Bible Jumpers

By
Jon Morgan

Draft #3

2008 Jon Morgan morganian2002@yahoo.com

 Cast of Characters
Regina:
William:
Stephanie:
Eve:
Adam (V.O.):
Little Angel: Kayla Morgan
Noah:
Noah’s Wife:
Goliath:
David:
Guard #1:
Guard #2:

Devil:
Disciple:
Soldier:
 ACT I
1 Scene 1:Regina’s Desk
As the play opens, two angels dressed in white
robes enter through the doorway at stage right.
One is carrying a toolkit and the other is
carrying a laptop bag. One is named WILLIAM and
the other is named STEVE.
STEPHANIE and WILLIAM stop at a desk occupied by
another angel named REGINA. Regina is talking on
the telephone and doesn’t pay attention to the two
computer technicians.
REGINA
(Into the phone)
So, I told Peter that he needs to keep a better watch
on who he lets into--
William steps closer to the desk.
WILLIAM
Ahem!
Regina stops talking on the telephone for a
second, looks up, then resumes.
REGINA
--Oh, I know! I couldn’t believe it either--
WILLIAM
(With more gusto)
Ahem!
STEPHANIE
(Very slowly with drama)
Excuse me...!
REGINA
(Into the phone)
Well, Sharice, I gotta let you go...I’ll talk to you
later. (Hangs up the phone; Looks up) Can I help you?
WILLIAM
This is Stephenie (Motions to Stephanie), and I’m
William. We were sent here from Heaven Computer Support
to take a look at the computer in the Big Man’s office.
REGINA
You’re here to do what?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 2.

STEPHANIE
We’re here to fix God’s computer.
REGINA
(Suddenly Understanding)
Ooohh..You’re from HCS? Why didn’t you just say so?
William and Stephanie shrug and roll their eyes,
then head to the back of the stage towards GOD’S
OFFICE.
REGINA
(Quickly)
Hold on, Guys. . .you aren’t allowed in God’s office
WILLIAM
Well, why not?
REGINA
Nobody’s allowed into the office without supervision.
That’s the rule.
Regina points to a sign hung above her desk which
states: "Rule #1: Nobody is allowed into God’s
Office without supervision"
WILLIAM
What’s rule number two?
REGINA
Rule number two?
WILLIAM
Well, sure! If there’s a number one, there’s always a
number two. Otherwise, what’d you need a number one
for--Ooff!
(Steve pokes William in the ribs)
STEPHANIE
Listen, if it were up to me, I would turn around and
head right back to our office, sit down, and have a
nice cup of coffee.
WILLIAM
And donuts!
STEPHANIE
Donuts? Someone brought in donuts?
WILLIAM
Yeah! with the creme in the middle--

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 3.

WILLIAM
(Refocussing)
But, getting back to the issue at hand, its really not
up to us. We were dispatched on a ultra-urgent Priority
One case.
STEPHANIE
That’s the highest priority that there can be!
WILLIAM
. . . So important that they nearly declared a Code
Red!
STEVE
Real important! It has to be a code purple at the VERY
LEAST!
REGINA
(Doubtful)
You were sent over on a priority one issue?
WILLIAM
Yes, Ma’am! I’ve got the ticket right here.
Pulls out an interoffice envelope and hands it to
her. She opens it and looks at the ticket.
REGINA
Looks like an Archangel called this in... (Addressing
the technicians) Alright! I’ll let you in, but you’ve
got to promise me something.
WILLIAM
Anything!
STEPHANIE
Just Name it!
REGINA
You need to remember not to touch anything while you’re
in God’s office, except for his computer.
WILLIAM
No problem. We’ll fix his computer and ignore anything
else that’s in there.
STEPHANIE
We’ll be in and out before you know it, we promise.
William nods in agreement

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 4.

REGINA
Okay, go on in.
The two technicians exit stage left towards the
organ.
The lights go down.
2 Scene 2: God’s Office
God’s office is the largest standing set on stage.
It is towards the back of the altar and consists
of one or two cubicle walls. Inside the office
there is an executive-sized desk, a chair, and
various other furniture. A computer sits on the
desk along with a cup full of pens and pencils.
There are also trays on the desk marked "in" and
"out."
One key part of this set is the TIME MACHINE
PORTAL. This is actually the doorway just behind
the piano which is to STAGE RIGHT of the action.
The door will be closed until the TIME MACHINE
PORTAL is activated.
Another important of scenery is a portrait of
Jesus which is referred to during the dialogue,
and whimsical signs such as "I Bless This Mess."
The lights turn on to signal the start of the next
scene. STEPHANIE and WILLIAM enter from stage left
and head directly for the office.
WILLIAM
(Entering the office)
Wow! Check it out! (taps Steve on the shoulder) Aren’t
you impressed?
STEPHANIE
I dunno . . . just looks like an office to me.
WILLIAM
Just an office? But this isn’t just anybody’s office!
You’re inside God’s office!!
STEPHANIE
Well, sure. . .I guess I always pictured his office
being.....bigger.
William circles around tho office as he speaks

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 5.

