLanL relnforcemenL of a baLLle of
dleL, welghL, and body-lmage - and always on Lhe slde of dlssaLlsfacLlon supposedly worklng
Loward conLenLmenL. And ln Lhls equaLlon, you sacrlflce culLlvaLlng and enrlchlng your soul -
you sacrlflce culLlvaLlng and enrlchlng Lhe frlendshlp and relaLlonshlp you can have wlLh
yourself. And Lhese are all Lhlngs whlch wlll ouLlasL your exLernal packaglng. 1hls ls whaL Lhe
dleL-menLallLy robs from you. And Lhls ls Lhe Lrue source of your paln abouL yourself. ?ou [usL
'feel' lL's abouL your welghL. ?ou geL so wrapped up ln Lhe dleL-menLallLy you never really
dlscover who you are beyond your exLernal appearance. Lven a successful dleL-aLLempL ls noL
golng Lo remedy Lhls klnd of psychlc dlsconnecLlon.
1he soluLlon ls Lhe developmenL of Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlndseL. And once you develop Lhls,
Lhen as lL sLrengLhens - food and dleL and welghL-conLrol fall lnLo place and become non-lssues
and non-sLruggles - as Lhey should be. 1he menLal and emoLlonal blocks LhaL resulL from
adapLlng Lhe dleL-menLallLy prevenL you from flndlng ouL or belng who you really are, and Lhls
ls unforLunaLe. 8ecause when you connecL Lo who you really are, you easlly leL go of food-
obsesslon and chronlc dleLlng aLLempLs." WelghL-conLrol becomes someLhlng else enLlrely and
no longer a 'measure' of who you are.
AnoLher slgn of belng conLrolled by Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls Lhe consLanL emoLlonal roller coasLer
of your dleL-pracLlce becomlng an emoLlonally up and down process. 1here ls no real and Lrue

www.scoLLabel.com
42

calm ln Lhe process of feedlng yourself. Powever, when dleLlng - as ln feedlng yourself - wlLh a
mlndseL of self-compasslon and self-accepLance, Lhere are no up and down emoLlonal
aLLachmenLs -lL all [usL 'ls.' lurLhermore, when you are under Lhe dlsconnecLlng lnfluence of
Lhe dleL-menLallLy you consclously or sub-consclously succumb Lo Lhe numbers on Lhe
baLhroom scale deLermlnlng your emoLlonal sLaLe of mlnd - always reacLlve wlLh emoLlon -
never proacLlve wlLh self-deLermlnlng personal compasslon. And Lhls ls [usL a reflecLlon of your
own dlsconnecLlon. 1he reasons why Lhls musL all lnevlLably fall should seem obvlous when
lllumlnaLed Lhls way.
So ln place of self-compasslon, you now have self-crlLlclsm, and Lhls ls someLhlng you can
measure and gauge wlLh Lhe baLhroom scale and all oLher klnds of numbers, llke dress slzes,
calorles, and many oLher Lools of Lhe Lrade LhaL now become means for personal [udgmenL and
crlLlclsm. Self-crlLlclsm ls based ln fear and anger and anLagonlsm Loward yourself - mosLly
based on exLernal appearance. So lL's no wonder you become exhausLed. 8uL self-compasslon ls
based ln supporL and klndness and cooperaLlon (as ln menLal and emoLlonal energy realms
comlng LogeLher). ln essence self-crlLlclsm ls d|scouraglng, whlle self-compasslon ls
encouraglng. And 'courage' ls Lhe LralL mosL necessary Lo overcome any lssue - ln Lhls case,
welghL conLrol. 1herefore, Lhls ls noL a 'dleL-equaLlon' - lL's a 'characLer-equaLlon.' When you
keep worklng from Lhe mlndseL of self-crlLlclsm of Lhe dleL-menLallLy, you are exerclslng
d|scouragemenL. LvenLually, Lhls wlll leave you psychologlcally exhausLed. 1hls varlable Lakes
place ln Lhe emoLlonal plane. 8uL ln Lhe menLal plane your dleL-menLallLy conLlnues Lo mlslead
you lnLo Lhlnklng LhaL your welghL-conLrol lssue ls an exLernal lssue of a 'dleL-equaLlon.' And Lhe
lnevlLable repeaLed fallures of Lhls wlll also leave you psychologlcally exhausLed.
?ou are only golng Lo be free of Lhe dleL-menLallLy and Lherefore Lruly free when your llfe ls noL
deflned and [udged every day as good or bad, based on whaL you eaL or don'L eaL. As a maLLer
of facL, when whaL you eaL or don'L eaL becomes of llLLle lmporLance Lo you, and occuples less
and less of your emoLlonal aLLenLlon-focus - CnL? 1PLn are you free Lo flnd yourself and Lo be
yourself. And whaL ls unforLunaLe ls LhaL once you adapL and lnLernallze Lhe dleL-menLallLy, you
Lend Lo lose boLh Lhese Lhlngs - flndlng yourself and belng yourself. And Lhls ls whaL you are
acLually seeklng Lo resLore - you are noL seeklng Lo flnd a resulL ln 'dleL-success' alLhough Lhe
dleL-menLallLy leads you Lo bellevlng LhaL. All lL can ever lead Lo ls Lhe endless measurlng of
yourself by exLernal appearances whlle Lhe whole Llme wanLlng Lo feel a connecLlon wlLh
yourself LhaL you have losL. An emall from a cllenL lllusLraLes my polnL. 1hls ls a cllenL who has
been on and off dleLs and dleLlng for more Lhan Lwo decades. She has compeLed ln physlque
conLesL, run half-maraLhons, and ls always wanLlng Lo gauge and measure herself by Lhese
klnds of exLernal sLandards.

www.scoLLabel.com
43

ScoLL
l need Lo look aL Lhls ln Lerms of pros and cons because rlghL now all l can see ls Lhe downslde lf
l sLopped dolng all Lhese Lhlngs

ro's:
l losL welghL, for awhlle
l accompllshed someLhlng l never LhoughL l could do runnlng ln a race and compeLlng ln a show
l felL sLrong
l llked Lhe way l looked and Lhe aLLenLlon l goL

noLe: - noLlce how all Lhe above are wrlLLen ln pasL Lense

Con's
l frled my Lhyrold and have Lo now Lake medlcaLlon forever
My blnge-eaLlng became overwhelmlng
l goL scared Lo eaL "bad food"
l felL lsolaLed from frlends and famlly
My noLlon of feellng sLrong lasLed for a whlle followed by exLreme exhausLlon
l puL compeLlng ln a show and dolng a race ahead of my healLh, famlly and frlends
l galned all Lhe welghL back qulckly almosL overnlghL
And Lhen of course, l felL ashamed of whaL l had done Lo myself
And all Lhe aLLenLlon l goL whlle dolng Lhls wenL away afLer Lhe show and afLer puLLlng on
welghL agaln.

So here lL ls -> Lhe cons are blg and makes me reallze once agaln LhaL Lhls was noL a good way
Lo "beLLer myself" or Challenge myself.

1hls emall above ls lndlcaLlve of many of Lhe klnds of emalls l recelve. And lL lllusLraLes Lhe
argumenL of Lhls chapLer. ?ou can see how Lhe dleL-menLallLy Look over her mlndseL Lo Lhe
polnL where all Lhe ways and means she could 'feel' rewarded, all had Lo do wlLh exLernal
appearances, llke welghL-loss, and Lhe aLLenLlon she recelved for lL. noLlce also LhaL all Lhe
Lhlngs LhaL were pros" were noLlons of self-measuremenL, and someLhlng she could [udge
herself by. Moreover, none of Lhese Lhlngs were susLalnable, and she had Lo sacrlflce more
lmporLanL Lhlngs ln her llfe, [usL achleve someLhlng Lo measure herself by, LhaL she couldn'L
posslbly malnLaln. And now she ls sLuck ln Lhls mlndseL LhaL ways Lo beLLer herself or challenge
herself are only accompllshed by underLaklng Lhlngs she can measure and [udge herself by. And
where has LhaL led her? lL has led her Lo a self-desLrucLlve pursulL of Lhlngs LhaL cannoL dellver
whaL she really seeks.

noLlce also whaL ls mlsslng ln her self-reporLed pros and cons of welghL-loss pursulLs? 1here ls
no self-compasslon ln any of lL. All of lL was abouL resulLs and whaL she LhoughL Lhese resulLs

www.scoLLabel.com
44

say abouL her. lL ls Lhe mlsdlrecLed aLLempL Lo ln[ecL self-compasslon from Lhe ouLslde-ln - and
lL [usL cannoL work. Self-compasslon can only exlsL ln Lhe absence of Lhe dleL-menLallLy and vlce
versa. lL can never come Lo you as a resulL of dleL or welghL-loss success. And Lhls ls Lhe
fundamenLal lle of Lhe dleL-menLallLy - LhaL welghL-loss can and wlll dellver you Lo a place of
personal conLenLmenL and peace of mlnd. lL can'L, and lL won'L. And you end up Lrapped ln Lhls
endless hamsLer wheel of noL wanLlng Lo llve wlLhln Lhe dleL-menLallLy anymore - buL so afrald
of leLLlng go of lL aL Lhe same Llme.

We end up wlLh Lwo dlchoLomles of mlndseLs LhaL are ln essence muLually excluslve - one ls
self-desLrucLlve, Lhe oLher ls self-susLalnlng. Cnce agaln, refer Lo Lhe dlagram aL Lhe beglnnlng
of Lhe chapLer and noLe how each mlndseL wlll lnfluence all Lhe varlous appendages of your llfe.
And noLe how fundamenLally dlsLlncL Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls from Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd.
And so we have Lhls general dlsLlncLlon beLween Lhe Lwo.

Se|f-Compass|onate M|nd D|et-Menta||ty
-ls abouL process - ls abouL resulLs/ouLcomes
-ls abouL lnner well-belng - ls abouL appearance over
subsLance
-ls abouL emoLlonal calm - ls abouL ampllfled emoLlons
-ls abouL self-connecLlon - separaLes you from your lnner self
-ls abouL self-accepLance - ls abouL self-measuremenL and
emoLlonal [udgmenL of yourself

And of course, Lhls ls [usL Lhe general ouLllnlng parameLers. 1he sLark dlsLlncLlons beLween Lhe
dleL-menLallLy and Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd, go on and on. lf you [usL use Lhe dlagram from
Lhe beglnnlng of Lhe chapLer and Lhlnk abouL each appendage of your llfe LhaL your operaLlng
sysLem Louches - you can come up wlLh many more ways and means of Lhe fundamenLal
dlfferences beLween Lhe dleL-menLallLy and Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd - and how Lhey
lnfluence your llfe, for beLLer or worse. 8uL lL ls also lmporLanL Lo undersLand Lhe feedback loop
of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. ln oLher words Lhe dleL-menLallLy does noL ever lead Lo esLabllshlng a
calm conLenLed sLaLe or peace of mlnd. 1he dleL-menLallLy creaLes a 'loop' where you end up
back Lo where you sLarLed and consLanLly repeaLlng Lhe same menLal/emoLlonal 'process Lo
nowhere' agaln and agaln. 1hls loop ls referred Lo as Lhe dleLlng mlnd-seL (Coss 2010) and lL
looks llke Lhls

www.scoLLabel.com
4S

LeL me go round Lhe loop Lo lllusLraLe how Lhls plays ouL for mllllons of people, over and over
agaln, year afLer year and Llme afLer Llme - never accompllshlng Lhe acLual goal of long-Lerm
susLalnable welghL-conLrol. 8efore you acLually fall lnLo Lhe loop of Lhe dleL-menLallLy Lhere ls
some preclplLaLlng LhoughL, feellng, or slLuaLlon. And ofLen Lhe preclplLaLlng LhoughL/feellng/or
evenL can even be a healLhy Lhlng and noL necessarlly self-desLrucLlve or dlsconnecLlng. And
alLhough Lhere can be llmlLless examples, leL's [usL choose one. LeL's say you happen Lo be
looklng for a challenge for yourself - [usL someLhlng Lo lnvesL your Llme ln. ?ou Lhlnk maybe you
would 'feel' a blL beLLer lf you [usL losL a few pounds. And here ls where Lhe loop beglns, when
you confuse a LhoughL wlLh a feellng. So you sLarL aL polnL a) and you now have a goal Lo lose
some welghL. 8uL you don'L reallze you have lnfused Lhls goal wlLh ampllfled emoLlon as well.
1hls Lakes you Lo polnL b) where you sLarL acLually dolng someLhlng abouL your goal - and you
are dleLlng and/or worklng ouL and seLLlng Lhlngs ln emoLlon. And so far, so good - you really
are feellng beLLer abouL yourself. And you sLarL Lo drop some pounds and maybe a dress slze or
Lwo. And now you equaLe Lhe emoLlon of feellng beLLer abouL yourself Lo losL welghL on Lhe
scale. ?ou are now 'measurlng yourself' agalnsL an exLernal. ?ou are confuslng feellng beLLer
from Lhe lnslde-ouL of underLaklng Lhe process - wlLh Lhe ouLcome of losL pounds on a scale.

ln Lhe physlcal realm however, you do noL reallze whaL ls acLually golng on. ?ou also have a
poslLlve feellng golng on, noL [usL emoLlonally, buL physlologlcally as well. 1hls ls known as Lhe
anLl-caLabollc sLage of a perlod of calorles-resLrlcLlon. ln oLher words, Lhere are lndeed lnlLlal
poslLlve physlologlcal effecLs from resLrlcLlng calorles and loslng some welghL. 8uL Lhls anLl-
caLabollc sLage ls a survlval mechanlsm. lL cannoL lasL. 8uL meanLlme you are lnfuslng and
ampllfylng your emoLlonal aLLachmenLs Lo how you feel abouL yourself Lo a physlologlcal
process LhaL cannoL lasL. lnevlLably you flnd yourself aL polnL e) where you are consLanLly
gauglng yourself agalnsL exLernals, llke Lhe mlrror, and Lhe welghL-scale. And whaL lnlLlally 'felL'

www.scoLLabel.com
46

so good, lsn'L feellng so good now, as your body sLarLs Lo lnLenslfy hunger cues, and slow down
welghL loss and meLabollsm for lack of lncomlng calorles. 8uL your emoLlonal lnvesLmenL ln all
of Lhls - Lo 'feel' beLLer abouL yourself, has noL changed, and usually [usL lnLenslfles, afLer some
lnlLlal slgns of success. All of Lhls self-monlLorlng and self-measurlng leads Lo anxleLy and
dlsconnecLlng from yourself more and more. 1he body ls worklng hard Lo proLecL lLself and Lo
proLecL you as well, buL you can'L see lL or undersLand lL - because none of Lhe physlologlcal
reallLles of Lhe blology of welghL-conLrol have ever been explalned Lo you. MeanLlme you are
now emoLlonally aLLached Lo how Lhe scale moves, and when lL sLops movlng, or when you
sLarL regalnlng losL welghL - you become once agaln, emoLlonally vulnerable, buL now lL's
because of Lhe dleL-menLallLy lLself. And wlLhouL self-compasslon ln place Lo break Lhls chaln,
Lhe whole loop repeaLs lLself. And lL wlll keep repeaLlng lLself as long as you hold on Lo Lhls
foollsh noLlon LhaL Lhe soluLlon Lo your 'feellng' of emoLlonal vulnerablllLy, lays ln your ablllLy Lo
lose welghL. ?ou [usL don'L reallze LhaL you keep confuslng 'cause' wlLh 'effecL' now. And you
don'L reallze Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls noL Lhe soluLlon Lo your emoLlonal vulnerablllLy, buL Lhe
cause of lL.

1he Se|f-Compass|onate M|nd

up Llll now we have only been addresslng Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlndseL as Lhe anLagonlsL of
Lhe dleL-menLallLy. 8uL whaL exacLly ls Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd? CuLllnlng lL as Lhe
opposlLe of Lhe dleL-menLallLy of course does some good, buL you also need Lo undersLand lL as
an enLlLy unLo lLself. 1he more deeply you can undersLand and comprehend Lhe self-
compasslonaLe mlnd - Lhe more ready you wlll be Lo recognlze lL, and Lo embrace lL ln your llfe.
lL cannoL be someLhlng you Lry Lo use Lo 'reslsL' your dleL-menLallLy. lL musL be much more Lhan
LhaL. 8emember, 'wbot yoo teslst, petslsts.' 1he self-compasslonaLe mlnd ls whaL ls lefL when
you leL go of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. lL ls noL meanL Lo be used as a weapon ln a baLLle wltblo Lhe
dleL-menLallLy. 1haL klnd of mlndseL [usL proves Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls sLlll Lhe worklng operaLlng
sysLem of your LhoughLs and feellngs abouL welghL-conLrol. 1haL ls whaL musL be surrendered.
And a more ln-depLh undersLandlng of Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd can help you Lo do so.

1he self-compasslonaLe mlnd requlres mlndfulness. And Lhe mlndfulness of Lhe self-
compasslonaLe mlnd dlrecLs you Lhe rlghL way - your way. And anyLhlng LhaL you do wlLh lovlng
aLLenLlon wlLh yourself or for yourself - llke eaLlng rlghL or exerclslng - Lhese become a regular
and rouLlne pracLlce of personal care, self-accepLance, self-empowermenL and personal
growLh. 1he change LhaL you musL make ls Lo go from 'exLernal force and exLernal conLrol' Lo
lnner connecLlon -> from Lhe dleL-menLallLy Lo Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd. 8emember Lhe
dlagram from Lhe beglnnlng of Lhls chapLer. !usL because you exerclse and eaL rlghL, does noL
mean you are on a self-enhanclng paLh Lo welghL-conLrol. LaLlng rlghL and exerclslng can also
be desLrucLlve - and LhaL ls why LhaL dlagram frames so well, LhaL Lhe mlndseL behlnd whaL ls
drlvlng Lhe eaLlng rlghL and exerclse - ls whaL deLermlnes wheLher Lhls wlll be a susLalnable
self-empowerlng paLh - or a self-desLrucLlve one.

www.scoLLabel.com
47

A compasslonaLe approach Lo managlng welghL moves away from Lhe moral rlghLeousness or
emoLlonal lndlgnaLlon and Lhe crlLlclsms and [udgmenLs LhaL go along wlLh Lhls false and phony
dleL-morallLy. Compasslon ls deflned here as -> emotloool soppott lo tbe Jltectloo of tbe
JeslteJ cbooqe - ooJ wltboot self-tejectloo ooJ ottock wbeo yoo sttoqqle. 1hlnk of compasslon
ln Lhls sense - as you would approach Leachlng your chlld when he/she makes mlsLakes.
8emember our prevlous dlscusslon of Lhe dleL-menLallLy resembllng 'bad' parenLlng? motloool
soppott lo tbe Jltectloo of tbe JeslteJ cbooqe ls requlred from wlLhln you, and noL slmply
measured by Lools exLernal Lo you, llke welghL scales and dress slzes. So, ln Lerms of
compasslon, Lhe quesLlon agaln musL be repeaLed - Pow does Lhe dleL-menLallLy flL lnLo 'a
compasslonaLe mlndseL' ln regards Lo long-Lerm susLalnable welghL-conLrol?" 8uL Lhe deflnlLlon
of Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd goes deeper Lhan [usL emoLlonal supporL ln Lhe dlrecLlon of Lhe
deslred change, wlLhouL self-re[ecLlon. Compasslon ls also a componenL parL of love.

And Lo brlng Lhe polnL home l llke Lo use Lhe verse of 1 CorlnLhlans 13, Lo examlne Lhe self-
compasslonaLe mlnd a llLLle deeper. 1hls has noLhlng Lo do wlLh rellglon buL ls used here Lo help
dellneaLe and deflne Lhe core LeneLs of Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd:

"love ls potleot ooJ kloJ. love ls oot jeoloos, lt Joes oot btoq, ooJ lt ls oot ptooJ. love ls oot
toJe, ls oot selflsb, ooJ Joes oot qet opset wltb otbets. love Joes oot cooot op wtooqs tbot bove
beeo Jooe. love tokes oo pleosote lo evll bot tejolces ovet tbe ttotb. love potleotly occepts oll
tbloqs. lt olwoys ttosts, olwoys bopes, ooJ olwoys eoJotes. love oevet folls."

lf you examlne Lhls blbllcal deplcLlon of love buL exchange Lhe word love wlLh self-compasslon
and alm Lhe prose lnward solely ln regard Lo how you relaLe Lo yourself - you can see how only
Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd can help you wlLh a goal llke welghL-loss and welghL-conLrol -
whlle Lhe dleL-menLallLy would be Lhe equlvalenL Lo cuLLlng off your nose Lo splLe your face.
Lxamlne Lhe verse above. ln your aLLempLs aL long-Lerm welghL conLrol, are you potleot ooJ
kloJ wlLh yourself? uo you employ [ealousy or envy and Lry Lo use Lhose Lo moLlvaLe yourself Lo
sLlck Lo a dleL or flL lnLo cerLaln cloLhlng? ln oLher words, does parL of you geL lnLo Lhe whole,
compare, conLrasL, and compeLe mlndseL of Lhe dleL-menLallLy as we've dlscussed? 8ecause
you can see how LhaL sorL of senLlmenL lllusLraLes Lhe lack of self-compasslon, because self-
compasslon ls noL [ealous or envlous: And whaL abouL oot qettloq opset wltb yootself? lsn'L Lhe
LruLh LhaL Lhe ampllfled emoLlons aLLached Lo your dleL-menLallLy leads you Lo geLLlng upseL
wlLh yourself more ofLen Lhan noL - and more ofLen Lhan when you are aL peace wlLh yourself?
And whaL abouL self-compasslon Joes oot cooot op wtooqs tbot bove beeo Jooe? lsn'L Lhe dleL-
menLallLy mosLly composed of keeplng score of [udglng yourself for all your wrongs for non-
compllance Lo your dleL rules? And Lhls leads Lo Lhe nexL polnL. Self-compasslon potleotly
accepLs all Lhlngs. ls Lhere anyLhlng emoLlonally 'paLlenL' ln your dleL-menLallLy? ls Lhere
anyLhlng paLlenLly self-supporLlng and self-accepLlng ln your dleL-menLallLy? We can examlne
Lhls 1 CorlnLhlans verse over and over, word by word, and from many dlfferenL angles. 8uL lL
seLs Lhe LruLh before you. And LhaL LruLh ls LhaL your dleL-menLallLy ls devold of self-

www.scoLLabel.com
48

compasslon. And only self-compasslon can properly moLlvaLe you Lo endure Lhe process of
welghL-loss and welghL-conLrol. 1herefore Lhe lasL senLence of Lhls verse becomes more of a
proclamaLlon and fuLure predlcLlon Lhan anyLhlng else. 5elf-compossloo oevet folls. And slnce
self-compasslon cannoL exlsL where Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls presenL (and vlce versa) Lhen Lhe
rlghLful concluslon musL also be LhaL tbe Jlet-meotollty wlll olwoys foll. ?our welghL-conLrol
soluLlon was always meanL Lo be an lnslde-ouL soluLlon - a soluLlon LhaL can only be achleved
wlLh nurLurlng and accepLance, noL wlLh force and self-re[ecLlon.

Compasslon ls someLlmes percelved as belng sofL or weak, some klnd of flaky senLlmenLallLy.
8uL Lhe opposlLe ls Lhe LruLh. Self-compasslon requlres you Lo be open Lo - and Lo be able Lo
LoleraLe and accepL emoLlonal paln - Lo face up Lo dlfflculL and Lrylng slLuaLlons. 8eal
compasslon doesn'L Lurn away from dlfflculLy or dlscomforL - nor does lL Lry Lo geL rld of lL.
1herefore real compasslon ls sLrengLh ln acLlon. Look aL LhaL verse agaln, and don'L [usL read lL,
buL feel lL as well. 8eal compasslon ls honesL and commlLLed - and Lherefore lL connecLs you Lo
yourself wlLh courage, even honor. And Lhls ls Lhe paLhway Lo boLh conLenLmenL and
achlevemenL. And Lherefore Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd - because lL nourlshes your soul and
your splrlL - lL ls also Lhe only paLh Lo undersLandlng whaL long-Lerm welghL conLrol ls abouL
and whaL lL enLalls - and how you can nurLure your way Lhere. (And never aLLempL Lo force
your way Lhere.)

And once your Lrue auLhenLlc splrlLual hungers are well-fed Lhls way - meanlng Lhey are
properly and healLhlly nourlshed - Lhen your body wlll become a source of [oy and meanlng -
lnsLead of belng a source of fear, dread, allenaLlon and self-re[ecLlon. Cnly compasslon
nourlshes and feeds your splrlL and ls food for your soul. 8uL under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy, your problem lsn'L LhaL you are geLLlng Loo few compasslon calorles" Lo susLaln your
splrlLual self - buL raLher, you aren'L geLLlng any compasslon calorles" aL all, are you? under
Lhe lnfluence of Lhe dleL-menLallLy you are sLarvlng your splrlLual self, as a resulL of re[ecLlng
your exLernal self - whlle under Lhe pursulL of some dleL llluslon you Lhlnk wlll brlng lL all
LogeLher. lL won'L!

1here ls a huge dlfference here beLween shame-based self-crlLlclsm, self-re[ecLlon, self-
aLLacklng - and a self-compasslonaLe drlve Lo correcL undeslred behavlor. lL's Lhe energy of
psychlc lnLenLlon, and Lhe lnLenLlon of psychlc energy LhaL deLermlnes how you experlence Lhe
process and Lhe ouLcome. PaLe and anger and negaLlvlLy almed aL yourself - [usL brlngs on
more of Lhose same Lhlngs - and Lhen you wonder why you are elLher so frusLraLed or so
exhausLed. negaLlve lnLense emoLlons wlll menLally exhausL you. 8uL self-compasslon brlngs
klndness (noL ego) - and klndness lnvlgoraLes you. klndness allows you Lo forglve your own
mlsLakes, and lL replenlshes your personal energy and drlve so you can Lry agaln - only nexL
Llme, noL empLled of poslLlve emoLlon. 1he dleL-menLallLy leads you Lo wanLlng Lo punlsh
yourself for your mlsLakes. 8uL lf LhaL worked, Lhen you wouldn'L sLlll be sLruggllng wlLh Lhese
same welghL lssues over and over agaln. no one can punlsh Lhelr way Lo achlevemenL.
LmoLlonal pressure and emoLlonal punlshmenL almed aL yourself, only leads Lo a feellng of

www.scoLLabel.com
49

belng punlshed - and LhaL only leads Lo feellng defeaLed, never lnvlgoraLed. And Lhen Lhe clrcle
conLlnues.

AL some polnL you [usL have Lo arrlve aL Lhe reallzaLlon LhaL your dleL-menLallLy cannoL work,
and your sLruggle wlLhln lL, proves lL. 1hls wlll lead you Lo reallze LhaL healLhy eaLlng ls nC1
abouL 'a dleL.' And healLhy eaLlng ls noL abouL welghL-loss. PealLhy eaLlng ls nelLher someLhlng
Lo suffer Lhrough, or aLLach emoLlonal [udgmenL Lo. Sufferlng and emoLlonal [udgmenLs are
slmply noL componenLs of healLhy-eaLlng. As you wlll see ln Lhe nexL chapLer, you are meanL Lo
be emoLlonally connecLed 'wlLh' food, and 'wlLh' Lhe engagemenL of feedlng yourself. 8uL you
are noL meanL Lo be emoLlonally connecLed 'Lo' food, or 'by' food. And you [usL need Lo remlnd
yourself LhaL where Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd ls presenL, sufferlng and negaLlve [udgmenL
won'L be. Cnly Lhen can you experlence whaL healLhy eaLlng Lruly ls.

?ou need Lo go back Lo Lhe dlagram aL Lhe beglnnlng of Lhls chapLer. Look lL over agaln
carefully. ?ou can see how elLher, Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd - or Lhe LhreaLened mlnd of Lhe
dleL-menLallLy wlll creaLe lmages and menLal and emoLlonal pottetos LhaL wlll keep on
lnfluenclng each oLher. lor poslLlve or negaLlve, Lhe lmages you creaLe ln your mlnd (abouL
welghL-loss and welghL-conLrol) wlll affecL whaL you pay aLLenLlon Lo, and how you pay
aLLenLlon Lo lL. And all of Lhls wlll affecL how you Lhlnk, and feel, and Lherefore Lhls wlll also
affecL how your body works and responds. ?our body ls a reflecLlon of your predomlnanL
LhoughL and feellng paLLerns. (1hls ls your Lrlangle of awareness ln real acLlon, each slde,
lnfluenclng Lhe oLher.) ?ou need Lo Lruly undersLand and embrace LhaL all Lhese appendages
feed off and connecL wlLh each oLher, and lnfluence each oLher. 8uL lL all sLarLs wlLh your
prevalllng mlndseL. ln Lhe dleL-menLallLy your over-ampllfled emoLlons abouL dleL and welghL
conLrol can drlve and dlsLorL your LhoughLs. 1hese LhoughLs ln Lurn drlve and dlsLorL your
feellngs on Lhese LhoughLs as well. All of lL [usL conLlnues Lo have Lhe dleL-menLallLy conLlnue Lo
relnforce and sLrengLhen lLs own desLrucLlve loop, as you see ln Lhe dlagram above.

8uL can you lmaglne eaLlng lndulgenL food wlLh calm energy and en[oymenL, lnsLead of eaLlng
lndulgenL food wlLh nervous and anxlous energy - or worse - wlLh gullL and shame or regreL?
1hls ls Lhe dlfference beLween Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd and Lhe dleL-menLallLy. lL's Lhe
dlfference beLween an emoLlonal sysLem LhaL ls poslLlve and self-enhanclng, and one LhaL ls
desLrucLlve and self-dlmlnlshlng. And whaL do you Lhlnk Lhe dlfference beLween Lhese Lwo ways
of 'feelloq your eaLlng behavlor ls golng Lo feel llke? And where wlll Lhls dlfference lead you,
menLally and emoLlonally ln regards Lo how you eaL, and why you eaL? And Lhls leads rlghL back
Lo Lhe dlagram aL Lhe beglnnlng of Lhls chapLer. 8uL one Lhlng ls cerLaln. unLll you are educaLed
Lo undersLand your emoLlonal connecLlons Lo Lhe eaLlng experlence, you wlll always remaln
vulnerable Lo Lhe lnfluence of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. And your emoLlonal connecLlons wlLh Lhe
process of feedlng yourself - ls Lhe sub[ecL of Lhe nexL shorL chapLer. lL ls lLs own chapLer,
because lL ls vlLally lmporLanL LhaL you undersLand how you are emoLlonally connecLed Lo your
food experlence, and Lhe experlence of feedlng yourself.

www.scoLLabel.com
S0

Chapter S
1he kea||t|es of our Lmot|ona| Connect|on w|th Lat|ng and the
rocess of Ieed|ng ourse|f

1he prevlous chapLer ouLllned Lhe quallLaLlve dlfferences beLween Lhe dleL-menLallLy and Lhe
self-compasslonaLe mlnd. As Lhe lndlspensable dlagram aL Lhe beglnnlng of ChapLer 4 revealed
- alLhough Lhese Lwo mlndseLs are fundamenLally and quallLaLlvely dlfferenL - Lhey boLh Lhen
reach ouL llke LenLacles and affecL Lhe oLher appendages of your llfe experlence. 1he dlagram
also cuLs Lo Lhe hearL of Lhe maLLer of one of my favorlLe Coachlng adages, mlndseL
deLermlnes behavlor" - or more preclsely, quallLy of mlndseL, deLermlnes Lhe quallLy of
behavlor." And whaL happens wlLhln Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls LhaL you adapL an ampllfled and
lnLenslfled emoLlonal aLLachmenL Lo dleL and welghL, and all Lhlngs assoclaLed wlLh Lhem. As
we've been argulng Lhus far, dolng so has never led Lo a welghL-conLrol soluLlon, buL ln facL,
more ofLen Lhan noL, lL [usL lnLenslfles your welghL-conLrol problem.
As ChapLer 4 wenL on, we delved more lnLo dellneaLlng Lhe fundamenLal componenLs of Lhe
self-compasslonaLe mlndseL. 1he argumenL of Lhls whole pro[ecL ls LhaL Lhe self-compasslonaLe
mlndseL musL be Lhe fundamenLal base for solvlng welghL-loss and welghL-conLrol lssues.
lurLhermore, Lhe way Lhe dleL-menLallLy dlsLorLs and ampllfles your emoLlonal aLLachmenLs Lo
dleL, dleLlng, and welghL-focus, ls whaL dlsconnecLs you from Lhls fundamenLal self-
compasslonaLe base. And Lo furLher Lhls argumenL, whaL we need Lo polnL ouL ls LhaL Lhls self-
compasslonaLe connecLlon Lo yourself - vla your feedlng experlence, ls lnnaLe and born lnLo
you! lL ls noL someLhlng Lo separaLe yourself from. 1haL ln lLself ls whaL ls unnaLural. And Lo
assoclaLe negaLlve emoLlons of worry, and angsL, and warlness over 'whaL' you eaL, muLaLes
your lnnaLe emoLlonal self-connecLlons wlLh how and why you eaL. And Lhls cruclal dlsLorLlon of
your emoLlonal realm, away from self-connecLlon and calm energy, Loward dlsconnecLlon and
anxlous energy, ls more Lhe problem Lhan Lhe soluLlon.
WhaL Lhls chapLer alms aL speclflcally, ls Lo educaLe you on your Lrue emoLlonal connecLlons
wlLh your 'feedlng experlence' and how lL evolved, and why lL ls essenLlal Lo reesLabllsh Lhls
wlLhln yourself, lf you are ever Lo have success wlLh welghL-loss and welghL-conLrol. 8ecause
Lhe LruLh ls you are born and ralsed Lo be emoLlonally connecLed wlLh your 'feedlng
experlence.' ln facL, Lhls may be a survlval lnsLlncL Lo how all mammals evolved and survlved.
WhaL ls unnaLural ls muLaLlng Lhls poslLlve emoLlonal connecLlon wlLh feedlng yourself, and

www.scoLLabel.com
S1

Lurnlng lL lnLo someLhlng you are supposed Lo worry over and be anxlous abouL. And ln shorL,
Lhls ls [usL conLrary Lo your own blologlcal lmperaLlve, when lL comes Lo your emoLlonal
connecLlons wlLh feedlng yourself.
...
So whaL are Lhese naLural and lnsLlncLual emoLlonal connecLlons Lo feedlng yourself? Well, Lhe
Lrue and naLural 'menLal emoLlonal procllvlLy' ls Lo be 'sooLhed and relaxed' (LranslaLlon -> calm
energy) ln Lhe process of feedlng yourself. SLudles wlLh lnfanLs prove Lhls. As well, lf baby
mammals are glven food, buL deprlved of physlcal closeness, emoLlonal warmLh, and eye
conLacL whlle feedlng, Lhey become emoLlonally dlsLressed whlle eaLlng. So Lhe emoLlonal
connecLlons 'wltb' food may be ln Lhe geneLlc codes for survlval, and Lhey cerLalnly begln durlng
Lhe feedlng process of lnfanL feedlngs. lor mosL mammals - Lhey assoclaLe early-experlences of
food and eaLlng wlLh emoLlonal comforL. 1herefore Lo aLLach negaLlve emoLlon Lo food or
eaLlng because of Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls compleLely conLrary Lo your mammallan physlology and
emoLlonal developmenL and soclallzaLlon. 1here wlll never be peace of mlnd from dolng so,
because lL ls compleLely unnaLural Lo Lry Lo dlsassoclaLe emoLlonal comforL from Lhe feedlng
experlence. - (agaln Lhe lmporLanL polnL here lsn'L LhaL emoLlonal comforL comes 'ftom food -
lL comes 'wltb' feedlng.)
?our earllesL experlences of feedlng are assoclaLed wlLh poslLlve and carlng emoLlonal
connecLlons - namely, care and affecLlon. 1hls ls noL Lhe same as uslng food as a reward. 8uL lL
does suggesL why people ln Lhe modern world of hlgh-sLress, ofLen 'reLreaL' Lo food Lo seek
solace, comforL and affecLlon. Why? - 8ecause Lhls was your earllesL experlence of emoLlonal
comforL glven Lo you along wlLh Lhe feedlng experlence. Pow" you were fed as lnfanL was also
your flrsL prlmal emoLlonal connecLlon Lo belng a soclal anlmal. 1hlnk abouL lL Lhls way: lf you
are a young moLher, or you can remember belng one - or [usL nexL Llme you are ouL, waLch a
moLher feedlng her baby. ls lL a mlndless experlence of [usL 'glvlng food' Lo Lhe lnfanL? nC!
1here ls abundanL eye-conLacL and affecLlon. 1he baby ls belng 'fed' food, buL wltb emoLlonal
care and affecLlon. And once Lhe baby moves from boLLle or breasL Lo baby food [ar Lhls poslLlve
emoLlonal connecLlon conLlnues along wlLh Lhe lnfanL's experlence of belng 'fed.' (hyslcally
and emoLlonally).
All Lhese parenLal anLlcs of here comes Lhe choo-choo" and oLher parenLal anLlcs of
emoLlonally upllfLlng care provlde emoLlonal comforL Lo Lhe lnfanL ln Lhe acLual process of
feedlng. 1herefore feedlng ls and always wlll be, and even 'sboolJ be' assoclaLed '1(','
emoLlonal comforL. WhaL ls happenlng ls noL nurLure over naLure" - buL a comblnaLlon of
nurLure" wlLh naLure." Agaln, Lhls comforL comes noL 'ftom' food, buL comes 'wltb' Lhe

www.scoLLabel.com
S2

feedlng experlence. And Lhls sLays wlLh you for a llfeLlme. 1he dleL-menLallLy LhaL Lells you Lo
separaLe from Lhls naLural emoLlonal connecLlon and experlence - Lherefore Lhe dleL-menLallLy
separaLes you from your mosL lnsLlncLual Lles Lo emoLlonal comforLs. 1herefore Lhls cannoL
work - noL ln any way, shape or form, LhaL serves menLal/emoLlonal/ or splrlLual healLh and
well-belng. And Lhls ls Lhe fundamenLal buL psychologlcally damaglng mlsLake of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy and Lhe dleL-lndusLry lLself.
?ou are hard-wlred as a mammal Lo emoLlonally connecL wlLh your feedlng experlence.
AnyLhlng LhaL leads you Lo belleve Lhls ls noL Lrue - ls unhealLhy and damaglng. And Lhls ls whaL
lnvlLes eaLlng dlsorders, dlsordered eaLlng, food and welghL lssues. WhaL you are really seeklng
ls petmlssloo" Lo be emoLlonally-connecLed wlLh Lhe feedlng process agaln. And ln all Lhe
confuslon you and so many oLhers Lhlnk lL's Lhe food lLself LhaL ls emoLlonally comforLlng. 8uL
lL's noL Lhe food - lL's Lhe naLural feedlng experlence. 1hls ls why resLauranLs evolved and Lhe
reason envlronmenLal amblance" surroundlng Lhe eaLlng experlence as an adulL ls equaLed Lo
whaL ls called a 'dlnlng experlence.' lL all comes from Lhe emoLlonal dellvery of comforL,
securlLy, and affecLlon from Lhe flrsL feedlng experlences you have as an lnfanL. ls Lhere any
greaLer emoLlonal securlLy and connecLlon Lhan belng held ln a moLher's arms whlle feedlng on
breasL mllk or a boLLle? 1hese Lhlngs are connecLed, and Lhen Lhey become parL of you and
always wlll be. 1o Lry Lo dlsassoclaLe poslLlve emoLlonal experlence from Lhe feedlng experlence
ls Lhe blggesL mlsLake of Lhe modern era as lL aLLempLs Lo conLrol-welghL ln all Lhe WkCNG
ways. ?our earllesL feedlng experlences, from boLLle Lo baby-food [ars, ls Lhe flrsL experlence
you ever had of llklng a Lhlng" - as ln Lhe LasLe of food - and havlng Lhls experlence llke you
back." -> as ln Lhe emoLlonal comforLs and affecLlons LhaL came Lo you along wlLh Lhls feedlng
experlence.
uleLlng and Lhe dleL-menLallLy Lell you, you need Lo separaLe yourself from Lhls experlence. Cr
worse, your dleL-menLallLy Lells you Lo be cauLlous or wary or focus wlLh anxleLy on Lhls feedlng
experlence. 1hls ls fundamenLally mlsgulded ln all Lhree realms of Lhe Lrlangle of awareness. lf
you really wanL Lo be successful aL welghL conLrol - Lhen you need Lo accepL and allow yourself
Lo once agaln have an emotlooolly comfottloq expetleoce ln Lhe process of feedlng yourself.
1hls may seem counLer-lnLulLlve Lo Lhe modern day dleL message LhaL geLs hammered lnLo your
head dally. 8uL, lf Lhls modern message were correcL, would Lhere even be, food and eaLlng
lssues, dleL-problems and welghL-conLrol sLruggles? lf Lhe answers were Lruly abouL 'eaL Lhls
food, noL LhaL food' - and have Lhe feedlng experlence Lake place ln an emoLlonal vaccum -
Lhen wouldn'L you all be Lhere already? 1he dleL-lndusLry ls bullL on a fundamenLal bllndness
LhaL Lhlnks emoLlonal dlsconnecLlon from Lhe feedlng process ls noL only posslble, buL
advlsable. Well, lL's noL! Lven baby and moLher gorlllas know Lhls! And lf you waLch any human
moLher feedlng her baby or lnfanL - you wlll wlLness Lhe prlmal force of emoLlonal connecLlon

www.scoLLabel.com
S3

Lo Lhe feedlng experlence. WhaL a modern-day blunder Lo Lhlnk Lhese Lhlngs should be
separaLed.
LeL's revlslL 1he lrench aradox agaln. 1he lrench do noL suffer obeslLy, welghL-conLrol lssues,
food lssues or Lhe varylng resulLs of emoLlonal dlsconnecLlon of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. ln facL, Lhe
prlmary renderlng of Lhe research on 1he lrench aradox ls LhaL Lhe lrench Lruly en[oy and love
food. 1here ls even a whole school of cooklng and gasLronomy focused on Lhe rlchness of
lrench food. !ulla Chlld recognlzed Lhls. 1he lrench aradox [usL shows, LhaL Lhe lrench [ol de
vlvre (love of llfe) exLends Lo Lhelr emoLlonal connecLlons wlLh Lhe feedlng experlence. 1hey
never separaLed Lhemselves from Lhe emoLlonal connecLlons Lo Lhe feedlng experlence,
because Lhey don'L know whaL Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls. So, ln Lhls sense, lf Lhere ls any paradox"
Lruly happenlng here, lL ls ln Lhe WesLern culLure's noLlon of Lhe dleL-menLallLy whlch Lrles Lo
separaLe you from a naLural Lendency LhaL feedlng yourself should be an emoLlonally
comforLlng experlence. And Lhls began and was relnforced, Lhe mlnuLe you were born. 1here ls
no paradox" ln 1he lrench aradox - because Lhey never separaLed Lhemselves from Lhe
emoLlonal connecLlons Lo Lhe comforL and [oy LhaL feedlng yourself should dellver. 1he Lrue
paradox ls ln Lhe dleL-menLallLy LhaL Lrles Lo dlcLaLe Lo you LhaL Lhe feedlng experlence ls
someLhlng you should sLress over, worry abouL, be careful wlLh, and calculaLe and separaLe
poslLlve and comforLlng emoLlons from. So, whlle you were born Lo be emoLlonally comforLed
by your feedlng experlence, Lhe dleL-menLallLy Lells you Lo be [usL Lhe opposlLe - and be
emoLlonally wary and apprehenslve of lL. And lL ls Lhls emoLlonal paradox LhaL you now sLruggle
wlLh. And you sLruggle wlLh lL because lL's noL naLural.
ln summary -Cur earllesL experlences of eaLlng - LhaL ls - of belng fed - are nurLured and
lnfused wlLh 'feellngs' of emoLlonal closeness, emoLlonal securlLy, emoLlonal comforL -
comblned wlLh Lhe physlcal rellef of hunger and Lhe [oy of 'LasLy' food. oslLlve emoLlon and
feedlng are meanL Lo go LogeLher (Lhls lncludes calm and peaceful menLal energy). 1hese Lhlngs
are connecLed ln you slnce blrLh. ?our early feedlng rlLuals are Lled Lo your emoLlonal healLh -
and you lnLernallze Lhls for a llfe-Llme. lL ls yeL anoLher way you learn Lo connecL wlLh yourself
as well, once you can feed yourself. (As you Lake over emoLlonal care of yourself from moLher
Lo self-care, buL sLlll emoLlonally connecLed and lnvesLed ln Lhe feedlng experlence.)1o suggesL
ever, LhaL poslLlve and comforLlng emoLlons can be dlsconnecLed from your feedlng experlence
ls Lo dlsconnecL you from a key componenL of how you relaLe Lo yourself. 1he dleL-menLallLy
consLanLly and conslsLenLly Lells you Lo separaLe Lhls very naLural and developed parL of who
you are. lL can'L work!

www.scoLLabel.com
S4

Chapter 6
Metabo||c And Cerebra| kea||t|es of Lat|ng and D|et - Why D|ets Ia||

ln Lhe lasL chapLer you have learned and embraced Lhe reallLles of your emoLlonal connecLlon
Lo Lhe feedlng process. Popefully you have also learned [usL how much and Lo whaL degree Lhe
dleL-menLallLy dlsLorLs your emoLlonal connecLlon wlLh Lhe feedlng process. And Lhls has
Lremendous repercusslons for you ln all Lhree realms of your Lrlangle of awareness - menLal,
emoLlonal, and physlcal. 1hls chapLer ls golng Lo conLlnue Lo dlscuss Lhese effecLs and
repercusslons buL also dlscuss Lhe meLabollc reallLles of dleLlng - as well as how your braln
evolved ln regards Lo pursulng food for survlval. 1he laLLer ls parLlcularly lmporLanL because lL
plLs your aLLempLs Lo dleL and lose welghL agalnsL your very naLural psychologlcal and
physlologlcal evoluLlon Lo prevenL you from dolng LhaL very Lhlng. And when you add ln Lhls
faulLy emoLlonal componenL of Lhe dleL-menLallLy - lL means LhaL Lrylng Lo lose and susLaln
welghL wlLhln LhaL menLallLy - ls speclflcally and cerLalnly doomed Lo fall.
8emember you are forever emoLlonally Lled and connecLed Lo Lhe feedlng experlence.
LmoLlonal comforL does noL come from food dlrecLly, buL lL ls meanL Lo be parL of Lhe
experlence of feedlng yourself. 8uL Lhe dleL-menLallLy removes all of Lhls human lnLerplay. lL
removes lL, aL flrsL, and Lhen dlsLorLs lL laLer on. 1he 'eot tbls oot tbot mandaLe of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy has always been based ln psychologlcally shaky LerrlLory. lL slmply [usL lsn'L how your
mlnd works when lL comes Lo food cholces.
Moreover, lf you sLudy Lhls hlsLory of dleLs, dleLlng, welghL-conLrol and nuLrlLlonal advlce as
exLenslvely as l have - you also learn LhaL Lhls 'eot tbls oot tbot mandaLe of Lhe dleL-menLallLy
has been wrong, more Lhan lL has been rlghL. llrsL, you were Lold Lo buy more rlce cakes and
eaL margarlne - when Lhe low-faL craze was Lhe rlghL way Lo eaL." 1hen, LhaL was wrong and
Lhe new and correcL" knowledge was Lo geL rld of poLaLoes, rlce, frulL - when low-carbs was
Lhe new and lmproved rlghL way Lo eaL." So, ln essence, aL flrsL you were Lold - 'be afrald of
faLs' - Lhen were you Lold, no, faLs are flne, buL 'be afrald of carbs.' 1hen, over Lhe course of
Llme Lhe nuLrlLlon knowledge became more and more reflned buL Lhe message of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy remalns Lhe same. ?ou were Lhen Lold Lo be 'afrald' of only cerLaln klnds of carbs or
cerLaln klnds of faLs. And now of course you should be afrald of 'gluLen' as well. Cr maybe, red
meaL - or maybe soy - and on and on lL goes. Lvery blL of research geLs LwlsLed lnLo some klnd
of emoLlonal warnlng you should heed Loward some speclflc lLem of Lhe eaL Lhls noL LhaL"
correcL way Lo eaL Lo be healLhy and conLrol welghL. 8uL Lhe boLLom llne of all of Lhls supposed

www.scoLLabel.com
SS

sclenLlflc knowledge and sclenLlflc loglc was LhaL lL relnforces Lhe dleL-menLallLy of fear-
mongerlng. 1he message has always been ln regards Lo dleLlng - 8L Al8Alu - 8L CAu1lCuS"
And of course Lhls can never work because Lhls ls noL how your human braln ls hard-wlred ln
regards Lo seeklng food and havlng lL. lL ls noL hard-wlred Lo be emoLlonally cauLlous and
upLlghL Loward food and your food experlence. ?our braln ls hard-wlred Lo see food as a
dellvery Lool - as a calmlng and emoLlonally comforLlng connecLlon 'wlLh' Lhe behavlor and
experlence of feedlng yourself. And l can'L emphaslze Lhls enough.
1he 'eot tbls oot tbot dlcLaLes of Lhe dleL-menLallLy wanL Lo remove your emoLlonal connecLlon
Lo Lhe feedlng experlence. Cr worse, Lhe dleL-menLallLy muLaLes lL from belng a calmlng and
emoLlonally connecLed experlence - and Lurns lL lnLo an anxlous and sLressful emoLlonally
dlsconnecLed experlence. 8uL worse, whaL ls wrong wlLh Lhls dleL-menLallLy and lLs faulLy 'eot
tbls oot tbot approach Lo welghL-conLrol ls LhaL lL ls always an ouLslde-ln focus. lL Lrles Lo
emphaslze LhaL your own palaLe doesn'L maLLer. ?our own food procllvlLles don'L maLLer. WhaL
maLLers ls Lhe ob[ecLs" of varlous foods - whlch ones Lo consume, whlch ones Lo avold - and
on and on. 1he dleL-menLallLy slmply never conslders Lhe human emoLlonal connecLlon Lo Lhe
feedlng experlence - a connecLlon LhaL ls meanL Lo be calmlng, rewardlng, and poslLlve. And
because of Lhe human lnherlLed emoLlonal connecLlons 'wlLh' food (noL from food) - cuLLlng
someLhlng you llke and en[oy ouL of your dleL ls never golng Lo work for long. ln facL, lL's golng
Lo lncrease your sub[ecLlve levels of sLress. And you may noL even recognlze lL as lLs happenlng.
So, Lhe 'eot tbls oot tbot emphasls of Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls a fallacy because lL Lrles Lo
dlsconnecL a hard-wlred lnner emoLlonal connecLlon you have Lo Lhe behavlor of feedlng. And
Lhls exlsLs across all mammallan specles. lf anyLhlng ls ever golng Lo work aL all, lL's golng Lo
have Lo be changlng your LasLe for a speclflc food, so LhaL you change your deslre for lL. WhaL
wlll nLvL8 work ls 'Lrylng harder' Lo deny yourself of lL! So, Lhe menLal realm ls more lmporLanL
Lhan Lhe behavloral realm - whlle Lhe dleL-menLallLy Lrles Lo lnverse Lhls equaLlon. Cnce agaln,
Lhe psychology of Lhe dleL experlence ls far more lmporLanL Lhan your food cholces. And we see
Lhls reflecLed ln 1he lrench aradox - and we see Lhls exlsLs across all mammal specles. And Lo
fall Lo acknowledge Lhls facL, as ln Lhe dleL-menLallLy, creaLes more lssues Lhan lL can ever solve.
lL [usL lsn'L naLural."
lor example, a sLudy wlLh raLs showed LhaL cuLLlng ouL Lhelr favorlLe foods led Lo blnge-eaLlng!
ur. leLro CoLLone, addlcLlon researcher aL 8osLon unlverslLy School of Medlclne Lurned normal
raLs lnLo blnge eaLers slmply by removlng Lhelr favorlLe food. noL only dld Lhe raLs blnge-eaL
when glven back Lhelr favorlLe food - buL Lhey became anxlous and dlsLressed and sLressed-ouL
durlng Lhe dleLlng days" when Lhese foods were deprlved from Lhem. uoesn'L Lhls sound
famlllar? And hls flndlngs lllusLraLe LhaL Lhe connecLlon Lo a llkeable and emoLlonally-
comforLlng food experlence exlsLs across all mammal specles. 1o dlsLorL Lhls, causes

www.scoLLabel.com
S6

psychologlcal lssues - and aL Lhe same Llme because of Lhls -lL cannoL solve welghL-conLrol
lssues. As ur. CoLLone puL lL -> A blstoty of Jletloq ooJ telopse, ltself, CNkA15 AN\l1.
(2008, 2009) As you can see, even ln raLs, when you remove whaL ls a hard-wlred naLural
process of emoLlonal calm and emoLlonal connecLlon from a feedlng and food experlence, you
creaLe Lhe opposlLe effecLs - and creaLe Lhese effecLs ln all Lhree realms of Lhe Lrlangle of
awareness - menLally, emoLlonally, and behavlorally. So whaL do you Lhlnk Lhe ramlflcaLlons
are golng Lo be ln Lhe human energy fleld when you Lry Lo do Lhe same Lhlng done Lo Lhese
raLs?
All specles wlll Lry Lo allevlaLe sLress and emoLlonal anxleLy. lf Lhls sLress and anxleLy ls comlng
from a desLrucLlve food experlence, you wlll Lry Lo allevlaLe lL Lhere as well. 1haL ls why Lhe raLs
resorLed Lo blnge-eaLlng. 8uL Lhen, llke Lhe raLs, humans sLarL Lo confuse Lhe emoLlonal
connecLlon. 1he emoLlonal connecLlon ls meanL Lo come from a calm and comforLlng 'feedlng'
experlence - noL from Lhe food lLself. 8uL when you remove food you llke, Lhen llke Lhe raLs,
you confuse Lhe emoLlonal connecLlon as comlng from Lhe food lLself. And Lhen you eaL ln a
frenzled way because of Lhe anxleLy aLLached Lo Lhlnklng you are noL supposed Lo" eaL Lhese
foods. 8uL Lhen you are now lefL wlLh anoLher paradox of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. now, you aLLach
emoLlonal comforL Lo Lhe lnanlmaLe ob[ecL of Lhe food lLself. Powever, aL Lhe same Llme, you
also emoLlonally aLLach sLress and anxleLy" Lo LhaL exacL same food. Pow ls Lhls supposed Lo
noL puL your mlnd ln a sLruggle agalnsL lLself? So, lnsLead of a naLural emoLlonal aLLachmenL Lo
a calm feedlng experlence, you aLLach comforL Lo Lhe food lLself (aL Lhe same Llme you aLLach
sLress and anxleLy). 8uL Lhls ls noL naLural. LvenLually, Lhrough Lhls process you come Lo learn
LhaL Lhe comforL of food" cannoL lasL. Pow can lL? lL's noL bullL on anyLhlng lasLlng. ?ou can'L
be comforLed by a Lhlng" and sLressed by lL" aL Lhe same Llme and expecL Lhls Lo lasL
psychologlcally. keep ln mlnd LhaL Lhe lnlLlal emoLlonal connecLlon you have comes along 'wltb'
food, buL noL 'ftom' food. WhaL you really seek ln Lhls dlsLorLed equaLlon ls a comforLed and
comforLable soul. ?ou need Lo make Lhe connecLlon LhaL Lhls level of experlence comes from
Lhe feedlng process and how you acL wlLhln lL - lL doesn'L come from food lLself. 1herefore ln
regards Lo food, you cannoL 'buy' Lhls level of experlence. lL doesn'L exlsL ln cheap food, ln fasL
food, or ln lnsLanL food. lL doesn'L exlsL ln Lhe LasLe buds of your mouLh or ln Lhe conLenLs of
your sLomach Lhen elLher, does lL? As you can see ln Lhe sLudy wlLh raLs, [usL removlng Lhelr
favorlLe foods creaLed anxleLy and sLress and Lhen behavloral anomalles assoclaLed wlLh food
and eaLlng. So, aL a hlgher level of lnLelllgence, whaL do you suppose are Lhe ramlflcaLlons
lnvolved when you dlcLaLe Lo 'people' Lo remove speclflc foods Lhey may llke and wanL, from
Lhelr dleL - and lnslnuaLe Lo Lhem, LhaL lf Lhey do noL - or lf Lhey cannoL malnLaln Lhls level of
denlal - Lhen Lhey should 'feel bad' abouL Lhemselves? WhaL do you suppose Lhe behavloral
ramlflcaLlons are golng Lo be for you once you embrace Lhls klnd of dleL-menLallLy?

www.scoLLabel.com
S7

lurLhermore, Lhese raLs are noL surrounded by consLanL food messages of LempLlng
lndulgences elLher. Pow do you, as a human, negoLlaLe Lhe consLanL and abundanL cholces you
have for lndulgences - and aL Lhe same Llme dlsconnecL from your very naLural emoLlonal
connecLlon Lo Lhe feedlng process? WhaL happens ls you Lransfer" Lhls connecLlon Lo food
lLself, and Lhen you dlsLorL lLs level of lmporLance ln your Lhlnklng and feellng braln. And Lhe
only Lhlng Lhls can lead Lo ls greaLer sLress and anxleLy wlLhln you. And a sLudy of Lhe hlsLory of
dleLs and dleLlng, lllusLraLes Lhls Lo be Lrue.
Whlle researchlng Lo wrlLe Lhls book l came across Lhls quoLe from Lhe 1800's - almosL 200
years ago. 5elJom Joes o sweet tempetomeot ooJ o Jletloq-womoo evet exlst lo tbe some sklo
ooJ ooJet tbe some toof." WhaL we wlLness here ls almosL Lwo cenLurles of Lhe prevalllng myLh
LhaL you can work agalnsL Lhe naLural lncllnaLlons of Lhe body and lLs Lles Lo Lhe emoLlonal
realm of awareness. 1rylng Lo do so makes you mlserable, lL creaLes sLress and anxleLy, ln Lhe
exacL arena where sLress and anxleLy should be reduced because of your emoLlonal
connecLlons of calm and sooLhlng energy wlLhln Lhe behavlor of eaLlng. And ln Lhls quoLe, you
Lhe dleLer, become sLressed-ouL [usL llke CoLLone's raLs. Cnly you also sLress ouL Lhe people
around you as well. uoesn'L Lhls sound famlllar? And doesn'L Lhls sound llke a process you
repeaL agaln and agaln? And doesn'L Lhls reallLy become even more rldlculous when you reallze
Lhls sLaLemenL was made 200 years ago - and yeL Lhe dleL-menLallLy sLlll prevalls as a supposed
soluLlon" for long-Lerm welghL-conLrol?
As l wrlLe Lhls Loday lL ls 1hanksglvlng uay ln Canada. Cne of my flrsL emalls LhaL came ln Lhls
mornlng reflecLs Lhe anxleLy creaLed by Lhe dleL-menLallLy - when Lhe dleL-menLallLy collldes
wlLh holldays and evenLs LhaL use food as parL of celebraLlon. 1he sub[ecL llne of Lhe emall was
LlLled wottleJ".
Coach -please help.
Cood mornlng coach.
l dldn'L eaL greaL lasL nlghL and lL's really boLherlng me.
l had a loL of frulL, granola, and yogurLs. Llke 3 apples, 3 yogurLs, a blg bowl of Cheerlos.
l don'L know why l dld lL. l'm upseL wlLh myself and worrled.
l'm aL Lhe coLLage bLw and all everyone does up here ls eaL. lf l was home l know Lhls wouldn'L
have happened. 8uL lL's noL llke l even had mashed poLaLoes and Lurkey dlnner. l was good
Lhrough Lhe dlnner. !usL afLer.
ls Lhls golng Lo affecL anyLhlng? l'm back Lo normal Loday.

