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CFC Singles for Christ



Manual v.2014

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Table of Contents
Chapter 1: Overview of the Training

About the HHT

Goals of the HHT
Qualifications of the New Household Leaders
Conduct of HHT

Chapter 2: Household Heads Orientation


About the HHO

Conduct of the HHO
The Sessions and Workshops
Suggested HHO Schedule
Notes on the HHO
Proposed Scheduling of HHO and HHTS
Expanded HHO Talk Outlines
Talk 1 - Being a Servant
Talk 2 - The Household
Talk 3 - Building Relationships
Talk 4 - Zeal and Single-mindedness for God

Chapter 3: Household Heads Teaching Series


About the HHTS

Conduct of the HHTS
The HHTS Sessions
Suggested HHTS Schedule
Expanded HHTS Talk Outlines
Talk 1 - Brotherly Love
Talk 2 - Prayer and Intercession
Talk 3 - Faith in God and Humble Leadership
Talk 4 - Good Example and Evangelistic Headship
Talk 5 - Correction and Encouragement
Talk 6 - Evaluation

Chapter 4: Annexes
A. HHO Workshops
Workshop 1 - Conducting One to ones
Workshop 2 - Leading a Prayer Meeting
Workshop 3 - Worship Leading --- In the House
of the Lord




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Attention to the Chapter Leaders

The past 20 years of CFC Singles for Christ is Gods affirmation of His great love for us
and the ministry. We are thus entrusted with the great and essential task of paving
the way for the next 20 years of our ministrys life and mission. Your role of training
our new Household Heads is vital in making sure that all our members will
experience the same love that will nourish and form them to be future bearers of
Gods light. We honor you for saying YES in leading this training. This manual will be
your guide to the new SFC HHT.

About the HHT

This training is catered for SFC members who were chosen and discerned to be
potential household heads. They should have finished at least the SFC Covenant
Orientation Weekend.

Goals of the HHT


Equip the members with the knowledge and skills they will need as
household heads.
Educate the members on their roles and responsibilities as well as the culture
they should help build in their areas as household heads.
Empower the soon to be household heads to carry out their anointed role
relying on the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit

Qualifications for new Household Heads

1. He or she must be an active member of SFC for at least one (1) year.
2. He or she must have attended already the Covenant Orientation Weekend
3. Candidates are recommended by their existing Household Heads for the
approval of the Chapter Leaders before undergoing the training.

Conduct of the HHT

1. The HHT is to be conducted at the chapter level led by the SFC Chapter
2. The HHT has two parts: Part 1 - Household Heads Orientation and Workshops
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(HHO), and Part 2 - Household Heads Teaching Series (HHTS).

The Household Heads Orientation (HHO), consisting of four talks and three
workshops, is given prior to the Household Heads assuming their positions.
The Household Heads Teaching Series (HHTS) is composed of 6 talks. Ideally,
these are to be given in 6 separate monthly sessions. Thus the whole HHT will
be completed within six months.
Members who have completed the HHT do not automatically become
Household Heads or Facilitators in the next CLP. If serious character concerns
and issues arise, they can be removed from the list of potential household
The SFC Unit Heads will be the service team together with the SFC Chapter
Leaders to facilitate more leaders interaction within the chapter. Existing
Household Leaders may also help as part of the service team but at the same
time experiencing the Sessions and Workshops as a refresher.

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Household Heads Orientation (HHO)

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About the HHO
The Household Heads Orientation (HHO) aims to set the hearts of the newly
discerned leaders for the task ahead and to equip them with the basic leadership
knowledge and skills that are needed.

Conduct of the HHO

1. The HHO is a 1 whole day (or 2 half days) activity conducted on a Chapter
level. It is recommended that this is done during the last quarter of the year.
(see related Table 1 on page 8)
2. Chapter leaders will facilitate the HHO with the help of the Unit Heads and
the existing Household Heads.
3. After the HHO, the Household Heads Training Series (HHTS) should follow
immediately to support the continuity of their formation and growth.

A.1. Household Heads Orientation (HHO)
Talk 1 - Being a Servant
Talk 2 - The Household: Purpose, Dynamics and Leadership
Talk 3 - Building Relationships
Talk 4 - Zeal and Single-mindedness for God
A.2. Household Heads Orientation Workshops
Workshop 1 - Conducting One to Ones
Workshop 2 - Leading a Prayer Meeting and Giving a Talk
Workshop 3 - Leading a Worship

Suggested whole day format of the HHO

8:00 AM

Arrival & Registration

Opening Worship
Ice Breaker
Talk 1: Being a Servant
Talk 2: The Household

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12:15 PM

Talk 3: Building Relationships

Workshop 1: Conducting One to Ones
Team Building/Energizer
Workshop 2: Leading a Prayer Meeting and Giving a Talk
Workshop 3: Leading a Worship
Talk 4: Zeal and single-mindedness for God
Open Forum
Closing Prayer

Optional half-day format:

Day 1
12:30 PM

Arrival & Registration

Opening Worship
Ice Breaker
Talk 1: Being a Servant
Talk 2: The Household
Break / Team Building Energizer
Talk 3: Building Relationship
Workshop: How to Conduct One to One
Closing Prayer

Day 2
12:30 PM

Arrival & Registration

Ice Breaker
Workshop: Leading a Prayer Meeting
Workshop: How to lead the Worship
Snacks / Team Building Energizer
Talk 4: Zeal and single-mindedness for God
Open Forum
Closing Prayer

Notes on the HHO

1. The worship may be led by an SFC Unit Head or an SFC Household Head.
2. The talks are encouraged to be given by an SFC Chapter Leader, SFC Unit
Head or an SFC Household Head.
3. The workshops may be given by an SFC Chapter Leader or an SFC Unit Head.
4. The open forum is handled by the SFC Chapter Leaders.
5. Creative activities (e.g. ice breakers, energizers, team-buildings, etc.) are
included in the program to facilitate ample interaction among the leaders
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within the chapter.
6. Workshops are included as well to train the incoming Household Heads on
some of their technical duties such as leading a worship, giving a talk,
conducting one to ones and leading a prayer meeting.
7. An open forum is suggested to be conducted at the end of the HHO to
entertain and address clarifications/questions from the trainees.

Table 1: Proposed Scheduling of HHO and HHTS with respect to our yearly Calendar.


CFC Conference
Evangelization Training
SFC Icon
CLP Training for Batch 1
CO Weekend for Batch 2
CLP Batch 1


CLP Batch 1


CLP Batch 1
ANCOP Global Walk


CFC Anniversary Week


CLP Training
CO Weekend for Batch 1
CLP Batch 2
CLP Batch 2
CLP Batch 2
CLP Batch 2
Christmas Party

CFC Activity
SFC Activity
CLP Batch 1

CLP Batch 2
Proposed yearly schedule of HHO and HHTS

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Notes on the HHT Scheduling

For the SFC International Missions

HHO and HHTS implementation follows the recommended template as

shown above.
Variables to be considered are the schedule of the Regional/National
The HHTS sessions may be adjusted to accommodate event/conference

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Expanded Outline
A. Introduction.
1. In order to be better Christian servants, we need to understand the nature of
Christian service.
a) We need to ask ourselves:

Why do we serve?
Who are we as servants?
How do we serve?

b) In order to answer these, we need a vision of reality that can clearly point
out to us the whole approach to service that we are to take. We need to
see the reality in the world around us not in the way that the world sees it,
but in the way God sees it.
2. There are two basic realities that we need to see.
a) There are two kingdoms opposed to one another, the kingdom of darkness
under Satan and the kingdom of light under our Lord.

Satan has real spiritual power (Ephesians 6:12). He has forces under
his control which are opposed to God and His followers.
Our enemy is not principally social problems, human weakness, lack of
education, etc., but a whole kingdom. Our battle is a spiritual one.
Thus anything we do that involves taking someone from the dominion
of Satan into the kingdom of light will involve us in this battle for the
hearts and minds of men. Any Christian service is automatically
spiritual warfare.

b) Man is in sin and bondage and needs to be redeemed.

The fundamental problem of the world is not social ills (this is just the
manifestation of the problem) but sin.
Man needs to be reconciled with God, and only Jesus is able to do
We are the instruments that God uses to bring other men back to
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c) The above two realities should form our vision for our Christian service.
3. Christian service is not simply what you do, but who or what you are as you
do it.
a) The emphasis is on being a servant rather than on doing service.
b) Luke 10:38-42. The story of Martha and Mary.

B. There are three important New Testament passages that we will examine in order
to clarify our understanding of what it means to be a servant.
1. Luke 17:7-10. The duty of a servant.
a) We have lost touch with the real meaning of the word "servant" as
understood in Jesus' time.
During those times, a servant (or slave) was someone who was another
person's property and had no rights whatsoever.
Thus Jesus' story must have been amusing to his listeners. They could
not comprehend a situation where the servant is served by his master.
b) We are the Lord's servants. We have been bought at the price of his blood.
We no longer own ourselves. We are to be men and women who serve the
Lord without regard for ourselves.
2. Philippians 2:5-8. The identity of a servant.
a) Christian service is not just another avenue for self-fulfillment. We have no
basis for insisting that God give us work to do that suits our personality,
interests or personal gains.
b) The Christian doesn't seek to serve himself. Rather, he humbles himself
and puts himself at the disposal of everyone else.

Jesus' example.

3. Hebrew 5:8. The obedience of a servant.

a) A requirement of the lordship of Jesus and our own servanthood is
obedience to his authority.

Obedience cannot be halfway or half-hearted. Either Jesus is Lord of

all areas of our life, or our ascription of master and Lord to him is

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C. Obstacles to obedience.
1. Natural disinclination to being a "servant".
a) We think of "servants" as lowly, doing menial work, unable to become
better on their own.
b) Solution: Correct concept of being the Lord's servant.
2. Natural disinclination to think of other people first instead of ourselves.
a) We often think first of what is good for us, what will fulfill us.
b) Solution: A fundamental reorientation of our lives.
Realize that a servant of the Lord never goes into a situation for
himself, but always looking out for how he can serve others.
3. Human rebelliousness.
a) Our fallen nature is inclined to say "I will not serve".
b) Solution: Repent, and resolve to obey.
4. Lack of trust (in the Lord, our heads, our brothers and sisters).
a) If I obey, will they take care of me? Can I rely on them?
b) Solution: Have faith!
Realize that God calls us to serve Him and will care for us as a loving
Realize that God puts other people in headship position over us and He
works through them.
Realize that God has called us into SFC to experience brotherhood and
sisterhood in the Lord.

D. Growing into maturity as Christian servants.

1. The Lord does not just want us to be enthusiastic and willing servants, but he
wants us to be mature Christian servants. He wants people he can truly count
2. Some signs of maturity:
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a) Christian wisdom and teachings are being applied to your lives.
b) Relationships (both with the Lord and with one another) are strong and
c) Faithfulness characterizes your lives.

Daily personal prayer.

Attendance at meetings.
Fidelity to service assigned.

d) You are men and women of your word. You can make commitments and
stick to them.
e) You are working on the various obstacles and shortcomings in your lives as

Every new day should be taken as an opportunity to become more


f) You are servants who can serve without having to be acknowledged,

appreciated or rewarded.
Though God and SFC do appreciate your efforts, our motivation is not
reward or recognition.
We simply serve out of our love for God and neighbor.
E. Conclusion.
1. The cost of servanthood. 2 Cor 11:23-28.
a) Perhaps none of us would ever have to go through Paul's experiences. But
being God's servant will involve some hardship and suffering.
b) All the difficulties involved with being a servant will produce joy for us.
There is a purpose for the difficulty.
2. Our lives are like a grain of wheat. Jn 12:24-26.
a) To be fruitful we must fall into the ground and die.
We die to our self-interest.
We put the Lord first.
b) Our dying to ourselves is life-giving to others.
3. We are all privileged to be the Lord's servants.
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Expanded Outline
A. Definition
A household is a grouping of singles who meet regularly during the week for
personal sharing and for mutual support and encouragement in the Christian
life. As such, the household is the basic unit in the pastoral structure of CFC
Singles for Christ (SFC).

B. Purpose
The purpose of the household group is to build an environment for the
support of the Christian life of singles and to provide a means of encou raging
and hastening growth in the Christian life. As such, the household:
1. Builds faith and provides for mutual encouragement through the
sharing of life experiences and Gods practical wisdom.
2. Provides friendship and brotherhood/sisterhood, without which our
Christian life lacks joyful expression.
3. Provides support for each others needs.
4. Helps people overcome obstacles to growth in the Christian life.

C. Composition
A household is composed of four to seven (4-7) singles including the
household head. The household is comprised of singles who finished the
Christian Life Program (CLP) and who have made their commitment to the
covenant of the CFC Singles for Christ. The household is set up immediately
after the end of the CLP.
In succeeding years (at least, after one year), there would be occasions when
households would be reorganized. During these occasions membership will
be changed and redistributed to other households, units and chapters.

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D. Necessity of Household Membership

Every SFC member is to belong to one household as one of its members. SFC
leaders (Household Heads, Unit Heads, and Chapter Leaders) all belong to
households for their own personal support in the Christian life. Thus, every
SFC leader participates in two households, one which he leads and the other
where he in turn is led.

E. The Household Head

1. Definition
The household head is the SFC brother or sister appointed to take care
of a household.
2. The Role of the Household Head
a. The Household Head is the designated leader over a group of
singles and is responsible for all the activities of the household and
for the good order of the household meeting.

honor and respect

b. The Household Head acts as an older brother/sister to the group.

Establishes strong personal relationships with his members.

Gets help for them whenever it is available.
Gives direction and listens completely to his members. Ideally,
at least, once a month through one-to-one sessions.

c. He/she gives pastoral support through household meetings done at

a minimum of two (2) times a month.
d. He/she also encourages his/her members to receive additional
pastoral support as they take part in the monthly Chapter Prayer
Assembly and Chapter Teaching Assembly as scheduled by the
Chapter Leaders.
e. He/she helps each member to be fully integrated into the
household and into CFC Singles for Christ.
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f. He/she has no authority over members lives but exercises concern
for their lives, especially in the areas of righteousness and good
g. He/she supports the life in SFC and the decisions of its elders.