WILLIAM
Just think! (Points to the desk) That’s where God sat
when he talked to Noah! (Points to the picture of
Jesus) That picture’s been on his wall since his son
came back. Whenever God needed a plan, he sat in this
office.
STEPHANIE
It does seem pretty awesome when you put it that way.
(Beat) But, we better to work on that computer. We
don’t want Regina to think that we’re breaking our
promise.
WILLIAM
Okay. (Quickly taps on the keyboard). Uh, oh . . . I
see the problem right here.
STEPHANIE
What? (steps behind the office to look at the computer)
WILLIAM
This computer is out of date.
STEPHANIE
No kidding! What’s it running?
WILLIAM
Microsoft Windows BC. We can’t update the operating
system until we give it some more memory.
(Turns towards STAGE LEFT)
I’ll run out and pick up what we need. (Hesitates)
Remember..don’t touch anything!
Stephanie shrugs.
William exits stage left
STEPHANIE sits down at God’s desk. She looks over
her shoulder, then picks up the phone receiver.
STEPHANIE
(In a deep falsetto voice) Hello, God Speaking.
(Pause)Please, slow down Ma’am. You’re getting married
on Thursday and hope it doesn’t rain during the
ceremony? (Leans back and places her feet on the desk)
Well, I could arrange that. I am God, after all. Heh,
heh, heh. (pause) You don’t have to worry at all.
STEPHANIE BEGINS TO SPIN AROUND IN THE CHAIR. AS SHE DOES,
SHE ACCIDENTALLY KNOCKS OVER THE CUP OF PENS AND PENCILS
THAT IS SITTING ON THE DESK.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 6.

STEPHANIE
Oh, no--
Stephanie crouches down to pick up up the spilled
pens and pencils.
The lights flicker off as we hear the sound of
TIME TRAVEL. The TIME PORTAL opens up to reveal an
intense light. STEPHANIE stands up in reaction to
the light. She drops the cup of pens/pencils in
surprise.
STEVE
Whoa--
She backs up in fright.
There is a new sound of TIME TRAVEL as two figures
emerge from the portal. Both collapse on the
floor, but the first figure stands up almost
immediately. The figures will be revealed to be
WILLIAM from an alternate reality and EVE. WILLIAM
is wearing a deep red jumpsuit. EVE wears a
two-piece swimsuit.
The lights come back on as the portal closes and
the sound effects end.
STEPHANIE
William! What were you doing in there? You were
supposed to be getting gear for the computer . . .
WILLIAM
(Stands up)
Stephanie, forget about the computer! Something
horrible just happened to all of the major events in
the bible!
STEPHANIE
What are you talking about?
WILLIAM
This might be difficult for you to understand, but I’m
not the William you think you know. (pause) I am from a
different reality where Noah never built the ark, and
the Last Supper was canceled due to a shortage of
bread. I caught someone in the act of changing the
events of the bible, but lost their trail somewhere in
the past. I came here because I need your help.
EVE groans as she slowly stands up.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 7.

STEPHANIE
But . . . there’s no such thing as alternative
realities or time travel.
WILLIAM
(To EVE) Eve, tell her what happened.
EVE
Adam and I were strolling through the garden when all
of the sudden the ground began to shake, and we heard a
loud growling sound (on the verge of tears) . .
suddenly, we were attacked by a giant lizard which
stood upright and towered over the tallest trees. Adam
and I ran as fast as we could, but it snatched him up
with its foul teeth and..and..(cuts himself off). I
would have been next if William hadn’t saved me.
STEPHANIE
So..are saying that Adam was eaten by a . . . dinosaur
. . . in the middle of the Garden of Eden?
WILLIAM
(sadly)
I saw it with my own two eyes.
STEPHANIE
Good Gracious!
WILLIAM
I’m afraid there’s nothing good about it.(Lifts up time
machine remote controller) I stole this from the Devil
himself. He’s the one who has been tampering with
history just so he’ll have more power in the future.
STEPHANIE
But how did the dinosaurs end up in the Garden of Eden?
WILLIAM
That’s what we’re going to find out. (Lifts up the
controller, begins punching in commands) We need to go
back to the moment of creation itself and stop the
Devil. (He aims the remote at the TIME PORTAL with
purpose)
There is the sound of TIME TRAVEL. The portal
opens up as the lights dim, and there is an
intense beam of light. William, Eve, and Stephanie
step off stage through the portal. The door
closes, and the stage grows doark. The TIME TRAVEL
sounds end.
 8.

