Second Grade

Writing Benchmark 3
Narrative Writing ~Guided Teaching Lessons
A Narrative is a broad term for autobiographical or fictional writing. Like first graders,
second grade students are asked to relate a single experience that happened to them in a brief
period of time, often minutes or hours. The focus is on recreating the incident as it occurred by
relaying the events in chronological order and bringing them to life with vivid details. These
guided teaching lessons will take the students through a variety of revision strategies to add
details and make their narratives more lively.
2
nd
Writing Application 2.1 Write brief narrative based on their experiences:
a. Move through a logical sequence of events.
b. Describe the setting, characters, obects, and events in detail.
Table of Contents for Narrative Guided Teaching Lessons
Treasures !esources and "rofessional #utobiographical books "age $%
The &asics of 'arrative (riting "age $)
The (riting "rocess for Teaching 'arratives "age $*
Teacher Directions for Guided Teaching Page 5
+xemplary Model, # -leepless 'ight "age $.
+xemplary Models of /acaville -tudent (riting with teacher notes "age 0%
1onducting a Topic -earch "age 0*
*
nd
2rade "ractice 'arrative "rompt "age 03
"lanning "age for 'arrative (riting "age 04
Leads "age 0$
Dawn to Dusk -tories "age 00
#&1 !evision 5 Teacher Directions "age 06
#&1 !evisions +xample, My -ummer /acation "age 07
#&1 !evision "ractice "apers with suggested responses "age 0.
#dding &ody Language to -how 8eelings "age 6*
8eelings9(e #ll :ave Them, 8aces "age 6$
#dding 8eelings, 3 student papers with suggested responses "age 60
-trong #ction /erbs (ord List "age 67
1hanging to #ction /erbs, -tudent paper with suggested responses "age 6.
Time 1onnectors (ord List "age 7)
#dverbs (ord List "age 7*
#dding Time 1onnectors and #dverbs, -tudent paper with suggested responses "age 73
!eplacing ;-aid< (ord List "age 7$
#dding Time 1onnectors, #dverbs, and -aid !eplacements with sugg. responses "age 70
#dding Dialogue "age 77
#&1 !evision "ractice Lesson with suggested responses "age 7.
1ontent !evision 1hecklist "age .)
+diting 1hecklist "age .*
*
nd
2rade 'arrative !ubric "age .3
!This entire docu"ent is available electronicall# in the 2
nd
Grade Docu"ent $oc%er.
49
2
nd
Grade &esources in Treasures
!'nit 1
T( Pate )D 5 2ives a broad overview= does not teach Magnify the Moment
T( Page 2*+ 5 Teaches sequencing and strong topic sentences to help write a "ersonal 'arrative
2*P, 2*- 5 Teaches strong topic sentences and description to help write a "ersonal 'arrative
1D,2. 5 -tudents write their own "ersonal 'arrative
/ 5 -tudents revise and publish their own "ersonal 'arrative
'nit
(riting 8lip 1hart "age 3% >T+ "age 43*?@
!'nit 0
T( Page )D 5 2ives a broad overview= does not teach Magnify the Moment
T( Page *+ 5 Teaches sequencing to help write a "ersonal 'arrative
T( Page * - 5 Teaches writing in the 1
st
person, sequencing, and organization to help write a
"ersonal 'arrative
T( Pages )D,01.01 5 -tudents write their own "ersonal 'arrative
T( Page 01/ 5 -tudents revise and publish their own "ersonal 'arrative
ABur benchmark requires a narrative that focuses on one incident= therefore, magnify the moment is
essential. Cnsert Narrative Strategies >i.e. action, dialogue, body language to show feelings,
suspense humor, surprise, etc.@ into your Treasures instruction or use the VUSD Narratie
Teaching !essons"
Narrative Strategies are what differentiates a descriptive piece of writing from a narrative story.
Autobiographical Incidents by Professional Writers
Read these books as examples of Narrative Writing
8ireflies 5 Dulie &rinckloe >!eading !ainbow &ook@
-ome &irthday 5 "atricia "olacco
Encle /ovaFs Tree 5 "atricia "olacco
Thundercake 5 "atricia "olacco
The &ee Tree 5 "atricia "olacco
1hicken -unday 5 "atricia "olacco
Bwl Moon 5 Dane Golen
-torm in the 'ight 5 Mary -tolH
The (ednesday -urprise 5 +ve &unting
50
The Basics of Narrative Writing
An autobiographical /ncident or Personal 2arrative relates an incident that happened
to the writer. The incident occurred in a short time interval, perhaps only minutes or hours. The
narrative recreates what happened and includes the significance of the incident both at the time and
since.
An effective narrative needs the follo3ing:
A beginning 4lead 5 to
Icapture the readerFs interest
IsetIup the situation and orient the reader
A "iddle to present the scene in detail in chronological order
'se 6sho3 not tell7 4also called 6"agnif# the "o"ent75 to slo3 the pace and elaborate
%e# "o"ents of the incident.
An engaging stor# 3ill include so"e of the follo3ing techni8ues,
Inaming >specific names of people, obects, quantities, numbers@
Iimportant visual details of the scene, obects, people >siHe, color, shape, dress@
Isensory details >sounds, smells, tastes@
Isignificant bits of dialogue
Iinterior monologue >writerFs inner thoughts@
Ifeelings >often revealed through body language such as shivering, cringing, smiling, etc.@
Isuspense or tension
Isurprise
Ihumor or sarcasm
Icomparisons >simile, metaphor, other figurative language@
A thoughtful stor# 3ill describe re"e"bered feelings9 understandings9 reflections and
insights at the ti"e.
An ending to evaluate the significance no3
ILooking back9, 'ow C realiHe9, -till to this day9., C learned9.
51
Writing Process for Teaching
Narratives
). Models 5 -tudying exemplary writing
>:ighlight the writing techniques and organiHation
"rofessional examples >TD $%@
-tudent examples >"ages $.I0%, TD $3@
*. Topic -earch I choosing and narrowing to one specific time >"age 0*, TD $$@
>not, all day, a week, a whole vacation or summer 9@
My bestJworst time99. The first time C99 CFll always remember when C9..