Does not use the household meeting to ventilate

disagreements with SFC, CFC or its elders. In case of such
disagreement, he/she takes this up with his/her Unit Head.
Supports fully any decision on movements of singles from one
household to another, and helps these members make their
movements with ease and with minimal difficulty.

h. Raises up and recommends potential new household heads to

undergo the Household Heads Training (HHT) which is under the
supervision of his/her Chapter leaders.
3. Qualifications of a Household Head
The household head is selected based on the following criteria:
a. Availability
b. Formation

growing spiritually
good order in personal life
a good appreciation of the vision, mission and culture of SFC
faithful to SFC commitments
has taken the COW

c. Personal Characteristics

emotionally stable
able to accept correction and direction
has a good reputation

d. Skills

ability to handle a group discussion

good listening and communication skills
ability to provide adequate directions to members regarding
SFC commitments

e. An active member of SFC for at least one year.

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F. Attitudes of a Household Head

In order to properly function in a way that would truly be helpful to the
members of the household, the household head needs to have some basic
attitudes, to wit:
1. He/she must have the mind and heart of a servant. Just like the Lord
Jesus, he/she must come to serve rather than be served. His/her service
should be an expression of love for the Lord. He/she should be humble in
service and put the interest of his/her members first. He/she should be
obedient to the Lord and to those whom the Lord has put in charge of
his/her service.
2. He/she must look upon the singles under him/her as being given by the
Lord, to be cared for adequately. He/she has the responsibility to look
after their spiritual welfare, a charge coming directly from the Lord.
3. The household head must love them as brothers or sisters. They are not
just good friends, but family.
4. He/she must serve with gladness and joy. No matter what ones
difficulties are, how badly the day went, how strained ones relationships
with his/her family and friends are at the moment. The household head
needs to have the joy of the Lord, the joy of serving Him, the joy that
transcends all earthly difficulties. How he/she conducts himself/herself
will provide a living example to those who have been put in his/her care.
5. He/she must serve in trust and confidence. He/she needs to realize that
since the Lord has called him/her to do His work, then the Lord will equip
him/her with the wisdom and guidance necessary to be an effective
instrument of His will.

G. Some Areas of Challenge

The household head is not expected to exercise pastoral headship over
his/her group, but he/she would normally encounter certain pastoral
challenges which he/she cannot avoid or should not avoid, but for which
he/she should prudently seek help from the elders.
The household head should refer all serious pastoral concerns to his/her Unit
Head, who is the pastor of the members of the unit, which includes the
household. Of course, the Unit Head can direct the household head to handle
the situation himself/herself, with some input from him/her. But ultimately it
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is the responsibility and concern of the Unit Head. Putting it within the
context of a family (which a household is), the household head is the big
brother/sister while the Unit Head is the father/mother.
Some examples of issues that need to be referred to the Unit Head are:
1. Serious relationship problems within the singles family.
2. Issues which pastorally affect the unit or across units, e.g., financial
borrowing without proper consultation and clearance.
3. Unfaithfulness of members to meetings, requiring a decision to retain or
drop a member from SFC.
4. Slander or gossip which erodes relationships within the household/unit or
across units.
5. Serious wrongdoing.
6. Moral and theological questions, such as taxes, bribery vs. extortion,
penance, the sacraments, etc.
7. Proselytizing and ecumenical relationships.

H. Practical Considerations
Some of the concrete things the household head can and should do are:
1. Handle the practical concerns for household meetings.
a. places of meetings
b. topics for discussion/sharing
c. regulating an over-sharing member
d. how to stop gossip in the meeting
e. bringing the discussion to the agenda and keeping it on course
2. Know each member well. Keep notes on each one.
3. Be prayerful.
a. Pray for each member regularly during his own personal prayer time.
b. Spend time praying before the household meeting and entrusting it
to the Lord.
c. Pray over members when appropriate (birthdays, anniversaries,
when sick, for inner healing, etc.)
4. Be prepared and have an agenda. In other words, rely on the Lord, but
also do your part.
5. Focus on spiritual growth and God's power rather than on problems.
However, be sensitive to personal problems.
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6. Get the group to make agreements and account to one another
a. time of meeting, punctuality
b. right way of speaking about others
c. negative humor

I. Others
1. Always work on the faithfulness of members. Attendance at the
household meetings is part of a member's commitment and is a must.
2. Refer all frequent absentees to your Unit Head. Together you can discuss
the particular situation and decide on a course of action. Remember: the
strength of the body will depend on its members' faithfulness and
3. Always be on the lookout for potential leaders (CLP discussion leaders,
speakers, and household heads) and inform your Unit Heads or Chapter
Leaders about them. We want to identify them early, chart their
development and at the opportune time let them serve. Remember that
SFC can only grow in number to the extent that our leadership resources
4. Study and read, especially the books we publish. Keep ahead of your
5. Don't use the household meeting to ventilate your own personal
problems, nor seek help for such problems from the household members
under you. Rather, bring these to your Unit Head and to the unit
household of which you are a member.
6. If for any reason you feel you cannot do the job as a household head
adequately, discuss this with your Unit Head so that appropriate action
can be taken. Don't just let it go, with the result that your household
members suffer.


A. Attitudes of Household Members
In order to reap the full benefits to be offered by participation in a household
group, its members have to foster some basic attitudes, such as:
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1. Openness One has to be open to what the Lord wants to give through
the household group. One should realize that this is part of God's work
and in conformity with His plan for each person, and should therefo re be
expectant and desirous of what is in store for him/her. Concretely, one
should share about his/her personal life and relationship with the Lord in
a spirit of openness.
2. Confidentiality Household members are encouraged to share of their
personal lives, including their concerns and difficulties, in the meetings.
And this can be done only in an atmosphere of confidentiality. Whatever
is shared in the meetings should not be shared outside with anyone else.
a. Note: The Household Heads may share concerns to their service
head or Unit Head, who are extensions of their service and care for
household members. This is not a breach of confidentiality.
b. The prohibition on sharing with outsiders excludes the positive
factors in one's life. These in effect can be shared by the members
outside the household meeting whenever there is an appropriate
opportunity so that others can also be built up and encouraged.
3. Faithfulness One has to make the twice a month household meeting a
priority in his/her life and be regular in attendance. Only with continuity
and one's personal commitment can the purpose of household groups be
4. Participation Each member has to come to the meetings prepared both
spiritually and practically, and have the attitude of wanting to make a
contribution to the life of the meeting. Think not only of what you can
get out of the meeting but of what you can impart to the brothers and
sisters. This is done by active participation in worship, in sharing and
discussion, and in fellowship. It is important that each member supports
the good order of the weekly meeting and relates to everyone in the
group with honor and respect, especially to the household head.
5. Love The idea, after all, is to foster active concern and commitment to
one another. One has to look on the other members of the group as not
just so many new friends, but as brothers and sisters in the Lord, among
whom mutual love is the common denominator.

B. Attendance
1. Each member is expected to attend the twice a month meetings
faithfully, and indeed this is part of one's commitment to the covenant of
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SFC. Of course, certain obstacles will come up, such as sickness. What is
important is that one should accord top priority to these meetings and
really desire not to be absent from them.
2. Since attendance is part of one's commitment and since the very purpose
of household groups would be defeated by frequent absences (indicating
a lack of interest), such absences form sufficient ground for one's
separation from SFC. Household heads should follow up on absent
members and try to renew their interest and commitment. If
unsuccessful, the matter should be referred to the Unit Head for
appropriate action.
3. The household head has no authority to grant leaves of absence to his
household members. Any such requests should be referred to the Unit


A. Frequency
1. Households meet twice a month for household (the other two is
dedicated for Chapter Prayer Assemblies and Chapter Teaching
Assemblies), on the same day of the week as mutually agreed on by the
members. Less than once a week would not provide enough contact to
have adequate support and encouragement in the Christian life. More
than once a week may take time that is more properly allocated to work,
family, personal needs or Christian service.
2. The household head cannot skip or cancel any meeting, except as
provided for below, or as approved by the Unit Head due to a serious
3. If the household head cannot be present at a scheduled household
meeting (of course for a valid reason), he/she should not cancel the
meeting. Rather, he/she must refer the matter to the Unit Head.
Together, they will agree on a replacement, either one of the
brothers/sisters from the household or another brother/sister from the
4. Exceptions to the weekly household meetings are the following:
a. During the weeks when the monthly Chapter Prayer Assembly and
Chapter Teaching Assembly are held.
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b. During special times such as Holy Week and Christmas break.
4. When a whole household serves in a CLP, the household will still meet
for their regular prayer meetings at a minimum of twice (2x) a month.

Continuing to meet is essential so that the members continue

receiving personal life support, and not just meet for service, which is
the CLP.

B. Venue
The household meeting is to be held in the home of one of the members of
the group. The meeting place is rotated among the homes of each member.
Having the household meeting in the homes of the household members has
the following values:
1. Worshipping the Lord in our homes makes the truth that the home is a
small church a concrete reality. And God's blessings will surely descend
upon the home where God's people can be found, worshipping Him
together and growing in their faith together.
2. The people in our home our brothers and sisters, maybe our parents,
our household help, the people who are closest to us and whom we love
will be aware of what we are involved in and what we do every week.
To them we will become people who are living their Christian faith
openly and powerfully.
3. What we do in our homes can be an effective tool for evangelism,
especially to our residential household, to our neighbors and to other
relatives and friends.

C. Ingredients of a Household Meeting

A typical household meeting would involve three indispensable ingredients:
(1) worship and prayer,
(2) a time of sharing or teaching or discussion, and
(3) sometime for fellowship.
All three are very important and none should be skipped or simply glossed
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1. Worship.
a. The worship portion should include all the necessary ingredients:

prayers of petition

Every member should become familiar and comfortable with our way
of worship and praise, and the household head shows the way.
b. A typical format for the time of worship could be as follows:
come before the Lord (may be a short period of silence and/or a
short exhortation from the leader)
sing a lively song of praise
simultaneous vocal praising
sing another song, then more praising
sing a worship song
singing in tongues, followed by a short period of silence
bring forward words from the Lord (prophecy, inspired Scripture
verses, exhortations)
individual prayers of thanksgiving
individual prayers of petition and intercession
closing prayer by the leader
c. Members should be exhorted by the head to participate actively in the
singing, praising and prayers of thanksgiving and petition. They should
also be encouraged to exercise the spiritual gifts of prophecy, inspired
Scripture reading and exhortation.
d. The household head leads in the worship. As a general rule, he/she
should not delegate his/her responsibility to the others. However,
every once in a while (not too often), he/she may ask another
brother/sister to lead, for the purpose of training. But most if not all
the time, he/she leads.
e. Ideally, someone in the group should play the guitar. A piano or other
musical instrument would be alternatives, if available and practicable.
If no one can play, then it would be advisable to make use of our song
tapes/cds, where songs have been arranged in groups of three
precisely for use in household worship.
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f. The worship is done standing up for the whole duration. Exceptions
would be sick or weak members.
2. For the time of sharing, teaching or discussion, SFC households are
designed to have separate meetings for the male households and the
women households.
Some advantages of this arrangement are as follows:
a. Members are more free to share, especially of their difficulties, when
members of the opposite gender are not around.
b. Practically speaking, there would not be enough time (at least quality
time) for everyone to share.
c. It's an opportunity for the men to be supported by the brothers as
Christian men and the women by the sisters as Christian women.

Note that joint households occur ONLY in the Chapter level. As

such, the time for sharing, teaching or discussion in such
occasions can be also joint or separate. This arrangement
depends, of course, on what is to be taken up at the discretion of
the Chapter Leaders.

On very, very special (and rather limited) occasions, a male

household and a female household from two different units may
have a joint household upon the request of their household
heads. This arrangement DEPENDS on the purpose of the joint
activity, the topic to be taken up, and upon the permission and
approval of the Unit Heads and Chapter Leaders.

Other than that, the male and female households would meet
separately. Anyway, interaction among the households occur
twice (2x) a month during the monthly Chapter Prayer Assembly
and Chapter Teaching Assembly.

3. The last part, fellowship, is the time for socializing.

a. The host of household meeting usually prepares a very simple snack.
Here it must be kept in mind that the food is incidental to the
fellowship, rather than the fellowship being centered on the food.
Furthermore, no member should be burdened by the snack's cost or
needed time for preparation, nor should any host ever be pressured
in "keeping up" with a fellow member's extravagance.
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b. The host says the grace before the meal.
c. Absolutely no alcoholic beverages are to be served for this part of the
household meeting.
4. The evening ends with a short closing prayer by the Household Head.

D. Duration
1. Ordinarily, the household meeting is held after dinner on a weekday.
However, other mutually acceptable times are possible. The whole
meeting would typically run for about 2 1/2 hours, as follows:
30 minutes
Sharing/teaching/discussion 60-90 minutes
30-60 minutes
Of course, there is some flexibility and there could be variations on the
above time frames.
2. As much as possible, household meetings should start at the agreed time,
even if not everyone has arrived. The household head should not wait for
everyone. He/she should not make the meeting and everyone else a
captive of someone else's lack of commitment to punctuality. Besides,
this may be the only way to get chronic latecomers to mend their ways.
So if necessary, the household head should start the worship even if only
he/she and the host are around.
3. The meeting should not end too late, say, not later than 11 p.m. If the
meeting can start earlier, so much the better. If the meeting goes beyond
11 p.m., this should be the exception rather than the rule.

E. Social Night
1. The household may decide to have a social night on occasion. A social
night is a time devoted to fellowship, with no formal worship, discussion
or sharing.
2. It is recommended that a social night be held once a quarter, on the
month where there is a 5th week. If the members want to have a social
night more often, then it should be done outside the time allocated for
regular household meetings. Some possibilities: meet during the Chapter
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Prayer/Teaching Assembly week; or have a Lord's Day celebration
3. Various activities are possible. Members may have dinner together, at a
home or outside, or go out somewhere together (at a party or disco, go
bowling, etc.), or even decide to have a whole-day outing. There is a lot of
flexibility, and the idea is just to enjoy each other's company socially and
become intimate friends as well as brothers or sisters in the Lord.


