Anger With God

1
Anger
with God
q
Click on a study title youd like to see
q
2009 Christianity Today International ChristianBibleStudies.com
Current Issues
Study 1: HONEST ANGER
Leaders Guide Participants Guide
Study 2: BELIEVE GOD LOVES YOU

Study 3: BLESS AND HONOR GOD
Study 4: REPLACING ANGER
2
14
26
40
2
Current Issues
L e a d e r s G u i d e
Scr i pt ure: Job 1: 1319; 2: 79; Psal m 73; 139: 2324; Ephesi ans 4: 2532
Bei ng honest wi t h God i s t he f i r st st ep
t oward resol vi ng our anger.
Honest
Anger
Its a bit scary, but we have to admit the
truth. At times, we get angry with God.
The pink slip comes, even though we were
told layofs wouldnt happen. God tells us
to move away from family and friends. We
obey and everything falls apart. We grow up
trusting God, but now he seems to have forgotten
about us. Life isnt fair, and we feel its Gods fault.
Anger is an honest emotion, but dare we express it to God Almighty? Is it
okay to be red-faced, spitting mad at God? What happens if we tell him how
we really feel? These are some of the questions well address in this study.
An g e r wi t h Go d
Honest Anger
L e a d e r s Gu i d e
3
Part 1 Identify the Current Issue
Note to l eader: Provi de each per son wi t h t he Par t i ci pant s Gui de
i ncl uded at t he end of t hi s st udy.
Monty looks back on his tween years as the beginning of his anger with God. When he
was 12, his family moved away from a small community to a huge city, 250 miles east. Just
about to enter middle school, Monty was excited about transitioning with his friends. But
instead, he had to say goodbye to his comfort zone. His parents explained the move as a step
of faith. God is moving us, they said. Monty decided he didnt want anything to do with
such a cruel God. Now in his 20s, Monty still wonders why God didnt answer his prayers
and let him stay with his friends.
Life throws unfair blows at us. Wonderful people die young. Loving couples are infertile.
Christian marriages end. When we cant understand why, we often let our emotions take
control. Any type of disappointment, loss, or hurt can send us straight into anger
especially if someone tells us, Its Gods will. Like Monty, we blame our sovereign God.
Yet the Bible shows us examples of honest anger. Admitting anger can be the rst step
toward healing, as we deal with the losses of life. God isnt afraid of our anger. Hes been
dealing with it since before we were born. In fact, he created us with emotions so we can
express what we feel and not implode. He wants us to be honest with ourselves, with others,
and especially with him. Then hell help us gure out what to do with the messiness of life.
Discussion Starters:
[Q]
When was the last time you were angry with God?
[Q] How did you deal with your anger?
[Q] Do you sometimes feel like a guinea pig in a cosmic joke?
[Q] Is it easier to blame God the Father than Jesus or the Holy Spirit?
[Q] What is the reason that most people get angry with God at some time in their lives?
Honest Anger
4
Part 2 Discover the Eternal Principles
Teaching Point One: Anger is a response to pain.
Any loss, disappointment, or hurt can lead us to anger. We want somebody to pay for the way
weve been treated, but theres nobody to blameexcept God. We think: If he really loved us,
hed do something to make it rightor he would have never allowed it to happen in the rst
place.
One particular woman served as an example of honest anger in Scripture. We dont even know
her name or what happened to her after the scene was over. But her drama was intense and
her anger understandable.
She was the wealthy wife of a powerful and faithful man. But one day, a team of marauding
pagans destroyed her husbands livestock and livelihood. The servants were also killed,
except the one who managed to bring back the sad news. In one day, her wealth and the
accompanying power disappeared. She could no longer send her servants to the market for the
best fabric or the most fragrant spices. Everything was gone.
Then, just as she was catching her breath and beginning to deal with the loss, word came that
all her children had been killed in a freak windstorm. Seven sons and three daughters were all
wiped out in one tragic moment.
She was alone in her grief, because her husband refused to blame God. Then he developed
a debilitating skin disease, and she was forced to watch her spouse suffer. Loss upon loss of
livelihood, family, and health. Jobs wife responded with honesty, Curse God and die.
Read Job 1:1319 and 2:79.
[Q] Do you think Jobs wife was justied in her response? Why or why not?
How might she have better expressed her anger?
[Q] Is it better to express anger immediately or to hold it in until we can express it
without so much emotion?
[Q] How can we encourage our family members to express honest anger?
[Q] Is the expression of anger ever wrong?
Honest Anger
5
Teaching Point Two: Stored anger can be dangerous.
Think about this statement: Anger is just one letter away from danger.
Angry people make us uncomfortable. Perhaps this is why it is so difcult to express our
anger with God. We dont like feeling uncomfortable, and we certainly dont want to sin
against God.
But repressed anger has been scientically measured and concluded to be physically
dangerous. One Bible teacher explains the process as hurt > pain > anger > unforgiveness >
bitterness > death. The resulting death may be emotional, but also physical, as several bodily
organs can be affected by the stress of anger. One type of emotional death is when we cant
be honest with God, and we feel the pain all the way to our souls.
God created us with a built-in thermostat to keep us from storing anger. He knew we would
need to release the pressure. Since we are made in his image, we use him as our example.
God is comfortable expressing honest anger. One Bible concordance records 76 references
to the Lords anger. Somehow Gods anger seems justied, because he is perfect. But we are
sinful, so we may not feel the same justication in expressing our anger to the God who has
allowed pain into our lives.
Read Psalm 73.
Asaph, one of the choir directors in Israel, wrote this psalm. He expressed his frustration and
anger because wicked people prospered. They have no struggles, Asaph wrote. Always
carefree, they increase in wealth. Asaph wasnt afraid to admit that he struggled with the
inequities of life. Only at the end of the psalm did Asaph resolve the dilemma. He looked at
eternity and saw God in control.
[Q] Why is it so scary to be honest with God?
[Q] Do you feel better when you express anger, or does expressing anger just feed your
inner rage?
Author Mark Littleton addresses the problem of anger at God in his book Big Bad God of
the Bible: Is God Really a Bully? (Living Ink, 2008). Littletons character quips, God is great
at dodging questions, concerns, details, whatnot. He just sails along blithely like nothings
wrong, and then someone dies, or gets judged, or is thrown out of the coop.
[Q] Do you agree with Littletons character? Does God dodge your honest questions? Is
he a bully? Explain.
[Q] How do you keep from storing anger?

Honest Anger
6
Optional Activity: Make a list of all the situations or circumstances that make you angry.
Circle the ones that represent anger with God.
Share these with your group and discuss how you might resolve the anger. Is it something you just
have to live with by faith, or is there help in Scripture or that someone in the group can give?
Spend time praying for each other as you deal honestly with these issues. Read Psalm 51:6 together.
Teaching Point Three: Let yourself be honest.
Listing the things that make us angry toward God seems almost blasphemous. We wonder if its
okay to express what were feeling. Yet the Bible gives us many examples of people who struggled
with God. Asking God, Why? is really a plea for God to explain himself and take away the
hidden anger we feel. Read Ephesians 4:2532.
The apostle Paul taught the Christians in Ephesus about the importance of being honest.
Speak truthfully he wrote. In your anger, do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while
you are still angry Throughout the last three chapters of Ephesians, Paul writes to these
new believers about taking responsibility for their lives. He deals with marriage, parenting, and
spiritual warfare. But at the end of chapter four, he teaches about anger. He reminds them of
the importance of honest appraisal before each day ends. Let it go, he says, then go to bed.
To have a healthy spiritual life, we need to be honest with each other, confront with love, and
forgive. To have a healthy relationship with God, we need to let ourselves be honest with him.
Hes big enough to handle all of our pain and anger.
[Q] Have you ever tried to sleep while you were struggling with anger? What happened?
[Q] Should we accept anger with God as a normal part of the human experience?
Explain.
[Q] Do you have a more honest relationship with others when you are free to express
anger? Why or why not?
[Q] How do you keep anger from becoming bitterness?
[Q] Is there any circumstance in your life for which you cant forgive God?
Teaching Point Four: Anger has a purpose.
Weve heard about righteous anger. Its no surprise when the injustices in our world move us
toward vehement protest. But what could be the purpose of anger in our own lives?
Honest Anger
7
Biblical counselor June Hunt describes frustration as a form of anger, especially when it reveals
unmet expectations. We all have a God-given inner need for signicance, Hunt writes. When
the signicance is threatened, frustration is a major source of anger. So one purpose for anger is
to help us see our need for signicance and perhaps deal with unrealistic expectations. Read Psalm
73:2326.
Another purpose is noted earlier in Psalm 73. Asaph had come to the end of his questions, and
now he focused on trusting God. His anger brought him into a more intimate relationship with the
Almighty. Honest anger can do that for us, too, helping us understand the cry of Gods heart for
our love.
Still another purpose for honest anger is to nd the root of our frustration. Have we been hurt by
someone and never honestly dealt with the pain? Perhaps were still angry at our parents and the
way they raised us or even abused us. Maybe there was an absent parent. Our anger points us to
that empty place and helps us realize only God can ll it.
Changes in life often masquerade as fear, but the root of that fear might be anger. Were frustrated
by economic uncertainties, afraid of losing everything, and angry that others have betrayed us.
Finding the root of anger helps us dig out the truth and be honest with ourselves. But nding that
root means coming back to the rst pointhonest anger.
[Q] Are there any hidden roots in your soul that are keeping you from expressing anger?
[Q] What is an example of being frustrated by unmet expectations?
[Q] How can righteous anger bring about change? How do you deal with change?
[Q] Have you found any purpose for the anger in your life? What good can come out of it?
[Q] How does God pour out his heart to you? How do you pour out your heart to him?
Part 3 Apply Your Findings
Read Psalm 139:2324.
King David urges us to bring our vulnerability to God. Only our loving heavenly Father knows
exactly how we feel and the anger we hide inside. He can search those deep places, test us, and
know our thoughts. Anger isnt offensive to God, but ignoring him is. He wants us to trust him
enough to honestly bare our souls and then let him ll the emptiness. Perhaps Davids honesty
with God had something to do with him becoming a man after Gods own heart.
Honest Anger
8
In the book Uprooting Anger (P&R Publishing, 2005), author Robert D. Jones writes that
anger is a response of judgment against perceived evil. This includes the perceived evils that
happen to us. Jones further explains, Anger is something we do, not something we have.
We cant hide our anger from God, although we may try to hide it from others and even from
ourselves. So if we cant hide it, we might as well express it and rid ourselves of the burden.
[Q] How was King David vulnerable with God?
[Q] What is the difference between trying to hide our anger from God and just ignoring
God?
[Q] Do you agree with Jones that anger is something we do rather than something we
have?
[Q] How does anger affect your prayer life? Your worship life?
[Q] Does our ability to express anger determine whether we have a healthy relationship
with God? Explain.
[Q] Are we ever justied in being angry with God?
[Q] What disappointments or losses have recently caused you to be angry?