"rompt >"age 03, TD $$@

3. "lanning K remembering
!emind students of a time in their past and let them ot notes, talk to a partner, or draw briefly
to recall details. #lways ask, ;(hy is this important enough to write aboutL<
"lanning page graphic organiHer to og memory >"age 04, TD $0@
4. Drafting 5 taking the plunge
DoubleIspacing makes revision easierM >TD $0@
$. !evising 5 turning a mediocre, flat piece into vibrant writingM
+ngaging leads >"age 0$, TD $0@
#voiding dawn to dusk stories >"age 00, TD $0@
#&1 revision, #sk ;(hat elseL< >"age 06I63, TD $6@
#dding body language to show feelings >"age 64I66, TD $6I$7@
(ord 1hoices
I#dd strong action verbs >"ages 67I7%, TD $7@
I#dd time connectors and adverbs >"ages 7)I74, TD $7@
I!eplace ;said< >"ages 7$I76, TD $7@
Dialogue >significant bits of conversation@ >"age 77, TD $.@
!evision "ractice >"ages 7.I.%, TD $.@
# good ending >TD $.@
1ontent !evision 1hecklist >"age .), TD $.@
0. +diting
1hecklist >"age .*, TD $.@
6. "ublishing
52
gifts on stationery >TD $.@
"age K student page numbers, TD K Teacher Directions for 2uided Lessons page numbers $3I$7
53
Teacher irections for Guided Teaching
The following teacher directions will take you through the steps of the (riting "rocess for
Teaching 'arratives >-ee p. $*@. Teacher notes are provided for each miniIlesson. The lessons
will help prepare the students to write the onIdemand writing benchmark narrative.
!his arro" symbol and comic sans font indicate "ords you might say to students#
). :odel papers as exa"ples.
While you begin thinking of a specific incident from your o"n life you "ish to
"rite about$ let%s look at several examples of autobiographical incidents and see
ho" professional and &
nd
grade "riters made them interesting#
I!ead some of the professional books listed on p. 51 and discuss the stories and the writing
techniques.
I"roect or make copies of 6A ;leepless 2ight7 on p. 5). !ead the story out loud. Talk about
the strong lead that gets us interested, the events in chronological order, the specific and vivid
details, the feeling showed by the wildly beating heart, the use of adverbs and action verbs, and
the humorous ending.
I"roect or make copies of 62e3 Pla#"ate< and 6:# <irst Pon#7 on p. =1. Ese the teacher
notes on p. =1 to lead a discussion focused on the writing techniques that make each story
effective. #gain you will find strong leads, events in chronological order, specific, vivid details,
body language to show feelings, strong word choices, dialogue, and good endings.
Modeling is crucial instruction in showing students how to write effective autobiographical
incidents. -tudents learn to write by mimicking what they have heard and read, so the more
modeling the better.
3. Topic ;earch.
To help students find a topic you must awaken their memories of specific times in their lives that
are worth writing about. Gou may choose to conduct a broad topic search, allowing each student
to find an individual topic, or you may narrow the topic and ask all students to write on the same
general topic. The list on 6+onducting a Topic ;earch7 on p. =2 may provide useful starting
points. Gou may want to make student copies, but you can probably ust list or read a few ideas
to the students.
Ct may be easier to narro3 the topic at least somewhat, but if you choose something like ;my
first cooking experiment< be prepared with an alternative for a few students who claim they have
never tried to cook.
"repare your own topic search to model your thinking about various topics. ;Think #loud< your
process for students to hear. Tell various ideas you have and how you narrow the choices down
to the topic youFve decided to write about today.
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Topic ;earch Thin% Aloud! !oday I have several ideas for a story that happened
to me that I remember "ell# I "as thinking of "riting about the funny time I
accidentally "ore t"o different shoes to school$ or maybe the embarrassing time
"hen my !hanksgiving turkey took four extra hours to cook and everyone "as
starving 'ut the story I%m really eager to "rite today is an adventure "ith a
charming chipmunk that (ust happened last "eek# We "ere staying at a friend%s
cabin in the mountains# We put out sunflo"er seeds and peanuts for the
chipmunks$ hoping to tame them# )ach day they gre" less afraid until on the third
morning one chipmunk "alked right up my husband%s leg$ sat on his lap$ looked
deeply into his eyes$ and decided to continue up his chest to perch on his shoulder#
I held my breath as he climbed up to Richard%s bald spot and sat calmly for at least
a minute (ust looking at all of us# I guess "e "ere friends# Since "e didn%t have the
camera ready$ I%m saving the "onderful moment in a *"ord+ photo#
Thin%ing ahead: Bnce the students identify the incident they plan to write, ask them to also
think about why the incident is significant. (hy do they still remember itL (hy did it matter
thenL (hy does it still matterL
# particularly effective assignment is to plan the narrative as a gift. Bffer the students
stationery appropriate for 1hristmas, /alentineFs Day, MotherFs or 8atherFs Day, etc. to inspire
their writing. -tudents should write for an adult as they will be more responsive to the gift and
will more likely cherish it, rather than a friend or other young person who may ust toss it away.
#gain, for more details see p. =2.
Practice pro"pt: The 6practice pro"pt7 p. = is written similar to the onIdemand benchmark
prompt. Gou may choose to use this prompt >or substitute a different topic if you wish@ instead
of a more openIended topic search. The term ;onIdemand< means the students will be given a
topic and they will have to write a narrative in one sitting. :owever, for the practice learning
prompt, they will have a number of class sessions to plan, draft, revise, edit and prepare a final
copy. 'arrative writing can often be written as a gift. The lure of writing the final copy on
stationery provides additional incentive to thoroughly revise and, in the end, edit the piece. The
following chart contains ideas for specific topics and why the incidents are worth remembering.
/deas for a :other>s Da# gift Wh# / 3ant to re"e"ber
Iwhen 2randma taught me to make pancakes
Iwhen C went on a treasure hunt with my aunt
Iwhen my mom helped me with my science
proect
Iwhen my mom took me out to lunch on my
birthday
A1hoose any adult woman who has been
important in the childFs life.
I-he shared her secret recipe with me.
IC still save the feathers we collected
I-he gave me confidence.
IC had my mother all to myself.
55
3. Planning Page for 2arrative Writing
Make student copies of the 6Planning Page7 on p. =0. (hile their idea is still fresh, ask student
to quickly fill out the planning page. 1omplete sentences are not necessary. Dust ot a few words
as we want to save their energy for the draft. 'umber 0 is important so the narrative has a
purpose. Bften the last sentence evaluates the significance now.
Teacher 2ote: Do a Think #loud as you fill in the "lanning "age with ust a few wordsI not
sentences I based on your Topic -earch Think #loud for N3 above.
!ead the (riting :ints in the box.
Writing "ints
!ell the events in the order they happened#
Add details to help the reader *see+ "hat happened#
Sho" ho" you felt about "hat happened#
)xplain "hy the experience "as important to you then and no"#
4. ;trong $eads
&efore students begin their draft, teach a lesson on strong leads. Make student copies or proect
6$eads7 on p. =5. These are examples of various lead for autobiographical incidents that
students could try.