A. For the first year (for the new members right after the CLP), the household
meetings are used to follow up on the topics in the teaching formation.
Thus the first year would look like this:

Year 1
3 months
3 months
3 months
3 months


Household Topics
Introduction to new Household
COW Follow-up topics
KT/PD Follow-up topics

In the second year and beyond, the topics of the household meetings are also
a follow up of the SFC teaching formation (Topics can be found in the
Household Heads Manual) or it could either be any of the following:

Personal Sharing
Bible Sharing
Topical discussions

Aside from the household meetings, the members will still have their regular
monthly Chapter Prayer Assembly and Chapter Teaching Assembly.
The above cycle provides enough variety so as to make household meetings
always interesting and life giving. Of course, the household head is free to
deviate from this cycle as he/she sees fit.

B. Personal Sharing
Personal sharing is telling our brothers and sisters about what has been
happening in our lives for the past month, with a particular focus on what the
Lord has been doing in our lives. Personal sharing is an essential element in
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building up our relationship with our brothers and sisters. As we open up our
lives to them and they become an intimate part of our lives.
1. If the household head opts for personal sharing, it can either be done by
just encouraging the members to share as they are led, or by using a set
of questions which can guide the members in their sharing. As a
framework to provide shape and direction, questions can be an effective
means to lively personal interaction. One can develop and use one's own
questions, just so long as they suit the needs of the members and can
effectively draw out people.
2. Sample questions are as follows:
a. How have you grown in your relationship with the Lord? Have you
come before the Lord faithfully in personal prayer?
b. In what ways were you aware of the Lord's presence or action in your
life during the past week/month?
c. What has the Lord been telling you in your prayer time or Scripture
study this week/month? How have you responded?
d. Have you conducted yourself righteously in thought, word or action?
e. In what ways has the Lord used you to serve others this past
f. What change has the Lord been asking you in order that you might
grow in loving your brothers and sisters?

C. Bible sharing
Bible sharing is a way for us to be more familiar with the Word of God, as we
share about it every month. Bible sharing is not Bible study as such, but a way
of drawing insights from the Bible and allowing God to speak to us personally
through His written Word. Various methods of Bible sharing could be utilized.
We however recommend the "7 step" method of Bible sharing.

Invite the Lord

Read the text
Pick out words and meditate on them
Let God speak to us in silence
Share what we have heard in our hearts

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6. Discuss any task which our group is called to do
7. Pray together spontaneously
Note: See detailed process of 7 Step Method of Bible Sharing in Household
Heads Manual Annexes.

D. Topical discussion
This is a time for formal discussion of a Christian topic. These topics could be
anything that has to do with the Christian life, which would be profitable for
our members to gain greater understanding. Especially recommended are
those topics that have to do with the life, mission, covenant and culture of
1. For example, such topics are:
a. Personal daily prayer time
b. Daily reading of the Bible
c. Living fully the Christian life
- avoidance of wrongdoing
- good order in private life
- participation in Church life
d. Living as a good Christian in our family
e. Christian manly and womanly character
f. Christian courtship
g. Christian service
h. Christian fellowship
i. Priority setting/weekly schedule
j. TV and media
k. Spiritual gifts
2. Furthermore, certain publications, sharing or teachings may be used
as a household meeting topic, to wit:
a. Teachings contained in our newsletter.
b. Topics contained in the various books that we publish.
c. Articles of interest in "God's Word Today" or other similar prayer or
Scripture guides.
d. Teachings or exhortations given at the monthly prayer meeting.
e. Taped talks or teachings by renowned personages.
It should be noticed that this cycle of topics for the second year and beyond
is such that there is no burden on the household head to be always thinking
up of what to take up during the household meetings.
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1. For personal sharing, the household head would simply moderate the
sharing and keep the interaction active and life giving.
2. For the Bible sharing, the household head merely chooses the
particular verses to be taken up.
3. For the topical discussion, the household head chooses the topic,
taking from the vast array of materials available to him/her. Thus he
simply moderates the discussion. Thus the household heads are not
burdened by "technical" preparation for the meetings, but can focus
more on "spiritual" preparation.
This cycle is something the household head is free to follow or not. The
household head has a good amount of flexibility as to how to handle the
household meeting and what to take up. The important thing is that the
conduct of the meeting contributes to the achievement of the stated purpose
of our having households and that is to build an environment of support for
the Christian life of our members.

A. Aside from what has been taken up as proper to the activities of a household
group, there are many other things that can be done as well. It is up to the
household head to discern the needs of his/her members individually and as
a group, and to act accordingly. These other activities may be in lieu of the
normal household activity (with approval of the Unit Head) or in addition to
it. Some such activities are:

Healing sessions/praying over

Intercessory prayers
Video sessions
Socials (sports, outings, picnics, etc.)
Lord's Day celebration

B. Other activities are welcome so long as they make a positive contribution to

the support and strengthening of the Christian life of single men and women,
within the context of SFC.

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Expanded Outline
A. Introduction.
1. You are all called to do God's work in SFC.
a) This is very important work. You are leaders of cell groups which make up
the basic support structure for CFC members.
b) You need to respond humbly and fully.
2. You are all new to this kind of pastoral leadership. God is doing something
a) Do not feel unworthy, for God Himself Who calls you will also empower
b) You are all learning and growing in your ability to serve in this new way.

Look to growing in confidence and capability each new day.

3. You yourselves are all under pastoral care, not only for your personal lives
but also for your service.
a) We leaders in SFC are not serving in isolation from one another, but rather
as a network of pastoral leaders serving together.

Encourage one another.

Learn from one another.
Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit.

b) Just be open to those over you regarding any aspect of your service.

B. How should you relate to your Unit Head?

1. Understand your relationship with him/her.
a) He/she is committed to you and the members of your group. You can call
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on him/her anytime for support, advice or prayers. He/she is for you.
b) His/her desire is to see you develop and grow in your service and in your
life and to see your members grow in the Lord.
c) Don't hold back from telling him/her your problems in leading the group.

Don't think that you've always got to give a good report. We are
looking for a realistic assessment to see God's will regarding your
Don't protect your members from him/her.

2. What to talk to your Unit Head about?

a) The Household.

Are your members relating to one another well?

Are they free to share with one another?

Do they worship freely together?

Do they ever do anything together outside of the household meeting?

How is their general attitude towards SFC?

b) Individual members.

How are they growing in Christ?

Daily prayer?

Relationship with their family?

Relationship with authority? Yours and overall SFC?

Problems if any.

c) Developing a pastoral vision for the household.

Have some goals in mind for the whole household and discuss them
with your Unit Head. What do they need?

Have some goals for the individual members in your household. What
does each one need? Do not be ruled by what each member wants.

In both, pray and seek God's will.

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d) Your time and service.

Do you have enough time for yourself, family, romantic relationship,

job and service?

What are the extra demands of your household that pulls you down?

How are you experiencing your service? Are you growing in

confidence? Do you need more help?

C. Note that your role as a household head is not just to relate to your unit head.
1. You are to reach out also to your members and help move them on in their
relationship with the Lord and as brethren in CFC.
a) It involves continuing evangelization.
b) It is based on a personal caring relationship.
2. Being household leaders involves the exercise of what we call "evangelistic

D. Elements of evangelistic headship. 1 Thessalonians 2:7-12.

1. Gentleness (v.7).
a) Do not come down too hard on your member's shortcomings.

Do not be abrasive or inflexible.

b) Be like a "nursing mother".


Be loving and gentle.

But be firm if there is a need. Even a mother corrects.

Personal concern (v.8).

a) It is not just a functional relationship.

You need to be friends.

Take an interest in their interests.

- Ask about their family, romantic relationship, work, personal

problems, etc.
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- Keep a journal so you can keep track.

Behind it all is setting your heart on them to love them.

b) We are all part of one body. We share a common life.

State your commitment to them and communicate your desire to

serve them.
Make clear the relationship is one of brotherhood and service to

3. Diligence and perseverance (v.9).

a) Always be reaching out to them. It is a battle to change people and it will
not just happen easily.

Exercise pastoral patience.

b) Be open and available. Let them have access to you.

But teach them to be reasonable in seeking you out (e.g., not in the
middle of the night, except if there is a real emergency).

c) Meet outside regular meetings.

When the opportunity presents itself (or make your own

opportunities), visit them at home or at work.
Have recreation together.

4. Integrity (v.10).
a) You must be a person who is beyond reproach.
b) It is not just a question of not sinning, but of not doing anything that can
subject you to criticism.

E.g., Borrowing money from your members.

Lording it over them.
Being critical of SFC, and CFC as a community.

5. Encouragement (v.11-12).
a) Just like a father/mother to his/her children.

Provide encouragement, comfort, support.

b) Help them to know themselves.

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Say helpful things about difficulties.

Give them insights on why they do the things that they do.
Observe and notice them (how they pray, how they behave at
meetings, how they handle their daily life, etc.) and give inputs from
time to time.

c) Keep in touch with their concerns (family, health, school, occupation, love
life, etc.).

Communicate to them that you are aware of these.

Let them know that you are not just concerned about what you want
them to do but also about their concerns.

d) Be able to laugh and cry with them. Identify with their joys and sorrows.

When someone first opens up, be able to hold them up with your
They should not experience their life changing just independently, but
rather, you carry them in your heart, and this is sometimes expressed
to them.

An important and interesting note: Notice that the above involves the
whole range of caring that happens within a family. The household heads
in certain ways act out the roles of mother, brother, sister and father to
their members.

E. The effect of evangelistic headship. What is the desired response from the
1. Love
a) This is the call to every Christian. We are all to love one another as
brothers and sisters in Christ.
b) But the caring relationship should reinforce and strengthen the members'
love for their leaders.
2. Confidence
a) This frees them to give themselves over to your headship.

They can let go of their self-protectiveness. They can put down their
It frees them to give of their whole selves.
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b) This opens them to receive advice and wisdom from you.

They become more ready to hear God's word coming from you.
It does not become necessary to question all you say.

c) As you experience them putting more confidence in you, you become

more free to give them more that you yourself have learned.
3. Respect
a) It is not enough to be loved. You need to be respected, if you are to be
effective in helping them to change.
b) How do you earn respect?
Show them you respect them.
- Don't put them down.
- Listen carefully.
Be straightforward and honest.
- Don't beat around the bush.
- Let them know what your mind really is.
- Give them a fair and honest evaluation.
Be able to be firm when something needs to change.
- Be willing to take a stand, even though sometimes you can make
- You don't just give out love, advice, etc., but you also need to
correct and admonish when necessary.
Don't be a know-it-all.
- You don't know everything and you can't solve all problems. Be
willing to say "I don't know".
- Don't bluff. It will boomerang and you end up with even less
If the above desired response from members happens, then the result is
that they become more open to the word of God through you. They
become more open to the work of the Holy Spirit. 1 Thessalonians 2:13.
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F. Conclusion.

You have the privilege to guide new SFC members in their new life in the
a) Take this responsibility seriously.
b) Put your faith in Jesus.


People grow in confidence as they see you grow in holiness and in Christian
a) 1 Timothy 4:12-16. You need to grow yourself.

Be an example and a model to others.

b) They must know that you can take them as far as God has taken you.

Be able to say: "Imitate me as I imitate Christ" (1 Corinthians 11:1).

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Expanded Outline
A. Introduction.
1. We must be men and women who passionately want to promote God's
kingdom on earth. Thus, our hearts should be troubled whenever we find
anything that is not right with God.
2. Our "goodness" could be measured by the extent to which we feel a pure
and growing hatred for evil.

B. Four kinds of "good" people.

1. Those who do no evil, yet do not devote themselves faithfully to doing good.
a) They lack other, more positive virtues.
b) Just like baptized infants.
2. Those who refrain from evil and also devote themselves to frequent good
deeds, yet, while they do not neglect to do what good they can, they see no
need to do more than that.
a) Just so much prayer, service, almsgiving, etc., are enough for them.
They do not burn with a desire for a more complete holiness.
b) They remain quietly content with this spiritual level, and abandon
higher things to others.
3. Those who detest and avoid wrongdoing, fervently commit themselves to
whatever good they can do, and desire greater personal holiness, yet lack
equal concern for the holiness of others.
a) They eagerly desire the spiritual and internal virtues --fondness for
prayer, intimate knowledge of God, experience of divine love.
b) However they are not inflamed with fervent zeal against the vices of
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others or the dangers of their sins. They want everyone to be good and
live in grace, but feel no wound of sorrow when they see the opposite.
c) They remain intent upon God and themselves. They might put off caring
for other people in order to preserve their own peace.

Those who avoid wrongdoing, practice virtue, are afire with zeal for
personal righteousness, and have zeal for winning souls.
a) They obtain no comfort from progress toward their own salvation
unless they are also leading others to God.
b) Jesus' example: Although he always had complete joy in himself, he
was not content only to possess glory, but emptied himself, taking the
form of a servant, in order to lead many others into glory with him.
Philippians 2:7.
c) As household heads, we should be this 4th kind of "good" Christian.
These make the best persons for leadership in SFC, given our
evangelistic mission.


Zeal for righteousness stems from the very basis of our Christianity, namely,
love of God and of neighbor.
1. A person who loves God not only desires to enjoy his goodness and be close
to him, but loves to see his will accomplished, his worship carried out and
his honor exalted. He wants all people to know, love, serve and honor God
more than anything else.
2. A person who loves his neighbor desires not only health and prosperity for
him, but even more, eternal salvation.
3. Love of God and neighbor should cause us to mourn if God is dishonored or
disobeyed, and if others are not in right relationship with Him.
4. Although all Christians should love their neighbor, this love for others is
especially necessary for those who are leaders.
a) Their position demands that they act on God's behalf. Thus their hearts
should be as much moved by love of righteousness and hatred of evil as
is God's heart.
b) Psalm 45:8. "You love justice and hate wickedness; therefore God, your
God, has anointed you..."

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D. Areas of concern (exercise of zeal) in our own lives and in the lives of our
household members.
1. Growth in love for God and for neighbor. Selflessness.
2. Active participation in the life of the Church. Frequent reception of the
3. Faithfulness to the covenant of SFC.
a) All SFC members have freely and willingly made their commitment to
the Lord and to the body. They should live up to it.
b) Deuteronomy 23:22-24.
4. Areas not essential for salvation but desirable for making spiritual progress.
a) Faithfulness to and punctuality in meetings.

Household leaders show the way. If you have no enthusiasm,

neither will your members.

b) Exercise of spiritual gifts.