Sorry Lo boLher u on a hollday coach l [usL can'L geL lL off my mlnd now.

www.scoLLabel.com
S8

LeL's go Lhrough Lhls llne by llne. noLlce how Lhe flrsL llne she sLaLes LhaL she dldn'L eaL greaL"
whlch slgnlfles LhaL whaL she eaLs ls always a maLLer of emoLlonal [udgmenL she has abouL
herself. 1hen she llsLs Lhe Lhlngs she aLe, because Lhe dleL-menLallLy leaves you hyper-focused
on Lhe 'eaL Lhls noL LhaL' lle LhaL lL perpeLuaLes. She doesn'L know why" she dld lL - buL Lhe
resulL ls, [usL llke Lhe raLs, she ls upseL and worrled" -LranslaLlon, sLressed" abouL lL. She's so
sLressed LhaL she wroLe me for help and counsel over lL. She Lhen makes Lhe sLaLemenL LhaL she
dldn'L even have Lhe Lurkey dlnner and Lrlmmlngs, she [usL over-aLe and blnged laLer-on. (And
Lhls ls very common) And worsL of all she can'L geL lL off her mlnd." So, she ls obsessed wlLh
dleL, conLrolled by dleL, and emoLlonally anxlous because of dleL. And of course she cannoL
make Lhe assoclaLlon LhaL her mlnd cannoL reconclle LhaL everyone else ls emoLlonally
comforLed and connecLed Lo a 1hanksglvlng experlence LhaL uses food as parL of a celebraLlon.
She Lhlnks Lhe reason she blnged was because of all Lhe food Lhere. 8uL Lhe real reason she
blnged ls a loL llke Lhe raLs ln CoLLone's research above. Per mlnd cannoL deal wlLh Lhe
emoLlonal dlsconnecL LhaL dlcLaLes Lo her Lo be sLressed abouL food aL Lhe exacL same momenL
oLher people she loves are uslng food as a poslLlve and en[oyable self-connecLlng, and
soclallzlng experlence. Per problem ls noL belng around people who are eaLlng. Per problem ls
her own dlsLorLlons of Lhe dleL-menLallLy, and Lhe ways lL makes her emoLlonally ampllfled and
sLressed abouL food concerns - and Lhe unnaLural way Lhls makes her Lhlnk and [udge her own
eaLlng behavlor" - behavlor LhaL ls meanL Lo be emoLlonally connecLed ln a calm and sooLhlng
way. She flLs exacLly Lhe proflle of Lhe quoLe made from 200 years ago. 1hls ls [usL more proof
and more example of Lhe perennlal fallure of Lhe dleL-menLallLy.
...
1he Lvo|ved 8ra|n and 1he Lvo|ved Metabo||sm and 1he|r ke|at|onsh|p 1o D|et and D|et|ng
1he dleL-menLallLy becomes Lhe defaulL poslLlon of people aLLempLlng Lo dleL, because you [usL
aren'L aware of Lhe reallLles of how your braln and how your meLabollsm evolved for Lhe
survlval of Lhe human specles. Cnce you clearly undersLand how your braln works auLomaLlcally
ln Lerms of Lhe presence of food - and once you undersLand Lhe reallLles of Lhe blology of
welghL-conLrol - you can Lhen undersLand why and how Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls desLrucLlve Lo you.
unLll you do so, you wlll llkely conLlnue Lo allow yourself Lo adapL Lhe self-desLrucLlve dleL-
menLallLy Lo Lry Lo focus on food, and whaL you do and do noL eaL, as a way Lo conLrol or lose
welghL. And Lhls wlll noL work ln Lhe long-Lerm.(l suggesL for a more ln-depLh comprehenslon of
Lhese Lwo Loplcs, you check ouL my book 8eyond Metabo||sm: Understand|ng our Modern
D|et D||emma" hLLp://blL.ly/e9hkq8

www.scoLLabel.com
S9

Pumans evolved much llke oLher mammals. 1he survlval of Lhe flLLesL ln Lerms of Lhe human
specles had noLhlng Lo do wlLh slze and sLrengLh, buL wlLh cleverness and lngenulLy. Specles
LhaL evolved and survlved were Lhe ones who were mosL adapLable Lo Lhelr envlronmenLs.
Pumans were cerLalnly noL as fasL and noL as sLrong and noL as vlclous as Lhelr anlmal
counLerparLs. And human lnfanLs were especlally vulnerable Lo be preyed upon. 1he Lwo mosL
fundamenLal needs for human survlval were food and shelLer. 1herefore Lhe pursulL of boLh ls
lngralned lnLo Lhe evolved human braln. Many of Lhe ways man adapLed Lo hls envlronmenL
was because he was menLally focused - consLanL and vlgllanL ln hls pursulL of food. 1he flrsL
Lools and weapons developed were noL so much for defense as Lhey were for flndlng and
securlng food. lL ls hard-wlred lnLo your evolved braln, as lL ls for mosL anlmals - Lo seek food -
Lo see food - and Lo have and consume Lhe food you see. 1hls ls a fundamenLal cerebral drlve
lnslde you. ?ou can'L [usL lgnore lL because Lhe dleL-menLallLy Lells you Lo. 1haL ls noL raLlonal
and lL's noL reallsLlc. And evenLually lL wlll fall. Cnly Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd LhaL elevaLes
you beyond Lhe sub[ecL of food, can help you downplay Lhls prlmal drlve you have Lo pursue
food and have lL.
now conslder Lhls as well. ?our evolved braln makes food a speclflc prlorlLy ln you. lL's
auLomaLlc. And Lhls prlorlLy ls nC1 Lo lgnore food, or reslsL food. 1hls prlmal drlve LhaL exlsLs
lnslde every human ls Lo see food - Lhen have and consume LhaL food. So how do you suppose
Lhe dleL-menLallLy can ever work when lL dlcLaLes Lo you Lo pay even more aLLenLlon Lo Lhe
concepL of food, buL Lo lgnore and reslsL lL aL Lhe same Llme? lL ls [usL noL ln your naLure Lo do
so. 1he dleL-menLallLy caLers Lo Lhe evolved braln, LhaL Lells you Lo see food and geL lL" - buL
whlle Lhe dleL-menLallLy llghLs up Lhls area of your braln - lL Lhen Lells you Lo only eaL Lhls noL
LhaL" - and Lo worry and sLress over a prlmal urge LhaL you cannoL conLrol. Pow does Lhls make
any sense? WlLhouL Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd Lo make sense of Lhls conLradlcLlon you can
only fall ln adapLlng Lhe dleL-menLallLy because Lhe dleL-menLallLy lLself ls faulLy.
We were never meanL Lo llve wlLh such food abundance. lL's a vlrLual assaulL on Lhe evolved
braln. ?our braln sLlll wanLs Lo see food and have lL" regardless of Lhe comforL and
convenlence and abundance of food ln your llfe. Moreover, your braln evolved Lo pay aLLenLlon
Lo food cues around you. lL was anoLher one of Lhe human survlval lnsLlncLs - Lo use Lhe senses
Lo seek ouL food and Lo be hyper-aLLenLlve Lo Lhe presence of any food source. 1hls ls a prlmal
lnsLlncLual drlve of Lhe human evolved braln. lL doesn'L [usL dlsappear because food ls all
around you. lood manufacLurers know Lhls. 1hey've been sLudylng for decades how Lo use food
Lo appeal Lo your naLural drlve Lo 'pay aLLenLlon' Lo Lhe presence of food. 1hls ls how Lhey geL
you Lo buy Lhelr food producL vs. some oLher food producL. lL ls also why vlsual food adverLlslng
ouLnumbers all oLher klnds of adverLlslng on an enormous scale.

www.scoLLabel.com
60

A consequence of all of Lhls ls LhaL your evolved braln responds Lo overeaLlng ln a way LhaL can
'help' you Lo 'feel bettet' ln Lhe momenL (Lhls ls a prlmal reward value) - however, Lhls comes
wlLh Lhe consequence of noL learnlng how Lo 'bettet feel' ln Lhe long-Lerm sense ln regards Lo
emoLlonal peace of mlnd and calm sLaLus quo comforL wlLhln yourself. 1he food lndusLry has
made an arL ouL of caplLallzlng on Lhls facL. So now you are noL only up agalnsL your own
human evoluLlon -> Lo see food and pursue and have lL -> buL now you are also sub[ecL Lo Lhe
blg buslness bombardmenL of consLanL appeal Lo enLlclng Lhls parL of your braln Lo pay
aLLenLlon - and Lherefore Lo 'wanL' any glven food aL any glven Llme. lL's Loo much Lo ask your
mlnd Lo Lurn off" Lhls lnnaLe swlLch. 1he besL you can do ls Lo Lurn down lLs volume and
lnLenslLy. 1he dleL-menLallLy Lurns up boLh - Lhe self-compasslonaLe-mlnd helps you Lo dlmlnlsh
Lhe lnfluence of all Lhese Lrlggers for food ln your llfe. 8ecause Lhe self-compasslonaLe-mlnd ls
abouL focuslng more 'on' your llfe - and noL Lhe role food plays wlLhln lL. And LhaL ls how you
feel bettet and bettet feel a sense of calm wlLhln yourself.
And whlle your braln evolved Lo see food, wanL lL, geL lL, eaL lL" - your body evolved ln a
dlfferenL way. lor mosL of human exlsLence, food was noL LhaL avallable, and cerLalnly noL
wlLhouL a huge calorlc energy expendlLure ln securlng lL and preparlng lL. noL only dld human
specles survlval depend on Lhe braln evolvlng so LhaL Lhe pursulL of food became Lhe maln drlve
and prlorlLy - buL Lhe human body also had Lo evolve ln a way LhaL could survlve Lhe lnlLlal
scarclLy of food sources and abundance. ?our human braln evolved Lo pursue and wanL food
and Lo be emoLlonally connecLed Lo havlng Lhe feedlng experlence feel" good. 8uL your human
body evolved Lo flghL agalnsL welghL-loss and Lo be able Lo sLore any excess calorles ln order Lo
endure Lhe lack of avallablllLy of food down Lhe road - or for all Lhe energy consumpLlon
requlred Lo pursue food sources and aLLaln Lhem. 1here were no frldges and sLoves and
mlcrowaves and grocery sLores ln Lhe Llme perlod where man's braln and meLabollsm evolved
for survlval flrsL - deslre lasL. ln facL Lhe only Lhlng man deslred aL Lhls sLage of developmenL
was food and shelLer. Pe dldn'L deslre sLuff and he dldn'L deslre, 'LasLy' food and oLher
comforLs. Pe deslred survlval. ueslre was Lled Lo survlval. 1haL was Lhe full exLenL of deslre.
1haL ls whaL man knew. And LhaL ls how your braln and body evolved - regardless of Lhe
reallLles of modern food abundance.
So Lhe fundamenLal dleL crlsls LhaL ls acLually Lrue ls Lhe crlsls of evoluLlon. 1he modern world
of food abundance and convenlence and cholce ls [usL noL compaLlble wlLh Lhe human evolved
lnsLlncLual drlves for survlval. ?our braln's prlmal drlve ls sLlll Lo see food, and have lL." And Lhe
human braln ls parLlcularly aLLracLed Lo Lhe mosL calorles dense foods. our bra|n evolved Lo be
aLLracLed Lo foods hlgh ln faL and sugar. 1hls ls a blologlcal facL. Powever, aL Lhe same Llme,
your human body evolved Lo sLore excess energy and Lo flqbt oqolost beloq leoo. 1hls ls also a
blologlcal facL. ?our braln was never deslgned Lo regulaLe your eaLlng. Agaln, [usL llke mosL

www.scoLLabel.com
61

mammals your braln's prlmal drlve ls see fooJ, woot lt, bove lt." 1hls ls a survlval-prlorlLy. So,
Lo Lhlnk you are 'weak' Lo be seduced by modern food adverLlslng, abundance, and lndulgenL
food creaLlons - ls Lo be fundamenLally mlslnformed abouL Lhe reallLles of your body and braln
evoluLlon.
...
1he seL polnL sysLem of welghL-conLrol and balance ls complex, and lL's senslLlve. lL ls parL of
Lhe overall meLabollc compensaLlon sysLem. ?our body regulaLes your welghL and eaLlng
Lhrough Lwo maln mechanlsms, and Lhese are noL separaLe, alLhough Lhey can be. 1) 1he raLe
aL whlch Lhe body 'naLurally' uses up energy - Lhls ls called Lhe meLabollc raLe. And 2) Lhe
experlence of feellng hungry or noL feellng hungry - Lhls ls called Lhe hunger-saLleLy sysLem.
And as you can see, ln Lerms of welghL-conLrol, nelLher of Lhese sysLems ls abouL nuLrlLlonal
knowledge aL all.
lurLhermore, your body dld nC1 evolve Lo cope wlLh prolonged perlods of sLarvaLlon,
overeaLlng, or lrregular eaLlng paLLerns. 1hese paLLerns - whaL we call Loday ?o-?o uleLlng"
over-rlde Lhe body's naLural ablllLy Lo conLrol and sLablllze your welghL. ?our dleL aLLempLs and
subsequenL dleL rebounds acLually seL up your very senslLlve lnLernal blologlcal welghL conLrol
sysLem Lo falLer and malfuncLlon. (lor more on Lhls read my book Metabo||c Damage and the
Dangers of D|et|ng.") hLLp://blL.ly/ungLC8. ln reference Lo your own meLabollc compensaLlon
sysLem - whlch ls parL of Lhe blology of welghL-conLrol - Lhe facL ls, your body can lose lLs
ablllLy Lo conLrol flnely Luned meLabollc or blologlcal mechanlsms lf Lhey are sub[ecLed Lo
conLlnuous abuse. And ?o-?o dleLlng ls lndeed one Lhese forms of conLlnuous abuse LhaL
Lhrows Lhe body's welghL-regulaLlng sysLems compleLely ouL of whack.
8ecause of your own dleL-menLallLy-lnduced psychology of eaLlng, you end up wlLh a menLal
pendulum LhaL swlngs Lo Lwo exLremes, buL ln dolng so, has dlsrupLlve physlologlcal
consequences. 1he more you overeaL - elLher ln sheer amounL or ln frequency -> Lhe longer
you aLLempL Lo endure under-eaLlng as a dleLlng soluLlon, once agaln confuslng welghL-loss
wlLh welghL-conLrol. 8uL Lhen, as you have no doubL experlenced - Lhe longer you under eaL,
Lhe more Lhe pendulum energy beglns Lo swlng back Lhe oLher way Lo overeaLlng agaln. 8uL
8C1P of Lhese scenarlos wlll lncrease your long-Lerm appeLlLe for eaLlng. And Lhls ls boLh a
blologlcal and a meLabollc response Lo Lhls swlnglng pendulum of faulLy eaLlng hablLs. And so
ofLen, Lhese faulLy eaLlng hablLs of overeaLlng and under eaLlng and back and forLh agaln and
agaln are creaLed wlLhln Lhe dleL-menLallLy and lLs flxaLlon on shorL-Lerm soluLlons. And lL's Lhls
menLallLy LhaL consLanLly confuses welghL-loss wlLh welghL-conLrol - so LhaL ln Lhe end, you
have nelLher one of Lhem - you can'L lose welghL wlLhouL galnlng lL back - and you can'L conLrol

www.scoLLabel.com
62

your welghL elLher. And ln Lhe back and forLh Llme-perlod of ?o-?olng" beLween overeaLlng
and under eaLlng you dlsrupL and affecL and wreak havoc on your meLabollc compensaLlon
sysLem LhaL conLrols welghL.
And Lhe greaLer your aLLempLs aL dleL-soluLlons Lo conLrol your welghL, Lhe more aLLenLlon you
end up glvlng Lo counLer-lnLulLlve physlcal cues llke hunger and cravlngs. 1he lrony of all of Lhls
ls LhaL Lhe greaLer your aLLempLs are Lo Lranscend your appeLlLes and welghL-conLrol lssues -
Lhe greaLer you wlll flnd you are conLrolled by your appeLlLes and welghL-conLrol lssues - and
nC1 seL free of Lhem. 1he blology of welghL-conLrol dlcLaLes LhaL you are golng Lo experlence
hunger, cravlngs, and appeLlLe. And you wlll experlence Lhese boLh physlologlcally and
psychologlcally. 8oLh your evolved braln and your physlcal connecLlons Lo meLabollc raLe and
Lhe hunger-saLleLy loop means you cannoL ever escape Lhese Lhlngs. 1hey are naLural parLs of
your prlmal lnsLlncLs for survlval. ?ou don'L [usL geL rld of Lhem." And you can'L [usL reslsL
Lhem." ?ou need Lo address Lhese Lhlngs as reallLles Lo your exlsLence. ?ou need Lo
acknowledge and accepL Lhem. lor lnsLance, acknowledge LhaL you have a cravlng and Lhen you
can also acknowledge LhaL Lhe feellng wlll fade [usL by acknowledglng lL - noL by Lrylng Lo reslsL
lL. ?our mlnd only lnLenslfles a message you are Lrylng Lo reslsL. Cne way or anoLher your
subconsclous mlnd wlll make you pay aLLenLlon Lo Lhese cues. 1hls ls anoLher mlsLake of Lhe
dleL-menLallLy. 1hlnk of Lhls a loL llke Lrafflc llghLs LhaL conLrol Lrafflc. When you geL Lo a red
llghL - you don'L focus on lL, and sLare aL lL, and Lry Lo reslsL lL, do you? no. ?ou [usL
acknowledge lL and from Lhere you need noL glve lL any more consclous aLLenLlon. Well Lhls ls
how speclflc Lrlggers" for appeLlLe-conLrol work ln you as well.
So, Lhls ls noL abouL your sudden lmpulses Lo blnge or a compulslon Lo wanL Lo Lry and deprlve
and sLarve yourself from food. 1hese Lhlngs only lnLenslfy Lhe Lrlggers and cues you are Lrylng
Lo geL rld of. lL's noL abouL Lhlnklng on your cravlngs or Lhlnklng LhaL you shouldn'L have Lhem.
ln Lhls modern world - ln conslderaLlon of Lhe evolved braln and how lL runs counLer Lo so
much food abundance - and how suscepLlble lL ls Lo Lhe sLlmulus of hyper-palaLable lndulgenL
foods - you musL have a dlfferenL Lhlnklng sLraLegy. ?ou need Lo make your Lhlnklng sLraLegy be
abouL whaL you are golng Lo do wlLh Lhese Lrlggers and lmpulses, because lL's a fool's game Lo
Lhlnk you can ever rld yourself of your cravlngs, appeLlLes, and hunger. ?our braln ls hard-wlred
Lo crave food when your body lsn'L geLLlng enough. And your braln ls also hard-wlred Lo noLlce
and pay aLLenLlon Lo food cues lf Lhey are presenL - [usL as your braln becomes adepL aL paylng
aLLenLlon Lo Lrafflc slgns and Lrafflc llghLs when you are on Lhe road. 8y Lrylng Lo reslsL Lhese
urges or chooslng Lo over-lndulge Lhem, you make Lhem sLronger ln boLh lnsLances. ?ou need
Lo reLraln your mlnd Lo accepL and acknowledge cravlngs and lmpulses, buL noL Lo Lhlnk you
need Lo do anyLhlng more abouL Lhem, Lhan Lo slmply menLally acknowledge Lhem. 8uL Lhls ls
dlfferenL Lhan emoLlonally lndulglng Lhem aL Lhe same Llme, whlch ls whaL your dleL-menLallLy

www.scoLLabel.com
63

leads you Lo do. locus your mlnd on oLher Lhlngs as you acknowledge a food cravlng or lmpulse,
and Lhen you evenLually dlmlnlsh Lhem and galn raLlonal conLrol of Lhem as well. And Lhls ls a
form of coqoltlve testtoctotloq" whlch ls also dlscussed ln greaLer depLh ln my book 8eyond
Metabo||sm." hLLp://blL.ly/e9hkq8
And your speclflc LasLes for speclflc foods and your speclflc weaknesses for speclflc foods need
Lo be addressed as well, because Lhls also creaLes a loL of 'cause and effecL' confuslon. Cnce
you undersLand braln Lrlggers and pleasure cenLers of Lhe braln assoclaLed wlLh eaLlng pleasure
and pleasurable eaLlng, Lhen Lhere ls a speclflc LruLh Lo face ln LhaL. lor lnsLance, you don'L eaL
sweeLs because you have a sweeL LooLh - you have a sweeL LooLh because you eaL sweeLs. And
Lhls can become very Lrlcky and dlfflculL Lo deal wlLh, especlally lf you don'L undersLand how
your braln works regardlng food appeal. lor lnsLance, you are led Lo belleve speclflc healLh
foods" are beLLer and healLhler for you. 8uL ofLen Lhese healLh foods are [usL ln facL faux
foods" - processed foods, made ln a planL, adverLlsed as healLhler" buL Lhese foods work on
Lhe pleasure cenLers of your braln Lhe same way sugar or a 'feel-good' drug would work on Lhe
oplold cenLer of your braln. So Lhese so-called healLhler faux foods can ofLen Lrlgger food-
deslres LhaL lead you asLray ln your dleL efforLs, even Lhough you Lhlnk you are 'dleLlng' or
eaLlng 'beLLer' by chooslng Lhem. roLeln powders and nuLrlLlon healLh bars for example - use
chemlcals Lo enhance LasLe and palaLablllLy LhaL are up Lo 130 x's sweeLer Lhan sugar. And Lhls
ls a dlrecL 'hlL' on Lhe oplold/addlcLlve/pleasure cenLer of Lhe braln. And whaL lL does from
Lhere ls lnduce and seduce your evolved braln Lo seek more of LhaL speclflc Lype of sLlmulaLlon.
ln oLher words, Lhese klnds of foods falsely [ack up your cravlngs ln volume and lnLenslLy. 1hlnk
of lL along Lhese llnes Lhen. An addlcL never craved cocalne or heroln or crysLal-meLh wlLhouL
flrsL havlng done Lhem. Cnly Lhe 'poLenLlal' for addlcLlon Lo Lhese speclflc Lhlngs exlsLed. 8uL
once Lhe reward cenLer of Lhe braln ls Lrlggered by consumpLlon of Lhese Lhlngs, lL's llke lgnlLlng
a spark wlLh gasollne. So unless your food rules address Lhls elemenL of braln chemlsLry - whlch
no dleLs ever do - Lhen your evolved braln ls golng Lo evenLually over-rlde Lhe 'dleL-aLLempL' -
because your braln ls hard-wlred Lo pay aLLenLlon Lo exLernal cues and sources of food - and
lnLernally-wlred Lo pursue foods LhaL llghL up Lhese reward cenLers of your braln. 1hls ls llke a
one-Lwo-punch of exLernal and lnLernal lnfluences LhaL falsely affecL your noLlons of cravlngs,
hunger, and appeLlLe.
1herefore your own sub[ecLlve sensaLlons of hunger do noL necessarlly mlrror a physlologlcal
need for food - noL ln Lhls modern envlronmenL of food abundance and enLlclng food messages
everywhere. 8uL Lhese food messages everywhere - as well as food abundance sLlmulus all
around you - can klck-ln, all your lnsLlncLlve drlves LhaL all mammals have Lo see food and
have lL." Moreover, lnLernally, once you glve your braln Lhe LasLe of hyper-palaLable food
creaLlons (foods hlgh ln faLs and sugar), Lhe braln never forgeLs Lhese foods, and you do lndeed

www.scoLLabel.com
64

'feel' Lhem as a Lype of physlologlcal reward or pleasure. 1herefore, whaL you conslder Lo be
hunger cues" are acLually ofLen [usL 'psychologlcal processlng' of your surroundlngs, or
'psychologlcal lnLerpreLaLlons' of whaL you Lhlnk are your body's needs, buL are nC1 your
body's octool needs. 1hls ls anoLher reason why learnlng how Lo ptopetly read your own
blofeedback can become so beneflclal - So you learn Lo reacL" less Lo psychologlcal
lnLerpreLaLlons - and learn Lo llsLen beLLer Lo acLual physlologlcal blofeedback cues and
sensaLlons. ?ou learn Lo ablde ln whaL your body ls Lelllng you regardlng hunger and appeLlLe -
and noL whaL your evolved braln ls dlrecLlng you Lo pay aLLenLlon Lo regardlng hunger and
appeLlLe. And Lhls can be a dlfflculL Lhlng Lo over-rlde.
Cnly your self-compasslonaLe mlnd ls golng Lo be able Lo reason you off Lhese Lypes of ledges
of emoLlonal lnfluence. And Lhese Lypes of food lnfluences are all around you and used Lo
manlpulaLe you all Lhe Llme, consclously and sub-consclously. We've already dlscussed how Lhe
food lndusLry does Lhls wlLh adverLlslng eLc. 8uL lL really ls pervaslve LhroughouL socleLy. lor
example, real esLaLe agenLs learned long-ago, when havlng an open house - Lo bake cookles
[usL before Lhe open-house hours. And Lhe goal of Lhls has noLhlng Lo do wlLh wheLher a
poLenLlal buyer wanLs Lo eaL cookles. 1he lnlLlal premlse was LhaL Lhe 'smell' of baked cookles,
ls assoclaLed wlLh comforL. And comforL ls assoclaLed wlLh home." So by baklng cookles before
an open-house, Lhe real-esLaLe agenL ls Lrylng Lo creaLe an lnfluence of golng beyond 'looklng aL
a house' - Lo 'experlenclng a feellng of a home.' And Lhls ls done subLly by baklng cookles and
uslng Lhe aroma, Lo appeal Lhe pleasure cenLers of your braln LhaL you assoclaLe wlLh emoLlonal
reward and comforL. So Lhe way food and food cues can be used Lo lnfluence you are lnflnlLe,
and beyond whaL you can ever consclously conLrol. ?our dleL-menLallLy wlll Lend Lo make you
even more suscepLlble Lo Lhese klnds of Lrlggers. Cnly a self-compasslonaLe mlndseL wlll pay
less aLLenLlon and puL less lmporLance on Lhese pervaslve food lnfluences - boLh exLernally and
lnLernally. Pow? - 8ecause you focus on oLher Lhlngs unrelaLed Lo food and dleL and welghL-
conLrol. So you leL go of Lhe klnd of Lhlnklng LhaL lmprlsons you wlLhln Lhe dleL-menLallLy.
...
1he whole of Lhe argumenL above ouLllnes all Lhese subLle and noL so subLle forces LhaL are
worklng agalnsL your aLLempLs Lo dleL your way Lo welghL-conLrol. 1here ls [usL Loo much golng
on psychologlcally and lnsLlncLually Lo Lhlnk LhaL 'dleLlng' ls a soluLlon Lo long-Lerm welghL-
conLrol. 8uL whaL abouL dleLlng lLself? WhaL abouL Lhe physlologlcal effecLs of dleLlng? And
whaL abouL Lhe relaLed effecLs of always equaLlng dleLlng" wlLh body-consclousness" and
scale-welghL?" Why lsn'L anyone ln Lhe dleL and welghL-loss lndusLry dlscusslng Lhe
ramlflcaLlons of Lhese lssues? 1o my mlnd even Lhe name welqbt wotcbets" slgnlfles exacLly
whaL ls wrong wlLh lL as a so-called soluLlon for long-Lerm welghL-coottol - when all lL really

www.scoLLabel.com
6S

represenLs ls a shorL-Lerm aLLempL" aL welghL-loss. And Lhe Lerm lLself denoLes and underllnes
Lhe dleL-menLallLy ln full force - WelghL WaLchers" - 1he message -> Lo 'waLch' or be focused
on 'welghL' consclously and sub-consclously and relenLlessly. All Lhls does ls relnforce Lhe 'sLress
and pressure' faulLy emoLlonallLy of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. And ls LhaL your goal Lhen? - 1o waLch
and focus on your welghL for a llfe-Llme? lf so, Lhen Lhe quesLlon begs: whaL oLher more
worLhy Lhlngs are you squeezlng ouL of your dally Lhlnklng reglmen ln order Lo make waLchlng"
your welghL a prlorlLy?" ls lL worLh lL? Can lL even work? Cf course lL can'L. And yeL, lf l had a
dlme for every Llme l heard someone under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe dleL-menLallLy say Ch l dld
WLIGn1 WA1CnLkS and lL's really worked for me, 3 or 4 Llmes now. l [usL need Lo geL back on lL,
sLarLlng Monday" - PLLLC! ls anybody ln Lhere? lf you cannoL susLaln a dleL, Lhen lL doesn'L
work - L8lCu. 8uL lL does relnforce Lhe shorL-Lerm-focus Lype of Lhlnklng of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy. And lL conLlnues Lo relnforce ln you Lo confuse shorL-Lerm welghL-loss aLLempLs wlLh
long-Lerm welghL-conLrol.
And Lhen whaL abouL Lhe focus on your body and on your body-welghL - as represenLed by a
number on a scale"? Pow ls LhaL level of focus healLhy for you, menLally or emoLlonally? now,
ln Lerms of a reasonable goal - susLalnable leanness ls a reallsLlc alm Lo have, for sure. 8uL
almlng for absoluLe levels of leanness ls always golng Lo have negaLlve physlologlcal and
psychologlcal repercusslons. And 'susLalnable' leanness ls golng Lo be dlfferenL for everyone.
Lveryone ls llkely Lo have a dlfferlng body-welghL seL polnL, a dlfferlng level of flexlblllLy on
meLabollc reslllence - ln Lerms of how much welghL you can lose and malnLaln. And everyone ls
golng Lo have a dlfferenL scale-welghL LhaL represenLs healLh, vlLallLy, and susLalnablllLy" lC8
?Cu. 1herefore, almlng for numbers" on a scale or percenL body faL noL only confuses Lhe
lssues, buL can cause many of Lhese lssues as well. - welqbt wotcbets" lndeed!
1he besL way Lo become overwelghL, proven ln sLudy afLer sLudy (see reference secLlon)- ls Lo
become a serlal-dleLer. 1hls fundamenLal LruLh ls noL ln dlspuLe among real experLs. And yeL,
lsn'L Lhls exacLly whaL Lhe dleL-lndusLry seeks Lo creaLe? 1ruLhfully, Lhe dleL and welghL-loss
lndusLry should be held accounLable and sued ln a class-acLlon sulL for causlng" welghL galn
and body-lmage lssues lL preLends Lo correcL and solve. 1he LruLh ls Lhese lndusLry glanLs don'L
wanL you Lo permanenLly lose welghL! 1hey wanL and need you Lo permanenLly keep dleLlng, or
Lrylng Lo. 1hls way you conLlnue belng one of Lhelr cllenLs for Lhe long-Lerm. And you can only
be a long-Lerm cllenL of Lhe welghL-loss lndusLry lf you keep falllng aL your dleL-aLLempLs Lo lose
and conLrol your welghL. 1he lndusLry doesn'L so much care lf you hop from !enny Cralg, Lo
nuLrlSysLem, Lo WelghL-WaLchers, and back agaln. 1haL ls a mlnor concern for Lhem. 1hey only
really care LhaL you conLlnue Lo Lhlnk LhaL dleLlng" and a dleLlng-sysLem - ls 'Lhe' soluLlon for
your welghL-loss and welghL-conLrol lssues. 1hls way, you conLlnue belng a cllenL for Lhe long-
Lerm, even Lhough you never ever reach your goal - and you never ever feel beLLer abouL

www.scoLLabel.com
66

yourself because of lL! 1he only Lhlng Lhe dleL and welghL-loss lndusLry can Lruly serve - ls
relnforclng ln you Lhe self-desLrucLlve foundaLlon of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. 8uL no 'dleL by
deprlvaLlon' menLallLy ls ever golng Lo work for Lhe long-Lerm.
A sLudy from 1ufL's unlverslLy lllusLraLes [usL one example. ln a falrly long-Lerm sLudy, longer
Lhan Lhe so-called sLudles" used by Lhe welghL-loss lndusLry glanLs - 1ufL's unlverslLy
researchers deLermlned LhaL nCnL of Lhe common dleL sLraLegles were superlor Lo any oLher
one. 8uL, ALL Cl 1PLM lAlL ln Lerms of long-Lerm susLalnablllLy. ln facL, by Lhe end of one year
of underLaklng a dleL, 30 of dleLers ln Lhe sLudy had qulL. 1hls should serve noLlce LhaL
anoLher dleL ls nLvL8 golng Lo be Lhe answer. 1hls sLudy also hlnLs aL how dleLlng does noL
work wlLh your evolved braln and how lL processes maLLers of food-awareness and eaLlng
behavlor. All Lhese dleL-aLLempLs do ls creaLe a baLLle you have wlLhln yourself. And Lhls ls a
baLLle you are unllkely Lo wln ln Lhls modern world of food cholce and abundance. lor example,
ln a dlfferenL sLudy, dleL and welghL-conLrol experL ur. Wlll Clower showed LhaL whlle
ellmlnaLlng carbs from your dleL may produce shorL-Lerm welghL-loss, LhaL lnlLlal 10 lbs. of
welghL losL, evenLually becomes 20 lbs. of welghL re-galned. (See ur. Wlll Clower, 2006) 8uL
whaL effecL does Lhls have on Lhe way you Lhlnk and process Lhese resulLs wlLhln your dleL-
menLallLy and lLs faulLy shorL-Lerm emphasls? See, you sLarL one of Lhese dleLs LhaL emphaslze
eaL Lhls noL LhaL" - ln Lhls case, do nC1 eaL carbs. lnlLlally, you lose some welghL by dolng so.
?our dleL-menLallLy and lLs shorL-Lerm Lhlnklng emphasls processes Lhls as progress" and
resulLs" and success." ?ou can'L even conslder LhaL Lhls may be a slgn of poLenLlal
consequences" as well. Locked lnLo Lo such shorL-Lerm llmlLed Lhlnklng, you percelve fuLure
welghL-galn as personal fallure, lnsLead of an lnevlLablllLy from dleLlng Lhe wrong way. So your
dleL-menLallLy dlcLaLes Lo you LhaL you know" ellmlnaLlng carbs works" because you losL
welghL dolng so way back when. 8uL you are percepLually bllnd Lo Lhe reallLy LhaL welghL losL
Lhls way - ls whaL caused you Lo galn back all your welghL and even more. ?ou can'L see lL. So
your dleL-menLallLy Lells you Lo go back Lo Lhe exacL Lhlng LhaL preclplLaLed Lhe welghL-galn Lo
begln wlLh. Pow does Lhls make any sense? And yeL Lhls ls exacLly how Lhe dleL-menLallLy plays
ouL for mllllons of people every slngle day - every slngle year.
?ou see your body works on a bettet sofe tboo sotty" prlnclple. 1hls means lf you lose a
slgnlflcanL amounL of welghL and Lhen go back Lo eaLlng normally agaln, your body-welghL seL
polnL goes up Lo allow you Lo galn more welghL ln defense of fuLure famlne. (8emember, your
body evolved Lo llCP1 ACAlnS1 WLlCP1-LCSS) 1hls ls anoLher blologlcal and meLabollc
explanaLlon why, on average, Lhe more you dleL, Lhe heavler you wlll geL, as a consequence of
LhaL dleL - especlally Lhese lll-concelved dleLs by deprlvaLlon. (See my book Metabo||c Damage
and the Dangers of D|et|ng for more on Lhls as well) hLLp://blL.ly/ungLC8.)

www.scoLLabel.com
67

And ofLen Lhere are serlous psychologlcal ramlflcaLlons and consequences of repeaLed dleL
cycles of success and fallure as well. ?ou become emoLlonally exhausLed and emoLlonally
frusLraLed. ?ou end up ln Lhls unexplalnable psychologlcal post-Jlet-compeosotloo-teslstooce-
syoJtome." ?ou sLarL mlndless snacklng, nlbbllng, cheaLlng, grazlng, noshlng, over-eaLlng, ofLen
even blngelng when you are Lrylng Lo eaL healLhy agaln afLer exLreme dleLlng or long-Lerm
dleLlng Lo no avall. ?ou bulld up a psychologlcal defense and denlal Lo ever golng back Lo Lhe
all or noLhlng" Lypes of dleLs LhaL messed you up. 8uL lnsLead of psychologlcal and meLabollc
recovery - you keep saboLaglng yourself and your healLhy-eaLlng efforLs, buL you can'L
undersLand why. ?ou've bullL up such a Lremendous psychologlcal abhorrence and reslsLance Lo
ever golng back Lo varlous klnds of deprlvaLlon dleLs LhaL you can'L even allow yourself Lo
pursue normal and healLhy eaLlng paLLerns wlLhouL saboLaglng yourself. 8uL Lhls ls a very
predlcLable self-proLecLlng emoLlonal reacLlon compensaLlon. And lL can lasL for years. And Lhls
syndrome" ls prolonged and sLrengLhened by even enLerLalnlng a noLlon LhaL yeL anoLher dleL
ls Lhe soluLlon Lo lL. Slnce dleLlng ls whaL caused lL. And psychologlcally now - lL's Lhe noLlon of
dleLlng aL all - ln any way, shape, or form - LhaL your psychlc energy flnds so repulslve. And lL
seems you are ln a no-wln menLal and emoLlonal slLuaLlon. ?our dleL-menLallLy has led Lo an
evenLual psychologlcal averslon Lo dleLlng aL all. 8uL Lhls leads Lo behavloral saboLage of even
healLhy dleL" efforLs (eaLlng rlghL wlLhouL dleLlng). And because your dleL-menLallLy ls all you
know and undersLand abouL welghL-loss" you sLarL Lhlnklng LhaL only anoLher dleL
commlLmenL wlLh rlgld rules ln place ls whaL ls golng Lo sLop you from conLlnulng Lo saboLage
yourself. And Lhen Lhe cycle conLlnues and lnLenslfles. Cnly Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlndseL ls
golng Lo eradlcaLe Lhls bullL-up averslon Lo dleLs by deprlvaLlon. lf you can accepL Lhls and
undersLand Lhls - Lhen you are on Lhe road Lo recovery and healLhy eaLlng behavlor. 8uL Lhls
can Lake Llme. 1here are no dleL-menLallLy 12 week soluLlon Lypes of answers once Lhls level of
psychologlcal damage ensues. And lnsLlLuLlng Lhlrd-parL help may be requlred as well - because
your defaulL mlndseL ls sLlll llkely Lo be your dleL-menLallLy. Lven your reslsLance of LhaL
menLallLy, lndlcaLes lL ls sLlll presenL and conLrolllng you. And Lhese are [usL a few of Lhe
ramlflcaLlons and consequences once you adapL and lnLernallze Lhe dleL-menLallLy.
And Lhere are all klnds of oLher lndlrecL effecLs LhaL dleLs have on you psychologlcally and
physlologlcally. lor example, Lhe maLLer of sleep also enLers lnLo all of Lhls. 1he quallLy of your
sleep can affecL Lhe welghL-conLrol sysLems of checks and balances lnslde your body. And Lhls
can become a vlclous clrcle of consequences caused by dleLlng as well. roblems wlLh naLural
sleep paLLerns and dlsrupLed sleep are very common among dleLers. 8uL sleep deprlvaLlon has
pronounced effecLs on appeLlLe and appeLlLe conLrol. And aL Lhe same Llme, sleep deprlvaLlon
or dlsrupLed sleep can of course also weaken your wlll. 1hls ls why lL ls sLlll one of Lhe Lop
lnLerrogaLlon Lechnlques used around Lhe world. So, you have a slLuaLlon where Lhe dleL leads

www.scoLLabel.com
68

Lo sleep deprlvaLlon, and sleep deprlvaLlon makes lL harder and harder Lo dleL. Cnce agaln, Lhls
cannoL ever be a wlnnlng formula ln Lhe real world of long-Lerm welghL-conLrol. Agaln, a dleL
musL serve Lhe body" and be susLalnable." Any dleL underLaklng LhaL leads Lo sleep
dlsrupLlons and lack of quallLy of sleep ls a dleL LhaL does nelLher of Lhese Lwo Lhlngs.
Moreover Lhese ouLslde-ln dleL rules slmply are noL effecLlve when lL comes Lo human
blofeedback. Meal-Llmlng for lnsLance ls an over-played elemenL ln Lhe world of dleLlng and
welghL-loss sysLems. 1here ls ofLen Lhls advlce Lo noL eaL anyLhlng afLer a speclflc Llme.(an
exLernal dlcLum) 8uL proper meal-Llmlng has llLLle Lo do wlLh Lhe clock on Lhe wall and
everyLhlng Lo do wlLh Lhe blology of welghL-conLrol.(an lnLernal reallLy) lor lnsLance belng Lold
noL Lo eaL afLer a cerLaln clock-Llme, can ofLen mean golng Lo bed Loo hungry. 1he resulL of Lhls
ls all Lhe sleep lssues menLloned above. 1he dleL-menLallLy ls slmply Loo one-dlmenslonal Lo
undersLand all Lhe varlous lnfluences and effecLs LhaL food has on Lhe body. Colng Lo bed Loo
hungry ls never golng Lo work. 1he presence of food also affecLs braln chemlsLry and
neuroLransmlLLers LhaL are calmlng and relaxlng for you. WlLhouL Lhem - and wlLh an empLy
sLomach you cannoL force yourself Lo relax and fall asleep. 8uL wlLh Lhe presence of enough
food and enough blood-sugar Lo cross Lhe blood-braln barrler, you lncrease seroLonln levels
enough Lo relax naLurally and fall asleep. So once agaln conslderlng dleL only as an ouLslde-ln
calorles balance for welghL-loss, ls myoplc and bllnd Lo fundamenLal reallLles of Lhe blology of
welghL conLrol.
And Lhen Lhere are culLural elemenLs Lo conslder as well. We all grow up wlLh culLural
lnfluences LhaL can deflne food preferences and eaLlng hablLs. 1hls elemenL of 'cognlLlve
mapplng' musL be consldered when underLaklng any long-Lerm eaLlng sLraLegy for welghL-
conLrol. 1he dleL-menLallLy never conslders such emoLlonal connecLlons wlLh food. 1herefore
Lhe dleL-menLallLy remalns [usL far Loo llmlLed and far Loo one-dlmenslonal Lo be able Lo help
very many people wlLh real-world susLalnable welghL loss and welghL-conLrol.
...
lf you were Lo look aL all of Lhe above lnformaLlon of Lhls chapLer and puL lL ln Lhe conLexL of a
quesLlon and answer, Lhe quesLlon here would be - WhaL 'llloess' could posslbly lead Lo Lhese
followlng unuLSl8Lu nLCA1lvL physlologlcal consequences?" -> an lncrease of overall faL mass
over muscle mass - an lncrease ln faL cell slze and prollferaLlon - a decrease ln meLabollsm
comblned wlLh a decrease ln energy expended durlng exerclse - an lncrease ln Lhe Llme lL Lakes
Lo lose welghL - a decrease ln Lhe Llme lL Lakes Lo galn back losL welghL. And whaL ls Lhe cause
of all of Lhese undeslred physlologlcal and meLabollc responses? Answer -> ulL1lnC! As more
and more experLs are lllusLraLlng - dleLs do more Lo cause obeslLy and welghL galn Lhan Lo cure

www.scoLLabel.com
69

Lhem. So lf Lhls ls Lrue - Lhen why do ?Cu keep pursulng 'dleL-soluLlons' Lo welghL-conLrol
lssues? Answer -> 8ecause you have adapLed and lnLernallzed Lhe dleL-menLallLy and lLs one-
dlmenslonal LhoughL and feellng process abouL welghL. And how's LhaL workln for ya?
1he Lake-away lesson here ls LhaL aLLempLlng Lo alLer your body's naLural mechanlsms for
managlng your welghL can slgnlflcanLly desLroy, ruln, or lncapaclLaLe your body's ablllLy Lo
malnLaln lLs opLlmal and funcLlonal meLabollsm - and Lherefore Lo conLrol lLs welghL and
healLhy seL-polnL as well. uleL rebounds and hlgher body welghL seL-polnLs are only Lhe
beglnnlng of Lhe negaLlve consequences of conslsLenL and repeaLed aLLempLs of dleLs-by-
deprlvaLlon. 1hey slmply cannoL work - noL physlologlcally, and noL psychologlcally. And Lhe
conLradlcLory quesLlon sLlll exlsLs ln a culLural conLexL as well. Why ls lL and how ls lL LhaL ln Lhe
norLh Amerlcan culLure, people are dleLlng more and more buL are geLLlng faLLer and faLLer,
heavler and heavler? ?eL, Lhe lrench culLure who en[oy rlch and lndulgenL foods wlLhouL fear
and anxleLy - Lhese people don'L 'dleL' aL all and Lhey have no obeslLy problem or populaLlon of
lncreased faLness? lf we were Lo charL Lhls on a graph Lhen we would see a clear correlaLlon -
LhaL dleLlng culLures and populaLlons are assoclaLed wlLh lncreases ln welghL and body faL - and
culLures represenLed by populaLlons nC1 'dleLlng' are assoclaLed wlLh long-Lerm and
susLalnable healLhy welghL-conLrol. 1he only concluslon Lo all of Lhls ls LhaL Lhe ant|-dleL
approach Lo welghL-loss and welghL-conLrol makes Lhe mosL sense. And you can only follow an
anLl-dleL approach, when you can leL go of Lhe dleL-menLallLy!

