Vol.

XIV Summer, 1998

The Waverly Newsletter

Greenwich, CT

Details for the 1998 Waverly Invitational

Here are a few of the details that you need to know for the upcoming Waverly tournament.

Spike less shoes are required on all courses (soft spikes).

The following are not considered to be proper dress: Swimming attire Shirts without collars or sleeves
Blue jeans or blue jean shorts Gym shorts or tennis shorts
Cut off shorts or tank tops

Upon arrival the balance required is: $301 to Sea Trail $50 to Ricky Lee
(No post dated third party checks please)

For directions check out the web site at www.seatrailresort.com or call Rick on 919-968-2537 or E-mail at cobble109@aol.com

Please be early for the practice round on Wednesday, Calcutta bidding will take place that evening.

Other facilities include: Bike rentals Lighted tennis courts Lighted driving range & putting green
Shuffleboard Pool, sauna &whirlpool Weight room

Six pack cooler are allowed on course. Plans call for group meals at the condos on two nights. Anybody not driving a long distance,
please consider bringing a grill for barbequing.

Three villas have been reserved and your package includes the tournament fee, accommodations, breakfast, greens fee, golf cart, range
balls, and a 1 hour open bar on Friday, May 1st.
Commissioner’s Suite: Bill, Woody, Sam and Rick
GQ Suite: Rudy, Jim, Marty and Tom
Just Glad to be Here Suite: Patrick, Ray, Tim and Stan

If the rooms are available they will let us check in prior to our practice round even thought the official check in time is 4:00 pm.

Here is the schedule of our playing times:

Round Holes Tee Time Course Yardage Slope Rating

Wednesday Practice 18 1:32 pm Byrd 6,251 126 70.3

Thursday First 27 8:28 am Maples 6,332 125 70.6

Friday Second 27 8:28 am Jones 6,334 126 70.4

Saturday Third 18 12:12 pm Byrd 6,251 126 70.3

Beer Theory
USA, Palo Alto, CA (AP) - “Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory,
the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense,
became emotional, and couldn’t drive. No further testing is planned.”

Brains of the Operation

Ricky Lee was so distressed over losing last year’s Waverly that he went to Marty, Woody’s swing guru and pleaded with him to tell him
the secret of building a winning swing. Marty told him “The secret is being smart.”

Ricky Lee said: “Don’t be crazy. You have to be a big strong hitter, a gripper and ripper to win.”

“No,” said Marty, “smart is the answer.”

“Give me an example.” Ricky Lee said.

Marty called Rudy Marshburn over and said “Rudy, who is your father’s brother’s nephew?”

“It’s me.” Rudy replied.

“He’s a smart guy.” said Ricky Lee and headed back to Chapel Hill.
Ricky Lee called up Patrick English and said “Patrick, who is your father’s brother’s nephew?”

Patrick responded “Ricky Lee, I am working on some putting with my butcher, let me get back to you.”
Patrick went back out to his butcher and asked “Who is your father’s brother’s nephew?”

“It’s me.” said the butcher.

Patrick called Ricky Lee back. “Ricky, I’ve been thinking about your question. The answer is my butcher.”

“No you idiot!”responded Ricky Lee “It’s Rudy Marshburn.”

News, Notes & Dirt

A few thoughts during a slow day at the office ....... Official Motto of the 98 Waverly - “What happens at Sea Trail Plantation stays at Sea
Trail Plantation” ....... because women have PMS, it’s only fair that men have ESPN ....... there will be heavy fines for anybody caught
using the lighted range or putting green for more than 2 hours once the lights are on ...... “Let the clumsy, the spineless, the alibi artist,
stand aside.” ....... what ever happened to Nolan Henke ....... this year’s Waverly will be determined by the degree of “sphincter tightening”
occurring in the last group on the last day ....... I wonder if there is karioke at Sea Trail Plantation ....... “ladies and gentlemen, boys and
girls, keep your hands inside the ride at all times” ....... It doesn’t matter where you get your appetite - so long as you go home to eat

Trivia FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-

Read the following statement: SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE
EXPERIENCE OF MANY YEARS.

Count the # of F’s appearing in this statement. How many are there?

The Waverly Portfolio

Market Buy Price 04/9/98 Profit Comment
IBM NYSE $57 7/16 $106 3/8 $49 Hold
Ingersoll Rand NYSE $27 1/2 $51 5/16 $24 Hold
Lockheed Martin NYSE $65 $109 $44 Hold
McDonalds NYSE $43 ½ $62 3/16 $19 Hold
Paychex Nasdaq $31 $58 3/4 $27 Hold
Berkshire Hathaway B NYSE $1860 $2332 $472 Hold
Nike NYSE $43 7/8 $ 44 1/2 $0 Buy
Women
Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think we care.
What’s the best thing about getting a blowjob? 10 minutes of peace and quiet.

The Field, The Skinny

The Commish 15 -Not a good buy in the Calcutta, might as well start drinking heavily now.
Razor 18 - Back to say he can. Yeah, right - and we all have 24" dicks.
Woody 27 - Playing much better and often now that he retired. Will be bring dog hats for the field to advertise.
Marty 12 - What can I say about Martin, swing doc extraordinaire.
Bardo 6 - Going for low gross again. Sings songs that remind him of the good times, songs that remind him of the better times.
Courts 12 - Still playing to a twelve. There’s a better chance of monkeys flying out this man’s butt than him winning.
Rudy TBD - Good to have Rudy back. Living proof there is a god, bring some of your independent contractors with you PLEASE.
Stan TBD - Good to have the doc back in the field.
Sam 21 - He’s got new clubs, like that will help. Take a lesson and it’s a double wammy.
Jello Shot 20 - Could be a dark horse. Moved to Pittsburgh PA, there goes the fucking neighborhood.
Ray the Butcher TBD - Hear he makes on heck of a flank steak. No bum steers, meats to your approval.
Patrick 26 - Who did he payoff to get that many strokes.

The field is at 12. Here is who dropped out and their "reason."
Larry - Couldn’t find a traveling caddy.
Barnes - Expecting their first child. Congratulations to Tom and his wife.
Geshay - Work conflict
Greg - Cannot make the first round due to the furniture market in High Point NC
Steve - Traveling too much.
Carey - Has to babysit.
Horn - Something about 3 women, a horse and midget.

Next edition of The Waverly Newsletter: Summer, 1998.

Trivia answer: 6