Charismatic dimension. SFC's brand of spirituality.

c) Financial support for the CFC community.

This is not part of our covenant, but it is part of being a good

mature Christian.
The money is used for evangelization, thus for winning souls.

d) Submission to headship.

Authority is a gift from God which is given to us as a means/help to

move us on in our spiritual lives.

e) Avoidance of a critical spirit or attitude.

E. Two specific applications: Correction and Encouragement.

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1. At the heart of scriptural appreciation for correction is a hatred of sin, and a
realization of human fallibility.
a) Psalm 141:5.
b) Thus zeal + love of neighbor = correction.
2. Deal with the wrongdoing of members.
a) Be simple and straightforward. Luke 17:3.
b) How?

Do not condone any wrongdoing nor concede that any wrongdoing

is acceptable.
Do not allow any wrongdoing to remain unrepented of or
Do not remain silent and pretend to know nothing when you ought
to speak out.
Be in touch with your Unit Head.

c) Be authoritative.

Your authority comes from God and is to be exercised in the

community where we have committed ourselves to.
Look to correction as a pastoral tool for growth.

3. Your accountability as head to correct.

a) You are God's representatives. You have been given responsibility over
God's people. Your members look up to you and obey you because you
have the Lord's place.

Do not allow vices and bad practices to grow.

Do what you can to overcome wrongdoing.

b) If you neglect your duty, you will be accountable to God.

You would be guilty of neglect for not doing what your duty called
for. Wisdom 6:4-5.
You would bear the guilt for the faults of your subordinates, in that
you could and should have corrected them but didn't. Ezek. 33:8.
This is not to scare you, but to show the seriousness of your work.

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1. You also have a duty to encourage.
a) Not just correction (look at wrongs) but encouragement (look at what's
b) Not just criticism, but praise.
2. At the start of Jesus' ministry, God encouraged him.
a) Matthew 3:17.

Again at transfiguration. Matthew 17:5.

b) God is the source of all encouragement. Romans 15:5.

We follow His ways.

3. "Encourage" is a compound of two words": "en" = to put in or into, and

"courage" = confidence, strength.
a) Thus literally, to encourage means to put courage into someone.

An encouraging person builds up and strengthens people by his

presence and words.
He supports, not weakens.

b) How to encourage:

Support (situation where one cannot cope). Through words, advice,
prayers or just presence.
Urge on/exhort. Motivate. Not so much comfort, but challenge.
Praise. E.g., honoring.

4. There is plenty of bad news around and unfortunately, people quickly respond
to discouraging news.
a) God looks for eternal optimists, who can share that spirit with others.

God's news is good news, not bad. We are to bring the good news
of liberty, joy, release, hope, comfort, etc.

b) We cannot encourage enough.

Many people have low self-esteem. They need to be affirmed.

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Our encouragement helps people to discover themselves, to

appreciate who they are.

c) Thus, our basic attitude as household leaders needs to be one of


Not always correcting, but kindness, encouragement, rejoicing over

what the Lord has already done.
Love them so they move on.

5. A fruit of encouragement is growth in perseverance. Perseverance is a

Christian quality especially needed to overcome problems, obstacles and
trials. We need to be persevering as we desire to FOLLOW Jesus as leaders of
our households.

F. Two men on the road to Emmaus. Luke 24:13ff.

1. They seem to have given up. They were disappointed because of wrong
expectations (v.21).
2. On the positive side, they went back to the disciples after breaking bread
with Jesus.

G. Lessons from the Emmaus story.

1. We need to examine our reasons for following Jesus.
a) The wrong reason can easily lead us to change course. John 6:26-27, 66-69.
b) John the Baptist condemns superficial and opportunistic "repentance".
Matthew 3:7-10.
c) Looking on Christianity as a problem-solver. Results of such an outlook:

Disappointment if the problem is not resolved.

Turning away from Jesus once the problem is resolved because
there is no longer any need for him.
Inability to accept Jesus' hard teachings.

2. We need to open up our hearts and let the word of God burn in our hearts.
This way, our motivation becomes pure.
a) The proper attitude: Philippians 3:8.
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Everything else is garbage compared to Christ.

b) We can only be single-minded for God if our vision is clear, if we know

the place of Jesus in our life, if we have a right relationship with him,
and if we know where we are going.

H. How can we be single-minded for God?

1. "Burn your boats".
a) Anecdote about a beleaguered army having to make a decision on whether
to flee out to the sea in their boats or to stand and face the advancing
enemy. The commander had their boats burned, thus eliminating the
b) Practical application:
Many of us come into a new life in the Lord, but we keep our boats
in reserve, so that if necessary we can return to the world.
We need to forego all other options. In our new life, there should
be no turning back.
2. Learn to persevere and be patient.
a) Prepare for the long haul. Moving on in the Christian life is the task of a
b) Some Scripture passages.
Hebrews 6:11-12. Sometimes one starts off very zealous in the
Christian life, then grows lazy and takes things for granted. But we
are to show the "same zeal till the end".
2 Thessalonians 3:13. Sometimes doing good can be tiring. But we
just need to continue doing what is right.
Philippians 3:16. Whatever spiritual state or level we are in, we are
to go on. We can never be fully mature. There's always more that
the Lord wants for us.
Galatians 6:9. Some come into a life in the Lord, then get tired and
finally turn back to their old ways. We need to persevere, knowing
what awaits us.
1 Corinthians 15:58. Sometimes the problem is that we do not see
the fruit of righteous living. Righteous living might even seem like
such a burden. But the fruit is there. God is pleased. We will reap
the harvest.
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3. "Take up your cross and follow me".
a) Jesus did not promise that if we followed him there would be no more
b) In fact, the Christian life is a life of embracing and loving the cross of

I. How can we grow in single-mindedness for God?

1. Set a goal in personal virtue.
a) Growing in single-mindedness for God is connected with righteous living.
Thus we need to acquire desirable virtues.

Without personal virtues, we cannot be single-minded for God.

There will always be some distractions that are too attractive.

b) Ask the Lord to show what virtue you can grow most in. Some examples:

Steadfastness. Tobit 4:5-6.

Humility. Philippians 2:3-4.
Obedience. Jesus' example.
Kindness. The example of Mother Teresa.

- Mother Teresa: "Love begins at home, it is not how much we do but

how much love we put in the action that we do. To God Almighty,
how much we do does not matter, but how much love we put in that
action. How much we do to him in the person we are serving. And let
us all meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of
love. Let us keep that joy of loving Jesus in our hearts and share that
joy with all that we come in touch with"
- The most villainous person she has met is described by her as "Jesus
in a very distressing disguise".
2. Seek to suffer a little every day for God.
a) There are many opportunities that present themselves:
Denying ourselves too much of the pleasures of life.
Forbearing in relationship difficulties.
Giving things up like more sleep in favor of more prayer.
b) These help us to focus less on ourselves and more on God.
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3. Detach yourself from your desires and plans.
a) God has the best plan for our lives.
Jeremiah 29:11.
b) We need to let go of our preconceived notions of what is best for us. We
need to approach the Lord without any preset agenda.
4. Seek consolation only from God.
a) This is not only the proper attitude, but a practical and realistic one. Every
one else can fail us, but God never will.

In the midst of difficulty, especially from those closest to us, God is

our consolation.

b) It is only God Who can truly comfort us.

Matthew 11:28-30.
5. Pray for God's will to be done in your life.
a) We should not only be resigned to God's will, but actively and eagerly pray
that His will come to pass in our life.
But be careful. God delights in such prayers, and will grant them.
b) Have faith that our Father knows best.
Even when we cannot see beyond the difficulty of the moment.
J. Conclusion.
1. There are four types of good people.
a) Household leaders should strive to be the 4th type.
Because this is ideal for headship.
This is an assurance that all household members will be helped to
move on.
2. God uses our zeal for righteousness to help other people.
a) Through evangelization, bringing God's life to others.
b) Through caring for members of SFC.
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3. Our zeal for God grows into perseverance for Gods call to righteousness is
very difficult. It entails us to serve Him with utmost dedication and
4. We can only move on in these areas as we become more and more focus on
the Lord and our life and mission in Him. Let us be single-minded for God.

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Household Heads Teaching Series (HHTS)

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About the HHTS
After conducting the Household Heads Orientation (HHO), the Household Head
Teaching Series (HHTS) should be immediately scheduled to follow up and sustain
the growth of the incoming Household Heads.

Conduct of the HHTS

1. The HHTS should be conducted on a Chapter level for a more intimate set of
mentoring sessions of the soon to be SFC Household heads. Logistical
requirements will not be demanding since it will be like a household meeting
set up only.
2. Chapter leaders will facilitate the HHTS with the help of the Unit Heads.
3. Sessions must be finished within 6 months from the time the HHO was
conducted, ideally, one session per month.
The HHTS Sessions
Talk 1 - Brotherly Love
Talk 2 - Prayer and Intercession
Talk 3 - Faith in God and Humble Leadership
Talk 4 - Good Example and Evangelistic Headship
Talk 5 - Correction and Encouragement
Talk 6 - Evaluation
Suggested HHTS Format
Opening Worship
Session Proper

120mins (at least 2 hours)

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Speakers Outline

A. Our task is to take care of God's people; those entrusted to our
1. 1 Peter 5:2a
2. Our example is Jesus Himself. John 10:11
B. We can see how important is this service that we do.
1. It is not just an assignment, a task, or a function.
2. Love is its very essence. As brethren in the Lord, one very important
quality of our work is brotherly love.


How do we express brotherly love?

A. Attitude of Service Love
1. Mark 10:45
a. In CFC Singles for Christ, the leader is the servant.
b. We give of ourselves willingly so that those in our care will
experience the life and salvation of Jesus.
2. It was Jesus Himself who called us to serve. He is the Chief Shepherd.

Thus the right way to serve is to serve according to His


B. Attitude of Humility
1. Mark 10:35-44

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There is a marked difference between service in the world and

service in the kingdom.

Rather than lord it over, we serve.

Rather than glory in our importance, we serve in humility.
Rather than be first, we serve ourselves last.

2. Ambition and self-focus are obstacles to Christian service.


Like James and John, we may be good disciples and be sincere

in following Jesus, but we could still get sidetracked in our
motivations for serving.

Concrete Qualities of Brotherly Love

A. As Expressed by Jesus
1. Concern for the practical needs of others
a. Illustrated in the wedding at Cana (John 2:1-11) and in the feeding
of the multitudes (Matthew 15:32-38).
b. We cannot just have a spiritual approach to love.

James 2:14-17
1 John 3:17-18

2. Availability to our people

a. Jesus invited the children to come to Him despite the disciples'
concern for His rest (Mark 10:13-16).

Jesus was also available to the sinners, to the sick, and to the
relatives of His disciples.

b. We are to be big brothers (older sisters) to our people.

3. Expression of affection
a. Jesus expressed the human emotion of affection.

He wept when he visited Lazarus' tomb (John 11:35-36).

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In the case of the rich young man who asked about everlasting
life, Jesus looked on him with love as he gave his answer (Mark

b. We too need to love those in our care.

Laugh and cry with them.

Care for them not just as a duty but as beloved family


B. As Expressed by Other Scripture Passages

1. Patience and forbearance
a. Romans 15:1

Our work is continuing evangelization. We need to take

people where they are and draw them deeper into a new life
in the Lord.

We need to realize that different people may have different

paces in spiritual growth.

b. But this does not mean pampering or coddling sinfulness or


We are also called upon to strengthen others and to correct

them if necessary.

2. Encouragement
a. Isaiah 35:3-4a

Often, a word of encouragement from one's leader is enough

to make a critical difference.

We need to be able to convince our people that they can

move forward in the Christian life and overcome their
problems, if only they would persevere.

b. For leaders, not to do this would be spiritual negligence. Ezekiel


We would not only disappoint the Lord, but could also incur
His wrath.

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3. Going the extra mile
a. We need to serve beyond the normal call of duty.

It is easy to go the first mile, but you need God's grace to go

the extra mile.

2 Samuel 23:14-17. Example of the initiative and sacrifice of

King David's men.

b. We will experience God's grace as we volunteer to do more to

serve the people placed under us.


The satisfaction of having served thus will be beyond measure.

A. We are all brothers and sisters in SFC. And you are all called upon as
household leaders to serve the rest.
B. In this service we need the quality of brotherly love.
1. Our model is Jesus Himself. Even now, He continues to love and serve
us all, His brothers and sisters.
2. The brotherly love required of us is not from the spring of our own
hearts but from God's. Let us tap into His own heart the true
wellspring of endless love.

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Expanded Outline

A. Prayer is crucial to the life of a Christian.
1. It is our direct communication link to God.
2. It is a key to being victorious against temptation.
3. It lies at the root of all personal godliness.
B. Prayer also puts us into proper posture before God.
1. The essential nature of sin is independence. But we need to live in
total dependence on God, a dependence marked by prayer.
The chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever; but
we cannot begin to enjoy God until we spend time with Him.
2. Prayer keeps us trusting God for everything.
3. Prayer opens the way for the Holy Spirit to transform us into the
image of Jesus.