Action Point: Keep the anger where it belongs. Think about your most
recent loss, hurt, or disappointment. What have you done with that anger?
If you still need to deal with it, express it first to God. Ask him to guide you.
Perhaps he wants you just to confess that anger. Maybe you can journal
about it or write yourself a letter and then destroy it. Ask him to guide you
to Scriptures of healing so the anger can be resolved. Pray for protection for
yourself to keep the anger from becoming a harmful root of bitterness or a
physical stress. Determine to be more alert for any loss, and to immediately
deal with anger. Ask God to make you more sensitive to hidden angers.
When we look for the roots of our feelings, we learn more about ourselves.
As we begin to allow pieces of our anger to fall off, we may feel scared about
our vulnerability. But thats where God can begin. When we bring him our
most inner selves, he touches those tender places and brings healing. But
if we close ourselves off from him, we avoid the truth and miss out on his
sweetness. Well have a more intimate walk with our Savior when we get
rid of everything that keeps us away from his heart, including the messy
business of anger.
Rebecca Jay writes from Kansas and sometimes struggles with anger. Shes
learning to be more honest with God and with herself.
Honest Anger
9
Recommended Resources
Check out the following Bible studies at: ChristianBibleStudies.com
Whats Fueling Your Anger
John Piper on the Nature of God
Psalms: Managing Our Emotions
Who Is God?
1 Samuel: Putting God First
Adopted into Gods Family
Angry at God? Bring Him Your Doubts and Questions, by Robert D. Jones
(Resources for Changing Lives, 2003). We need to humbly bring God our struggles,
doubts, and questions. We must learn to be transparent in Gods presence, think
biblically, and act obediently.
The Anger Workbook, by Les Carter and Frank Minirth, M.D. (Thomas Nelson,
1992). A 13-step program of interactive exercises that will help you identify learned
patterns of relating, thinking, and behaving that inuence your anger.
The Big Bad God of the Bible: Is God Really a Bully? by Mark Littleton (Living Ink,
2008). Tough issues found in Scripture: God-ordered genocides such as the ood; free
will; the problem of evil; the fall.
Uprooting Anger, by Robert D. Jones (P&R Publishing, 2005). Everyone
experiences anger, but few of us handle it in a Christ-centered way or know how to
help others biblically. We need something better than our own moral efforts and
resolutions if we really want to rid our hearts of deep-rooted anger.
Dont Sing Songs to a Heavy Heart, by Kenneth C. Haugk, Ph.D. (Stephen
Ministries, 2004). The words or actions we use in our attempts to help hurting people
may unintentionally add to their burdens instead of easing their pain.
The Angry Christian, by Andrew D. Lester (Westminster/John Knox, 2003). The
newest behavioral research models, contemporary biblical and theological scholarship,
constructivist philosophy, and narrative theory in a comprehensive pastoral theology
of anger.
Getting Anger Under Control, by Neil T. Anderson and Rich Miller (Harvest House
Publishers, 2002). Gain the upper hand when you discover these biblical principles
and constructive methods for overcoming overwhelming emotions.
10
Honest Anger
Pa r t i c i pa nt s Gu i d e
P a r t i c i p a n t s G u i d e
Scr i pt ure: Job 1: 1319; 2: 79; Psal m 73; 139: 2324; Ephesi ans 4: 2532
Bei ng honest wi t h God i s t he f i r st st ep
t oward resol vi ng our anger.
Honest
Anger
Its a bit scary, but we have to admit the
truth. At times, we get angry with God.
The pink slip comes, even though we were
told layofs wouldnt happen. God tells us
to move away from family and friends. We
obey and everything falls apart. We grow up
trusting God, but now he seems to have forgotten
about us. Life isnt fair, and we feel its Gods fault.
Anger is an honest emotion, but dare we express it to God Almighty? Is it
okay to be red-faced, spitting mad at God? What happens if we tell him how
we really feel? These are some of the questions well address in this study.
11
Honest Anger
Life throws unfair blows at us. Wonderful people die young. Loving couples are infertile.
Christian marriages end. When we cant understand why, we often let our emotions take control.
Any type of disappointment, loss, or hurt can send us straight into anger.
Yet the Bible shows us examples of honest anger. Admitting anger can be the rst step toward
healing, as we deal with the losses of life. God isnt afraid of our anger. Hes been dealing with it
since before we were born. In fact, he created us with emotions so we can express what we feel
and not implode. He wants us to be honest with ourselves, with others, and especially with him.
Then hell help us gure out what to do with the messiness of life.
Teaching Point One: Anger is a response to pain.
Teaching Point Two: Stored anger can be dangerous.
Teaching Point Three: Let yourself be honest.
Teaching Point Four: Anger has a purpose.
We cant hide our anger from God, although we may try to hide it from others and even from
ourselves. So if we cant hide it, we might as well express it and rid ourselves of the burden.
Action Point: Keep the anger where it belongs. Think about your most recent
loss, hurt, or disappointment. What have you done with that anger? If you
still need to deal with it, express it first to God. Ask him to guide you. Perhaps
he wants you just to confess that anger. Maybe you can journal about it or
write yourself a letter and then destroy it. Ask him to guide you to Scriptures
of healing so the anger can be resolved. Pray for protection for yourself to
keep the anger from becoming a harmful root of bitterness or a physical
stress. Determine to be more alert for any loss, and to immediately deal with
anger. Ask God to make you more sensitive to hidden angers.
12
Honest Anger
When we look for the roots of our feelings, we learn more about ourselves.
As we begin to allow pieces of our anger to fall off, we may feel scared about
our vulnerability. But thats where God can begin. When we bring him our
most inner selves, he touches those tender places and brings healing. But
if we close ourselves off from him, we avoid the truth and miss out on his
sweetness. Well have a more intimate walk with our Savior when we get
rid of everything that keeps us away from his heart, including the messy
business of anger.
Rebecca Jay writes from Kansas and sometimes struggles with anger. Shes
learning to be more honest with God and with herself.
Who Is God?
(Resources for Changing Lives, 2003). We need to humbly bring God our struggles,
doubts, and questions. We must learn to be transparent in Gods presence, think
biblically, and act obediently.
The Anger Workbook, by Les Carter and Frank Minirth, M.D. (Thomas Nelson,
1992). A 13-step program of interactive exercises that will help you identify learned
patterns of relating, thinking, and behaving that inuence your anger.
The Big Bad God of the Bible: Is God Really a Bully? by Mark Littleton (Living Ink,
2008). Tough issues found in Scripture: God-ordered genocides such as the ood; free
will; the problem of evil; the fall.
13
Honest Anger
Uprooting Anger, by Robert D. Jones (P&R Publishing, 2005). Everyone
experiences anger, but few of us handle it in a Christ-centered way or know how to
help others biblically. We need something better than our own moral efforts and
resolutions if we really want to rid our hearts of deep-rooted anger.
Dont Sing Songs to a Heavy Heart, by Kenneth C. Haugk, Ph.D. (Stephen
Ministries, 2004). The words or actions we use in our attempts to help hurting people
may unintentionally add to their burdens instead of easing their pain.
The Angry Christian, by Andrew D. Lester (Westminster/John Knox, 2003). The
newest behavioral research models, contemporary biblical and theological scholarship,
constructivist philosophy, and narrative theory in a comprehensive pastoral theology
of anger.
Getting Anger Under Control, by Neil T. Anderson and Rich Miller (Harvest House
Publishers, 2002). Gain the upper hand when you discover these biblical principles
and constructive methods for overcoming overwhelming emotions.
14
Current Issues
Scr i pt ure: Psal m 32: 811; Lament at i ons 3: 1626; Habakkuk 3: 1719;
Romans 8: 3139; 1 John 4: 721
To resol ve our anger, we need t o t r ust God
because of our conf i dence i n hi s l ove.
Believe God
Loves You
Little children in Sunday school are taught
songs about Jesus love. Most of us have
memorized John 3:16, For God so loved
the world . We believe in Gods love
when life is easy, when we dont have many
problems. But now that were being honest
and admitting our anger, we may have difculty
believing that Gods love still includes us. Weve grown
up. We simply dont trust God any more.
How do we move from the heat of anger to the calm of faith? Are anger and
trust opposing emotions? Does God really love us, even when were angry?
In this study, well search for some answers to these questions.
15
Believe God Loves You
Angela earned a cheerleading scholarship to her state university. She eagerly walked to the
gym for the rst practice of the season and met all the other cheerleaders. After they warmed
up with stretching moves, the leader announced it was time for the trust exercise. Each girl
had to climb to the top of the bleachers, turn around and fall backwards into the arms of the
guys. It was the ultimate test of trust. Could Angela let herself fall several feet and trust the
strength of those strong arms? She did, and she passed the test.
During a ballgame later that semester, Angela was at the top of the cheerleader pyramid.
Three rows below, somebody buckled. The entire group fell, and Angela landed under
several other bodies. Her knee bent beneath her, tearing cartilage and tissue. She spent time
in the hospital, going through surgery and painful rehab. The next time she was part of a
pyramid, trust was more difcult to nd. Angela remembered the pain of that fall, and fear
climbed with her over each row of cheerleading bodies.
A cheerleading exercise is one example of trust, but how many of us have difculty believing
in Gods unconditional love? Sometimes our anger with God may come from the fact that
we cant reconcile love with his seemingly unloving actions. Since we cant understand his
logic, we cant trust his heart. We want to believe God loves us, and we think we trust him.
But what happens to our trust when it feels like God has dropped us?
[Q]
Have you ever felt like God dropped you in the middle of a crucial test? Tell us
about it.
[Q] When life falls apart, how do you nd your way back to belief and trust?
[Q] Is it possible to have a relationship with God and not completely trust him?
[Q] Does anger destroy trust?
[Q] Some may be afraid to admit their anger with God, because they feel their honesty
might cancel out his love. Is that a valid fear? Why or why not?
16
Teaching Point One: Describe the indescribable.
Read Romans 8:3139.
How many of us would offer our healthy child as a heart transplant donor for a neighborhood
kid? Yet that is exactly what God did for us. The greatest proof of his loving heart was when
he sent his Son to die for us. Another human being actually became our substitute and gave
his heart. Because Jesus paid the ultimate price, God doesnt demand death and eternal
judgment for us. If weve made the choice to believe Gods love and have a relationship with
Christ, weve had an eternal transplant.
To understand how to trust Gods heart, we need to believe in who he is. We nd descriptions
of God by looking in his Book; by searching beyond our logic to nd his heart. An authors
character often shows in his work. Madeleine LEngle lived a creative life in her garden and
through her words, and often wrote about gardening in her essays. Maya Angelous gift for
poetic rhythm comes through her writings, even in her novels and nonction pieces. The
details of sensitive characters reveal the artistry of Nicholas Sparks, causing us to believe him
to be a sensitive man. The military shaped who Tom Clancy is, and this shows up in all his
novels.
Throughout Gods book, the Bible, we discover his character. He is loveno matter how
angry his people are. He is sovereignno matter how out-of-control life seems. He is just
no matter how long it takes for justice to happen. These are just some of the attributes of
God, and love is an overall theme throughout Gods Book. God found a way to show us his
heartthrough Christ.
As difcult as it sometimes is to believe, absolutely nothing can separate us from Gods love.
Hebrews 13:5b quotes Deuteronomy 31:6, God has said, Never will I leave you; never will I
forsake you. God will never abandon us, never reject us, and never, ever stop loving us.
Optional Activity: As a group, read 1 John 4:721. Then reread it silently and highlight
every phrase that talks about Gods love. On a whiteboard or poster board, list the love phrases your
group has discovered. Share how some of these phrases have been evident in your life. Describe how
you rely on the love God has for you (v. 16). Then ask: What did these phrases teach you about
Gods love?
[Q] Before you became a Christian, were you aware of being separated from God? Is it
different now? If so, how?
17
[Q] To what degree are a lack of trust and the sin of unbelief connected?