No" "rite t"o different leads for your o"n story# ,ave fun# Pick your favorite
to be the first sentence# If you still like the other lead$ you can probably use it
some"here else in your "riting#
#s the students compose their leads, circulate and read aloud some of the best so they hear good
examplesM Br have each student read their best lead at the end of the writing time to build
excitement.
$. Da3n to Dus% ;tories
Cf your students have trouble focusing on the story and instead tend to list irrelevant details,
proect or make copies of 6Da3n to Dus% ;tories7 on p. ==. !ead the stories aloud quickly.
!ead the directions at the bottom of the page. Cf you agree the stories are boring, try to find the
most interesting part of the action in each story where the writer could develop a story.
Cf many of your students write this way, they need to find a focus for a story and begin again
with a strong lead. :opefully, you can skip this lesson because you modeled and taught leads
and planned.
0. Writing the first draft
'ow itFs time for students to write their story beginning with their lead. #s you circulate, remind
them to doubleIspace so revising will be easier.
56
No" it%s time to "rite your story in the order it happened# 'egin "ith your best
lead# Put in enough detail for the reader to *see+ "hat happened# Sho" ho" you
felt# )nd "ith "hy the experience mattered to you# Remember to double-space#
6. A?+ &evision
!ead 6A?+ &evision @ Teacher Directions7 on p. =*. -tudy 6:# ;u""er Aacation< on
p. 21 and refer back to the #&1 revision notes to understand the process. The teacher marks
letters on the student writing. Bn another page or at the bottom, the teacher writes a question or
note about that spot in the story. The student can then use that question or note to revise the
story. This process allows the teacher to give specific feedback to every student when there is
not time to conference with each student. Ct also allows the teacher to give as much or as little
feedback as is appropriate for a particular individual. The teacher can target the feedback for
certain kinds of revision, such as adding sensory details, elaborating on the action, or word
choice.
"roect 6:# ;u""er Aacation7 to teach #&1 !evision.
.et%s read this student draft of an autobiographical incident# /o you see the
letter A0 'elo" is a 1uestion A# Who "ere you "ith0 .et%s look at letters ' and 2
also# No" let%s read the story# Were all the 1uestions addressed in the revised
version0 Is the revised story more interesting0 What do you think of the ending0
Cf your students need more practice seeing revision, proect or make student copies of 6A?+
&evision Practice7 on p. =B. Together add #&1 !evision questions and compose lines to add to
the stories. Ct may be easiest to write student responses on a transparency of p. =B. !efer to the
Teacher 'otes on pp. =),* for possible revision ideas that you can proect.
!ead your student papers and make several #&1 !evision questions or comments on each. #sk
a few questions to help them elaborate their story. This is sometimes called ;-how not tell< or
;Magnify the Moment< writing. #llow time for students to respond to each question. Gou may
want to leave room for students to write beside your questions. -ometimes there is room for
students to write directly on their original drafts if they doubleIspaced, but often if they are
adding whole sentences itFs better if they ust write the letter on a new page and put what they
want to add there. The additions can be added into their final copy later by matching the letters.
7. Adding ?od# $anguage to ;ho3 <eelings
"roect or make copies front and back of 6Adding ?od# $anguage to ;ho3 <eelings< and
6<eelingsCWe All Dave The"7 on pp. *0,*5. 2o through them with students. Together
compose some simple feeling statements using body language. :ere are a few examples,
Dohn is enthusiastic. :is eyes sparkle and he canFt stop talking.
#mber was frustrated. -he frowned and wrinkled up her math paper.
1hristine was distracted. :er eyes wandered around the room without focusing on
anything.
57
"roect or make copies of 6Adding <eelings7 on p. *=. Together decide how to add feelings
and write them using body language. Ct may be easiest to write student ideas on a transparency
of p. 2*. Cf necessary, refer to the Teacher notes on p. ** for ideas or proect the page.
3ind at least one place in your draft "here you can add body language to sho"
feelings# Add the sentence if there is room$ or (ust "rite a letter and "rite the
sentence beside the letter on another page# 4ou can add it to your final copy later#
.. Action Aerbs9 Ti"e +onnectors9 Adverbs9 &eplacing 6;aid7 and adding Dialogue
1opy 6;trong Action Aerbs7 on p. *B, 6Ti"e +onnectors7 on p. B1, 6Adverbs7 on p. B2, and
6&eplacing ;aid7 on p. B5 front and back. -tudents should keep these along with the pages on
feelings as reference pages they will refer to often. >"aper saver, "rint )% stapled sets for the
class to share.@
Take time to read through the words together as you introduce each page, pronouncing them and
discussing what they mean. "oint them out when they show up in other written material.
:ini,lesson on Action Aerbs: "roect or make copies of 6+hanging to Action Aerbs7 on p.
*). Teach the miniIlesson on replacing dull verbs with strong action verbs. The easiest may be
to write student ideas on a transparency of the page. !efer to the suggested improvements on the
teacher notes on p. B1 or proect the page.
.et%s "ork together to think of strong action verbs to replace some of the dull
verbs in this story# 4ou can use your list of strong action verbs or think of other
action verbs that might fit# Sometimes "e might "ant to change the sentence$ too#
With a highlighter 5or underline or circle6$ mark dull verbs on your o"n draft#
Write strong action verbs above them# 4ou may use your lists or think of other
strong verbs#
:ini,lesson on Ti"e +onnectors and Adverbs: "roect or make copies of 6Adding Ti"e
+onnectors and Adverbs7 on p. B. Teach the miniIlesson on adding time connectors and
adverbs, which often replace ;so< or ;then< at the beginning of sentences. The easiest may be to
write student ideas on a transparency of the page. !efer to the suggested improvements on the
teacher notes on p. B0 or proect the page for students to make choices.
.et%s "ork together to add time connectors and adverbs# !hey often go at the
beginning of sentences instead of *so+ or *then#+ 4ou can use your lists or think of
other time connectors and adverbs 5"ords that end in 7ly6#
With a highlighter 5or underline or circle6$ mark *so+ or *then+ on your o"n draft#
2hange them to time connectors or adverbs# 4ou may use your lists or think of
other strong "ords#
58
:ini,lesson on &eplacing 6;aid7: "roect or make copies of 6Adding Ti"e +onnectors9
Adverbs9 and ;aid &eplace"ents7 for The Deep +nd on p. B=. Teach the miniIlesson on
replacing said. The easiest may be to write student ideas on a transparency of the page. !efer to
the suggested replacements on the teacher notes on p. B* or proect the page for students to make
choices.