ACT II
3 Scene 1: God’s Office
The lights go up.
God’s office has changed.
In place of the computer on the desk there is a
giant globe on some kind of stand. Next to the
globe there are some jars with labels such as
"ZEBRAS," and "Lions," etc.
An angel dressed in a robe, wings, and a halo
enters the stage. She reaches for a jar on the
shelf, then approaches the globe on the table. The
jar is labeled "dinosaurs" in big, bold letters.
She begins to unscrew the lid just as the three
time travelers enter the sanctuary from the REAR.
STEPHANIE
(From the back of the Church)
Wait! Stop!
Stephanie, Eve, and William race down the aisle
towards God’s Office.
ANGEL hesitates with the jar tipped above the
globe.
WILLIAM
(Out of breath)
You really shouldn’t do that!
ANGEL
Why not? The maker said there was room on the Earth for
all of his creations.
STEVE
If you release dinosaurs into the wild, you’ll be
endangering Earth’s delicate balance.
ANGEL
(Putting the jar down)
I don’t understand.
EVE
(excited)
Please, little girl . . . Adam and I will both be dino
food unless you put that jar back down! (Lifts up a
bunch of leafs that have been strung together)

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 9.

WILLIAM
That’s all that’s left of Adam?
STEVE
(Stooping low)
Where did you get the idea of dumping dinosaurs onto
Earth?
ANGEL
A man told me ... he said that Father had forgotten to
add them. . .
STEVE
That man wasn’t your friend. He was lying to you.
WILLIAM
Next time, double-check with an adult before you follow
the advice of a complete stranger
ANGEL
(cross)
An adult? I’m nearly 200 years old!
WILLIAM
(taken aback))
Well . . . someone who’s older than you, then!
ADAM(V.O.)
Eve..!! Where did you go?
EVE
Adam! (To William and Stephanie) It’s time for me to go
back! Thank you for saving me!
WILLIAM
You’re welcome.
William presses a button on the controller. The
portal activates, and EVE passes through the
portal.
STEPHANIE
It’ll be good to get back to the way things were.
WILLIAM
You’re telling me!
Stephanie and William turn to leave
ANGEL
(Grabs a hammer off of the table)
Wait! That stranger gave this to me! I think he stole
it from someone.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 10.

Stephanie accepts the hammer and examines it.

STEPHANIE
I’ve only seen tools like this in museums, but this
hammer looks brand-new.
WILLIAM
Steve . . . I know where I’ve seen that hammer before!
It belonged to Noah. He won’t be able to build the ark
without it . . .
STEPHANIE
Oh no. . . does this mean we can’t go back home?
WILLIAM
I’m afraid so. (Begins to punch buttons on the
CONTROLLER) We need to return it.
William and Steve exit through the time portal.
Fade Out.
4 Scene 2: Noah’s Workshop
The biggest set piece in Noah’s workshop is the
keel of the Ark. There could be a workbench nearby
with a variety of tools on top of it.
NOAH is frantically searching his workshop from
top to bottom for something.
There is the sound of the time machine. WILLIAM
and STEPHANIE enter from the SANCTUARY RIGHT
ENTRANCE. They stop and stand in front of the
altar just down from the piano.
STEPHANIE
I hope we’re not too late!
WILLIAM
(Glances at the remote) The controller says that we are
at the right time.
A Woman approaches them from STAGE LEFT.
NOAH’S WIFE
(Desperate) My husband has gone insane! You must help
me!
STEPHANIE
Whoa..Slow down! What’s the problem?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 11.

NOAH’S WIFE
One moment Noah was fine, and then the next thing I
know he’s obsessing about building an ark.
STEPHANIE
Did you say your husband’s name is Noah?
NOAH’S WIFE
That’s right! Now he’s carrying on and on about finding
his hammer and finishing the ark before the rains
start.
WILLIAM
(Holds up the hammer)
Actually, I think we can help.
The three walk up onto stage where noah is looking
for the hammer.
NOAH’S WIFE
Noah! These men say that they can help!
NOAH
(Glances at the two men) You’re of no help to me unless
you know where I can find another hammer forged by God
himself!
William holds up hammer.
WILLIAM
Actually..we do.
NOAH
Thank the maker! Now I can carry on with my work! I am
in your debt!
STEPHANIE
Well, we’re grateful for the work you’re doing.
NOAH
(Scans workbench)
Let me give you something as a token of my gratitude
(Picks up slingshot) Ah! Here it is.
STEPHANIE
(Accepts slingshot)
A slingshot? That’s a strange tool.
NOAH
No..I haven’t had it for very long. A strange fellow
stopped by my workshop this afternoon, and insisted on
giving this to me. Now that I think of it, that was
just before my hammer disappeared!