www.scoLLabel.com
70

Chapter 7
I|na||y Lett|ng Go of 1he D|et Menta||ty

8y now you reallze you are meanL Lo be emoLlonally connecLed Lo Lhe feedlng experlence - Lhe
process of feedlng yourself. 8y now you should have also learned LhaL Lhls emoLlonal
connecLlon was always meanL Lo be a calmlng and sooLhlng connecLlon Lo your belng. ?our
dleL-menLallLy noL only removes LhaL calmlng emoLlonal connecLlon Lo Lhe acL of feedlng
yourself - lL replaces lL wlLh Lhe negaLlve emoLlons of sLress, anxleLy, worry and emoLlonal
[udgmenL and self-crlLlclsm. And Lhls ls [usL noL naLural - even Lhough lL may feel" naLural [usL
because you have been dleLlng for so long - and you have been under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy for so long as well. 1he dleL-menLallLy Lakes you from 'Lhlnklng-over' your own food
rules and regulaLlons for welghL-conLrol - and Lhen has you 'over-Lhlnklng' and worse 'over-
feellng' rules and regulaLlons focused on dleL and welghL-loss. And Lhls ls noL a paLh Lo success.
lL ls a cerLaln paLh Lo fallure - repeaLed fallure. lf you really wanL Lo flnally lose and conLrol your
welghL for a llfeLlme Lhen you need Lo flnally lose your dleL-menLallLy for a llfeLlme as well. And
whlle LhaL sounds appeallng Lo mosL people - Lhe facL ls Lhere ls a dellcaLe balance Lo belng
able Lo remove all Lhe faulLy emoLlonal ramlflcaLlons of Lhe dleL-menLallLy whlle sLlll belng able
Lo esLabllsh ways and means Lo conLrol your welghL. And lL all sLarLs of course wlLh Lhe re-
esLabllshmenL and reflnlng of Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd.
WhaL seLs you free ls accepLlng how you already look - and for mosL of you Lhls ls Lhe deal-
breaker. 8uL Lhlnk abouL lL for a mlnuLe. ?ou've never been able Lo accepL how you look, buL
you've also never been able Lo lose Lhe amounL of welghL you Lhlnk you should lose - and you
have also never been able Lo keep lL off lf you have losL lL. uo you noL see how Lhese Lhlngs go
LogeLher? And because you won'L accepL how you look - you adapL and lnLernallze Lhe dleL-
menLallLy. 1hls ls Lhe Lrap of lL. And your self-accepLance ls Lhe only Lhlng LhaL can release you
from lL. lL's self-accepLance LhaL seLs you free. lL's Lhe dleL-menLallLy LhaL lmprlsons you. And
unLll you make Lhls connecLlon you wlll conLlnue Lo sLruggle. WlLh self-accepLance you can
empower yourself. 1herefore you can change anyLhlng abouL yourself as well. WlLhouL self-
accepLance you Lend Lo bully yourself - and LhaL has a Lremendous emoLlonal consequence.
?ou need Lo sLarL from a place of feellng beLLer" abouL yourself. ?ou need Lo sLarL from a place
of feellng beLLer" abouL Lhe body you llve ln. 1hls doesn'L mean you have Lo love Lhe way you
look. lL [usL means you need Lo flnd a sLarLlng place of feellng beLLer" Lhan you have allowed

www.scoLLabel.com
71

yourself Lo. ?ou cannoL self-haLe your way Lo any klnd of Lrue self-lmprovemenL. no one can.
8uL self-haLe vla self-re[ecLlon ls exacLly Lhe mlndseL LhaL ls relnforced by your dleL-menLallLy.
Self-compasslon - and Lhe self-accepLance lL leads Lo ls Lhe only real and Lrue sLraLegy for long-
Lerm welghL-conLrol. And Lhese are noL concepLs LhaL can be 'welghed or measured' on a food
or baLhroom scale. lurLhermore, sLarvlng yourself as ln 'dleL by deprlvaLlon' - ls also a slgn and
lndlcaLlon of self-haLe. And sLarvlng yourself always leads Lo fuLure welghL-galn. ?ou know Lhls
from experlence. And yeL you keep golng back Lo lL? And Lhe welghL galned afLer welghL-loss, of
course [usL fuels and lnsLllls more self-haLe - and round and round you keep golng. lrom your
own personally devasLaLlng dleLlng experlence, you know LhaL all of Lhls ls Lhe cycle of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy. And Lhls ls Lhe maln reason why Lhe anLl-dleL approach Lo welghL-conLrol ls your real
and essenLlal soluLlon Lo welghL-managemenL. uon'L you really [usL wanL Lo llke yourself agaln?
Pow hard can LhaL be? Pow hard should LhaL be? uon'L you wanL Lo connecL wlLh yourself agaln
- and over deeper Lhlngs Lhan dress slzes and numbers on a scale?
Successful welghL-conLrol ln real and Lrue Lerms ls abouL prlnclples for llvlng - noL rules for
dleLlng! And whlle Lhere are mllllons of people who conLrol Lhelr welghL vla dleL-dlcLaLlon, Lhere
are [usL as many of you who repeaLedly fall by Lrylng Lhls meLhod. And whaL ls worse, you end
up calllng yourself a fallure for dolng so. 1o Lhlnk any dleL" wlll reLurn you Lo yourself ls Lo llve
ln a world of psychologlcal lmprlsonmenL. 1hls ls noL splrlLual freedom. ?ou were never
deslgned Lo be lmprlsoned by a blologlcal survlval lmperaLlve, llke eaLlng or breaLhlng. ?ou were
deslgned Lo en[oy Lhem. 1he dleL-menLallLy dlsconnecLs you from a very naLural and calmlng
connecLlon wlLh yourself. Cnly self-accepLance can re-llnk you. WhaL you seek ls self-harmony.
1haL ls always Lhe end-game Lo any self-lmprovemenL goal.
...
Self-harmony requlres followlng very slmply rules, noL compllcaLed formulas. ln Lerms of
welghL-conLrol Lhese slmple rules are 1) LaL when you are hungry, 2) urlnk when you are
LhlrsLy, 3) Sleep when you are Llred, and 4) ConnecL 'wlLh' your lnner body and yourself wlLh
exerclse. ?ou need Lo bulld and develop a llfesLyle sLraLegy around Lhls klnd of slmpllclLy. 8uL
whaL do mosL of you do? WhaL do you do and how do you acL LhaL lllusLraLes Lhe dlsharmony
and dlsconnecLlon LhaL ls aL Lhe cenLer of your welghL lssues ln comparlson Lo Lhese slmple self-
harmony rules above? 1) ?ou deny yourself food when you are hungry - because you are oo o
Jlet." 2) ?ou puL off recognlzlng when you are LhlrsLy. 3) ?ou Loo ofLen exhausL yourself Lo Lhe
polnL LhaL you go Lo bed over-Llred. 4) ?ou exerclse Lo work on" your ouLer appearance, and
noL Lo connecL wlLh your lnner body and all LhaL lL can do for you and wlLh you. So lL ls only
naLural LhaL dlsharmony, lmbalance, and belng lll-conLenL are Lhe resulL. And now Lhe quesLlon

www.scoLLabel.com
72

ls - whlch slde of Lhese slmple rules of self-harmony does your dleL-menLallLy supporL and
relnforce? And by conLrasL, how would a self-compasslonaLe mlnd ald ln connecLlng you Lo
Lhese very slmple rules above? As Lhe 1ao sLaLes - 8e Lruly whole" and all Lhlngs wlll come Lo
you. ?our welghL-lssue ls a slgn of lmbalance lnsLead of wholeness. And Lhls lssue ls noL
meLabollc, and lL ls noL nuLrlLlonal! 1herefore Lhls lssue can never be solved by adapLlng any
rules whlch dlsLorL, dlsLracL, or Lake you away from Lhese slmple self-harmony rules above.
And self-accepLance and self-harmony musL come wlLh cerLaln reallLy checks" as well. ?ou
need Lo leL go of some of Lhese faulLy myLhs you've been holdlng on Lo for you so long because
of your dleL-menLallLy and all of lLs lles. AccepL Lhe facL LhaL for each and every one of you Lhere
ls golng Lo be a welghL LhaL ls ldeal - lC8 ?Cu! And Lhls means leLLlng go of Lhls crazy dleL-
menLallLy-fueled noLlon of an ldeal welghL." ?ou do noL need a welghL scale Lo Lell you where
you funcLlon and feel your besL. 1he dleL-menLallLy robs you of even belng able Lo assess Lhls
real and Lrue auLhenLlc blofeedback - as you replace lL wlLh an emphasls of chaslng numbers on
a scale Loward a noLlon of an ldeal" bodywelghL. 1haL ls noL real and Lrue welghL-conLrol. Self-
harmony allows you Lo see LhaL your body ls a greaL source of lnformaLlon for you - lf you [usL
allow lL Lo be. lf you learn Lo sLop [udglng yourself, and sLarL LrusLlng lnsLead, Lhe lnformaLlon
your body glves you. 1hls ls whaL lL means Lo be self-compasslonaLe - and Lhls ls whaL lL means
Lo be self-connecLed. ?our dleL-menLallLy bllnds you Lo whaL oLherwlse would be so easy Lo see
and use for your own empowermenL. 8uL lnsLead, your dleL-menLallLy has you chaslng food
rules" and nuLrlLlonal knowledge for soluLlons Lo your welghL lssue. 8uL you should have
learned by now, LhaL nuLrlLlonal knowledge wlll noL sLop you from self-saboLaglng eaLlng
behavlor because of a faulLy personal dleL-psychology.
1he flrsL lesson you need Lo embrace ls sLop 'Joloq' whaL doesn'L work! And Lhen Lhe second
lesson ls Lo sLop menLally 'focosloq oo' whaL doesn'L work! Pas a dleL ever solved your food and
eaLlng and resulLanL welghL lssues, or only lnLenslfled Lhem - regardless of where you are ln Lhe
welghL-loss and welghL-galn cycle of lL? Pas focuslng on Lhls frusLraLlon ever Lruly worked - or
[usL lnLenslfled Lhe frusLraLlon and sense of fallure you always end up feellng and experlenclng?
And of course, anyLhlng Laken Lo exLreme ls unhealLhy because lL Lhrows your Lrlangle of
awareness ouL of balance. 1hls lncludes dleL, work, worklng ouL, anyLhlng really. 1he lmporLanL
Lake-away message from Lhls ls LhaL Lrue balance has no have Lo" componenL.
1he problem wlLh LreaLlng your welghL as Lhe enemy ls Lhe menLallLy lL produces - so as Lo
always be aL war wlLh yourself raLher Lhan aL peace wlLhln yourself. 1here ls always some sorL
of emoLlonal sense of have Lo" aLLached Lo your dleL-menLallLy. 1herefore you are always
'under sLress' aren'L you? So, even lf you succeed wlLh some welghL-loss, afLer a perlod of
sLruggle, wlllpower, and reslsLance" - whaL looms heavy ln your menLal energy from Lhere ls

www.scoLLabel.com
73

fear." - ?ou fear" Lhe welghL mlghL reLurn. ?ou fear" you may noL be able Lo keep Lhe welghL
off. ?ou fear" you may noL be able Lo reslsL bad" foods - and on and on lL goes. 1he mlndseL
of Lhe dleL-menLallLy wlll nLvL8 dellver you Lo Lhe peace and calm sLaLe of mlnd wlLh your
body. And LhaL ls whaL you acLually seek.
1ake a look aL yeL anoLher emall example from a cllenL:
Ckay coach, up fronL and wlLh no excuses l cheaLed LonlghL. l was very hungry, and nexL Lhlng l
knew l was eaLlng a blg cheaL meal. l don'L really undersLand whaL's happened Lo my dlsclpllne
Lhls lasL monLh.
?ou've seen my "before" plcLure and my "afLer" plcLure from only a monLh or so ago. ?ou know
lL Look dlsclpllne Lo lose LhaL much welghL, l've always had greaL dlsclpllne wlLh my dleLlng ln
Lhe pasL. l sLlll wanL Lhe same Lhlng, I st||| des|re to get myse|f super |ean and flL, (bold added)
LhaL deslre hasn'L changed. ln your experlence whaL causes someLhlng llke Lhls Lo happen?
WhaL's changed abouL my mlndseL ln Lhe lasL monLh LhaL has my dleLlng so sloppy? Llke l sald
before, l've eaLen way less food Lhan you have me on rlghL now, l Lhlnk bumplng Lhe calorles
would only help a llLLle blL and l'm noL suggesLlng LhaL's whaL we should do. SomeLhlng lsn'L
rlghL ln my mlnd wlLh Lhe dleLlng. Why am l suddenly havlng so much Lrouble puLLlng LhaL
same efforL lnLo my dleLlng? l WAn1 Lo succeed, l WAn1 Lo sLlck Lo my dleL, hell l don'L even
en[oy Lhe cheaLlng and l sure don'L en[oy Lhe body composlLlon changes lL's caused over Lhe lasL
monLh. Any advlce or lnsplraLlon or lnslghL would be greaLly appreclaLed rlghL now. l know lL
does no good Lo geL down on myself, buL l also know lf l don'L geL Lhe dleL down rlghL l won'L
reach my goals. Wlll lL [usL Lake Llme Lo geL over Lhe bad eaLlng hablLs l've plcked up Lhls lasL
monLh? Wlll lL evenLually geL easler agaln llke lL used Lo be? l don'L wanL you Lo Lhlnk l'm a losL
cause who's [usL belng lazy or won'L puL ln any efforL. 1he eaLlng hablLs l've plcked up recenLly
don'L deflne me, lL cerLalnly lsn'L "me". l'm hard worklng and dedlcaLed ln everyLhlng l go for ln
llfe, l really don'L know whaL's happened. l'm also noL Lrylng Lo make excuses or hlde anyLhlng.
As you can see Lhls cllenL ls compleLely enveloped ln Lhe dleL-menLallLy. And every Llme l
suggesL Lhls Lo her, she reslsLs Lhe noLlon of lL. 1here ls no prlson more conflnlng Lhan Lhe one
you don'L even recognlze you are ln. And LhaL ls Lhe llvlng reallLy of Lhe dleL-menLallLy once lL
Lakes over your worklng mlndseL. As you can see ln Lhls leLLer, Lhls cllenL ls now ln Lhe rebound
phase of welghL-galn followlng welghL-loss. She doesn'L even en[oy Lhe cheaLlng. 8uL she can'L
accepL LhaL Lhe cheaLlng ls Lhe resulL of all Lhe welghL-loss elLher. ln facL, as l bolded above, she
sLlll has LhaL unreallsLlc goal of an ldeal welghL" over her own susLalnable welghL, whlch ls
ldeal for her. And now she can'L conLrol her appeLlLe or her behavlor. And as ls always Lrue of
Lhe dleL-menLallLy - she emoLlonally [udges herself enLlrely wlLhln her eaLlng behavlors and her
welghL. She ls confused - buL she ls also hyper-anxlous. She can'L flnd a calm and relaxed sLaLe

www.scoLLabel.com
74

of energy wlLhln her dleL-menLallLy. 1herefore she ls llkely Lo conLlnue undeslred eaLlng
behavlor, Lhe resulL of whlch wlll be furLher welghL-galn. And Lhen Lhe cycle of fear and self-
denlal and self-deprlvaLlon, seLs lLself ln moLlon, and emoLlon - all over agaln. 1here ls a
consLanL sLruggle wlLhln and whaL ls gone and losL - whaL you see nowhere ln LhaL leLLer - ls
any form of self-compasslon and self-harmony.
...
no one can solve an lssue aL Lhe level of Lhlnklng LhaL causes lL. ?ou cannoL dleL your way ouL of
Lhe dleL-menLallLy. As Lhe Lheme of Lhls whole pro[ecL expllcaLes - self-compasslon ls Lhe
soluLlon Lo freedom from Lhe dleL-menLallLy. So l sLarLed sLudylng people who never ever had
welghL lssues. l sLarLed sLudylng people who are noL welghL-consclous aL all. And Lhls ls how l
came up wlLh Lhe Lerm dleL-menLallLy." 1he premlse ls LhaL Lhese people seldom even tblok
oboot" dleL - and Lherefore Lhere ls never any reason for Lhem Lo be 'emotlooolly lovesteJ ooJ
joJqmeotol' abouL lL elLher. Compare Lhls reallLy Lo Lhe Lone of Lhe emall leLLer above.
8emember, as l sLaLe ofLen - wbot yoo focos oo expooJs." Well, well-ad[usLed people who can
conLrol Lhelr welghL - are able Lo do so because Lhelr welghL ls nC1 an elemenL of menLal focus
or prlorlLy. And Lhls ls Lhe genesls of Lhe anLl-dleL" approach Lo welghL-conLrol and welghL-loss.
ln LasLern phllosophles llke Zen or 1he 1ao - when you glve up Lhe energy of reslsLance ln favor
of Lhe energy of surrender -> AL LhaL polnL, you sLop Laklng serlously, someLhlng you could only
Lake serlously before. ?ou [usL menLally and emoLlonally leL lL go." And by dolng so - Lhls 'frees
and llberaLes' you so you can own LhaL very Lhlng LhaL used Lo own you. (welghL, dleL, food eLc.)
Look aL LhaL emall leLLer agaln. Can you noL see LhaL Lhls cllenL ls compleLely owned" by her
dleL-menLallLy? ln 1ao - Lhlngs maLLerlng" ls a level of serlousness and aLLachmenL.
Conversely, Lhlngs noL maLLerlng" ls a llghLness of belng, freedom of energy eLc. Cne way LhaL
people who never manlfesL a welghL problem ls because dleL and welghL-conLrol never become
Loo serlous of Lhlngs maLLerlng" wlLhln Lhem, Lo begln wlLh. 1hls ls Lhe nucleus of Lhe anLl-dleL
approach Lo long-Lerm welghL conLrol. lurLhermore, over Lhe years l have probably recelved
hundreds of leLLers from people seeklng my help regardlng welghL, food, and dleL-lssues. And
Lhe common underlylng Lheme of all of Lhem ls an expressed senLlmenL LhaL Lhey never ever
had welghL or food lssues before Lhey sLarLed dleLlng serlously." And Lhere ls a lesson ln Lhls
LhaL musL noL be lgnored.
lood and dleL obsesslon can lead Lo all klnds of eaLlng dlsorders and dlsordered eaLlng paLLerns.
8emember, Lhese Lhlngs don'L sLarL by NC1 Lhlnklng abouL food and dleL and eaLlng. 1hese
Lhlngs sLarL by Lhlnklng too much abouL Lhem. 1hese Lypes of obsesslons and wellness lssues
evenLually exLlngulsh your oLher passlons and purpose - and concomlLanLly Lhen, Lhey

www.scoLLabel.com
7S

exLlngulsh your sense of self - and your sense of whaL you are capable of accompllshlng ln Lhe
world beyond a mlnd focused so heavlly on food/eaLlng/dleL/ and welghL-loss - and welghed-
down so heavlly wlLh emoLlon by Lhem as well. 1hls level of focus separaLes you from yourself.
And Lherefore, lL also separaLes you from Lhe compasslon you need Lo overcome lL. And lL can
be a long way back. 8uL lL's a way back LhaL has absoluLely noLhlng Lo do wlLh followlng
anoLher dleL."
1he LruLh - Lhe real and honesL LruLh - and Lhe real and honesL concluslon you need Lo draw
from all of Lhls - ls LhaL for any of you under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe dleL-menLallLy -> Cnly by
maklng welghL-loss and dleL NC1 be Lhe polnL - And only by maklng welghL-loss and dleL NC1
be Lhe focus - Cnly by allowlng Lhem Lo become non-lssues - 1hen and only Lhen can you make
welghL-loss and long-Lerm susLalnable welghL-conLrol acLually happen. ?ou musL reallze Lhe
necesslLy Lo free your splrlL - And noL Lo conLlnue Lo lmprlson lL. And you only free your splrlL
wlLh Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd. ?ou lmprlson lL wlLh Lhe dleL-menLallLy. 8uL ln facL, many of
you readlng Lhls wlll be Lhlnklng, l know myself. Pow ls nC1 Lhlnklng on dleL and food and my
welghL ever golng Lo help me conLrol my welghL? l'll [usL keep geLLlng faLLer?" Well, LhaL ls your
dleL-menLallLy Lhlnklng for you. 1haL ls Lhe dleL-menLallLy conLrolllng you wlLh Lhe language of
fear. 8uL Lhere ls noLhlng self-compasslonaLe or self-supporLlng ln Lhose LhoughLs, ls Lhere? And
by comparlson, you've already been focused on your welghL, and on Lhls or LhaL dleL, and on
food - for how many years now? Pas lL LvL8 worked ln a susLalnable way LhaL allows you Lo
forgeL abouL all of lL and [usL llve your llfe? 8ecause LhaL ls Lhe polnL - and LhaL ls whaL you are
mlsslng.
And aL some polnL you need Lo reallze Lhe self-re[ecLlon and self-denlal componenL of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy [usL cannoL work. lL goes agalnsL your own human naLure. WhaL you musL do ls
change your Lhlnklng. ?ou musL replace Lhe self-re[ecLlon wlLh aL leasL a sLarLlng level of self-
accepLance. lL all beglns from Lhere. When you change your mlnd, you wlll change Lhe way you
feel. When you change Lhe way you feel, you wlll change Lhe way you Lhlnk. When you change
Lhe way you Lhlnk, you wlll change Lhe way you behave, and Lhe moLlvaLlons behlnd your
behavlor as well. And Lhls above all, ls whaL musL replace Lhe dleL-menLallLy. 8uL changlng a
mlndseL ls noL easy Lo do. 1he mlnd loves defaulL seLLlngs." 1he reason so many of you fall aL
long-Lerm susLalnable welghL-conLrol ls because changlng your mlnd ls so dlfflculL - and
changlng your behavlor [usL 'seems' much slmpler. 1herefore lL's easy Lo fall prey Lo Lhe
enLlcemenLs of behavloral modlflcaLlon of Lhe eaL Lhls noL LhaL" mandaLe of Lhe dleL-menLallLy.
8uL Lhls ls a menLal Lrap. 8ecause wlLhouL a worklng menLal frame of self-accepLance drlvlng
Lhls klnd of behavlor - Lhen Lhese rules Lend Lo be emoLlonally resenLed - so you are always
operaLlng wlLhln a mlndseL of reslsLance. 1he resulL ls LhaL you endlessly Lry Lo commlL Lo Lhe

www.scoLLabel.com
76

dleL-menLallLy and all of lLs resLrlcLlons - whlle aL Lhe same Llme, wanLlng Lo break-free of lL.
1hls makes long-Lerm welghL-conLrol lmprobable aL besL.
And parL of accepLance" ls also accepLlng Lhe reallLy of where you are aL and how long you've
been Lhere. ?ou need Lo reallze and accepL LhaL real change lsn'L golng Lo happen overnlghL [usL
because you wanL lL Lo. lL Lakes a hablL Lo break a hablL. And ln Lhls case Lhe new hablL ls for Lhe
self-compasslonaLe mlnd Lo replace Lhe dleL-menLallLy of self-denlal and self-deprlvaLlon. And
Lhls ls dlfflculL because Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls now Lhe defaulL seLLlng" ln your menLal and
emoLlonal realms of how you percelve food and welghL-conLrol. AccepL" LhaL changlng Lhls
mlndseL wlll be a back and forLh process. lL's noL someLhlng you can [usL wake up Lo one
mornlng. 8uL Lrue self-accepLance ls abouL healLhy Lhlnklng. And healLhy Lhlnklng ls whaL wlll
drlve healLhy behavlor. And healLhy behavlor ls whaL wlll susLaln healLhy welghL-conLrol. AL
some polnL healLhy Lhlnklng ls abouL a healLhy percepLlon of order and sLrucLure as well. And
Lhls ls lmporLanL because as has been argued all Lhrough Lhls LexL - how" you eaL ls far more
lmporLanL for long-Lerm welghL conLrol Lhan whaL" you eaL. Pow you eaL ls Lhe englne drlvlng
Lhe behavlor - whaL you eaL ls merely Lhe sLeerlng wheel. Cnce Lhe poslLlve experlences of
order and sLrucLure unfold, meanlng - efflclency and poslLlve aLLlLude - Lhese Lhlngs Lend Lo
also relnforce noL [usL a menLal percepLlon of necesslLy" for order and sLrucLure - buL a
deslre" for lL. Cnce Lhls menLal noLlon ls solldly ln place as a menLal commlLmenL - lL Lhen
becomes a reflecLlon of Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlndseL, and Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlndseL
reflecLs a deslre" for order and sLrucLure ln reLurn. 1hese Lhlngs become self-supporLlng
elemenLs of who you are - and noL a means Lo an end of loslng welghL." 1here ls a blg
dlfference ln Lhe mlndseL of a person who undersLands Lhls.
And you can learn a lesson from Lhe world of professlonal aLhleLlcs as well. 1he professlonal
aLhleLe's approach Lo eaLlng ls LhaL Lhey malnLaln adequaLe and subsLanLlal food lnLake - Anu -
Lhey en[oy whaL Lhelr bodles do for Lhem. ?ou don'L see Lhem Lravelllng around from clLy Lo clLy
carrylng food scales and wrlLlng ln food [ournals and Lhe llke, do you?
...
So - when are you golng Lo declde? When are you golng Lo Lruly and flnally choose Lhen? lsn'L lL
Llme enough already? ?Cu should be worLh more. ?Cu should be more valuable Lhan your
dleL/overeaL/lose and galn cycle of dlsappolnLmenL. 1hls lsn'L self-respecL, ls lL? Aren'L you
worLh more Lhan Lhls low-level conslderaLlon of yourself? ls Lhls self-accepLance? ?Cu - are noL
your welghL - sLarL Lhere.
As you should be able Lo undersLand now, your body musL also be nourlshed by your soul. 1hls
culLure, as a whole ls splrlLually sLarvlng - noL underfed - [usL lncredlbly undernourlshed, soul-

www.scoLLabel.com
77

wlse. So whlch approach - Lhe dleL menLallLy, or Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd ls more llkely Lo
nourlsh your body vla your soul? ?our dleL-menLallLy keeps geLLlng you Lo belleve LhaL you can
nurLure your soul vla your body. Pas LhaL LvL8 led you Lo peace of mlnd and conLenLmenL? 8uL
lnsLead, as you nurLure your soul wlLh self-compasslon and klndness - lnsLead of floodlng lL
wlLh wanL and deslre - your maLerlal and physlcal cravlngs and appeLlLes" wlll lose Lhelr power
over you - 8ecause Lhese Lhlngs don'L have any real power - ?Cu do. 8ecause Lhe real and
more empowerlng LruLh ls LhaL when you Lransform yourself - you Lransform your world - or aL
leasL your speclal corner of lL. nC1 - 'when you Lransform your body' - whlch may be Lhe exacL
Lhlng holdlng you back - buL when you Lransform your ?Cu.
When you Lruly sLop lylng Lo yourself, and when you Lruly wanL Lo geL beyond lL all, Lo heal -
LhaL ls when you wlll flnally and really choose nuLrlLlon" Lo supporL your body and healLh. 8uL
Lhls lncludes nuLrlLlon" ln all Lhree realms of your exlsLence - menLal nuLrlLlon, as ln healLhy
LhoughLs - emoLlonal nuLrlLlon, as ln self-compasslon, self-connecLlon and emoLlonal
expresslon - and splrlLual nuLrlLlon, whlch means llvlng a healLhy exlsLence for Lhe sake of
oLhers and noL [usL Lo lnflaLe your own ego. 1o supporL body and healLh nuLrlLlonally" ls Lo do
so from Lhe lnslde-ouL. And Lo do LhaL, you musL surrender Lhe lle of Lhe dleL-menLallLy focus,
whlch has Lo now been on dleLs and your welghL - Lhe ouLslde-ln approach. unLll Lhen, Lhere
wlll be no LransformaLlon and no heallng - and cerLalnly no long-Lerm susLalnable welghL-
conLrol. 1he reallzaLlon you need Lo make ls Lo geL Lo a place where you are flnally nourlshlng
Lhe body 'ftom Lhe soul and noL solely/soullessly [usL Lrylng Lo saLlsfy your ego Lhrough your
physlque or flgure. 1he Lruly nourlshlng" approach comes from self-accepLance and lL requlres
a self-compasslonaLe mlnd Lo be LhaL person. 1he sLarvaLlon approach ls abouL self-re[ecLlon,
and Lhlnklng you can ever conquer your ego. 8uL your ego can never be conquered. lL can only
be surrendered.
1he vlLal lngredlenL mlsslng when you become so focused on ouLcomes and exLerlors and
appearances ls LhaL you mlss Lhe polnL enLlrely. 1he vlLal lngredlenL and Lhe energlzlng naLure
of whaL any endeavor or underLaklng does for you ls a sense of Lrue meanlng and purpose
behlnd lL. And meanlng and purpose are meanL Lo be self-connecLlng and expresslve. lf Lhe
meanlng Lhe purpose behlnd your underLaklng are noL worLhy Lo your soul, Lhen evenLually Lhe
underLaklng wlll noL seem Lo be elLher. ?ou can never fool your own soul, alLhough you ofLen
baLLle wlLh lL Lo Lry Lo. ?our dleL-menLallLy represenLs one of Lhose frulLless baLLles.
So lf you have noL been 'on Lhe ball' wlLh conslsLenL and proper eaLlng, Lhls ls noL a dleL-
problem ls lL? lL ls reflecLlng back on you LhaL you are noL 'on Lhe ball' and conslsLenL ln your
Lhlnklng/feellng abouL yourself - and abouL your eaLlng ln relaLlon Lo how you feel abouL

www.scoLLabel.com
78

yourself. 1herefore a dleL ls never golng Lo address Lhls - noL for long anyway. And Lhls ls Lhe lle
of Lhe dleL-menLallLy and Lhe spell you fall under wlLhln lL.
?ou need Lo sLarL explorlng your own dleL-psychology and Lhe meanlng and purpose behlnd lL.
1hen you need Lo ask yourself Lhese Lwo quesLlons -> 1) WhaL are Lhe lnLended consequences
'fot' my dleL-underLaklng? And 2) WhaL are Lhe unlnLended consequences 'of' my dleL-
underLaklng? (menLally and emoLlonally). Make Lwo columns and Lake your Llme and wrlLe
Lhem ouL and see whlch columns end up blgger and why. And you musL make menLal and
emoLlonal conslderaLlons parL of Lhls summaLlon. 1o do so, you musL conslder boLh post
lofloeoces" and cotteot ttlqqets." lor example, research shows LhaL people wlLh eaLlng
dlsorders and/or body-lmage lssues usually had elLher: one overly crlLlcal parenL - or an
emoLlonally compleLely absenL parenL (ofLen an alcohollc or drug dependenL). So under Lhe
caLegory of currenL Lrlggers would be elLher, a need Lo be noLlced - or a fear of belng [udged or
exposed" as belng unworLhy. uleLlng has Lhe lnLended consequences of focuslng emoLlonal
angsL ln anoLher area. 1he plannlng and rules for dleLlng offer someLhlng else Lo focus on. ?ou
can feel good" when dleLlng because you are provlng yourself worLhy" and aL Lhe same Llme
avoldlng lnner emoLlonal confllcLs. 8uL Lhen you become exLremely 'exLernally focused.' And
Lhen Lhe same old fears (pasL lnfluences) LhaL seL all of Lhls ln moLlon [usL play ouL as
unlnLended consequences." (and Lhese become your new currenL Lrlggers) ?ou emoLlonally
fear welghL-galn, whlch now represenLs noL belng good-enough - lL represenLs belng [udged - lL
represenLs feellng lnferlor. 1hese are all Lhe unlnLended consequences of Lhe dleL-menLallLy.
1hen you also fear your own dleL-lnduced hunger, because you Lhlnk you should be able Lo
reslsL lL. So, you sLarL Lo [udge yourself as weak and unworLhy - replaclng Lhe pasL lnfluences
LhaL seL all Lhls ln moLlon Lo begln wlLh. ?Cu become boLh your own hyper-crlLlcal parenL and
Lhe emoLlonally absenL one as well. 8uL dleL, dleLlng, and welghL-loss sLlll erroneously represenL
'a way ouL' for you - because you can measure and [udge yourself wlLhln lL. Cnly, Lhe
unlnLended consequences are LhaL you never reconclle wlLh Lhe emoLlonal causes of Lhe
welghL-lssues aL all. And ln facL, you lnLenslfy Lhem. ?ou deepen Lhem. And you push Lhem
deeper below Lhe surface. 1he lle of Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls LhaL you belleve LhaL 'provlng your
body' ln welghL-loss wlll somehow LranslaLe lnLo sooLhlng your soul - only lL never does. And
Lhe cycle repeaLs lLself. Make your own Lwo columns of lnLended and unlnLended
consequences of dleLlng, and lnclude all Lhree realms of Lhe Lrlangle of awareness - and wlLness
whaL lnslghLs wlll be revealed Lo you abouL yourself.
So as Lo noL geL Loo far ahead of Lhe lssue, leL's revlew a blL here Lhen. Pumans and Lhls
lncludes you - evolved Lo have a see-fooJ-potsoe-fooJ-ooJ-eot-lt" braln. 8uL Lhe body also
evolved Lo wanL Lo sLore and puL on welghL and Lo flghL agalnsL welghL-loss. 8oLh Lhese
elemenLs of braln and body evoluLlon are survlval mechanlsms. 1hey are blologlcal lmperaLlves

www.scoLLabel.com
79

and survlval lnsLlncLs. 1hls means you can'L Lurn Lhem off, [usL because you may wanL Lo.
nelLher your braln, nor your body ls golng Lo surrender whaL Lhey are deslgned Lo do Lo ensure
your survlval. 1herefore, Lo flghL and reslsL Lhese Lhlngs ls absoluLely ludlcrous. lurLhermore,
you now also know LhaL your emoLlonal realm also evolved ln a way where emoLlonal nurLurlng
ls parL of Lhe feedlng/eaLlng experlence - and ls Lhls way slnce blrLh. (agaln, [usL waLch a
moLher feedlng her baby) 1hese emoLlonal comforLs are noL provlded 'by' food, buL along 'wlLh'
food ln your earllesL feedlng experlences, agaln and agaln.
lrom Lhe physlcal realm, conslder Lhls as well. ?our braln and physlcal body dld noL evolve Lo
lead a sedenLary llfesLyle whlle belng surrounded by and sLlmulaLed Loward paylng aLLenLlon Lo
hyper-palaLable, convenlence foods LhaL Lrlgger Lhe reward cenLers of your braln. ?our braln
dld noL evolve Lo be able Lo deal wlLh and process belng surrounded by food lndusLry glanLs and
Lhelr adverLlslng whlch purposely and provocaLlvely seeks Lo caLer Lo Lhls parL of your braln. All
of Lhese Lhlngs are Lruly 8eyond MeLabollsm" (whlch ls why l wroLe LhaL book -
hLLp://blL.ly/e9hkq8). And all of Lhese Lhlngs are also Lruly beyond a sLudy of nuLrlLlon. And all
Lhese Lhlngs are clearly beyond Lhe eaL Lhls noL LhaL" paradlgm of Lhe dleL-menLallLy and lLs
falled lmpacL Lo solve your modern dleL dllemma. Can you noL see now, how Lhe dleL-menLallLy
does noL really and Lruly address how Lo conLrol your welghL? LeLLlng go of Lhe dleL-menLallLy
and replaclng lL wlLh Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlndseL ls Lhe only real and Lrue way Lo combaL all
Lhese modern lnfluences on how you eaL, and how you Lhlnk abouL how you eaL.

www.scoLLabel.com
80

Chapter 8
Se|f-Acceptance as the rocess to the Se|f-Compass|onate M|nd

8y now lL should be obvlous Lo you LhaL you do noL have a welghL problem. ?ou have a 'Lhlnklng
and feellng problem' abouL your welghL. ?our body ls [usL merely Lhe ouLer reflecLlon of Lhls
reallLy. And lf you Lhlnk abouL Lhls ob[ecLlvely, you know lL Lo be Lrue. 1haL ls whaL Lhls whole
pro[ecL has been abouL. 8uL now we need Lo dlscuss all Lhree realms of Lhe Lrlangle of
awareness so LhaL you can make sense of Lhls reallLy. 1he dleL-menLallLy leads you Lo ampllfy
your emoLlonal realm when lL comes Lo your welghL. 1hls also lnfecLs Lhe level and quallLy of
your Lhlnklng as well. ln Lhe end you have a pressure-fllled, sLress-engaged approach Lo food
and eaLlng and welghL-conLrol. All Lhree realms of your Lrlangle of awareness - menLal,
emoLlonal, and behavlor - have been more or less polsoned by Lhe dleL-menLallLy. And l am
asked all Lhe Llme Well how do l change lL?" So many people ask me Lhls Lype of quesLlon on
lacebook or my forums and Lhey expecL a slmple paragraph answer wlll solve and remedy years
of Lhe effecLs of Lhe faulLy mlndseL of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. When you conLlnue Lo look for slmple
reclpes Lo follow, ln order Lo flx whaL ls broken lnslde you - you conLlnue Lo be under Lhe
lnfluence of Lhe dleL-menLallLy.
?ou have Lo accepL Lhe answer ls processed-based and noL reclpe-based. ?ou also have Lo
accepL LhaL Lhe soluLlons Lo your long-Lerm welghL-conLrol problems are noL 'dleL-focused' and
are only sllghLly dleL-relaLed. And because of Lhe lngralned effecLs of Lhe dleL-menLallLy on your
menLal and emoLlonal realms - you have Lo accepL LhaL Lhls may be sLlll a long road wlLh a greaL
deal of back and forLh. So you need Lo sLop looklng aL Lhe whole ldea of long-Lerm welghL-
conLrol as success vs. fallure" - and embrace lL as a process." 1here wlll be many baLLles losL
and won along Lhe way. ?ou have Lo learn - Lo learn from Lhem - lnsLead of applylng emoLlonal
[udgmenL 'on' Lhem. AccepLance of all of Lhls lays ln reallzlng Lhere should be no war" wlLhln
yourself Lo begln wlLh! And even Lhough Lhls may be a long-road - Lhls long-road ls noL abouL
food cholces. 1o Lhlnk so, ls Lo embrace Lhe myLh of Lhe dleL-menLallLy - and of lLs componenL
llmbs - Lhe welghL-loss lndusLry: now, re-read Lhls lasL paragraph. noLlce how many Llmes Lhe
word accepLance" ls used. lreedom from dleL and welghL lssues ls abouL accepLance.
AccepLance ls abouL Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd. 1hese Lwo componenLs of wellness acL llke a
feedback loop Lo muLually relnforce each oLher ln ways LhaL empower you. Self-accepLance ls
Lhe paLh - self-compasslon ls Lhe desLlnaLlon. And Lhen once you reach LhaL desLlnaLlon ln real
and subsLanLlve Lerms - Lhen self-compasslon becomes Lhe paLh - and self-accepLance Lhe
desLlnaLlon. 1hlnk of each of Lhem as 6:00 o'clock and 12:00 o'clock polnLs along a conLlnuous

www.scoLLabel.com
81

and empowerlng lnner-awareness feedback clrcle. 1hls ls Lruly Lhe only way Lo replace Lhe dleL-
menLallLy and flnally flnd and esLabllsh a long-Lerm meLhod Lo auLhenLlc welghL-conLrol.
...
So for now your sLarLlng polnL ls Lo noLlce momenLs of boLh self-accepLance and lLs opposlLe of
emoLlonal self-re[ecLlon or emoLlonal reslsLance. And emoLlonal reslsLance can also lnclude
reslsLance Lo food, dleL, welghL and any negaLlve LhoughLs or emoLlons assoclaLed wlLh Lhese.
Self-accepLance cannoL become some klnd of goal Lo achleve. 1haL [usL relnforces Lhe dleL-
menLallLy. Self-accepLance ls a process. 8uL lL ls also a naLural emoLlonal poslLlon you have
wlLhln yourself. ?ou [usL need Lo consclously noLe Lhose momenLs when Lhey presenL
Lhemselves. So many of your lssues, and so many sources of your sLress sLem from a reslsLance
Lo whaL ls" over an emoLlonal lmpulse Loward whaL you wlsh was Lrue." ?ou refuse Lo love
and accepL yourself and your body as ls" as your sLarLlng polnL. And Lhls ls whaL beglns and
susLalns a process of self-re[ecLlon. 1hlnk abouL Lhls negaLlve feedback loop for a second. ?ou
feel anxlous and depressed - buL Lhen you beaL yourself up for feellng anxlous and depressed.
So Lhen, you elLher eaL or deny yourself food ln order Lo numb, or escape, or avold Lhese
conLradlcLory emoLlons LhaL overwhelm you. And of course Lhls evenLually becomes lLs own
source of paln ->lood, dleLlng, eaLlng, bodywelghL -> your source of sufferlng for all of Lhese
Lhlngs comes from wanLlng lL all Lo be dlfferenL. 8uL lf lnsLead, you [usL accepL Lhlngs as Lhey are
- as you are - as your body ls rlghL now - Lhen your sufferlng ls dlmlnlshed and you sLarL Lo
gaLher sLrengLh enough Lo supporL yourself. 1hls ls Lhe process of self-accepLance. 1hls ls Lhe
sLarLlng polnL for lL. lrom here you begln Lo develop, Lraln, and sLrengLhen Lhe compasslonaLe
mlnd. And ln dolng so, you sLop beaLlng yourself up. And when you sLop beaLlng yourself up -
you become empowered Lo forge poslLlve change - from Lhe lnslde-ouL, where change ls
auLhenLlc and real. And you flnally surrender Lhe nonsense of Lrylng Lo flx yourself" from Lhe
ouLslde-ln - Lhe lle of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. 1hls ls Lhe Zen/1ao approach Lo Lrue long-Lerm
welghL-conLrol. And Lhls ls whaL l advocaLe ln Lhe face of whaL l see every slngle day -> Lhe uLLer
fallure of Lhe dleL-menLallLy.
8ecause ln a very real way you don'L even reallze whaL you are afLer, and whaL welghL-loss
represenLs Lo you. ln a very real way, whaL you long for ls Lo geL back Lo Lhe experlence of llvlng
happlly 'ln' your body - lnsLead of desperaLely worklng 'on' lL- by worklng on your welghL. ?ou
wanL Lo sympaLheLlcally connecL wlLh your body agaln - Lo know lL, relaLe Lo lL, relaLe wlLh lL,
and Lo [oln lL ln peace as parL of a balanced whole of all of who you are. WhaL you are
experlenclng ls splrlLual exhausLlon from Lhe mlndseL LhaL has separaLed you from Lhese
worklng elemenLs of yourself for so long. ?ou need a re-connecL. And all of Lhls speaks Lo Lhe
compasslonaLe-mlnd of course. 1hls lsn'L someLhlng you have Lo earn" - lL ls a blrLhrlghL LhaL

www.scoLLabel.com
82

already exlsLs lnslde of you. ?ou merely have Lo reconnecL wlLh lL. WhaL has happened ls LhaL
Lhls parL of your worklng hollsLlc energy has been dlsconnecLed from you by your dleL-
menLallLy. 1hlnk of lL as Lhe dleL-menLallLy unplugglng" a source of menLal/emoLlonal
elecLrlclLy lnslde you. All you have Lo do ls plug lL back ln agaln.
...
lL ls developlng 'Lhe compasslonaLe self' whlch ls whaL can over-rlde Lhe dleL-menLallLy. ?our
compasslonaLe self undersLands you. lL empaLhlzes wlLh you and supporLs you uncondlLlonally
- [usL as you yourself would supporL a loved one who ls sLruggllng. ?our compasslonaLe self
knows you. 1herefore lL ls your own source of sLrengLh. ?our compasslonaLe self ls wlse, sLrong,
passlonaLe and carlng ln ways LhaL no ouLslde source can provlde for you - because lL comes
from wlLhln you. And when you reconnecL Lo your compasslonaLe self you've now comblned
Lhe menLal and emoLlonal realms of your Lrlangle of awareness ln poslLlve ways - and you've
connecLed Lhem Lo each oLher.
?our compasslonaLe self wlll help you accepL and reallze LhaL undersLandlng yourself ln new
ways can seem palnful or even LhreaLenlng. So your compasslonaLe self ls your own self-
accepLance based on a naLural lnLernal level of awareness of who you Lruly are - even beyond
your own appearance. ln conLrasL, Lhe dleL-menLallLy Lends Lo always be an exLernally-based,
self-re[ecLlng mandaLe. lL ls separaLe from who you acLually are and lL ls lnLensely focused on
exLernal appearance - usually Lo Lhe excluslon of, and re[ecLlon of, your own lnner-awareness
and self-accepLance. All you need Lo do Lo sLarL reconnecLlng all Lhls - ls Lo slmply acknowledge
Lhe LruLh and wlsdom ln lL.
So beLween eaLlng and formlng a dleL-sLraLegy whlch can acLually empower you, you need Lo
look aL Lhlngs dlfferenLly. Agaln l remlnd you of Lhe phrase - wbeo yoo cbooqe tbe woy yoo
look ot tbloqs, tbe tbloqs yoo look ot wlll cbooqe." 1hls also applles Lo your noLlons of exerclse
and lLs purpose as well. 8uL we'll geL lnLo LhaL ln a laLer secLlon. ?ou need Lo embrace a new
way of looklng aL Lhese Lhlngs - you need Lo embrace a new focus based ln self-compasslon. lf
you [usL learn Lo embrace any healLhy ptocess" llke dleL and exerclse, wlLhouL some exLernal
expecLaLlon or goal aLLached Lo lL - you wlll become far more enrlched wlLhln Lhe process lLself
- wheLher Lhls ls eaLlng rlghL or exerclslng, or boLh. And ln Lerms of wellness and long-Lerm
welghL conLrol, Lhls 'should be' Lhe polnL! AnyLhlng less Lhan Lhls ls Lo be caughL up ln Lhe
compare and conLrasL game - whlch ls also parL of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. As ln -> Ch, !ane losL so
much welghL, why can'L l?" l've goL Lo flL lnLo LhaL dress by !une" - Sue looks so good, l'm so
faL." - 1hls Llme l'm really golng Lo do lL, and flnally be able Lo wear a baLhlng sulL." - And on
and on. 1hls ls Lhe klnd of Lhlnklng LhaL reflecLs lnsecurlLy. lL also reflecLs LhaL sense of ouLer-

www.scoLLabel.com
83

[udgmenL you feel abouL your body and your welghL. 8uL parL of Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd ls
LhaL when you flnally learn Lo surrender Lhe need Lo compare, conLrasL, compeLe, and conform
- Lhen you are lefL knowlng how easy lL ls Lo [usL leL yourself connecL-lnward." 8ecause now
Lhere ls so much exLra psychlc energy and space lefL ln you from abandonlng Lhese more
useless psychlc hablLs.
And exerclslng Lhls sorL of self-compasslon wlll open up your powers of percepLlon as well. ?ou
can see Lhlngs a llLLle more clearly ln regards Lo food, dleL, and welghL. lor example, when you
reach for a food lndulgence LhaL you know you don'L Lruly wanL or need - whaL you are really
seeklng ls a LranslLlon Lo a calm energy sLaLe, or peaceful energy. 1he dleL-menLallLy cerLalnly
cannoL dellver Lhls Lo you can lL? 1hlnk abouL lL. WlLhln Lhe dleL-menLallLy mlndseL -> aL Lhe
same Llme you choose a food lndulgence solely Lo 'relleve a source of sLress' Lhls cholce now
lnduces a new source of sLress doesn'L lL? 8ecause now, you slL ln emoLlonal [udgmenL over
yourself because you cheaLed on your dleL" or because you know you really dldn'L need Lo
eaL LhaL." And Lhls sorL of Lhlnklng [usL lnduces gullL, anxleLy, remorse, and Lhe assoclaLed
negaLlve emoLlonal componenLs of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. lL never reLurns you Lo Lhe calm-energy
sLaLe LhaL you seek, does lL? WhaL Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd Leaches you ls LhaL Lhe dleL-
menLallLy ls fear-based, so lL wlll always fall, because lL always exacLs such a heavy and consLanL
emoLlonal Loll. 8uL Lhe self-compasslonaLe and acLual LruLh ln Lhls above example ls LhaL when
you learn Lo eaL wlLhouL fear - as you are lnnaLely meanL Lo do - and when you can look ln Lhe
mlrror wlLhouL anxleLy - Lhen you learn and absorb how Lo llve fearless and Lhls ls whaL wlll seL
you free. Can a dleL" do any of LhaL for you? Cr does a dleL [usL represenL more of LhaL whlch
holds you back wlLh fear, wlLhln yourself?
And leL's be clear on anoLher aspecL Lo whlch Lhe dleL-menLallLy leaves you confused. 8elng a
'normal and sane' healLhy eaLer does noL mean belng a perfecL" eaLer. 1o Lhlnk so ls noL
recovery from Lhe dleL-menLallLy or food lssues. normal and sane eaLers ofLen 'eaL a llLLle Loo
much.' 1hey [usL aren'L emoLlonally aLLached Lo [udglng Lhemselves for lL, or focuslng on LhaL
[udgmenL of lL. Moreover, normal and sane healLhy dleL mlndseL people look forward Lo a
dlnner ouL here and Lhere. lL ls noL a cause for anxleLy. lL ls ln facL, 'normal and sane' Lo eaL for
reasons oLher Lhan hunger. WhaL ls nC1 normal and sane ls an lnLense level of focus of [udglng
yourself negaLlvely for dolng so - especlally ln Lhls world we llve ln, surrounded by food
abundance and qulck and easy convenlence and cholce. lL [usL doesn'L make psychlc sense" Lo
have an emoLlonally punlshlng mlndseL abouL an envlronmenL you have no conLrol over. 1o be
so emoLlonally hypersenslLlve as Lhe dleL-menLallLy lnduces, leads Lo all sorLs of emoLlonal
consequences of lmpulslve and compulslve behavlors. And for chronlc dleLers, Lhese effecLs"
caused by Lhe dleL-menLallLy, can be lllusLraLed ln varlous negaLlve behavlors surroundlng food,
llke eaLlng dlsorders and dlsordered eaLlng lssues.