The Characteristics of Effective Prayer

A. Humility
1. We cannot approach God's throne until we have confessed all known
Thus an examination of conscience and the attendant repentance
are important.
2. Prayer is a humble response to God's initiative, where in His great
love for us He gave us His Son and sent His Spirit into our hearts.
We need to submit our lives to God's will and bow to His

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3. Prayer is not insisting on our own way, but we must believe that God's
way is perfect and that in everything He works for our good.
God is far more willing to bless us than we can imagine. But we can
frustrate His will for us by rebelling.
4. We are to delight in the Father's love, just like little children.
Luke 18:15-17
B. Honesty
1. We do not have to pretend before God.
a. God knows all about us anyway.
b. And God wants us to share every part of our lives with Him. That
includes our fears and failings, our moods and emotions, our
thoughts and anxieties.
2. We have Biblical models of honest prayer.
a. The psalmist. Psalm 13:1ff.
b. Jesus at Gethsemane.
c. Paul spoke of his weaknesses many times.
3. As we are honest with God, He will work gently in our lives to mold us
more and more into Jesus' likeness.
C. Compassion
1. Compassion means "suffering with" someone, trying to enter into
their pains and problems.
a. We need to be moved with compassion as we see the enormous
needs of sinful, suffering people.
b. Such compassion, especially in our inability to give practical help,
naturally leads to prayer and intercession.
2. Compassionate prayer is positive prayer.
a. We do not need to pray about all problems in detail. We end up
being conscious mainly of the problems.
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b. Rather, we focus our mind on the Lord, thinking of those aspects
of His nature, or particular promises He has given, which are
relevant to the problems.
c. Negative thoughts, filled as they often are with fear, unbelief,
anxiety, anger or bitterness, may hinder God's working in our
3. Compassionate prayer will also have breadth in its dimens ion.
a. We do not pray only for our circle of friends, our SFC activities or
evangelistic programs.
b. We need to be concerned as well about social injustice and needs
unemployment, poverty, discrimination, the homeless and
oppressed, the sick, the lonely, etc.
D. Expectancy
1. When we ask for something in prayer, we should start looking for the
answer and expect God to work.
a. Ephesians 3:20
b. Mark 11:24
2. Biblical models of expectant faith.
a. Mary. When promised the gift of a son, she began to praise God
that it was now true, saying "God who is mighty has done great
things for me". Luke 1:30-49
b. Jesus. About to raise up Lazarus from the dead, he prayed
"Father, I thank you for having heard me." John 11:41
3. To help us pray with expectant faith, we need to know and claim the
promises of God in the scriptures.
a. Through these promises, we know the will of God, at least, in
general terms.
b. 1 John 5:14
E. Persistency
1. We can become careless and lazy in our prayer.
a. We may neglect it altogether.
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b. We may give lip service to it by mouthing off a few familiar
phrases, but our heart and mind may wander in many directions.
2. Though God may answer even our casual prayers, normally He waits
until our whole being is concentrated on Him.
a. Jesus rebuked the Pharisees. Mark 7:6
b. Jesus taught about persistence. Luke 18:1-5
c. In God's wisdom, He sometimes delays in answering our prayers
to see how much we really want something for His praise and
glory alone.
F. Forgiveness
1. We must first know God's forgiveness by confessing every known sin,
repenting and asking for His cleansing.
a. We must distinguish between the Spirit's conviction and the
devil's nagging.
b. We must ask the Spirit to search our hearts, and not allow the
devil to rob us of God's peace.
2. Then we must forgive one another.
a. Mark 11:25.
b. An unforgiving spirit can easily spoil our relationship with God and
with one another.
c. If we hold on to sin in our hearts, God will not listen to us.


It is only when we forgive others that God can forgive us. And it is
only when God forgives us that we can pray at all.

God always wants the best for us and He wants us to come to Him to ask for
these things.
1. Matthew 6:32b-33
2. Jesus tells us to come to Him in times of difficulty and He will refresh
us. Matthew 11:28-30.
It is a clear invitation. He does not say, "Evaluate your needs and
then if you think it is reasonable, come to me and we can talk."

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3. The reason we can come and approach God with confidence is due to
our special loving relationship with our Father in heaven as His
children through our baptism.
4. When we pray, say: "Your will be done." It is most important that
God's will takes place in our life, our family, and in the lives of the
people we care for.


As we accompany our members in their Christian life we couple it with
prayers to guide them in their journey. Thus, it is our part to intercede for
A. Intercession is prayer for God's will to happen.
1. It is to see God's viewpoint in various situations, then go before the
Lord with boldness and confidence to ask that He acts.
2. An intercessor is one who seeks the mind of Christ. He does not pray
just for the "obvious thing" or the "good thing", but to pursue God's
mind on the situation.
3. The prayer that God wants to answer is the prayer for His will to
B. Intercession is part of God's plan.
1. 1 Timothy 2:1-4. Through Paul, God is saying that intercession is a
means for His plan/will to happen.
2. As leaders, God expects us to intercede.
Ezekiel 22:29-31. This is a situation where leaders and priests were
involved in extortion, robbery, and oppression. The Lord looks
down and looks for at least one man who would intercede; then He
would be predisposed to withhold His wrath. But God found no
one; no one intervened to prevent God's wrath from happening.
C. An intercessor mediates between God and man.
1. He brings man's needs to God for action. He represents man to God.
a. Exodus 17:8-13 tells of Moses interceding for God's people during
a battle with Amalek. As long as Moses kept his hands raised up
interceding, Israel had the better of the fight, but when he lets

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down his hands to rest, Amalek had the better of the fight. Moses
mediated between God and the Israelites.
b. We intercede not only for general things like world peace, peace
in our country, economic recovery, etc., but for very specific
2. He pleads for God's mercy and benevolence for man.
a. Moses prayed for God's mercy for the Israelites who worshipped
the golden calf.
b. Jesus prays, "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they
are doing".
c. Let us intercede for our people: "Lord, forgive them for they do
not honor their commitment to you; their prayer life is not
regular; they are not forgiving one another; they are not gracious
in their speech, etc."
3. He is a conduit of God's love, grace, and will. He represents God to
man. He works with God.
a. Moses cooperated with the Lord. He did his part. He took
responsibility to put the people on the right path.
b. Jesus spoke the mind of God and taught his disciples.
c. Go to your people and speak God's word to them. Do your part in
correcting and in strengthening them.
D. We are to intercede with faith and confidence.
1. Genesis 18:20ff. Things were happening in Sodom that invited the ire
of God. Abraham bargained and haggled with God. God finally
destroyed Sodom but not before Abraham did his part of interceding
for his people.
2. We have a basis for confidence. 1 John 5:14; John 14:14
3. The lessons we can learn from these are:
a. We should intercede seriously and with confidence.
entertains that kind of haggling.


b. We can have confidence that God pours out His blessings so that
we may be able to do our mission; we know that we need God's
power and provision and we know that we ought to be
c. God will act on our prayers. He has no limitation of power and we
ought to expect results when we intercede.
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How to become more effective intercessors.

A. Have great love for the people you intercede for. Be ready to offer
practical assistance to meet the needs for which you intercede.
B. Have great faith that God could do things like what He did to Sarah, that
he could part the waters of the Red Sea, that He can and will do the same
things for us in whatever difficult situations we find ourselves in.
C. Strive to be holy. James 5:16b-18
D. Look for opportunities to intercede and use the power we have to
1. E.g., Boring homily of the priest. Instead of complaining, intercede for
the priest so that his homily may come alive and touch the lives of the
2. Do the same for insensitive boss/leaders, crimes, unfaithfulness of
members, etc.
E. Make a habit of regular intercession.
1. Make this a regular part of your daily life and service.
2. Pray for your people, for more pastoral and material resources, and
for more intercessors.


A. Prayer is crucial to our personal life as a Christian. It is indispensable to
our growing in holiness.
B. Colossians 1:9-12. Paul intercedes for the people in his charge
unceasingly. Let us pray for the people under our care in the same way.
C. As household leaders, we would see much more fruit in our service if we
use with discernment this powerful tool of intercession that God has
given us.
D. Prayer is crucial to the life and mission of SFC. We are all part of God's
army, needing to receive our instructions from our Commander-in-Chief
each day.

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Expanded Outline

A. We are to be men and women of faith.
B. Two meanings of faith:
1. Belief in the existence of God.
Even demons share this type of faith. James 2:19
2. Trust that God is true in His dealings with mankind.
This is what is important in our Christian life and in our service.


The Faithfulness of God

A. God reveals Himself as faithful.
1. Exodus 34:6-7
2. 2 Timothy 2:11-13
B. God proves Himself faithful in His actions.
1. Through centuries God was faithful to His people.
a. Adam's disobedience and His merciful response.

Saving Noah from destruction and making a covenant with him.

Calling Abraham and establishing him as the father of nations.
Training and protecting Jacob.
Providing for the Israelites in Egypt through Joseph.

f. Faithfulness in spite of grievous sins in the wilderness.

g. Driving out the enemies of Israel.
h. The period of the Judges.
i. The period of the Kings.
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2. Then God gave the messiah, despite the knowledge that He would be
rejected and put to death by those He came to save.
3. Then came 2,000 years of Christian history, during which time the
Church often went astray. But God continued to call it back.
C. The history of the human race is a constant spurning of God's grace. We
have been a most faithless race.
1. Yet still God works, and is faithful to His people.
Romans 3:3-4a
2. God has proven Himself faithful over the course of thousands of
years, and amidst intense provocation.
D. Our faith is founded on the faithfulness of God.


Responding in Faith
A. Examples of a response of faith.
1. Abraham. Genesis 22:1-17.
He trusted in God's faithfulness, and God made him the father of
many nations.
2. Noah
He trusted in God's faithfulness, and God saved him.
3. Gideon. Judges 7:7
a. He began with 32,000 soldiers and ended with 300, facing an
enemy force of 135,000 (Judges 8:10). This seemed like
foolishness for a military commander.
b. But he trusted in God's faithfulness, and God gave him victory.
4. Mary. Luke 1:38
a. Becoming pregnant with no husband would destroy her
reputation, perhaps even cost her life.
b. But she trusted in God's faithfulness and God provided a husband
for her, and made her mother of the Messiah.

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5. Jesus. Luke 22:42-44

a. He was frightened at the prospect of the cross and sought to avoid
it if he could.
b. But he trusted in the Father's faithfulness and despised the shame
of the cross, and God highly exalted him.
B. A Personal Application
1. All of us have given up something, some of us a great deal, to serve
the Lord and to be here right now.
a. What guarantee do we have that it will all be worth it?
b. What do we have to counter the arguments of friends and family
who so reasonably show us the seeming folly of our direction in
c. We have no guarantee but the faithfulness of God.
2. In and through SFC we are attempting to build the worldwide family
of CFC, to do something significant for the cause of Christ.
a. What guarantee do we have that SFC or CFC will survive another
10 years; that this ark we are building is going to be of any use;
that this is a worthy work to engage in at the expense of family, of
career, of personal preferences?
b. We have no guarantee but the faithfulness of God.
3. Let us then be men and women of faith, seeing that God has proven
Himself faithful.
a. Let us not look at our lives with human eyes or allow events to
distract or discourage us.
b. Let us be like Abraham with the knife at Isaac's throat, like Noah
building his ark, like Mary abandoning all her cares to God.
c. Let us fully trust that He who began a good work in us will indeed
bring it to completion on the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6
C. Growing in faith.
1. Ask for faith.
2. Live your life based on the truth of God's faithfulness.
3. Act in faith.
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Called in Faith
A. The Report of the Jordan Management Consultants (Annex A)
1. What looks good on the outside might not necessarily turn out so;
and vice versa.
2. Many of us would probably not have thought of ourselves as
becoming leaders over God's people.
B. God is able to use anyone.
1. God looks at the heart, not on what appears outside.
a. A heart that sees the greatness of God.
b. A heart that sees the needs of mankind.
2. God looks for humility.
a. We are not perfect; let us admit it. In fact, we are sinful and are in
dire need of God's mercy.
b. Example of Peter and Judas. We need to admit our mistakes, face
Jesus again, and accept His forgiveness.
C. Various ways we can learn about leadership.
1. Look at Jesus' example.
2. Study Paul's instructions to leaders.
3. Look at how not to do leadership.
a. This is what we will study. Matthew 23:1-12
b. Note that we are still to follow the correct instructions of
designated leaders, even if they are bad examples. (v.3)


Pharisaic Leadership the opposite of Jesus example of leadership

A. Jesus pointed to leaders who said the right things but did the wrong
1. They tell people what to do but do not provide the necessary help,
guidance and resources with which the people can move on. (v.4)

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2. They want to look good. (v.5)
Or some may try to be like someone else, trying to imitate another
leader's style.
B. All of us are learners, disciples. (v.8,10)
1. God wants to take active leadership over His people.
a. All have a direct pipeline to God.
b. The Holy Spirit is given to everyone, to teach and guide them.
2. But of course, there are teachers and leaders in SFC.
a. Purpose of leadership: not for the leaders to do all the services
themselves, but for them to equip God's people.
b. Leaders/teachers are to get people in contact with the Father
3. The one Source is God, not any leader or teacher.
The leader, being in touch with the Source, should help others get
in touch with the Source.
4. Two Extremes: Too Little or Too Much Responsibility
a. If too little, leadership resource is wasted.
b. If too much, leaders could burn out because they take on too
much of the burden which belongs to God.
C. We are called to humble leadership. (v.11-12)
1. In God's Kingdom, the leader is the servant. This too is how it is in
2. There is to be no jockeying for position, looking to be the best, etc.


Distorting God's Gifts and Call.

There is a tendency in fallen human nature to bend the gifts and call of God
to conform to the personal needs and ends of leaders. We need to beware of
the following:
A. Pride. Having too exalted an opinion of ourselves.

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1. This leads to arrogance, defensiveness, and lack of sensitivity in

relating to others.
2. Like Paul, we ought to become fools for Christ (1 Corinthians 4:10).
B. Insecurity. Having a desire for recognition and approval.
1. This leads to defensiveness; pleasing man more than God.
2. We ought to be concerned only with pleasing God.
recognition and consolation will come from Him.

And our

C. Possessiveness. Possessing the work, identifying ourselves and our worth

too much with our work.
1. This leads to over control, exalting ourselves, and being emotionally
dependent on success or failure.
2. It is OK to experience failure.
a. Jesus failed with one of the 12 he handpicked (an 8% failure rate!).
b. Paul experienced failure.
c. People rejected Jesus. But this is the mystery of free will.
D. Competitiveness. Competing with other leaders or other groups (in and
out of SFC).
1. This leads to putting others down, being blind to different charisms,
and lack of cooperation.
2. Rather, we need to focus on what could best serve people and the
building of the Kingdom.
We do not have to do everything. It might be better for another
group to do it.
E. Over reliance on our own efforts, abilities, and plans.
1. We presume we know God's mind and plunge ahead without
consulting Him.
Such presumption can be linked to idolatry. 1 Samuel 15:23 (Note:
Refer to v.1-23.)
2. To be a son of God is to be led by the Spirit. Romans 8:5-9,14
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3. We may have a tendency to rely more on our group, our leaders, our
movement, our way of doing things, etc., rather than on the Lord
a. Our faith should not lie in our size, our success, our human
b. Our faith is not in the movement, but in the Mover of the


Humility in Leadership
A. We need to have a greater simplicity of goal.
1. We simply point to Jesus, helping people to find Him and to follow
God's design is that the merest of children can understand and
come to Jesus.
2. It is Jesus who saves, who comforts, who fills with the Spirit.
3. Our global evangelization is aimed at making Jesus known.
B. We need to have a greater simplicity of means.
1. Like faith, hope and love.
Faith, not an organization, is what overcomes the world. 1 John 5:4
2. We need to focus on what is primary, and not get bogged down in
secondary things. Galatians 5:5-6
1 Corinthians 13:13
C. We need to have a greater modesty regarding the importance of our
group (household, unit, chapter, etc.), or of the movement itself (SFC), or
of ourselves (our talents, etc.).
1. What is important is that people follow Jesus, not necessarily that
they join our group.
a. Of course, we realize that joining us can be part of God's call to

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b. We readily accede and even rejoice when our members decide
that God is calling them to another ministry.
2. Jesus must increase; we and our group must decrease.