In her book Breaking Free (Broadman & Holman, 2000), Bible study teacher Beth Moore
writes, God cannot keep from showing his love. He loves us through blessing, answered
prayer, loving chastisement, constant care, intervention and much more. God thinks about
us constantly.
[Q] Do you think thats true? Do you believe God is thinking about you constantly?
Why or why not?
[Q] If you dont believe God loves you, what might be Gods opinion about that? For
example, how have you felt when you love someone and they reject or fail to see that
love? Is that a fair analogy? Why or why not?
Teaching Point Two: Accept the unacceptable.
In our rst study about honest anger, we learned that anger is often a response to loss. Part
of the grief process is admitting anger and then dealing with it. At the end of the process,
acceptance appears. We begin to accept the loss as part of our journey, and we move toward
healing.
This acceptance can happen without hardening our hearts toward God. When we believe
that God truly loves us, the difcult circumstances dont seem so unacceptable. Since God is
sovereign, he knows what he is allowing into our lives. But trust sometimes doesnt reappear
until the healing is almost complete.
Writer Larry Libby explains his feelings in an article titled Prayers from the Edge
(Discipleship Journal archives). Libbys wife died young, and he struggled to make sense of
the tragedy. With my world reeling, he writes, I found I didnt have the faith I thought I
had. I still believed in God. Still believed in his goodness. But I just couldnt trust him. I was
too wounded.
When we face unacceptable situations, we learn to trust without understanding. None of
us can truly understand God. Hes a mystery. Its the same in any relationship. Men dont
really understand women, and Venus cant gure out Mars. But somehow, we work out
our relationships and learn to believe in each other. If we truly love another person, we
work at trust. The same process happens in our relationship with God. Even when we cant
understand his reasoning, we can crawl back to the place of trusting him. We can believe he
personally loves us.
Read Habakkuk 3:1719.
18
Habakkuk was a minor prophet with a major message. He lived during the same time frame
as Jeremiah and, evidently, he was a man of great faith. This section of his book reveals
how to trust in spite of circumstances. Although the crops failed and no livestock survived,
Habakkuk decided to rejoice. He was determined to be joyful, to trust in Gods strength and
believe in his love. He focused on God, instead of his circumstances. Eventually, he knew
Gods love would enable him to climb to the heights of belief.
[Q] What in the past has convinced you of Gods love for you?
[Q] What have you learned about trust through the unacceptable parts of life?
[Q] Have you felt the way Libby describes: too wounded to trust? Explain.
[Q] How have you trusted Gods love even when your Why? questions werent
answered?
[Q] Is it possible to believe God loves you when you cant logically understand him?
[Q] How has a human relationship taught you about trusting in Gods love?