www.scoLLabel.com
84

lor lnsLance, Lhe urge Lo blnge-eaL ls an emoLlonal lmpulse reflex - a compulslon lf you wlll.
And as many of you have learned Lhe hard way, 'teoJloq oboot bow to flx lt never Lrumps Lhe
overwhelmlng force of an lnLernal compulslon. 1he mosL efflclenL means Lo dampen Lhe power
of compulslon ls LhaL Lhe nexL Llme you are abouL Lo blnge, ask yourself, WhaL am l avoldlng
rlghL now?" - And Lhen answer LhaL quesLlon. 1hls process lsn'L golng Lo sLop LhaL blnge
eplsode or even Lhe nexL one. lL llkely wlll noL even slow lL down or lessen lLs lnLenslLy - ot fltst
- 8uL over Llme, Laklng Lhe Llme Lo 'ptocess tbooqbt ovet compolsloo' - ls golng Lo shlfL Lhe
lmpulse from Lhe emoLlonal-reacLlve realm, Lo Lhe raLlonal mlnd of Lhe menLal realm. And Lhen
over Llme, Lhls lmpulse Lo blnge loses lLs power. lL's akln Lo Lurnlng Lhe volume down on a
sLereo - a sLereo LhaL has been blarlng loudly ln your ear, Lhe same song, over and over agaln.
8uL wlLh Lhls slmple awareness quesLlon of whaL am l avoldlng rlghL now?" -you keep Lurnlng
down Lhe volume of Lhe emoLlonal lmpulse message, Llll you can barely hear lL anymore. And
agaln, remember whaL you acLually seek ln blngelng behavlor ls a reLurn Lo a calm and peaceful
sLaLe of energy. And emoLlonal calm ls Lhe flrsL memory you have from Lhe feedlng experlence
(see ChapLer 6). And Lhls ls Lhe emoLlonal connecLlon you are acLually seeklng ln a blngelng
eplsode. lL's [usL LhaL Lhe dleL-menLallLy has muLaLed all of Lhls ln your emoLlonal realm. So, Lhls
slmple awareness quesLlon ls [usL one lllusLraLlon of uslng an exerclse ln self-compasslon Lo
sLrengLhen lLs source wlLhln you - because lL ls already Lhere wlLhln you. And as you sLrengLhen
Lhls source of self-accepLance Lhe lnfluence of Lhe dleL-menLallLy wlll wlLher, and evenLually lL
wlll dlsappear enLlrely. As l sLaLed earller, developlng your lnnaLe self-compasslonaLe mlndseL,
opens up your own powers of percepLlon. ?ou [usL begln Lo see Lhlngs dlfferenLly. And you do
Lhls, where lL counLs mosL - ln relaLlon Lo food, dleL and your welghL.
And ln Lerms of real and Lrue exerclses ln self-compasslon, leL me be clear on Lhls as well -
seeklng ouL Lhlrd parLy help and supporL llke hlrlng a Coach or a counselor ls ALWA?S a self-
compasslonaLe Lhlng Lo do. 1o do so does noL mean you are weak. lL means you are flnally
awake.
...
Se|f-Acceptance and Se|f-Awareness: kev|s|t|ng 1he Lmot|ona| kea|m of our 1r|ang|e of
Awareness
And you learned ln ChapLer 6 whaL repeaLed dleLlng does Lo your bodywelghL seL polnL and
meLabollc compensaLlon sysLem, buL whaL abouL Lhe psychologlcal damage of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy? uo you even conslder Lhe psychologlcal harm done by Lrylng Lhe same Lhlng over
and over agaln and Lelllng yourself you're a fallure, over and over agaln, because of lL? 1hls lsn'L
exacLly golng Lo lnsplre you or bulld confldence and self-esLeem ln you, ls lL? And yeL, lsn'L Lhls

www.scoLLabel.com
8S

Lhe exacL repeaLed common experlence of every dleLer? WhaL ls slmply nC1 18uL ls LhaL you
have falled. 8uL whaL lS 18uL ls Lhe lle LhaL ls Lold Lo you over and over agaln - LhaL a dleL
produces susLalnable lasLlng resulLs. ?our only fallure ln Lhls scenarlo ls LhaL you keep buylng
lnLo (llLerally and flguraLlvely) Lhe same fanLasy of Lhe 'nexL' dleL. And Lhls ls Lhe same old 'hope
over experlence' lrraLlonallLy of Lhe human emoLlon of 'wanL' sLlll dlsLorLlng your raLlonal mlnd
and loglc. When you read Lhls, you know - you acLually know deep lnslde of you - and you have
known for a long-Llme - LhaL lf Lhe promlse for long-Lerm welghL-conLrol exlsLed ln an eaL Lhls
noL LhaL" mandaLe of eaLlng rlLuals, Lhen you would have already losL all your undeslred welghL
and kepL lL off. ?ou know raLlonally and loglcally LhaL Lhe answers Lo your welghL lssues do noL
exlsL ln anoLher dleL-underLaklng. 8uL your emoLlonal mlnd ls so afrald of noL dleLlng - and your
emoLlonal mlnd ls so 'deslrous' Lo lose welghL - LhaL you [usL can'L leL your raLlonal mlnd Lake
over your Lhlnklng and sLop dleLlng - as a flnal soluLlon Lo Lhe problem.
And whaL ls worse emoLlonally ls whaL Lhe dleL-menLallLy does Lo your own sense of self-
accepLance and self-compasslon. As you've sLudled along Lhls far, Lhen you see Lhe dleL-
menLallLy can seL up a process where you begln Lo relaLe Lo yourself based on condlLlonal love
and condlLlonal accepLance. ?ou sLarL Lo pracLlce and condone a bellef LhaL you can only love,
approve, supporL, and nurLure yourself 'ooly' lf you Lhlnk you deserve lL. And you use dleL,
dleLlng, and food Lo measure Lhls percelved worLhlness" or Lhe [udgmenL lL usually leads Lo -
unworLhlness." 1hls ls Lhe operaLlng psychology of Lhe dleL-menLallLy and lL ls also whaL
produces Lhe mosL psychologlcal damage from lL as well.
We've dlscussed Lhese emoLlonal elemenLs of Lhe psyche before, buL you really need Lo Lhlnk
abouL Lhe effecLs your dleL-menLallLy has on and ln your emoLlonal realm of feellngs." Pas
your dleL-menLallLy ever led you Lo feel beLLer abouL yourself and abouL who you are ln Lhls
world? Shouldn'L LhaL Lell you all you need Lo know abouL belng able Lo leL lL go once and for
all? So look aL Lhls anoLher way Lhen. uo you conslder bullylng Lo be raLlonal and accepLable
behavlor? no? 1hen why do you conLlnually allow Lhe dleL-menLallLy Lo be puL Lo use as a Lool
Lo consLanLly and conslsLenLly bully yourself? uoes LhaL sound workable or raLlonal Lo you? And
lf you follow Lhe news Lhen you know bullylng and cyber-bullylng" has been ln Lhe news a loL
laLely. And you know LhaL some vlcLlms" of Lhls bullylng have acLually kllled Lhemselves Lo
relleve Lhemselves of all Lhe paln lL causes. So whaL do you Lhlnk are your own lnLra-personal
and lnLer-personal consequences of adapLlng Lhe dleL-menLallLy long-Lerm and all Lhe self-
bullylng LhaL goes along wlLh lL? ?ou really need Lo Lhlnk abouL lL aL Lhls level of raLlonallLy and
loglc.
lL's llke a really awful spouse -> Lhe klnd who ls conLrolllng - demands all your aLLenLlon - never
wanLs you Lo be wlLh your frlends. lL's always abouL hlm, hlm, hlm, and whaL ?Cu are dolng for

www.scoLLabel.com
86

hlm and for Lhe relaLlonshlp Loday and rlghL now. lL's smoLherlng and lL's pressure-fllled lsn'L lL?
And of course Lhls lsn'L a reference Lo your currenL spouse. lL's a reference Lo your currenL dleL-
menLallLy - because lL conLrols and abuses you ln exacLly Lhe same pressure-fllled ways. lsn'L
Lhls whaL Lhls relaLlonshlp" ls abouL when you Lhlnk abouL lL raLlonally and calmly? Can you
Lhlnk abouL lL, raLlonally and calmly? ls Lhls how you wanL Lo llve Lhe resL of your llfe - wlLhouL
self-accepLance and wlLhouL self-compasslon for who you are? lsn'L Lhls emoLlonal abuse? 8uL
do you honesLly Lhlnk more of lL, dellvers you from lL? Pow does LhaL make any sense? lL would
be llke a baLLered spouse golng from one abuser Lo Lhe nexL and raLlonallzlng lL by Lhlnklng, well
Lhe lasL one klcked and punched me - Lhls one only slaps me around and locks me ln Lhe
baLhroom. ln essence, Lhls ls Lhe klnd of raLlonallzaLlon you make when go from one dleL Lo Lhe
nexL one - hope over raLlonallLy - and raLlonallzlng faulLy emoLlon, because you 'wanL' lL all Lo
be dlfferenL. 8uL Lhe LruLh ls, you don'L have welghL-lssue - you have 'o tblokloq ooJ feelloq
lssoe- abouL your welghL. And no dleL ln Lhe world ls golng Lo address Lhls lssue aL LhaL level of
acLuallLy. And Lhls ls whaL you conLlnue Lo mlss ln one dleL aLLempL afLer anoLher. And Lhe
emoLlonal baggage you carry around wlLh you due Lo Lhls 'tblokloq ooJ feelloq lssoe - and due
Lo your falled aLLempLs aL welghL long-Lerm welghL conLrol - Lhls baggage ls composed of
negaLlve ways of percelvlng yourself and Laklng you furLher and furLher away from your own
naLural guldance sysLems of self-accepLance and self-compasslon.
8ecause over Lhe years, under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe dleL-menLallLy - you [usL flnd lL all Loo easy
Lo llve wlLh gullL, and Lhen you become emoLlonally compaLlble and ln synch wlLh lL. ls LhaL
whaL you wanL? ls LhaL a consLrucLlve way Lo llve? Pow can LhaL ever work? And yeL you
conLlnue Lo llve ln LhaL desLrucLlve emoLlonal comforL-zone. 1he way around Lhls, ls Lo [usL sLop
Lrylng Lo go around lL. ?ou need Lo blasL rlghL Lhrough lL, once and for all. And you can'L ever do
Lhls by Lhlnklng anoLher dleL ls golng Lo suddenly llfL your emoLlonal aLLachmenL Lo gullL. 1he
way Lhrough and beyond Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls Lo develop emoLlonal flLness and emoLlonal
courage. Llvlng wlLh gullL and belng slmpaLlco wlLh lL ls emoLlonal sloLh - emoLlonal obeslLy lf
you wlll. And emoLlonal sloLh ls a consequence of Lhe long-Lerm lnfluence of Lhe dleL-menLallLy
ln regards Lo your repeaLed aLLempLs aL welghL-conLrol. lf you undersLand welghL-conLrol as a
process and noL as a goal - Lhen Lhere would be no need Lo keep repeaLlng one dleL-aLLempL
afLer anoLher. 8uL lnsLead you conLlnue Lo emoLlonally confuse welghL-loss wlLh welghL-conLrol.
And you conLlnue Lo emoLlonally ampllfy your sLake ln how you see yourself - by whaL Lhe
numbers on Lhe scale seem Lo say Lo you. ?ou are never empowered ln Lhls. 8uL you become
qulLe honed and adepL ln all klnds of ways and means Lo be crlLlcal of yourself - and emoLe Lo
yourself ln negaLlve ways.
And lL's noL only polnLless buL compleLely self-lndulgenL Lo geL sLuck ln Lhe doom-loop of self-
crlLlclsm. ?ou have Lo llve wlLh yourself for a long-Llme. ?our own good oplnlon of yourself ls

www.scoLLabel.com
87

whaL wlll carry you Lhrough Lhe Lruly Lough and Lrylng clrcumsLances of your llfe. So why would
you adapL and sLay wlLh a dleL-menLallLy LhaL makes you forge a poslLlon of always quesLlonlng
your own good oplnlon of yourself? 1hls ls how you losL your connecLlon Lo your self-
compasslonaLe mlnd and self-accepLance Lo begln wlLh. And remember - when you focus only
on your percelved weaknesses, you beraLe and beaL up and assaulL your own splrlL. 8uL when
you consLanLly quesLlon your acLual sLrengLhs - you crush and desLroy your own splrlL. 1he self-
crlLlclsm componenL of Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls a 'doom-loop' ln every, way, shape and form. And
Lhe only way Lo geL ouL of Lhls doom-loop ls Lo reconnecL wlLh your naLural and lnnaLe
componenLs of self-accepLance and self-compasslon. ?ou losL LhaL connecLlon when you
lnLernallzed Lhe dleL-menLallLy and all Lhe negaLlve emoLlon and self-[udgmenL and self-
crlLlclsm LhaL goes along wlLh LhaL menLallLy. Cnly surrenderlng LhaL menLallLy can reLurn you
Lo belng a healLhy and happy person.
1he acknowledgmenL you need Lo make ls LhaL you need Lo LranslLlon from Lhls mlndseL of
ampllfled emoLlonal [udgmenL Lo Lhe mlndseL of emphaLlc personal responslblllLy. And Lhls
applles Lo how you see your body and how you percelve and evaluaLe your dleL-sLraLegy and
food lnfluences. 1hls ad[usLmenL from emoLlon Lo responslblllLy ls Lhe dlfference beLween
leLLlng go of Lhe dleL-menLallLy - whlch ls so sLeeped ln self-crlLlclsm and self-[udgmenL - and
allow LhaL space Lo be fllled wlLh Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd. And Lhe self-compasslonaLe
mlnd always accepLs personal responslblllLy as a componenL parL of empowerlng yourself.
8ecause Lhe LruLh ls you really don'L 'wanL' an endless feedlng of chocolaLe cake and lce-cream.
8uL whaL you do acLually 'need' ls Lo be able Lo sLop Lhe endless psychlc exhausLlon lnvolved ln
always Lrylng Lo reslsL Lhe noLlon LhaL you do wanL LhaL. 8emember Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls a
separaLlon and dlsconnecLlon from yourself. 8uL Lhe paLh 'Lo' your body ls dlrecLly Lhrough your
own personal connecLlon wlLh lL. ?ou can'L change a Lhlng you have no auLhenLlc connecLlon Lo.
And you can only reconnecL wlLh your body when you reesLabllsh self-compasslon and self-
accepLance ln place of Lhe dleL-menLallLy LhaL separaLes you from your body. ?our separaLlon
and dlsconnecLlon from your body occurs because of noLlons llke gullL and punlshmenL - ma[or
componenLs of Lhe madness of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. 1he answer Lo Lhese ls Lo Lurn down Lhe
volume of emoLlonal lnvolvemenL ln food and welghL, and flnd your way back Lo personal
responslblllLy over personal [udgmenL. ?ou need Lo sLop ob[ecLlfylng your body as someLhlng
exLernal Lo who you are. ?our body ls a ma[or parL of who you are. ln facL, your body ls lLs own
sacred garmenL lsn'L lL? lL ls Lhe one Lhlng you begln Lhls [ourney wlLh, and Lhe one Lhlng you
end Lhls [ourney wlLh. 1herefore lL should be LreaLed wlLh honor and esLeem and noL obsessed
over llke some cheap dlme-sLore fashlon LhaL you are Lrylng Lo make flL" you, don'L you Lhlnk?
...

www.scoLLabel.com
88

And when lL comes Lo food, you have Lo puL lL all lnLo a slmllar perspecLlve of accounLablllLy.
And you have Lo be able Lo acknowledge Lhe dlfference beLween an empowerlng sense of
personal responslblllLy vs. a desLrucLlve lnfluence of ampllfled emoLlonal self-[udgmenL and
self-recrlmlnaLlon. 1hese are quallLaLlvely dlsLlncL caLegorles of awareness and self-accepLance
- or lack of awareness and self-re[ecLlon respecLlvely. 8emember, food has no emoLlonal
power. LmoLlonal nurLurlng, as we've addressed already comes 'wlLh' food from your earllesL
days. 8uL lL does noL ever come 'from' food. When food Lakes on Lhe llluslon LhaL lL has
emoLlonal power or force over you - Lhen you've losL Lhe lnnaLe knowledge LhaL food ls noL
supposed Lo be 'abouL' comforL. 8uL lL should be a reflecLlon of lovlng yourself enough Lo feed
yourself well. And only Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd ls ln synch wlLh LhaL level of personal
empowermenL, personal connecLlon, and personal responslblllLy. ?ou cannoL ever self-punlsh
your way Lo self-lmprovemenL - noL ln mlnd, noL ln emoLlon, and noL ln behavlor. And yeL Lhls
ls Lhe lle of Lhe dleL-menLallLy you conLlnue Lo adhere Lo, lsn'L lL?
And do you really Lhlnk and feel LhaL your mandaLe ln llfe ls Lo become a dleLary roboL Zomble
who wlll auLomaLlcally choose broccoll over brownles? Agaln, your braln ls slmply noL wlred Lhls
way. And almosL always your emoLlonal reacLlon Lo 'forclng' someLhlng on yourself ls Lo resenL
lL. Pow can such a mlndseL ever serve you for Lhe long-Lerm? ?ou end up [usL belng a frusLraLed
and resenLful person - because of adapLlng an lll-faLed ouLlook Loward how you feed yourself -
and how you feed yourself was always meanL Lo be emoLlonally sooLhlng - noL emoLlonally
lnLlmldaLlng!
And even Lhough food ls one of Lhe earllesL dellvery sysLems of emoLlonal comforL ln your llfe,
vla feedlng as an lnfanL - food lLself ls noL Lhe source of emoLlonal comforL and never can be -
excepL, Lhe modern world we llve ln confuses Lhls. ?ou need Lo lay bare Lhe llnks beLween your
food and your emoLlonal realm of awareness. 1hen you need Lo flnd a way Lo dlsassoclaLe food
from your emoLlonal llfe. Cnly Lhen can you leL your body do whaL lL ls deslgned Lo do, whlch ls
Lo keep you healLhy and vlbranL and resLored. ?ou need Lo flnd oLher ways Lo manage your
LhoughLs and feellngs lnsLead of uslng food and dleLlng as a surrogaLe for Lhls. Cnce agaln - Lhe
reallLy Lo face ls LhaL you do noL have a welghL lssue - you have o tblokloq ooJ feelloq lssoe
abouL welghL. (l refer you as well Lo my 3-book pro[ecL Iood Issues and ou: I|na||y Iac|ng
our hantom Menace" - and Lhls 3-book pro[ecL comblnes a workbook wlLh emoLlonal
awareness lssues LhaL underllne eaLlng/food/dleL and welghL lssues. hLLp://blL.ly/uLavWu)
ln all of Lhls - how you percelve your body, how you percelve your welghL, and how you
percelve food and dleL - all of lL has Lo change. And lL has Lo change ln Lhe dlrecLlon of
empowermenL. lL has Lo change ln Lhe dlrecLlon of personal responslblllLy lnsLead of emoLlonal
[udgmenL. And Lhe quesLlon everyone asks ls how?" Pow" do you make Lhls change? Pow do

www.scoLLabel.com
89

you make Lhls LranslLlon? Well flrsL sLop sLruggllng agalnsL whaL doesn'L work. We've already
esLabllshed LhaL much. 8uL ln order Lo be and Lo sLay Lruly commlLLed and moLlvaLed - you
need Lo value Lhe process and nC1 [usL Lhe percelved ouLcome. 8emember, lL ls noL abouL
welghL-loss Loday and Lomorrow. lL should be abouL long-Lerm welghL-conLrol, shouldn'L lL?
1herefore, leL go of Lhls sense of 'goal' and 'ouLcome.' ?ou musL exerclse your body because
you llke Lo exerclse your body - and lf you don'L currenLly llke Lo exerclse, Lhen have fun Lrylng
Lo flnd some form of exerclse you do llke and can connecL Lo. lorgeL abouL calorles burned and
body-sculpLlng and all Lhe resL of lL. ConnecL" wlLh exerclse because lL ls naLural for your body
Lo wanL Lo move. lurLhermore, you musL eaL rlghL because you llke Lo feel good - and Lhls
should be more lmporLanL Lhan eaLlng rlghL because you wanL Lo look good. ?ou need Lo sLop
accepLlng and buylng lnLo lndusLry hype. ?ou musL embrace or learn Lo embrace Lhe self-
empowerlng naLure of Lhe acLlvlLy lLself - wheLher Lhls be exerclslng or eaLlng rlghL. And you
need Lo be less emoLlonally focused on Lhe percelved pay off you Lhlnk you are enLlLled Lo from
dolng so. ?our dleL-menLallLy keeps you locked lnLo Lhe llmlLaLlons of Lhe percelved pay off. And
all Lhls does ls lnduce sLress ln you. 1haL ls why lL ls noL worklng. And LhaL ls why lL never wlll
work for you. And whlle lL may work for some people, lf you were one of Lhose people Lhen you
would noL be sufferlng and endurlng your welghL-conLrol problems for as long as you have
been. keep remlndlng yourself LhaL you don'L have a welghL-lssue. ?our body ls merely
reflecLlng back Lo you LhaL you have 'o tblokloq ooJ feelloq lssoe abouL your welghL. 8ecause
you can'L change whaL you don'L acknowledge. And you wlll never change whaL you don'L
undersLand.
And wlLhln Lhe emoLlonal realm of awareness you need Lo flnally come Lo grlps abouL Lhe grlp
Lhe dleL-menLallLy has over you and how you Lhlnk, feel, and acL regardlng dleLlng and your
welghL. 8ecause Lhe real and honesL LruLh ls LhaL Lhe dleL-menLallLy so conLrols your mlnd LhaL
even Lhough Lhls whole pro[ecL makes sense Lo you Lhus far - Lhe LruLh ls you are sLlll" [usL Loo
afrald" Lo sLop dleLlng, aren'L you? And hasn'L Lhe whole polnL of Lhe argumenL been LhaL
lLA8" ls Lhe fundamenLal worklng componenL of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. And Lhls ls whaL conLrols
you and keeps you lmprlsoned ln lL.
D|et and Lxerc|se hys|ca|]8ehav|ora| kea|m and Se|f-Acceptance
And so you have Lo llnk LogeLher whaL fear as a moLlvaLor does Lo you and wlLhln you. ?ou have
Lo llnk LogeLher how belng lmprlsoned wlLhln Lhe dleL-menLallLy affecLs your behavlor. lor Lhe
longesL Llme Lhe dleL-menLallLy manLra has been lf you [usL alLer your behavlor, ln Lerms of
whaL you eaL, Lhen everyLhlng wlll change. 8uL all LhaL ls changlng ls Lhe way your own mlnd
becomes polsoned wlLh self-[udgmenL and self-punlshmenL. And Lhls of course affecLs Lhe
physlcal realm of your body, lLs appearance, and your own behavlors as well.

www.scoLLabel.com
90

1ake exerclse for example. Lxerclse ls meanL Lo be fun and lnvlgoraLlng for Lhe splrlL. lL can be a
componenL parL of welghL-conLrol, or noL be llnked Lo welghL-conLrol aL all. 8uL when Lhe dleL-
menLallLy burdens your mlnd LhaL exerclse ls all abouL loslng welghL, conLrolllng welghL eLc., ->
welghL, welghL, welghL - Lhen you are unllkely Lo Lruly 'feel' Lhe Lrue beneflLs of exerclse
anyway. ln regards Lo exerclse, when Lhe dleL-menLallLy Lakes over Lhen Lhe only purpose for
exerclse ls welghL loss or welghL-conLrol. 1hls becomes Lhe 'qtlm teopet' Lo exerclse and dleL-
fulflllmenL. ?ou menLally and emoLlonally 'llnk' exerclse wlLh dleL and welghL-conLrol, calorles
burned, and all Lhe resL of lL. 1he consequence of Lhls ls LhaL you Lhen 'pot to Jeotb' Lhe beneflL
of Lhe naLural endorphlns meanL Lo enhance Lhe exerclse experlence - an experlence whlch ls
meanL Lo connecL you Lo yourself. 1haL ls why Lhese endorphlns are so lmporLanL. 1hey are Lhe
'feel good' blochemlcal responses Lo exerclse - when exerclse lsn'L lmpeded wlLh all Lhe
baggage and sLress of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. 8aLher Lhan releaslng self-calmlng hormones as a
resulL of exerclse, you conLlnue Lo release Lhe sLress hormones lnsLead because of exerclse
belng comblned wlLh Lhe dleL-menLallLy emphasls on welghL loss. ?ou aren'L freed and
expresslve ln your exerclse - you are [usL measurlng yourself wlLhln Lhe experlence of lL. And
Lhen you do so wlLh your dleL and eaLlng as well.
1rue blofeedback Leaches you Lo LrusL Lhe wlsdom of Lhe body - your body. 8uL Lo do Lhls,
requlres a compleLe shlfL and focus away from physlcal appearance and onLo physlcal
experlence. ?our dleL-menLallLy has you locked lnLo a focus on physlcal appearance - whlle aL
Lhe same Llme convlnclng you Lo lgnore physlcal experlence: 8ecause your goal lsn'L Lo feel
good from exerclse, ls lL? ?our goal ls noL Lhe ongolng process of en[oylng exerclse. ?our goal ls
all abouL ouLcomes. lL's all abouL how many calorles you burned, how hard you worked, how
much welghL you losL. lL's all parL of Lhe emoLlonal aLLachmenLs of Lhe dleL-menLallLy negaLlvely
lnfluenclng and lmpacLlng whaL are oLherwlse naLural behavloral cholces. lL's all pressure-
lnfused, when ln facL Lhe whole purpose of exerclse ls supposed Lo be Lo be 'sLress-reduclng.'
8uL when Lhe dleL-menLallLy moLlvaLes Lhe purpose behlnd why you exerclse - exerclse
becomes sLress-produclng as well.
?ou have Lo geL back Lo uslng exerclse as a means of connecLlng Lo your soul and Lo your lnner
self. lf you can [usL comprehend Lhls purpose of exerclse - [usL a llLLle - Lhen you can exerclse
wlLhouL any klnd of goal connecLed Lo physlcal appearance. And Lhen [usL allow your body Lo
Lag along ln Lhe experlence and self-expresslon of exerclse - no pressure, no fallure, no
dlsconnecL. And whaL's more, lf you exerclse wlLhln Lhls phllosophy of awareness and non-
aLLachmenL, Lhen you need nelLher a welghL scale nor a mlrror Lo do so. lsn'L lL Lhe real LruLh
LhaL you geL losL ln your exerclse purpose under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe dleL-menLallLy? ?ou Lell
yourself you exerclse wlLh 'tbe spltlt of fltoess buL ln so dolng you compleLely dlsregard and
shun 'tbe fltoess of spltlt.' And yeL lL ls Lhls 'fltoess of spltlt whlch ls supposed Lo be Lhls very

www.scoLLabel.com
91

personal componenL of whaL exerclse ls meanL Lo provlde and nourlsh ln you ln Lhe flrsL place -
before exerclse became muLaLed ln a one-dlmenslonal focus of desperaLely worklng 'on'
yourself - raLher Lhan 'experlenclng and expresslng yourself' ln a personal and empowerlng
way. 1hls emphasls on your physlcal appearance over your physlcal experlence ls whaL robs you
of Lhe naLural sLress-reduclng effecLs exerclse ls meanL Lo glve you.
...
As you learned ln ChapLer 6 - none of you are born bellevlng you should be Lhln. 1hls ls a
modern culLural consLrucL, and a very powerful one aL LhaL. 8uL lL ls also a very faulLy one slnce
lL goes agalnsL your evolved braln Lo see food and have lL." ?ou cannoL ouLLhlnk, or especlally
counLer-emoLlonallze your own human blology. 8uL Lhrough Lhls false sense of purpose for
loslng welghL or becomlng Lhln or geLLlng lean or whaLever you wanL Lo call lL - accompllshlng
Lhese Lhlngs, even for Lhe momenL 'feels' llke personal achlevemenL for you, doesn'L lL? 8uL
Lhen Lhe oLher slde of Lhe ?C-?C equaLlon happens, and you galn welghL, because Lhls ls whaL
your body has evolved Lo do. 8uL now, when you galn Lhe welghL back - LhaL feellng of personal
accompllshmenL becomes a feellng of overwhelmlng personal fallure, doesn'L lL? And Lhen you
rldlculously repeaL Lhe whole process over and over agaln. 8uL wouldn'L you be beLLer served
by [usL reallzlng Lhe fuLlllLy ln dolng so? Wouldn'L you be beLLer served by reallzlng all Lhe
accompanylng psychologlcal damage ln repeaLlng a sequence of behavlors and resLrlcLlons LhaL
wlll never Lurn ouL Lhe way you wanL?
?ou have Lo absorb all of whaL has been argued wlLhln Lhls pro[ecL Lhus far. And Lhen you have
Lo do" someLhlng abouL lL. 1he LruLh you need Lo embrace - wlLhouL emoLlon - ls LhaL when
you seL ouL Lo dleL you already seL ouL lnLo someLhlng mosL llkely Lo fall - because your body
wlll flghL you. 8uL you are never meanL Lo be aL war wlLh your body. ?our body ls meanL Lo be
an lnLegral parL of your balanced Lrlangle of awareness. And Lhe psychologlcal consequences of
Lhls war wlLh your body are even more devasLaLlng Lhan your lnablllLy Lo achleve long-Lerm
welghL-conLrol. When you ulLlmaLely and evenLually fall ln conLrolllng your welghL by dleLlng -
as over 93 of you wlll do - you Lhen label 'yootself' as Lhe fallure, lsn'L Lhls Lrue? And for Lhe
chronlc dleLer who consLanLly exerclses emoLlonal hope over calm raLlonallLy - you Lhen ln[ecL
LhaL emoLlon lnLo your 'feellngs' of belng a fallure Loo - lsn'L Lhls Lrue as well? So Lhen you sLarL
Lo belleve LhaL you yourself are 'a fallure', 'a loser' - and all of Lhe emoLlons LhaL come Lo bear
when you feel noL [usL 'defeaLed' - buL 'beaLen.' 1hls ls whaL your dleL-menLallLy really brlngs Lo
your llfe. And Lhen of course Lhls ends up lnfllLraLlng all aspecLs of your llfe as well. And you
may noL even be able Lo recognlze Lhls facL. 1hls level of negaLlve emoLlonal [udgmenL on
yourself affecLs your personallLy and how you percelve yourself. - And Lherefore lL affecLs your
cholces, your relaLlonshlps, your [ob, your moods, and your aLLlLude - ALL Cl l1. And Lo Lhlnk, lL

www.scoLLabel.com
92

all sLarLed ouL, probably a long Llme ago - wlLh a slmple and healLhy and lnnocuous goal Lo [usL
'lose a few pounds.' And Lhen 'LhaL' became abouL belng 'on' a dleL - and Lhen 'LhaL' gave blrLh
Lo Lhe dleL-menLallLy lnfecLlng your mlnd. lL's llke a cancer. lL's slnlsLer and lL spreads Lo all
oLher elemenLs of your llfe and Lo your declslon-maklng. And you need Lo accepL LhaL LruLh
before you remaln lmprlsoned by lL for a llfeLlme.
And make no mlsLake here. Lvldence ls clear LhaL less Lhan 1 dleLer ln 30 who loses subsLanLlal
welghL wlll ever be able Lo malnLaln Lhls losL welghL, long-Lerm. Lven people who recelve dleL-
guldance and supporL ln research sLudles and Lhe llke - even Lhey were llkely Lo experlence
welghL-loss of a mere 9-22 lbs. on average. And yeL Lhey were nC1 able Lo malnLaln Lhls
negllglble welghL-loss for even one year. And Lhls my whole polnL. Lven Lhe 'purpose' and
sLrucLure behlnd Lhese sLudles ls flawed from Lhe beglnnlng. MosL of Lhem reflecL Lhe exacL
problem of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. 1hese sLudles only relnforce Lhls faulLy noLlon of belng on" dleLs
-> and wlLh a goal Lo lose welghL. Long-Lerm welghL-conLrol ls never Lruly addressed excepL ln
comparlson LhaL shorL-Lerm welghL-loss cannoL be susLalned. Lven Lhese research pro[ecLs
Lhemselves are blased Loward adapLlng Lhe dleL-menLallLy. 1he emoLlonal focus on dleLlng musL
be surrendered. And Lhe ampllfled-emoLlonal-emphasls of Lhe dleL-menLallLy - LhaL Lhe 'dleL' ls
a goal and noL a sLraLegy - remalns as one of Lhe fundamenLal mlsLakes ln modern wesLern
research LhaL lLself consLanLly confuses sLudylng shorL-Lerm welghL-loss and confuslng Lhls wlLh
long-Lerm welghL-conLrol. Lven mosL of Lhese research sLudles do exacLly whaL ls wrong wlLhln
Lhe modern dleL emphasls. 1hey ampllfy Lhe lmporLance of dleL and lLs connecLlon Lo welghL-
loss. 1hey emphaslze 'ouLcomes' over 'process' - and Lhls hyper-senslLlzes Lhe lndlvldual's
sense of emoLlonal [udgmenL of herself whlle dleLlng. 1he research lLself reflecLs a fundamenLal
blas of buylng lnLo everyLhlng LhaL ls wrong wlLh Lhe 'dleL-menLallLy.'
Powever, you yourself are noL helpless ln all of Lhls elLher. ?ou yourself are an accompllce, even
perhaps unwlLLlngly, ln your own dleL-relaLed lssues. And you are an accompllce because you
accepL and lnLernallze Lhe dleL-menLallLy. And even Lhough dleLs repeaLedly fall Lo Lake you Lo
Lhe promlsed land of long-Lerm susLalnable welghL-conLrol - you yourself enLerLaln no
alLernaLlves Lo Lhe dleL-menLallLy. And wlLhln Lhls menLallLy, you do noL learn from your own
hlsLory elLher, do you? 8uL here ls Lhe long and Lhe shorL of lL all. 1o blame geneLlcs, carbs, faLs,
cravlngs, emoLlons, or anyLhlng else for welghL lssues ls Lo play Lhe role of vlcLlm. And Lhe dleL-
menLallLy loves you for playlng Lhls role. 8uL unLll you sLop dolng Lhls you wlll conLlnue Lo 'have'
welghL lssues. ?our body ls merely a reflecLlon and lnLerpreLaLlon of someLhlng 'welghlng you
down' or 'welghlng on you.' ?ou need Lo own whaL ls yours Lo own here. And you need Lo S1C
belng owned by your dleL-menLallLy. When lL comes Lo you lnLernallzlng Lhe dleL-menLallLy and
lLs effecLs on you - tbete ote oo vlctlms, ooly volooteets" - and you need Lo own LhaL. 1haL ls
Lhe only way you wlll ever be able Lo leL go of lL.

www.scoLLabel.com
93

...
And so now we need Lo address Lhe acLual physlologlcal reallLles of dleL and dleLlng Lo lose or
conLrol welghL. And Lhls becomes one of Lhe Lrlcky" buL fundamenLal and unLrue focuses of
Lhe dleL-menLallLy. 1he mlndseL of Lhe dleL-menLallLy endorses self-denlal and self-deprlvaLlon
whlle Lrylng Lo Lrlck you by saylng you can eaL more" of Lhls or LhaL klnd of food. 8uL all LhaL
your emoLlonal mlnd absorbs here ls LhaL word more" - whlle aL Lhe same Llme Lhe whole
underlylng emoLlonal emphasls of Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls Lo fear" Lhe word more" and Lo
concenLraLe on emoLlonal self-denlal and self-deprlvaLlon. So, you already have an emoLlonal
conLradlcLlon presenL LhaL puLs your mlnd aL war wlLh yourself, don'L you? 8egardless of
whaLever dleL ouL Lhere you Lry Lo follow - you are usually Lold Lo eaL more" of a cerLaln klnd
of food or foods. 8uL ln reallLy Lhls menLal noLlon of more" ls Lhe acLual problem-focus. And
you know Lhls Lo be Lrue lf you [usL slL back and Lhlnk abouL lL, wlLhouL Lhe usual emoLlonal
aLLachmenLs. 1he real and Lrue reallLy equaLlon for effecLlve welghL-conLrol ls Lo be able Lo eaL
LLSS" of everyLhlng, buL noL any speclflc slngle Lhlng. And Lhen once you embrace Lhls solld
LruLh, you need Lo Leach yourself Lo wanL Lo" eaL less - noL ln a self-denylng emoLlonal
reslsLance frame of mlnd - buL wlLhln a self-connecLed and self-compasslonaLe mlnd. 8uL unLll
Lhen, your dleL-menLallLy wlll conLlnue Lo send you Lhe mlxed message LhaL wlLhln your dleL x"
- you can eaL more" of Lhls or LhaL food. And Lhls of course appeals dlrecLly Lo your emoLlonal
mlnd - whlch makes loslng welghL a conLradlcLory proposlLlon as you Lhlnk you should be
allowed" Lo eaL more, and lose welghL.
hyslologlcally - agaln you have been mlsled abouL Lhe reallLles of dleLs and dleLlng. ?ou have
been led Lo belleve LhaL feellngs of fullness or saLlaLlon are ln Lhe sLomach, buL Lhey are noL.
1he sensaLlon of saLlaLlon Lakes place ln Lhe braln. So, lL makes sense LhaL undersLandlng more
abouL how Lhe braln deLermlnes and affecLs saLleLy - should be more lmporLanL Lhan sLudylng
all Lhese rldlculous food-rules whlch relaLe Lo dleLlng. uleLlng and Lhe advocaLes of speclflc dleLs
never properly address saLlaLlon and hunger ln real and Lrue physlologlcal Lerms. 1hey only
address Lhem ln passlng. Cf course Lhese companles, coaches, or Lralners who make money on
dleLs do noL wanL Lo explaln Lo you Lhe reallLles of Lhe blology of welghL-conLrol. So Lhey deal
wlLh noLlons of hunger, cravlngs, and saLleLy ln more dressed-up verblage - and wlshful-Lype
promlses LhaL go wlLh lL. ?ou know whaL l mean - ?ou can eaL all of Lhls cerLaln food you wanL
on 'our' dleL." (always ends up belng foods llke cabbage, celery, leLLuce and Lhe llke) 1he only
problem here ls LhaL your braln knows you don'L 'wanL' a loL of LhaL food, do you? 1haL klnd of
food ls never golng Lo be physlologlcally saLlaLlng. 8ecause remember, your braln also connecLs
emoLlonal comforL wlLh Lhe feedlng experlence. Can you lmaglne lf you adapL Lhls phllosophy
and go Lo Lhe movles and flll a large popcorn bag wlLh celery or leLLuce or cabbage? Lven as you
read Lhls sLaLemenL, feel" whaL your auLomaLlc physlologlcal response ls Lo LhaL ldea. lL's noL

www.scoLLabel.com
94

poslLlve ls lL? lL's noL comforLlng, ls lL? 8uL lsn'L Lhls Lhe false-ldenLlLy you Lry Lo assume under
each and every dleL you Lry Lo" follow?
And remember your body's cravlngs are also poLenLlally creaLed by your own eaLlng behavlor
and paLLerns and hablLs as well. And Lhls can become lLs own vlclous clrcle. Cnce agaln, how
you eaL ls lmporLanL - buL whaL research shows here and Lhere as well, whaL you eaL can also
conLrlbuLe Lo Lhese lssues, [usL noL ln Lhe way you Lhlnk. And we wlll cover LhaL ln deLall ln Lhe
nexL chapLer regardlng how Lo eaL." 8uL even a maladapLlve dleL-behavlor llke chewlng gum,
can send arLlflclal cravlngs off Lhe charLs - and [usL relnforce more sLruggllng wlLhln yourself. So
leL's be clear here. 1here ls no such Lhlng as a hunger-be-gone" or cravlngs-be-gone" plll or
supplemenL or dleL. So whaL remalns ls self-conLrol. Wlll power ls noL Lhe same level of energy
as self-conLrol. Wlll power ls Lhe dleL-menLallLy experlence. lL's all abouL menLal and emoLlonal
reslsLance and self-denlal and self-deprlvaLlon. 8uL LhaL can never lasL - because Lhere ls never
a percelved end Lo lL, ls Lhere? 1he LruLh ls you elLher masLer hunger and cravlngs or you allow
Lhem Lo masLer you. 8uL you do noL and cannoL ever masLer Lhem, by Lhlnklng you can reslsL
Lhem. ?ou have Lrled LhaL on every deprlvaLlon dleL you've ever been on. And whaL happened
over Lhe long-haul? 8emember as dlscussed ln a prevlous chapLer whaL ls requlred here ls a
remlnder of Lhe mlndseL of reslsLance. 1he Zen expresslon ls teslstooce ls bell." And lL ls hell
because lL places your mlnd ln a sLaLe of LormenL. And yeL lsn'L your dleL-menLallLy based
compleLely on creaLlng and encouraglng a mlndseL of reslsLance - Lhrough self-deprlvaLlon,
self-denlal, and overall fear?
And lf dleLlng by food-resLrlcLlon and reslsLlng urges worked - (as ln, 'eot tbls oot tbot) Lhen
why would you have Lo keep repeaLlng Lhe same process over and over agaln? 1he Lrue reallLy
maLh lnvolved here ls [usL much slmpler, emoLlonally and physlologlcally. 1he reallLy ls [usL glve
your body healLhy/good food wlLhouL deprlvlng lL - and your body wlll do healLhy and good
Lhlngs wlLh LhaL food ln a non-deprlved and 'abundanL' way. Marvelous, lsn'L lL? And yeL lsn'L lL
Lrue LhaL your dleL-menLallLy prevenLs you from even accepLlng a slmple equaLlon such as Lhls?
lsn'L lL Lrue your dleL-menLallLy has you convlnced LhaL lf you [usL work on your ouLer
appearance, Lhen evenLually once LhaL ls accompllshed, your lnner experlence wlll be more
conLenL and happy? And yeL, ln Lhose brlef days ln prevlous dleLs where you losL Lhe welghL -
and before Lhe welghL sLarLed plllng back on agaln - has Lhls dleL-menLallLy equaLlon LhaL -
ouLer appearance ls more lmporLanL Lhan lnner experlence - has Lhls false equaLlon ever led
you feellng and belng more conLenL and happy?
lL's [usL Loo heavy a burden Lo bear Loo hard Lo llve wlLh ln real Lerms. Look aL Lhls way be
analogy Lhen. So you renovaLe Lhe ouLer appearance of your house - new palnL, cuL Lhe grass,
new roof, new sldlng eLc. ?ou 'feel' wlLhln yourself LhaL whaL Lhe nelghbors and Lhe people who

www.scoLLabel.com
9S

'drlve by' - whaL Lhey see maLLers mosL. And Lhey see your 'house.' 8uL lnslde, ln your acLual
'home' where you acLually llve - lL's a mess. 1here ls cluLLer, Lhe plumblng doesn'L work, Lhe
wlrlng ls bad and dangerous. 1here are holes ln Lhe wall and holes ln Lhe floor and Llle. And
Lhere ls refuse and dusL everywhere, because you only work on Lhe 'appearance' of your house,
lnsLead of Lhe 'funcLlon' of your home. Can you lmaglne llvlng ln a home llke Lhls? Well many of
you are dolng [usL LhaL because Lhls ls whaL your dleL-menLallLy Leaches you. lL Leaches you Lo
focus on Lhe ouLer-appearance and Lhen Lhe lnner-experlence won'L feel so bad. LxcepL, llvlng
Lhls lle never sLops feellng bad, does lL? And as a slde-noLe, lmaglne Lhe resale value of such a
home? ?ou need Lo Lhlnk abouL Lhls analogy and how Lhe dleL-menLallLy affecLs how you see
yourself ln Lhe world around you. - 1he appearance of your house, vs. Lhe funcLlon of your
home.
lor lnsLance, each and every year l am presenLed wlLh whaL l call 1he vacaLlon Cuandary" by
cllenLs or by people who wanL Lo purchase a dleL ln order Lo 'prepare' for Lhelr upcomlng
vacaLlon. And Lhls speaks volumes as Lo Lhe effecLs and depLh of peneLraLlon of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy. And you may Lhlnk whaL ls wrong wlLh wanLlng Lo geL ln shape for a vacaLlon? Well
Lhlnk lL Lhrough ln Lerms of loglc. 1hlnk lL Lhrough ln Lerms of Lhe house and home analogy
above. uo you really Lhlnk LhaL oLher people who you don'L know and who wlll never see you
agaln care" abouL how you look ln a baLhlng sulL? uo you really Lhlnk Lhe person you are
Lravelllng wlLh cares?" uo you really Lhlnk LhaL any person who sees you whlle on vacaLlon ls
ever golng Lo remember ?Cu8 8Cu? as a parL of 1PLl8 vacaLlon?
Myself, l Lravel Lo Lhe Carlbbean every year and l can'L Lhlnk of a slngle person ln all Lhese years
who l've ever recalled ln my mlnd - and as parL of my vacaLlon - because of how Lhey looked ln
a baLhlng sulL! And leL's say you dleL and lose 13 lbs or so before your vacaLlon. uo you Lhlnk
some sLranger you meeL even knows you have losL LhaL welghL, [usL by looklng aL you? Who
exacLly are you dolng Lhls for? And you lnsLanLly say you dleL for you, and Lo feel beLLer abouL
yourself and Lo noL feel as self-consclous. 8uL Lhlnk abouL LhaL. Answer why" you wanL Lo lose
welghL for your vacaLlon 3 x's over, and see where Lhose answers Lake you. ?our dleL-menLallLy
has you so self-absorbed LhaL you Lhlnk how you look ls acLually someLhlng oLher people are
golng Lo reglsLer and keep ln Lhelr mlnds abouL 1PLl8 CWn" vacaLlon. ?ou Lhlnk you need Lo
look a cerLaln way or you wlll be looked aL a cerLaln way. 8uL none of LhaL ls Lrue, ls lL?
And here ls also a very common physlcal experlence LhaL Lransplres for so many of you who
dleL" Lo prepare for a vacaLlon. As you dleL Lo lose welghL Lo prepare for a vacaLlon, you puL
your body ln a deprlvaLlon sLaLe for several weeks. So Lhen when you geL Lo your desLlnaLlon
and you sLarL Lo en[oy" your vacaLlon, you experlence an lmmedlaLe rebound of waLer-welghL
galn. WhaL would have been a naLural galn of a pound or Lwo, becomes Lrlple LhaL, almosL

www.scoLLabel.com
96

lnsLanLly, because your body wanLs Lo hold on Lo every calorles LhaL lL's been deprlved of - and
along wlLh LhaL - lL holds on Lo waLer-welghL as well. lurLhermore, your sLrlcL 'vacaLlon-
preparaLlon-dleL' also makes your dlgesLlve sysLem exLremely senslLlve as well. So - lf you are
Lravelllng ouLslde your own counLry - Lhen as soon as you begln sampllng Lhe local fare you
sLarL Lo experlence Lremendous dlgesLlve sLress, cramps, bloaLlng, dlarrhea - all of lL. And you
don'L reallze lL's noL Lhe local food. lL was your vacaLlon-preparaLlon-dleL LhaL seL all Lhls ln
moLlon. lL's acLually qulLe predlcLable. And l see lL each and every year.
And Lhen Lhere ls Lhe fllp-slde Lo Lhls dleL-menLallLy - dleLlng for vacaLlon nonsense as well. ?ou
are so afrald you mlghL en[oy" food on your vacaLlon LhaL you become your own lood nazl
CesLapo for Lhe duraLlon of your whole vacaLlon. And ln Lhls example, you noL only saboLage
your own vacaLlon-experlence buL more Lhan llkely you negaLlvely lmpacL Lhe people you are
Lravelllng wlLh as well. And whaL all Lhls speaks Lo ls how deeply Lhe dleL-menLallLy conLrols you
- even whlle you mlsLakenly Lhlnk you conLrol lL. 8ecause when you Lhlnk abouL lL you know
LhaL 'preparlng your body' for vacaLlon ls noL a naLural emoLlonal lncllnaLlon, ls lL? 1hls ls whaL
your dleL-menLallLy robs from you. lsn'L Lhe naLural lncllnaLlon Lo prepare your mlnd for
vacaLlon" lnsLead? 1hlnk abouL lL.
lnsLead of worry and anxleLy over how you look - whlch no one who maLLers cares abouL - how
dlfferenL would you feel and acL lf you [usL embraced a pendlng vacaLlon wlLh exclLemenL and
anLlclpaLlon unlmpeded by selflsh body-consclousness? lmaglne how a chlld would embrace
hearlng of a pendlng planned vacaLlon. lmaglne lf you surprlsed your klds (or any chlld) by
Lelllng Lhem you are Laklng Lhem Lo ulsneyland Lhls wlnLer. Would you expecL Lhem Lo respond
wlLh exclLemenL and anLlclpaLlon and eagerness and poslLlve emoLlon? Cr would you expecL
Lhem Lo reacL Lo LhaL news wlLh a response of - Ch no, Pow long do l have Lo geL my body
ready before we go?" ?eL lsn'L Lhls Lhe klnd of en[oymenL exLlngulshmenL and self-saboLage
your dleL-menLallLy puLs on you ln Lhe vacaLlon quandary?" - ?ou saboLage your own
exclLemenL and anLlclpaLlon well-before Lhe vacaLlon even arrlves. And lL's because you Lhlnk
you have Lo prepare for lL" wlLh a dleL. And Lhen you reLurn from such a vacaLlon un-resLed,
and unresLored. ?ou spend a loL of your vacaLlon feellng exposed and naked over how you look.
?ou don'L reallze no one cares. ?ou spend a loL of your vacaLlon wlshlng you had losL more
welghL. ?ou spend a loL of your vacaLlon LormenLed over wheLher Lo leL go and en[oy all Lhe
food, or Lry Lo" dleL Lo some exLenL. All of Lhese peLLy concerns [usL Lake more and more of Lhe
poLenLlal experlence away from you. And mosL of lL sLarLs before you even geL Lhere. 1hls ls
how Lhe dleL-menLallLy works on you. 8uL lmaglne lf you could [usL prepare your mlnd for
vacaLlon as a chlld would - lnsLead of Lhlnklng you need Lo prepare your body for lL. 1he dleL-
menLallLy and self-consclousness LhaL goes wlLh lL has you overemphaslzlng a self-absorbed
senLlmenL of oh no - someone wlll see me ln a baLhlng sulL." 8uL lmaglne lf Lhls sense of self-

www.scoLLabel.com
97

consclousness wasn'L Lhere. lmaglne Lhe llfL" LhaL Lhe exclLemenL and anLlclpaLlon of an
upcomlng vacaLlon would provlde you. And Lhen lmaglne Lhe level of experlence Lhls klnd of
unfeLLered emoLlon would lead Lo on Lhe acLual vacaLlon? 1he dleL-menLallLy ls a mlndseL of
lmprlsonmenL. Cnly Lhe process of self-accepLance can you free you from LhaL. 1he noLlon LhaL
you need Lo 'prepare your body' for a vacaLlon, ls a fool-hearLy noLlon lndeed.
...
1he dleL-menLallLy has all of lLs moLlvaLlons ln negaLlve emoLlonal power. 8uL LhoughLs and
emoLlons LhaL are based ln doubL, anxleLy and fear, only lead Lo self-consclousness, noL self-
awakenlng. 1houghLs based ln doubL, anxleLy and fear never accompllsh anyLhlng and never
wlll. 1hey always lead Lo fallure. 1hls ls Lhe LruLh and Lhe reallLy you need Lo flnally face abouL
your dleL-menLallLy. lL holds you back from yourself. lL wlll nLvL8 LvL8 help you Lo leap
forward wlLhln yourself. Cnly a self-accepLlng foundaLlon of moLlvaLlon can Lake you Lo Lhe
goals you Lhlnk your dleL-menLallLy can Lake you Lo. Self-accepLance ls Lhe process you need Lo
adapL. And Lhe process ls Lhe goal - and Lhe goal ls Lhe process. 1here ls no end polnL" or
accompllshmenL" ln LhaL reallLy.

www.scoLLabel.com
98

Chapter 9
Deve|op|ng a "ke|evant and kea|" D|et-Strategy

?ou have now spenL mosL of Lhls pro[ecL developlng a clear undersLandlng of how your dleL-
menLallLy saboLages your efforLs aL welghL-loss and more lmporLanLly, for long-Lerm welghL-
conLrol. 1he LruLh ls you are unllkely Lo ever LoLally eradlcaLe your dleL-menLallLy. lL ls llkely
deeply embedded ln your psyche. 8uL Lhe goal musL be Lo Lurn down lLs volume - Lurn down lLs
level of lnfluence on you. And Lo do LhaL, you need Lo replace Lhe dleL-menLallLy wlLh
someLhlng more Langlble and rellable. And you need Lo replace lL wlLh a mlndseL LhaL has far
less emoLlonal aLLachmenLs Lo a sLraLegy for long-Lerm welghL-conLrol. When l suggesL Lo you
Lo surrender your dleL-menLallLy, you wlll mosL llkely have an lmmedlaLe knee-[erk reacLlon Lo
LhaL ldea. And an emoLlonal reacLlon sLlll [usL shows Lhe lnfluence of Lhe Lhlng you are Lrylng Lo
geL rld of. 1o leL go of Lhe dleL-menLallLy does noL suddenly mean embraclng a dleL of donuLs
and chocolaLe. 1o Lhlnk so, would mean you are sLlll conLrolled by your dleL-menLallLy.
8uL Lhe goal of a real dleL-sLraLegy ls Lo move beyond emoLlonal aLLachmenLs over whaL you
eaL. 1he goal of a real dleL-sLraLegy ls Lo exerclse personal responslblllLy ln flndlng a workable
way Lo feed yourself and embrace Lhe process of dolng so. 8esponslble approaches Lo dleL-
sLraLegy means you know deep down you don'L wanL Lo eaL an endless supply of cake and
cookles. 8uL you do have Lo leL go of Lhese emoLlonal labels you aLLach Lo food - such as good
or bad" foods - and Lhen Lhe emoLlonal aLLachmenL you puL on yourself as good or bad" for
lndulglng ln Lhem. lL [usL doesn'L make any sense. 8uL you keep falllng aL dleLlng because you
embrace Lhe dleL-menLallLy. And you only embrace Lhe dleL-menLallLy because you don'L
undersLand whaL a real 'dleL-sLraLegy' even ls. And LhaL ls whaL you need Lo undersLand lf you
are Lo ever geL long Lerm welghL-conLrol, under conLrol - and have boLh, welghL and dleL -
flnally be a non-lssue ln your llfe.
1rue and real managemenL of a welghL-loss or welghL-conLrol sLraLegy ls won only when you
can sLop Lalklng and Lhlnklng abouL Lhe ulLlmaLe goal. 1he more you emoLlonally cllng" Lo LhaL
goal (of loslng welghL), Lhe more llkely you are Lo fall. Pasn'L your hlsLory of dleLlng LaughL you
Lhls much by now? ?ou need Lo [usL sLarL Lhe process of Lhe [ourney and emoLlonally leL go of
Lhe desLlnaLlon. WhaL maLLers are Lhe baby sLeps of commlLLlng Lo a process of conLlnual
lmprovemenL. WhaL doesn'L maLLer ls some lmaglnary flnal desLlnaLlon. And make no mlsLake,
commlLLlng Lo consLanL lmprovemenL ls noL Lhe same as an emoLlonal focus on whaL you don'L
wanL. ?ou can'L conLlnue Lo emoLlonally brow-beaL yourself over your welghL and your body

www.scoLLabel.com
99

and expecL LhaL Lhls ls congruenL Lo a paLh of conLlnued lmprovemenL. arL of LhaL paLh of
conLlnual lmprovemenL PAS 1C 8L for you Lo embrace where you are aL, and accepL lL. lf you
conLlnue Lo focus emoLlonally on 'oot wootloq to be ovetwelqbt' durlng Lhls process - Lhen LhaL
emoLlonal aLLachmenL wlll always saboLage your efforLs. Cnce agaln - hasn'L your hlsLory of
dleLlng already LaughL you Lhls LruLh, over and over agaln? locuslng on your own self-
lmprovemenL as a process vs. focuslng on whaL you wanL Lo ellmlnaLe abouL yourself, are Lwo
dlfferenL Lhlngs. lf you conLlnue Lhe negaLlve emoLlonal emphasls on your welghL, you enllven
and helghLen emoLlon ln yourself. And Lhls ls whaL your dleL-menLallLy Lhrlves on. lL's whaL lL
Lhrlves ln.
?our auLhenLlc moLlvaLlon for underLaklng any self-lmprovemenL program musL be lnLrlnslc -
and cosmeLlc vanlLy concerns are noL lnLrlnslc. lf you only wanL Lo 'look bettet' over 'feelloq
bettet' or over 'beloq bettet' Lhen you wlll evenLually fall. And hasn'L Lhls been your repeaLed
level of experlence ln your aLLempLs Lo lose welghL? 1he essence of Lrue long-Lerm change or
LransformaLlon ls noL ever ln a cerLaln Lechnlque or reclpe - as ln Lhls or LhaL dleL. lL's abouL
your own personal wlll. And Lrue wlll ls always an lnslde-ouL dellvery sysLem. 8uL your dleL-
menLallLy conLlnues Lo lle Lo you and you conLlnue Lo belleve Lhose lles. ?ou conLlnue Lo belleve
LhaL self-lmprovemenL ls Lhe 'resulL' of welghL-loss and noL Lhe 'cause' of lL. And Lherefore you
lnvesL more ln your ouLer appearance Lhan ln your lnner experlence. And Lhen you keep
repeaLlng Lhls falled guldance-sysLem over and over agaln.
uleLs Lend Lo be abouL LreaLlng Lhe effecLs of Lhe problem and noL Lhe problem lLself. A dleL ls
nC1 a goal Lo have. A dleL ls a behavlor, or a sLraLegy. ?ou cannoL make 'sLlcklng Lo Lhe dleL' a
goal or you wlll develop emoLlonal aLLachmenL and self-[udgmenL along wlLh LhaL goal. And you
wlll fall. 1hls ls whaL Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls. 1hls ls how you deflne lL. And Lhls ls how lL always
unfolds wlLh you on Lhe loslng end of LhaL equaLlon. Cnce agaln, how much of Lhls hlsLory do
you need Lo keep repeaLlng before you learn LhaL lL ls [usL a faulLy equaLlon? And you deserve
beLLer Lhan Lo conLlnue Lo emoLlonally submlL yourself Lo lL. A goal of welghL-loss ls noL even
close Lo belng Lhe same Lhlng as a sLraLegy for long-Lerm welghL conLrol. ln facL a Lrue sLraLegy
for long-Lerm welghL-conLrol conLalns esLabllshlng and susLalnlng welghL-loss wlLhln LhaL
sLraLegy - 8uL Lhe mere goal of welghL-loss on lLs own, falls ln ever esLabllshlng a long-Lerm
dleL-sLraLegy for welghL-conLrol. And lf your sLraLeglc rules are [usLlfled only ln Lerms of
ouLcomes - Lhen Lhe dleL wlll always feel llke a punlshmenL of sorLs - someLhlng negaLlve LhaL
you musL endure. 1hls leads only Lo Lhe experlence of personal doubL regardlng how aLLalnable
and susLalnable vs. how unaLLalnable and unsusLalnable Lhe welghL-loss 'reward' ls golng Lo be.
1he polnL ls LhaL such an lnLense focus on 'ootcome ovet ptocess ls always golng Lo be
emoLlonally resenLed ln your mlnd. And Lhls ls Lhe dleL-menLallLy problem aL lLs cenLer. When
your mlnd and your behavlor are noL compaLlble wlLh each oLher - and when your emoLlonal

www.scoLLabel.com
100

aLLachmenLs are helghLened as well - ?ou end up wlLh [usL a mlsh-mash of puzzle pleces, none
of whlch flL LogeLher ln a way LhaL allows you Lo feel and be connecLed wlLh yourself.
lor any 'real' sLraLegy Lo work lL ls noL enough Lo Lry Lo change dally hablLs. lf lL were, you
would never have Lo keep repeaLlng any welghL-loss efforLs, would you? WlLhouL a change ln
Lhe aLLlLudes LhaL drlve Lhese hablLs - Lhe connecLed comblnaLlon of your LhoughLs, feellngs,
and percepLlons - Lhen your new and lmproved dleL-endeavor ls golng Lo fall - [usL llke Lhe lasL
one dld, and Lhe one before LhaL. So lL should be obvlous Lo you by now ln your Lhlnklng LhaL a
dleL-sLraLegy ls a fundamenLally dlfferenL Lhlng Lhan a dleL-goal. 1he 'eaL Lhls noL LhaL' mandaLe
of Lhe dleL-menLallLy wlll fall because lL doesn'L connecL your LhoughLs, feellngs, percepLlons,
and behavlor Lo each oLher. So, whaL would such a connecLlon look llke? 1o answer LhaL - l go
back Lo Lhe example of 1he lrench aradox. 8emember, 1he lrench eaL faLs, Lhey eaL carbs,
Lhey eaL sugars, and Lhey consume alcohol. MosL real experLs would label Lhe way Lhe lrench
eaL, as hollsLlc" and healLhy." 8uL whaL ls more lmporLanL Lo sLress ls 'how' Lhey eaL as well.
1hey eaL Lhls way wlLh a connecLed-sense of freedom and pleasure. 1hls ls whaL makes 'how'
Lhey eaL even more hollsLlcally connecLed and healLhy. 1hey are slmply noL sLressed by noLlons
of dleL, dleLs, and dleLlng. 1hey are especlally noL sLressed over mlcro-componenLs of foods by
labellng Lhem as good or bad. And all Lhls 'sboolJ be Lhe polnL - especlally lf you conslder your
norLh Amerlcan dleL-menLallLy by conLrasL. ls Lhere anyLhlng connecLed, pleasurable, and free
of pressure abouL Lhe 'eaL Lhls noL LhaL' emoLlonal mandaLe of your dleL-menLallLy? ?ou see
1he lrench aradox lllusLraLes Lhe fallacy LhaL long-Lerm welghL-conLrol ls far less abouL whaL
you eaL. WelghL-conLrol ls more abouL how connecLed you are Lo how you eaL - and Lo how you
eaL ln general. WelghL-conLrol ls also abouL how you Lhlnk and feel abouL how you eaL as well.
1o be anxlous over a blologlcal survlval mandaLe llke eaLlng behavlor slmply does noL make
raLlonal sense. And you need Lo geL back Lo a sLraLegy LhaL lnvolves a healLhler means as Lo
'how' you eaL raLher Lhan belng so overly emoLlonally focused on whaL you eaL. (As a slde noLe,
Lhe flnal secLlon of Lhls pro[ecL wlll be abouL sound rules for a relevanL and raLlonal dleL-
sLraLegy)
So of course loslng welghL can seem llke lL bolls down Lo Lhese Lwo Lhlngs - your eaLlng
behavlor, and how you Lhlnk and feel abouL Lhls behavlor. 8uL even Lhese Lwo speclflc levels of
focus can help Lo remove you from Lhe 'eaL Lhls noL LhaL' whaL-Lo-eaL, faulLy equaLlon of Lhe
dleL-menLallLy.
...
8uL all of Lhls leads Lo anoLher baslc and cenLral quesLlon you need Lo address as well ln all of
Lhls. uo you even undersLand Lhe dlfference beLween a real sLraLegy and quesLlonable goal?

