10/7/2014

The Triggers of Sexual Desire: Men vs. Women | Psychology Today

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Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D., who holds

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On the paradoxes of personality

by Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D.

The Triggers of Sexual Desire: Men vs. Women

Part 1Are Male Brains Hard-Wired to See Females as Sex Objects?
Published on May 11, 2012 by Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. in Evolution of the Self

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Neuroscientists have much to teach us about the whats and
whys of our sexual preferences. Merely on the basis of personal
experience, you might be able to guess some of their findings.
Still, the results of their research on the nature and origins of our
erotic interests arent always intuitive. So theres a good chance
that major gaps exist in your understanding of where your
sexual interests actually come from. In fact, its fairly likely that
some of your tastes, or tendencies, have puzzled you all along.
This particular segment of my multi-post coverage on the subject of human sexual desire will itself be
divided into two parts. Here Ill be discussing the fundamentals of male erotic predilections. In the next
part Ill take up the quite different psycho-neurological cues that propel most womens sexual desire. As
in the other sections of this extended series, most of my points will be based on Ogi Ogas and Sai
Gaddams A Billion Wicked Thoughts: What the Worlds Largest Experiment Reveals About Human
Desire (2011). This most ambitious of undertakingscomprehensive and scholarly, yet at the same
time quite accessible and entertainingis unusually thorough, both in summarizing its own exhaustive
research and discussing the findings of scores of other scientists whove pondered this evercontroversial topic.
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To begin with, its essential to note that the literature specifically studying
mens arousal patterns (gay as well as straight) has repeatedly
emphasized their sensitivity to visual cues. As soon as the lust-inspiring
image registers in their brain, they become turned-onnot only physically
but psychologically, too. Exposure to such erotic stimuli immediately
activates the parts of their brain related to getting an erection. And, as
Ogas and Gaddam suggest, Mens greater sex drive may be partially due
to the fact that their sexual motivation pathways have more connections to
the subcortical reward system than in women [or, in short] mens brains
are designed to objectify females. Frustrated women have frequently (and
cynically) complained that mens brains are located between their legs. But
the authors more scientifically grounded viewpoint seeks to elucidate the
strategicand frankly, unwilledconnection between the males brain and
his genitals. (See also an earlier two-part post of mine called The
Testosterone Curse.)
Its therefore no coincidence that many adult sites targeting men zero in on
body parts. Ogas and Gaddam (as the computational neuroscientists that
they are) cite Fantasti.cc to point out that of their 100 top-rated images no
fewer than 23 exhibit close-ups of female anatomy without a face.
Although, unquestionably, the dehumanizing implications of such
calculated cropping are saddening, many of the authors characterizations
are nonetheless laugh-worthy. For instance, alluding to one websites
presentation of female body parts, they observe: The site looks like a
Victorias Secret catalog passed through a paper shredder. And theyre

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10/7/2014

The Triggers of Sexual Desire: Men vs. Women | Psychology Today

forced to conclude (lament?) that mens brains scrutinize the details of
arousing visuals with the kind of concentration jewelers apply to the cut of
a diamond (p. 47).

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Ogas and Gaddam continually make observations about male sexual

desire that indirectly suggest the perpetual war between the sexes
unless, I would add, that at some point both men and women realize that
however at variance their sexual instincts may be, they are just that
instincts. If, as the authors state, a virile mans libido can instantly be set
off by one or more visual cuesthat, in turn, compel him to take direct
(i.e., orgasm-related) action, then how could he not view women as
vehicles of (or receptacles for) his unruly lust? Surely, none of this animallike behavior warrants being viewed as admirable. Still, the evolutionary
imperative so deeply embedded in a males organismthe demand that
his attention be focused on whats linked to perpetuating the species
makes such innate impulses, if not laudatory, at least sympathetically
understandable.

