Johnson

Domestic Violence in Same-Sex Couples

Domestic Violence in Same-Sex Couples

Emily Johnson
Erin Seldat-Kline
April 19, 2012

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Domestic Violence in Same-Sex Couples

Typically when one is asked to think of domestic and

intimate partner violence, one is inclined to picture a drunk,
overweight man in a wife-beater smacking his wife around while
their children hide in their rooms. However, there is another
dark side of domestic abuse that does not get near the attention
it deserves: violence and abuse in same-sex relationships. Very
little is known about domestic and intimate partner violence
within same-sex couples when compared with what is known about
violence within heterosexual couples.
Research has continued to provide solid evidence supporting
the notion that the prevalence of domestic abuse within same-sex
relationships mirrors that of heterosexual relationships;
however, the differences lay in the help-seeking behaviors of the
individuals involved and the resources available to them (Hester
et al., 2010), as well as the methodologies implemented in
studying same-sex domestic violence.
Several factors present obstacles that prevent researchers
from collecting valid and reliable data concerning same-sex
domestic violenceobstacles that interfere with research results
and thus cannot adequately represent the group studied.
Historically, research methods have developed and molded to fit
and reflect the socio-economic and political context of the
particular era. Also, with the introduction of new interest
groups (and therefore new needs of these groups) these methods
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Domestic Violence in Same-Sex Couples
change. As such, different research methods with different levels
of credibility and impact can be found across the globe (Hester
et al., 2010).
These differing methodologies can pose problems in
accurately researching and documenting differences between
genders. There exists a gendered paradigm war when it comes to
researching domestic violence within same-sex relationships: a
greater emphasis on qualitative research within lesbian couples,
on quantitative research within gay male couples. Such
qualitative research includes interviews and surveys, while
quantitative research leans more towards questionnaires (Hester
et al., 2010).
This variety of methodologies often results in invalid and
unreliable data. Recorded prevalence rates for physical violence
have been shown to vary 8%69% in lesbian relationships and 11%
47% in gay male relationships (Hester et al., 2010). One of the
earliest studies regarding same-sex domestic violence suggested a
47% perpetration rate amongst same-sex couples, but more recent
results show that 47.5% of lesbian but only 29.7% of gay males
experience intimate partner violence (Brown and Groscup, 2008).
Results from another study showed that within the sample
represented, 22% of lesbian and 29% of gay male relationships
have experienced regular abusephysical, psychological,
emotional, sexualfrom a partner (Hester et al., 2010).
Conversely, rates of domestic violence within heterosexual
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relationships have remained consistent at around 33% (Brown and
Groscup, 2008).
British sociologist Ann Oakley emphasizes the need for a
more critical yet more ethical approach to research methods not
just concerning the differences between lesbian and gay male
relationships, but all sociological research methods. She
remarks:
Qualitative research is not more authentically female or
feminine than quantitative research It is not necessarily
more ethical either There is no such thing as simply
recording or publishing data. There must always be a
selection; the critical issue is whether this is made
according to the kinds of open and systematic criteria which
other people can inspect, or not The more appropriate goal
is the continuation of systematic enquiry. (Oakley, 2000)
Another minor problem in integrating valid and reliable data
regarding same-sex domestic violence into the sociological world
is not the disparities between lesbian and gay male couples, but
those between same-sex and heterosexual couples. The United
States National Violence Against Women (NVAW) survey is one of
the very few equally representative studies that compare and
contrast same-sex and heterosexual samples. An interesting
statistic that this survey yielded: in same-sex relationships,
gay males are more likely to report intimate partner violence
than their lesbian counterpart, but women in abusive heterosexual
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relationships are the most likely of all samples studied to
report violence. (Hester et al., 2010)
Problems with studying domestic violence within same-sex
relationships aside, providing support (social and legal) for
those affected by domestic violence in same-sex households has
been nothing if not difficult. Given the oppressive,
heterosexual, and patriarchal nature of modern society, it is
often difficult for lesbian and gay individuals to reach out for
help in abusive situations. Homophobia is widespread;