www.scoLLabel.com
101

1he classlc dleL-menLallLy mlsLake ls ln Lhlnklng LhaL Lhe 'goal' ls welghL-loss. 8uL as we've
addressed already - rlghL Lhlnklng would dlcLaLe LhaL Lhere should really be nC 'goal' Lo a Lrue
and real dleL-sLraLegy. 1he emphasls should be on 'tbe ptocess of welqbt-coottol - and Lhe by-
producL of Lhls level of focus would be susLalnable and manageable welghL-loss - wlLh Lhe
added beneflL of Lurnlng down your false negaLlve emoLlonal aLLachmenLs Lo whaL you eaL. And
once you face Lhe facL LhaL susLalnable welghL conLrol means 'tbe ptocess ls tbe qool ooJ tbe
qool ls tbe ptocess - Lhen Lhe lmporLance of Lhe connecLedness of yourself Lo all of Lhls falls
lnLo place as well. When you percelve 'dleL' as a goal lL becomes an ouLer enLlLy. And Lhls
creaLes faulLy percepLlons LhaL also usually produce self-saboLaglng behavlors.
?ou cannoL concelve 'a dleL' as an enLlLy ln lLself, ouLslde of your real llfe, buL under Lhe dleL-
menLallLy lnfluence, LhaL ls exacLly whaL you do. And all such percepLlons wlll mean you wlll fall
Lhe dleL, and Lhe dleL wlll fall you as well. ?ou cannoL properly and connecLedly vlew 'a dleL' llke
-> tbete ls my teol llfe ovet bete, ooJ tbete ls my Jlet ooJ welqbt-loss qool ovet tbete." And yeL
Lhls ls exacLly Lhe klnd of separaLlon Lhe dleL-menLallLy produces ln you ln regards Lo how you
percelve all of Lhls. 1hls can never work - noL ln real Lerms and cerLalnly noL ln Lhe long-Lerm as
a susLalnable sLraLegy" for welghL-conLrol. uleL-sLraLegy ls elLher a susLalnable reglmen or lL's
noL! 1he Lerm '5ttoteqy' ln Lhls sense ls abouL Lhe rouLlne of process and Lhe process of rouLlne.
lL cannoL ever be abouL speclal evenLs, appllcaLlons, and proLocols. 1o make lL abouL Lhese
Lhlngs ls Lo make Lhe dleL Lhe goal - lnsLead of Lhe dleL belng a worklng process and sLraLegy Lo
meeL and susLaln a goal. And your dleL-menLallLy falls because lL confuses dleL-sLraLegy wlLh Lhe
dleL as a 'goal' ln Lerms of sLlcklng wlLh lL, or sLaylng on lL.
So leL's puL dleL-sLraLegy" as a phrase ln real Lerms Lhen, shall we? ?ou are elLher serlously on
Lhe program of your llfe and for your llfe, or you are wasLlng your Llme - L8lCu. And Lhls
'serlousness-facLor' and 'program-facLor' - Lhey are abouL ?Cu - 1hey are noL abouL whaL you
eaL or do noL eaL. ?ou need Lo geL LhaL sLralghL ln your mlnd, rlghL from Lhe beglnnlng. l use Lhe
Lerm dleL-sLraLegy" because lL ls Lermlnology LhaL ouLllnes an approach Lo welghL-conLrol LhaL
ls well beyond Lhe dleL-menLallLy." WlLhln Lhe overall proper conslderaLlon of a Lrue dleL-
sLraLegy" your dleL-menLallLy wlll have a dlmlnlshed role of lnfluence - lf lL has any lnfluence aL
all. 8emember a 'dleL-sLraLegy' has everyLhlng Lo do wlLh how you Lhlnk and feel abouL how
you eaL. We use Lhe Lerm 'dleL-sLraLegy' for welghL-conLrol because LhaL ls exacLly whaL lL
should be. ?our 'dleL' ls noL Lhe goal and never can be. uleL ls a process - and agaln - wlLhouL
Lhe heavy emoLlonal aLLachmenLs of Lhe dleL-menLallLy -> Lhe process ls Lhe goal and Lhe goal ls
Lhe process. l repeaL LhaL phrase because lL warranLs repeaLlng.
1he Lrue quesLlon Lhen becomes -> WhaL dleL-sLraLegy or focus - lf lnLegraLed lnLo Lhe ootmol
operaLlon of your dally llfe - ls acLually golng Lo geL you Lo funcLlon aL Lhe level tepolteJ Lo

www.scoLLabel.com
102

achleve Lhe beneflLs you seek?" noLlce Lhe wordlng used ln Lhls quesLlon as well. 1he Lwo key
words here are normal" - as ln Lhe normal" operaLlon of your dally llfe - and Lhe word
requlred" - noL Lhe word deslred" and noL wlLh any emoLlonal welghL or pressure ln Lhe
sense of belng an absoluLe" level of focus on dleL - and on noLhlng buL dleL. So whaL klnds of
dleL-sLraLegles are you prepared Lo adapL as a cenLral parL of your regular operaLlng llfesLyle?
Cnce agaln, Lhe focus needs Lo be on Lhe 'llve' process of all of Lhese conslderaLlons, doesn'L lL?
?ou slmply wlll noL 'succeed' lf you conLlnue Lo allow your dleL-menLallLy Lo lead you Lo Lhlnk
your welghL-loss goal" ls some klnd of end-game. And of course you make Lhls dlsLorLed
Lhlnklng even more llkely Lo fall when you lnLenslfy and ampllfy emoLlonal aLLachmenLs Lo
unreallsLlc sLrlngenL rules Lo follow and Lo [udge yourself by ln Lerms of whaL are allowed or noL
allowed Lo eaL on Lhe dleL. ls Lhls how you really wanL Lo llve - ln a way where you are always
under your own lnflaLed sense self-[udgmenL over whaL you eaL?
So, as you answer Lhese quesLlons: - lf you flnd you don'L 'llke' any of your dleL-opLlons, Lhen
can you Lhlnk of any oLher such dleL-opLlons LhaL you can adapL wlLhln Lhe dally operaLlon of
Lhe process of your llfe LhaL you can llve wlLh more slmply and easlly? ?ou need Lo Lhlnk of
dleLlng more as sLyle" - and ln Lhls case as llfe-style." 1herefore, lnsLead of a mlsgulded and
dlsLorLed focus on whaL you are allowed Lo eaL or noL allowed Lo eaL - Lhlnk lnsLead abouL
adapLlng speclflc hablLs - Lhlngs llke keeplng regular meal Llmes - and Lhlngs LhaL wlll flL lnLo
Lhe process of how you llve your day Lo day llfe. (1he flnal chapLer glves you some very slmply
and effecLlve ldeas for Lhls.) Pence, under Lhe lnfluence of your dleL-menLallLy, lf Lhere ls no
dleL LhaL you can underLake LhaL you can susLaln and follow for Lhe long-Lerm - Lhen you musL
conclude LhaL you are slmply noL wllllng or currenLly unable Lo pursue Lhe Lrue and real
sLraLeglc goal. And you need Lo keep ln mlnd agaln, LhaL a 'dleL' - ls Lhe sLraLegy here and noL
Lhe goal. 1he goal ls long-Lerm welghL-conLrol, never shorL-Lerm welghL-loss. 1he ongolng
process ls abouL exerclslng personal responslblllLy - wlLhouL emoLlonal aLLachmenLs Lo
emoLlonal self-[udgmenL - 1haL ls Lhe Lrue and workable foundaLlon of a funcLlonal dleL-
sLraLegy. And you need Lo read LhaL senLence agaln several Llmes before proceedlng on.
...
Lstab||sh|ng ersona| r|nc|p|es for a Workab|e D|et-Strategy
?ou need Lo flnally declde LhaL your dleL-menLallLy of 'eaL Lhls noL LhaL' has never led Lo you
belng able Lo conLrol your welghL forever. AL besL all lL does ls creaLe Lhls false sense of
pressure and Lhls ampllfled sense of emoLlonal lnvaslon lnLo whaL should be someLhlng LhaL
should [usL slmply be a worklng parL of your day and noLhlng more. ?ou wouldn'L geL
emoLlonally lnvesLed abouL brushlng your LeeLh every day would you? ?ou wouldn'L spend

www.scoLLabel.com
103

hours and hours ponderlng over use Lhls LooLhpasLe, noL LhaL one" klnd of focus would you?
8uL once you adapL Lhe dleL-menLallLy your eaLlng hablLs can also become a !ekyl/Pyde"-
PelLer SkelLer" spllL personallLy schlzophrenla of 2 dleL mlnds ln one braln. Cne mlnd ls your
dleL-menLallLy of good glrl/bad glrl, reward/punlsh, black and whlLe Lhlnklng. 8uL Lhen you have
lLs opposlLe of Lhe emoLlonally-comforLlng self-compasslonaLe menLallLy. Cf course, Lhese Lwo
mlnds do noL co-exlsL well. Powever, placlng Lhe dleL-menLallLy under Lhe parenLal conLrol of
Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd ls Lhe alm. Maklng Lhese Lwo separaLe mlndseLs exlsL as one
balanced menLal approach - ln one balanced person - 1hls ls Lhe alm. And lL doesn'L so much
requlre 'conquerlng' your emoLlonal energy - as lL does requlre 'undersLandlng' your emoLlonal
energy - and chooslng Lhe compasslonaLe mlnd as Lhe guldlng compass Lo do so. 1hls ls whaL
Lurns down Lhe volume of Lhe consLanL dleL-menLallLy message. Worklng Lo undersLand your
emoLlonal energy ls a form of self-accepLance. And remember self-accepLance ls Lhe paLh of Lhe
self-compasslonaLe mlnd. lL's [usL LhaL your dleL menLallLy has you worklng Lo always Lry and
conquer your emoLlonal energy, wheLher you undersLand lL or noL doesn'L seem Lo maLLer
wlLhln Lhe dleL-menLallLy focus. And as you've no doubL learned by now, Lhls won'L work for
very long, elLher for Lhe shorL-Lerm purpose of welghL-loss - or especlally Lhe long-Lerm goal of
welghL-conLrol.
8uL you need Lo focus less on Lhls LargeL desLlnaLlon of long-Lerm welghL-conLrol. WhaL you
need Lo focus on more ls how you conducL yourself all along Lhe way Lo geLLlng Lhere. ?ou musL
llve Lhe process ln a way LhaL relnforces and sLrengLhens your prlnclples and values as you go
along. And Lhls ls someLhlng LhaL no one has ever sald Lo you before regardlng welghL-loss and
welghL-conLrol. 8uL lf you don'L llve Lhe process Lhls way Lhen more ls losL Lhan ls galned. 1hlnk
abouL lL. Cnce you adapL Lhe dleL-menLallLy lL becomes all abouL a seL of rules and personal
[udgmenL on yourself for how you ablde or do noL ablde ln Lhose rules. 1hls lsn'L sLrengLhenlng
your values and prlnclples as you go along, ls lL? Moreover, you've losL your self-accepLance and
self-compasslon fllLers Lo your dleL-menLallLy. So yes, more ls losL Lhan ls galned once you seL all
Lhls ln moLlon. And lf Lhls wasn'L Lrue, Lhen you wouldn'L need Lo be readlng Lhls because all
your prevlous dleLs and dleL-rules would have led you Lo Lhe promlsed land where you losL Lhe
welghL, kepL lL off, and dldn'L have Lo be hyper-focused on dolng so.
LeL's be clear here Lhen. Long-Lerm susLalnable welghL-conLrol, lf you've never had lL - ls abouL
personal developmenL. lL's noL abouL whaL you welgh! And personal developmenL ls a llfe-long
commlLmenL - Lo ?Cu8SLLl. lL lsn'L suddenly acqulred by achlevlng some shorL-Lerm goal llke
loslng so many pounds. no. 1he mlsslng llnk ln all of Lhls ls Lhls: -> you musL become a person
based ln prlnclples, noL rules and resLrlcLlons. 1hese prlnclples need Lo have more Lo do wlLh
personal characLer and lnLegrlLy, and less Lo do wlLh commlLmenL Lo rlgld dleL precepLs. ln
oLher words, you musL hone your personal prlnclples Lo become 'Lhe Lype of person' who wlll

www.scoLLabel.com
104

noL cheaL on commlLmenLs you make Lo yourself. And how you eaL wlll [usL be an exLenslon and
lllusLraLlon of LhaL commlLmenL. WelghL-loss and welghL-conLrol follow from Lhls - Lhey don'L
produce lL. Pow you eaL wlll Lhen reflecL LhaL commlLmenL Lo yourself - or lack of one. lL wlll
reflecL a declslon you make abouL Lhe klnd of person you choose Lo be. A Lrue worklng dleL-
sLraLegy ls abouL who ?Cu are and noL abouL WPA1 you eaL - and especlally noL abouL
emoLlonally lnvesLlng yourself ln such low-level conslderaLlons.
8esearch on performance and achlevemenL ls qulLe clear: LhaL people who acL on behalf of
Lhelr prlnclples are much more llkely Lo geL done whaL Lhey say Lhey wlll do or whaL Lhey lnLend
Lo do, more-so Lhan people who are Lrylng Lo do such Lhlngs solely ln pursulL of some fuLure
reward. We need Lo apply Lhls Lype of prlnclpled-based LhoughL and acLlon Lo a dleL-sLraLegy Lo
make lL work. 1herefore Lhe dleL-sLraLegy cannoL be abouL 'dleLs and dleLlng and welghL-loss.'
1he dleL-sLraLegy has Lo be more broad-based and more self-connecLed. And connecLlng Lo Lhe
level of prlnclple ls self-connecLlon Lo be sure. 1he dleL-sLraLegy should be abouL embraclng
prlnclples of wellness and well-belng. lL needs Lo be abouL a long-Lerm susLalnable process LhaL
ls founded ln personal prlnclple. lf Lhe goal ls shorL-Lerm reward of welghL-loss wlLhouL a
prlnclpled-foundaLlon - noL only ls LhaL goal less llkely Lo be achleved - buL lL ls unllkely Lo be
malnLalned. And hasn'L Lhls been your own ongolng repeaLed dleL-experlence fallure up Lo
now? ln shorL, people who are dolng Lhlngs prlmarlly for rewards or pay-offs do Lhem less well
Lhan people who are moLlvaLed by Lhe meanlng, purpose, fulflllmenL and en[oymenL Lhey geL
back from Lhe energy Lhey lnvesL ln a glven underLaklng. uo you geL any fulflllmenL and
en[oymenL back from Lhe 'eaL Lhls noL LhaL' mandaLe of your dleL-menLallLy? Cnce agaln, a
sLraLegy based ln prlnclple ls sLronger Lhan a sLraLegy focused only Lo achleve some shorL-Lerm
ouLcome llke welghL-loss. And Lhls ls why and how you keep falllng or ?o-?olng. ?our dleL-
menLallLy dlcLaLes Lo you LhaL lf you alLer your behavlor and lose welghL you wlll flnd purpose,
meanlng, and fulflllmenL ln LhaL. 8uL has LhaL bellef ever happened for you ln a susLalnable way
LhaL moLlvaLes you for long-Lerm welghL conLrol? 1he real LruLh ls LhaL purpose, meanlng and
fulflllmenL are whaL lead Lo susLalnable behavloral change and Lhe moLlvaLlon for long-Lerm
welghL conLrol. And noLhlng esLabllshes Lhe menLal sLrengLh and reslllence of meanlng and
purpose and fulflllmenL Lhan exalLlng any underLaklng up Lo Lhe level of prlnclple. And Lhls ls
Lhe mlsLake you keep maklng by llsLenlng Lo Lhe lle of Lhe dleL-menLallLy lnsLead.
And aL Lhe hlghesL end of acLlng on prlnclple dleL-sLraLegy can Lake on Lhe forceful energy of a
moral prlnclple as well. And when a dleL-sLraLegy achleves Lhls level of moral prlnclple - Lhe
odds lncrease slgnlflcanLly LhaL successful lmplemenLaLlon wlll be achleved wlLhouL warrlng
beLween Lhe mlnd and Lhe body and Lhe emoLlonal realm. ?ou wlll flnd harmony of purpose
when dleL-sLraLegy and lLs process reach a level of moral prlnclple - lnsLead of low-level
shenanlgans abouL welghL-scales and dress slzes. lor example, Lrue vegeLarlans who are

www.scoLLabel.com
10S

vegeLarlans on Lhe level of moral prlnclple are never resenLful over Lhelr food cholces. 1here ls
Lhe elemenL of moral cholce and convlcLlon guldlng Lhem, and noL Lhe emoLlonal noLlon of
'have-Lo' when lL comes Lo how and whaL Lhey eaL. 1herefore Lhey are never sub-consclously
resenLful abouL Lhelr food cholces so Lhey never have Lo Lry Lo" sLlck Lo Lhem elLher. 1here are
no 'LempLaLlons' or urges Lo eaL meaL because Lhe commlLmenL Lo vegeLarlanlsm ls elevaLed Lo
Lhe level of moral prlnclple. 1hls ls whaL a funcLlonal dleL-sLraLegy feels llke aL Lhe hlghesL end -
no pressure, no LempLaLlons, no emoLlonal angsL. And all of Lhls reflecLs Lhe opposlLe of Lhe
low-level lle of Lhe dleL-menLallLy - whlch ls noL a Lrue dleL-sLraLegy when Lhe ouLcome ls
arLlflclally lnflaLed and Lhe process ls down-played buL pressure-fllled and emoLlonally
ampllfled. Cnce agaln, lL's lmporLanL Lo remlnd you LhaL menLal/emoLlonal mlndseLs deLermlne
Lhe quallLy and level of Lhe menLal/emoLlonal experlence. A Lrue and workable and susLalnable
dleL-sLraLegy ls one LhaL ls founded ln personal prlnclple, noL ln rlgld dleL and food rules.
8uL when your dleL-menLallLy ls your maln level of lnfluence you lack Lhls prlnclpled-foundaLlon
because you are seeklng Lhe lmmedlaLe pay-off of 'welghL-loss.' Moreover, you are endlessly
mlsled LhaL adapLlng Lhe process of some 'dleL' and lLs rules wlll lead you Lo Lhe compllance,
commlLmenL, and conslsLency requlred for long-Lerm welghL-conLrol achlevemenL. 8uL you
know Lhls ls a lle. lsn'L lL Lhe LruLh LhaL Lhese quallLles of characLer (conslsLency and compllance)
are preclsely Lhe Lhlngs LhaL are mlsslng over Lhe long-Lerm from all your prevlous dleL-
aLLempLs aL welghL-conLrol? 1he LruLh ls LhaL adherlng Lo values and prlnclples are whaL lnduce
Lhe hablLs of conslsLency and compllance. AnoLher new dleL prescrlpLlon reclpe - uCLS nC1.
Pow many Llmes do you need Lo keep golng down LhaL road before you reallze LhaL lL ls a road
Lo nowhere - an oval paLh where you [usL keep dolng laps preLendlng you are golng
somewhere? no. WhaL ls requlred ls a workable dleL-sLraLegy beyond Lhe nonsense of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy.
...
D|et-Strategy - M|ndset - And the 8ehav|ora| Connect|on
?ou need Lo Lake however much Llme you need Lo and geL away from Lhe 'eaL Lhls noL LhaL'
mlndseL of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. ?ou need Lo creaLe rules around prlnclples and noL Lry Lo bulld
prlnclples around rules. And Lhls wlll Lake some Llme afLer years of lnLernallzlng Lhe dleL-
menLallLy and how lL has warped how you Lhlnk and feel abouL whaL 'dleLlng' even means. llrsL
of all, lL sLarLs wlLh a manLra LhaL Lhere are nC foods on Lhe planeL LhaL you are noL 'allowed' Lo
have. ?ou have Lo Lhlnk ln Lerms of cholce noL resLrlcLlon. 8esLrlcLlon produces a mlndseL of
reslsLance - cholce produces a mlndseL of empowermenL. So sLarL wlLh Lhe manLra l coo eot
wbotevet l woot ooJ os mocb os l woot" -l qet to cboose to eot lo o woy tbot coooects me best

www.scoLLabel.com
106

to my owo cooteotmeot." And Lhen [usL sLop lylng Lo yourself abouL Lhls senLlmenL and whaL lL
means. lL doesn'L mean you are leLLlng your dleL-menLallLy guard down - lL means you are
glvlng lL up for Lhe false mlndseL LhaL lL ls. 8emember aL Lhls polnL ln your [ourney 'how' and
'why' you eaL are more lmporLanL Lo your behavloral connecLlon Lhan ls 'whaL' you eaL.
1herefore Lhe phrase, LhaL ls noL on my dleL" - makes no sense aL all and does noL serve Lhe
mandaLe of Lhe self-connecLed, self-compasslonaLe feedlng of your body and soul. LvenLually
you geL Lo a place where you freely choose and fully embrace whaL you eaL - so you wlll lndeed
choose Lo 'eot tbls bot oot tbot buL lL won'L be wlLhln Lhe conflnes of rlgld rules and resLrlcLlons
of Lhe dleL-menLallLy.
1he only Lruly successful dleL-equaLlon ls Lhls formula LhaL follows Lhe lessons of 1he lrench
aradox -> eot oll yoo woot, jost leoto ooJ ttolo yootself to woot to eot less" and en[oy Lhe
behavlor of eaLlng and feedlng yourself, as you were meanL Lo. 8emember, mlndseL deLermlnes
behavlor, and Lhe quallLy of Lhe mlndseL deLermlnes Lhe quallLy of Lhe behavlor as well. And lL
Lakes a self-compasslonaLe mlnd Lo wanL Lo eaL less and Lo en[oy Lhe behavlor of feedlng
yourself. And noL one slngle loLa of Lhls has anyLhlng Lo do wlLh a knowledge of nuLrlLlon or Lhe
nuLrlenL composlLlon of speclflc foods. Move yourself away from LhaL level of mlcro-focus. lL
has never helped you before and lL ls [usL anoLher componenL parL of Lhe dleL-menLallLy you are
beLLer off Lo leL go. (more on LhaL furLher below)
8ehavlorally-speaklng, Lhls means spend more Llme wlLh less food lnsLead of spendlng less Llme
wlLh more food. And eaL as much for pleasure as for purpose - keeplng ln mlnd always LhaL you
are emoLlonally-Lled Lo Lhe feedlng experlence slnce blrLh. And Lhls emoLlonal connecLlon ls
meanL Lo be calmlng and sooLhlng - noL anxlous and sLressful. lor lnsLance, all Lhrough Lurope
people spend hours aL cafes Laklng Lhelr Llme Lo savor and en[oy small porLlon-slzed
lndulgences whlle en[oylng good company and Lhe day as well. 1hese are all 'connecLed' levels
of experlence. lL ls why Lhere are so many cafes all Lhrough Lurope. 1he people spend more
Llme wlLh less food buL Lhey en[oy Lhe whole experlence of dolng so.
lL wlll also help lf you Lhlnk of food as a sorL of prescrlpLlon medlclne lf you wlll. As PlppocraLes
sald, leL food be Lhy medlclne and leL Lhy medlclne be your food." And Lhls phrase ls more
approprlaLe now Lhan ever. So as a prescrlpLlon medlclne, Lhen llke oLher prescrlpLlon
medlclnes - of course you can overdose on food or become dependenL on lL as well. (And lf
elLher of Lhose apply Lo you Lhen you need Lo read my book Iood Issues and ou: I|na||y
Iac|ng our hantom Menace" hLLp://blL.ly/uLavWu) lurLhermore, Lhe whole Superslze"
menLallLy of percelvlng value ln overdoslng on food, leaves you noL [usL overdoslng on food -
buL 'wanLlng Lo' overdose on food. 1hls leads you Lo assoclaLlng value" wlLh gluLLonous
behavlor. 1he creaLlon of Lhls klnd of 'woot ooJ Jeslte dlrecLly affecLs Lhe addlcLlon-Lype wlrlng

www.scoLLabel.com
107

of Lhe braln. So agaln, how you eaL - and how you Lhlnk abouL how you eaL creaLes a blgger
problem Lhan any nuLrlLlonal sub-componenL of any speclflc food, ever could. And how you eaL
and how you Lhlnk abouL how you eaL also happens Lo be where Lhe soluLlon Lo your welghL-
conLrol lssues acLually resldes - noL ln Lhe nexL dleL and lLs 'eot tbls oot tbot rules and
regulaLlons. none of LhaL changes 'how you Lhlnk' abouL how you eaL.
Agaln, l refer back Lo Lhe lrench aradox here. Cne of Lhe besL researcher remarks l have ever
read regardlng 1he lrench aradox hlLs rlghL aL Lhe hearL of Lhe maLLer of how you Lhlnk abouL
how you eaL - and whaL needs Lo change wlLhln LhaL menLal and emoLlonal framework. 1he
lrench are Lhln because Lhey really love Lhelr food and by conLrasL norLh Amerlcans are
overwelghL because Lhey really love eaLlng." 1here ls a sLark dlfference beLween a love and
appreclaLlon of food and Lhe sub-consclous behavlor of gluLLony. Love ls noL consumpLlon-
based" - lL ls appreclaLlon-based." And Lhls speaks dlrecLly Lo Lhe mlndseL of self-compasslon
ln regards Lo eaLlng behavlor - how you eaL - and how you Lhlnk abouL how you eaL - and how
you Lhlnk abouL whaL you eaL. lL ls a unlquely norLh Amerlcan faulLy equaLlon LhaL excess =
love." lL's llke eaLlng an lnsane amounL of food as lf Lo prove how much you love your food. lL's
llke seeklng sex ouLslde a marrlage over and over agaln Lo prove how much you love lnLlmacy.
And of course Lhese Lhlngs [usL do noL equaLe." As Lhe lrench aradox polnLs ouL - lovlng your
food has absoluLely noLhlng Lo do wlLh gluLLony. And lovlng yourself, even less so. 8uL Lhls
whole superslze = value" mlndseL leaves you Lo Lhlnklng and feellng LhaL you whaL 'wanL' and
'deserve' more food Lhan you need. And wlLhln Lhls equaLlon your acLual appreclaLlon of food
and lovlng food geLs squeezed ouL of Lhe noLlon of 'how you Lhlnk abouL how you eaL.'
Whereas for Lhe lrench, Lhe appreclaLlon and love of food ls fronL and cenLer, even lf sLlll as
subconsclous as your Superslze = value" mlndseL ls.
And Lhls leads Lo a furLher polnL as well. lL has been proven Llme and Llme agaln ln research LhaL
we suffer ln norLh Amerlca as well from a severe case of porLlon dlsLorLlon." And Lhls means
you wlll Lend Lo auLomaLlcally equaLe fewer calorles wlLh hunger before you even experlence
LhaL percelved hunger. Cnce agaln, Lhls comes from Lhls dlsLorLed WesLern noLlon LhaL more ls
beLLer" and LhaL moderaLlon = llmlLaLlon." So when lL comes Lo eaLlng behavlor and dleLs, all
of Lhls Lends Lo puL your mlnd aL odds wlLh lLself. And Lhls ldea Lhen - LhaL less food creaLes
greaLer hunger becomes a self-fulfllllng reallLy of percepLlon, well before lL happens. ?ou slmply
see smaller porLlons and equaLe Lhem wlLh leavlng you hungrler. And whlle lL ls Lrue of course
LhaL loslng welghL does lncrease hunger - Lhls porLlon-dlsLorLlon menLallLy of mosL norLh
Amerlcans only lnLenslfles Lhe sensaLlon - lo tbe mloJ - noL ln Lhe guL. And agaln Lhls wlll make
sLlcklng Lo a dleL even more dlfflculL, because you wlll percelve resLrlcLlon" flrsL and foremosL.
Cnce agaln, how you Lhlnk abouL how you eaL, becomes more lmporLanL Lhan 'whaL' you
acLually eaL - Lhe opposlLe of Lhe message of Lhe dleL-menLallLy.

www.scoLLabel.com
108

1hls ls also why l seldom use calorles-calculaLlons" ln my dleL-sLraLegy appllcaLlons for cllenLs.
1o do so auLomaLlcally leaves Lhem equaLlng a cerLaln calorles level wlLh a percepLlon of a lack
of susLenance or saLlaLlon regardless of Lrue and real blofeedback. And lL's lmporLanL noL Lo
underesLlmaLe [usL how deep and pervaslve Lhls norLh Amerlcan 'porLlon dlsLorLlon' goes. As a
slmple example, l'm a fan of Lhe Lelevlslon show Selnfeld." l fall asleep Lo lL every nlghL. A loL
of Lhe show's scenarlos Lake place aL Lhe coffee shop." And Lhe show Selnfeld Look place from
Lhe early 90's Lo laLe 90's. l look aL Lhe slze of Lhe coffee cups aL Lhe dlner. 1hey are Lhe former
sLandard of 4-6 oz. 1hen l Lhlnk of Lhe cup slzes aL SLarbucks. A venLl ls 20 ounces. 1haL ls 4-3
cups of whaL was sLandard [usL 20 years ago. Myself as l wrlLe Lhls l am en[oylng my coffee ln a
venLl-slze cup l boughL from SLarbucks. l have Lwo of Lhese every mornlng as l work. 1haL's 40
ounces of coffee. lL shows as 8.3 cups on my coffee carafe. lf l was slLLlng ln LhaL dlner ln Lhe
early 90's wlLh Lhe Selnfeld casL, l would be drlnklng 10 cups of LhaL 4-6 oz slze coffee durlng
LhaL vlslL. ln LhaL scenarlo, everyone presenL would Lhlnk Lhere ls someLhlng wrong wlLh me.
8uL Lwo decades laLer, drlnklng Lwo venLl-slzed cups of coffee ls noL all LhaL uncommon. lL ls
offered as a more ls beLLer" value. And our mlnds llnk Lo LhaL. 1hls ls Lhe classlc porLlon-
dlsLorLlon ln Lhe modern norLh Amerlcan dleL. no one ls lmmune of lLs lmpacL. noL even myself.
8uL belng aware of Lhls means belng able Lo manage lL ln oLher areas where lL may lmpacL your
efforLs aL welghL-conLrol.
So when lL comes Lo all of Lhls modern mlndseL of porLlon dlsLorLlon and lovlng and
appreclaLlng your food vs. [usL lovlng Lo eaL -> here ls Lhe perLlnenL quesLlon you need Lo ask
yourself Lo creaLe cognlLlve dlssonance wlLh any lmpulslve eaLlng or overeaLlng you are dolng.
Ask yourself - ls whaL l am eaLlng so awesome LhaL l need and wanL Lo eaL more and more of lL
- or am l eaLlng more and more of lL as a coplng mechanlsm for someLhlng else or as a way Lo
punlsh myself or lndulge myself beyond Lhe level of en[oymenL and on Lo Lhe level of gluLLony?"
?ou need Lo creaLe a consLanL remlnder ln your mlnd Lo slow down and appreclaLe your food
and eaL wlLh calm energy. ?ou need Lo relnforce 'how you Lhlnk abouL how you eaL' - and you
need Lo downplay Lhe mlsleadlng noLlon LhaL 'whaL you eaL' ls more lmporLanL.
And Lhls ldea Lo slow down ls also meanL llLerally ln Lerms of your eaLlng behavlor and noL [usL
menLally ln Lerms of how you Lhlnk abouL your eaLlng behavlor. LeL me explaln. 1hls behavloral
connecLlon ls lmporLanL. lL's whaL ls mlsslng from your dleL-menLallLy mandaLe. 8emember
your mlnd/body connecLlon ls affecLed by how" you eaL and noL [usL whaL you eaL. SLudles of
overwelghL adulLs and overwelghL chlldren vs. conLrol groups of normal welghL people - clearly
show LhaL people who eaL fasLer" Lend Lo be Lhe mosL overwelghL. Some of Lhe suggesLlons"
ln Lhe nexL chapLer - ln Lerms of relevanL behavlor modlflcaLlon - are golng Lo go furLher Lhan
any dleL can ln Lerms of helplng you galn back a naLural and self-connecLed form of 'feedlng'
behavlor. 8uL meanLlme here ls Lhe polnL Lo ponder. Many people develop a hablL Lo eaL fasLer

www.scoLLabel.com
109

so you can eaL more. ?ou know from blofeedback LhaL Lhe saLleLy message Lakes abouL 20
mlnuLes. So you develop Lhls norLh Amerlcan hablL Lo eaL more wlLhln LhaL Llme frame because
you also develop Lhe norLh Amerlcan hablL LhaL lovlng eaLlng ls Lhe same as lovlng your food.
8uL Lhere ls Lhe oLher slde of Lhls equaLlon as well, whlch also leads Lo welghL-conLrol saboLage.
eople who dleL are so hyper-senslLlve Lo Lhelr hunger cues LhaL when meal Llmes come around
you Lend Lo devour your food qulckly lnsLead of savorlng lL. So Lhe saLleLy slgnal never comes
around LhaL same Llme you flnlsh eaLlng, so you always feel" a false sense of more lnLense
Lhan normal, hunger. And you eaL fasLer aL meal Llmes because of Lhls. And Lhen, round and
round you go.
1he research ls also qulLe clear LhaL people who ravage Lhelr food ln Lerms of how Lhey eaL -
are Lhe same people who Lend Lo be emoLlonally ravaged by food as well. So Lhls lllusLraLes Lhe
lmporLance of Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd and a calm and relaxed sLaLe ln Lerms of how you
eaL: 8ecause lf you llve aL a pace of 100 mlles per hour - you are llkely Lo Lhlnk aL LhaL pace as
well. And Lhen you are llkely Lo eaL aL LhaL pace as well - mlndless buL fasL and furlous. lf your
llfe ls frenzled you are llkely Lo eaL wlLh frenzled energy. ln research, all Lhese Lhlngs are more
clearly connecLed Lo welghL and eaLlng lssues more so Lhan whaL" you eaL. Accordlng Lo
welghL-conLrol research experL ur. 8arkellng: A hlgher lnlLlal eaLlng raLe reflecLlng eaLlng drlve
was assoclaLed wlLh slgns of sLress overload. 1he sLress overload may lLself prompL eaLlng, and
affecLlve responses may be llnked Lo appeLlLe and Lo a hlgher senslLlvlLy Lo food sLlmull, Lhus
lncreaslng Lhe drlve Lo eaL. An acceleraLlng raLe of food consumpLlon durlng Lhe meal (l.e. fasL
eaLlng) ls assoclaLed wlLh lnLense emoLlonallLy and oral dependency." (1992, 1993) 1hls reflecLs
Lhe many underlylng reasons why norLh Amerlcans, who sLress more, also eaL fasLer, and love
eaLlng - vs. 1he lrench who are less sLressed, eaL less, aL a slower pace, and love food! 1he
message here ls obvlous. ?ou need Lo relax menLally, emoLlonally, and physlcally before you
sLarL eaLlng so you do noL eaL Loo fasL - because dolng so creaLes a maladapLlve hablL for
aLLempLed welghL-conLrol. Pow you Lhlnk abouL how you eaL needs Lo LranslaLe lnLo calm and
relaxed behavlor of feedlng yourself aL meal Llme. 1he lrench geL Lhls. 1hey don'L have Lo
work on lL." ?ou may have Lo.
...
As you are probably beglnnlng Lo undersLand now, Lhls also speaks Lo how you Lhlnk abouL your
food urges and cravlngs as well. 8uL food urges and cravlngs are a loL llke a volume dlal. 1he
way you Lhlnk and whaL you focus on can Lurn LhaL volume way up, or Lurn LhaL volume way
down, almosL Lo muLe, lf you llke. And you do noL Lurn down Lhe volume of your food lssues
and cravlngs by Lrylng Lo reslsL Lhem, do you? 1hls only Lurns up Lhe volume of Lhem doesn'L lL?
And hasn'L your dleL-menLallLy message all along been LhaL you need Lo reslsL cravlngs and

www.scoLLabel.com
110

urges whlle you focus on eaL Lhls noL LhaL" whlch Lends Lo lncrease cravlngs and urges
anyway? Agaln, how you Lhlnk abouL how you eaL ls whaL maLLers. ?ou need Lo slmply
acknowledge and accepL food cravlngs and urges as Lhey come along. All Lhey seek ls your
menLal aLLenLlon anyway. ?ou creaLe conLrol over Lhem by acknowledglng Lhem flrsL - Lhen you
learn Lo acknowledge Lhem wlLhouL any emoLlonal aLLachmenLs Lo Lhem. And Lhls ls how you
conLrol urges and cravlngs. 1rylng Lo reslsL Lhem lnLenslfles Lhem as Lhey emoLlonally compeLe
for your aLLenLlon. So glve Lhem your aLLenLlon by acknowledglng Lhem. 1hen Lhey are far
easler Lo leL go.
eople ask me all Lhe Llme abouL my dleL and whaL" l eaL. 8uL lL's Lhe wrong quesLlon and lL
reflecLs Lhe dleL-menLallLy as Lhey look for secreLs of Lhe eot tbls oot tbot" clues wlLhln my
own dleL. 8uL Lhey don'L ask me how l eaL or how l Lhlnk abouL how l eaL. l've eaLen Lhe same
dleL for almosL a decade now. 1here are a few foods LhaL l roLaLe Lhrough Lhe week and l have
one day a week off from LhaL reglmen. And lL ls a very seL and sLrucLured reglmen. 8uL lL's how l
Lhlnk abouL lL LhaL shows how and why lL ls successful. AcLually, lL would be more preclse Lo say
lL's how l don'L Lhlnk abouL lL LhaL lllusLraLes lLs success. 8ecause my dleL ls seL Lhrough Lhe
week l don'L Lhlnk abouL lL - aL all. knowlng whaL l am golng Lo eaL removes cholces and wanL
and dllemmas from Lhe equaLlon. l [usL refuse Lo vaulL food Lo LhaL klnd of level of emoLlonal
lmporLance. l have more lmporLanL Lhlngs l wanL Lo Lhlnk abouL and research and wrlLe abouL
and help wlLh. So reglmenLaLlon of dleL removes one more dlsLracLlon from my mlnd.
lurLhermore Lhe day off Lhe dleL glves me a reason Lo look forward Lo lndulglng once per week.
1here ls no gullL or remorse or anxleLy or any negaLlve emoLlonal aLLachmenLs Lo my lndulgence
day. Llke 1he lrench - l look forward Lo Lhls day and shop for lL and en[oy lL. Also lf l am
Lravelllng for buslness Lhen l alm Lo eaL as per my dleL reglmen buL l puL no pressure on myself
Lo do so. 8uL when l Lravel for vacaLlon or a hollday l go off my reglmen compleLely and make
eaLlng freely and lndulglng anyLhlng l wanL parL of my hollday or vacaLlon experlence. Pow l
Lhlnk abouL whaL l eaL" ls LhaL l don'L Lhlnk abouL lL aL all durlng Lhe reglmenLed days. WhaL's
more lmporLanL ls l don'L allow feellngs" abouL lL elLher. l have no emoLlonal aLLachmenLs Lo
food - excepL en[oymenL. Powever, l always eaL my meals ln a calm and relaxed sLaLe. l waLch
news ln Lhe mornlng wlLh breakfasL afLer answerlng emalls and l eaL dlnner waLchlng Lelevlslon
- because waLchlng Lelevlslon ls en[oylng and relaxlng for me. So l relaLe Lo Lhe emoLlonal
connecLlon we are meanL Lo have wlLh our feedlng experlence. And l en[oy a day of lndulgence.
1here ls no eot tbls oot tbot" mandaLe ln my mlnd or how l feel abouL food so Lhere are no
cravlngs or urges l need Lo reslsL. l don'L even have Lo Lry" Lo sLay on my dleL. l [usL don'L look
aL lL as requlrlng efforL or emoLlonal reslsLance. So agaln, how l Lhlnk abouL how and whaL l eaL,
explalns Lhe success of my ablllLy for welghL-conLrol. lL llLerally ls a no-bralner." l couldn'L
lmaglne belng under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe dleL-menLallLy where LhoughLs and feellngs over

www.scoLLabel.com
111

someLhlng so slmple are ampllfled beyond a level of raLlonallLy. l wouldn'L allow myself Lo llve
llke LhaL. 1he lronlc Lhlng ls how many people say Lhey couldn'L llve and eaL Lhe way l eaL - and
yeL Lhese are Lhe same people who sLruggle wlLh welghL and ask me whaL" my dleL looks llke.
...
l Lake no supplemenLs and don'L belleve ln Lhem - any of Lhem. 1he focus ls Lo be menLally
aware of opLlmum food cholces LhaL flL your llfe and llfesLyle, whlle never belng emoLlonally
aLLached Lo food cholces elLher - especlally noL ln Lhe negaLlve sense of gullL, anxleLy eLc. And
Lhls brlngs up anoLher paradox of all Lhls nuLrlLlonal sclence" LhaL dlcLaLes Lo you a mlsgulded
noLlon LhaL you need Lo focus on mlcro nuLrlenL conLenL of your dleL - and even of speclflc
foods wlLhln your dleL. All of Lhls ls compleLely unnecessary and lL feeds Lhe monsLer of your
dleL-menLallLy. Cnce agaln, 1he lrench aradox can be educaLlonal ln Lhls regard. 1he lrench
do noL mandaLe nuLrlLlonal labels" ln foods. 1he whole ldea of LhaL ls forelgn Lo Lhem. 1he
lesson here ls LhaL by focuslng less and less on componenL parLs of food - Lhe lrench malnLaln
Lhe 'hollsLlc' self-connecLlng elemenLs of Lhe eaLlng experlence, as lL was meanL Lo be. And Lhe
eaLlng experlence ls calm, sooLhlng, and [oyful. lL ls noL coldly sclenLlflc and cerLalnly noL
emoLlonally ampllfled wlLh anxleLy or pressure. Cnce agaln, Lhe message ls loud and clear. Pow
you Lhlnk abouL how you eaL - how you Lhlnk abouL whaL you eaL - Lhese are Lhe Lrue
prevalllng facLors Lo long-Lerm welghL-conLrol.
8uL Lhls radlcal ldea of 'how' you eaL ls becomlng less radlcal by Lhe day and more and more
people are flnally geLLlng lL. - Work wlLh naLure as your body was lnLended Lo do - Lo acqulre
beLLer healLh - lnsLead of worklng wlLh Lechnology. ?ou don'L need supplemenLs and you don'L
need cleanses and you don'L need maglc foods llke acal berry, mangosLeen, lsogenlcs and Lhe
resL of lL. And whaL ls even less radlcal when you Lhlnk abouL lL, ls Lhe common sense behlnd lL
all. lL ls clear from Lhe research LhaL Lhere are dangers Lo Laklng supplemenLs and Lo Laklng
drugs. ?eL, Lhere are absoluLely no dangers Lo eaLlng healLhy whole foods. So why noL [usL puL
100 aLLenLlon Loward Lhls level of common sense accepLance and sLop worrylng abouL Lhe
macro-proporLlons of Lhls or LhaL dleL and forgeL abouL dleLs wlLh speclflc LlLles llke ALklns,
SouLh 8each, aleo and Lhe resL of lL. 8uL lL seems common sense ls noL so common - especlally
when lL comes Lo Lhe dleL-menLallLy and Lhe lrraLlonal madness lL lnduces ln Lhose who fall
under lLs spell.
eople remaln convlnced by nuLrlLlonal [unk sclence. 8uL how can someLhlng be sclence" ln
one counLry llke Lhe u.S. buL noL be relevanL sclence ln anoLher counLry llke lrance? ?ou remaln
suscepLlble Lo markeLlng hogwash and cllnlcally-proven" Lhls and LhaL - because you wanL Lo
belleve ln Lhese Lhlngs markeLed Lo you. lL's your own wlsh-blas ln acLlon under Lhe lnfluence of

www.scoLLabel.com
112

your dleL-menLallLy. 1he LruLh ls people love Lo hear good Lhlngs abouL Lhelr bad hablLs. 8uL Lhe
LruLh ls - lsolaLlng slngle componenLs of foods and Lhen exponenLlally mulLlplylng Lhem ln
supplemenL form ls quesLlonable loglc aL besL - dangerous aL worse. eople Lend Lo avold 'real
and Lrue' knowledge of nuLrlLlon by over-shadowlng lL wlLh dleL and supplemenL shopplng.
8elevanL and Lrue nuLrlLlonal sclence always conslders Lhe whole Lo be greaLer Lhan Lhe sum of
any of lLs parLs. And real nuLrlLlonal knowledge 'accepLs' Lhe CCM8lnLu acLlvlLles of counLless
numbers and componenLs of food subsLances lnLeracLlng - before and afLer Lhey enLer Lhe
body.
And sLlll - characLerlzlng whole foods or hollsLlc healLh ln general by separaLlng and lsolaLlng
speclflc nuLrlenLs ln healLh pracLlces - Lhls ls Lhe common pracLlce - especlally ln norLh
Amerlcan research. ln sclence Lhls ls called reducLlonlsm" - And lL ls 1PL fundamenLal research
mlsLake of our Llme. lurLhermore - modlfylng Lhe lnLake of one nuLrlenL aL a Llme (faLs, carbs,
vlLamlns, eLc.) wlLhouL quesLlonlng Lhe whole of Lhe person's dleLary meal and Lhe person's
overall dleLary paLLern does noL confer demonsLrable healLh effecLs - nor does lL confer
poslLlve meLabollc lnfluences. And all of Lhe above - whlch falls under Lhe caLegory of nuLrlLlon
sclence" and nuLrlLlon research" - also reflecL one of Lhe fundamenLal problems of adapLlng
Lhe modern dleL-menLallLy - and all Lhe confuslng mlcro-analysls LhaL goes wlLh lL. And whlle
you may Lhlnk such knowledge leads Lo 'safe eaLlng' - lL doesn'L relaLe Lo '[oyful eaLlng' - does
lL? l am a falrly smarL man - 8uL l would be menLally and emoLlonally exhausLed lf how l
LhoughL abouL whaL l eaL - became reduced Lo all Lhese rules and prescrlpLlons for so-called -
good healLh."
And as far as rules and prescrlpLlons go regardlng 'sound dleLlng' Lhese are noL ob[ecLlve non-
llvlng parLs of your llfe, are Lhey? 1hlnk abouL lL for a mlnuLe and relaLe lL Lo your dleL-menLallLy
- Anyone who has ever ralsed a chlld, been ln a relaLlonshlp, had a boss, been marrled - all of
Lhese slLuaLlons have shown you Lhere are noL [usL a few, buL many llmlLs Lo Lhlnklng only ln
Lerms of rules and prescrlpLlons ln regards Lo Lhese relaLlonshlps. All Lhese relaLlonshlps Lake on
a llfe and energy of Lhelr own, don'L Lhey? Well, dleL-sLraLegy as llfesLyle musL do Lhe same.
1hese cannoL be reduced Lo slmple rules and regulaLlons of funcLlonallLy.
ln Lhe end - ln Lerms of Lhe behavloral realm and connecLlon Lo your menLal realm Lhe LruLh ls
Lhls: When you change or alLer whaL you ask of your body - your body wlll change and alLer
whaL lL asks of you as well. 1hls ls Lrue for boLh good and bad -> Lhe dleL-menLallLy of self-
deprlvaLlon, self-re[ecLlon, sLress and anxlousness represenLlng Lhe bad: -> and Lhe self-
accepLlng, self-compasslonaLe mlndseL of calm and sooLhlng energy, represenLlng Lhe good.

www.scoLLabel.com
113

1he quesLlon ls whlch dleL-sLraLegy makes sense Lo you for llvlng a long healLhy and happy llfe -
whlle conLrolllng your welghL?

www.scoLLabel.com
114

Chapter 10
I|na| 1houghts, Suggest|ons and 1|ps

As l began my preparaLlons for Lhls flnal chapLer - Lhe followlng sLudy was also broughL Lo my
aLLenLlon. lnLeresLlng LhaL so much of Lhls book has used 1he lrench aradox as a healLhy
example of how Lo Lhlnk more healLhlly abouL how you Lhlnk abouL how you eaL. And Cuebec
Canada sLlll has deep rooLs Lo lrance obvlously. So, lL ls synchronlclLy LhaL Lhls sLudy comes Lo
my aLLenLlon aL Lhe compleLlon of Lhls pro[ecL. l wanL you Lo noLe ln parLlcular Lhe words and
phrases LhaL l puL ln bold and lLallcs below.
1he obes|ty rate |n uebec |s the LCWLS1 |n Canada, yet uebecers eat dessert 42 more
often than other Canad|ans.
from: hLLp://www.drsharma.ca/canadas-Lhlnn...-desserLs.hLml

Canada's 1h|nnest rov|nce Loves |ts Desserts
Cne of Lhe llLLle appreclaLed facLs, ls LhaL Cuebec happens Lo have Lhe lowesL comblned raLes
of overwelghL and obeslLy (36) of any Canadlan provlnce.

lL now Lurns ouL LhaL (as one may have suspecLed), Cuebec ls also Lhe one provlnce ln Canada
LhaL Lruly malnLalns a Lrue and dlsLlncL eaLlng CulLure (LhaL ls culLure wlLh a caplLal C").

1hus, accordlng Lo Lhe 13Lh edlLlon of LaLlng aLLerns ln Canada (LlC), a recenL survey from
Lhe markeL research group nu, Cuebecers reporL eaLlng desserL wlLh dlnner abouL 112 Llmes a
year compared Lo abouL 89 Llmes ln ALlanLlc Canada, 37 ln CnLarlo and 33 on Lhe wesL coasL.

1hls ls also a provlnce LhaL parLlcularly values home-cooked lunch and dlnners. 1hus, 6 ouL of 10
lunches and 6.3 ouL of 10 dlnners ln Cuebec households are apparenLly made from scraLch.