Teaching Point Three: Make a move forward.
Libby gives advice about the rst steps toward trust. Inch back toward God. Make some kind
of movement in his direction, even if its only a glance, a sigh, a tear, a mufed cry in the night.
Start in your mistrust and disbelief. Start in your doubt. Start in your anger and grief.
When were angry with a person, its hard to make that rst move toward reconciliation. Its
even harder to reconcile with God, because he sometimes feels so far away. We cant touch him,
and when were really mad at him, we dont hear what hes trying to say.
God made the process easy for us, because he made the rst move with Jesus. We dont have to
grit our teeth to make things right. God already did that. He took the rst step, and even now
he stands with his arms reaching toward us. Our part is to honestly express our feelings and
respond from where we are. I dont like this, God, and Im still angry. But Ill trust that you
know whats going on and you still love me.
This may feel like hypocrisy, almost as if were lying to ourselves and certainly lying to God.
But its not. Its trusting that something is true, even if it doesnt feel like its true. It gets easier,
one step at a time. Eventually, one step becomes two and then three. At some point, if we keep
believing and acting out that belief, well be running back to Godfull of love for him and
accepting love from him.
Read Psalm 32:811.
19
It almost makes more sense to read verse 8 after verse 11. We begin our journey back to Gods
love feeling like a stubborn mule. But Gods love continues to surround us. As we believe in Gods
unfailing love, we learn to rejoice, to sing and be glad. God instructs us, counsels us, teaches us, and
watches over us.
If anger is blocking the way, we cant hear his instruction. If we continue to be stubborn, holding
that anger against God, we cant hear his voice or feel him surrounding us. But when we honestly
admit the anger, work through the process and release itwell hear divine counsel that will show
us the direction we should go.
Franklin Graham, son of Billy and Ruth Graham, writes in Living Beyond the Limits (Zondervan,
1998): If we want to be used by God, we have no other choice than to trust ourselves to his care.
[Q] How has God instructed you or counseled you in the last year?
[Q] Have you had trouble hearing from God? Do you think its because of anger? Why or
why not?
[Q] What is one step you have made toward believing God loves you?
[Q] What are practical ways you can continue to believe in Gods love, especially when
youre angry?
[Q] What might be some ways that will help you feel Gods love surrounding you? For
example: seeing the beauty of nature, being with those you love and who love you, reading
uplifting words of his love in the Bible, singing hymns of praise, etc.
Read Lamentations 3:1626.
The weeping prophet, Jeremiah, understood how difcult it is to trust Gods love when were
angry and bitterly disappointed about life. The Book of Lamentations is a series of laments,
expressions of sorrow and regret. Jeremiah remembered his afictions and wanderings. He was
honest enough with God to admit his own bitterness and discouragement. He has broken my
teeth with gravel; he has trampled me in the dust. I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten
what prosperity is. So I say, My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the Lord (vv.
1618).
Yet Jeremiah had hope, because he reminded himself of the Lords great love. He recalled the
compassions of the Lord that never failed. In fact, new compassions (mercies) were available
20
every morning. Jeremiah focused on those compassions and waited for the salvation of the
Lord.
God is the same today as he was when Jeremiah wrote his laments. He is faithful to continue
in his love for us, no matter what happens. Every sunrise brings new compassions and more
opportunities to experience Gods love for us. Since love is his character, we can trust him to
continue to love us and watch over us.
[Q] What are some of the yet moments youve had with Godwhen circumstances were
terrible, yet you remembered Gods love?
[Q] How can you discover new compassions every morning?
Action Point: Fully accept Gods love. Author Elizabeth George uses
acceptance as a background for the last chapter in her book Loving God with
All Your Mind (Harvest House, 2005), which she ends with: What greater way
is there to show our love for God than to fully accept his will and his ways in
our lives? Than to trust him fully and completely even in the dark?
As we face each new day, especially when we feel as if were alone, it helps to
remind ourselves of Gods love. Look in the mirror and face your doubts with
Gods truth. Speak what your inner soul already knows but may be too angry
to admit:
I dont understand what God is doing, but I dont have to understand it.
Its okay to ask, Why? but God doesnt have to give me an answer.
Gods character is love. Thats who he is.
The question really isnt Why?its Who?
God loves me today, and thats all I need to know.
Try speaking one of these bullet ideas on Monday and focusing on it all day.
Praise God for his truth, no matter what has happened to stir up your anger.
Try the next bullet point on Tuesday, and so onone step at a time. As we
speak the truth, our minds and hearts will begin to believe more of the truth
each day. Then, like Jeremiah, our lamentations will become patience and
praise. Anger will be replaced by trust, especially when were trusting in the
only one who loved us enough to die.
Rebecca Jay writes from Kansas, where she is still learning to trust, one step at a
time. She recites verses in the mirror every morning and often asks for new mercies.
21
Who Is God?
Believing God, by Beth Moore (B & H Publishing Group, 2004). Take God at his
word, believe his promises and, as a result, live a fuller life. Dont be afraid to set aside
your unbelief and experience the great blessings of Gods promises.
Ruthless Trust: The Ragamufns Path to God, by Brennan Manning (HarperOne,
2002). A life-changing discussion of how the whole of Christian practice can be
summed up in a single ve-letter wordtrust.
Trust: A Godly Womans Adornment, by Lydia Brownback (Crossway Books &
Bibles, 2008). In spite of frightening headlines and nerve-wracking circumstances,
Scripture says fear doesnt need to be part of the Christians life.
Looking Up When Life is Looking Down, by Beth Moore (Thomas Nelson, 2008).
Learn to see Gods gracious provision of love and faithfulness no matter what your
circumstances.
The Road Home, by Denise Jackson (Thomas Nelson, 2008). Amid the highs and
lows of life, we sometimes forget that God is at work and that he desires to be our all
in all.
Fight of Faith: Believing God in Difcult Times, by Bruce McDonald (Moody
Publishers, 2004). Written to encourage the weary to not lose heart, Bruce McDonald
penned this book after seeing countless examples of men and women who lost
condence in God.
Can God Be Trusted in Our Trials? by Tony Evans (Moody Publishers, 2004). Why
arent we promised an easy ride once we accept Jesus as our Savior? This book explores
why God allows trials, and then delivers practical steps for responding to them and
emerging victorious.
22
Current Issues
Scr i pt ure: Psal m 32: 811; Lament at i ons 3: 1626; Habakkuk 3: 1719;
Romans 8: 3139; 1 John 4: 721
To resol ve our anger, we need t o t r ust God
because of our conf i dence i n hi s l ove.
Believe God
Loves You
Little children in Sunday school are taught
songs about Jesus love. Most of us have
memorized John 3:16, For God so loved
the world . We believe in Gods love
when life is easy, when we dont have many
problems. But now that were being honest
and admitting our anger, we may have difculty
believing that Gods love still includes us. Weve grown
up. We simply dont trust God any more.
How do we move from the heat of anger to the calm of faith? Are anger and
trust opposing emotions? Does God really love us, even when were angry?
In this study, well search for some answers to these questions.
23
How many of us have difculty believing in Gods unconditional love? Sometimes our anger
with God may come from the fact that we cant reconcile love with his seemingly unloving
actions. Since we cant understand his logic, we cant trust his heart. We want to believe God
loves us, and we think we trust him. But what happens to our trust when it feels like God has
dropped us?
Teaching Point Two: Accept the unacceptable.
Teaching Point Three: Make a move forward.
God is the same today as he was when Jeremiah wrote his laments. He is faithful to continue
in his love for us, no matter what happens. Every sunrise brings new compassions and more
opportunities to experience Gods love for us. Since love is his character, we can trust him to
continue to love us and watch over us.
Action Point: Fully accept Gods love. Author Elizabeth George uses
acceptance as a background for the last chapter in her book Loving God with
All Your Mind (Harvest House, 2005), which she ends with: What greater way
is there to show our love for God than to fully accept his will and his ways in
our lives? Than to trust him fully and completely even in the dark?
As we face each new day, especially when we feel as if were alone, it helps to
remind ourselves of Gods love. Look in the mirror and face your doubts with
Gods truth. Speak what your inner soul already knows but may be too angry
to admit:
I dont understand what God is doing, but I dont have to understand it.
Its okay to ask, Why? but God doesnt have to give me an answer.
Gods character is love. Thats who he is.
24
The question really isnt Why?its Who?
God loves me today, and thats all I need to know.
Try speaking one of these bullet ideas on Monday and focusing on it all day.
Praise God for his truth, no matter what has happened to stir up your anger.
Try the next bullet point on Tuesday, and so onone step at a time. As we
speak the truth, our minds and hearts will begin to believe more of the truth
each day. Then, like Jeremiah, our lamentations will become patience and
praise. Anger will be replaced by trust, especially when were trusting in the
only one who loved us enough to die.
Rebecca Jay writes from Kansas, where she is still learning to trust, one step at a
time. She recites verses in the mirror every morning and often asks for new mercies.
Who Is God?
Believing God, by Beth Moore (B & H Publishing Group, 2004). Take God at his
word, believe his promises and, as a result, live a fuller life. Dont be afraid to set aside
your unbelief and experience the great blessings of Gods promises.
Ruthless Trust: The Ragamufns Path to God, by Brennan Manning (HarperOne,
2002). A life-changing discussion of how the whole of Christian practice can be
summed up in a single ve-letter wordtrust.
Trust: A Godly Womans Adornment, by Lydia Brownback (Crossway Books &
Bibles, 2008). In spite of frightening headlines and nerve-wracking circumstances,
Scripture says fear doesnt need to be part of the Christians life.
25
Looking Up When Life is Looking Down, by Beth Moore (Thomas Nelson, 2008).
Learn to see Gods gracious provision of love and faithfulness no matter what your
circumstances.
The Road Home, by Denise Jackson (Thomas Nelson, 2008). Amid the highs and
lows of life, we sometimes forget that God is at work and that he desires to be our all
in all.
Fight of Faith: Believing God in Difcult Times, by Bruce McDonald (Moody
Publishers, 2004). Written to encourage the weary to not lose heart, Bruce McDonald
penned this book after seeing countless examples of men and women who lost
condence in God.
Can God Be Trusted in Our Trials? by Tony Evans (Moody Publishers, 2004). Why
arent we promised an easy ride once we accept Jesus as our Savior? This book explores
why God allows trials, and then delivers practical steps for responding to them and
emerging victorious.
26
Current Issues
Scr i pt ure: Psal m 13; 139: 116; John 11: 1732; Hebrews 10: 3539;
1 John 1: 17
As we devel op an hones t r el at i ons hi p
wi t h God, our t r us t bl es s es hi m.
Bless and
Honor God
God wants to relate to uspersonally and
individually. He has purpose in all that
happens to us, so we can fnd a new type
of reasoning within our anger. Instead of
always wanting God to bless us (at least in
the way we want to be blessed) and growing
mad when he doesnt, we can learn to bless
and honor him.
But how can we bless God when were so angry with him? Does God really
need us to bless him? Is blessing God just saying what we dont mean?
27
Bless and Honor God
Martin Luther said the rst rule of prayer is, Dont lie to God. Thats a good rule for any
relationship, but especially when the other person in the relationship reads our minds and
knows our deepest motives. Its important to trust God enough to tell him how we feel
even if that truth includes anger.
Nothing we do or think will ever surprise God. He knows us better than we know
ourselves. He gave everything so that we could share a relationship with him. But in order
to strengthen that relationship and learn more about this divine being, we need to be
totally honest. That honesty is a sign of trust. As we tell God the truth, with the respect
he deserves, we show him that were not afraid of the relationship. That trust and respect
blesses God.
Most of us can list several blessings we have received as a result of our Christian
experiencehealings, guidance for decisions, the security of an eternity in paradise. But
how many times do we think about blessing God? Loving him, trusting him, and telling
him the truth blesses God. As we grow in the relationship and tell God the truth, we
become a blessing to him.
Anne Lamott writes in her book Traveling Mercies (Random House, 1999), The most
honest prayer is Help me, help me, help me followed by Thank you, thank you, thank
you.
[Q]
If you could describe your relationship with God in one word or phrase, what
would it be?
[Q] Do you spend any time thinking about how you can truly love God? If so, what
kind of conclusions have you come to?
[Q] Is complete honesty with God a form of respect? Why or why not?
[Q] Are you ever afraid of approaching God? Explain.
[Q] What has been the most honest prayer youve ever prayed?
28
Bless and Honor God
Any successful relationship is based on risk. Its scary to ask someone out for a date;
even scarier to go on that date. Walking down the aisle to marry that one special person
involves a risk. Trusting God with everyday life is risky, too. Sometimes its easier to trust
God with eternity than with Monday through Friday.
But the quality of our relationship with God is based on honesty, and love takes the risk.
God is the one who keeps our hearts beating and blood pulsing through our veins. But
hes also the one who dripped his own blood on a splintered cross so that we could know
what relationship with him is all about.
Taking the risk to be honest about our anger shows that we trust in the relationship.
Good marriages involve trust. Quality friendships share honest emotions, even anger.
Our relationship with God is no different. Its based on trusting enough to let go and tell
God how we feel. Read Psalm 139:116.
King David reminds us that God knows everything about us: when we sit or rise, when
we go out or lie down. We cant run away from him, because he always knows where we
are. God is familiar with all our ways and perceives our thoughts. Sometimes, he also
hems us in. Maybe thats when we need to be most honest with Godwhen we feel
hemmed in.
[Q] How easy do you nd it to be honest with God?
[Q] Give both a negative and a positive example of what it would mean to be
hemmed in.
What does it mean to be hemmed in with God?
[Q] What is your most trusting relationship with another person? How does it
compare with your relationship with God?
In the book Blessing the King of the Universe (Messianic Jewish Publishers, 2004), author
Irene Lipson describes Jesus attitude. He never compared himself to anyone else, nor did
he complain because life wasnt fair. He was honest with God and others, developing the
most pure and sincere relationships wherever he went. Yeshua wasted no energy on if
onlys. He had no regrets about who he was Gods hands are sure hands. He makes no
mistakes.
29
Bless and Honor God
Since Gods hands are sure hands, forming us and planning our lives before we were born,
we can trust him to work out the messiness of life. But when the plan doesnt make sense, we
can take the risk and honestly ask God about it.
[Q] What messes in your life are you having trouble seeing Gods purpose in?
[Q] Have you ever blessed or praised God when your circumstances didnt make sense?
What happened to your attitude?
Teaching Point Two: Refine the relationship.
Getting to know each other over time helps develop relationships. Couples who have been
married 40+ years can often nish each others sentences. They almost know what the other
one is thinking, because theyve spent so much time together and theyve learned to relate
honestlyeven when theyre angry.
But our relationship with God is a little tricky. The Bible reminds us that God is mysterious
and so much greater than we can imagine. Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you
probe the limits of the Almighty? (Job 11:7).
In order to grow closer to God and learn how to bless him, we need to communicate well
and often. We need to spend time with him, study the book that tells us about him, and let
those who are wiser mentor us. Learning to know God and rene the relationship takes a
lot of emotional and spiritual energy. It takes time and effort, but its certainly worth it
especially when we realize were learning how to bless him. Read 1 John 1:17.
The apostle John uses three concepts to rene the relationship with God: fellowship, light,
and joy. Fellowship comes through communication, which centers on the Word of God.
We know how to fellowship with each otherpotlucks, coffee breaks, and small groups.
But fellowship with God is deeper. As we learn to fellowship with God, we prepare for an
eternity in his presence.
Light exposes truth, so the longer we stay in the light, the less we walk in darkness. If were
living in the darkness of unexpressed anger, were not telling the truth and were not in
fellowship with God. John also writes about his joy being complete as his readers learn to
fellowship with God. How much greater is Gods joy as we rene our relationship with him.
[Q] How do you fellowship with God? Name practical ways.
[Q]
Are there any areas where you are walking in darkness?
[Q] How do we stay in the light?
[Q] What kinds of relationships bring you joy?
30
Bless and Honor God
[Q] Are you experiencing joy in your relationship with God? Why or why not?
Thinking about the relationships that bring you joy, what can you apply to
your relationship with God?
[Q] Do you think your current relationship with God is a blessing to him? Explain.
Optional Activity: Think about your most successful relationship. What is it about that
relationship that makes it so worthwhile? Describe that relationship to the members of the group.
When everyone has had a chance to do this, take what youve learned and discuss some ways that
you can rene your relationship with God to make it more successful.