.et%s "ork together to replace *said+ and also add time connectors and adverbs#
4ou can use "ords from your lists or other "ords you think of#
:ini,lesson on Dialogue: "roect or make copies of 6Dialogue7 on p. BB. !ead the original
piece. Then read the same piece with dialogue added. 'otice the ;said< replacements from the
list and how they change the meaning. 'otice the strong beginning and humorous ending.
Discuss the impact of adding dialogue which makes the story much stronger and more interesting
to read.
With the highlighter$ mark any place that you can add dialogue to your o"n
draft# Write a letter in those places# 8n another page "rite the letter and "rite
the dialogue you "ant to add# 9se your list of "ords to replace *said#+ 8n your
final copy you "ill insert the dialogue#
)%. A?+ &evision Practice
Make copies of the 6A?+ &evision Practice $esson7 on p. B). !ead the story together along
with the #I2 revision suggestions. &y now students should be able to rewrite the story making
the revisions suggested. Teacher notes for revision are provided on p. )1. -tudents can pass
their revised papers to one or two other students so they can see how different their revisions are.
Br the teacher can read a few of the revisions for the class to hear the differences. Cf the class is
not yet ready for independent practice, the class can do the exercise together or in small groups.
)). Writing a good ending.
!he ending brings the story to an end# Sometimes the ending is humorous or it
(ust lets us kno" ho" things turned out# 'ut often the ending also lets the reader
kno" "hy the experience mattered to you then and no"# 8ften the "riter begins
the last sentence "ith "ords like:
-.ooking back;$ No" I reali<e;$ Still to this day;#$ I learned;##
.ook at your story one more time# See if you have a good ending# 4ou may need to
add one more sentence#
)*. +hec%lists for +ontent and (diting
Gou may wish to use the 6+ontent &evision +hec%list7 on p. )1 andJor the 6(diting
+hec%list7 on p. )2 to help your students go over their writing one last time to be sure they have
everything they want. +diting is the last step when all the revision is complete. Ct is important to
make corrections before publication so it is easy for the reader to understand the writing.
)3. ;coring or publishing
The 6;econd Grade 2arrative &ubric7 is provided on p. ) if you wish to score these papers.
Gou may instead prefer to ;publish< them. They may be copied onto stationery and delivered as
gifts. -ince they are stories, they may be collected into anthologies and enoyed as books. They
may be made into bulletin boards or submitted to writing contests or read to kindergarteners.
59
60
#$em%lar& 'odels of (acaville )tudent Writing
2e3 Pla#"ate
8ive years ago C was playing in the backyard when my dad
called, ;-ammy, weFve got to go.< C wondered where we were
going.
(e drove to the hospital and rode the elevator up five stories. C
knew it was some kind of giant check up. My mom went in the
patient room and dad stayed with me.
;(hy are we here anywayL< C asked.
My dad explained, ;(eFre waiting for your new brother.<
;1ool. 1an he driveL Does he have his licenseL :uhL :uhL
:uhL<
My dad laughed and said, ;'o, he canFt. :eFs only a baby.<
;Bh oyM< C groaned. C wasnFt sure C wanted a baby in my life.
-oon the doctor came out. ;:ey little guy and big guy, you
can come in now.< C walked in and there was -hane in MomFs arms.
-he let me sit down and hold him. C couldnFt believe his tiny hands.
C will remember this day forever because C got a new playmate.
:# <irst Pon#
C was coming home from 2randmaFs house when C saw Mom
lifting a saddle from the truck. C ran out to the pasture and gasped.
# gray pony with a gold mane and tail was in the pasture. Mom
came over and laughed when she saw my face. The pony looked up
and trotted over to the gate. ;(ant to ride himL< asked Mom. C
nodded eagerly. -he lifted me on. Ct felt scary to be riding without
a saddle. (hile C rode C asked Mom if we could have the pony. :er
green eyes sparkled into mine. -he said, ;(e already bought this
pony.< C clapped my hands together and squealed. C always
remember the day C met my pony for the first time. C still have him.
61
62
Conducting a To%ic )earch
1. Writing possibilities:
# moment CFll always want to remember9
# time C surprised myself9
My best >worst@ experience in school9
#n adventure with an animal
# time C had to wait for something9
# time C made a startling discovery9
# time C helped someone9
-omething CFd like to try againM
# time C did something C was scared to try
My first cooking experiment
My first attempt at9..
# time C saved the day9
# visit to the doctor or dentist
Making a new friend
My funniest mistake
Ether ideas, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*. Cf you want your writing to be a gift for an i"portant adult in your life,
try the following topics,
a time you did something together
a time you made something together
an adventure you had together
a time you solved a problem together
a time the person helped or taught you
a time you helped or taught the person
a time you both enoyed being together
. Cf you are stuck, think about the last few weeks. Think about things that happened related to
a particular,
place
person
obect
event
63
Maybe one of these memories will be a story worth writing.
64
2
nd
Grade Practice 2arrative Pro"pt
Practice 2arrative Writing Tas%
Directions:
). !emember what happened and plan what you want to write.
*. (rite your narrative based on the prompt below.
3. !evise your narrative based on the revision lessons.
4. "roofread your narrative and make corrections.
$. Make a final copy to publish your narrative.
Writing Directions:
Think of an adult you would like to give a special gift to on MotherFs
Day. Ct could be your own mother, but it might also be your
grandmother, aunt, teacher, neighbor or some other dear lady you love
and admire.
'ow choose one time you were together that you want to write as a
story. Ct could be a highlight of a time you did an activity together, a
time you made something together, an exciting moment of an adventure
you shared, a time one of you helped or taught the other, a time you
solved a problem together, or a favorite moment you enoyed together.
Pro"pt:
1hoose one memorable moment you shared with this special person.
Tell the story of what happened to both of you in order. (rite a strong
beginning, a detailed middle and a good ending. +xplain why this
experience together mattered to you.
;coring:
Gour writing will be scored on how well you,
). (rite about one clear story focused on a single incident.
*. 8ully develop the incident with a beginning, the events in order,
and an ending that shows why it mattered to you.
3. Ese narrative strategies >actions, dialogue, body language to show
feelings, suspense, humor, surprise@ to ;show not tell.<
4. Ese complete and varied sentences.
$. Ese correct capitaliHation, punctuation and spelling.
65
'ame OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Planning Page for Narrative Writing
). (hat experience do you want to write aboutLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*. (hen did it happenL OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
3. :ow old were youL OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
4. (here did it happenLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
$. (ho was the special personLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
0. :ow did you feel about what happenedLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
6. (hy did the experience matter to you thenL 'owL (hat do you hopeL
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Writing Dints
). Tell the events in the order they happened to you.