Accordlng Lo Lhe nu news release,
3"22 4*+&/(" 4&)24(&-2 ',*) '," /"2' &! 5*)*#*, Cuebec households Lake greaL pleasure ln
eaLlng. 1he ma[orlLy (82 per cenL) also feel LhaL lL ls lmporLanL Lo en[oy full and regular meals
each day, whlch compares Lo 60 per cenL of wesLern Canadlans and 63 per cenL of CnLarlans. As
a resu|t, uebec res|dents are a|so the |east ||ke|y of a|| the prov|nces to snack.

www.scoLLabel.com
11S

1wenLy-nlne per cenL Lry Lo avold snacklng enLlrely and, unllke Lhe resL of Lhe counLry, have
fewer snack occaslons annually. Cuebecers are also less llkely Lo sklp LradlLlonal meals
(breakfasL, lunch and dlnner)."
Whlle l am generally cauLlous abouL lnferrlng cause-and-effecL, I am a|so the f|rst to support
any move to |mprov|ng eat|ng cu|ture. As I have often sa|d - fast food |s more of a 'fast'
prob|em than a 'food' prob|em.

lmprovlng eaLlng culLure ln Lhe resL of Canada requlres a dlscusslon of '6*+-"20 - apparenLly,
Cuebecers place a h|gher va|ue on home cooklng, regular "*'().7 *)# !()#(). 8+"*2-/" () !&&#
Lhan Lhe resL of us. ..
1he lasL chapLer dlscussed prlnclples and values LhaL underllne your approach Lo dleL-sLraLegy.
ln Lhls sLudy you see a reflecLlon of Lhe argumenL l've made LhroughouL Lhls whole pro[ecL.
PealLhy Lhlnklng leads Lo healLhy eaLlng. And healLhy Lhlnklng ls always poslLlve and en[oyable
Lhlnklng. ?our dleL-menLallLy wlLh all lLs rules and consLralnLs - only creaLes anxleLy ln Lhe eot
tbls oot tbot" faulLy mandaLe lL Lrles Lo enforce. 8uL as we wlLness ln 1he lrench aradox as
well wlLh lLs Cuebec couslns - acLual and Lrue long Lerm welghL-conLrol ls Lled Lo a healLhy and
en[oyable connecLlon Lo food and Lo eaLlng - and nC1 Lo a fear and sLress componenL over
Lhese Lhlngs.
lf you Lruly seek long-Lerm welghL-conLrol Lhen Lhe equaLlon ls slmple. ?ou slmply musL
surrender your dleL-menLallLy. lL has never worked for you - and lL never wlll work for you. So
why do you conLlnue Lo cllng Lo lL? Agaln, Lhe worse klnd of prlson Lo suffer ln - ls Lhe klnd you
don'L reallze you are ln. And you need Lo embrace all Lhe negaLlve and desLrucLlve Lhlngs your
dleL-menLallLy does 'Lo' you - lncludlng maklng you galn welghL and feel bad for dolng so.
?ou have Lo surrender Lhls noLlon LhaL eaLlng ls Lled Lo a goal" and someLhlng Lo achleve. And
when you make Lhls LransformaLlon Lo no goal" - llfe wlll become abouL ?Cu agaln. When you
flnd you are once agaln exclLed abouL yourself, abouL your llfe, abouL your LhoughLs - and none
of Lhls no longer has anyLhlng Lo do wlLh a dleL or your welghL - LhaL ls when you know you
have Lruly surrendered your dleL-menLallLy and are free of lLs prlson. 8ecause Lhere ls a duallLy
Lo Lhe dleL-menLallLy LhaL always leaves you exhausLed and empLy. Any 'exclLemenL' you feel
abouL a new dleL or some currenL welghL-loss ls always Lempered as well wlLh worry, pressure,
sLress and anxleLy over Lhe new dleL and Lhe welghL-loss, lsn'L lL? 1herefore you are noL Lruly
'exclLed' abouL you and your own llfe beyond Lhese low-level conslderaLlons. lL should be
obvlous LhaL 1he lrench are on Lo someLhlng. 1he lrench are excellenL Leachers. And whaL Lhey
Leach ls whaL freedom looks and feels llke - when Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls noL presenL. And Lhe

www.scoLLabel.com
116

lrony of Lhls ls lower body welghLs, lncreased healLh and vlLallLy and Lhe naLural emoLlonal
connecLlon wlLh eaLlng LhaL you were always meanL Lo have.
8uL even wlLhln Lhe message of Lhls whole pro[ecL, you may sLlll noL Lruly 'geL lL.' ?ou may sLlll
be looklng Lo Lhls flnal secLlon Lo flnd ScoLL Abel" meal plans and a llsL of foods Lo choose or
avold. 1hls ls [usL furLher lllusLraLlon of your own lgnorance of Lhe depLh of lnfluence and effecL
of your dleL-menLallLy - and how lL conLrols and manlpulaLes your Lhlnklng. 8uL l wlll offer no
such Lhlngs here. l wlll noL feed Lhe hunger of your dleL-menLallLy Lo relnforce lLself wlLhln you.
?es, you need Lo have prlnclples ln place regardlng a healLhy dleL-sLraLegy. 8uL Lhese prlnclples
have Lo do wlLh you flrsL and wlLh food second. And Lhen you need Lo adapL 'rules' LhaL flL Lhese
prlnclples - lnsLead of Lhe dleL-menLallLy message LhaL 'rules' A8L Lhe prlnclples. 1hey are noL!
1he rules you choose Lo ablde ln musL be based ln Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd. And a dleL-
sLraLegy formed ln Lhe self-compasslonaLe mlnd ls allowed Lo be a 'challenge' freely chosen - lL
ls a challenglng process Lo seL your llfe sLralghL. 8uL lL musL never be a desLrucLlve process. Self-
connecLlon musL be parL of Lhe healLhy dleL-sLraLegy. And you cannoL be self-connecLed lf you
buy-lnLo varlous lndusLry dleLs or lndusLrles of welghL-loss.
Lvery year l recelve leLLers from people who 'feel' hopeless. Many are members of WelghL
WaLchers and oLher slmllar Lypes of welghL-loss programs." 1hey go Lo Lhe meeLlngs. And
whaL ls Lhe focus aL Lhese meeLlngs? lL's a relnforcemenL of Lhe dleL-menLallLy and an
emoLlonal aLLachmenL Lo all Lhe negaLlve Lrlggers LhaL Lell you who you are ls reflecLed by your
welghL and whaL you eaL - and your self-worLh ls connecLed Lo how LhaL scale moves or doesn'L
move Lhls week. And now, aL Lhese 'meeLlngs' you bulld a whole soclal neLwork around self-
desLrucLlve mlndseLs and you call lL a supporL" group. 8uL lL's noL. lL's a mlsery loves company
group. 8uL you can'L see lL because Lhe dleL-menLallLy has you bellevlng all Lhese unLrue
LhoughLs and feellngs abouL yourself. 1haL ls noL emoLlonal connecLlon" - lL's personal
dlsconnecLlon. lood and Lhe welghL-scale are never golng Lo dellver you Lo where you Lhlnk
Lhey should - and Lo where Lhese lndusLrles Lell you Lhey wlll. And Lhlnk abouL lL - ls Lhls whaL
you wanL? 1o be so focused on your welghL and 'whaL you eaL' LhaL you wanL Lo aLLend
meeLlngs wlLh oLher people who are equally hyper-focused? ln oLher words - do you wanL Lo
be a welqbt wotcbet" Lhe resL of your llfe - or lsn'L Lhe LruLh you wanL Lo be free of everyLhlng
and all of lL LhaL aLLaches you Lo your baLhroom scale and Lhose oh-so unhealLhy feellngs you
have abouL Lhe behavlor of slmple eaLlng?
none of Lhe above represenLs a self-connecLed mlnd. lL represenLs Lhe lle of bellevlng LhaL ls
how you geL one. 8uL lL lsn'L. And agaln l say - lL ls all abouL mlndseL. 1he quallLy of Lhe mlndseL
wlll affecL Lhe quallLy of behavlor. - wbeo yoo cbooqe tbe woy yoo look ot tbloqs - tbe tbloqs
yoo look ot wlll cbooqe.

www.scoLLabel.com
117

...
So l wlll offer you here some very general soqqestloo toles" and some very well-known and
accepLed welqbt-loss" Llps. 8uL none of Lhese rules mean anyLhlng lf you use Lhem as an
exLenslon of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. 1hese rules musL be a reflecLlon of personal prlnclples and
empowerlng cholces you declde Lo make for your own wellness - and nC1 for Lhe reason Lo
lose welghL. Long-Lerm welghL conLrol ls Lhe agenda here. lL ls always an ongolng process. 1ry
Lo caLch yourself lf you Lhlnk or feel any of Lhese suggesLlons wlLh Lhe mlndseL of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy - and resLrlcLlon and self-denlal. 1ell yourself Lo 'Lhlnk and acL' llke 1he lrench. 1e||
yourse|f that you are meant to be emot|ona||y connected to the behav|or of feed|ng yourse|f
- and that connect|on |s meant to a|ways be ca|m|ng and sooth|ng to the sou|. WrlLe LhaL
senLence down somewhere and address your LhoughLs and feellngs abouL lL whenever you
need Lo. And remember Lhls emoLlonal connecLlon ls nC1 Lo food - buL Lo Lhe acL of feedlng
yourself - how you Lhlnk abouL how you eaL!
...
Suggest|on ku|es and We|ght-Loss 1|ps

SuggesLlon 8ule - My colleague Coach Welss always beglns hls cllenLs wlLh a 3 weeks general
'easlng lnLo' eaLlng sLrucLure and a dleL-sLraLegy. Pe lnsLrucLs cllenLs LhaL for 3 weeks Lhey
merely ellmlnaLe flour, sugar, and alcohol from Lhelr feedlng behavlor. 8uL Lhere ls no pressure
behlnd Lhls advlce. 1here ls no welghL-loss goal behlnd Lhls advlce and Lhere ls no 'good
food/bad food' emphasls behlnd lL elLher. lL slmply serves as a sLarLlng polnL Lo healLhler
cholces - no more and no less.
SuggesLlon 8ule - lollow Lhe lessons of Lhe lrench aradox and lncrease Lhe pleasure you geL
from eaLlng and decrease Lhe sLress you lngesL from plannlng a dleL or Lhlnklng abouL one. ?ou
have Lo love your food, as 1he lrench do - noL fear lL. 1hls goes wlLh Lhe above polnL as well -
no emoLlonal aLLachmenLs Lo cholces - [usL cholces.
SuggesLlon 8ule - Look Lo choose Lo eaL whole foods and noL lnvenLed foods. 1hls lncludes
lndusLry creaLlons llke proLeln powders, healLhy bars and Lhe llke. 1hese foods are loaded wlLh
Lhe klnd of modern food chemlsLry LhaL alLers Lhe pleasure cenLers of Lhe braln, whlch lnLenslfy
your deslre for 'more food' or more 'LasLe experlence.' And Lhls can lncrease false sensaLlons of
cravlngs and urges Lo [usL 'have someLhlng.'

www.scoLLabel.com
118

SuggesLlon 8ule - lL ls called tbe tollet flosb effect" of drlnklng. ?ou mlndfully or mlndlessly puL
so much food ln your mouLh aL one Llme LhaL you need more flulds Lo 'wosb lt oll Jowo' - Lhus
flushlng" foods and llqulds lnLo Lhe sLomach. 1hls ls nC1 healLhy, consclous, paLlenL,
conLrolled, calm-energy eaLlng. Cnce agaln, how you eaL ls more lmporLanL Lhan Lhe dleL-
menLallLy of whaL you eaL. 1herefore chew your food and do noL ever use 'drlnk' Lo help you
swallow your food.
WelghL-ConLrol 1lp - PealLhy drlnklng lends lLself Lo welghL-conLrol as well. CompeLlLlve eaLers,
Lhe ones you see on Lelevlslon use waLer-loadlng and waLer-floodlng Lo expand Lhelr sLomachs.
lf you 'over-consume' flulds Lo conLrol your hunger, you can lnadverLenLly lnduce over-eaLlng as
well. lluld lnLake ls nC1 a good way Lo conLrol hunger cravlngs. 1o Lhlnk so ls yeL anoLher
pervaslve myLh and lle of Lhe dleL-menLallLy lnfluence.
WelghL-ConLrol 1lp - uon'L drlnk anyLhlng LhaL comes wlLh a sLraw ln lL, and don'L puL a sLraw ln
anyLhlng you drlnk. Learn Lo slp and savor and noL gulp and swallow. LaL as human blology
lnLended and noL as human Lechnology lnvenLed.
WelghL-ConLrol 1lp - uo noL have food and drlnk ln your mouLh aL Lhe same Llme
WelghL-ConLrol 1lp - lf Lhere ls food ln your mouLh Lhen Lhere should be none ln your hand.
1hls wlll slow Lhe pace of eaLlng, produclng a sense of calmness ln you regardlng your feedlng
experlence. lL makes you more mlndful of Lhe process of Lhe eaLlng experlence. uL your fork,
spoon, or food down whlle - and lf - Lhere ls sLlll food ln your mouLh. Pow dlfflculL can lL be Lo
make yourself consclously aware of Lhls pracLlce?
WelghL-ConLrol 1lp - When ln a conslsLenL calorles-deflclL lL becomes very lmporLanL Lo pay
aLLenLlon Lo meal-Llmlng, oLherwlse regulaLlng sysLems of meLabollsm can be Lhrown ouL of
whack. LsLabllshlng regular meal Llmes ls yeL anoLher reason why how" you eaL ls more
lmporLanL Lhan whaL you eaL. Look aL LhaL Cuebec reference above. Cuebecers prefer" regular
meal Llmes and are Lherefore less llkely Lo snack. 8egular meal Llmes also regulaLe hunger. (See
my book 8eyond Metabo||sm" for more on LhaL hLLp://blL.ly/e9hkq8) LsLabllsh regular and
conslsLenL meal Llmes and eaL only aL Lhese Llmes and sLop or cuL ouL snacklng alLogeLher. A
2004 sLudy clearly revealed LhaL regular meal Llmes dlsrupLs Lhe poLenLlal for dlsordered eaLlng
paLLerns Lo develop. 8uL Lhls means regular meal Llmes wlLh no snacklng - also ln my book
8eyond Metabo||sm - as well as belng menLloned ln Lhe Cuebec sLudy above. 1hls ls a very
lmporLanL rule Lo esLabllsh and sLlck Lo for long-Lerm welghL-conLrol. lor example an arLlcle ln
Lhe perlodlcal CbeslLy 8esearch" revealed - Crazlng - whaL people refer Lo as nlbbllng,
snacklng, or noshlng - ls consldered Lo be a 'blqb-tlsk-bebovlot' for welghL galn. lL ofLen
lndlcaLes a dlsLurbed eaLlng paLLern slmllar Lo blngelng ln paLlenLs who have undergone gasLrlc

www.scoLLabel.com
119

bypass. ln facL Lhese paLlenLs [usL subsLlLuLed Lhelr blngelng wlLh grazlng." (Saunders, 2004) So
Lhe polnL ls ln our modern world of abundance and convenlence - 'snacklng' ouLslde meal
Llmes ls consldered 'blqb-tlsk-bebovlor' for welghL-galn and lnablllLy Lo conLrol welghL over Lhe
long-Lerm.
WelghL-ConLrol 1lp - SLop chewlng gum alLogeLher. Chewlng gum ls a cruel behavlor Lo Lhe parL
of Lhe braln LhaL deals wlLh hunger and saLlaLlon. Chewlng gum cerebrally engages all Lhe
expecLaLlon of food Lo arrlve ln Lhe sLomach as Lhe behavlor of chewlng beglns Lhe dlgesLlve
process - and Lhe braln slgnals Lhe sLomach Lo expecL food. 8ecause of Lhls - chewlng gum can
lnduce boLh hunger and cravlngs and lnLenslfy Lhem as well. And Lhls can be furLher
compounded by sLlmulaLlng Lhe reward cenLers of Lhe braln Lhrough Lhe 'sweeLness
componenL' of Lhe gum. So by chewlng ln Lhls way Lhe sLomach 'expecLs' Lhe arrlval of food,
releaslng gasLrlc enzymes eLc. 1he resulL of Lhls can be sLomach dlsLenslon, cramps, paln, and
oLher dlgesLlve lll-effecLs. ?ou mlsLakenly end up aLLrlbuLlng Lhls Lo some speclflc food or food
allergy no doubL. 8uL lL's Lhe gum chewlng LhaL seLs lL all ln moLlon. And Lhls effecL ls made
worse when comblned wlLh caffelne. Many people chew gum" afLer drlnklng coffee ln order Lo
geL rld of 'coffee-breaLh.' 8uL coffee also can be a dlgesLlve lrrlLanL and Lhen when gum-
chewlng ls added Lo posL-coffee lndulgence - lL can seL off all klnds of dlgesLlve sLress you do
noL aLLrlbuLe Lo Lhls speclflc comblnaLlon. 8oLLom llne -> CeL rld of chewlng gum. lL does noL
'sLave off hunger' - lL makes hunger more lnLense - and brlngs along wlLh lL, many dlgesLlve
dlsrupLlons Lo normal dlgesLlve funcLlon.
WelghL-ConLrol 1lp - ?our sLomach ls noL a gas Lank or aL leasL lL shouldn'L be. never eaL Lo flll
er up" unless you are LargeLlng some klnd of supercompensaLlon effecL. And even Lhen, Lhe
aLLlLude Lo eaL Llll you are full needs Lo be employed lnfrequenLly and maLurely. never eaL so
llLLle LhaL you even wanL Lo eaL Llll you are full. And LhaL may be a sorL of blofeedback you wlll
have Lo learn as you go.
WelghL-ConLrol 1lp - LsLabllsh regular wake and sleep Llmes. Accordlng Lo ur. SLephen
Peymsfleld 1here ls growlng sclenLlflc evldence LhaL Lhere ls a llnk beLween sleep and Lhe
varlous neural paLhways LhaL regulaLe food lnLake. 8elng an exhausLed sleep-deprlved new
moLher for example can lead Lo welghL or food lssues LhaL a slmple 'dleL approach' ls never
golng Lo solve." (Columbla unlverslLy 8esearch CenLer) LsLabllshlng regular sleep and wake
Llmes are one of Lhe core essenLlal besL dlsclpllnes you could ever lnsLlLuLe for yourself for
opLlmum funcLlon and long-Lerm welghL-conLrol. 1hlnk abouL lL: So many people reporL belng
able Lo follow a dleL reglmen [usL flne durlng Lhe week, buL reporL LhaL weekends Lhrow Lhem
off. A loL of Lhls has Lo do wlLh Lhe facL LhaL Lhe work week dlcLaLes regular consecuLlve days of
golng Lo bed and awakenlng aL Lhe same Llme - and Lhe body prefers Lhls klnd of rhyLhm. MosL

www.scoLLabel.com
120

people's dleLs geL ouL of whack when Lhe sLrucLure of Lhe work week ls lefL ouL of Lhe equaLlon
and you dellberaLely or lnadverLenLly upseL Lhese rhyLhmlc and conslsLenL sleeplng and waklng
hours. SLaylng up laLe, or sleeplng ln, or boLh - can Lhrow Lhe body ouL of whack ln all klnds of
ways - physlologlcally and meLabollcally. Cnce agaln, Lhls shows how Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls a
one-dlmenslonal and unreallsLlc very llmlLed approach Lo welghL-conLrol because lL focuses Loo
narrowly on Lhls one slngle elemenL of 'whaL you eaL.' 8uL Lhe body does noL work one slngle
elemenL aL a Llme separaLe from each oLher. ?our body ls a comblnaLlon and concerL of bllllons
of movlng parLs and sysLems worklng ln con[uncLlon on levels we are barely beglnnlng Lo
comprehend. 8uL as you can see here, sleep lLself affecLs welghL and hunger - because sleep ls
also assoclaLed wlLh sLress or lack of sLress - as prevlously dlscussed. And sLress affecLs welghL
and hunger as well. ln regards Lo regular sleep and wake paLLerns - [usL llke wlLh regular meal
Llmes dlscussed above - ?ou can see Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls a preLend soluLlon Lo long-Lerm
welghL-conLrol and lL wlll fall because lL ls so obvlously llmlLed ln scope.
And also connecLed Lo sleep ls how you feel abouL how you Lhlnk abouL food yes - buL lL
exLends beyond Lhls as well. Pow you acLually LreaL your body can affecL quallLy of sleep and
sleep cycles as well. uleLlng - over-exerclslng - obsesslon wlLh body-lmage or body-welghL - all
Lhese Lhlngs can produce a body ouL of balance wlLh Lhe mlnd and vlce versa. And a body ouL of
balance ls noL golng Lo be able Lo experlence real and Lrue quallLaLlve and resLoraLlve sleep.
And Lhls becomes a negaLlve feedback loop. - 8ecause a lack of resLoraLlve sleep lLself - agaln
produces a physlcal body ouL of balance. And Lhese Lhlngs [usL keep relnforclng each oLher.
SomeLlmes you may noL even be aware of Lhe Lhlngs you are 'loslng sleep over' - even when
Lhey may be so obvlous. 8uL lack of quallLy sleep perpeLuaLes a very desLrucLlve feedback loop
Loward lll-healLh and self-saboLage. And Lhe whole sequence beglns wlLh lLs rooL cause - noL
from dleL and noL from lack of sleep - buL Lhe lack of self-accepLance and self-compasslon LhaL
seLs Lhls all ln moLlon. And all Lhese Lhlngs prevenL you from formlng healLhy boundarles abouL
your body, your welghL and for creaLlng a vlslon where you see yourself enLlrely from Lhe
lnslde-ouL - and accepLlng yourself ln whaL you see!
WelghL Loss 1lp - My flnal welghL loss Llp requlres Laklng desLrucLlve acLlon because lL wlll be
symbollc and lmpacLful for you Lo do so. CeL rld of your welghL scale. All lL has been for you ls a
way for you Lo [udge and re[ecL yourself. lL has never been your frlend and you have always
granLed lL far Loo much lmporLance and lnfluence over you. uesLroy your welghL scale. ln facL -
Lake parL ln dolng so. 1ake a sledge hammer Lo lL or whaLever else. 1alk Lo lL as you desLroy lL.
?ell aL lL lf you llke - even wrlLe ln a [ournal laLer abouL whaL lL felL llke Lo do so. 8uL physlcally
desLroy your welghL-scale. 1hlnk of lL as a flnal acL of flghLlng back - llghLlng back ln a war LhaL
should never have been waged Lo begln wlLh. uesLroy LhaL welghL-scale and Lhen glve yourself
a hug for dolng so. Conslder Lhls an acL of chooslng ?Cu over your dleL-menLallLy. And conslder

www.scoLLabel.com
121

LhaL acLlon Lo be a glanL sLep forward ln your process of self-accepLance Loward developlng a
Lrue mlndseL of self-compasslon. uesLroy LhaL welghL-scale and never look back.
l wlsh you all Lhe besL ln geLLlng lL" - and geLLlng rld of your LormenLor - your dleL-menLallLy
...

www.scoLLabel.com
122

ALNDIk

kLLA1LD SCC11 A8LL Ak1ICLLS

www.scoLLabel.com
123

1he Dogma of Iear |n D|et and Nutr|t|on Study and ract|ce

1he more Lhlngs change Lhe more Lhey seem Lo sLay Lhe same. 1he LruLh ls - Lhe way nuLrlLlon
has been sLudled over Lhe lasL 30-40 years has noL changed much. And whlle Lhls may seem llke
a good Lhlng for Lhose who are sLudylng nuLrlLlon - Lhere ls a ?ln and ?ang effecL golng on here
as well. As l've sald many Llmes Lhe reducLlonlsL naLure of Lhe sLudy of nuLrlLlon - noL only has
not led Lo a solld knowledge of dleLlng and meLabollsm - buL lL remalns as confused now as lL
ever was. Moreover, whaL ls more Lroubllng Lo me ls Lhe klnd of mloJset" Lhls currenL mode of
sLudy produces. 8eLween Lhe reducLlonlsL-naLure of nuLrlLlon sLudy and Lhe mass markeL of dleL
and welghL-loss - a Lype of dangerous d|et-menta||ty" ensues. l have dlscussed Lhls ln many of
my books. 8uL Lhe way Lhe fleld of nuLrlLlon sLudy conLrlbuLes Lo Lhls -lL all ofLen goes
unnoLlced.
1here ls an old academlc expresslon ln regards Lo real search for Lhe LruLh. lL dlcLaLes, let
sleeploq Joqmos lle." 1hls ls sorL of a remlnder Lo researcher's how easy lL ls Lo geL caughL up
ln Lhelr own paradlgm bllndness and research blas - and how easy lL can be Lo sllde lnLo
dogmaLlc Lhlnklng. Well, Lhe reducLlonlsL naLure of nuLrlLlon sLudy sLrlkes me as one Lype of
dogma. 8uL Lhere ls more Lo Lhe expresslon, leL sleeplng dogma's lle" - and LhaL ls - whaL
abouL Lhe posslble lle" wlLhln any dogma. And Lhls ls whaL l'd llke Lo address ln regards Lo how
Lhe sLudy of nuLrlLlon conLrlbuLes, dlrecLly and lndlrecLly Lo Lhe modern d|et-menta||ty."
eople my age remember Lhe 70's as Lhe low fot" era of nuLrlLlon pracLlce. ln Lhe 70's Llll Lhe
laLe 80's we were Lold Lo load up on our rlce cakes, eaL margarlne lnsLead of buLLer, and keep
all faLs as low as posslble. 1he message back Lhen was clear - fats" were Lhe enemy of welghL-
conLrol. And Lhe low-fot" dleL was Lhe r|ght way" Lo sLay healLhy and lose welghL. lasL
forward a few decades and varlous forms of |ow-carbs manla becomes all Lhe rage. now,
lnsLead of locloJloq your poLaLoes and rlce, you needed Lo geL rld of Lhem. ln Lhls 'new and
lmproved' nuLrlLlonal Lhlnklng - Lhe 'low-fot movemenL was all wrong. "Low-carbs" - Lhls ls
Lruly Lhe r|ght way" Lo go. And now Lhe message from Lhe nuLrlLlon-world ls equally clear -
carbs" are Lhe enemy Lo welghL conLrol, and a |ow-carb d|et ls Lhe key Lo healLh and welghL-
loss.
8uL Lhe mlndseL behlnd boLh meLhodologles remalns Lhe same ln Lhe wesLern world. 1he
mlndseL creaLed and lnLenslfled ls Lo fear" and vlllfy one macro-nuLrlenL group, and make
anoLher your nuLrlLlonal super-heroes." And of course, all any of Lhls does ls lead Lo emoLlonal
aLLachmenLs Lo how people eaL: LmoLlonal aLLachmenLs LhaL are decldedly negaLlve and sLress-
lnduclng.

www.scoLLabel.com
124

And as nuLrlLlonal knowledge seems Lo expand, whaL we are supposed Lo fear" slmply
becomes more reflned. now, Lhe prevalllng dogma" LhaL lles - ls LhaL we need noL fear ALL
faLs, [usL 9*#" ones. We need noL fear ALL carbs, [usL 9*#" ones. And of course Lhls [usL
lnLenslfles an emoLlonal connecLlon Lo food as good/bad, rlghL/wrong. 8uL Lhe boLLom-llne
message of all Lhls new knowledge has noL changed Lhe faulLy mlndseLs behlnd nuLrlLlonal
Lhlnklng. 1he so-called knowledge and loglc ls sLlll relnforclng a mlndseL Lo be afra|d" of
cerLaln foods, and LhaL lf you lndulge ln Lhem - Lhen because Lhey are bad, Lhen by assoclaLlon -
?Cu are bad. And Lhls klnd of dogmaLlc Lhlnklng ls creaLlng more harm Lhan good when Lhe
sLudy of nuLrlLlon ls Laken ouL of lLs own domaln and employed by markeLers for publlc
consumpLlon - And/or when lL ls LwlsLed and corrupLed by Lhe dleL and flLness lndusLry.
1hls mlsLaken 'fear-based dogma' of nuLrlLlon has led Lo a 'fear-based re|at|onsh|p to food'.
?ou become dlsconnecLed from food, your own food sources, llke no oLher specles on Lhe
planeL. All oLher anlmals know whaL foods Lo eaL, naLurally" and lnsLlncLlvely. 1hey are 'wlred
and connecLed' Lo do so. 1hey have no 'fear-based' Lhlnklng or emoLlon dlsLorLlng Lhls naLural
relaLlonshlp. Cnly humans do Lhls! And lL's Llme Lo reclalm your connecLlon Lo food as a
pleasure source." And you cannoL do LhaL wlLh a fear-based dogmaLlsm moLlvaLlng your
Lhlnklng of how and whaL Lo eaL. lL's Llme Lo clalm back all of lL and accepL LhaL you llve ln a
world of lndulgenL foods. lL's Llme Lo sLop preLendlng LhaL you don'L. WhaL lf you could clalm lL
all back ln your mlnd? (CeL rld of Lhe dleL-menLallLy) WhaL lf you could embrace food, all food,
as a source of pleasure agaln, lnsLead of a source of fear, lnsLead of as a source for gullL and
reward? WhaL lf you could Leach yourself Lo embrace all of lL - faLs, carbs, proLelns, LreaLs, and
celebraLlons - of uslng food as parL of your human connecLlon? Aren'L you Llred of Lhe
schlzophrenlc dleL-menLallLy LhaL Lells you Lo eot tbls oot tbot - and Lhen reverses lLself every
decade or so? And Lhe fear-based dleL-menLallLy and schlzophrenla LhaL Lells us - we should use
food as celebraLlon for 1hanksglvlng, ChrlsLmas, Weddlngs, lunerals, ChrlsLenlngs, 8ar-mlLzvahs
- oh, buL be careful and be afrald of over-lndulgence when you do so? Aren'L you Llred and
confused of Lhe ongolng lnLellecLual" argumenLs among nuLrlLlonlsLs - Lhe klnd of argumenLs
LhaL don'L help you, buL keep you locked ln Lhe fear-based dogma of Lhe dleL-menLallLy?" So,
whlle proponenLs argue for no Lo low-carbs dleLs and push every dleL from SouLh 8each Lo ur.
ALklns - ur. Crnlsh, on Lhe oLher hand offers Lhe exacL opposlLe argumenL and pushes"
carbohydraLes? Who ls rlghL? Well, whaL lf lL '[usL doesn'L maLLer'?
lnsLead of focuslng on who 'may be' rlghL nuLrlLlonally - maybe lL ls Llme Lo focus whaL Lhls
fear-based dogma does Lo ?Cu, Lhe lndlvldual consumer. Maybe lnsLead of Lrylng Lo 'geL lL
r|ght' - you can [usL embrace LhaL lL's all, all-rlghL. lL's all rlghL Lo love food agaln. And maybe
wlLhouL Lhe fear-based dogmaLlc approach Lo nuLrlLlon and Lhe dleL-menLallLy lL produces -
maybe you can more easlly clalm back belng responslble" wlLh food cholces, wlLhouL belng

www.scoLLabel.com
12S

[udgmenLal" over Lhem. lL's Llme nC1 Lo leL sleeplng dogmas of Lhe nuLrlLlon and dleL lndusLry
||e" - lL's lnsLead Llme Lo sLop buylng Lhe '||e' of Lhelr dogma!
l Lalk abouL Lhe lrench aradox a greaL deal because lL ls so relevanL Lo how m|ndset ref|ects
behav|or and outcome. Well anoLher parL of Lhe lrench aradox LhaL should educaLe" us ls
LhaL Lhe lrench don'L mandaLe nuLrlLlon labels" on foods. - ln facL Lhe whole ldea of Lhls ls
relaLlvely forelgn Lo Lhem. And Lhey see no reason Lo 'teJoce' a food Lo lLs componenL parLs,
because Lhey are noL LaughL Lo fear food componenLs of any klnd, buL Lo embrace food - all
food.
ln 2009, l was ln Lhe SouLh of lrance. My brlef Llme Lhere relnforced Lo me Lhe lessons of Lhe
lrench aradox. l spenL Llme aL many ouLdoor markeLs, where you can slL and eaL as well. 1he
slghLs and smells of lndulgenL food ls everywhere. 8uL of course Lhere are no fasL food
companles aL all. WhaL l observed ls LhaL l noLlced few, lf any overwelghL people. 1here [usL
weren'L any. lL was preLLy cool Lo wlLness Lhe lrench aradox ln reallLy. Conversely, l also spend
Llme each year Lravelllng back easL ln Canada. 8ecenLly, whlle ln a huge food courL aL one of Lhe
blgger malls - l conLrasLed Lhls experlence Lo my Llme ln lrance. 1he opposlLe of Lhe open-
markeL experlence ln lrance - Lhe food courL of course ls composed mosLly of fasL food
companles. And as l looked around ln Lhe mall, l noLlced Lhe opposlLe as well abouL Lhe people.
1he ma[orlLy of people, were overwelghL - [usL Lhe opposlLe of whaL l saw ln lrance. l observed
a loL more of mlndless eaLlng as well. now, none of Lhls ls hardly a sclenLlflc sLudy aL all - buL lL
sure seems relevanL Lo me. no one seems Lo be dlscusslng Lhe fear-factor" of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy ln norLh Amerlca. no one seems Lo be dlscusslng Lhe dlfference beLween an
appreclaLlon of food whlch leads Lo savorlng" a meal experlence - vs. Lhe norLh Amerlcan
noLlon LhaL whaL we coveL and appreclaLe we coosome" more of. So whlle we are asslmllaLed
Lo a 'fear of food' paradox - we also engage ln pracLlclng a 'port|on d|stort|on' obsesslon wlLh
food LhaL ln Lhe lrench aradox - would [usL be percelved as gluLLony." (all Lhls Superslze and
oLher unreal elemenLs of porLlon slze)
So Lhe quesLlon remalns - how ls Lhls helLer-skelLer-fear-based-schlzophrenlc approach Lo
nuLrlLlon and dleL - ever golng Lo lead back Lo a healLhy re-connecLlon Lo food - Lo appreclaLlng
lL, savorlng lL, en[oylng lL? Aren'L you exhausLed from llvlng ln Lhe fears you embrace when you
lnLernallze Lhe d|et-menta||ty?" l deal wlLh cllenLs day ln and day ouL whose llves are forever
negaLlvely alLered by Lhelr learned fear-based Lhlnklng ln regards Lo food, nuLrlLlon, and dleL.
lsn'L lL Llme Lo release yourself from such a faulLy and dlsLorLed schlzophrenlc mlndseL? uon'L
you wanL Lo reconnecL Lo uslng food as a source of pleasure, whlle sLlll havlng lL nC1 occupy a
place of such emoLlonal slgnlflcance ln your mlnd? lL's Llme Lo slmply leL lL go!

www.scoLLabel.com
126

sych|c kebe|||on and "1he D|et Menta||ty"

1he dleL-menLallLy ls a mosL lnsldlous mlndseL. lL Lakes over all and mosL LhoughLs abouL food
and wellness and puLs Lhem ln Lhe 'emoLlonal realm' of your awareness. lrom LhaL polnL on
your LhoughLs Lo do wlLh food and dleL have damaglng emoLlonal aLLachmenLs connecLed Lo
Lhem. LveryLhlng becomes abouL absoluLes of good and bad/rlghL and wrong - and Lhen of
course food and eaLlng become abouL gullL and reward as well. 8uL Lhls ls noL how your braln ls
wlred regardlng food. (See my book 8eyond MeLabollsm") So, Lhe more pervaslve and lnvaslve
Lhe dleL-menLallLy becomes wlLhln you - Lhe more lmprlsonlng lL becomes as well. And Lhls
ofLen exLends well beyond food and eaLlng. lL becomes an encompasslng way of vlewlng
yourself ln Lhe world based on your dleL or eaLlng and whaL you call progress." 1he dleL-
menLallLy lLself can become a dlsorder lf lL negaLlvely lmpacLs your llfe and adds sLress where
calm energy would usually be. When food/eaLlng/welghL/body lmage are your dally focus Lhen
you llve ln an emoLlonal prlson - one seL-up by Lhe dleL-menLallLy.
And when l Lalk abouL Lhe dleL-menLallLy (8ook Lwo of Lhe hanLom Menace pro[ecL ls devoLed
enLlrely Lo Lhe dleL-menLallLy) so many of you recognlze yourselves ln lL lmmedlaLely. ?ou
recognlze Lhe prlson lL has puL you ln and you seek freedom from LhaL prlson. 8uL your lack of
undersLandlng of Lhe depLh of Lhe dleL-menLallLy doesn'L lead you Lo freedom so much as lL
leads you Lo an aLLempLed prlson-break." ?ou do noL really undersLand whaL freedom from
Lhe dleL-menLallLy even ls. ?ou've been llvlng wlLh lL so long, lL has become parL of you and you
can'L really funcLlon wlLhouL lL. So, whlle you wanL Lo be free of lL - you have no Lools Lo do so -
so, you rebel agalnsL lL. 1he dleL-menLallLy exlsLs once you cross a llne and elevaLe food and dleL
Lo a cerLaln level of emoLlonal lmporLance ln your llfe. Cnce you feel llke food or dleL has Lhe
power Lo make you feel good or bad abouL yourself or your llfe, Lhen you are ln a dangerous
place ln your mlnd. lood has no such power. uleL has no such power. 1he facL you Lhlnk lL does
now glves boLh food and dleL Lremendous energy ln your menLal and emoLlonal realms. MosL of
you evenLually geL Lo a place where you wanL Lo rebe| aga|nst |t. And so LhaL ls whaL you do.
?ou Lell yourself sllly lnfanLlle slogans LhaL you really don'L even belleve. ?ou say Lhlngs Lo
yourself llke l Joot eveo cote ooymote! - looJ wlll oot tole me ooymote, lm qoloq to eot
wbot l woot, wbeo l woot. And so beglns your rebe|||on vs. Lhe dleL-menLallLy. ?ou Lry Lo break
away from lL. And you preLend lL ls [usL LhaL easy Lo do - llke a prlson-break.
Well Lhlnk of a prlson-break for a mlnuLe:
A prlson break doesn'L mean you've earned your freedom. lL means you've broken ouL of
prlson and are now on Lhe lamb, runnlng from Lhe law - always looklng over your shoulder and

www.scoLLabel.com
127

always sLressed abouL geLLlng caughL. So, you broke ouL of prlson and are free from one klnd of
lmprlsonmenL, buL belng on Lhe run presenLs you wlLh a new and dlfferenL klnd of
lmprlsonmenL. 1h|s |s "escape" |t |s not "freedom." Well Lhe same exlsLs when you Lry Lo [usL
rebe| and escape from Lhe dleL-menLallLy.
Pow lL usually plays ouL ls LhaL you sLarL allowlng yourself Lo eaL foods you've prevlously denled
yourself. ?ou llke Lhem so much you eaL more of Lhem. 1hen, you allow your mlnd Lo enLerLaln
Lhlnklng" abouL foods you never allowed yourself Lo Lhlnk abouL before. lood Lhen, sLlll
occuples your mlnd. And gullL" ls never far from Lhe surface of your emoLlonal self elLher - so
you Lry Lo push lL down and preLend lL's noL Lhere- as parL of Lhe new you. 8uL now you have a
whole hosL of new lssues. ?ou Lell yourself your appeLlLe ls ouL of conLrol. ?ou eaL Llll you are
sLuffed, alLhough noL all Lhe Llme. And you Lell yourself all Lhls ls because you wlll noL llve under
Lhe dleL-menLallLy lnfluence any longer. 8uL you can'L see LhaL rebe|||ng aga|nst |t, st||| means |t
contro|s you. AoJ lets foce lt wbeo yoo eot loJolqeot fooJs fot oo teol potpose otbet tboo to
ptove o tebellloo, tbeo yoo feel oo teol potpose lo lt eltbet. As you start to ga|n we|ght, you do
not rea||y ga|n perspect|ve because the d|et-menta||ty st||| contro|s you, even Lhough you
deny lL. So you go Lhrough Lhls perlod where you eaL whaL you wanL because you've sald l*ck
lL" Lo Lhe dleL-menLallLy. 8uL you don'L fee|" beLLer. ?ou sLarL Lo galn welghL, rebel agalnsL Lhe
menLallLy a llLLle more -and you sLlll don'L reallze you are [usL llvlng ouL Lhe fllp slde of lLs coln.
ou are no freer from |t than before. ?ou don'L reallze all along LhaL Lhe dleL-menLallLy - once
lL Lakes over - ls really an aLLempL Lo 4&)'/&+" emoLlons ln your llfe - emoLlons llke paln, anger,
hosLlllLy, fear and resenLmenL. C8, Lhe dleL-menLallLy has Laken over because of some shallow
need you have for valldaLlon for your body - confuslng Lhls wlLh valldaLlon for who you are.
And so now ln Lhls rebelllon sLage, along wlLh lndlscrlmlnaLe eaLlng - all Lhese emoLlons come
Lo Lhe surface as well. And Lhey only add Lo Lhe confuslon of your aLLempLed rebelllon agalnsL
Lhe dleL-menLallLy. 1hlnk of lL Lo be a loL llke a chlld havlng a Lemper LanLrum. 1he LanLrum of
Lhe Lerrlble 2's as lL's known. LlLLle LoLs saylng l*ck lL" Lo Lhelr parenL's wlll. 1hey say no, no,
no," and Lhrow LanLrum afLer LanLrum Lo have whaL Lhey wanL. 8uL yeL aL 2 yrs. old Lhey only
have one standard of structure Lo go by. 1hey have no alLernaLlve menLallLy ln Lhelr mlnds
oLher Lhan parenL's sLrucLure -> rules, codes and rlgldlLy. lL ls all Lhey know. ?es, Lhese Llny LoLs
teoct oqolost lL" - buL Lhey don'L change lL - and Lhey can'L llve wlLhouL lL. So Lhey 'acL ouL.'
1hey exert menta| and emot|ona| energy aga|nst the structure |n the|r ||fe - but they have no
rea| counter energy to |t. And Lhe rebelllon dles off.
And when you confuse Lhe LanLrum of your rebelllon agalnsL Lhe dleL-menLallLy - as freedom
from lL - you are baslcally dolng Lhe same Lhlng. ?ou are [usL furLher cemenLlng yourself Lo lL.
And so afLer a whlle of rebelllng agalnsL Lhe dleL-menLallLy, you are [usL as menLally and

www.scoLLabel.com
128

emoLlonally exhausLed. And you are cerLalnly no happler wlLh your body or body-welghL. ln
facL, because boLh of Lhese are sLlll cenLral ln your mlnd lL shows you've never really had
freedom from Lhe dleL-menLallLy aL all. ?ou've [usL Lrled Lo prlson-break an escape agalnsL lL for
a whlle. So wlLh all Lhls rebelllon you reallze your welghL ls cllmblng and LhaL ls noL whaL you
wanL. 1he foods you've allowed yourself Lo eaL have losL Lhelr allure. And now you are [usL as
unfulfllled and empLy as you were before. And so where do you end up? Well of course, you
oeqotlote ooJ totlooollze" wlLh yourself and you go rlghL back Lo dleLlng agaln -> More of Lhe
'bettet tbe Jevll yoo koow" klnd of menLallLy. 8uL whaL you don'L Lruly undersLand ls Lhe
dlfference beLween freedom from Lhe dleL-menLallLy vs. your aLLempLed prlson-break escape
from lL.
uleLs Lhemselves have always been represenLed by Lwo words - force and contro|. And yeL how
has elLher of Lhese Lwo energles ever been a parL of a self-empowerlng experlence of freedom
and cholce? lL's noL posslble. Iorce and contro| are pr|son. 1hls ls much dlfferenL Lhan dlsclpllne
and self-conLrol. So you rebel agalnsL Lhe prlson buL lL leads you rlghL back Lo lLs conflnemenLs
agaln and agaln.
LeL me Lell you Lhls clearly so you undersLand lL. What you seek when you seek freedom from
the d|et-menta||ty |s you seek freedom from [udgment - NC1 freedom from respons|b|||ty.
?our dleL-menLallLy has cemenLed ln you lnLo bellevlng LhaL emoLlonal [udgmenL and
responslblllLy are Lhe same - and LhaL you cannoL have one wlLhouL Lhe oLher. 1hls ls Lhe dleL-
menLallLy mlndf*ck. ?ou wouldn'L really mlnd an adulL and responslble mlndseL Loward eaLlng
and food. lL's Lhe emoLlonal [udgmenL you wlsh Lo free yourself from, correcL? And you can'L do
LhaL Llll you properly undersLand [usL how deeply Lhe dleL-menLallLy has contro| over you - and
how lL forces you Lo Lhlnk and feel. (Lhose Lwo words agaln!)
nexL ls Lhe quesLlon of how." - 8uL Lhe quesLlon of how" has Lo be puL ln lLs proper conLexL.
MosL of you Llll now have been seeklng 'how Lo' escape Lhe dleL-menLallLy ln your prlson-break
rebelllon agalnsL lL. ?ou have noL been seeklng 'how Lo' Lruly be free of Lhe dleL-menLallLy. So,
geL LhaL parL sLralghL ln your head flrsL. And all Lhe Llme people are asklng me, now 5cott, bow
Jo l qet ftee of tbe Jlet-meotollty?" Well you need Lo reallze flrsL and foremosL LhaL freedom
from Lhe dleL-menLallLy flrsL requlres a recovery from lL. And recovery needs Lo be vlewed as an
ongolng process - NC1 as a goal LhaL needs Lo be accompllshed and won. Can'L you see and
accepL LhaL seelng freedom from Lhe dleL-menLallLy as a goal" ls sLlll Lhe exacL same Lhlnklng of
Lhe dleL-menLallLy mlndseL lLself?
lreedom from Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls a process. lL's a process bullL around easlng Lhe pressures
and focus of food and dleL. lL's a process LhaL focuses on Lhe dlfference beLween emoLlonal

www.scoLLabel.com
129

[udgmenL and personal responslblllLy. lL's a process of surrenderlng and leLLlng go - lL ls NC1 a
process of conquerlng and squashlng. 8elng free from Lhe dleL-menLallLy means geLLlng back Lo
someLhlng more lnnaLe and naLural. LeL's call lL Lhe lteocb coooectloo." lL means geLLlng back
Lo belng self-connecLed ln all Lhree realms of Lhe Lrlangle of awareness when lL comes Lo food
and eaLlng. lL's a process of geLLlng back Lo LhaL deep connecLlon LhaL you - llke every oLher
anlmal on Lhe planeL - already knows whaL Lo eaL. lL's abouL geLLlng back Lo LrusLlng your body
as a pure source of auLhenLlc lnformaLlon for you - lf you [usL allow lL Lo be: lf you [usL learn Lo
sLop [udglng lL and Lo sLarL LrusLlng lL. lreedom from Lhe dleL-menLallLy means geLLlng back Lo a
naLural order of Lhlngs, wlLhln you - noL wlLh-'Lhln' you: lreedom from Lhe dleL-menLallLy
means movlng away from a menLal and emoLlonal focus on joJqmeot of phys|ca| appearance -
and golng back a level of honesL focus on ossessmeot of phys|ca| exper|ence.
So, lf you Lruly wanL Lo be free of Lhe dleL-menLallLy, you need Lo be honesL abouL lL and aware
of lL. up Lo now, mosL of you have only been pracLlclng an lnfanLlle-llke rebe|||on 'agalnsL' lL -
and LhaL doesn'L free you of lL all. Ireedom and escape are not the same th|ng. And real
freedom always has responslblllLy as a componenL of lL. lsn'L LhaL how you sLay ouL of prlson?
1o relLeraLe, when you seek freedom from the d|et-menta||ty, you seek trans|t|on|ng from
emot|ona| [udgment to persona| respons|b|||ty - no more and no less. And Lhls ls a process, noL
a goal. unLll you geL all of Lhls rlghL - and ln Lhe rlghL conLexL - you wlll conLlnue Lo confuse
rebelllon wlLh breaklng-free.

www.scoLLabel.com
130

kegard|ng Crav|ngs
1r|gger Ioods and A|ternat|ve Moods

Many of you wrlLe me regardlng cravlngs" or Lrlgger foods" - Lhose foods you slmply have no
conLrol over and even Lhlnklng abouL Lhem, leads Lo an lnevlLable dleL-saboLaglng splurge. And
of course Lhese foods are never carroLs or apples, are Lhey? So, LhaL ls Lhe flrsL Lhlng you wanL
Lo Lhlnk abouL, ln regards Lo Lhese emoLlonal lmpulses for food - and speclflc Lrlgger foods LhaL
you Lell yourself you have no conLrol over, lf you are around Lhem - or even Lhlnk abouL Lhem.
Anyone who can ldenLlfy wlLh Lhls scenarlo l wanL you Lo engage yourself ln submlLLlng Lo Lhls
arLlcle.
CfLen Lhe quesLlon Lo me ls how Lo avold a cravlng or how Lo reslsL an urge. And Lhese are
always Lhe wrong quesLlons because you wlll always have urges and cravlngs. So, Lhe lssue ls
abouL how you accepL or deal wlLh Lhese Lhlngs. 8uL leL's examlne all Lhls furLher ln real Lerms.
llrsL l wanL you Lhlnk on LhaL one speclflc Lrlgger food - LhaL one food you Lhlnk you have no
conLrol over. And for some of you, even golng Lhls far - already has you worrled. ?ou know LhaL
merely Lhlnklng on Lhls parLlcular food ls llkely Lo creaLe an urge or cravlng for lL - and you
know aL LhaL polnL you are helpless Lo noL acL on lL. 8uL are you? LeL's geL lnLo lL. Agaln, Lhlnk
on your one parLlcular food weakness, or lf you have many, zone ln on one speclflc lndulgenL
food. 1hlnk abouL lL - focus on lL.
now for Lhe sake of argumenL l need Lo glve an example - so leL's say lL's ualry Cueen lce Cream
- lL doesn'L maLLer, lL can be blrLhday cake, or chocolaLe - whaLever Lrlgger food you feel
helpless agalnsL - Lhlnk and focus on LhaL food rlghL now. l wanL you Lo lmaglne Lhe LexLure of
lL. lmaglne someone preparlng LhaL food for you rlghL now - rlghL ln fronL of you - and all Lhe
usual sensory-sLlmull are helghLened - smell, slghL, anLlclpaLlon, eLc. now l wanL you Lo lmaglne
LhaL you really wanL Lhls food rlghL now, Lhls mlnuLe. 8uL you need Lo drlve Lo go geL lL. Agaln,
for Lhe sake of argumenL leL's preLend Lhls ls ualry Cueen.
So now plcLure yourself drlvlng Lo uC ln anLlclpaLlon of your lce-cream dellghL - made Lo order.
Are you even more helpless and have no conLrol over Lhls slLuaLlon, now LhaL you have seL lL ln
moLlon - has Lhe process produced Lhe urge you expecLed lL Lo as lL always does? lmaglne now
LhaL you have sLood ln llne for abouL 10 mlnuLes and lL's your Lurn Lo order. lmaglne also LhaL
you haven'L eaLen all day ln preparaLlon of Lhls lndulgence. 1hlnk, and focus on Lhls scenarlo.
Are you anLlclpaLlng lL?