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Additionally, the authors talk about

male desire as a solitary affair.
That is, the single-minded pursuit of
sexual arousal can exist totally
independent of a relationship.
Getting off as such has precious
little to do with emotional intimacy.
A man can sit alone, halfmesmerized before his computer
screen, as he intently clicks on images and videos in his hunt for what will
immediately ignite his libido.
Unlike his female counterpart, he gives little or no thought to actually
sharing his erotic predilections or experiences with friends. And searching
for stimuli that will engender or enhance sexual excitement (and ultimately
create a most pleasurable dopamine release) is quite apart from any
tender feelings, or craving for a genuinely intimate human attachment.
Literallyand symbolicallyits masturbatory: sex for one. When in the
next post I take up female sexual desire, Ill show how women are far less
turned on by erotic images than by particular kinds of relationships (as
theyre typically dramatized, or exaggerated, in romance novels). Such
fictive relationships can inflame their imagination with a strange sort of
romanticismhowever outrageous or hazardous their fantasies might be
(at its extreme, think blood-sucking, yet love-stricken, vampires).
The cartoon metaphor used by Ogas and Gaddam to depict the male
brains desire software is, of all people, Elmer Fudd (!)the comically
ludicrous wabbit hunter. To the authors, Fudd is solitary, quick to arouse,
goal-targeted, driven to hunt . . . and a little foolish (p. 61). In other words,
two-dimensional: the very emblem of a man whose trigger-happy brain
forever resides between his legs. But with Fudd its his rifle, not his phallus,
that propels him ever forward. Eternally outmaneuvered by the ingenious
Bugs Bunny, he yet resolutely reloads, time after time awaiting his next
chance to shoot at his targeted prey. And the way the male sexual brain is
constituted (as long, that is, as testosterone levels remain sufficiently high,
or ones personal, non-sexual ideals are suspended), the pursuit of sexual
stimulation remains undiscouraged and unfaltering. One might almost say,
indomitable.
Beyond the particular physical, or visual, cues that men seek for arousal,
some additional psychological cues might also be mentioned here. The
first of these may seem a little surprising, for what Ive been describing
probably suggests an almost shamelessly egocentric attitude toward
women. But for the great majority of men it turns out to be the most
arousing stimuli of all. Namely, its the depiction of women (in stills or, even
better, in videos) gasping, moaning, screaming, and swooning: that is, the
portrayal of women seemingly electrified by the most intense sexual
pleasure. As Ogas and Gaddams research leads them to conclude: This

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may be the most common cue across all varieties of online porn. To
further highlight this point, they quote one male porn devotee exclaiming
on Reddit: Seeing and hearing a woman who is truly turned on like crazy
has to be the biggest aphrodisiac I can think of . . . (p. 186).
Closely related to this female
pleasure cue is the authenticity cue.
To secure their own arousal, men
need to feel convinced that
renderings of the womans arousal
arent fake but a representation of
actual sexual excitement. Just as
they might suspect, if their real-life
partner didnt seem turned on by
their lovemaking, that someone else
might be turning them on, when
theyre not persuaded that the
woman theyre watching on a porn
site is ecstatic in her sexual escapades, they can truly feel cheated on.
The final sexual cue Ill touch upon here (though Ill be considering still
others in later segments of this multi-part post) is the novelty cue. As Ogas
and Gaddam report: Males of most species [and, ahem, that even
includes rats] are wired to become aroused by novelty. . . (p. 192). And
this explains why amateur porn is so popular. For, typically, it includes not
only authenticity cues but novelty ones as well. And here the authors
biological and evolutionary explanations for this sexual preference hardly
seem necessary. That is, I think virtually all of us would agree that brains,
human and non-human alike, are set alight, or refreshed, by novelty
(sexual or otherwise). Our interest and attention is far less likely to be
sustainedlet alone piquedby what weve already experienced than by
something as yet unfamiliar to us.
. . . And the infinite smorgasbord that is the Internet provides opportunities
for pursuing novelty like no medium that ever before existed.
NOTE 1: Here ae the titles and links to each segment of this 12-part
series:
What Brain Science Can Teach You About Sex
The Triggers of Sexual Desire: Are Male Brains Hard-Wired to See
Females as Sex Objects?
The Triggers of Sexual Desire: Part 2Erotica for Women
Paradox and Pragmatism in Women's Sexual Desire
Internet Rule #34 [and yes! there really is such a "rule"]Or, What's
Normal in Sex?
You Cant Much Help What Turns You On
The Secret, Taboo Aspects of Male Sexual Desire
Why Do Women Fall for Serial Killers?
Gay or Straight, A Male Is a Male Is a Male
Dominant or Submissive: The Paradox of Power in Sexual
Relationships
Six Recent Innovations In Porn and Erotica
Internet Porn: Its Problems, Perils, and Pitfulls
NOTE 2: If you found this post informative (and, hopefully, somewhat
entertaining as well), I hope youll consider passing it on.
2012 Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved.
----I invite readers to join me on Facebook, and to follow my
psychological/philosophical musings on Twitter.

16 Reader comments join the discussion here!

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