*. #dd details to help the reader ;see< and ;hear< what happened.
3. -how with body language how you felt about what happened.
4. +xplain why the experience mattered to you then and now.
Draw a picture on the back to recall the details if you wish.
66
Name:
.eads
The first sentence must catch the readerFs attention. !ead the leads below for ideas
how to start your own story.
As% a -uestion :ave you ever been afraid to flyL (ell, C was until you9

:ave you ever been stuck and confusedL Bne time my
teacher assigned a science proect and C didnFt know what to
do until you helped me out.
'se spo%en 3ords ;!un and donFt look backM< my grandma shouted.
Describe the setting The kitchen was spotless with clean white tile, bright yellow
walls, and freshly laundered curtains. Ct looked as though no
one had ever cooked a meal there before. 8or my first
cooking lesson, C had to make spaghetti without splattering
even one drop of tomato sauce on the counter. CmpossibleM
(xaggerate That pumpkin was as big as a school bus.
Do3 #ou felt My heart pounded furiously as C ducked behind the oak tree.
C was sitting on the front step with tears trickling down my
cheeks when you sat down beside me.
?egin 3ith action C checked myself in the mirror one last time and headed
confidently out the door.
:a%e a ;tate"ent -cary things can happen in the dark.

CtFs never too late to apologiHe.
Present a proble" C never knew how cruel kids can be to a newcomer.
Present a "#ster# +very day C wondered when C would grow up.
Ene ti"e Bne time when C was only 0, you took me ice skating.
67
Directions: 'ow try writing t3o different leads for your narrative topic. 1hoose
the best one to begin your narrative. Gou may use the other lead in the writing if
you wish.
a*n to usk )tories
When / 3ent to Disne#land
C was going to my auntFs house. Ct was nighttime
when we got there. (e brushed our teeth and went to bed.
(hen it was morning we brushed our teeth and washed our face.
(e drove to Disneyland. C fell asleep on the way. (e had
lunchables for lunch. (e saw the Mickey "arade. Ct had everyone
in it. The chipmunks were cooking. C saw 1inderella. -he was
pretty. C saw "luto MickeyFs dog. (e got Mickey hats. (e got
some lollipops. Then we went back to my auntFs house. Ct was
night when we got there. (e went to my other cousinFs house.
(e had piHHa and played the video games.
The &ed3oods
My family and C packed for the trip. (e also took our bikes.
(e all got into the van. #nd mom drove half way. Then dad
drove the rest of the way. (hen we got there we got out of the
van and stretched. (e then set up camp. Then we took down our
bikes. My brother and C rode our bikes down a small hill. Then
we packed up. Then we ate. #nd dad drove half way home. Then
mom switched and she drove the rest of the way.
Directions: (ere you bored as you read the stories aboveL These
stories are called ;dawn to dusk< because the writers listed every
detail of the day instead of recreating one incident with clear
details. (hat part is most interesting in each storyL Try to avoid
writing dawn to dusk lists.
68
A'2 Revision 7 !eacher /irections
A'2 revision is a "ay for teachers to *conference+ individually "ith each student
by posing a fe" 1uestions about the content of their draft# A'2 revision
addresses the content of the "riting$ so students learn that "hat they say
matters# 5!he editing stage focuses on correctness later#6
A'2 revision is 1uite respectful of the student%s "riting# !he teacher marks only a
letter on the student paper$ and "rites a 1uestion on a separate page# !his is not
so discouraging as marking up a student%s draft$ and students are more in charge of
making their o"n revisions# =ostly$ the teacher "rites 1uestions to encourage
students to add significant detail$ rather than making corrections of things that
are "rong#
+le$ibilit& "ints, 'ake ABC revision *ork for &our students individuall&#
-Write as many or as fe" A'2 revision 1uestions and suggestions as the individual
student can successfully address#
-3or a "eaker student$ be more specific in your 1uestions$ nudging them in a
fruitful direction#

-Space out your A'2 1uestions$ leaving room for the students to "rite "hat they
"ant to insert in their story# At the end of revising and editing$ they can copy the
"hole story over and insert the additions#
-=odel the A'2 revision by making a transparency of a good draft# As a class$
intervie" the "riter for more significant detail# 5Students usually feel honored to
be selected#6 8n the transparency "rite the class 1uestion and the author%s
response# Reread the draft "ith the added detail# Applaud the author#
-/ouble spacing the draft makes it easier to fit additions in "ithout recopying#
69
70
ABC -evision Practice

Directions: Try #&1 !evision. Cnsert the letter in the story and write your
question on another page. Then brainstorm a response to the questions.
1. 2ot Afraid of the Dar%
Bne night C was by myself in my bedroom. C was afraid because it
was very dark. C tried to find the light switch. C finally found it. C
turned it on and then C wasnFt afraid anymore.
2. +opperhead
Last summer C was visiting relatives in ?entucky. Bne hot day C
ran into a 1opperhead. C was so afraid my belly hurt. C ran down the hill
again ust in time. C was safe. C learned to be more careful because
poisonous snakes can be near lakes where C swim.
. ;ash#>s Fittens
My grandmaFs cat -ashy had kittens. -he had the six kittens on
my MomFs couch. Bne of the kittens was black calico, one gray, and the
others were orange. C got to see the kittens being born. Then C had to
leave to school. C want to remember this day because C learned how
kittens are born.
71
ABC -evision Practice
Teacher 2otes: "ossible #&1 !evisions.
1. 2ot Afraid of the Dar%
Bne night C was by myself in my bedroom. C was afraid
because it was very dark. A. C tried to find the light switch. ?.
C finally found it. +. C turned it on and then C wasnFt afraid
anymore.
A. -how your fear with body language.
. shivered under m& covers and ke%t m& e&es
s/uee0ed shut so . *ouldn1t see an& shado*s,
. could hardl& breathe,
?. :ow did you tryL
)lo*l&2 . slid out from under the covers and
reached along the *all for the light s*itch
*ithout getting off the bed, . didn1t *ant a
monster from under the bed to grab me,
+. (hat happenedL
. couldn1t reach the s*itch2 so . had to 3um%
bravel& off the bed to*ard the door and fli%
the s*itch before an& monster could attack
me, 4ust in time2 . finall& found the light
s*itch,
72
2. +opperhead
Last summer C was visiting relatives in ?entucky.
Bne hot day C ran into a 1opperhead. A. C was so afraid
my belly hurt. ?. +. C ran down the hill again ust in
time. C was safe. C learned to be more careful because
poisonous snakes can be near lakes where C swim.