www.scoLLabel.com
131

Ck, so Lhe server has prepared your uC dellghL and handed lL Lo you - 1haL one food Lo whlch
you are always weakesL and have no conLrol over. 1he LreaL ls now ln your hands. 8uL before
you puL lL Lo mouLh l pose Lhls quesLlon - you say you have no conLrol over Lhls food - so lf l
was wlLh you Lhere and l ask you Lo sLop and noL eaL lL aL Lhls polnL - aL Lhls polnL of walLlng all
day for lL - aL Lhls polnL of Lhlnklng all day abouL lL - aL Lhls polnL of sLarvlng yourself all day for
lL - aL Lhls polnL of havlng lL handed Lo you dlrecLly and lLs 3 lnches from your mouLh - lf l ask
you Lo puL lL down now and noL eaL lL, whaL would your response be? Can you do lL easlly -
whlle keeplng ln mlnd Lhls ls your one speclflc emoLlonal Lrlgger food? WlLh all Lhese above
condlLlons - can you puL lL down slmply because l ask you - or wlll you prove Lo me and Lo
yourself LhaL [usL llke you LhoughL, you really have no contro| over yourse|f aL Lhls polnL?
WhaL ls your honesL answer here? Would lL be hard Lo do Lo puL lL down and come back
anoLher Llme?
lf any of you are belng honesL you wlll say, hell no, l can'L puL Lhls down aL Lhls polnL!" And
LhaL ls [usL your honesL reporL of whaL you belleve. 8uL leL me add a wrlnkle Lo Lhls scenarlo.
lnsLead of lL belng me pollLely asklng you Lo lnLerrupL your LhoughL process and puL Lhe food
down aL Lhe lasL second - lmaglne Lhls scenarlo lnsLead. 1he server hands you Lhe lce-cream
you've anLlclpaLed all day long LhaL you are so hungry for. ?ou pause for Lwo seconds [usL Lo
Lake lL all ln vlsually. 8uL durlng LhaL Lwo second pause - lnsLead of me Lhere wlLh you -
lmaglne lnsLead you feel Lhe nozzle of a 337 magnum suddenly pressed agalnsL your Lemple -
you hear Lhe cocklng of Lhe Lrlgger - you see everyone behlnd Lhe servlng desk duck and run for
cover - and Lhen you hear Lhese words sald dlrecLly Lo you - 1ake one blLe of LhaL and l'll blow
your head off, and lL wlll be Lhe lasL Lhlng you ever LasLe!" Now, |n that scenar|o, wou|d |t be
hard for you to put the |ce-cream treat down and not eat |t? no, of course lL would be easy,
wouldn'L lL?
So, why do you speak Lo yourself ln 'obsolote' Lerms when lL comes Lo cravlngs and Lrlgger
foods? Why do you Lell yourself you 'have no conLrol over Lhem' - because clearly, dependlng
on Lhe clrcumsLance, no maLLer how much you've been Leased Lo deslre LhaL one Lhlng you
Lhlnk you can'L reslsL - ln Lhe rlghL clrcumsLance you 4*) reslsL lL, lmmedlaLely, and easlly. 8uL
Lhls lsn'L Lhe whole sLory - noL yeL.
...
now l wanL you Lo lmaglne Lhe same scenarlo ln Lerms of Lhlnklng of your Lrlgger food and
focuslng on lL. All Lhe same condlLlons are presenL - you've avolded food all day and you've
declded now, LhaL even lf you wanLed Lo sLop you couldn'L - you've klcked Lhe cravlng lnLo hlgh

www.scoLLabel.com
132

gear, and now you don'L even wanL Lo Lry Lo reslsL lL - Lhe anLlclpaLlon of lL all ls parL of Lhe
process of decadenL lndulgence, ls lL noL? So, lmaglne, Lhe day ls done and you are now drlvlng
Lo uC Lo achleve your reward LreaL. And lmaglne lL ls also [usL on Lhe edge of wlnLer ouLslde,
hlgh wlnds, cold and ralny.
As you leave your drlveway and head ouL Loward saLlsfylng Lhls oocoottolloble otqe LhaL you say
you can'L flghL - you are faced wlLh Lhls scenarlo: As you drlve down Lhe sLreeLs of your
nelghborhood ln Lhe cold laLer afLernoon alr eagerly anLlclpaLlng saLlsfylng Lhls urge for a uC
LreaL, you noLlce someLhlng ln Lhe sLreeL [usL ahead. As you drlve closer you noLlce lL's a baby,
slLLlng rlghL ln Lhe mlddle of Lhe sLreeL, wlLh noLhlng on buL a dlaper ln Lhe cold alr. 1he baby ls
crylng and screamlng and ls obvlously ln dlsLress, and obvlously ls ln lncredlble danger as well,
belng ln Lhe mlddle of Lhe road llke LhaL. Are your thoughts st||| contro||ed by your urge for
your tr|gger food? - And whaL abouL your emoLlons and mood now? uo you keep drlvlng Lo Lhe
uC and [usL swerve around Lhe chlld and lmaglne someone else wlll Lake care of Lhe slLuaLlon?
- 8ecause afLer all, you have an urge you can'L sLop or conLrol, rlghL? Cr, do you pull Lhe car
over, sLop, aLLend Lo Lhe baby and do whaL you can? Well agaln, Lhe answer ls preLLy easy lsn'L
lL?
And as you aLLend Lo Lhe baby and surroundlng scenarlo - whaL has happened Lo Lhls
-)4&)'/&++*9+" -/."" for uC LhaL you say you are helpless agalnsL? Well, lL dlsappears, doesn'L
lL? Lven ln your lmaglnaLlon now, lL's gone, lsn'L lL? And along wlLh lL - Lhe cravlng dlsappears as
well.
So, whaL you learn ls LhaL once agaln, you te|| yourse|f to be||eve emot|ona| |mpu|ses that are
[ust not true. AoJ lf yoo teploce tbot speclflc emotloool lmpolse wltb ooe of oo eveo mote
belqbteoeJ emotloool loteoslty, tbeo tbe folse emotloool lmpolse Jlsoppeots ooJ ls teploceJ by
tbe oew ooe. ln oLher words, all of Lhese scenarlos are mere emoLlonal fabrlcaLlons of your
mlnd. ?our emoLlonal braln Lells your raLlonal braln Lo make sense of your urges and cravlngs -
buL slnce your emoLlonal braln ls sLronger - your raLlonal braln comes up wlLh Lhe |og|ca|
conc|us|on LhaL you are 'metely belpless oqolost cettolo fooJ ttlqqets ot ctovloqs." 1he only
problem wlLh Lhe loglc ls LhaL lL ls false - lL's an unLruLh. 8uL Lhere ls even more psychology
here for you Lo undersLand, and Lhls ls very lmporLanL.
1wo CU's - Moods and Att|tudes
?ou see, ln boLh Lhe slLuaLlons above CU are Lhe oLher person lnvolved. 1he person holdlng
LhaL gun Lo your head ls CU. 1he baby ln Lhe mlddle of Lhe sLreeL - ls also CU. 1hese are Lhe
Lwo parameLers wlLhln whlch you Lend Lo Lry Lo galn conLrol of your Lwo emoLlonal selves. MosL
of you Lry Lo teslst oo otqe by engaglng some sorL of recrlmlnaLlng or [udgmenLal self-Lalk. 1h|s

www.scoLLabel.com
133

|s the metaphor|ca| gun to your head. And lL may even work a Llme or Lwo. 8uL lL cannoL lasL as
a soluLlon.
?ou see when you engage Lhe qoo to yoot beoJ" Lype of Lhlnklng Lo Lry Lo reslsL unwanLed
urges, (a.k.a. -do Lhls or else) whaL happens ls you engage Lhe human fllghL or flghL response.
1hls lncreases acLlvlLy ln Lhe sympaLheLlc nervous sysLem. 1hls Lells Lhe body lL ls ln danger, and
a sLress-response-experlence ls Lhe resulL, noL [usL physlologlcally, buL psychologlcally.
hyslologlcally, Lhe body wlll release all Lhe usual sLress hormones, and psycho|og|ca||y you
exper|ence anx|ety and stress as a resu|t. So even Lhough you can puL Lhe lce-cream down -
you can'L puL down LhaL feellng of a gun Lo your head ln Lrylng Lo do so.
1h|s adrena||n-produc|ng approach to so|v|ng |ssues by try|ng to res|st them cannot work for
|ong. 1he reason ls Lhe flghL or fllghL response ls one LhaL ls sLressful Lo you ln every way. ?our
body and your mlnd always seek rellef from sLress. 1betefote, yoot ottempt to ose sttess to
teJoce oo otqe ot o ctovloq, wlll mote tboo llkely leoJ eveotoolly to tbot vety some sttess oqolo,
coosloq tbe otqe ot ctovloq lo seekloq emotloool tellef ftom tbe qoo to yoot beoJ feelloq of
ptessote. Make sense?
1he body and Lhe mlnd always seek rellef from sLress or sLruggle. Calm ls Lhe preferred human
dlsposlLlon. So wh||e a gun to your head can show you that your urges are |ess out of contro|
than you th|nk and fee| - |t |s a counter-product|ve form of res|stance - llkely Lo cause Lhe
same level of sLress whlch lnduces Lhe cravlngs and urges all over agaln - because now Lhe
cravlngs and urges emanaLe from Lhe seeklng of rellef from Lhe flghL or fllghL sLress of Lhe gun
Lo Lhe head aLLlLude and mood.
AoJ yet, tbls ls bow so mooy of yoo tty to coootet-oct, ot teoct to otqes ooJ ctovloqs, oot
teollzloq, yoo ote cteotloq tbese exoct some otqes ooJ ctovloqs by Joloq so.
...
now leL's examlne Lhe oLher scenarlo. CU - are also Lhe baby ln Lhe sLreeL. ?ou need
compasslon, securlLy, warmLh. ?ou need comforL! When you look aL noL Lrylng Lo reslsL an urge
wlLh a gun Lo Lhe head Lechnlque - compass|on makes a |ot of sense. ln LhaL scenarlo of
aLLendlng Lo Lhe baby ln Lhe sLreeL - you are noL 'reslsLlng an urge aL gun polnL' anymore, are
you? no, |nstead of |nduc|ng stress, you are seek|ng to 'g|ve' compass|on and comfort. 1hls
has Lhe effecL of calmlng you regardless of Lhe slLuaLlon.
?ou 'feel' beLLer abouL yourself by aLLendlng Lo Lhe baby, whlch ls you. ?ou aren'L reslsLlng or
flghLlng an urge for food anymore because you don'L need Lo. When .(6(). comforL and
compasslon, you are ln conLrol, because you Lake emoLlonal conLrol - and negaLlve emoLlonal

www.scoLLabel.com
134

lmpulses cannoL manlfesL ln you aL LhaL polnL. hyslologlcally, Lhe opposlLe of Lhe gun Lo Lhe
head happens. hyslologlcally lnsLead of engaglng Lhe flghL or fllghL adrenalln response - you
engage tbe colmloq effect of comfott ooJ compossloo. 1hls reduces acLlvlLy ln Lhe sympaLheLlc
nervous sysLem. 8uL Lhls also lncreases acLlvlLy ln Lhe parasympaLheLlc nervous sysLem - and
Lhls Lells Lhe body everyLhlng ls all rlghL, whlch relaxes and calms Lhe sLress response. 8y
seeklng Lo comforL and calm LhaL baby ln Lhe sLreeL (whlch ls you alone wlLh your urges and
cravlngs) - you calm and comforL yourself. And when you do LhaL, Lhe emoLlonal lmpulse of
cravlngs and urges, loses Lhelr grlp. 1hey may st||| be there but they are power|ess |n terms of
seduc|ng you to act on them. ?ou don'L need Lo acL on an urge or cravlng aL Lhls polnL Lo
provlde 'rellef from sLress' or Lo 'provlde comforL' because you have already done so.
1oo many of you Lry Lo 4&%9*'" llfe, by Laklng Lhe 'gun Lo Lhe head' approach for flghLlng off
sLress, Lhereby creaLlng more of lL. And |n that se|ect|on of mood and att|tude - your so|ut|on
becomes the prob|em, wh|ch |tse|f |s now the source of stress you are seek|ng re||ef from.
8uL all klnds of sLudles show LhaL compasslon, comforL, klndness, g|ven" - lncreases elecLrlcal
acLlvlLy ln Lhe braln relaLlng Lo 8&2('(6" *)# "),*)4"# %&&# 2'*'"2. And when you are ln a
poslLlve and enhanced mood sLaLe - Lhere ls no urge or cravlng beyond your conLrol - and you
would no longer Lhlnk or feel LhaL Lhere ls. We call Lhls compass|onate-m|nd. lL ls Lhe opposlLe
of how mosL of you 'Lry' Lo deal wlLh food urges and cravlngs. 8uL lL's only the compass|onate-
m|nd LhaL works - boLh shorL-Lerm and long-Lerm. 8uL noLlce Lhe braln chemlsLry ls alLered
Lhrough Lhe act|on" of g|v|ng" comforL and compasslon - noL [usL Lhlnklng" abouL lL.
:++ ;&- )""# '& #& (2 2'&8 '," 4*/ < *)# '")# '& '," 9*9; () '," 2'/""'= :!'"/ *++7 2,"02 >?@A lL's
abouL selecLed moods and aLLlLudes - lL's never abouL 'unconLrollable urges and cravlngs' - and
lL's never abouL 'cerLaln foods you have no conLrol over' - Cf course you do!

www.scoLLabel.com
13S

sychosomat|c Nutr|t|on: art 1

l've Lalked abouL Lhe mlndseL of dleL and nuLrlLlon for ages. l've dlscussed Lhe relevance of 1he
lrench aradox - and how Lhe lrench adore and en[oy food buL slmply do noL obsess over lL.
And Lhe resulL ls even Lhough Lhey eaL subsLanLlally more lndulgenL" food, and smoke far more
on a person Lo person basls - Lhey are ln facL far healLhler Lhan Lhelr norLh Amerlcan
counLerparLs. ?es, l've dlscussed Lhls ln several of my books and 8logs. eople read Lhem wlLh
lnLeresL, glve Lhem a qulck nod of 'LhaL's lnLeresLlng' and Lhen go rlghL back Lo lnLerneL searches
for Lhe nexL wonder-dleL or wonder-supplemenL.
8uL Lhe facL of Lhe maLLer ls LhaL Lhe way mosL of you Lhlnk abouL dleL and nuLrlLlon ls whaL ls
causlng Lhe mosL Lrouble for you wlLh your dleL and nuLrlLlon. l mean lL's rldlculous when you
Lhlnk abouL lL.
lL's llke mosL of you wanL Lo be slck. ?ou wanL Lo be food resLrlcLed.
1hls ls whaL you Lell yourselves, even lf lL's subconsclously. So, when you can flnd someLhlng
wlLh a compleLely general and vague sympLomology - you laLch on Lo lL. ?es, lm qloteo
lotoletoot" or lm Jolty-seosltlve." WhaLever. MosL people wlLh Lhe dleL-menLallLy conslder
Lhemselves boLh - and even conslder oLher food-senslLlvlLles as well.
uoot yoo koow tbot sweeteoet yoo ote osloq cooses coocet?" And on lL goes.
?ou [usL don'L geL lL. Ch, buL Lhe nuLrlLlon and dleL lndusLry geL lL [usL flne. 1hey wanL you Lo be
afrald of food or food-sLuffs. 1hey wanL you Lo depend on Lhem for your lnformaLlon for whaL
ls ok Lo eaL." And Lhls ls rldlculous Lo Lhe polnL of belng farclcal. 1haL ls Lo say, ?Cu, and Lhe way
you have allowed your mlnd Lo be manlpulaLed by markeLlng - CU have become r|d|cu|ous
and farc|ca|, ln all your nonsense and obsesslon over anyLhlng and everyLhlng food or nuLrlLlon-
relaLed.

We are now a compleLely consumpLlon-based socleLy. Cn LhaL fronL we wanL." And our wanL"
knows no ends. lronlcally enough we also now conslder LhaL all answers Lo all lssues are
maLLers of consumpLlon" (l.e. Lhere musL be a plll or supplemenL for LhaL)
8uL our obsesslon wlLh 8ody lmage and nuLrlLlon, comblned wlLh food ls a markeLer's paradlse.
Cnce you are Lold you can'L eaL a cerLaln Lhlng - LhaL ls exacLly when wanL" klcks ln and you

www.scoLLabel.com
136

can'L seem Lo go wlLhouL lL. 8uL lf you sLand back and conslder Lhe absurdlLy of lL all, Lhe way
Lhe lrench do - does lL make any sense?
So, you have gluLen-free pasLa, gluLen-free bread, flour-free bread, cocoa-free chocolaLe, sugar-
free chocolaLe, dalry-free lce-cream, faL-free lce-cream, sugar-free lce-cream, caffelne-free
coffee, sugar-free cookles and candles, faL-free everyLhlng, and yes of course even meaL-free
hoL dogs and hamburgers. And don'L even geL me sLarLed on low carb, carbs-foods and low-
sodlum everyLhlng. Can you noL see how rldlculous and conLradlcLory lL all ls?
?our obsesslon wlLh food ls slck - hllarlous, buL slck.
Ch people llke Lo play down how lmporLanL food ls ln Lhelr llfe. lf l asked you Lo make a llsL of
10 Lhlngs LhaL really maLLer Lo you ln your llfe, l doubL food or dleL" would make Lhe llsL - ?eL,
lf you are Lruly belng honesL wlLh yourself, and llsLed whaL maLLers" - as a stat|st|ca| ref|ect|on
of how many t|mes per day you th|nk or worry about |t - Lhen food/dleL would be near Lhe Lop
of LhaL llsL and for all Lhe wrong reasons.
lL's Llme you sLopped walklng around llke zomble-lemmlngs. ou need to get tru|y consc|ous
about d|et and food so you can |et go of th|s psychosomat|c ho|d |t has on you. llrsL you need
Lo sLarL observlng how ofLen you Lhlnk abouL food, dleL, and nuLrlLlon. 1hen observe and
become aware of whaL goes on when you Lhlnk abouL Lhese Lhlngs. Comblne how ofLen you
Lhlnk of food/dleL/nuLrlLlon wlLh how you feel when dolng so. Pow are you when you are
eaLlng? Pow do you feel when you are eaLlng food LhaL you label as qooJ fot yoo" vs. how you
feel when eaLlng food LhaL you label as boJ fot yoo." 1hls beglns acknowledglng Lhe
psychosomaLlc hold Lhls all has on you.
AfLer a whlle, can you even know whlch ls Lhe chlcken and Lhe egg ln Lhls equaLlon? Maybe all
Lhls focus and Lenslon on food and dleL - maybe LhaL l5 Lhe problem. Maybe LhaL ls whaL
makes you feel" slck. Maybe LhaL ls whaL makes you Lhlnk you can'L LoleraLe Lhls or LhaL food.
Cne of Lhe key lndlcaLors Lo eaLlng dlsorders or poLenLlal ones are when you geL more focused
on food llmlLaLlons." ?ou llke Lo focus on whaL you Lhlnk Lhey can'L or shouldn'L have, over
whaL you can have and en[oy. 8uL Lhls ls anoLher paradox because your bralns are wlred Lo
en[oy food. (see my book, 8eyond Metabo||sm) 1rylng Lo preLend you can'L have or en[oy
cerLaln and a speclflc food ls noL golng Lo work for long. Pence Lhe lndusLry sLeps ln and glves
you faux" verslons of anyLhlng and everyLhlng - llke Lhe llsL of 'faux foods' above.

LlsLen lf you're lll or prone Lo lllness and you've goL Lhe dleL-menLallLy Lhen more Lhan llkely you
Lhlnk dleL has someLhlng Lo do wlLh lL - wheLher lL's Lrue or noL. 1hen you end up wlLh a gluLen-

www.scoLLabel.com
137

free, meaL-free, sugar-free, salL-free, dalry-free, calorle-free approach Lo dleL whlch ls anyLhlng
buL BCDD." 1haL my frlends - ls lmprlsonmenL. lL's humor-free, lL's en[oymenL-free, and yeL lL
never seems Lo be gullL-free or shame-free, does lL? And yeL, l've had many people hlre me Lo
wrlLe Lhem dleLs LhaL caLer Lo Lhe above llmlLaLlons of gluLen-free, sugar-free, carbs-free, meaL-
free, sodlum-free blah, blah, blah. lL's rldlculous, and lL's slck and lLs parL and parcel of
psychosomaLlc nuLrlLlon.
?ou llve ln fear of whaL Lhls or LhaL food may do Lo your body, lnLernally and exLernally. Many
of you also use Lhls as Lhe backdrop Lo whaL ls really golng on. ?ou wanL food resLrlcLlons. ?ou
wanL Lo be Lold cerLaln foods make you slck - noL because Lhls ls Lrue - buL because ellmlnaLlng
Lhese foods, you Lhlnk, wlll glve you LhaL beLLer body. Ch, you never say or admlL lL - noL even
Lo yourself. 8uL underlylng all of Lhls fooJ-lotoletooce" ls really a body-lmage lssue. 8ut you
se|dom arr|ve at a happy body by gett|ng there w|th a m|ndset of den|a| and se|f-depr|vat|on.
(See my hanLom Menace pro[ecL for more on Lhls.)
So, along wlLh Lhe fear-based dleL-menLallLy Lhe resulL can only be emotloool teosloo." 1he
exacL opposlLe of Lhe lrench who cannoL lmaglne or faLhom Lhe word Lenslon" assoclaLed wlLh
eaLlng and food. 8uL ln Lhe fear-based mlndseL you eaL someLhlng lndulgenL and Lhen feel gullLy
or slck - agaln, psychosomaLlc. lf you Lhlnk and Lell yourself you can'L LoleraLe a cerLaln food,
Lhen [usL Lhe worry abouL knowlng" LhaL means when you eaL lL, of course you are golng Lo
experlence physlcal sympLoms.
1he whole lssue and problem of Lhe wesLern world ls ln maklng all of nuLrlLlon and dleL such a
blg Lhlng Lo begln wlLh. l mean, really, conslder Lhe popular name WelghL WaLchers." WhaL
does LhaL acLually mean? lL means people whose focus ls on food and welghL, welghL and food,
food and welghL, welghL and food. Well LhaL cerLalnly sounds worry-free, doesn'L lL?
And Lo answer all of Lhls wlLh well yeah buL lL works" means you sLlll llve ln Lhe dleL-menLallLy.
no lL doesn'L work! 1o creaLe worry and concern over someLhlng as LrlLe as food/eaLlng and
dleL - shows how messed up Lhe mlndseL musL be Lo begln wlLh.
Much of modern nuLrlLlon ls menLal or markeLlng manlpulaLlon produclng a psychosomaLlc
resulL. And of course my poslLlon ls noL Lhe popular one. ?ou can'L sell" my poslLlon and you
can'L consume" lL elLher. 8uL wlLh psychosomaLlc nuLrlLlon you can creaLe pllls, poLlons, maglc
waLer, cleanses, supplemenLs, all Lhe faux food caLegorles menLloned above. 1herefore
everyone ls happy and free." 1he producL manufacLurers are cerLalnly happy - and as
consumers, you geL an answer Lo llLerally consume" - for every slngle psychosomaLlc nuLrlLlon
lssue" you Lhlnk you have. And yeL, are you more free and happy dleL-wlse? ls your

www.scoLLabel.com
138

food/eaLlng/dleL no long an lssue- no longer a blg deal- no longer someLhlng you Lhlnk much
abouL?
no, Lhe lrench have Lhe rlghL ldea. lor all of you who Lhlnk you have all Lhese nuLrlLlonally
relaLed resLrlcLlons, good Lhlng you don'L llve ln lrance. Ch, Lhe sacrllege of waklng up Lo a full
bagueLLe and block of cheese ln Lhe mornlng! uon'L Lhey know LhaL sLuff ls made wlLh flour and
wlLh gluLen, and wlLh dalry?
Ah yes, Lhey know. And Lhey are happler and healLhler Lhan ?Cu A8L.
1oo bad psychosomaLlc nuLrlLlon ln norLh Amerlca doesn'L lead Lo wellness buL Lo all klnds of
phanLom allmenLs.

www.scoLLabel.com
139

sychosomat|c Nutr|t|on art 2

?ou are all famlllar wlLh expresslons llke wottleJ slck." ?ou also know LhaL Lhese expresslons
are based ln LruLh. 1he varlous neuroLransmlLLers of Lhe body responslble for elLher a sense of
well-belng and for anxleLy are placed all Lhrough Lhe dlgesLlve LracL as much as Lhey are Lhe
braln. 1hls ls facL. 1hls ls also why Lhe relaLed release of sLress hormones ls known Lo also be
cosmeLlcally unfrlendly." Many of you know LhaL lf you are sLressed you sLarL Lo hold waLer,
become bloaLed, maybe gassy, perhaps consLlpaLed or unforLunaLely, [usL Lhe opposlLe. And
mosL of you know LhaL sLress and worry can lnduce Lhese physlologlcal responses. lL ls no
colncldence LhaL Lhese some qeoetol symptoms are common among all Lhe varlous food"
relaLed dlgesLlve dlsorders and allergles and lnLolerances LhaL Lhe modern clvlllzed world has
psychologlcally manufacLured for you - so now you can have someLhlng else Lo worry" abouL -
food lLself - and of course - a markeLed soluLlon Lo solve lL for you. lL's lronlc Lo me LhaL mosL lf
noL all of Lhese dlsorders are unheard of ln Lurope ln Lhe areas where people sLlll llve
LradlLlonal llves - where Lhe corner sLone of Lhelr mlndseLs Loward food ls a mlndseL of
en[oymenL - noL fear and sLress. So Lhe quesLlon begs, lf Lhese food averslons were Lrue Lhen
wouldn'L Lhey be unlversal regardless of counLry?
1he word dlsease ofLen means dls-ease, whlch means o coose boseJ lo o sootce of teosloo,
osoolly ooteleoseJ teosloo. And Lhe Lenslon you have been led Lo absorb and lnLernallze abouL
food and eaLlng - tlqbt fooJs vs. wtooq fooJs - ls as much a conLrlbuLor Lo any food-allergy-
lllness-averslon you 'Lhlnk' you have - over anyLhlng you are acLually eaLlng. And when l say
Lhls, people love Lo geL all offended and defend Lhelr vlcLlm sLaLus. 1hey love belng vlcLlms of
food and dlgesLlve allmenLs - phanLom Lhough Lhey may be. Lven Modern nuLrlLlon ln PealLh
and ulsease" esLlmaLes LhaL over 90 of people wlLh Lhese varlous food lssues dlgesLlve
dlsorders" acLually do NC1 have Lhem. 8uL oh, you love Lo Lhlnk you do. And Lhls ls a decldedly
curlous norLh Amerlcan phenomenon.

So, Lo make Lhe polnL on Lhe mlndseL of psychosomaLlc nuLrlLlon - follow me Lo my
hypoLheLlcal ScoLL Abel laboraLory for a llLLle experlmenL.
Llke many oLher oottltloolsts" ouL Lhere, l've [usL sLaLed l have a lab, so lL musL be Lrue, rlghL?
1o be even more offlclal l've even donned Lhe whlLe lab coaL for full effecL. l've chosen Lwo
people ln my lab wlLh exacLly Lhe same sympLoms. 8oLh have been convlnced by Lhe dleL, food,
and supplemenL lndusLry LhaL Lhey have varlous food averslons LhaL makes Lhem slck - you

www.scoLLabel.com
140

know, bloaLlng, cramplng, headaches, waLer-reLenLlon, faLlgue - Lhe usual sympLomology LhaL
can apply Lo a Lhousand dlfferenL Lhlngs - lncludlng sLress and worry. 1hese Lwo people, leL's
call Lhem Clndy and Susan: l've glven Lhem each a serlous dose-by-ln[ecLlon of sodlum
penLoLhal. ?ou know lL as LruLh serum." 8uL LruLh serum ls noL someLhlng LhaL makes you Lell
Lhe LruLh - LhaL ls a publlc mlsundersLandlng. 1he varlous LruLh serums" are drugs LhaL make
you lnLensely open Lo suggesLlon." (A loL llke masklng markeLlng as sclenLlflc proof)
So, afLer doslng Clndy and Susan, Lhe experlmenL ls ready Lo begln. 8oLh are now qulLe open Lo
Lhe power of suggesLlon. l glve Clndy a couple large chocolaLe eclalrs. 8uL along wlLh Lhese
eclalrs l soqqest to bet" LhaL Lhls parLlcular food ls golng Lo do her a world of good. She ls golng
Lo feel much beLLer and healLhler from eaLlng Lhls food. Per sympLoms are golng Lo go away, lf
she [usL eaLs Lhls more regularly, and less of oLher Lhlngs. l soqqest" Lo her also, LhaL
everyLhlng l'm Lelllng her ls cllnlcally proven ln labs around Lhe world. Labs - [usL llke mlne.
now, for Susan, l Lake a dlfferenL rouLe. l glve her a whole foods salad, wlLh healLhy nuLs, seeds,
raw veggles, healLhy exLra vlrgln ollve oll - [usL Lhe healLhlesL meal posslble. 8uL now under Lhe
effecLs of sodlum penLoLhal - l also soqqest" Lhe followlng Lo her: l Lell Susan LhaL ln Lhe fuLure
she wlll [usL noL be able Lo reslsL Lhls meal because lL's sooooo dellclous. 8uL l also soqqest" Lo
her, Lhls meal ls maklng her slck. 1hls ls Lhe meal causlng all her dlgesLlve sympLoms. And [usL
llke wlLh Clndy, l soqqest" Lo her also LhaL everyLhlng l am Lelllng her ls cllnlcally proven" all
around Lhe world ln labs - [usL llke mlne.
now for added effecL and because l conslder myself a blL of a mad sclenLlsL - l hook Clndy and
Susan up Lo a bunch of bells and whlsLles machlnes -1he klnd of machlnes LhaL wlll beep and
make nolse and measure Lhlngs llke worry, anxleLy, sLress and physlologlcal response Lo lL all.
1he concluslon looks someLhlng llke Lhe followlng:
Clndy ls compleLely relaxed by all physlologlcal lndlcaLlons and responses. 8uL she ls eaLlng Lhe
chocolaLe eclalrs whlch everyone ouLslde my ScoLL Abel mad-lab knows ls bad for her and
should lmmedlaLely affecL her condlLlon and response. ?eL all machlnes measurlng sLress - boLh
emoLlonal and physlologlcal - are quleL.

Susan on Lhe oLher hand ls maklng her own nolses of en[oymenL - slnce lL was soqqesteJ Lo her
she would love" Lhls salad meal - even Lhough lL would make her slck. So you can hear her
moanlng mmmm, LhaL's good" as she sLarLs Lo LasLe her food. 8uL wlLhln mlnuLes afLer
swallowlng Lhe flrsL few blLes Lhe machlnes are golng crazy and lndlcaLlng all klnds of emoLlonal

www.scoLLabel.com
141

and physlologlcal sLress responses. She loves Lhe food, buL as soqqesteJ to bet" - lL seems Lo
be maklng her slck.
ln my lab, (slnce l'm bored and slngle wlLh noLhlng else Lo do), l conLlnue Lo monlLor Lhem boLh
for several hours afLer Lhe lnlLlal doslng of LruLh serum - and well-afLer Lhe lnlLlal consumpLlon
of Lhe soqqestlve food soluLlon or culprlLs.
Clndy, who aLe Lhe eclalrs - flnds LhaL dolng so has had no lll effecLs on her condlLlon - none aL
all. Per 2'*'" &! %()#7 !&/%"# 9; '," 8&1"/ &! 2-.."2'(&), has compleLely cancelled ouL any
anLlclpaLed physlologlcal reacLlons and common sympLoms of her suspecLed food averslons.
Susan, on Lhe oLher hand, Lhoroughly en[oyed her healLhy salad - as l soqqesteJ Lo her she
would - and ln facL says she now craves lL - buL she also koows fot o foct" Lhls salad ls maklng
her slck - and all Lhe prevalenL physlcal sympLoms are presenL, whlch seem Lo supporL LhaL
concluslon.
And leL's geL real here. 1hls ls lndeed sclence. AfLer all l'm wearlng a lab coaL. l'm a nuLrlLlon
experL. AL leasL more-so Lhan mosL people ouL Lhere selllng snake oll soluLlons by creaLlng
dlgesLlve dlsorders ouL of Lhln alr.
?ou've been Lold Lo agonlze over Lhls plece of bread or LhaL Lhlng made of flour. And now you
are llLerally 'scared' Lhls food wlll lnduce all Lhe dlgesLlve dlscomforLs you have been
experlenclng. Well, you haven'L even eaLen lL yeL. So, whaL do you Lhlnk happens when you do?
!usL llke wlLh oLher healLh lssues, lL's usually noL Lhe dleL or Lhe food LhaL ls aL lssue - no! lL's
Lhe clrcus-llke Lenslon creaLed all around lL - LhaL ls whaL ls causlng your varlous dlgesLlve
dlsorders." And for even more of you, Lhe facL you llke Lo be parL of a speclal vlcLlms unlL."
(lsn'L LhaL a 1.v. show?) ney, lm speclol - l bove oll tbese fooJ testtlctloos, Joot yoo koow.
Maybe years ago you began feellng bad [usL eaLlng Lhlngs you were Lold would make you faL.
1haL bad feellng preclplLaLed a physlologlcal response way back when - and you can'L even
remember lL as a Lrlgger. Slnce Lhen, you've had a psychosomaLlc response Lo a varleLy of
foods, LhaL you have been markeLed Lo you - and now Lrlcked you lnLo bellevlng LhaL eaLlng
such foods wlll lead Lo all klnds of dlgesLlve dlsorders and sympLoms - and oh, may make you
faL as well. Well, who wanLs LhaL ln Lhelr dleLs!

8uL whaL lf you could ln reallLy [usL eaL whaLever you wanL? l beL wlLh LhaL ca|m m|ndset you
won'L need Lo sLuff a whole cake lnLo your mouLh ln one slLLlng - and Lry Lo do lL qulckly before

www.scoLLabel.com
142

Lhe self-loaLhlng and gullL klcks ln. MosL blnge eaLers eaL wlLh LhaL Llme-delay gullL/shame
facLor ln mlnd - Lhey know lL's comlng rlghL behlnd, so geL ln as much as you can before lL klcks
ln.
WhaL l acLually know" Lo be Lrue ls LhaL lf you [usL leL go of all Lhls Lenslon you've creaLed ln
your mlnd abouL good vs. bad food - you'll have a ca|mer approach to food and eat|ng - and
therefore a symptom-free exper|ence of eat|ng as we||. ?ou don'L need Lo label foods as good
or bad, palnful or slnful. lL's [usL food" for Cod's sake!
lf you can geL Lo Lhls calm place - my guess ls you'll sLarL Lo care way less abouL food. And
because of LhaL you won'L be less responslble wlLh food, buL more responslble. And |ess
tens|on means more en[oyment. l even beL you'll lose welghL. 8uL aL LhaL polnL slnce you've leL
go of all Lhe Lenslon and drama - loslng Lhe welghL as well, wlll flnally be no blg deal. As Lhese
Lhlngs maLLers less - Lhen Lhey have less power Lo make you slck.
1haL ls Lhe LruLh of psychosomaLlc nuLrlLlon.
1he LruLh serum you've all been swallowlng- ls a heavy and sLeady dose of mass markeLlng of
fear and paranola, packaged wlLh lnsLanL soluLlons. So, you end up resLrlcLlng more and more
foods from your llfe and Lell yourself you are happler for dolng so. 8uL Lhe reallLy ls, you sLlll
worry, sLress and freL over food and eaLlng. vlcLory - mass markeLlng. vlcLlm - ?Cu, only noL ln
Lhe way you wanL Lo belleve.
l do suggesL for furLher readlng you check ouL my book, 8eyond Metabo||sm: Understand|ng
our Modern D|et D||emma.

www.scoLLabel.com
143

More Consequences of the "D|et-Menta||ty" CVLkSLNSI1I2A1ICN

When l wroLe Lhe book 8eyond Metabo||sm: Understand|ng our Modern D|et D||emma" lL
was Lo Lry Lo explaln Lo people how Lhe norLh Amerlcan focus on dleL/dleLlng and welghL"
ofLen produces Lhe exacL problems lL clalms Lo eradlcaLe. LlLLle dld l know aL Lhe Llme, LhaL
Lhere was so much Lo say ln LhaL book - LhaL lL led Lo anoLher 3-book pro[ecL, Iood Issues and
ou: I|na||y Iac|ng our hantom Menace". And Lhls laLLer pro[ecL has one book dedlcaLed
enLlrely Lo Lhe dleL-menLallLy" and all Lhe unlnLended consequences lL causes. When you
conslder Lhe Lrlangle of awareness (physlcal/menLal/emoLlonal realms) ln Lhe overall equaLlon
of lndlvldual consclousness, Lhe only concluslon you can draw ls LhaL Lhe Jlet-meotollty" ls noL
only ||m|ted as a way of Lhlnklng abouL eaLlng/food/welghL and healLh - lL ls more or less
decldedly destruct|ve as well. And yeL, as many people seem Lo nod Lhelr heads ln agreemenL
wlLh my argumenLs - Lhey go rlghL back Lo Lhe menLallLy LhaL Lhls dleL-obsessed culLure has
lnfused ln Lhem - and LhaL ls LhaL dleL-awareness requlres a dleL-focused menLallLy. And Lhls ls
a fundamenLal error ln Lhlnklng. And l have Lo deal wlLh Lhe ramlflcaLlons of such Lhlnklng on a
dally basls, ln my Coachlng pracLlce.
1he Jlet-meotollty ls compleLely llmlLed ln scope and yeL lL ls absoluLe ln Lhe way lL swallows
people lnLo bellevlng ln lL. ln Lerms of Lrue awareness-Lralnlng Lhere ls an expresslon LhaL what
you focus on expands" and Lhls ls a sLaLemenL Lo advlse people Lo pay aLLenLlon Lo whaL Lhey
Lhlnk abouL, and how Lhey Lhlnk abouL lL. nowhere ls such an advlsemenL a servable warnlng as
Lo when lL comes Lo Lhe dleL-menLallLy. 1he dleL/flLness/healLh lndusLrles wanL you Lo belleve ln
Lhelr own deluslon - and LhaL ls LhaL wellness can only be secured wlLh an eLernal vlgllance
approach Lo whaL you eaL. And Lhls ls noL Lrue. noL only ls lL Lrue LhaL whaL you focus on
expands - buL lL ls also Lrue LhaL when you are led Lo belleve you musL be vlgllanL" ln your
approach Lo a normal blologlcal lmperaLlve, llke eaLlng - then someth|ng you possess natura||y
- ends up unnatura||y possess|ng you.
Cne of Lhe consequences of Lhe dleL-menLallLy ls an over-sens|t|zat|on Lo all Lhlngs and maLLers
connecLed Lo food, dleL, and especlally hunger. 1he more you are Lold Lo wrlLe down,
concenLraLe on, learn abouL, and focus on food - Lhe more all Lhese Lhlngs Lake conLrol of you
lnsLead of you Laklng meanlngful conLrol of Lhem. 1he resulL ls noL greaLer "se|f"-awareness,
buL lnsLead a Lype of "hyper"-sens|t|v|ty, Lo all envlronmenLal and blologlcal cues deallng wlLh
hunger/appeLlLe/food/welghL conLrol. WhaL Lhls means ls LhaL Lhe Jlet-meotollty has Lhe exacL
opposlLe effecL of lLs lnLended purpose. When you become over-senslLlzed/hyper-senslLlzed Lo
a glven envlronmenL - lL means you have a lower Lhreshold for noLlclng all Lhe cues assoclaLed
wlLhln LhaL envlronmenL. ?ou may Lhlnk Lhls ls a good Lhlng Loward mlndfulness" and conLrol

www.scoLLabel.com
144

of eaLlng - buL Lhe unlnLended consequences say oLherwlse. 1hlnk abouL lL from a broader
perspecLlve for a mlnuLe.
When you fall under Lhe spell Lo Lhe Jlet-meotollty one slmple buL faulLy equaLlon rules LhaL
mlndseL - And LhaL equaLlon ls dleL = good, because bodyfaL = bad." And Lhen you buy lnLo all
Lhe culLural hysLerla LhaL surrounds LhaL faulLy equaLlon. And you buy lnLo lL mosLly ln Lhe Lwo
realms of awareness whlch wlll have Lhe mosL devasLaLlng and desLrucLlve consequences - your
menLal and emoLlonal realm. So Lhen you geL all concerned and educaLed and vlgllanL abouL
faL" - you sLudy abouL" faL - belng faL, faL grams, good faLs, bad faLs, how much faLs, speclflc
faLs, and yeL, wlLh all Lhls educaLlon abouL faL" - people are faLLer Lhan ever! Why? - 8ecause
Lhe Jlet-meotollty has unlnLended consequences no one ls Lalklng abouL.
WhaL you Lruly asslmllaLe and absorb abouL educaLlng yourself more and more on faLs" ls LhaL
faL scares you! lL's acronym - l.A.1." - (lear Adlpose 1lssue) and so you unwlLLlngly sLarL
aLLachlng emoLlonal componenLs Lo lnanlmaLe concerns llke faL and all lLs relevanL
componenLs. 8uL LhaL ls whaL happens on Lhe general level. WhaL happens Lo Lhe person on Lhe
lndlvldual level ls a level of over- sens|t|zat|on Lo all maLLers deallng wlLh food/eaLlng and
welghL conLrol. 1hlnk abouL LhaL for a mlnuLe.
LveryLhlng abouL food and hunger becomes amp||f|ed ln your mlnd and emoLlonal braln. So,
Lhe quesLlon becomes how can Lhls Jlet-meotollty" ever lead you Lo Lhe peace of mlnd lL
promlses? 1he answer ls LhaL lL can'L. lor example, a norma| person LhaL l deal wlLh has a
norma| funcLlonlng appeLlLe/hunger conLrol cenLer. lL doesn'L occupy or conLrol Lhelr mlnd-seL.
1helr mlnds are noL seL on auLo" for dleL-awareness - buL lnsLead Lhelr mlnds are seL for llfe
awareness. 1herefore as Lhey go Lhrough Lhelr day Lhey may noLlce a hunger cue and Lhlnk,
oh, l'm hungry, how long Lo my nexL meal?" - and Lhen Lhey geL back Lo whaLever Lhey are
dolng. 8uL under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe dleL-menLallLy, Lhls cue geLs ampllfled, because whaL you
focus on expands - so for Lhe dleLer lL becomes - CMC, l feel Pungry - how long Llll my nexL
meal?" - Why am l hungry? - uo l need more calorles? - uld l noL eaL enough aL my lasL meal?
Should l eaL more aL my nexL meal? - Am l caLabollc now? - and so on. ?ou have been Lold Lo
be hyper-vlgllanL" ln Lhe dleL-menLallLy so now you are more over-sens|t|zed and hyper-
sens|t|ve Lo any and all cues assoclaLed wlLh hunger. And because wbot yoo focos oo,
expooJs" ln awareness - Lhls over-sens|t|zat|on Lo cues" only feeds an lmprlsonlng form of
LhoughL and feellng abouL hunger and appeLlLe. ln facL you sLarL belng aware of hunger and
cravlngs aL a far lower more suscepLlble level Lhan normal people, because lL has been
lngralned ln your head Lo be hyper-vlgllanL" abouL lL.

www.scoLLabel.com
14S

And Lhen Lhe exacL same Lhlng happens wlLh cravlngs. A normally Lhlnklng person may Lhlnk Lo
hlmself, Pmm, l'm a llLLle peck-lsh rlghL now. l could really go for a bag of dlll plckle chlps" -
buL Lhe LhoughL has no ampllfled emoLlonal value or emoLlonal aLLachmenL - so Lhe LhoughL
passes and Lhey keep on wlLh whaLever Lhey are dolng. 8uL for someone under Lhe lnfluence of
Lhe dleL-menLallLy - crav|ngs" and all LhoughLs and feellngs surroundlng Lhem become
amp||f|ed" because Lhe Jlet-meotollty Lells you Lo be hyper-vlgllanL, whlch makes you over|y-
sens|t|ve Lo 'normal' human blologlcal cues - whlch you are Lold Lo belleve are dangerous and
negaLlve and LhaL you musL guard agalnsL. So Lhe person under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe Jlet-
meotollty - noL only geLs a cravlng buL geLs way more of Lhem because you are over-sens|t|zed
Lo Lhem. And lnsLead of leLLlng such cravlngs pass - you feel" you musL deal wlLh lL. So lL
becomes, Ch no, I'm crav|ng a bag of d||| p|ck|e ch|ps! - Why am I crav|ng that?
What |f I g|ve |nto |t? now d|d that happen? (noLlce how l ampllfled and bolded Lhe
fonL, because LhaL ls whaL happens ln Lhe braln of someone under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy.
Moreover ln Lhe behavloral realm you Lry Lo conLrol Lhls naLural lnfluence by llmlLlng or
dlsconLlnulng faL or lndulgenL foods. 8uL how long can you do so, when you have an over-
sens|t|zed mlnd LhaL ls hyper aware of cravlngs? ?ou Lry Lo deprlve yourself of faLs, someLlmes
even comblnlng LhaL behavlour wlLh an ellmlnaLlon of carbs as well - buL whaL happens, ln Lhls
hyper-awareness, hyper-aLLenLlve sLaLe? ?our food fee|s less appeallng, and lL also fee|s less
fllllng. And Lhls /"*+('; only lncreases boLh blologlcal hunger and blologlcal cravlngs. ?ou Lhen
Lry Lo conLrol Lhls, as you were LaughL ln Lhe Jlet-meotollty, buL you can'L. So you eaL more of
Lhese good" foods, hoplng Lo fee|" saLlsfled. 8uL your over-sens|t|zed noLlon of whaL
consLlLuLes feellng" saLlsfled, cannoL be meL Lhls way. So Lhe unlnLended consequence of Lhe
Jlet-meotollty ls LhaL lnsLead of helplng" you lose welghL - your over-sens|t|zat|on Lo
hunger/appeLlLe/cravlngs/ and food cues - acLually lnevlLably leads you Lo galnlng welghL.
So, as the d|et-menta||ty prom|ses to de||ver you to mastery and contro| over food]d|et] and
we|ght and |t actua||y has the oppos|te effect and these th|ngs now master and contro| you.
And Lhey masLer and conLrol you because of Lhe unlnLended consequences of over-
sens|t|zat|on/hyper-sens|t|zat|on" Lo hunger/appeLlLe/cravlng/ and food cues - a Lype of
amp||f|ed senslLlzaLlon LhaL normal people do noL experlence. 1herefore hunger and cravlngs
don'L conLrol normal people - Lhese Lhlngs [usL pass, as many oLher non-relevanL LhoughLs pass
ln a day.
And anoLher slde effecL of Lhls ls LhaL, wlLh all Lhe worry and sLress of over-senslLlzaLlon Lo
blologlcal and envlronmenLal cues - Lhere ls a release of sLress hormones - and sLress
hormones are Lhe mosL cosmeLlcally unfrlendly" hormones of Lhe human body. So, lndlrecLly,

www.scoLLabel.com
146

Lhls ls yeL anoLher negaLlve consequence of Lhe dleL-menLallLy - also dlscussed ln my book,
8eyond Metabo||sm."
1he polnL of all of Lhls ls LhaL the d|et-menta||ty |s a fear-based menta||ty. 1herefore lL can
never work. Lven lf you lose welghL, you so lnLensely fear galnlng lL back, LhaL Lhe dleL-
menLallLy sLlll owns you. ?ou don'L own lL. Cver-sens|t|zat|on" whlch leads Lo heavlly
amp||fy|ng normal food and hunger cues ln your mlnd - menLally and emoLlonally - ls [usL
anoLher varlaLlon of why Lhe dleL-menLallLy cannoL work!
1he goa| for we|ght and d|et and food contro| |s to get over them contro|||ng you! 1he d|et-
menta||ty doesn't do that! lnsLead of cognlLlve resLrucLurlng (dlscussed ln my book) over-
sens|t|zat|on]hyper-sens|t|zat|on [usL relnforces and lnLenslfles Lhe currenL dlsempowerlng
cognlLlon of Lhe Jlet-meotollty. And Lhe resulL produces as l say, noL an empowerlng Lhlnklng
sLraLegy" - buL lnsLead a dlsempowerlng sLlnklng Lragedy" of Lhe mlnd.
l say you need Lo surrender Lhls mlndseL of l.A.1 (lear Adlpose 1lssue) and make lL someLhlng
more empowerlng, llke l.A.1. (llnally AccepLlng 1ruLh) or (lorgeL ALLalnlng 1hln). 1he d|et-
menta||ty ls noL Lhe paLh Lo freedom from food/eaLlng/welghL lssues - buL lnsLead lL's a qo
Jltectly to joll" mlndseL, monopoly card.

www.scoLLabel.com
147

1he D|et Menta||ty and D|sordered Lat|ng art 1

LaLlng dlsorders and dlsordered eaLlng lssues have become so pervaslve ln Lhe llLness lndusLry l
have wrlLLen several books on boLh lssues. (See my 3-book pro[ecL 1he hantom Menace, as
well as my book on 8ody lmage uependency ulsorder, 1he Cther S|de of the M|rror) Lspeclally
problemaLlc for me ls Lhe llLness lndusLry responslblllLy ln lnduclng Lhese lssues ln Lhe flrsL
place.
Cnce Lhe dleL-menLallLy" Lakes hold - llfe becomes someLhlng else Lhan lL used Lo be. l am
golng Lo do a serles of arLlcles now on speclflc cllenL-Lypes" who represenL varlous elemenLs of
Lhe dleL-menLallLy" and suffer dlsordered eaLlng problems and food lssues because of lL. As
you wlll see, whaL beglns for one earnesL reason conLlnues for anoLher - buL Lhe form lL Lakes
Lhen becomes self-desLrucLlve and noL self-empowerlng. lL's amazlng Lo me how many people
say" Lhey geL LhaL - but how they ||ve and th|nk w|th|n the d|et-menta||ty |||ustrates a
behav|ora| hypocr|sy whlch ls one of Lhe p|anes of den|a|" of dlsordered eaLlng and Lhe
menLal/emoLlonal grlp of Lhe dleL-menLallLy.
Moreover lL ls especlally problemaLlc and lnsldlous Lo me - how many people defend
compeLlng" ln Lhe physlque world as such a poslLlve experlence - when Lhe personal
ramlflcaLlons and consequences so clearly polnL Lhe opposlLe. (Agaln, see my book - 1he Cther
S|de of the M|rror)

1he D|et Menta||ty and D|sordered Lat|ng In I|tness
1) 1he progresslon from uslng a dleL for self-lmprovemenL and self-empowermenL lnLo self-
desLrucLlve Lendencles has many slmllar componenLs. 1he whole dleL-menLallLy" beglns when
a focus on Jlet ootcome" produces a general sense of unease or dlssaLlsfacLlon. 1hese negaLlve
feellngs can ofLen sLarL ouL as very subLle lndlcaLors - Lhlngs llke dleL-boredom, or emoLlonal
sadness, numbness - even heavler emoLlons llke anger and resenLmenL. Cf course Lhese
feellngs can be broughL on by day Lo day llfe-sLressors or speclflc evenLs - or Lhey may [usL be a
reflecLlon of Lhe dleLer's general ouLlook on llfe. 1he prob|em man|fests when these th|ngs
become f||tered through the "d|et-menta||ty" of focus on food, eat|ng, d|et, we|ght-contro|
eLc.
And Lhese negaLlve LhoughLs can lnslnuaLe Lhemselves lnLo even Lhe brlghLesL day. Many
dleLers know well Lhe experlence of a day golng well buL Lhls ls somehow saboLaged because

www.scoLLabel.com
148

[oy" ls replaced by a remlnder Lo Lhlnk abouL Loday's food or nexL meal's dleL agenda" - Lhus
kllllng a momenL. Cver Llme Lhls produces a klnd of ADnD for Lhose under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe
dleL-menLallLy" - because aL any glven momenL when Lhe mlnd sLarLs Lo focus Loo deeply on
anyLhlng else - you are dlrecLed back Lo some klnd of pendlng food or dleL conslderaLlon.
2) nexL sLep ln Lhe process ls Lhe |ntense des|re and attempt to exert contro| over any
unp|easant thoughts or fee||ngs - or any feellngs LhaL Lake you away from a
dleL/food/hunger/welghL focus" for Loo long. Whlle some people use drugs or alcohol for Lhls
reason and oLhers may gamble - Lhose ln Lhe flLness lndusLry are usually suscepLlble Lo us|ng
both d|et and exerc|se as a way to contro| and]or h|de emot|ona| unp|easantness or genera|
||fe-c|rcumstances that requ|re attent|on. When your dleL-menLallLy leads Lo dlsordered eaLlng
- the act of eat|ng and thoughts of food are your drug of cho|ce.
1he poLenLlal anorexlc wlll Lry Lo use ovolJooce of fooJ and a focus on Lhls absLlnence -as a
means of noL focuslng on negaLlve LhoughLs and feellngs. 1he poLenLlal bullmlc, overeaLer,
compulslve eaLer eLc. wlll slmllarly use tbe coosomptloo of fooJ (lnsLead of Lhe absLalnlng from
lL) Lo do Lhe exacL same Lhlng. So, as you can see - Lhese dlsordered paLLerns, are noL
opposlLes" - Lhey share Lhe same rooL progresslons. eople wlLh dlsordered eaLlng/food lssues
wlll almosL always share Lhls followlng paLLern as well -> Lhey wlll almosL always choose
speclflc Lypes of foods - and Lhey do so based on percepLlons of emoLlonal safeLy, emoLlonal
rellef, or emoLlonal comforL.
8uL Lrylng Lo conLrol feellngs wlLh a dleL-menLallLy fllLer ls a fleeLlng proposlLlon. lor Lhose who
fall lnLo Lhls (you wlll know who you are by Lhls sLaLemenL) -> se|f-|oath|ng |s never very far
away now. As a maLLer of facL lL becomes llke a defaulL emoLlonal poslLlon ln relaLlon Lo food
and dleL and welghL. lor Lhe person Lrylng Lo deny yourself food, whlle aL Lhe same Llme Lhe
body ls hungry and demandlng nourlshmenL - a menLal and emoLlonal sLruggle lnLenslfles. And
slnce you have Lo eaL - when you do - you conslder yourself weak" and Lhe dleL-menLallLy
klcks ln Lhe self-loaLhlng and Lhe whole process repeaLs lLself.
Correspondlngly, for Lhose who overeaL, blnge eaL, or compulslvely eaL - Lhe same klnd of gullL
and shame klck ln followlng Lhe food lndulgence. And for all Lhese groups of dlsordered eaLers -
self-haLe and hopelessness become Lhe sLeady menLal sLaLe under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy. What began as a d|et for se|f-|mprovement qu|ck|y devo|ves - because of se|f-
measurement and se|f-[udgment - |nto a se|f-recr|m|nat|ng, repeat|ng process of |os|ng
yourse|f to the d|et-menta||ty. And lnsLead of reallzlng LhaL CnL? self-accepLance can dellver
you from Lhls abyss - yoo tell yootself tbot self-occeptooce ls oow o qool yoo wlll occompllsb
1,") *)# (! yoo coo stlck to tbe Jlet looq eoooqb - Lo change your welghL and body lmage.

www.scoLLabel.com
149

?ou have now creaLed a menLal/emoLlonal feedback loop where body lmage has become self-
lmage - and Lhe dleL-menLallLy - has - as lLs foundaLlon, an lnLense level of self-re[ecLlon -
fueled by gullL, shame, and self-haLred. As such, you creaLe a cycle LhaL has no soluLlon, buL an
uncondlLlonal lnevlLablllLy of repeaLlng lLself, over and over. ?our negaLlve feellngs prompL and
lnvlLe Lhe [udgmenL of Lhe dleL-menLallLy and Lhls leads Lo Lhe dlsordered eaLlng paLLerns. 1hen
Lhe dlsordered eaLlng behavlor lnvlLes Lhe [udgmenL - and Lhls leads Lo more gullL, shame, self-
re[ecLlon, and on lL goes - over and over agaln. So, regard|ess of what "form" or "pattern"
your d|sordered eat|ng takes on - somet|mes more than one - "food]d|et]we|ght contro|"
become the shared means to attempt to contro| what |s uncontro||ab|e. ?ou end up flghLlng a
baLLle - noL wlLh you - buL wlLh a dleL-menLallLy LhaL has Laken you over. And whaL you really
seek ls rellef from LhaL.
?ou remember whaL lL 'was' llke Lo noL" have a dleL-menLallLy conLrol your mlnd and emoLlon
- buL you have no map for geLLlng back Lo LhaL place.