The Joy of Humble Leadership

A. A law of God's kingdom: He raises up the humble, but He cuts down the
B. We can learn the ways and means of leadership, but most important and
basic is to simply know Christ crucified.
C. There is great joy in humble leadership, living Jesus' way of leadership.
There will be misery in pride.


A. It is so liberating to know that we can rely on a faithful God. He called us,
so He will empower us.
B. We need to have faith in God, is His mission for SFC, and in the call to us
to leadership.
C. With our faith and God's faithfulness, CFC Singles for Christ can become a
very strong and effective instrument of God's action in the world.

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From :

Jesus, Son of Joseph

Woodcrafters Carpentry Shop
Nazareth, 25922
Jordan Management Consultants

Dear Sir:
Thank you for submitting the resumes of the twelve men you have picked for
management positions in your new organization. All of them have taken our batte ry
of tests and we have not only run the results through our computer, but also
arranged personal interviews for each of them with our psychologist and vocational
aptitude consultant.
The profiles of all tests are included and you will want to study each of them
As part of our service and for your guidance, we make some general comments,
much as an auditor will include some general statements. This is given as a result of
staff consultation and comes without any additional fee.
It is the staff opinion that most of your nominees are lacking background, education
and vocational aptitude for the type of enterprise you are undertaking. They do not
have the team concept.
Simon Peter is emotionally unstable and given to fits of temper. Andrew has
absolutely no qualities of leadership. The two brothers, James and John, the sons of
Zebedee, place personal interest above company loyalty. Thomas demonstrates a
questioning attitude that would tend to undermine morale. We feel that it is our
duty to tell you that Matthew has been blacklisted by the Greater Jerusalem Better
Business Bureau. James, the son of Alphaeus, and Thaddeus definitely have radical
leanings, and they both registered a high score on the manic depressive scale.
One of the candidates, however, shows great potential. He is a man of ability and
resourcefulness, meets people well, has a keen business mind and has contacts in
high places. He is highly motivated, ambitious and responsible. We recommend
Judas Iscariot as your controller and right hand man. All of the other profiles are
We wish you every success in your new venture.
Jordan Management Consultants
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Expanded Outline

A. We should be models for our household members.
1. We should be living witnesses to the new life in Christ.
2. The words we teach should be reflected in our actions.
B. Our own models:
1. Jesus made His life and words an example. John 13:15
2. Paul also pointed to the witness of his life. 1 Corinthians 11:1
3. Both recognized that actions speak louder than words.
4. They're no longer physically present. Now we're the ones on the
firing line.


Four Aspects of Being a Good Example

A. Conformity of oneself to the observance of everything that makes up life
in SFC.
1. The covenant of CFC Singles for Christ.
2. Our Christian culture in SFC.
a. faithfulness to meetings
b. punctuality
c. affection for brethren
d. speech
e. financial support
3. If we don't live out our covenant and culture, we can't expect our
members to do so.
B. Humility. Be humble in conduct.

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1. Do not think too highly of yourself. Do not assume the airs of an
a. Rather, assume the posture of a servant.
b. You have been given a position. But it's the position of a valet, not
a manager.
2. See to it that your household members have ready access to you.

Be available to them when you are needed.

Note: But teach them also to be reasonable as to time.
Be pleasant in speech; listen patiently.
Be more loved than feared.

3. Don't be a know-it-all.

Note: It is not expected of you to know everything.

4. Foster total dependence on God. Realize that without God we are

C. Maturity:
1. In personal conduct.
a. Don't act lightly. Be serious. Don't behave like a trifler. E.g.,
making silly jokes or antics.
b. While you want to be more loved than feared, there should also
be a certain amount of "fear" or reverence for you.
c. Be authoritative when necessary. Know that your leaders in SFC
are backing you up.
d. Don't play favorites. Do nothing to cause a member to feel that
you scorn him or that you arbitrarily prefer others. All should be
able to trust you and confide in you as their best friend.
2. In attitude toward your work.
a. Be serious regarding your being a household leader. It's important
to your members because the household you lead is where they
draw support for their Christian life.
b. Look on your work as an opportunity to move people on.

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c. Don't cancel any meeting. If you're unavailable, refer to your Unit
Head, who will assign or ask another person to handle your
d. Prepare for your meetings.
3. In judgment. Grow in wisdom.
a. The value of wisdom in Scripture. Proverbs 3:13-15. An ideal of
b. Wisdom is practical understanding that comes from God about
living or doing something. It is not an academic or theoretical
understanding. It is a useful knowledge of the inner workings of

Hebrew "chokmah" skill of a craftsman.

Wisdom concerned mainly with the skill of successful living,

e.g., Christian personal relationships, finance, speech,
relationship to God.

c. But not just wisdom about living, but household leaders need
pastoral wisdom, a practical understanding of how to build up the
body of Christ, how to care for the lives of Christians.
d. How to acquire wisdom?

Basically be rightly related to God. Proverbs 9:10

Like Solomon, ask for it. Pray for it. James 1:5-6

Learn from the Scriptures.

Learn from SFC (teachings & elders). Proverbs 13:14-20

D. Integrity
1. Integrity is the refusal to justify, rationalize or excuse any motivation,
thought or behavior that is inconsistent with the commands and
principles of God's Word.
a. Note: We are not talking of sinlessness (we all still fall into sin),
but refusal to justify, etc. In other words, we can make mistakes;
but how do we handle these?
b. E.g., David. Psalm 78:70-72. The Lord chose David to shepherd his
people "according to the integrity of his heart"

He didn't kill King Saul, because Saul was chosen by God.

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He didn't excuse his sin with Bathsheba when his sin was
exposed by Nathan.

2. God is more concerned about integrity than perfection.

a. Justifying improper motivations is worse than the wrong
motivations themselves. Rationalizing unchristian thoughts is
worse than the original thoughts. Excusing bad behavior is worse
than the behavior itself.
b. Have you ever promised to do something you didn't do at all and
then tried to excuse yourself? Rather than just admit your
c. Integrity is something that is in the very fiber of a man's being. It is
of the very nature and foundation of God's kingdom.
d. A person can have skill, education, even God's anointing, but still
without basic integrity.
3. Integrity is manifested in the 3Ms:
a. Morals

Proverbs 11:3. We do not need to pray about, say, watching

X-rated films, bribery, tax evasion, etc. These should be clearly

We should not just keep a minimum standard of good

conduct. Some people's attitude seems to be: how much can I
get away with?

b. Marriage (For CFC members serving in SFC.)

A leader proves himself in the care of his wife and children. 1

Timothy 3:5

Do all things in your own family that you tell other men to do
in theirs. Or at least, sincerely try to do so.

Give the same quality of care to your wife and children that
you give to others. At times we care for our household
members but neglect our family. Never forget that CFC Singles
for Christ is family-oriented.

c. Ministry

Do not compromise on truth, on God's word, etc.

Say no to certain needs if our priorities require us elsewhere.

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Be open to brethren for scrutiny and correction (especially to

your Unit Head).

Avoid competition with other household heads, units, and


Make decisions based on standards of God's word and the

direction of the Holy Spirit, not what will please others or how
much difficulty you will encounter.

The Value of Being a Good Example

A. Good "masters" generally form good disciples.
1. People who see a better way of life exemplified by their household
leaders often become better Christians and better integrated into the
life of SFC.
2. It's a new way of life for our people. Thus the terri tory is unfamiliar.

You're the one to show them how as Christians and as SFC.

B. Verbal instruction alone is inadequate. It must be accompanied by active

good example.
1. Many teachings are and will be given in SFC. But it is the household
head who sees to it that such teachings are integrated into one's life
and fully lived out.
2. Conversely, a household head showing bad example will nullify
whatever value might have been received in a teaching.


Aside from leading by example, our headship in SFC over people ought to be
evangelistic, not authoritarian or legalistic.
A. Often, new SFC members are not immediately eager about being under
headship. This is a new situation for most. Most are used to answering to
no one but themselves.
B. Thus you need to establish a good, personal relationship first.


Three Situations for Evangelistic Headship

A. New Members (after the CLP).

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1. They are often new to understanding what God is all about.
2. They do not as yet fully appreciate the vision and mission and culture
of SFC.
B. Those with Questions, Reservations and Doubts
1. Some do not experience full conversion during the CLP. For many, it
will be a continuing process.
a. It will be natural and even healthy to have questions. You should
encourage them to openly ask about anything.
b. Reservations and doubts can be normal too. Thus you need to
draw them in and continue the process of evangelization.
2. It does not mean that such people are in a bad situation. They are
just not used to their new life in the Lord.
C. Those who have been with SFC but have had past bad experi ences.
1. This is more difficult than the other two. It is not just a question of
drawing one into the new life, but first, of overcoming what are
obstacles caused by past experiences in SFC.
2. You need to be able to take them where they are at and help them
make a healthy transition.


Elements of Evangelistic Headship

A. Emphasis on qualities like grace (vs. law), patience, giving others the
benefit of the doubt.
1. Your members are going to forget things sometimes, or do things
wrong. Do not be hard on them.
2. Your understanding and patience will win them over.
B. Develop a relationship of trust and openness.
1. Take the position of a servant for them.
a. They need to know that you are for them. Express this openly and
b. Show that your role is not to run their lives, but to guide them as
an older brother/sister.

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c. Be available to them when needed.
2. It may take a while. Patiently work at it.
C. Set lower standards and fewer standards.
1. Do not intimidate or force them.
2. Be basically concerned with standards of righteousness and good
order. Focus on the necessary things.
D. Be a good listener.
1. Get to know your brothers/sisters first.
a. Make sure you know what they are like, what they need to hear.
b. Do not just jump in right away and start telling them what to do.
2. Listen to them.
a. Let them know that you are going to listen to them.
b. Don't jump to conclusions and always assume that you know what
is going on.
c. Don't always have a canned answer.
d. Let them know you really understand what they are saying. Be
honest with them.
e. Acknowledge their good points.
f. You have been given two ears and only one mouth. Be more open
to listening and not just talking.
3. Remember what they tell you.
a. Keep notes of their sharings, happenings in their life.
b. This takes effort. You have to decide to do it.
E. Offer more input in the form of brotherly/sisterly advice and wisdom
rather than more of direction and correction.
1. Do not correct too often (e.g., TV, lateness, drinking).
2. Do not be anxious, defensive and pushy.
a. Hear and try to understand what they are about.
b. Be confident that things can be resolved.
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3. You want your members to grow in confidence in your ability to help
them. Thus do not react as if their problem is too heavy.
F. With all the above, think about the particular situations of your members
and try to piece together a better understanding of where they are at.
1. Ask yourself some questions:
a. What troubles them?
b. What are their strengths and weaknesses?
c. What are they like?
2. You should get to know them well enough such that you can get
insights into their life, which they themselves do not have.


A. The household leaders ought to commit themselves with special
determination to forming their members according to the life of Christ.
Lead them to imitate the Lord in every aspect of their lives.
B. Be a visible model of Christ's way of life. Galatians 2:20
C. What you are doing is breaking someone of his/her wildness,
rebelliousness and independence.
1. By a combination of patience, love and firmness.
2. Aggressiveness on your part is required.
D. Through your efforts, SFC members will more and more enter into their
new life in the Lord and develop greater faithfulness to their life in SFC.

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Expanded Outline

A. In 2 Timothy 3:16, Paul mentions Scripture as a tool that is useful for
reproof, correction and training in holiness.
1. It is evident that correction is considered important in pastoral care.
2. It ranks along with training in holiness.
B. The experience in most cultures, however, is resistance of people to
1. At the bottom of it is fear.
2. Some reasons why we are afraid of correction:
a. Experience of being laughed at because of our mistakes
(sometimes being embarrassed in front of other people).
b. Society's expectation: We are evaluated in terms of what we know
and have achieved. We try to demonstrate our knowledge and
skills. It is painful to have our failures or shortcomings pointed
c. Correction is associated with rejection.
d. Secular society's expectation of self-reliance and independence
leads to hesitation in accepting some body's opinion or judgment
over us especially in case of weaknesses and failures being
pointed out.
C. What do we do?
1. We hide our faults. We cover up.
2. We argue when corrected.


How should we regard correction?

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A. First, understand that the correction we will talk about here is in the
context of Christian personal relationships.
1. In SFC, we have a committed relationship.
2. Correction is not a sign of lifelessness and legalism in a Christian
group. Rather it appears whenever Christians see one another as
brothers and sisters.
B. Scripture says we are foolish to reject correction. Proverbs 12:1,15
1. At the heart of scriptural appreciation of correction is a hatred of sin
and a realization of human fallibility Psalm 141:5.
2. The psalmist is aware that we often don't see all the things in our lives
which need to change. Psalm 19:12-13
C. With God's help, we must overcome our dislike for correction.
D. Don't expect to be always corrected nicely.
E. Response to correction for something we have done wrong requires
repentance, asking forgiveness and change. But correction for something
done poorly requires only a resolve to do it better next time.


Practical Aspects of Correction

A. How to Correct
1. Correction should be simple and straightforward.
2. When giving correction, expect your brother to repent (or resolve to
do better).
3. Give correction in a way that will help a person to change.
B. In Case of Disagreements
1. When a person fails to accept correction, the two parties concerned
should ask a mature Christian to mediate.
2. In case there is still no apparent remedy or resolution, one of the
parties may have to practice forbearance.
3. But if it involves something seriously wrong, the rule in Matthew
18:15-17 should be applied.