Teaching Point Three: Learn from the ladies.
Read John 11:1732.
Martha and Mary spent quality time with their friend Jesus. Jesus liked to hang out at their
home in Bethany, where he could taste Marthas newest recipes, joke with Lazarus, and share
deep truths with Mary. They were close to him and honest with him. They trusted him, and it
must have blessed him because he kept coming back.
On one occasion, Martha complained because Mary wasnt helping her in the kitchen. Lord,
dont you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me (Luke
10:40). Jesus listened and gave an honest answer: Mary has chosen what is better, and it will
not be taken away from her (Luke 10:42). Martha knew how to give and take with Jesus. She
approached him honestly about the problem, and she let him respond. For a man who was
about to take on the Cross, it must have been a blessing to have such an honest friendship.
Later, after Lazarus had died, both Martha and Mary let Jesus know they didnt appreciate his
late arrival. Both women used the phrase, If you had been here. They knew Jesus could have
healed their brother. All he had to do was speak one word, and they wouldnt have had to walk
through grief. But he didnt come in time. The ladies basically asked, Whats the deal, Lord?
We sent word that Lazarus was sick. Why didnt you hurry to Bethany and heal our brother?
Jesus took the time to listen to both women. He discussed the resurrection with Martha and
made clear that he was that life. Then he did the improbable thing and brought her brother
back to life. An amazing fact in this story is not that Jesus can raise the dead. He is, after all,
divine. Whats incredible is that these two women, who were angry at the son of God, werent
afraid to confront him. Their relationship was so solid, they could ask him hard questions.
31
Bless and Honor God
[Q] Whats a hard question you would like to ask God? Whats keeping you from
asking it?
Anne Lamott approaches the hard questions in her essays about faith. She wonders about the
expansive measure of Gods love. The mystery of Gods love as I understand it is that God
loves the man who is being mean to his dog just as much as he loves babies he loves the
mother who drowns her sons as much as he loves the religious leader so of course he loves
old ordinary me, loves me, chooses me.
[Q] Do you really believe God loves you with an expansive love?
[Q] Why do you think God loves you? Why did he choose you?
[Q] In what ways would you like to improve your relationship with God?
Teaching Point Four: Move to the next level.
We can spend a lot of money on self-help books and therapists, trying to improve ourselves
and solidify our relationships. The latest ads show us what to wear to impress people. Internet
sites help us nd someone who will be our soul mate. But we dont always focus on building a
stronger relationship with God. That topic seems too surreal.
Maybe its because relating to God is too risky, too much of a threat for our inner selves.
Perhaps were fear-based people. The status quo is more comfortable. Were saved. We know
were going to heaven and thats good enough. We dont have time for anything more.
But at some point, we need to dig deeper. When we face emotional battles and nd ourselves
begging God to help us, we yearn to talk to him face to face. Maybe our anger is blocking
our faith, and we cant nd God anymore. How do we move to the next level and honestly
approach the problem? Read Psalm 13.
King David, shepherd boy and man after Gods own heart, had plenty of questions. He felt as
if God was hiding, and the enemy was winning. Look on me and answer, he wrote. How
long must I wrestle with my thoughts?
Throughout the Psalms, David searched for a deeper relationship with God. Maybe thats one
reason why he was a man after Gods own heart. Surely, it must have blessed God to hear the
honesty of the shepherd boy and the cries of the king. David tunneled his way into the next
level by afrming his trust in God. He rejoiced in salvation and believed that God loved him.
He trusted God enough to be honest about his frustrations. He reminded God that he was in
desperate need. Then he dumped it on God and said, I trust you.
32
Bless and Honor God
[Q] Can you relate to Psalm 13? Do you feel as if God has forgotten you? What thoughts
are you wrestling with?
[Q] Have you ever demanded an answer from God? Do you think you should?
The writer of Hebrews had a handle on building a relationship with God. The theme of
Hebrews could be described as: Consider Jesus.
Even when were angry with God, we can stop and consider Jesus. We can think about
everything he has done for us, and we can bless him by focusing on Jesus. As difcult as that
may seem, it truly can transform your attitude. Read Hebrews 10:3539.
Action Point: The author of Hebrews gives us plenty to think about as we
try to bless God and grow in our relationship with him. Several points
include:
Be confident. Dont throw away your confidence in God. Think about
the future reward. Build on that confidence and increase your faith.
Believe that you will receive what God has promised.
Persevere. Dont quit. Keep your faith alive. Keep moving forward
and upward.
Do the will of God. Trust. Obey. Love. Be honest.
Remember this is all temporary. Whatever youre going through now
is brief compared with the joy and reward of eternity.
Its necessary to move beyond your anger to go deeper with God. Do
you have a desire to move to a deeper level of relationship with him? If
so, whats your next step?
Pray this prayer daily this week and see where it leads you: Help me,
God, to be honest with you. I dont understand why _______________
happened to me. I dont like it, and it seems more painful than I
can bear. But for some reason, Im going through this right now. I
choose to keep believing in you and trusting you, even though I dont
understand. I want to persevere. Please help me to bless and honor
you, even in the midst of my confusion. Amen.
Rebecca Jay writes from the Bible Belt, where shes learning to cinch it tighter
and move in deeper with God.
33
Bless and Honor God
Who Is God?
(Resources for Changing Lives, 2003). Jones contends that we need to
humbly bring God our struggles, doubts, and questions. We must learn to be
transparent in Gods presence, think biblically, and act obediently.
Blessing the King of the Universe: Transforming Your Life Through the
Practice of Biblical Praise, by Irene Lipson (Messianic Jewish Publishers,
2004). Learning how to bless God elevates all aspects of a persons existence to
provide great joy throughout each day.
Whats Good About Feeling Bad? Finding the Blessing in the Midst of Lifes
Difculties, by John Thomas and Gary R. Habermas (Tyndale House, 2008).
This book is the roadmap you need to make it through your pain and emerge a
stronger, wiser and more complete person than ever before.
Experiencing Intimacy with God, by Joseph M. Stowell (Radio Bible Class,
2006). Sometimes we push thoughts of God aside. These words of counsel are
from a longtime pastor and Christian leader about how to experience intimacy
with God.
Trusting God in Times of Adversity, by Kay Arthur and Pete DeLacy (Harvest
House Publishers, 2003). Serious questions about righteousness, faith, and God
from the life of Job.
Risk: Are You Willing to Trust God with Everything? by Kenny Luck (Random
House, 2006). Jesus challenges us to throw predictability, control, safety, and
comfort out the window and go to the next level in our faith.
Why? Trusting God When You Dont Understand, by Anne Graham Lotz
(Thomas Nelson, 2005). Examining the heartbreaking problem of suffering
34
Bless and Honor God
with keen insights from the story of Lazarus and other Gospel accounts.
Is God Really in Control? Trusting God in a World of Terrorism, Tsunamis and
Personal Tragedy, by Jerry Bridges (NAV Press, 2006). Understanding what
God is up to in the midst of personal and global tragedy.
35
Current Issues
Scr i pt ure: Psal m 13; 139: 116; John 11: 1732; Hebrews 10: 3539;
1 John 1: 17
As we devel op an hones t r el at i ons hi p
wi t h God, our t r us t bl es s es hi m.
Bless and
Honor God
God wants to relate to uspersonally and
individually. He has purpose in all that
happens to us, so we can fnd a new type
of reasoning within our anger. Instead of
always wanting God to bless us (at least in
the way we want to be blessed) and growing
mad when he doesnt, we can learn to bless
and honor him.
But how can we bless God when were so angry with him? Does God really
need us to bless him? Is blessing God just saying what we dont mean?
36
Bless and Honor God
Martin Luther said the rst rule of prayer is, Dont lie to God. Thats a good rule for
any relationship, but especially when the other person in the relationship reads our
minds and knows our deepest motives. Its important to trust God enough to tell him
how we feeleven if that truth includes anger.
Nothing we do or think will ever surprise God. He knows us better than we know
ourselves. He gave everything so that we could share a relationship with him. But in
order to strengthen that relationship and learn more about this divine being, we need
to be totally honest. That honesty is a sign of trust. As we tell God the truth, with the
respect he deserves, we show him that were not afraid of the relationship. That trust
and respect blesses God.
Most of us can list several blessings we have received as a result of our Christian
experiencehealings, guidance for decisions, the security of an eternity in paradise.
But how many times do we think about blessing God? Loving him, trusting him, and
telling him the truth blesses God. As we grow in the relationship and tell God the
truth, we become a blessing to him.
Anne Lamott writes in her book Traveling Mercies (Random House, 1999), The most
honest prayer is Help me, help me, help me followed by Thank you, thank you,
thank you.