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 12.

WILLIAM
(To Steve)
Do you realize what this could be?
STEPHANIE
Another relic from bible history . . .
NOAH
He was very persuasive. Claimed that the slingshot was
so powerful, it could be nicknamed "the Giantkiller."
WILLIAM
I think I know where this came from.
STEPHANIE
Where? Or, better yet..when?
WILLIAM
I’ll explain on the way..but we’ve got to hurry!
William and Stephanie step down from the altar and
exit SANCTUARY RIGHT. There is the sound of the
time machine and a bright flash.
NOAH
(calling out)
Thanks again for your help!
FADE TO BLACK
5 SCENE 3: Battlefield
GOLIATH enters from STAGE RIGHT carrying a sword.
He steps down from the altar. A soldier enters
from SANCTUARY REAR and intercepts GOLIATH in the
aisle. They begin to do battle.
SOUNDS OF CLANKING SWORDS.
There is the sound of TIME TRAVEL and then
STEPHANIE and WILLIAM enter the sanctuary from
STAGE RIGHT. They remain on the altar as they
watch the fight, but stoop low as if to hide from
the soldiers.
The sword fight continues but GOLIATH and the
soldier should stay close to the altar.
STEPHANIE
(Whispering)
That big guy must be Goliath, but I don’t think that’s
David.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 13.

William stands up
STEVE
Where do you think you’re going?
WILLIAM
He’s going to kill that man! Somebody needs to stop
him!
STEPHANIE
You can’t do that . . .
William lifts up the slingshot and picks up a
stone.
WILLIAM
Watch me.
STEPHANIE continues to hold him back, but William
breaks free.
William approaches the edge of the altar with the
slingshot hidden behind his back.
STEPHANIE
No! It’s not part of God’s plan. If we don’t let things
play out the way they should, we’re meddlers just like
the Devil!
WILLIAM
(Out into the sanctuary)
Hey! Stink Breath!
The soldiers stop fighting.
GOLIATH turns and looks up at WILLIAM
GOLIATH
(snarling)
What do you want?
WILLIAM
Why don’t you pick on someone your own size!
GOLIATH
(Laughing; points a finger) Certainly you are not
suggesting that I fight You!
WILLIAM
(Tentatively) Well...that was the general idea.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 14.

GOLIATH
(Swings Sword and slices at the soldier;
the soldier falls to the ground)
I’ve fought a difficult battle today. Perhaps I’ve
earned a light snack.
STEPHANIE pulls William back. They face each other
as they converse. GOLIATH approaches the stage
slowly with deliberate steps. SOUNDS OF GIANT
FOOTSTEPS.
STEPHANIE
This isn’t going to work! You’ll get yourself killed!
William pulls out the slingshot as Goliath
approaches.
WILLIAM
Not when I have . . . my secret weapon!
He pulls back and lets fly with the stone, but it
just bounces off of Goliath’s armor.
WILLIAM
Maybe it’s time for Plan B!
STEPHANIE
What’s that?
WILLIAM
Run!
William drops the slingshot. William and Steve
exit STAGE RIGHT. Goliath follows them off stage
as he shouts:
GOLIATH
(Chasing after them)
Come back here Cowards!
The lights dim, and there is the SOUNDS OF TIME
TRAVEL. A flash of light fills the stage.
The lights come up just as DAVIDenters from STAGE
LEFT. He stops in front of the slingshot, bends
over, and picks it up to examine it.
DAVID
Hey! I’ve been looking for that!
GOLIATH enters the sanctuary from FRONT ENTRANCE.
He crosses in front of the altar, then notices
DAVID.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 15.

GOLIATH
You there! Did two men just run by?
DAVID
No.
GOLIATH
They couldn’t have vanished into thin air! (Pause)
Say...You look familiar!
DAVID
I should...I’m the soldier who promised to stop you!
(Lifts up slingshot)
GOLIATH
(laughs) It will take more to stop me than--
DAVID Lets fly with the stone. The stone hits
Goliath, and the giant falls to the floor.
FADE TO BLACK
 16.