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C. Correction works differently in a variety of pastoral situations.
1. Where we don't have a pastoral responsibility for a person (i.e., not a
member of our household; or, in the case of a Unit Head, not a
member of his unit), we still have a responsibility of love and care for
our brethren in SFC.
a. Correction here is offered in a spirit of helpfulness.
b. In serious cases, talk to his Household Head or Unit Head.
2. Where we have pastoral responsibility for someone, correction
becomes one of many pastoral tools to help a person grow in
relationship with the Lord and other people.
3. The pastoral nature of a relationship may allow the leader to probe
more deeply into the lives of people in his charge.

This is true of training relationships, such as parents with

children, or a pastoral leader with a man who has placed
himself under personal headship in order to be formed in
character and service (this is not normally the case in SFC).

4. If the person we are correcting is in authority over us, we should give

our correction respectfully, leaving the final judgment about any
change up to the other person.


Strategy for Learning Correction

A. Look to our own behavior and attitudes.
B. Overcome fears about giving correction.
C. Learn to handle anger.
D. Be willing to learn.
E. Focus on the goals of pastoral care.


A common complaint of people is that they receive more criticism than

1. In our secular environment, it is often that we hear lots of negative
humor and comments.

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2. As we grow in the Christian life, we will discover the importance of
giving praise and encouragement to others.
3. Often also, we take people near to us for granted.


We might be generous in encouraging the mailman or grocery

clerk, but fail to encourage those close to us (spouse and
children for couples, parents and brothers and sisters for
singles, SFC household members).

This needs to change. God himself was most encouraging with

His own Son. Matthew 3:17

Corrections greatest ally: Encouragement.


Heres an Encouragement Self-Test. Following is a survey to test your

encouragement quotient ("The Secret of Encouragement" by Paul
Anderson, New Covenant, March 1983). If you can answer "yes" to at
least 12 of the following 14 questions, you do not need to listen to this
talk, just keep up the good work.
1. Do my words of encouragement easily outweigh my words of
correction or criticism?
2. Am I generally uplifting to be around?
3. Would my family consider me a basically encouraging person?
4. Do words of praise for others come easily to me?
5. Have I been careful to ask forgiveness of others when I have spoken in
a negative or discouraging way?
6. Have I been diligent to encourage those who are under me children,
students, employees, wife, brothers, sisters, and fellow SFC
7. Have I been diligent to encourage those God has placed over me
teachers, employers, elders, pastors, church leaders, civil servants,
governments leaders?
8. Do I pass along only the good news and swallow the gossip?
9. Does my conversation with friends generally build others up?
10. Do I think more about looking for opportunities to give praise than my
need to receive it?
11. Do I have a genuine desire to grow as a person who encourages

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12. Am I able to bring encouragement to those who have hurt me? Can I
bless those who have hurt me? Can I bless those who have
persecuted me as Scripture admonishes?
13. Have I looked for creative ways of affirming my younger brothers and
sisters (my children if CFC) so that they grow up loving themselves?
14. Have I recognized how encouraging God is to His whole creation? To

(Those who passed "yes" to 12 out of 14 may now leave)

B. Here's another survey from the book "Encouraging One Another" by Gene
1. Are you able to get excited about the good things that happen to
others? Are you able to tell them that you're glad? Can you enter
into their joy? If you can, you are an encourager.
2. Are you living a committed Christian life? To what extent are you able
to encourage others "to remain true to the Lord with all their hearts"?
If you can, you are reflecting your own commitment to Christ. You are
an encourager.
3. Are you able to accept other people for who they are? Do you see the
best in people? Do you freely associate with people who are different
from you? If you can, you are relatively free from prejudice and you
are an encourager.


Encouragement is God's Gift

A. God's plan is to continue the work of His Son through the Holy Spirit.
Thus, when Jesus left his disciples, he promised to send them this Holy
Spirit identified in the Bible as "counselor", "comforter", "helper".
1. The Greek word used is parakletos. Literally, paraclete. Frequently
translated "to encourage". Therefore, it is appropriate to identify the
Holy Spirit's action and presence as that of encouragement.
2. William Barclay, a Greek Bible scholar, points out that in ordinary
secular Greek, the most characteristic usage of parakletos
(encourager) is in connection with help given in a legal trial. A
paraclete then helps us when we are in trouble; when we are in a
situation with which we cannot cope.

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B. Literally the word "encourage" is a compound of two words: "en"
meaning to put in or into" and "courage" meaning strength and
C. How does God encourage us?
1. He brings comfort.

God is often pictured, especially in the Old Testament, as

coming to the side of the needy and encouraging them. Psalm
23:4; Isaiah 40:1-2a; Isaiah 66:13

2. He stands by us.
a. While the disciples discouraged the woman who brought the
alabaster jar of ointment, Jesus gave her the kind of praise that
made her gift a memorial.
b. Jesus came to the aid of the woman taken in adultery and forgave
c. Jesus came to the side of many who were sick, dismissing the
discouraging words of crowds and even of his own disciples.
d. When the disciples were mourning His death, Jesus came to them
and strengthened them.
3. He defends us like a defense lawyer. Mark 13:11
4. He urges us on and exhorts us.
a. In classical Greek, the word was often used to refer to exhorting
troops about to go to battle. The word has a rallying call to it. It
not only emphasizes, it motivates. It not only gives comfort, it
gives courage. It sends hesitant soldiers into war.
b. 1 Thessalonians 5:11-14; Hebrews 3:13; Hebrews 10:24
5. He opens doors for us.

Barnabas was a disciple of Jesus who secured the admission of

the convert Saul into the fellowship of the Jews when other
disciples were suspicious of the former persecutor. Often,
God gives us an opening or entry for some work that is
important to us.

6. He provides a way back to Him. Sirach 17:19

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How does it apply to us?

A. Encouragement is an action of the Holy Spirit. He often uses people to
impart encouragement to His beloved. We must be open to being His
1. There is very little encouragement taking place between and among
us. People are growing disillusioned, discontent and discouraged.
God wants us to rise up to this hour of need.
2. For us in leadership positions, it ceases to be a mere option. It
becomes a duty. To encourage our members is a duty in the Lord.
B. How do we encourage one another in SFC?
1. Consistent attendance is an encouragement to all.

Hebrews 10:25

2. Turn to Scriptures.

Without the message of Scripture we would not have much

with which to encourage one another.

3. Pray for one another.

It is very encouraging to know that brothers and sisters are

praying for you. In fact, that we are part of a world wide
network of prayer.

4. Say a positive and encouraging word to one another.

Especially during times of problems and discouragement, but

also on ordinary times.

5. Encourage each other to be faithful to our Christian duties and to our

SFC covenant.
6. Avoid empty words of flattery and false assurances.
7. Listen to one another.

Listening is healing.

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A. Correction is a very important pastoral tool:
1. For the spiritual life and direction of every Christian.
2. For the life of our community, for the sake of our mission in SFC.
B. Correction is something done out of love for the other person. We need
to take it seriously as one very important aspect of loving our neighbor.
C. We do not have to look very far or worry too much about our task as
household leaders. Much can be accomplished by taking on the ministry
of encouragement.
D. There is much in our new life to be encouraged and be joyful about. Let
us continue to point these out to ourselves and to the people we lead.

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Expanded Outline

A. Our goal in serving in CFC Singles for Christ is to be the best for the Lord
and for the people He has entrusted to us.
B. A process that will enable us to serve better is evaluation.
1. Experience is a great teacher, and regular evaluation helps us to learn
from our experiences.
2. Evaluation enables us to avoid repeating mistakes.
3. Evaluation helps us to learn how to maintain successful elements of
our service.
C. Our attitude should be that we want our service evaluated openly and
1. We should not be afraid to be shown that we have committed a
2. We should desire to constantly learn and improve on our work for the


The Context of Christian Evaluation

A. Competitiveness and hostility in society make evaluation a fearful thing.
1. We are unconsciously trained to examine ourselves in comparison
with others.
a. Grades in school can cause difficulties due to emotional and
psychological pressure.
b. In the business world, fierce competition affects salary and
c. Social competitiveness.
2. Being looked on as OK is always at the expense of someone else.

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B. For Christians, what comes first is our relationship as brothers and sisters.
1. How successful we are in our performance is not what determines
love for and commitment to one another.
2. Poor functioning, failure to achieve, low performance levels, will not
be reasons for rejection.
C. Our perspective: members of the body have different gifts and functions.
1Corinthians 12; Romans 12:3-8
1. All these gifts must work interdependently in order to achieve the
common good of the body.
2. We do not compete with one another, but rather we work together as
a team.

We try to help everyone else to achieve maximum effectiveness using their gifts.

3. We also need to affirm our brethren's gifts and achievements.


This helps people become more secure in their service.

Evaluation Occurs in SFC in Three Ways

A. Feedback
1. SFC members should be encouraged to have a sense of responsibility
for how things go in our life and mission.
a. We are all in this together. Responsibility does not lie only with
the leaders.
b. The Lord speaks to every member and can use anyone to point
things out.
2. Anyone can give feedback to the person responsible for a particular
task or area of service.

Subordinates can give feedback to those over them.

3. It is best to give negative feedback only to the person who has

responsibility for the service.
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Expressing negative criticisms to just anyone can become

grumbling, complaining, gossip or slander.

B. Evaluation Sessions
1. The whole SFC community should often engage in evaluation at
different levels.
a. Households can evaluate how their meetings are going and how
relationships are developing.
b. The chapter can regularly evaluate how its evangelization is going.
c. The music ministry can evaluate how effectively they are
contributing to communal worship.
2. Especially for major community events, there should be a time for
evaluating the events, so that lessons may be learned, and
improvements for the future discovered.
C. Evaluation by Heads
1. Those with responsibility for different areas of service ought to
conduct regular evaluation of the service and of the individuals who
are performing it.
2. It is very helpful for a person to know from those who oversee his
service how well he is doing.


This can result in freedom to serve more effectively and in a

sense of security in working for the Lord.

How to Give Evaluation

A. Follow a right order to evaluation.
1. First, set the context. Begin with an overall view of the situation or
2. Then, concentrate on the positive before the negative.
a. Commend people for what they have done well.
b. Exchange ideas for improving what is basically a good situation.
c. Avoid the tendency, coming from a worldly understanding of
evaluation, to pick out faults.

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3. Having noted the positive contributions, discuss areas that can be
improved and offer negative criticism.
a. Do not be afraid to give critical evaluation.
b. Give critical evaluation as specifically as possible.
c. Say it in a way that is helpful and can be accepted readily by the
person concerned.
B. Be careful to give evaluation in a way that does not question the heart or
commitment of the individual or group.
1. Rather, we should recognize the stability of a person's commitment,
while addressing what he has done wrong.
2. The one being evaluated, in turn, should not question our love for and
commitment to him/her.
a. They should avoid being apologetic and trying to rationalize.
b. They should acknowledge mistakes right away.
C. We must be open and straightforward.
1. There should be no hinting, negative humor or manipulation.
2. We are responsible to inform people who are not doing well in order
to allow them to change and improve.

We should not ignore a problem, or fear candor and honesty.

3. Real love seeks what is best for others, correcting them if necessary.
Hebrews 12:5-9


How to Receive Evaluation

A. We should be grateful to have brothers and sisters who care enough for
us to give us evaluation.
1. Positive evaluation is important for our encouragement.
evaluation is important for improvement in our service.


2. We should not question their love for and commitment to us.

B. We should be humble, knowing that we do not know every thing.
Proverbs 12:15
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C. We need to value constructive criticism.
1. The wise man appreciates being shown his errors. Proverbs 9:8-9
a. We should want to get things exposed and look at criticism as an
occasion to change, irregardless of how it is said or by whom.
b. We should set aside any defensiveness.
2. This frees us in our service, with the knowledge that we can count on
others to point things out to us.


A. We are sinful and worldly and we will continue to commit mistakes as we
serve the Lord.
B. But God wants to use us in spite of ourselves, as long as we are open and
willing to learn from Him.
C. Christian evaluation is an important tool for our growth in loving and
serving the Lord.

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Expanded Outline
One to one is a very important pastoral tool wherein the household head talks
individually to each member to address concerns that cannot be brought up in the
household. It is also a venue where the household head can get to know each
member in a deeper way. One to one is done, not only to address concerns but also
but more essentially, to help the household head guide and pastor his or her
On the minimum, one to ones should be done regularly once a quarter. If serious
and urgent concerns will arise, a one to ones should be done even if it is not in

A. Prior to the One-to-Ones

1. Schedule the one-to-one at least a week before the actual date.
2. Pray and discern Gods direction for the one-to-one.

Personal Life
Family Life
Career Life
Prayer Life
Love Life
Service Life

3. Give advice on the topic of the one-to-one so that he/she can also pray for
leading, revelation.
4. Set up the one-to-one in an appropriate venue at an appropriate time.

Appropriate venue a place where both parties can discuss with ease
and comfort; a quiet, private place.
- preferably at home of either party.
- free from disturbances, phone calls.

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Appropriate time both parties free at this time, no pressing

appointments that may disrupt free flow of discussion.

B. On the Day of the One-to-Ones

1. Leader conducting one-to-one should be at the venue 15 minutes prior or
exactly at the agreed- on time.
2. As soon as he/she arrives and settles down, leader should start the one-toone.
3. Have a short opening prayer, invoking openness, honesty and wisdom.
4. Then state the purpose/direction of the one-to-one; what the activity hopes
to accomplish; and how it will help you pastor him in his spiritual life.
5. Initiate the first question. But in the ensuing discussion, leader should be
more of a listener trying to absorb as much of what he/she is trying to say.
6. After every appropriate ending, leader summarizes points taken up and
integrates them to points earlier discussed to assure continuity.
7. Leader should take note of pastoral issues that need to be discussed more
incisively. An action plan to address the pastoral issues raised must be
8. Leader summarizes points shared, including actions agreed on for pastoral
issues. He then asks if there are additional points that he/she may have
missed and wishes to ask.
9. Leader closes with a short prayer of thanksgiving and empowerment.