Lmot|ona| noard|ng
And on Lop of all of Lhls - as lf Lhls wasn'L enough - wlLhln Lhe flLness lndusLry Lhe appeal" of
Lhe beLLer body only lnLenslfles all of Lhese lssues even furLher. ln facL 8ody lmage uependency
ulsorder (my book - 1he Cther S|de of the M|rror) can deepen and expand Lhe dleL-menLallLy
and dlsordered eaLlng paLLerns. ?ou sLarL Lo dleL and exerclse Lo accompllsh a goal of percelved
petfectloo" ln body welghL, body lmage, or dleL compllance. And yeL, perfecLlon llke Lhls ls
unaLLalnable and/or unsusLalnable - so you are back Lo Lhe defaulL poslLlon of self-re[ecLlon
pro[ecLed by Lhe dleL-menLallLy onLo 8ody lmage - and vlce versa.
1he emotloool bootJloq" Lakes place boLh flguraLlvely and llLerally.
llguraLlvely-speaklng emoLlonal hoardlng ls a pot op o qooJ ftoot" appearance. WaLch any
eplsode of Poarders" and you learn LhaL whlle a house seems" ootmol ooJ toqetbet on Lhe
ouLslde" - lnslde Lhere ls Lremendous cluLLer and chaos - and seldom do vlslLors ever geL pasL
Lhe fronL door Lo see Lhe reallLy. Well, ln Lerms of 8ody lmage uependency ulsorder ln
comblnaLlon wlLh Lhe dleL-menLallLy - Lhe same 'hoardlng' exlsLs, ln Lhe flguraLlve sense. 1he
Lhlnklng ls LhaL lf you [usL presenL a LogeLher llgure or physlque on Lhe ouLslde" Lhen people
wlll Lhlnk you goL lL LogeLher on Lhe lnslde.
When whaL ls really happenlng on Lhe lnslde ls Lremendous emoLlonal cluLLer and chaos LhaL
exlsLs on Lhe level of neurosls. 8uL whaL ls lmporLanL Lo Lhe emoLlonal hoarder who hldes
behlnd Lhe paln of Lhe dleL-menLallLy and 8ody lmage dependency - ls Lhe appearance and

www.scoLLabel.com
1S0

valldaLlon of hav|ng |t a|| together" on the outs|de - so as Lo noL be found ouL on Lhe lnslde -
where emoLlonal chaos and lnner emoLlonal cluLLer conLrols your llfe.
And ln Lhe llLeral sense - hoarders almosL always share Lhese clrcumsLances. - SLressful evenLs
ln llfe, soclal lsolaLlon, poor lmpulse conLrol, and aLLachmenL Lo possesslons. lor emoLlonal
hoardlng, Lhe sLressful evenL ls now all abouL dleL and food conslderaLlons - Lhe soclal lsolaLlon
speaks Lo a 'closeL approach' Lo hldlng dlsordered eaLlng and food lssues, and Lhe aLLachmenL
Lo possesslons - now speaks Lo Lhe 8ody lmage and LreaLlng your body as an ob[ecL" you
possess and are aLLached Lo, as an ob[ecL - lnsLead of as a vessel of your consclousness and
consclous awareness.

LmoLlonal hoardlng as a consequence of Lhe dleL-menLallLy and 8ody lmage uependency -
means you now 'hoard' emoLlons llke gullL, shame, self-re[ecLlon eLc. And you don'L 'replace
and renew Lhem' you [usL keep hoardlng Lhem and addlng Lo Lhe plle LhaL already exlsLs. 1he
self-desLrucLlve naLure of Lhls should be obvlous. l could go on wlLh oLher obvlous comparlsons
Lo Lhe psychologlcal dlsorder of hoardlng - buL l wanL Lo sLay wlLhln Lhe realm of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy and body-lmage dependency and Lhe ramlflcaLlons Lhey produce.

ln Lhe conLlnulng parLs of Lhls arLlcle serles l wlll presenL 'common' personallLy Lypes who have
dlsordered eaLlng lssues - and you can declde for yourself lf any of Lhem seem famlllar."

MeanLlme lf any of Lhls already seems Loo famlllar l suggesL you lnvesL ln boLh my pro[ecLs,
"Iood Issues and ou-I|na||y Iac|ng our hantom Menace" - and for Lhose focused on Lhe
perfecL body - "1he Cther S|de of the M|rror - Lxam|n|ng 8ody Image Dependency D|sorder |n
the I|tness Industry."

www.scoLLabel.com
1S1

1he D|et-Menta||ty and D|sordered Lat|ng and I|tness art 2

1he facL ls people already prone Lo food lssues are aLLracLed Lo Lhe flLness/dleL arena and
especlally Lo compeLlLlon. lL becomes a way Lo lgnore and deny Lhe poLenLlal food lssues. 8uL
also lL becomes a way Lo falsely belleve you are dolng someLhlng abouL Lhem. 1hls ls Lhe mosL
dangerous klnd of self-decepLlon. ?ou geL aLLracLed Lo Lhe self-denlal and Lhe reglmenLaLlon of
lL all. lL becomes a raLlonallzaLlon of have Lo" eaL Lhls way - and Lhls ends up relnforclng - even
sLrengLhenlng Lhe food/eaLlng welghL lssues, down Lhe road.
8uL whaL you need Lo reallze ls LhaL you don'L need a cllnlcal dlagnosls of an eaLlng dlsorder Lo
know someLhlng ls wrong wlLh Lhe way you eaL and how you feel abouL food. 8uL any
emoLlonal connecLlon Lo food as frlend or enemy - or boLh - ls a paLh Lo self-desLrucLlon. 1he
problem ls mosL of you deny Lhe problem unLll lL ls Loo laLe Lo galn conLrol of lL. As Lhe saylng
goes, the cha|ns of hab|t are too ||ght to be fe|t, unt|| they are too heavy to be broken."
8uL Lhe aLLracLlon and marrlage of dlsordered eaLlng and body lmage LogeLher, cannoL be
oversLaLed. WhaL ls relevanL and worLh sLresslng rlghL now, ls LhaL underlylng every dlsordered
eaLlng paLLern ls one word - paln." usually people who wrlLe me Lend Lo use words llke,
worry" afrald" scared" - all Lo do wlLh Lhe welghL scale and food. And whaL Lhese people fall
Lo reallze ls LhaL anyth|ng |n your ||fe that has a foundat|on of worry and fear under||n|ng |t -
cannot have a happy end|ng or pos|t|ve resu|t. 1he flrsL Lhlng LhaL musL change ls Lhe mlndseL!
?ou musL rld yourself of a worry-based" relaLlonshlp wlLh your body and wlLh dleL? 8uL whaL
do Lhese people do? 1hey shop around for Lhe nexL dleL" - Lhe nexL nuLrlLlon plan" - and all
Lhls menLallLy wlll ever do ls relnforce Lhe paLLern of dlsordered eaLlng or eaLlng dlsorders. lL's a
prlson no one should llve ln and no one needs Lo. And Lhere are several common personallLy
Lypes who have dlsordered eaLlng lssues. Maybe you can recognlze yourself ln Lhe few
menLloned below. (And Lhls wlll resume ln arL 3 as well)

Wendy Lhe Worrler
WheLher lL's a famlly weddlng Lo aLLend or a work conference wlLh a lunch buffeL - any such
soclal mllleu wlLh food leaves Wendy beslde herself for days wlLh Lhe lssue of how Lo handle
herself" as lf Lhese slLuaLlons were some klnd of rockeL-sclence llfe exam. 1oday ls a work
meeLlng wlLh a company buffeL luncheon. lL's only mornlng and she's already curslng herself
under her breaLh abouL Lhe day ahead and speclflcally abouL food and eaLlng. She woke up
worrled" and ls now [usL fuellng lLs flre. Per dlsordered eaLlng paLLerns are so enLrenched lL

www.scoLLabel.com
1S2

even enLers lnLo whaL she wlll wear. Should she wear Lhe ouLflL wlLh Lhe LlghL belL, so she can
remlnd herself of her dleL, whlle aL Lhe luncheon? Cr, should she wear Lhe ouLflL wlLh Lhe long
[ackeL, because who ls she klddlng, she can'L sLlck Lo her dleL, so maybe she can hlde herself."
Wendy acLually Lhlnks oLhers wlll be able Lo Lell by looklng aL her, LhaL she ls eaLlng exLra aL Lhe
buffeL. She can already plcLure lL.
lL doesn'L even enLer her head LhaL Lhls ls abouL buslness and abouL her [ob - and LhaL people
could really care less how much she eaLs, nor wlll Lhey be lnspecLlng her as such. 8uL Lhls ls how
Wendy Lhe Worrler Lhlnks. She ls also so self-consclous she Lhlnks lf she ls seen eaLlng dleL
food" Lhen people wlll know she ls dleLlng. She would raLher go wlLh Lhe flow and eaL whaL
everyone else eaLs and noL suffer Lhe percelved embarrassmenL of belng dlfferenL when lL
comes Lo commlLmenL Lo her dleL and her welghL conLrol.
She ls noL only worrled now, she ls defeaLed. She feels defeaLed. now she sLarLs ponderlng
wheLher Lo eaL a laLer breakfasL. 1haL wlll Lhrow off her meal Llmlng, buL maybe Lhen she'll be
less hungry aL Lhe meeLlng. So many declslons - all underllned wlLh worry and frlghL: And now
she foresees Lhe whole evenL as success/fallure. lorgeL Lhe work componenL. 1hls ls abouL food
and dleL. She ls noL even Lhere yeL and already ls f|||ed w|th two very conf||ct|ng emot|ons -
gu||t and des|re. And guess whaL? 8oth of them worry her, of course. ueslre ls Lhe mosL
pecullar Lo her. She deslres Lo keep Lo her dleLlng - buL she also deslres Lo lndulge ln Lhe greaL
foods she knows wlll be Lhere. She wottles lf she doesn'L Lry Lhem Lhere, she'll end up
regreLLlng lL and probably blnge-eaL laLer ln Lhe week or even LhaL nlghL. 8uL she ls more or less
now reslgned Lo self-defeaL. Who am l klddlng" she asks herself. LlLher way, she's blown her
dleL, and lL hasn'L even happened yeL excepL ln her mlnd. She knows she wlll eaL more of whaL
she shouldn'L and less of whaL she should. She Lells herself she has no cholce ln Lhe maLLer.
As you can see Wendy Lhe Worrler llves a never endlng baLLle over whaL she eaLs. And her mlnd
doesn'L even connecL LhaL her problem ls noL abouL food and dleLs - lL's a menLal/emoLlonal
problem wlLh a foooJotloo lo wotty. 8uL every day, every meal, she Lhlnks lL's abouL Lhe food
and Lhe calorles. She welghs herself mulLlple Llmes per week. Cf course, Lhls only relnforces Lo
her LhaL she has falled. She feels ashamed LhaL she ls noL good enough" Lo sLlck Lo her dleL.
Se|f-[udgment |s a|ways r|ght there to re|nforce the worry.
And so, Wendy Lhe Worrler llves ln a consLanL sLaLe of worry over whaL she eaLs, whaL she
wanLs Lo eaL, whaL she welghs - and Lhen of course, how she feels abouL herself. As Wendy Lhe
Worrler - she enLers lnLo her baLLle wlLh food and dleL always Lruly expecLlng Lo lose - alLhough
she wlll ofLen cheerlead herself Lo Lhlnk dlfferenLly. She cannoL lmaglne a more empowered
Wendy - a -Wendy Lhe Warrlor" - a person of self-conLrol, self-esLeem, and self-respecL - who

www.scoLLabel.com
1S3

would only concern herself wlLh real-llfe Lhlngs and evenLs. no, Wendy Lhe Worrler ls losL ln her
own mlndseL. She strugg|es because she th|nks strugg||ng |s the so|ut|on - alLhough for years,
lL never has been. And now she strugg|es [ust for the sake of strugg|e. And she even worrles
abouL LhaL -> she sLruggles wlLh Lhe noLlon LhaL she shouldn'L be sLruggllng. And she can'L see
Lhe lrony or Lhe paLhology ln LhaL.
Wendy's dlsordered eaLlng ls a dlrecL resulL of her consLanL worry abouL food, welghL,
mealLlmes. Lvery day she even worrles and sLresses LhaL someLhlng may geL ln Lhe way of her
dleL" and whaL she ls golng Lo eaL and when. So, even when she has a normal" dleL day - she
has worrled over lL so much -lL seldom feels llke a vlcLory. WhaL Wendy forgoL a long, long Llme
ago - ls LhaL eaLlng/food/dleL ls noL a realm LhaL requlres vlcLory." What Wendy the Worr|er
cannot dea| w|th - |s that the rea| and true prob|em |s not on her p|ate - |t's |ns|de herse|f!
Connle Lhe Con-arLlsL
Connle Lhe con-arLlsL ls so good aL decepLlon afLer so many years of dleLlng, Lhe person she
cons Lhe mosL wlLh all her raLlonallzaLlons - ls herself. Per dlsordered eaLlng ls all over Lhe
place. And llke Wendy Lhe Worrler, Connle Lhe Con-ArLlsL, ls noL leadlng her mosL fulfllllng llfe
because of her dlsordered eaLlng paLLerns. And whlle Wendy Lhe Worrler, underllnes her eaLlng
lssues ln Lhe emoLlonal realm - wlLh worry - Conn|e the Con-Art|st - under||nes her d|sordered
eat|ng |n the menta| rea|m - w|th a|| her rat|ona||zat|ons and menta| gymnast|cs. She ls
prollflc ln Lhe con [ob" of her dlsordered eaLlng.
Connle ls good aL buylng lndulgenL foods and clalmlng lL's for Lhe famlly or Lhe klds. She even
keeps some candy ln her desk aL work. See Connle ls noL [usL a con-arLlsL, she's Lhe constant
d|eter. She's been dleLlng for years and years. So she keeps some lndulgenL foods around her
because lL comforLs her Lo do so. And |n her m|nd, every dleLer she knows (and she knows
hundreds of Lhem) wlll Lell you LhaL every so ofLen you need to reward yourse|f when you've
been 'good on your d|et.'
And lL seems Connle knows as much abouL Lhe requlred rewards of a dleL, as she knows abouL
dleLs. And she knows abouL ALL Lhe dleLs! She can Lell you Lhe lns and ouLs of Crnlsh, ALklns,
aleo, whaLever. She's done Lhem all. She's been on a dleL" her whole adulL llfe. And as much
as she has Lrled every slngle dleL LhaL ls popular Lhls year" - she hasn'L qulLe connecLed LhaL
Lwo Lhlngs seldom ever change for her - 1) her welghL loss goal, whlch ls never accompllshed
and 2) her reward foods. ?ep the d|ets came and went and she be||eved and be||eves |n a|| of
them as she does them. ?eL, lf anyLhlng has happened aL all - her welghL has gone up, noL
down. 8uL she also belleves ln her reward foods as well. - so much so, LhaL here come Lhose
menLal gymnasLlcs agaln:

www.scoLLabel.com
1S4

See Connle llkes Lo Lhlnk LhaL as long as she ls 'dleLlng' Lhen she can have her reward foods, of
course. So |f she st|cks to her d|et, she rewards herse|f w|th a treat of reward foods. 8ut when
she doesn't st|ck to her d|et, she a|so rewards herse|f w|th treats, to make herse|f fee| better
- and because she "knows" that |f she cheats th|s way today then th|s w||| for sure re-|gn|te
her comm|tment - next Monday.
Connle also convlnces herself she ls on" Lhe laLesL and greaLesL dleL - buL she allows herself Lo
lnLegraLe only Lhe elemenLs of Lhe dleL LhaL appeal Lo her mosL. She knows enough abouL
nuLrlLlon and calorles afLer all Lhese years of dleLlng LhaL she knows" wlLhln any dleL, whaL
elemenLs she can Lweak Lo her own llklng.
8uL whaL ls mosL lmporLanL for Connle Lhe Con-ArLlsL ls LhaL belng on a d|et" mokes bet feel
speclol. And lL makes her feel speclal ln so many ways - ways where she oLherwlse mlghL noL
feel so speclal. See, unllke Wendy Lhe Worrler, who ls worrled she wlll be found ouL" regardlng
her dleLs and food lssues - for Connle, knowlng all abouL foods, calorles, and Lhe laLesL dleLs ls
someLhlng she can use Lo be currenL ln conversaLlons. Lveryone, especlally women, Lalks abouL
dleLs and welghL loss - Connle ls ln Lhe know" of course - [usL LhaL she has never, ever
succeeded" ln any dleLlng aLLempLs, now golng on 23 years.
See, Connle Lhe Con-ArLlsL ls now so adept at se|f-decept|on |n her d|sordered eat|ng that she
can [ust|fy any food or d|et behav|or. unllke Wendy Lhe Worrler who deslres Lo flL ln - lf
Connle doesn'L wanL Lo eaL someLhlng she'll [usL say lL's noL on my dleL." 8uL lf she does wanL
Lo eaL someLhlng - Lhen she goes back Lo LhaL reward menLallLy, and she Lells herself - slnce
she ls on a dleL, she ls enLlLled Lo a reward cheaL" every once ln a whlle. So, Connle Lhe Con-
ArLlsL has a rat|ona||zat|on for any emot|ona| |mpu|se she has for eat|ng "|n the moment."
And all Lhe whlle she hldes behlnd belng on a dleL" Lo do so. And Connle ls noL upseL LhaL she
never loses welghL. 1o her, Lhls ls a moLlvaLlonal Lhlng - because lL means she'll [usL have Lo
sLay on Lhls dleL a llLLle longer Lhan she anLlclpaLed. 1haL ls of course, unLll Lhe nexL fad dleL
comes around - Lhen she'll convlnce herself Lhls lasL dleL wasn'L really worklng, whlch ls why
she wasn'L loslng welghL - so Lhen she hops on board Lhe nexL one. 1hls ls how she swlLched
from Lhe ALklns uleL, Lo Lhe aleo uleL.
See, for Connle - her se|f-decept|on |s a|| about what she th|nks over what she actua||y does.
As long as she ls on a" dleL - Lhen she raLlonallzes LhaL someday she wlll lose Lhe welghL. 5be
coos betself cooslsteotly tbot 1) tbls oew Jlet ls tbe tlqbt ooe fot bet 2) sbe bos eoooqb
koowleJqe to tweok ooy Jlet sbe ls followloq. AoJ J) tewotJs, cbeots ooJ tteots, Mu51 8
pott of ooy Jlet ooJettokloq, fot o Jlet to wotk. And yeL [usL llke Wendy, no dleL has ever Lruly
worked" - buL she ls [usL noL wllllng Lo face LhaL LruLh.

www.scoLLabel.com
1SS

So, ln Lhe above Lwo examples we see LhaL boLh Wendy and Connle, have dlsordered eaLlng
lssues. 8oLh are unhappy wlLh Lhemselves. 8oLh wlll conLlnue a dleL-menLallLy of fuLlllLy and for
all Lhe wrong reasons. And boLh of Lhem are ouL of balance ln Lhe Lrlangle of awareness. Wendy
ls ouL of balance ln Lhe emoLlonal realm - and Connle ls ouL of balance ln Lhe menLal realm. And
for boLh of Lhem - because of Lhls - Lhey have dlsordered eaLlng lssues LhaL wlll prevenL Lhem
from LvL8 accompllshlng a balanced perspecLlve of food, dleL and Lhelr welghL - ln Lhe
physlcal/behavloral realm.

www.scoLLabel.com
1S6

1he D|et-Menta||ty and D|sordered Lat|ng and I|tness art 3

Many of you have recognlzed yourself ln Lhe prevlous Lwo parLs of Lhls dlscusslon. revlously
Lhe dlscusslon has focused on speclflc personallLy Lypes LhaL have eaLlng dlsorders or
dlsordered eaLlng because of Lhelr menLal/emoLlonal approach Lo dleL and Lhe faulLy reasonlng
behlnd lL. 1hese were d|rect lnfluences Lo Lhelr lssues. 8uL Lhe personallLy Lypes we wlll dlscuss
below have dlsordered eaLlng lssues LhaL are more |nd|rect|y affecLed by dleL - buL more
d|rect|y affecLed by Lhelr lnvolvemenL" ln llLness. AL Lhe cenLer of many lf noL mosL dlsordered
eaLlng paLLerns ls a fracLured body lmage LhaL ls anyLhlng buL healLhy." 8uL Lhe Lypes of
personallLles dlscussed below wlll hlde behlnd Lhe vell of flLness" and Lhe word healLhy" Lo
mask dlsordered eaLlng lssues preclplLaLed by a flLness" focus.
Amy the Lxerc|se Add|ct
Amy Lhe exerclse addlcL wlll Lell anyone who wlll llsLen how much she loves" flLness. She
conslders lL some sorL of calllng, aL leasL on Lhe surface. 8uL beneaLh Lhe surface Lhe real sLory
of 'feot of fot and desLrucLlve body-lmage lnfluences everyLhlng she does under Lhe gulse of
flLness." Amy Lhe exerclse addlcL wlll become a personal Lralner. She wlll geL cerLlfled ln any
form of flLness she Lhlnks wlll burn Lhe mosL calorles. She geLs cerLlfled ln Zumba, Cross-llL,
8ooL-Camps, Splnnlng. She free-lances aL any and all gyms her area Lrylng Lo plck up classes Lo
Leach. 8uL whaL really drlves Amy ls her dlsLorLed body-lmage and her profound feot of fot ot
qololoq ooy welqbt. She con[ures ln her head she ls noL burnlng enough calorles lf she ls noL
Leachlng aL leasL 3 one-hour classes per day, several days per week. 8uL of course Lhls doesn'L
lnclude her own separaLe personal workouL program.
She doesn'L make much money, because she can'L leL herself Lhlnk abouL anyLhlng else Lhan
fllllng her schedule wlLh exerclse. And geLLlng pald Lo do lL, she flgures, makes her a
professlonal. 8uL Amy Lhe exerclse addlcL ls haunLed. She can'L deal wlLh down Llme. She haLes
Lo Lravel because she won'L be Leachlng classes and burnlng calorles. And whaL lf Lhere are no
gyms? Amy's d|sordered eat|ng |s an |nd|rect effect of her exerc|se add|ct|on. When she slLs
down Lo eaL, Lhe flrsL Lhlng she does ls conslder lf she deserves" Lhese calorles or noL? She
calculaLes ln her head wheLher she has already burned Lhe calorles of Lhls meal off Loday, or lf
she wlll be dolng so laLer ln Lhe day. She cannoL slL down Lo eaL wlLhouL conslderlng how she
wlll burn off Lhe calorles Lo be lngesLed. She's close couslns Lo Mary Lhe Measurer" and kaLhy
Lhe CalculaLor."
Pavlng a day free of exerclse scares her Lo deaLh. She doesn'L undersLand a Lhlng abouL Lhe
efflclency of Lhe human meLabollc compensaLlon sysLem. She |s add|cted to exerc|se, not

www.scoLLabel.com
1S7

because of a pass|on for |t, because of a fear of what w||| happen to her body w|thout |t. And
whaL makes Lhe dlsorder worse ls Lhls mlndseL works for a llLLle whlle. 8uL very few people have
Lhe physlologlcal consLlLuLlon Lo over-exerclse for very long. AfLer 2-3 years, Amy's body sLarLs
answerlng back. She sLarLs Lo geL slck a loL - plck up colds, lack energy. Lveryth|ng outs|de of
exerc|s|ng becomes a chore, and she |s now s|ave to |t - as most peop|e are to the|r
add|ct|ons.
Amy's adrenals are shoL and her corLlsol levels are Lhrough Lhe roof. As a resulL, her body sLarLs
holdlng on Lo bodywelghL, even galnlng a few pounds. WorsL she ls galnlng pounds now by her
body answerlng all Lhe punlshmenL of Loo much exerclse - by hoardlng faL and burnlng muscle.
So, now her dread ls comlng Lrue. WlLh all Lhe exerclse, and because of a|| the exerc|se, she |s
even |ook|ng softer than before. And of course because her menLal realm ls so dlsLorLed by her
so-called love of flLness" and her Lrue denlal of 8oJy lmoqe uepeoJeocy ulsotJet - she Lhlnks
Lhe answer ls Lo exerclse even more, even longer. So, she looks for more classes Lo Leach
and/or lengLhens her own workouLs. 8uL worse, she becomes even more conLrolllng over dleL.
She Lells everyone she ls lnLo healLh pracLlces. She'll Lake up veganlsm - or she'll undergo
several cleanses" or [ulce fasLs" Lelllng everyone lL's because she feels so much beLLer afLer.
And of course lL's all a lle. lL's no colncldence LhaL her cleanses" or fasLs" always Lake place
shorLly afLer a perlod of lndlscrlmlnanL eaLlng. Amy's exerclse addlcLlon becomes her undolng.
She can't funct|on w|thout equat|ng eat|ng to burn|ng off everyth|ng she eats by do|ng
vo|umes of exerc|se no normal person would conslder. And of course Lhls precludes her from
leadlng a normal llfe wlLh normal people. And Amy Lhe exerclse addlcL cannoL leL go of Lhls
condlLlon and her dlsordered eaLlng lssues - unLll she sLops lylng Lo herself abouL whaL ls
drlvlng Lhem!

Cathy the Compet|tor
CaLhy Lhe compeLlLor has a loL ln common wlLh Amy Lhe exerclse addlcL. 8uL CaLhy Lhe
compeLlLor has even more faulLy emoLlonal fllLers for prevenLlng her from hurLlng herself. Per
dlsordered eaLlng and eaLlng dlsorder ls a dlrecL resulL of compeLlng ln Lhe llLness/llgure arena.
AfLer monLhs of sLarvlng and overLralnlng Lo reach a very unsusLalnable physlque, CaLhy geLs on
sLage and flnally geLs her 13 mlnuLes of aLLenLlon and valldaLlon. 8uL she confuses va||dat|on
for hard work, w|th va||dat|on and acceptance of her body as |t |s contest day. She comes to
confuse her |dea| unsusta|nab|e peaked-phys|que as her "rea|" phys|que and Lhls beglns a
sorry cascade of evenLs LhaL cause her Lo lose herself Lo Lhe compeLlLor experlence.

www.scoLLabel.com
1S8

AfLer Lhe show, whlch Look monLhs of calorles deprlvaLlon, and Lhen some wlld waLer
manlpulaLlon, CaLhy's body Lrles Lo normallze lLself. And whlle she ls convlnced her sLage
physlque ls her Lrue" physlque - her body ls Lrylng Lo Leach her oLherwlse. ner metabo||sm |s
try|ng to compensate for a|| the |||-effects of the pro|onged d|et and water man|pu|at|on |n
the peak|ng procedure. She galns some welghL. ulsLraughL and frlghLened, food now scares her
because of everyLhlng lL represenLs - loss of conLrol, lack of conLrol, loslng her edge and CMC -
galnlng welghL, and qulckly.
As her body Lrles Lo normallze her appeLlLe lncreases. She can'L seem Lo conLrol her calorles, aL
all, and even when she does she looks worse. 8uL now wlLh Lhe compeLlLor-menLallLy deeply
enLrenched ln her menLally and emoLlonally - she becomes convlnced LhaL she can only sLlck Lo
a healLhy" dleL lf she knows she wlll be compeLlng. ner m|nd seems to |eave out that there |s
noth|ng remote|y hea|thy about contest-prep - so she conLlnues down Lhe same dark paLh.
Cnly Lhls Llme CaLhy Lhe compeLlLor reallzes her body ls flghLlng back. lL's noL surrenderlng faL
nearly so easlly. And her dlsLorLed mlndseL klcks ln and she loses all raLlonal and emoLlonal
fllLerlng sysLems LhaL should proLecL her. She ls wllllng Lo consume drugs, esLrogen-blockers,
Lhyrold, CrowLh hormone, beLa-agonlsLs - anyLhlng LhaL she ls Lold wlll burn Lhe faL" and geL
her back on sLage wlLh her real" (buL acLual unreal) physlque. She becomes wllllng Lo lncrease
Lhe hours spenL exerclslng" alLhough she barely has Lhe energy Lo walk on Lhe Lreadmlll for her
Lwo hours per day, comblned wlLh her dleLlng. CaLhy Lhe compeLlLor can'L even see Lhe pendlng
crash comlng. And her sysLem does lndeed crash. 8uL worse, her dlsordered eaLlng now Lakes
over her llfe, and she can see lL. She doesn't have a sane re|at|onsh|p w|th herse|f anymore,
and not w|th food, and not w|th her phys|que. lor CaLhy Lhe compeLlLor, she wanLs Lo geL back
Lo Lhe days when she really was acLually healLhy and vlbranL - Lhe lnnocenL days" as she calls
Lhem. 8uL her dlsordered eaLlng remlnds her all along Lhe way, whaL she has done Lo herself.

Nancy the Narc|ss|st
nancy Lhe narclsslsL already has Lhe odds sLacked agalnsL her - she [usL can'L see lL because her
lnflaLed sense of self-lmporLance (narclsslsm) bllnds her Lo her own paln. nancy Lhe narclsslsL
wlll suffer Lhe more serlous dlsordered eaLlng paLLerns or eaLlng dlsorder. nancy ls all abouL
appearances." 1herefore she ls also all abouL valldaLlon. And she uses her body Lo accompllsh
Lhls - so worklng ouL ls a componenL parL of her narclsslsm - buL so are her eaLlng lssues. As
Campbell and 1wenge wrlLe ln 1he narclsslsm Lpldemlc" nancy Lhe narclsslsL suffers from a
form of voloetoble ootclsslsm."

www.scoLLabel.com
1S9

Per dlsordered eaLlng or eaLlng dlsorder ls no surprlse aL all really. AfLer all, she can Lle all her
emoLlonal lmpulses of rlghL now" and her self-cenLeredness Lo food or eaLlng. 1herefore, |f
she |s st|ck|ng to her d|et, "|t's a|| about her" - but |f she |s |ndu|g|ng herse|f w|th a food b|nge
|t's st||| "a|| about her" because now |nstead of be|ng about her d|sc|p||ne, |t's about her
|mmed|ate emot|ona| needs. WhaL never changes for nancy Lhe narclsslsL ls her lnLense level
of self-absorpLlon. She cannoL even begln Lo faLhom LhaL her all-encompasslng ego ls
consumlng her - and Lhls becomes reflecLed ln her dlsordered eaLlng hablLs, usually exLremes,
followed by lnLense perlods of dleLlng. Per lssues wlLh eaLlng and wlLh food and wlLh her body
are more lnLense - because Lhey keep her consLanLly lnvolved ln her own lnflaLed sense of self-
lmporLance and her own ego-cenLrlsm. So, she w||| work on her body to get attent|on and
even on her d|et. 8ut on the |ns|de she a|so sabotages these th|ngs, for the very dark reason
that do|ng so w||| keep her |ocked |n an |ntense, but unhea|thy, se|f-focus. And Lhls ls a level of
aLLenLlon she craves and needs.
?ou can Lell nancy Lhe narclsslsL because she abhors crlLlclsm. Per relaLlonshlps are a loL llke
her dleLs and food lssues. She wlll ldeallze someone, and Lhen soon Lurn on Lhem because Lhey
can'L posslbly meeL all Lhe narclsslsLlc aLLenLlon she musL have. She does Lhe same wlLh
coaches, Lralnlng parLners, and dleLs. lL's all you undersLand me beLLer Lhan my lasL
boyfrlend/Lralnlng parLner/coach/dleL" 8ut as soon as she rea||zes the onus |s on her to tru|y
f||| her own empt|ness - she b|ames any and a|| of these externa| forces for where she |s at.
She changes gyms, boyfrlends, coaches, and dleLs frequenLly and ofLen - because none of Lhem
can meeL her needs for aLLenLlon and valldaLlon. noLhlng changes wlLh her, and to combat the
empt|ness and |one||ness, she creates "|ssues" to work on - lssues llke her body and her dleL,
whlch wlll keep her self-absorbed and self-lnvolved. (alLhough she herself ls never Lo blame for
any of lL) lL ls a form of self-punlshmenL LhaL ls hard Lo wlLness. lL's hard Lo wlLness because lL
lacks love.

ersona||ty rof||e
Amy Lhe exerclse addlcL, CaLhy Lhe compeLlLor, and nancy Lhe narclsslsL, could be slsLers - even
clones of each oLher. 1hey more Lhan llkely share a very common background. All of Lhem more
Lhan llkely have experlenced addlcLlon ln Lhelr pasL - elLher Lhelr own - or an lnfluenLlal parenL.
Moreover, Lhey are more Lhan llkely Lhe love-chlld of narclsslsLlc parenLs - or aL leasL one
parenL - whlchever one has Lhe greaLer emoLlonal lmpacL - belng emoLlonally absenL. More
Lhan llkely Lhls parenL had some sorL of addlcLlon as well - workahollc, alcohollc, eLc.

www.scoLLabel.com
160

As ch||dren, they share a s|m||ar background of fee||ng |nv|s|b|e or never va|ued |n and for
themse|ves. 1hey were always a reflecLlon" of whaL Lhese parenLal Lypes wanLed Lhem Lo be.
1herefore, Lhey learned early LhaL aLLenLlon ls lmporLanL. And for a|| of them, perce|ved
attent|on |s confused w|th respect, and more |mportant|y |s confused w|th se|f-nurtur|ng.
So Lhe real game Lhey all play ls LhaL Lhey hlde behlnd soclally accepLable and poslLlve words,
llke healLh" and flLness." 8uL because Lhey are hldlng from Lhelr core lssues - Lroubllng
dlsordered eaLlng and eaLlng dlsorders are llkely consequences - as are severely dlsLorLed body
lmage lssues.
lor more on Lhese Loplcs l suggesL you read my books 1he Cther S|de of the M|rror -
Un|ock|ng the sycho|ogy of 8ody Image Dependency D|sorder" and "8eyond Metabo||sm -
Understand|ng our Modern D|et D||emma."

www.scoLLabel.com
161

Lad|es - Let's 1a|k - Comfort Ioods and A|ter|ng Moods -
Cr "now to Lead ou Not Into 1emptat|on and De||ver ou from our
Cwn Lv||"

1rylng Lo brlng an honesL and empowerlng message Lo ladles ln Lhls lndusLry ls very dlfflculL.
?ou are bombarded wlLh dogma, nonsense, mlslnformaLlon, dlslnformaLlon, sordld facLs, sorLed
facLs, dlsLorLed facLs, lles and damn lles aL every slngle momenL you expose yourself Lo flLness,
dleL or vanlLy lndusLry agendas. Many of you Lhlnk you know beLLer. ?ou don'L. noL a day goes
by where l don'L geL an emall wlLh 1PL LxAC1 same sLory of meLabollc damage wlLh a new
name slgned Lo lL: LxacLly Lhe same. no one wanLs Lo hlre me Lo Lake care of Lhem and use
prevenLaLlve measures Lo prevenL meLabollc damage. 1hey walL Llll Lhey are fully sufferlng lL,
Lhen come Lo me and lllusLraLe Lhelr lndusLry lndocLrlnaLlon - by Lhlnklng l (or someone else)
have some maglc reclpe and 12 weeks program Lo geL Lhem back Lo normal" agaln. l don'L. no
one does! Anyone who says Lhey do ls L?lnC! 8uL lL doesn'L end or sLarL Lhere does lL?
1here ls Lhe day ln, day ouL, baLLle waged ln ladles mlnds over food, eaLlng, dleL, welghL-
conLrol, dress- slze and body-lmage. And lL ls so pronounced LhaL you end up mlxlng up ln your
own heads, whlch facLor ls whlch - whlch elemenL you are baLLllng wlLh rlghL now ln your mlnd.
And what you do not understand you cannot contro| or change. (see my book Co ueeper Lo
Llve 8eLLer")
l wroLe Lhe 8eyond Metabo||sm and hantom Menace books, Lo help ladles undersLand whaL
ls golng on ln Lhelr own heads. 8uL sadly, mosL wlll plck up aleo uleL for Women" or Adrenal
laLlgue" or some oLher lndusLry-Lype book - none of whlch wlll help Lhem undersLand Lhe role
Lhelr own mlnds are playlng ln all of Lhls. And all of Lhese books [usL feed rlghL back ln agaln, Lo
Lhe dleL-menLallLy whlch conLrols and grlps your own mlnds. And as l've been saylng for years,
whaL a Lerrlbly llmlLed way Lhls ls Lo llve - menLally and emoLlonally.
LeL's Lake food for lnsLance and for Lhe momenL leave Lhe bodywelghL and body-lmage
connecLlon Lo lL ouL of Lhe equaLlon. LeL's examlne some of reallLles we are lefL wlLh by dolng
so. 1he flrsL reallLy ls LhaL regardless of whaL you mlghL Lhlnk, food has no mora| va|ue. lf Lhere
ls moral [udgmenL golng on ln you abouL food - well lL's noL comlng from Lhe food, ls lL? 1haL
would be llke saylng your furnlLure has Lhe power Lo make you feel good or bad abouL yourself.
1he LruLh ls, ln all Lhree realms of Lhe Lrlangle of awareness - fooJ ls meoot to eobooce yoot llfe,
oot to tole yoot llfe ooJ cettololy oot to lmptlsoo yoo eltbet. 8uL mosL of you do noL even

www.scoLLabel.com
162

undersLand on whaL level food ls lnfluenclng you - and so lL becomes all one [umbled mess ln
your mlnd. And whaL your mlnd can'L make sense of - lL can'L conLrol or deal wlLh properly
elLher. And Lhls of course leads Lo Lhlngs llke acLlng ouL of emoLlonal lmpulse and Lhen acLually
uslng phrases llke l have no conLrol over Lhe slLuaLlon." 1haL sLaLemenL ls nLvL8 Lrue. LeL's
Lake a look aL comfott fooJs" for lnsLance. Many of you do noL even have a clear and conclse
deflnlLlon of whaL Lhe phrase even means.
?ou Lhlnk of 'comfott fooJs as someLhlng you buy or make and LhaL wlLhln consumpLlon of Lhls
food, someLhlng abouL lL - 'brlngs you' comforL. ?ou Lhlnk LhaL Lhls food has some power
beyond lLs lngredlenLs - Lo comforL you." And Lhls ls classlc 'pro[ecLlon' Lhough lsn'L lL? As Lhe
old expresslon dlcLaLes, p|easure can be bought, comfort must be g|ven." And ln Lhe case of
comforL foods you glve food Lhls maglcal power by 'declarlng' so ln your mlnd. lL only has Lhe
power Lo 'comfott you' because you Lhlnk lL Lo be Lrue.
So leL's Lhlnk abouL your 'rat|ona|' poslLlon on comforL foods shall we? So, you go ouL and buy
LhaL bag of cookles and worshlp every blLe of every one because somehow ln LhaL slngle
momenL, you surrender raLlonallLy Lo emoLlonal lmpulse and allow yourself Lo Lhlnk" - once
agaln - LhaL Lhe momenLs spenL devourlng LhaL bag of cookles - ls golng Lo solve your problems,
- [usL llke Calgon Lakes you away." 8uL whaL you have already confused ls LhaL Lhls ls noL
'Lhlnklng' - lL's unreso|ved 'fee||ng.' 8uL you confuse Lhe Lwo, don'L you?
And ln LhaL momenL, does Lhe glycemlc lndex, or aleo advanLage of any oLher of Lhls dleL-nolse
ln your head even maLLer? no lL doesn'L! Cr worse, you are now rebelllng agalnsL lL wlLh
emoLlonal ouLrage.
So, LhaL bag of cookles or carLon of lce-cream ls golng Lo heal your wounds and ease your
pressures, rlghL? 1haL chocolaLe cake, or Lhe lndusLry sLandard of peanuL buLLer on rlce cakes
(Lhls one really shows your dleL-menLallLy) -> any of Lhese lndulgences are rlghL Lhen and ln Lhe
momenL golng Lo maglcally Jellvet yoo ftom yoot owo evll" rlghL? And lsn'L Lhe acLual verse,
lead me noL lnLo LempLaLlon and dellver me from evll" - buL lnsLead, you choose Lo glve ln Lo
LempLaLlon and somehow Lhe resulL of Lhls ls supposed Lo be poof" - Lhe sLress of your day ls
gone. Isn't th|s the ev|| AND the temptat|on your d|et-m|nd was a|| try|ng to avo|d |n the f|rst
p|ace?! Isn't th|s be|ng |ed r|ght |nto temptat|on and de||ver|ng you r|ght to your own ev|| -
resu|t|ng |n an exper|ence of he||, |nstead of n|rvana?
So, lL becomes 'comfottloq' ln Lhe sense LhaL ln LhaL momenL of 'lmpolse' - for one momenL aL
leasL - CU can be 'Laken care of' by someLhlng else (whlch ls a surrogaLe for someone else,
usually yourself whom you've been avoldlng). And as l explalned ln my books menLloned above,
all of Lhls ls cerLalnly undersLandable" - buL ls lL raLlonal?" Cf course lL ls noL raLlonal. 8uL

www.scoLLabel.com
163

whaL ls worse, ls LhaL relnforclng Lhls behavlor over and over makes your mlnd suscepLlble Lo lL,
over and over, once agaln -> dellverlng you dlrecLly Lo LempLaLlon - Lhe resulL of whlch ls
experlenclng your own evll, ls lL noL?
Cver Llme, you can't even |dent|fy where your own persona||ty stops and your re|at|onsh|p
w|th food and d|et-menta||ty beg|ns. It a|| becomes one g|ant psych|c soup |n your m|nd! 8ead
Lhese lasL Lwo senLences agaln, 10 x's over! And ln your oLher 'raLlonal hours' of readlng abouL
Lhe sclence of Lhls or LhaL dleL agenda, has any of LhaL knowledge ever sLepped ln and
prevenLed you from 'belng led lnLo LempLaLlon and Lhen experlenclng Lhe resulLlng evll?"
l soy oot ooly bos oll tbls Jlet-stoJy, oot stoppeJ lt, lt bos coottlboteJ to lt!
See, Lruly raLlonal people are noL acLlng ln a sLaLe of mlnd - Lhey are conducLlng Lhemselves ln a
sLaLe of belng. So Lhey don'L experlence Lhe lack of conLrol of emoLlonal lmpulse LhaL you have.
1haL ls whaL freedom feels llke. And you can'L flnd LhaL ln yeL anoLher dleL book LhaL ls golng Lo
dlcLaLe Lo you a hundred new do's and don'Ls abouL whaL foods Lo eaL, and whaL foods Lo noL
eaL - and wlLhln LhaL equaLlon, whaL foods Lo [udge yourself by as belng a good or bad"
worLhy or unworLhy" person. Wow, LhaL ls a loL of self-lnduced pressure Lo llve up Lo. l'm
cerLalnly glad l don'L llve Lhls way.
1he LruLh ls someLhlng more obvlous when you are noL under Lhe lnfluence of Lhe dleL-
menLallLy. 1he truth |s that the p|easures we can take |n the cu||nary arts and |ndu|gent food
are meant to be a g|ft, not a curse - not a temptat|on or an ev|| - but certa|n|y not a
subst|tute for fac|ng ||fe e|ther! And Lhls brlngs up anoLher dlsLlncLlon. LaLlng for comforL ls noL
Lhe same as sLress-eaLlng or eaLlng Lo relleve or numb sLress or percelved emoLlonal pressure.
LaLlng Lo relleve sLress ls no dlfferenL Lhan Lhe use of harder drugs by addlcLs for Lhe same
reason. ln facL Lhls klnd of chosen sLress-rellef ls referred Lo as Lhe sofL addlcLlons." 8uL when
you eaL, noL Lo 'feel good' - buL Lo longer feel bad, or Lo avold deallng wlLh bad feellngs - Lhls ls
no dlfferenL Lhan hard escape drugs and alcohol used for Lhe same reasons - lL's [usL a dlfferenL
vehlcle. 8uL Lhe resulLs wlll be Lhe same. When you choose Lo numb bad feellngs, or numb
feellngs ln general Lo avold or noL deal wlLh Lhem 'rlghL now' - you become furLher and furLher
allenaLed from who you acLually are. ?ou Lry Lo numb ouL whaL you fear, wlLh food - buL LhaL
can never work because you can never run from your own mlnd. And once agaln, has any dleL-
book you've ever read, or any dleL you've ever Lrled - do elLher even remoLely address Lhese
lssues wlLhln" you? Cf course noL!
ou keep |ook|ng |n the wrong p|ace for the wrong answers to the wrong quest|ons!

www.scoLLabel.com
164

So, whlle Lhe comfott foods, can brlng back Lhe good feellngs," even spark good memorles of
you belng Laken care of - sLress-eaLlng on Lhe oLher hand ls eaLlng Lo block ouL or numb ouL
real or poLenLlal 'bad feellngs.' And yeL boLh cholces are unhealLhy and resulL from your formed
emoLlonal aLLachmenL Lo food and eaLlng and dleL. 1hese are Lhe exacL paLh of leoJloq yoo
loto temptotloo, so yoo wlll oo Joobt expetleoce yoot owo evll. And how can you noL see LhaL
dleLs, dleL books, and dleL-knowledge, don'L lead you ouL of LhaL emoLlonal aLLachmenL - buL
Lhey keep rlghL on feedlng lL!
1he comforL you 'feel' (noL Lhlnk) food brlngs you cannoL lasL. Pow can lL? lL's noL bullL on
anyLhlng lasLlng ls lL? lL's bullL and susLalned on emoLlonal lmpulse - unLll LhaL lmpulse
becomes hablLual. 1hen, you are [usL llke any oLher addlcL - needlng Lhe nexL flx" - noL Lo feel
hlgh any more, buL [usL Lo feel some verslon of a new normal" - whlch ls anyLhlng buL normal.
-> 1hls ls ln facL 'de||very to ev||, v|a temptat|on' and lL all sLarLs by formlng emoLlonal
aLLachmenLs Lo food-dleL-body-welghL and body-lmage consclousness.
1he comfort you rea||y seek |s a re||ef from a|| of th|s nonsense. WhaL you really seek ls a
comforLed or comforLable soul - and dellvery Lo LhaL lsn'L cheap, lL lsn'L qulck, lL lsn'L lnsLanL, lL
doesn'L exlsL ln Lhe LasLe buds of your mouLh or ln Lhe conLenLs of your sLomach - and lL
cerLalnly doesn'L exlsL ln some maglcal exacL perfecLly conLrolled macro-proporLlons of your
dleL. uo you sLlll Lhlnk lL somehow can exlsL Lhere? uo you really Lhlnk, and more lmporLanLly,
do you really 'feel' your mandaLe ln llfe ls Lo become a dleLary roboL Zomble, who wlll
auLomaLlcally choose broccoll over brownles? Cr lsn'L Lhls parL of Lhe problem, LhaL leads you
lnLo LempLaLlon, and Lhen experlenclng your own evll and hell?
It's your own formed emot|ona| attachments that are at |ssue. 1he more you keep feedlng
yourself Lhe nonsense LhaL Lhls ls abouL nuLrlLlon knowledge and dleLs - Lhe longer you wlll
suffer and Lhe deeper wlll be Lhe hole you flnd yourself ln. lL has noLhlng Lo do wlLh good or bad
foods, buL maklng cholces based on whaL you know wlll have you noL [usL, ln Lhe momenL
'feellng' beLLer - buL leLLlng go of all Lhls emoLlonal aLLachmenL, so LhaL Lhere are no such
momenLs - and you are lnsLead all Lhe Llme belng" beLLer. 1haL ls whaL you acLually seek. And
when you sLarL acLlng on Lhls, Lhese unconLrollable phanLom momenLs of lmpulse Lo feel
beLLer or numb ouL rlghL now" - Lhey all dlsappear. So, Lhe Lhlnklng needs Lo be less abouL food
and more abouL awareness.
lf lL comes down Lo peace or plzza - choose peace - lf lL comes down Lo calm or cake, choose
calm - Lhese are Lhe sLaLes of mlnd you are afLer anyway! ?ou need Lo Lurn Lo yourself and Lune
lnLo yourself when you are sad, depressed, anxlous, or empLy. 1urn Lo food when you are
hungry, or when lL ls meal Llme, or when you can Lruly en[oy an lndulgence wlLhouL Lhe

www.scoLLabel.com
16S

accompanylng punlshlng emoLlonal aLLachmenLs. 8uL make Lhe dlsLlncLlon -> when |t |s your
emot|ona| bra|n that hungers and needs sooth|ng - seek the peace and ca|m and sooth|ng,
WI1nIN yourse|f - LhaL ls whaL leads you away from LempLaLlon, and dellvers you from your
own evll."
Seek and flnd Lhe peace and calm energy wlLhln yourself and sLop pro[ecLlng lL onLo food ->
1haL pro[ecLlon wlll never comforL you, lL wlll always LormenL you - and wlll keep you baLhlng ln
Lhe lle, LhaL a dleL" ls a soluLlon for non-dleL lssues. Pow you eaL, and why you eaL - noL whaL
you eaL, ls Lhe answer of leadlng you noL lnLo LempLaLlon, and dellverlng you from evll - and
your own hell."
Amen - women!

www.scoLLabel.com
166

Suggested kead|ngs
-
- Abel, ScoLL 8eyond Metabo||sm: Understand|ng our Modern D|et D||emma, 2010

- Abel, ScoLL Iood Issues and ou: I|na||y Iac|ng our hantom Menace, 2011

- Albers, Susan Lat, Dr|nk and 8e M|ndfu|: now to Lnd our Strugg|e w|th M|nd|ess
Lat|ng and Start Savor|ng Iood w|th Intent|on and Ioy, 2009

- Albers, S. M|ndfu| Lat|ng 101: A Gu|de to nea|thy Lat|ng |n Co||ege and 8eyond, 2006

- AnLonlo, C. eL al, A naLural dleL versus modern WesLern dleLs? A new approach Lo
prevenL well-belng syndromes," D|gest|ve D|seases and Sc|ences, 2003

- 8arkellng, 8. eL al, LaLlng 8ehavlor ln Cbese and normal WelghL 11 yrs. Cld Chlldren,"
Internat|ona| Iourna| of Cbes|ty and ke|ated Metabo||c D|sorders, 1992

- 8oon, 8. eL al, lronlc processes ln Lhe eaLlng behavlor of resLralned eaLers," 8r|t|sh
Iourna| of nea|th sycho|ogy, 2002

- 8ooLh, u.A. 1he sycho|ogy of Nutr|t|on, 1994

- 8ullk, C.M. 1he relaLlon beLween eaLlng dlsorders and componenLs of perfecLlonlsm,"
Amer|can Iourna| of sych|atry, 2003

- 8ullk, C.M. Why ou 8|nge Lat and now to Stop, 2009

- Campbell, 1. Colln 1he Ch|na Study: Start||ng Imp||cat|ons for D|et, We|ght-Loss and
Long-1erm nea|th, 2006

- Cloud, ur. Penry 8oundar|es, 2002

- Clower, ur. W. 1he Irench Don't D|et |an, 2006

- CoLLone, . ConsummaLory, anxleLy-relaLed and meLabollc adapLaLlons ln female raLs
wlLh alLernaLlng access Lo preferred food," sychoneuroendocr|no|ogy, 2009

www.scoLLabel.com
167

- CoLLone, . Cplold dependenL anLlclpaLory negaLlve conLrasL and blnge-llke eaLlng ln
raLs wlLh llmlLed access Lo hlghly preferred food," Neuropsychopharmaco|ogy, 2008

- uoLlnga, 8 SLudy Llnks yo-yo dleLlng Lo addlcLlon," News and Wor|d keport on||ne,
2010

- lryer, S. eL al, SLress, coplng and dlsLurbed eaLlng aLLlLudes ln Leenage glrls,"
Internat|ona| Iourna| of Lat|ng D|sorders, 1997.

- Cermer, C.k. 1he M|ndfu| ath to Se|f-Compass|on: Iree|ng ourse|f from Destruct|ve
1houghts and Lmot|ons, 2009

- Coss, ken Lnd|ng Cvereat|ng - 1he Compass|onate M|nd Gu|de, 2010

- CllberL, ., ed. Compass|on: Conceptua||zat|ons, kesearch and Use |n sychotherapy,
2003

- Cold, Sunny Sea Iood: 1he good g|r|'s gu|de: now to Stop Us|ng Iood to Contro| our
Iee||ngs, 2011

- Poebel, 8C. 8raln neuroLransmlLLers ln food and drug reward" Amer|can Iourna| of
C||n|ca| Nutr|t|on 1993

- Popklns, !. Cu|t|vat|ng Compass|on: A 8uddh|st erspect|ve, 2001

- !anLz, Cregory L. nope, ne|p and nea||ng for Lat|ng D|sorders, 2010

- keys, A.!. 1he 8|o|ogy of numan Starvat|on, 1930

- Lelwlca, Mlchelle M. 1he ke||g|on of 1h|nness: Sat|sfy|ng the Sp|r|tua| nungers 8eh|nd
Women's Cbsess|on w|th Iood and We|ght, 2010

- McCarLy, 1ennle Shades of nope: A rogram to Stop D|et|ng and Start L|v|ng, 2012

- neumark-SzLalner, u. eL al, Are famlly meal paLLerns assoclaLed wlLh dlsordered eaLlng
behavlors among adolescenLs?" Iourna| of Ado|escent nea|th, 2004

www.scoLLabel.com
168

- 8hodes, ConsLance L|fe Ins|de the 1h|n Cage: A ersona| Look |n the n|dden Wor|d of
the Chron|c D|eter, 2003

- Saunders, 8. Crazlng" A Plgh-8lsk 8ehavlor" Cbes|ty Surgery, 2004

- Sassaroll, S., eL al, 1he role of sLress ln Lhe assoclaLlon beLween low self-esLeem,
perfecLlonlsm, and worry, and eaLlng dlsorders," Internat|ona| Iourna| of Lat|ng
D|sorders, 2003

- Slegel, u.!. 1he M|ndfu| 8ra|n: kef|ect|on and Attunement |n the Cu|t|vat|on of We||-
8e|ng, 2007

- Smalley, ur. Cary 1he Amaz|ng Connect|on 8etween Iood and Love, 2001

- Sonders, 8. Lat|ng D|sorders: When Iood 1urns Aga|nst ou, 1993

- 1aLe, klmberly uavldson 8reak|ng the Cover G|r| Mask: 1oss Cut 1ox|c 1houghts, 2009

Anti Diet Approach

Transféré par

Informations du document

Copyright

Formats disponibles

Partager ce document

Partager ou intégrer le document

Options de partage

Avez-vous trouvé ce document utile ?

Ce contenu est-il inapproprié ?

Droits d'auteur :

Formats disponibles

Anti Diet Approach

Transféré par

Droits d'auteur :

Formats disponibles

1he Ant|-D|et Approach

Vous aimerez peut-être aussi