A. Describe the situation.
The 56foot %oisonous snake *as dra%ed
across the %ath to the lake *here .
%lanned to s*im, . almost ste%%ed on him,
?. -how your terror with body language.
I fro0e2 forgetting even to breathe,
Beads of s*eat dri%%ed do*n m& face, .
couldn1t seem to think *hat to do as the
snake stared calml& back at me,
+. (hat happenedL
The fear in m& stomach e$%loded, .
turned around slo*l&2 almost *ithout
moving2 then raced do*n the hill again 3ust
in time, The snake hissed behind me as if
angr& at missing his chance to strike at
me,
73
. ;ash#>s Fittens
My grandmaFs cat -ashy had kittens. -he had the six
kittens on my MomFs couch. Bne of the kittens was black
calico, one gray, and the others were orange. C got to see the
kittens being born. A. ?. Then C had to leave to school. +. C
want to remember this day because C learned how kittens are
born.
A. Describe what you saw.
)ash& la& on her side licking each kitten as
the& %o%%ed out one b& one, The& *ere onl& a
fe* inches long, Their e&es *ere s/uee0ed
tightl& closed and the& made the tiniest
me*ing,
?. :ow did you feel about the experienceL
. *as so e$cited . forgot it *as a school da&,
. *as still in m& %a3amas *ithout breakfast
*atching the births *hen 'om reminded me it
*as time for school, . begged to sta& home2
but 'om insisted,
+. (hat were your thoughts that dayL
. don1t kno* *hat *e learned that da&
because all da& . thought about the miracle of
the ne* kittens and ho* cute the& *ould be, .
*anted to hold them if )ash& *ould let me, .
couldn1t *ait to race home,
74
Adding 'ody .anguage to Sho" 3eelings
(e all go through many feelings every day. -ome common feelings include,
#ngry frustrated bored thrilled
'ervous disappointed anxious worried
peaceful shy scared sleepy
(orn out serious playful silly
These feelings and many more can be observed directly in bod# language. Gou
can find evidence of feelings in the facial and body expressions and actions.
+yes mouth face throat voice breathing
heart gut arms hands shoulders
posture movement speed actions fists gestures
A. ;-ally felt sad,< is not very interesting. :ow can we show her sadnessL
Der (#es K puffy red, looking down, tears trickling down cheeks
Aoice K sighed, crying, sniffled
Der bod# posture K dragging her feet, bent over, limp, alone, pushing people
away, head down, wiping tears, leaning against someone
'ow we can compose several sentences to show -ally is sad.
;all# rubbed her puff# red e#es and 3iped her tears. ;he leaned her head
against her "other and sighed.
?. ;Doe was sleepy.<
Dis e#es G half shut, heavy eyelids, drooping, shut eyelids
:outh G yawning, snoring
?od# G head falls on arms, relaxed, peaceful
Hoe #a3ned. ;lo3l# his head fell on his ar"s and his e#elids shut. ;oon
he 3as snoring peacefull#.
+. 6Aanessa is sh#.7
Der e#es G looking away or down, avoiding eye contact, uncomfortable
Dands G held behind the back, clutched in front, covering face
Aoice G whisper, mumbled, fades out, quiet
Aanessa clutched her hands in front of her. ;he avoided e#e contact.
Der voice 3as so 8uiet / couldn>t hear her spea%.
75
76
Adding Feelings
Directions: #dd feelings with body language to the following stories.
:# <irst +o""union
Bn my )
st
communion day, it was very exciting. There were a lot
of us. The girls wore dresses like wedding dresses. The boys wore
tuxedos. The priest put bread in our hands to eat. The bread tasted like
cardboard. C felt very good. #fter communion, everybody came to my
house. C got 07 dollars. C had a great time.
The Da# / Got $ost
Bne day C went to the store with my mom and dad. C was looking
at toys and got separated from Mom and Dad. C was lost. C was scared.
C went running around the store hunting for them. C couldnFt find them.
#t last C found them. 'ow C pay attention when CFm shopping with my
parents.
When / 3as so :ad
(hen C asked my mom to play in the rain she said no nicely. -he
didnFt want me to because it was pouring and C felt mad. -o C asked
again but she screamed, ;'oM< Then C felt really, really, really mad. -o C
went to my room and cried. Then C went and apologiHed to my mom.
77
Adding +eelings
Teacher 2otes: Cn italics are possible feelings added with body language.
:# <irst +o""union
Bn my 8irst communion day, it was very exciting. There were a
lot of us. The girls wore dresses like wedding dresses. The boys wore
tuxedos. The priest put bread in our hands to eat. The bread tasted like
cardboard. >C felt very good.@ '& hands shook a little *ith
nervousness2 but . smiled %roudl& *hen . took m& first
communion, #fter the service, everybody came to my house. C got 07
dollars. C had a great time.
The Da# / Got $ost
Bne day C went to the store with my mom and dad. C was looking
at toys and got separated from Mom and Dad. C was lost. >C was
scared.@ '& heart %ounded so fast . could hardl& think
*hat to do, '& hands *ere s*eat& and a fe* tears slid
do*n m& cheeks, C went running around the store hunting for them.
C couldnFt find them. #t last C found them. 'ow C pay attention when
CFm shopping with my parents.
When / 3as so :ad
2ote: !eplace ;so< and ;then< with adverbs and add body language to show
feelings.
(hen C asked my mom to play in the rain she said no nicely. -he
didnFt want me to because it was pouring >and C felt mad@. . %outed
and %ut m& hands on m& hi%s in %rotest, 5-o@ )tubbornl& /
asked again but she screamed, ;'oM< >Then C felt really, really, really
mad.@ Angril& . stom%ed out of the room gro*ling and
muttering mean things, -o C went to my room and cried. >Then C
went@ #ventuall& / cooled off and apologiHed to my mom.
78
Strong Action >erbs -- Primary Version
admit
agree
amaze
announce
apologize
applaud
attack
aoid
!eat
!end
!orro"
!ot#er
!ounce
!rag
call
cancel
carry
clim!
connect
continue
control
com!ine
complain
cras#
cra"l
creak
criticize
crunc#
cure
decorate
disappear
die
dodge
dramatize
drip
drop
eat
enter
erupt
e$ercise
e$plode
%ade
%i$
%loat
%ly
%ocus
%ollo"
%ro"n
gasp
gat#er
giggle
groan
#esitate
#ide
#ope
#urry
#ypnotize
identi%y
imitate
inole
&og
&ump
leae
lie
like
limp
link
listen
magni%y
manage
matc#
mature
measure
melt
occur
oppose
order
o"e
paddle
persuade
pinc#
plead
please
pounce
pound
prooke
pucker
punis#
pus#
pursue
re%use
re#earse
reerse
slide
slip
slit#er
smile
snarl
sneak
splas#
startle
steal
tattle
tease
tempt
tickle
tiptoe
torture
touc#
trespass
turn
t"ist
anis#
"ag
"#ine
"in
"is#
"onder
79
Changing to Action (erbs
Directions: Ese the list of action verbs to change the underlined verbs.