C. Post One-to-Ones
1. One-to-one dialogue between the Household head and the member should
be scheduled every quarter. The entire dialogue may take a maximum of two
2. For succeeding one-to-ones, the Household Head should refer to outputs of
previous one-to-one.
3. Leader should follow through with the SFC member action points of the oneto-one in between the scheduled sessions.
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D. Tips for the Leader

1. Leader should coach/facilitate the SFC member to articulate/express
him/herself. Practice active listening techniques asking follow-up questions,
paraphrasing, etc.
2. Leaders intent should be more about knowing the member better through
what he/she is sharing, more than giving correction, reprimanding.
3. Leader should have a mental picture of the key points of the sharing,
especially those items with pastoral implications.
4. Writing down key points is NOT an option as this can intimidate the member
and affect the openness with which the sharing is being made.
5. Leader should take care that the discussion does not fall into a corporate vs.
personal tone. This is still a personal dialogue, even if guidelines are given for
order and efficiency.

Workshop Proper:
1. Divide the participants into a group of three members.
2. Every member of the group will be assigned a specific role.
Member the one who will act as the member who was invited for a
Household Head the one who will conduct the one-to-one.
Observer will take note of the good practices and things to improve
on in the one-to-one that was conducted.
3. If time allows it, the group members can rotate roles to make them
experience the other perspective as well.
4. The workshop facilitator will process and give more inputs as needed by the

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Workshop No. 2 : GIVING A TALK / SHARING
Expanded Outline

I. Introduction
During households, an atmosphere is created wherein the members receive
learnings in the form of talks or teachings. After which, they are encouraged to open
up and share about Gods messages to them as inspired by the teachings.
Therefore, it is the Household heads important task to prepare and deliver
effectively a discerned talk or topic and facilitate a healthy participation from his/her
members in the sharing that follows.
This workshop aims to give the Household head a basic guide on how to deliver talks
or share a personal testimony that can be a source of learning and life for his/her
members in the household.

II. Giving a Talk

A. Preparing for a talk
1. Begin with the end in mind.
a. Know what you want your members to hear and
b. People can see if you believe in what you are saying. In
this way you can come up with your own example. Your
examples will be more effective because they are
personal. (e.g. Gods love in your life)
2. Prepare your outline.
a. As you go through the outline, begin finding out ways to
get across your message. What does my audience need to
hear? How can I effectively bring that message across?
b. Imagery is important. Come up with examples, anecdotes,
stories that might help illustrate your point.
c. Inject stories. People prefer hearing stories rather than
theoretical teachings.
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d. Make your outline personal. Dont preach---share. People
are not looking for teachers, but witnesses. People that
they can relate with and where they see the work of the
Lord actually taking place.
3. Prayer
Let the Holy Spirit guide you. Ask the Lord what He wants
you to say to your audience.

B. Presenting the Outline

1. Prayer
Pray as you speak. Listen to the Lord.
2. Speaking to the Audience
Communicate to the people, look at them, and scan.
Rapport- be able to generate good reaction from your
audience. This is where jokes are useful.
3. Clarity
Your audience should have an idea where you are.
Number your points
Speak clearly with enough volume and pitch. (e.g. use a
microphone/sound system if you need to.)
4. Tailor-fitting Your Talk (Speak in a way that fits your audience).
To particular age group: language and examples that your
audience can relate to.
To the level of commitment of audience.
Never use green/ negative humor.
5. Posture
Be confident
Avoid mannerisms (e.g. letting your hands play around)
Walk around. Use helpful gestures.
6. Dressing Decently
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Be ready to adjust your talk depending on the time.
The ideal time for a talk usually ranges between 30 to 45
minutes. For a Household Prayer Meeting 15 minutes will

8. Ending With a High Note

Challenge/ encourage your audience at the end of your

C. Attitudes


Good speakers are made not born.

Trust in the Lord. God often allows us to experience this so
that it will allow us to pray.
It is the Lords work to save, not yours.
a. Dont impress. Speak only what the Lord wants you to say.
if you have prepared, youve done your part. The Lord
does the rest.
b. Your goal is not to make the participants cry or to convince
them, but to tell the truth.
The word of the Lord is never spoken in vain.
c. Speak your best, because it is the Lord who is asking you --Be a faithful mouthpiece of the Lord.

4. Love the people you are speaking to. As Christ allowed you to
experience this love, He wants the people you are speaking to,
to experience it as well.
5. Remember that they need the Lord, and thats why you are
speaking to them.
6. Availability
a. Accept assignments to speak or share.
b. Not accepting would be tantamount to saying that God
has not been able to do anything in your life.

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III. Giving a Sharing

A. How to Share your Personal Testimony
1. Personal Testimonies given after a talk is used to show that what is said in
the talk can actually happen. These are stories of bad to good or good
to better situations in our lives.
2. The ABCs of Sharing:
A Audible
B Brief
C Christ-centered
3. Prepare your personal testimony/ sharing.
Choose one aspect in your life that the Lord is working in, one that is
related to the talk being given. (e.g. resentment)
Divide your sharing into 3 parts:
- Before: share what you were experiencing in that area of your life
before the Lord began to work. (E.g. I was resentful of my
- During: show what the turning point was. What did the Lord do?
(E.g. I found out the Lord forgave me so I should forgive...)
- After: How has that area in your life improved so far. (E.g. Slowly
my relationship with my parents is healing. We can now talk to
each other more...)
The ideal time for sharing your personal testimony is 3 to 5 minutes.
Make your sharing personal, concrete. This makes it real.
Stick only to what is true. Dont exaggerate your sharing.

B. Attitudes
Be confident. It is good to note that nobody will disagree with your
sharing because its subjective.
Whatever you are sharing, somebody out there needs to hear your
story. Somebody will be able to relate with your experience.
As the Lord continues to work in new areas of your life, so will your
sharing evolve as well. Update your sharing.
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Workshop Proper:
1. Divide the participants into groups of four (4) members each.
2. Assign a leader who will act as the Household head of the group.
3. Sample household topics will be prepared and written on pieces of paper
(e.g. CLP talks, etc.) and distributed randomly to the assigned household
4. The assigned household heads will be given 5-10 minutes to prepare a short
talk/topic about it.
5. As the household heads prepare, the workshop facilitator will instruct all the
group members to actively listen to their assigned household heads later.
After the talk of their household heads, their task is to give
feedbacks/observations as to how their household head delivered his/her
talk and sharing.
6. Once ready, the assigned household head will go to his/her group and then
deliver the talk/topic like in a normal household and then give his/her
sharing afterwards. Allot about 15 minutes for this.
7. After the talk, the group will now discuss among themselves their feedbacks
and observations.
8. The workshop facilitator will process and give more inputs as needed by the

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Expanded Outline
I have asked the Lord for one thing, one thing only do I want: to live in the Lords
house all my life, to marvel there at His goodness, and to ask for His guidance.
Isaiah 27:4

I. Introduction
Household is about coming together as brothers and sisters, worshipping God,
communicating in prayer and sharing life-giving testimonies of realizations and
experiences to each other. It is our basic venue to grow in faith and relationship
with God. It is important that we strive to make our households true to its
As household heads and leaders in our community, it is important for us to have
thorough understanding of worship, which is an integral part of our household
meetings. We use this tool for us to connect and experience Gods holy presence in
our gathering. And as household heads we must know how to lead wors hip for our
members to grow closer to God.

II. Understanding Worship

It is said in John 4:24, God is a Spirit and they that worship Him must worship
Him in spirit and truth. When we come to God in worship, we put things in their
proper perspective: Who is God and who are we? In doing so, we must understand
what worship really is and what it is for. In context, worship is:
1. The central point of our gatherings. Its supposed to be inspiring. Worship
should be nourishing and spirit-filled and must build up the body.
2. Coming into the loving, healing and mighty presence of God and eventually
being in communion with God.
3. Paying homage to our King. Just like in the ancient times where people
regularly pay tribute or tax, etc to their king, we come to God admitting
everything we have is His and that He alone is worthy of our praise and
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4. A foretaste of heaven. It is the time when we, in our fallen, sinful, and
human natures, are able to connect to God in spiritthe way it was meant
to be before our sins made it impossible for us to continually be in Gods
presence (as Adam and Eve were). It allows us a foretaste of the kind of
relationship we will have with God when we are made perfect in heaven.
When we say worship is putting things in proper perspective, it only means that we
acknowledge Gods greatness and marveling in His goodness - that He alone is
worthy to be praised.

III. Levels of Worship

As we are taught in the community, there are three levels we usually go through
when we worship.
1. The first is when we start speaking words of PRAISE or what we might be
likened to as introductions in any audience. This is where we honor God
and acknowledge His greatness
2. The second is WORSHIP this is when we start saying how we feel and when
we begin to truly realize Gods greatness. In this level, people start to offer
themselves to God saying I belong to youmy life is yours.
3. The third is GLORY this is when we actually come into the holy presence of
God. It is at this level that God speaks, we listen then we respond. This is
where we receive prophecies, visions, where we cry at the realization of
Gods love and mercy, where emotional and physical healing takes place.
All these levels are just phasing to the one thing that we wish to achieve:
communion with God; that in our fallen state, we can actually bask in Gods
presence and experience heaven on earth.

IV. Sequence of Worship

1. Start the worship. Start by exhorting you members first.
a. Why do we need to exhort?
Exhortations can be liken to famous speeches in movies like Braveheart,
300, and Coach Carter. It is like giving a pep talk. It is about giving people
reason to worship. It is done before worship because we need to get
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people ready to be in the Lords presence, and remind them why we
worship Him.
It is an act of encouragement; we encourage people to come to God.
Exhortation is neither coercion nor manipulation; it falls into the area of
persuasion. To persuade is to encourage. We must understand that the
people gathered came from different settings and different state of heart.
Some are happy and joyful but some are weary and tired. We must never
assume that simply because people are gathered together in one place,
they are necessarily ready to worship. Through loving understanding, the
leader should bring them to a state of readiness, a place of open surrender
to the Holy Spirit.
b. How do we exhort?
An exhortation need not be long but should be encouraging and should
acknowledge Gods greatness in our lives. Three to five minutes of
exhortation is more than enough. To exhort you can use a personal
sharing, a story or a bible verse as long as it is centered on God and will
inspire your listeners to worship God.
Deliver your exhortation with confidence and clarity, remember your goal
is encourage if what you say is vague and confusing you will miss the point.
Keep your exhortations simple and relatable but still inspiring.

2. Invite your members to worship and make the sign of the cross.
To formally engage in the presence of God make the sign of the cross. Through
this we acknowledge that we are in Gods presence and we are ready to praise
and worship him.

3. Sing songs; sing the two (2) fast songs first followed by the slow song. Do
some simultaneous praising after each fast song and after the slow song
invite your members to sing in the Spirit.
In a household meeting we use a full worship format, wherein we sing two
(2) fast songs and one (1) slow song. This is to enable our membe rs to reach
the highest level in worship (glory level). Singing less than three (3) songs
may not be sufficient, singing more than three (3) songs may be too long and
dragging; three (3) songs are enough for you to reach the glory level in

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In choosing your songs, choose songs that glorify/worship God and are
familiar to your members. Your members will have a hard time worshipping if
they do not know the song and if the song is not suitable for worship. Choose
songs that are intended for praise and worship, avoid songs that are intended
for contemporary/pop music.
Days before your household pray and discern for the songs you will use, as
much as possible they are in line with your exhortation. Songs are very
important in worship because they act as vessels for us to worship fully. They
aid us in leading. That is why we need to choose the songs we will use

4. Listening and sharing Gods message.

After singing a lot an ample time for listening to God, exhort your members
to listen to what God is telling them and then share it to the group. As the
leader, you can share a bible verse or gospel for the day or a personal
message from the Lord based from the leading of the Spirit.

5. Prayer proper
This is the part where you vocalize your prayers. You may follow the ACTS
(Adoration, Contrition, Thanksgiving, Supplication) format. Encourage your
members to vocalize their prayers and express themselves in prayer.


It is the part when we sing Songs of Praises and the

household head after the songs says praises and honor
to God acknowledging His goodness, power and
faithfulness in our lives.
The household head says a short prayer for forgiveness
in behalf of the group not pertaining to a specific
Thanksgiving Starting from the head, every household member
should participate in saying their individual prayers of
thanksgiving. (Members response after every
thanksgiving: Yes Lord, We praise You and we thank
Supplication Here every member of the household mentions their
individual prayers of petition and intercession.
[Members response after every petition: Yes Lord,
hear our prayer.]

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6. Concluding prayer. End by reciting Catholic Prayers (like the Our father, Hail
Mary and the Glory Be) as a sign of our faith.

V. Guidelines in Worship Leading

1. Be Sensitive and Lead Until the End
As a worship leader, you need to be sensitive in leading the worship session.
You dont just lead to start and then leave them by themselves, guide them
until the whole session ends. Know the posture of your group. Remember
that your goal is to lead them to reach their highest level of worship. Be
sensitive with your groups needs and the leading of the Holy Spirit. (Note:
The Speaker can give examples of his actual experiences in worship leading.)
2. Be a Model
Dont expect your members to pray and worship hard if they cannot see it in
you. Human beings learn from example, be a model to your members. Be the
first ones to sing and clap, to raise hands in worship, to vocalize a prayer,
especially when your members are new or shy.
3. Be Patient and Encouraging
Be patient with our members. Do not expect that they are in the same
spiritual level as you are. But patience alone is not enough, you must also
learn to encourage and guide them. That way, they would know that you are
concerned with their growth and you want them to genuinely experience
4. Persevere to improve
Have that desire to improve as a leader, keep on studying and learning how
to lead effectively. Read books and ask your leaders for tips. Observing other
people will also help. We do this so that we will become the best leader for
our members and we will glorify God in the process.

VI. Conclusion
And all of us, with our unveiled faces like mirrors reflect ing the glory of the
Lord, are being transformed into the image that we reflect in brighter and
brighter glory; this is the working of the Lord who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:18 (NJB)
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Like Moses, when people are brought into Gods presence, they are changed
from one degree of glory to the next. This is the privilege we have as household
heads and leaders of our communityto help people experience the pure joy
and ecstasy of Gods presence in worship. It should be our intention to always
bring people into this level of communion and reconciliation with Jesus in spirit
and our own joy to see them somehow changed.

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