ACT III
6 Scene 1: Courtyard
A shrouded figure enters the stage from STAGE LEFT
carrying a loaf of bread. He stops, and then ducks
out of sight as WILLIAM and STEPHANIE enter the
stage.
WILLIAM
I still feel bad about running off before we could get
the slingshot to David.
STEPHANIE
Not as bad as you would have if we’d stayed! We’re safe
for now, but I can’t say for certain which time period
we’ve landed in.
The stranger leaps out.
WILLIAM
Careful! It’s Satan!
DEVIL
I believe you have something that belongs to me!
WILLIAM
(Holds up the device) Liar! This never belonged to you!
DEVIL
Still, I need it back. Give it to me and I’ll not only
let you return to the present, but I can fulfill your
wildest dreams!
WILLIAM
Return to a Future that’s under your control? NO deal!
DEVIL
(To Steve) How about you?
STEPHANIE
I’m with William
WILLIAM
All we’re really interested in is the loaf of bread
you’re carrying (points). Give that to us, and we’ll
give you back the controller.
DEVIL
(Laughing)
You are either very wise or extremely stupid (Pauses;
offers bread) But I will make that trade.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 17.

STEPHANIE
What are you doing?
WILLIAM
Trust me! (to the Devil) Here you go.
The Devil accepts the controller, and William
takes the bread. The Devil exits STAGE RIGHT.
STEVE
That’s just Great! How are we going to get back Home?
A DISCIPLE enters from stage left with two guards.
DISCIPLE
Arrest Those men! They stole our bread!
WILLIAM
Wait! We didn’t take the bread!
STEVE
We got it back from the Devil!
GUARD #1
Be silent!
The Guard leads William and Steve to a nearby
bench where they are chained together.
The GUARD exits stage left.
The DISCIPLE and GUARD exit Stage Right.
WILLIAM
(Hushed) STEPHANIE.
STEPHANIEignores William
WILLIAM
(Hushed and more urgent) Steve!
STEPHANIE continues to ignore William
WILLIAM
Listen...I know you think that this is my fault, and I
don’t blame you. I don’t like getting arrested any more
than you do. The devil wasn’t going to give us back the
bread for the last supper unless we had something to
give him in return. Obviously he wanted the time
controller.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 18.

STEPHANIE
Of course he wanted the time controller! It was the
only way to get back to our time!
WILLIAM
No, I don’t think its the only way.
STEPHANIE
What other way is there?
WILLIAM
I’m not sure . . .But I have faith that we’ll be taken
care of.
The GUARD enters from stage right with REGINA
dressed in a cloak.
GUARD #1
You have a visitor!
The cloaked figure pulls down her hood to reveal
that she is REGINA.
WILLIAM AND STEVE JUMP UP
WILLIAM
Regina! But, how--
REGINA
Did I mention that Rule #1 was written for me?
STEPHANIE
That little girl we stopped in God’s Office was you!
REGINA
You did me a huge favor that day. . .and now I’m going
to return that favor
(To the guard)
Guard! These men are innocent! They must be set free.
GUARD
I’m sorry, miss, but they’re thieves! They will answer
for their crimes!
REGINA
Okay, I hate to pull rank, but . . .
Regina takes off her cloak to reveal a white dress
and angellic wings
I’m ordering you on the authority of the Lord.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 19.

The guard bows and then releases WILLIAM and

STEPHANIE.
(To William and Steve)
Let’s go!
REGINA LIFTS UP A CONTROLLER, AND HITS SOME BUTTONS. THE
PORTAL OPENS. AND THEY STEP THROUGH IT.
7 Scene 3: God’s Office
There is the sound of the TIME MACHINE once again.
REGINA and STEPHANIE exit the portal. The door closes
shut.
REGINA
Did it work?
STEPHANIE
Everything looks the way it should. (Glances around)
Where’s William?
WILLIAM
(Entering from stage right; William is
wearing the outfit from earlier in the
play)
I’m right here! Hi Regina. (Lifts up a box) Let’s get
started on the upgrade!
William approaches the computer. Regina takes
Steve aside
REGINA
Steve, you were working a William from a parallel
reality where the Devil had succeeded. This William
never traveled with you to the past.
STEPHANIE
(Sadly)
Then I’ll never get the chance to thank William for
saving our lives.
REGINA
Just be his friend, Stephanie. I have a feeling that’ll
be thanks enough.
WILLIAM
Steve, stop wasting time talking and help with this
install...I was hoping to get back to the office before
they ran out of donuts!
STEPHANIE
Sure thing . . .
William and Steve hunch over the computer. Regina
exits stage right. The lights dim.
 20.

The End