a study

has found that around two out of five lesbian, gay, bisexual, and
transsexual (LGBT) individuals under the age of 18 have been the
victim of homophobic domestic abuse from within their own
families (Hester et al., 2010). That statistic is disregarding
the pressure put on these individuals from peers, authority
figures, and even those whose jobs are designed to help those in
need.
So who in the population is the most likely to hold
homophobic beliefs? Studies show that these individuals tend to
have less formal education, higher religiosity, and little to no
contact with homosexuals. Antigay sentiments seem to be
particularly strong within minority groups; ethnically speaking,
people of African and Middle Eastern decent tend to oppose samesex relationships, while those of Latino and European decent tend
to welcome them. Ones gender can also influence homophobic
tendencies. While men and women have been shown to have similar
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Domestic Violence in Same-Sex Couples
beliefs in regards to lesbians, heterosexual men tend to hold
harsher attitudes towards gay men (Sorenson and Thomas, 2009).
Possibly, this is due in part to the abovementioned oppressive
and heterosexual nature of modern society.
Against what one would initially think, a significant number
of mental health providers let homophobia directly affect how
they treat their patients. A study conducted in 1997 revealed
that mental health professionals perceived same-sex abuse as less
violent then its heterosexual counterpart, as well being less
likely to suggest pressing charges against the perpetrator. This
homophobia extends past how the offenders are treated; in the
same study, it was demonstrated that different treatment
recommendations were offered to the victims based off their
sexual orientation (Brown and Groscup, 2008).
This homophobia has other repercussions. Sometimes seeking
help from abuse has worse aftereffects than remaining silent; the
homophobic social environment lacks in support for homosexuals in
general, and as such many just suggest the victim leave the
abuser and not try to work through anything. This bias affects
what little help these victims get, and the vicious cycle repeats
itself all over again (Duke and Davidson, 2009).
These results, amongst others, suggest that same-sex
violence is seen as less serious than heterosexual violence.
Multiple false ideologies support this false notion. Some
feminists theorize misogynistic tendencies are bound to arise
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within heterosexual relationships due to inert gender inequality,
but this inevitability is removed as a threat within same-sex
relationshipsas if all same-sex relationships are egalitarian
because the individuals are the same sex. Also reflecting the
male-dominated collective ideology rampant in todays culture is
the idea of women being naturally, or biologically, less
aggressive than men, and perhaps this makes it difficult not only
to report domestic violence within a same-sex household, but also
to just talk about it amongst others (Hester et al., 2010).
Most service providers fail to understand how a woman is
able to hurt another woman in the same fashion as heterosexual
men hurt their partners. They are accustomed to helping
heterosexual abuse victims. Many of the women they help are weak
and broken down, as well as unable to fend off their abuser; take
away the gender inequality, and there will be no violence. It is
unfathomable for many to imagine a woman unleashing such carnage
on another woman, and they are not sure how to approach it.
Sadly, women perpetrate in the same ways as menabuse, harass,
rape, stalk, and kill (Duke and Davidson, 2009).
Similarly, many do not understand how abuse could occur in a
gay male relationship. It is a social expectation for men to
stick up for themselves and fight back. How, then, can a gay
man put up with the abuse time after time, without finally
retaliating? For this reason, it is not surprising that many gay

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Domestic Violence in Same-Sex Couples
men have difficulty admitting their victimhood and seeking help
(Duke and Davidson, 2009).
Perceptions of the nature of same-sex domestic and intimate
partner violence as less serious than its heterosexual equivalent
reflect the concept of deserving and undeserving abuse victims.
Victims and victimizers alike do not bring those roles upon
themselves; the idea of victimization is a socially constructed
one, and as with most socially constructed ideologies, there
exists a spectrum, deeming some victims more worthy of aid and
support than others (Sorenson and Thomas, 2009).
Recent research has discovered that the majority of those
polled rate abusive incidents involving minorities as more
serious, minorities in this case including heterosexual women and
homosexual individuals. However, there is less public outcry for
same-sex domestic violence victims and far less pleas for equal
aid for said victims, and this manifests itself into a resounding
notion of homosexual abuse victims deserving of the abuse. It has
been noted across multiple studies that heterosexual men are
considered to be the most undeserving of all domestic and
intimate partner violence victims (Sorenson and Thomas, 2009).
On the other end of the spectrum are the perpetrators. It is
common knowledge that men are more likely to abuse their partners
in any domestic dispute. Accordingly, men in same-sex
relationships have an increased likelihood of experiencing
intimate partner violence, because both partners have the same
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likelihood of becoming violent. Theoretically, gay males are
twice as likely to experience abuse as lesbians are (Duke and
Davidson, 2009).
The aforementioned obstacles, among others, prevent many
victims of same-sex intimate partner violence from seeking help.
One unique to same-sex relationships is the threat of outing
the victim to his or her family. Society has made leaps and
bounds with stressing tolerance, but in many parts of the
country, and even the world, it is hard for many to be openly
homosexual. This social pressure, along with the threats of the
abuser, can put victims between a rock and a hard place, so to
say, and many remain in their abusive relationships for years
(Duke and Davidson, 2009).
In more ways than most think, same-sex domestic and intimate
partner violence mirrors many of the characteristics of
heterosexual violence. However, in just as many ways, it differs
so drastically to the point that accurate information and
statistics have been hard to come by. With society becoming more
liberal, more light is being shed on the violence that occurs
within homosexual relationships. Hopefully one day, everyone,
regardless of gender and sexual orientation, will have access to
the same help as anyone else.

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Domestic Violence in Same-Sex Couples

Works Cited
Brown, M.J., and Groscup, J. (2008). Perceptions of same-sex
domestic violence among crisis center staff. Journal of
Family Violence, 24, 87-93.
Duke, A., and Davidson, M.M. (2009). Same-sex intimate partner
violence: lesbian, gay, and bisexual affirmative outreach
and advocacy. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment, and
Trauma, 18, 795-816.
Hester, M., Donovan, C., and Fahmy, E. (2010). Feminist
epistemology and the politics of method: surveying same sex
domestic violence. International Journal of Social Research
Methodology, 13, 251-263.
Sorenson, S.B., and Thomas, K.A. (2009). Views of intimate
partner violence in same- and opposite-sex relationships.
Journal of marriage and Family, 71, 337-352.