Cn some cases you may change the whole sentence.
# Day at a (ater "ark
Bnce C visited a water park. 8irst my friend and C
went on a huge water slide. Then we went on a tube with
my mom. (e went in a wave pool. There were huge
waves in the pool. (e went to go eat lunch. (e had
subway. (e went to an ice cream store and got vanilla ice
cream. Ct was very, very good. Then we went on a big
water tube. Then we went in a river and floated on tubes
while the water pushed us. (e went to have dinner and
went home. C was exhausted from spending so much time
in the water.
Changing to Action (erbs
Teacher note: &elow are possible action verbs to replace the dull verbs
in the original story. Delete the original words in brackets. The new
actions verbs are underlined.
# Day at a (ater "ark
Bnce C visited a water park. 8irst, my friend and C
slid do*n a huge water slide. Then we rode on a tube
with my mom. (e %la&ed on huge *aves in a wave
pool. I(e went to go eat lunch. (e had subway. (e
went to an ice cream store and got vanilla ice cream. Ct
was very, very good.J +or lunch *e ate sub*a&
sand*iches and delicious vanilla ice cream,
7um, Ne$t we floated on a big water tube in a river
while the water pushed us. K(e went to have dinner and
went home.L After dinner *e returned home, C
was exhausted from spending so much time in the water.
A/>)R'S
W8-) T"AT T#LL "8W
agreea!ly generously success%ully
angrily gently s"eetly
annoyingly grate%ully stu!!ornly
une$pectedly
!as#%ully #appily
!oldly #ope%ully "illingly
!raely "isely
&okingly
calmly &oy%ully Add your own
care%ully
c#eer%ully kindly
clearly
cleerly loingly
curiously
patiently
deliciously play%ully
desperately proudly
eagerly sincerely
easily smoot#ly
e$citedly so%tly
Adding Time Connectors and Adverbs
Directions, !eplace ;then< and ;so< with time connectors or adverbs from the
word lists. Gou may also wish to make a few other revisions, such as adding body
language to show feelingsA.
(hen C 2ot Lost Cn (al Mart
C got lost in (al Mart. Then my mom told me to go
to the front desk and tell them C was lost. C was scared.A C
wondered down the hallway. C called for my mom. &ut
she couldnFt hear me. -o C went to the front desk and told
them C was lost. Then they called my mother on the
intercom. Then Mom came to the front desk.A C thought
she had left me at (al Mart. 'ow C feel better because
CFm older and C know my way around (al Mart. "lus, C
know C can always ask for help if C need it.
Adding Time Connectors and Adverbs
Teacher note, &elow are possible replacements for ;then<and ;so< plus
added body language to show feelings.
(hen C 2ot Lost Cn (al Mart
C got lost in (al Mart. Then 9.n the %ast2 Before2 A long
time ago2 %reviousl&: my mom told me to go to the front desk and
tell them C was lost. C was scared. !(Bod& language! . bit m&
nails nervousl& to kee% from cr&ing,: C wondered down the
hallway. C called for my mom. &ut she couldnFt hear me. -o 5After
a*hile2 boldl&2 bashfull&2 bravel&: # went to the front desk and
told them C was lost. Then 9.mmediatel&2 Cheerfull&2 *illingl&2
Agreeabl&2 ;indl&: they called my mother on the intercom# !hen
9)oon after that2 Calml&2 "a%%il&2 -ight a*a&2 8ne second
later: Mom came <9Bod& language! rushed: to the front desk
<9Bod& language! and gave me a big hug:, C thought she had left
me at (al Mart. 'ow C feel better because CFm older and C know my
way around (al Mart. "lus, C know C can always ask for help if C need
it.
Replacing Said
added insisted screamed
agreed interrupted s#outed
ans"ered sig#ed
asked &oked so!!ed
suggested
!egged
!lurted teased
!ragged laug#ed
lied "arned
called "#ined
c#uckled moaned "#ispered
com%orted mum!led
cried
pleaded Add your own
encouraged pouted
e$plained promised
giggled 'uestioned
grinned
groaned remem!ered
guessed repeated
#inted
Adding Time Connectors2 Adverbs2 and )aid -e%lacements
Directions: !eplace ;said< with stronger verbs. !eplace ;-o< and
;Then< with time connectors or adverbs(
The Deep (nd
C went to my cousinFs house during the summer.
(hile C was in the car driving there, my sister +rin kept
on teasing me about how C couldnFt swim in the deep end.
-o C said, PCFm going to go into the deep end.<
;Geah, right,< said my sister.
My cousins have a water slide. C really like going
down the water slide. Then C umped in the pool. -o C
swam and swam and swam and then C dived into the deep
end.
-o C said, ;C told you C could do it.< Then C got out of
the pool and had a barbecue. 8or once C showed my sister
ust what C could do.
Adding Time Connectors2 Adverbs2 and )aid -e%lacements
Teacher note, &elow are possible replacements for ;said,< ;so< and ;then.<
The Deep (nd
C went to my cousinFs house during the summer. (hile C was in
the car driving there, my sister +rin kept on teasing me about how C
couldnFt swim in the deep end.
-o 9bravel&2 reluctantl&2 un*illingl&2 finall&: # said,
9declared2 insisted2 announced: PCFm going to go into the deep
end.<
;Geah, right,< said 9sneered2 laughed2 teased$ my sister.
My cousins have a water slide. C really like going down the water
slide. Then 9Cooll&2 =uickl&2 Calml&2 Casuall&2 +earlessl&$ C
umped in the pool. -o 9+or a long time2 #nthusiasticall&2
/uietl&$ C swam and swam and swam and then 9une$%ectedl&2
suddenl&2 cleverl&2 all at once2 finall&2 /uickl&: # dived into
the deep end.
-o 9After that2 clearl&2 e$citedl&2 ha%%il&: # said,
9declared2 blurted2 bragged2 chuckled2 grinned: ;C told you C
could do it.<
)#en 9Briskl&2 %roudl&: I got out o% t#e pool and en&oyed
t#e !ar!ecue( *or once + s#o"ed my sister &ust "#at + could do(
Adding ialogue
Directions: 1ompare the two drafts. (hat is the differenceL (hich is more
interestingL
Getting :# <irst ;na%e
Mom took me to the pet shop to get my frogs some crickets.