Teaching Point One: Take the risk.
Teaching Point Two: Refine the relationship.
Teaching Point Three: Learn from the ladies.
Teaching Point Four: Move to the next level.
37
Bless and Honor God
The writer of Hebrews had a handle on building a relationship with God. The theme
of Hebrews could be described as: Consider Jesus.
Even when were angry with God, we can stop and consider Jesus. We can think about
everything he has done for us, and we can bless him by focusing on Jesus. As difcult
as that may seem, it truly can transform your attitude. Read Hebrews 10:3539.
Action Point: The author of Hebrews gives us plenty to think about
as we try to bless God and grow in our relationship with him. Several
points include:
Be confident. Dont throw away your confidence in God. Think
about the future reward. Build on that confidence and increase
your faith. Believe that you will receive what God has promised.
Persevere. Dont quit. Keep your faith alive. Keep moving forward
and upward.
Do the will of God. Trust. Obey. Love. Be honest.
Remember this is all temporary. Whatever youre going through
now is brief compared with the joy and reward of eternity.
Its necessary to move beyond your anger to go deeper with God.
Do you have a desire to move to a deeper level of relationship with
him? If so, whats your next step?
Pray this prayer daily this week and see where it leads you:
Help me, God, to be honest with you. I dont understand why
_______________ happened to me. I dont like it, and it seems more
painful than I can bear. But for some reason, Im going through
this right now. I choose to keep believing in you and trusting you,
even though I dont understand. I want to persevere. Please help
me to bless and honor you, even in the midst of my confusion.
Amen.
Rebecca Jay writes from the Bible Belt, where shes learning to cinch it
tighter and move in deeper with God.
38
Bless and Honor God
Who Is God?
Angry at God? Bring Him Your Doubts and Questions, by Robert D.
Jones (Resources for Changing Lives, 2003). Jones contends that we need to
humbly bring God our struggles, doubts, and questions. We must learn to
be transparent in Gods presence, think biblically, and act obediently.
Blessing the King of the Universe: Transforming Your Life Through the
Practice of Biblical Praise, by Irene Lipson (Messianic Jewish Publishers,
2004). Learning how to bless God elevates all aspects of a persons existence
to provide great joy throughout each day.
Whats Good About Feeling Bad? Finding the Blessing in the Midst of
Lifes Difculties, by John Thomas and Gary R. Habermas (Tyndale House,
2008). This book is the roadmap you need to make it through your pain
and emerge a stronger, wiser and more complete person than ever before.
Experiencing Intimacy with God, by Joseph M. Stowell (Radio Bible Class,
2006). Sometimes we push thoughts of God aside. These words of counsel
are from a longtime pastor and Christian leader about how to experience
intimacy with God.
Trusting God in Times of Adversity, by Kay Arthur and Pete DeLacy
(Harvest House Publishers, 2003). Serious questions about righteousness,
faith, and God from the life of Job.
Risk: Are You Willing to Trust God with Everything? by Kenny Luck
(Random House, 2006). Jesus challenges us to throw predictability, control,
safety, and comfort out the window and go to the next level in our faith.
39
Bless and Honor God
Why? Trusting God When You Dont Understand, by Anne Graham Lotz
(Thomas Nelson, 2005). Examining the heartbreaking problem of suffering
with keen insights from the story of Lazarus and other Gospel accounts.
Is God Really in Control? Trusting God in a World of Terrorism, Tsunamis
and Personal Tragedy, by Jerry Bridges (NAV Press, 2006). Understanding
what God is up to in the midst of personal and global tragedy.
40
Current Issues
Scr i pt ure: Genesi s 50: 1521; Job 40: 114; Psal m 103; John 17: 2026;
Phi l i ppi ans 2: 511
Lear ni ng t o t hank God f or ever yt hi ng
wi l l hel p r el i eve our anger.
Replacing
Anger
It seems impossible, but with a little practice
and a lot of grit, we can become grateful
people. The place to begin is by replacing
our anger with praise. The Bible reminds
us to be thankful in all circumstances, and
we can fnd examples throughout Scripture.
We might even see it in daily life. Some people
seem to know how to fnd that elusive place of
thanksgiving. Is it a genetic tendency toward joy? Or is it a life time of
discipline? Can we lose the anger and replace it with a better attitude?
41
Replacing Anger
Counselors tell us that a way to defeat temptations and addictions is to replace them with
something else. Smokers try gum. Alcoholics attend support groups. Carb lovers munch on
broccoli.
But anger at God comes from a deep emotional and spiritual wound. Replacing that anger
is tricky. First, we have to deal honestly with our anger. Then we must want to replace
it, because staying stuck in the pain is often easier than dealing with it. We know pain is
supposed to grow patience in us, but its hard to be patient. When we cant see anything
growing, its easier to let the anger fester.
Renee tried for six years to get pregnant. Doctors didnt know why she couldnt conceive.
Everything seemed ne, but no baby. Finally, when Renee and her husband decided they
should adopt a child, she suddenly conceived. Everyone rejoiced and praised God. Renee
reveled in her pregnancy and started decorating the nursery. Twelve weeks later, her baby
died inside her and slipped into eternity.
After a short hospital stay, Renee returned home. She shook her st at God and screamed,
What kind of a sick joke is this? You nally give me a baby, and then you take it away!
Renee soothed her anger with several months of binge eating.
King David asked God the hard questions and recorded it in Psalm 43. After ranting at
God for a while about the unfairness of his life, he ended the song with a question for
himself. Why so disturbed within me? (v. 5). Then he answered his own question with a
formula: Hope in God. Praise him. Remember hes the Savior.
He replaced his anger with a different focus.
[Q]
What is disturbing you?
[Q] Does your anger seem irreplaceable? Why?
[Q] Think about any temptations youve successfully replaced with something else. Can
you use that experience to help you replace anger with gratitude?
[Q] What is most gratifying about staying angry with God?
42
Replacing Anger
Teaching Point One: Be intrigued with God.
The more we learn about God, the more we begin to understand some of the ways he
works. As we focus on who God is, we worry less about why things happen to us or what
God is doing. Some of the things we already know about God include his faithfulness
and love. He is trustworthy, even if we feel like hes betrayed us. He cannot lie, and he
promises to never abandon us. But he is, after all, God. He is sovereign, in control, and
aware of all the reasons why things happen to us.
In a devotional booklet called Experiencing Intimacy with God (Radio Bible Class, 2006),
author Joseph Stowell writes, God seeks us in the inner sanctum of our hearts. If its
intimacy we want, we need to be more intrigued with the Giver than the gifts.
Sometimes were angry with God because we dont really have that intimate a relationship
with him. We feel lost and wonder why God isnt moving in closer. If he loves us with an
everlasting love, then where has he disappeared to? Why is it so hard to be honest and feel
God at the same time?
Stowell goes on to write that God designed us to have a heart relationship with him. We
can expect him to provide for us and to meet our deepest needs. We can also expect him
to love us. But how can we return that love when were dealing with so much anger? We
do it by replacing the anger with a stronger relationship.
[Q] How do you feel about your relationship with God? Is it all you want it to be?
Why or why not?
[Q] Read Job 40:114. How does God deal with Jobs questions?
[Q] Do you feel that your anger at God is justied? Explain.
[Q] How has God shown his sovereign will in your life?
[Q] How have you tried to save yourself?
[Q] God asked Job some penetrating questions. What questions might God be
asking you?
43
Replacing Anger
Optional Activity: List all the things you know about God from personal experience
(negative or positive). Put a check by the ones that feed your anger. Describe how God has shown
himself to you through negative circumstances. Talk with the group about what you have learned
from these difcult situations. Write a prayer, using gratitude to address what you have learned.
Share the prayer with your group.
In the book Blessing the King of the Universe (Messianic Jewish Publishers, 2004), author
Irene Lipson describes Jesus attitude. He never compared himself to anyone else, nor did he
complain because life wasnt fair. He was honest with God and others, developing the most
pure and sincere relationships wherever he went. Yeshua wasted no energy on if onlys. He
had no regrets about who he was Gods hands are sure hands. He makes no mistakes.
Teaching Point Two: Be aware of God.
Even in the middle of our most angry moments, God is with us. He isnt afraid of our
anger, and he doesnt leave the room when we spout off. When we cant express how we feel,
God approaches us through the Bible, other people, and circumstances. He wants us to be
aware of him at all times, because he really is in love with us. One bestselling ction author
describes Gods love with the statement, He is very fond of you.
Read John 17:2026.
Jesus was very fond of his disciple, John. Although John, one of the sons of thunder (Mark
3:17), was nicknamed for his anger, he was also known as the disciple whom Jesus loved. If
we study the books John wrote, we can almost watch this thunderous man growing up. He
writes about love and Gods faithfulness, and calls new believers his children. John replaced
his anger with a greater awareness of Gods attributes.
One of the most beautiful passages in Scripture is John 1417. None of the other gospels