C was looking around at the pets. Then C asked my mom for a cat, she
said no. Then C asked my mom if C could have a dog, but my mom
said no. Then C asked my mom for a red tail boa. -he said yes
because she likes snakes. (e bought everything a snake needs but we
forgot the crickets.
Getting :# <irst ;na%e
Mom took me to the pet shop to get my frogs some crickets.
C was looking around curiously at the pets.
1leverly C asked, ;Mom, may C have an adorable, purring
catL
;'o,< she laughed.
+agerly C suggested, ;Mom, can C have a loyal, friendly dog
who will protect usL<
;'o,< she chuckled again. C guess she doesnFt like cats or
dogs very much.
:opefully C begged, ;Mom, letFs get a redItailed boa
constrictorM<
;Ges,< she agreed cheerfully because she likes snakes. (e
bought everything a snake needs, but unfortunately we forgot the
crickets for my frogs.
ABC -evision Practice Lesson
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
C had an adventure. A. (here C live, it rains a lot. Bne year,
it rained so much that it flooded. The rivers rose higher than the road.
(e live on a hill and we got trapped. ?. The first day he rowed the
canoe to the store to get food. +. C think that store is pretty good. D.
Then a helicopter came to rescue us. (. (e stayed at my cousinsF
house for a week. <.
A. (rite a strong lead.
?. Ese body language to show how you felt.
+. (ho is ;he<L (hyL
D. Cs this important to the storyL
(. Ese body language to show how you feltL
<. (rite a good ending.
G. #dd a short title.
ABC -evision
Teacher note: &elow is a possible #&1 revision.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
C had an adventure. A. (here C live, it rains a lot. Bne year, it rained so much
that it flooded. The rivers rose higher than the road. (e live on a hill and we got trapped. ?.
The first day he rowed the canoe to the store to get food. +. C think that store is pretty good.
D. Then a helicopter came to rescue us. (. (e stayed at my cousinsF house for a week. <.
#. (rite a strong lead.
=uestion! "ave &ou ever been tra%%ed in &our o*n house>
)%oken *ords! ?ad2 *hat are *e going to do> . asked2 m& voice tight
*ith fear,
+eelings! A *ave of %anic %assed through m& shivering bod& as . looked
at the ocean surrounding me,
&. Ese body language to show how you felt.
'& stomach ached and m& nerves *ere shak&, . 3um%ed at ever&
unfamiliar sound as the *aters rose, '& imagination added to m& fears
of sinking under the flood *aters, .t took all m& effort to kee% from
screaming,
1. (ho is ;he<L (hyL
The first da& m& dad ro*ed the canoe to the store to get food since
our su%%lies *ere no* soaked and useless,
D. Cs this important to the storyL
Cut this sentence,
+. Ese body language to show how you feltL
+or the first time in da&s2 . breathed normall& and m& muscles rela$ed,
. even managed a *eak smile for the %ilot as he %ulled me u%,
8. (rite a good ending.
B& that time . *as over m& fear, No* that . *as safe2 the flood *as
more of an adventure to remember,
2. #dd a short title.
Tra%%ed in a +lood
+ontent &evision +hec%list

'ame OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Directions: +hec% the steps #ou have alread# co"pleted.
Title of my story, MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
). OOOMy story is true.
*. My writing makes sense when C read it.
OOOO C told where C was.
OOOO C told who was there.
OOOO C told what happened.
OOOO C told the details in order.
3. My story has OOOOOa beginning, OOOOOa middle, and OOOOOan end.
4. OOOMy story has enough interesting details.
$. C used the following writing techniques,
OOOO a strong lead
OOOOO dialogue
OOOOO body language to show how C felt
OOOOO a good ending
0. C used OOOOOstrong action verbs, OOOOOtime connectors, OOOOOadverbs and
OOOOOreplacements for ;said.<
6. OOOMy sentences do not all begin in the same way.
&evision: 'ow use this checklist to make your writing better. Gou can,
#dd details.
1ut out details.
1hange the words.
+hec% again: #fter you revise, see if you can check any more steps you have
completed.
(diting +hec%list
'ame OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Title OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Directions: !ead one line at a time and edit your paper. Make
corrections. 1heck each line when it is true.
). OOOOO#ll my sentences begin with capital letters.
*. OOOOO#ll my sentences end with the correct punctuation. >.LM@
3. OOOOOC used capital letters for the names of people, places and pets.
4. OOOOOC checked my spelling to the best of my ability.
$. OOOOOC wrote a short title at the top of my paper.
0. OOOOOC am ready to publish my writing.
;econd Grade 2A&&AT/A(. ;TE&N ?ench"ar%, Anal#tical &ubric and ;coring Page
Date MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM 2a"e MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
;chool MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Teacher MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
D/&(+T/E2;: 1ircle the number in each trait that best describes the paper.

/D(A and +E2T(2T
4 one clear story focused on a single incident and fully developed
3 one clear story generally focused on a single incident and adequately developed
* vague or unfocused story= several stories >a list@= minimal development
) no recogniHable story
E&GA2/OAT/E2
4 an engaging beginning= events presented in chronological order= an ending that shows the importance
of the incident or an insight gained
3 an interesting beginning= events mostly in chronological order= an ending that shows some importance
of the incident
* a weak beginning= events may be out of sequence or confusing= a weak or missing ending
) no apparent organiHation
AE/+(
4 ;shows rather than tells< by using a variety of narrative strategies >i.e. action, dialogue, body language to
show feelings, suspense, humor, surprise, etc.@
3 ;shows rather than tells< by using some narrative strategies
* minimal use of narrative strategies
) no use of narrative strategies
WE&D +DE/+(
4 uses clear, concrete language >i.e. strong action verbs, specific nouns, precise adverbs and adectives,
figurative language such as simile@
3 uses some concrete language
* uses minimal concrete language
) no use of concrete language
;(2T(2+( <$'(2+N
4 complete sentences= some variety of beginnings, lengths and kinds= smooth flow
3 mostly complete sentences= some variety of beginnings, lengths or kinds= mostly smooth flow
* short, simple sentences with some fragments or runIons= choppy or repetitious
) many runIons, fragments or disconnected sentences
+E2A(2T/E2;
4 mostly correct capitaliHation, end punctuation, and spelling of common word
3 some errors in capitaliHation, end punctuation, and spelling of common words
* many errors in capitaliHation, end punctuations and spelling of common words= some phonetic spelling
) serious and numerous errors in capitaliHation, end punctuation, and spelling
A%ILimited #ttempt