include these rich words Jesus spoke just before he went to the cross. John displays no anger
here. Instead, he shows us in chapter 17 how much Jesus cared. He includes the prayer Jesus
prayed for those of us yet to become believers. He asks us to be one with him and the rest of
the Trinity. He wants us to be unied in our love for each other and for God. He desires that
we see his glory and understand the intimate love he has for us.
Johns words remind us to think beyond our own emotions. We are to remain content and
rejoice, no matter what happens. Even when we arent happy with what God has allowed,
John encourages us to be grateful for Gods presence in us.
[Q] How does your anger interrupt your awareness of God?
44
Replacing Anger
[Q] How is God speaking to you regarding your anger?
[Q] What do you think Jesus meant when he prayed, I have given them the glory that
you gave me (John 17:22a)?
[Q] Do you think God is fond of you? Why or why not?
[Q] Does it encourage you to know that Jesus prayed for you before you were born?
Why or why not?
Teaching Point Three: Be humble before God.
Attitude is a condition of the mind, a bias or a disposition toward a certain subject. The
attitudes we have in life determine our reactions. If were anger-based, then were always ready
for conict. If we have an attitude of fear, we want to run. But attitudes of humility and praise
help us stay emotionally level. Life may be difcult, but it doesnt have to be impossible. We
can change our attitudes from the negative toward acceptance-based thoughts and behaviors.
We can learn gratitude.
Ann Spangler has written a daily guide to praise. Praying the Names of God (Zondervan, 2004)
includes Hebrew and Greek names for Yahweh, which also show his attributes. Terms such as
Elohim (the Lord God), El Roi (the God who sees), and Yahweh (I am) describe the greatness
of God. These terms remind us to be humble before this incredible deity and stay in gratitude.
This attitude of humility moves us toward a replacement of anger.
Spangler teaches us how to stay in humility and praise: Envision yourself as you really are
surrounded by the presence of your faithful God. Ask for his peace, pray for his protection
and open your life to his power. In this one sentence, Spangler includes three topics we can
praise God for: peace, protection, and power. When we focus on praise, anger leaves.
Read Philippians 2:511.
Having the same attitude as Christ may seem impossible, but he was a human being like us.
His life is an example for us. He struggled through puberty and difcult relationships. He
experienced rejection, and the end of his life was wretched. Yet he kept a humble attitude
before God. He had the heart of a servant, and he obeyed whatever God told him to do.
Although he wasnt afraid to question God (Why have you forsaken me?), he focused on
how he could glorify his Father.
[Q] What attitudes do you need to change?
[Q] Have you tried living with a servant heart at your workplace? At home?
45
Replacing Anger
[Q] Do you know any truly humble people? Describe them.
What kinds of attitudes do they exhibit when life turns sour?
[Q] Do you think humility is one of your prime attitudes? How can you improve?
Teaching Point Four: Be at peace.
Joseph is a favorite character in the Old Testament. His attitude as a young man was one of
arrogance, a result of the favoritism of his father. In retaliation, his older brothers sold him
into slavery. Joseph endured several years of prison, misunderstandings, and false accusations.
Yet he learned lessons of humility and patience.
Then one day, he had the opportunity to retaliate against his brothers. They bowed before
him, not realizing who he was, yet needing the food that he could provide. Surely Joseph
remembered the agony of his youth, yet we dont see anger in the mature Joseph. He teased
his brothers and tested the limits of their patience, then nally welcomed them into the riches
of Egypt. He cared for the entire clan and protected them during a severe famine. But when
their father died, Joseph had the opportunity for complete revenge.
Read Genesis 50:1521.
Joseph was a man of peace. He did not repay his brothers for the wrongs they did to him. He
accepted their apologies, forgave them, and looked for the positive things God had done. He
reassured them with his kindness and became an example for us. Joseph replaced his right to
be angry with forgiveness and peace.
As Joseph illustrates, we can bring our anger to God and be assured of his kindness to us. We
can confess our anger and know that God forgives us. As we look for the deeper meanings
behind the things that happen to us, we continue to express gratitude for Gods love. Then the
anger subsides, and we experience peace.
[Q] What is your favorite part of Josephs story?
[Q] Can you trust God for the unfair things that have happened to you?
[Q] Are you condent in the goodness of God? Why or why not?
[Q] How does an attitude of contentment, no matter the circumstances, help you stay in
praise?
46
Replacing Anger
Read Psalm 103.
Another version of this psalm begins, Bless the Lord, O my soul (New American
Standard). The sentiment continues throughout the psalm as David gives us examples of
blessings. The benets of being Gods child are evident in forgiveness, healings, and satised
desires. He mentions righteousness, justice, compassion, and love. But God also knows
how we are formed. He knows were a handful of dust, so hes designated eternity for usa
forever gift of intimacy with him.
Once we step into heaven, our anger wont matter any more. Everything will be perfect, and
well begin to understand why some things happened to us. We may see a heavenly video of
all the circumstances of our lives and how God was working to mature us, love us, and keep
us from something even more terrible. Or we may just suddenly have the mind of Christ
and anger wont exist.
But in the mundane things of life on earth, heaven feels far away. Thats when we have to
remind ourselves that were only visiting here. Life on earth is temporary. Soon well be on
our way home, so we might as well live in grateful peace while were here.
Action Point: Find a way to praise. Sometimes it helps to have focal
points. Three possibilities surface in our studies on anger with God:
1. God is sovereign. He knows what hes doing, and we dont.
2. Someday, it will all make sense. Focus on that someday.
3. God can make something good happen right now.
Speak these three points as a prayer. Write them on a 3 x 5 card and carry
them with you. Preface each thought with gratitude. Thank you God
that you are sovereign. Im so glad you know what youre doing, because
I dont. Thank you that someday it will all make sense. What Im going
through now and how I feel is only temporary. Thank you, God, that you
can make something good happen out of this mess. Im trusting you to do
that.
Even something as simple as the word Hallelujah dispels the anger and
keeps us in praise. Hallel is the Hebrew word for praise. Jah is a form of
Yahweh. So this word means Praise Yahweh. The only thing remaining is
U.
Rebecca Jay lives in Kansas, where she has written and taught Bible studies
on the subject of praise.
47
Replacing Anger
Who Is God?
Trusting God, by Jerry Bridges (NAV Press, 2008). Exploring three essential
truths about Godhis complete sovereignty, his innite wisdom, and his
perfect love.
Let Go: Live Free of the Burdens All Women Know, by Sheila Walsh (Thomas
Nelson, 2009). The journey to nd freedom from the toughest burdens that
weigh women down.
Radical Gratitude: Discovering Joy Through Everyday Thankfulness, by
Ellen Vaughn (Zondervan, 2005). How to be thankful during our darkest
hours. The powerful, life-changing gratitude that can be the key to daily joy.
The Attitude of Gratitude: Developing a Thankful Heart, by Nancy Leigh
DeMoss (Revive Our Hearts, 2000). How our physical, emotional, and
spiritual well-being are all affected by whether or not we have a grateful heart.
Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth, by Richard J. Foster
(HarperOne, 1998). How the disciplines of the spiritual life can become part
of our daily activities and how they help us shed our supercial habits, bringing
the abundance of God into our lives.
I Really Want to Change So, Help Me God, by James MacDonald (Moody
Publishers, 2000). A biblical, no-nonsense approach to help you tap into Gods
transforming power.
A Thankful Heart: How Gratitude Brings Hope and Healing to Our Lives, by
Carole Lewis (Gospel Light, 2005). Even in the midst of lifes worst tragedies,
an attitude of gratitude can make a world of difference.
48
Replacing Anger
Lord, Change My Attitude Before Its Too Late, by James MacDonald
(Moody Publishers, 2008). Reverse the negativity that sabotages your
happiness and learn to foster attitudes that bring you joy.
49
Current Issues
Scr i pt ure: Genesi s 50: 1521; Job 40: 114; Psal m 103; John 17: 2026;
Phi l i ppi ans 2: 511
Lear ni ng t o t hank God f or ever yt hi ng
wi l l hel p r el i eve our anger.
Replacing
Anger
It seems impossible, but with a little practice
and a lot of grit, we can become grateful
people. The place to begin is by replacing
our anger with praise. The Bible reminds
us to be thankful in all circumstances, and
we can fnd examples throughout Scripture.
We might even see it in daily life. Some people
seem to know how to fnd that elusive place of
thanksgiving. Is it a genetic tendency toward joy? Or is it a life time of
discipline? Can we lose the anger and replace it with a better attitude?
50
Replacing Anger
King David asked God the hard questions and recorded it in Psalm 43. After ranting
at God for a while about the unfairness of his life, he ended the song with a question
for himself. Why so disturbed within me? (v. 5). Then he answered his own question
with a formula: Hope in God. Praise him. Remember hes the Savior.
He replaced his anger with a different focus.

Teaching Point One: Be intrigued with God.
Teaching Point Two: Be aware of God.
Teaching Point Three: Be humble before God.
Teaching Point Four: Be at peace.
Once we step into heaven, our anger wont matter any more. Everything will be
perfect, and well begin to understand why some things happened to us. We may see
a heavenly video of all the circumstances of our lives and how God was working to
mature us, love us, and keep us from something even more terrible. Or we may just
suddenly have the mind of Christ and anger wont exist.
But in the mundane things of life on earth, heaven feels far away. Thats when we have
to remind ourselves that were only visiting here. Life on earth is temporary. Soon well
be on our way home, so we might as well live in grateful peace while were here.
Action Point: Find a way to praise. Sometimes it helps to have focal
points. Three possibilities surface in our studies on anger with God:
1. God is sovereign. He knows what hes doing, and we dont.
2. Someday, it will all make sense. Focus on that someday.
51
Replacing Anger
3. God can make something good happen right now.
Speak these three points as a prayer. Write them on a 3 x 5 card and
carry them with you. Preface each thought with gratitude. Thank you
God that you are sovereign. Im so glad you know what youre doing,
because I dont. Thank you that someday it will all make sense. What
Im going through now and how I feel is only temporary. Thank you,
God, that you can make something good happen out of this mess. Im
trusting you to do that.
Even something as simple as the word Hallelujah dispels the anger
and keeps us in praise. Hallel is the Hebrew word for praise. Jah is a
form of Yahweh. So this word means Praise Yahweh. The only thing
remaining is U.
Rebecca Jay lives in Kansas, where she has written and taught Bible
studies on the subject of praise.
Who Is God?
Trusting God, by Jerry Bridges (NAV Press, 2008). Exploring three
essential truths about Godhis complete sovereignty, his innite wisdom,
and his perfect love.
Let Go: Live Free of the Burdens All Women Know, by Sheila Walsh
(Thomas Nelson, 2009). The journey to nd freedom from the toughest
burdens that weigh women down.
Radical Gratitude: Discovering Joy Through Everyday Thankfulness, by
Ellen Vaughn (Zondervan, 2005). How to be thankful during our darkest
hours. The powerful, life-changing gratitude that can be the key to daily joy.
52
Replacing Anger
The Attitude of Gratitude: Developing a Thankful Heart, by Nancy Leigh
DeMoss (Revive Our Hearts, 2000). How our physical, emotional, and
spiritual well-being are all affected by whether or not we have a grateful
heart.
Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth, by Richard J.
Foster (HarperOne, 1998). How the disciplines of the spiritual life can
become part of our daily activities and how they help us shed our supercial
habits, bringing the abundance of God into our lives.
I Really Want to Change So, Help Me God, by James MacDonald
(Moody Publishers, 2000). A biblical, no-nonsense approach to help you tap
into Gods transforming power.
A Thankful Heart: How Gratitude Brings Hope and Healing to Our Lives,
by Carole Lewis (Gospel Light, 2005). Even in the midst of lifes worst
tragedies, an attitude of gratitude can make a world of difference.
Lord, Change My Attitude Before Its Too Late, by James MacDonald
(Moody Publishers, 2008). Reverse the negativity that sabotages your
happiness and learn to foster attitudes that bring you joy.
53
deeper
go
deeper
go
with multiweek courses
from ChristianBibleStudies.com
Introduce your group to over 200 ChristianBibleStudies.com courses
and get ready to go deepermore easily than ever before.
Choose from over 200 Courses on a Bible book
like Joshua and Galatians, a current issue like
bioethics and world religions, or a course specifically
for men, women, parents, or couples.

Anger With God

Transféré par

Informations du document

Copyright

Formats disponibles

Partager ce document

Partager ou intégrer le document

Options de partage

Avez-vous trouvé ce document utile ?

Ce contenu est-il inapproprié ?

Droits d'auteur :

Formats disponibles

Anger With God

Transféré par

Droits d'auteur :

Formats disponibles

1

Vous aimerez peut-être aussi